HAGAR 
REVEL LY 


ame 


Ccirson 
Goodman 


i^rt^ 

'  V      / 

/  r\  J       <„*    \ 


HAGAR  REVELLY 


By 
DANIEL  CARSON  GOODMAN 

Author  of  "Unclothed" 


NEW  YORK 

MITCHELL   KENNERLEY 
1913 


Copyright,  1913,  by 
Mitchell  Kennerley 


To 
MY  MOTHER 

who  has  ever  been  to  me  the  friend  .  , 
steadfast,  enduring9  self-sacrificingo 


2135S23 


The  regulator  of  the  world  is  destiny      .     .     . 

— Remy  de  Gourmont. 


CHAPTER  I 

EMAN  REVELLY  and  his  wife  had  quarrelled  for  quite 
half  of  their  twenty  years  together.  This  quarrel  was 
apparently  much  like  the  others. 

His  wife  and  the  two  daughters,  Hagar  and  Thatah, 
sat  at  the  breakfast  table,  as  he  backed  in  from  the 
kitchen.  His  short,  thick  figure  was  trembling  with 
temper,  the  beads  of  perspiration,  like  little  pearls,  stood 
out  upon  the  bald  part  of  his  head. 

"  Fanny  is  disrespectful  again.  For  a  servant,  a 
blockhead,  a  piece  of  animal  flesh  without  brains,  to  an- 
swer me  in  this  manner  is  —  is  — "  he  stumbled  on  the 
word,  and  then,  noticing  the  look  of  disgust  and  toler- 
ance on  his  wife's  face,  and  on  the  face  of  the  younger 
daughter,  Hagar,  he  controlled  himself  and  took  the  re- 
maining vacant  chair. 

As  if  he  felt  the  necessity  for  further  words,  he  asked 
nervously :  "  What  have  we  to  eat  ?  "  He  took  a  hand- 
kerchief from  his  sleeve  and  energetically  mopped  his 
reddened  face,  adding,  "  I  get  so  nervous.  I  can't  con- 
trol myself." 

The  only  answer  that  came  to  him  was  a  laugh  from 
Hagar.  The  child  was  always  amused  when  her  father 
spoke  under  temper,  for  his  habit  of  rolling  the  r's  had 
never  left  him.  But  further  aggravation  from  Hagar 
was  suppressed  by  her  face  being  buried  in  a  napkin. 

After  a  moment,  Mrs.  Revelly  broke  in.  Not  very 
courageously,  she  said :  "  Hagar,  show  your  father 
some  respect." 

1 


2  Hagar  Revelly 

They  went  on  with  their  meal.  Eman  Revelly  sat 
stolidly  in  his  chair,  not  eating,  the  while  he  nervously 
fingered  the  blue  table  cloth. 

Suddenly  his  face  reddened  to  a  higher  color,  he  put 
his  fingers  to  his  moustache,  irrelevantly  turning  the 
ends,  and  at  last  with  great  emotion,  when  it  seemed  that 
everyone  else  was  wrought  up  to  his  pitch  of  excitement, 
he  spoke. 

"  Gott,  I  can't  stand  this,  I  tell  you.  What  is  it  here? 
Am  I  a  stranger  in  my  own  house? "  He  turned  to 
Thatah,  the  older  daughter.  "  You  see,"  he  went  on ; 
"  they  sit  there,  silently,  as  if  I  were  a  stranger." 

"  Father,"  begged  Thatah. 

Her  beseeching  tone  only  brought  added  argument. 
"  No,  Thatah,  it  is  of  no  use.  I  have  noticed  them  for 
a  long  time.  I've  only  not  said  anything." 

Turning  upon  his  wife,  who  was  with  precision  dipping 
her  spoon  into  an  egg  cup,  he  shouted  again: 

"  Am  I  a  stranger  in  my  own  house  ?  " 

Mrs.  Revelly  remained  silent,  shrinking  from  his  angry 
words  by  bowing  her  head  a  little  more  and  drawing  to- 
gether her  shoulders. 

He  flashed,  even  more  angrily :     "  Tell  me." 

At  last  she  looked  up  at  him. 

"Oh,  Eman,  are  we  to  have  another  scene?"  Then, 
turning  to  Hagar,  she  said  quietly.  "  Hagar,  dear, 
ring  for  some  more  coffee." 

Her  manner,  nonchalant,  disdainful,  whimsical,  though 
done  by  a  forced  effort,  only  aroused  Revelly  to  greater 
fury.  He  asked  why  it  was  that  after  many  requests, 
Fanny  should  disregardedly  come  tramping  into  the 
house  long  past  midnight,  disturbing  him  and  unfitting 
him  for  rehearsal  the  next  day. 

"  Listen,"  he  said,  as  he  pointed  toward  his  wife,  his 
anger  most  visible  upon  his  queer,  squinting  face.  "  I 


Hagar  Revelly  3 

want  you  to  have  her  in  this  house  every  night,  at  no 
later  than  ten-thirty." 

Revelly  turned  to  his  food  for  the  first  time.  In  his 
manner  was  the  apparent  understanding  that  nothing 
more  remained  to  be  said.  But  Mrs.  Revelly  surprised 
him  by  replying :  "  Eman,  Fanny  will  come  in  —  when 
she  pleases." 

This  indifference  and  reply  gave  the  musician  a  new 
shock.  He  turned  pale,  his  hands  trembled,  as  his  mind 
searched  for  an  answer;  while  the  listening  Fanny,  in 
emphasis  of  the  secret  understanding  that  existed  be- 
tween her  mistress  and  herself,  gave  a  laugh  that  re- 
sounded through  the  open  door  and  flaunted  its  insolence 
into  his  face. 

For  a  moment  Revelly  glared  at  his  wife,  then  he  broke 
out  furiously.  "  It's  a  shame  that  a  characterless 
woman  like  that  servant  should  have  a  place  in  my 
house." 

The  vehemence  in  his  manner  and  voice  startled  afresh 
the  three  grouped  at  the  table;  though  he  immediately 
quieted  down  and  showed  a  sign  of  regret,  more  to 
Thatah  than  anyone  else,  by  mumbling :  "  I  spoke  has- 
tily. Let  us  eat."  The  noisy  staccato  that  his  knife 
played  upon  the  saucer  of  his  coffee  cup,  betrayed  the 
temper  that  was  surging  through  him. 

For  a  time  it  seemed  that  a  lull  had  come  in  the  storm 
of  this  quarrel-ridden  family.  Thatah  went  on  eating, 
her  face  remaining  changeless,  though  seemingly  ex- 
pectant of  the  outburst  which  she  knew  by  long  experi- 
ence would  soon  come  from  her  mother's  lips;  while  the 
fifteen-year-old  Hagar,  not  quite  understanding  the 
strange  words  of  her  father,  sat  up,  more  interested, 
with  her  brown  eyes  wide  open  and  her  lips  apart.  She 
even  feared  her  mother  had  been  silenced. 

But  uena  Revelly  soon  answered  him,  and  all  the  con- 


4  Hagar  Revelly 

summated  feeling  of  rebellion,  stifled  from  his  first  words, 
came  angrily  from  her. 

"  Eman,  you  show  how  low  and  common  you  are.  It 
proves  to  Hagar  what  I  have  long  ago  told  her." 

Arising  from  her  chair,  she  went  into  the  narrow  hall 
that  separated  the  bedroom  from  the  dining  room  and 
kitchen. 

The  musician  quickly  followed  her. 

"  You  have  hinted  that  before,"  he  exclaimed,  as  he 
reached  her  side.  "  Now,  tell  me  what  you  mean !  " 

She  looked  at  him  steadily,  even  fearlessly  for  an  in- 
stant. Then  she  burst  out :  "  You  are  a  common  man, 
Eman,  and  I  hate  you." 

"  Remember  what  you  are  saying,"  he  interrupted, 
grasping  her  arm,  as  if  to  awaken  her  to  more  caution. 

But  now  she  continued  defiantly :  "  Oh,  I  know  what 
I'm  saying.  Yes,  I  know.  The  quarrels  and  bickering 
have  gone  on  for  too  many  years  as  it  is.  Eman,  I'm 
tired  of  it.  I'm  tired  of  it  whether  you  are  or  not.  And 
you  don't  have  to  blame  Fanny  for  it  either." 

"  Rena,  what  are  you  saying?  " 

She  continued,  though  more  slowly  now.  "  I  mean 
what  I  say,  Eman;  it  was  I  who  came  in  at  midnight, 
last  night." 

"You!" 

"  Yes." 

His  anger  had  changed  into  apprehension. 

"What  were  you  doing  —  out  —  Rena?  For  God's 
sake,  what  do  you  mean  ?  " 

At  first  Mrs.  Revelly  started  to  answer  him  directly. 
Then  she  choked  off  the  words  nearly  formed.  "  Oh,  I 
just  got  sick  of  the  stuffy  room.  I  went  over  to  the 
park.  That's  all." 

Revelly  was  too  much  astonished  to  comprehend.  For 
a  moment  he  could  only  regard  her  with  an  expression 


Hagar  Revelly  5 

full  of  bewilderment.  After  a  time  he  said,  as  he  studied 
her :  "  Rena,  I  can't  understand  you.  Are  you  play- 
ing with  me?  What  is  the  matter?  Why  do  you  de- 
liberately allow  me  to  get  in  this  state,  then,  without  giv- 
ing me  some  word  that  would  right  it?  Oh,  I  can't  make 
you  out." 

There  was  a  smile  half  defiant,  half  tender,  on  Mrs. 
Revelly's  face  as  she  answered  him. 

"  Well,  Eman,  there  isn't  so  much  to  make  out.  It's 
only  that  I'm  sick  of  it,  sick  of  everything  —  the  com- 
mon way  we  live  —  of  you,  the  house,  this  neighborhood." 
She  seemed  roused  again.  "  Yes,  I  am  just  so  sick  of 
it,  I  can't  stand  it.  I  can't  look  at  you  any  more,  either. 
Oh,  I  wish  —  I  wish  —  you'd  leave  me,  get  a  divorce, 
anything.  I  can't  go  on  the  way  it  is." 

Revelly's  hands  dropped  to  his  side.  Often  before,  in 
the  twenty  years  of  their  married  life,  she  had  puzzled 
him  by  her  queer  efforts  at  refinement  and  elegance 
amidst  their  squalor.  Often  indeed,  she  had  shown  him 
that  she  felt  a  distinct  barrier  of  breeding  separated 
them.  By  looks  and  gesture  she  had  many  times  con- 
veyed to  him  the  understanding  that  she  felt  herself  su- 
perior to  him  and  her  environment.  Through  all  their 
years  of  strife  and  quarrels,  he  had  noticed  this  in  many 
ways,  yet  never  before  had  she  so  directly  worded  this 
feeling. 

The  musician  was  indeed  unnerved.  His  hands  shook 
as  he  glared  at  her,  his  lips  trembled  as  he  tried  to 
speak,  while  through  his  thoughts  was  running  again  and 
again,  "  Mein  ungliick  —  mein  ungliick." 

For  a  full  minute  they  stood  motionless.  The  tension 
was  at  last  ended  by  the  woman  suddenly  going  into  her 
bedroom  and  the  husband  returning  to  the  breakfast 
table. 


CHAPTER  II 

Mas.  REVELLY  had  not  been  in  her  room  for  very  long 
before  she  became  overwhelmed  by  the  situation. 

And  then  realizing  for  perhaps  the  first  time,  what 
might  happen  from  her  hasty  words,  she  rushed  back  to 
Fanny  in  the  kitchen  and  with  imploring  voice,  which 
surprised  the  fat  servant,  begged  her  to  go  into  the  din- 
ing  room  and  send  Eman  to  her. 

Like  a  child  who  awaited  punishment,  Mrs.  Revelly 
stole  back  to  the  bedroom  and  waited. 

In  those  few  minutes  she  caught  an  impression,  em- 
phatic and  strong,  full  of  detail  — her  first  few  years 
with  Eman,  the  prospect  she  had  dreamed  of,  that  had 
never  come  true  —  the  total  failure  of  her  union  with 
this  weak-minded  musician-husband. 

As  she  sat  rocking  in  the  chair,  she  saw  her  own  face 
again,  very  beautiful,  as  people  had  told  her,  when  she 
was  young.  The  time  of  Thatah's  birth  came  before 
her.  She  was  in  bed  —  dreaming,  full  of  confidence  in 
the  oncoming  period  of  expectancy  —  langourously 
dreaming  of  blue  skies  and  mysterious  forests,  ready 
for  the  gypsy-like  passage  with  her  lover  along  the 
mountain  highway,  soothed  by  the  music  of  nicking 
goats  and  the  muffled  echo  of  waterfalls. 

And  she  remembered  how  she  had  awakened  soon  after 
with  amazement,  to  find  that  her  lover  husband,  with 
whom  she  had  shared  the  deep  shaded  ravines,  was  not 
the  curly,  black-haired  Apollo,  but  a  little  German  stu- 
dent, with  hesitating  manners  and  a  bald  head. 

Eman  was  in  the  doorway  now,  with  Thatah  at  his 


Hagar  Revelly  7 

back.  From  the  look  in  his  grey  eyes  she  knew  his  anger 
had  not  abated. 

"  You  have  sent  for  me,"  he  said,  coldly. 

She  looked  up  at  him,  hardly  aroused  from  the  con- 
templation of  her  past :  "  Yes,  Eman  —  I've  sent  for 
you." 

He  said  steadily:     "Well,  what  is  it?" 

"  I  —  I  wanted  to  talk  over,  Eman,  what  I  — " 

He  interrupted  her.  "  There  is  nothing  to  talk  over. 
You've  told  me  the  truth.  You  don't  care  any  more. 
You  haven't  for  a  long  while." 

For  a  full  minute  he  paused.  Then  his  words  came 
mingled  with  anguish  and  self-pity. 

"  You  think  it  is  nothing.  You  don't  see  what  a  time 
I  have  had  of  it,  struggling  from  morning  to  night  with 
the  orchestra  and  the  pupils,  my  heart  torn  to  pieces  by 
such  rotten  drudgery." 

His  short  stocky  figure  trembled,  while  Thatah,  who 
had  been  standing  by  in  the  hallway,  came  into  the  room 
murmuring,  "  Oh,  father,  please,  please  — " 

But  he  went  on  resolutely.  "  You've  never  realized 
that  you  might  have  combined  with  me.  You  have  never 
given  a  thought  to  the  fact  that  I  was  quenching  all 
my  ambitions  just  to  support  you.  No,  a  woman  like 
you  never  thinks  of  that.  Have  you  ever  prayed  for  my 
happiness  ?  I  ask  you  that,  have  you  ?  "  He  gazed  at 
her  pityingly.  "  Oh,  if  you  only  understood,"  he  cried. 

Then  his  voice  died  down.  "  Always  telling  me  what 
you  are  giving  up,  what  you  might  have  had.  Yes,  it 
isn't  the  slip  you  made  that  has  decided  me.  It's  your 
attitude ;  it  has  become  more  intense  with  each  day  that 
has  passed  since  the  time  I  was  compelled  to  take  pupils 
and  give  up  concert  work. 

'  Yes,  as  long  as  you  had  dreams  and  thought  there 
was  a  possible  chance  of  my  becoming  known  and  making 


8  Hagar  Revelly 

money,  you  stayed  by  me.  But  ever  since  that  possi- 
bility has  passed  away,  you've  lost  all  interest  in  me  or 
my  work." 

He  walked  over  and  sat  in  a  chair  by  the  window. 

"  Why,  every  time  I've  looked  at  you,"  he  went  on, 
"  the  feeling  has  gnawed  at  my  heart  that  you  gloried 
in  the  fact  that  things  were  not  going  well.  I  know. 
Other  women  in  your  position  take  a  pleasure  in  sewing 
or  mending.  They  want  to  be  of  some  help ;  with  you  — 
it  is  always  Fanny  —  Fanny  this,  Fanny  that  —  isn't  it 
true?  Yesterday  my  socks  weren't  mates;  but  could  I 
tell  my  wife?  You  don't  take  any  pains  about  the  house 
—  always  Fanny.  The  meals  are  terrible,  always  the 
same  —  warmed-over  bread,  lough  dry  meats.  Yes,  you 
don't  care.  That's  it  —  you  don't  care  .  .  .  And 
I  have  always  given  in  to  you.  First,  it  was  too  much 
music  for  you;  then  I  must  even  give  up  Catholicism  to 
please  you. 

"  Oh,  I've  watched  you.  You  decided  that  since  I  was 
unhappy  it  was  of  no  use  for  you  to  be  so,  and  you've 
gradually  gone  on  with  this  reasoning  until  you  actually 
have  come  to  feel  yourself  a  thing  apart  from  our 
troubles.  It's  been  all  wrong  from  the  beginning.  You 
have  no  understanding  of  me.  And  it  has  made  me  suf- 
fer, I  tell  you,  suffer  deeply  a  long  while  ago." 

As  he  went  on  there  came  the  words  that  made  her 
clutch  at  the  arm  of  her  chair  for  support. 

"  I'll  get  you  a  lawyer,"  he  said.  "  We  will  live  sep- 
arately. Thatah  will  come  with  me  and  you  will  take 
Hagar." 

Mrs.  Revelly  might  have  been  able  to  persuade  herself 
that  what  she  needed  was  firmness,  or  she  might  have 
thought  that  a  few  soft  words  would  repair  the  situa- 
tion. But  when  she  perceived  his  deep,  throbbing 
anguish  and  heard  him  pass  sentence  on  her,  something 


Hagar  Revdly  0> 

filled  her  throat  and  stopped  her  breathing  and  her  eyes 
became  moist  with  tears. 

It  was  so  plain  how  he  hated  her.  She  had  suspected 
it  for  months,  had  noticed  it  in  his  treatment  of  Hagar, 
in  his  sullen  greetings  in  the  morning.  But  now  it  was 
a  truth  and  not  a  suspicion.  Every  prop  had  been  torn 
away  from  her.  She  was  to  be  left  alone,  with  Hagar! 

Revelly  arose  from  his  chair  and  walked  into  the  hall. 

"  Eman,"  she  cried  after  him,  "  for  Heaven's  sake 
think  of  Hagar.  She  is  not  to  blame." 

With  the  thought  that  he  could  not  be  so  cruel  with 
her  touch  on  his  arm,  she  went  nearer  to  him.  And  it 
was  with  some  satisfaction  that  she  saw  him  hesitate. 
The  tension  in  his  face  seemed  lessened,  the  cruelty 
seemed  to  have  passed  from  his  eyes  and  she  thought  she 
had  really  aroused  his  pity.  Immediately  all  her 
strength  was  used  to  calm  him.  She  began  pleading, 
begging,  beseeching  him  to  consider  more  deeply  the  po- 
sition into  which  she  would  be  thrown  should  he  take  this 
final  step. 

"  Why,  it  is  even  wrong  for  you  to  talk  like  this, 
Eman,"  she  argued.  "  You  must  think  of  Hagar.  I 
don't  care  what  you  do  with  me,  but  you  still  have  an 
obligation  to  the  child,  Eman." 

Not  knowing  how  she  exasperated  him  whenever  she 
assumed  this  role  of  meekness,  she  looked  up  into  his 
face,  even  more  ardently  imploring  and  submissive. 
Ignorantly  she  thought  this  would  be  the  only  manner 
of  holding  him. 

But  he  listened  to  her  words  with  gathering  impa- 
tience. When  she  had  finished,  he  said :  "  We  have 
gone  over  the  entire  situation,  Rena,  and  I  cannot  see, 
that  anything  can  be  gained  by  talking  about  it.  It 
wouldn't  be  long  before  everything  would  be  just  as  bad 
again.  No,  it  is  best  that  we  part." 


10  Hagar  Revelly 

Taking  Thatah  by  the  arm  he  pushed  her  ahead  of 
him  through  the  doorway. 

Mrs.  Revelly  was  overcome.  She  waited  until  she  saw 
them  turn  at  the  head  of  the  hall.  Then  she  moved  rest- 
lessly from  the  door  to  her  dressing  table,  brushed  some 
powder  over  her  throat  and  cheeks,  and  again  over  to 
the  window;  walking  back  and  forth  with  tears  brim- 
ming over  onto  her  haggard  face  and  moans  of  despair 
escaping  from  her  lips. 

Suddenly  Hagar  burst  in  on  her,  crying: 

"  Oh,  mother,  he  was  cruel  to  you  again,  wasn't  he?  " 

Mrs.  Revelly  silently  took  the  girl  in  her  arms  and 
hugged  her.  Their  faces  were  close  together  and  the 
great  tears  that  welled  into  both  their  eyes,  mingled  and 
ran  down  the  mother's  cheeks. 

"  Dear  baby,  you  are  another  one  of  me,"  she  whis- 
pered into  the  girl's  ears.  "  I  only  pray  that  you  will 
have  an  easier  lot." 

The  child  was  perplexed. 

"  Why,  what's  the  matter,  mother  ? "  she  asked. 
"  Isn't  everything  all  right  now  ?  " 

The  mother  turned  away.  "  Oh,  you  poor  kiddie," 
she  moaned. 

"  But  isn't  everything  all  right  now?  "  persisted  the 
child.  "  Isn't  it,  mother  ?  I  thought  he  was  only  mean 
again." 

Mrs.  Revelly  sank  down  on  the  edge  of  her  bed,  sigh- 
ing :  "  Oh,  you  don't  understand,  Hagar." 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  do,  I  listened  to  everything,  and  I  am  so 
sorry  you  are  unhappy,  mother  dear." 

Leaning  over  her,  the  girl  threw  her  arms  about  her 
mother's  neck  and  kissed  her  very  delicately  once  or 
twice.  Then,  framing  the  woman's  sad  face  with  her 
little  hands,  she  said : 


Hagar  Revelly  11' 

"  Isn't  everything  all  right  ?  You  must  tell  me, 
mother." 

"  Please,  dearie,  don't  — "  begged  the  woman. 

And  Hagar,  after  regarding  her  mother  for  some  time, 
exclaimed  perplexedly :  "  Oh,  you're  so  funny,  mother. 
I  don't  understand  you." 


CHAPTER  III 

THE  essential  part  of  Mrs.  Revelly's  make-up  was  a  de- 
sire to  live  true  to  her  impulses,  and  in  Hagar  this  qual- 
ity was  now  acting  in  its  first  guise.  It  made  of  her  a 
dreamer,  P  quaint  child  of  nature,  and  gave  to  her  no 
understanding  except  that  which  came  through  her  emo- 
tions and  impulses. 

Having  left  school  at  the  age  of  twelve,  for  no  appar- 
ent reason  other  than  that  of  disinclination  on  her  part, 
and  lack  of  control  on  the  part  of  her  mother,  her  little 
mind  dealt  only  in  simple  material.  She  became  a  wan- 
dering, romantic,  open-eyed  little  person,  whose  chief 
characteristic  was  an  inordinate  sense  of  affection  for 
those  whom  she  loved. 

Hagar  had  many  queer  little  ways.  When  the  soft, 
low  call  of  wintry  winds  came  down  from  the  north,  she 
would  stand  by  the  window  and  gaze  out,  her  mind 
wrapped  in  conjecture,  her  heart's  spirit  taking  wing 
with  the  cold  blast.  Wandering  with  it,  she  would  listen 
to  its  bluster  and  fury,  and  again  to  its  quieting  rhythm, 
as  if  she  were  the  traveller  instead  of  the  tiny  white  flakes 
of  snow  outside  the  frosted  panes  —  as  if  the  storm  and 
the  wind  were  her  express  train  to  some  unknown  magical 
land. 

When  the  summers  came,  and  the  sunlight  was  warm 
and  the  shadows  mysterious,  she  would  look  out  of  the 
window,  with  her  eyes  staring,  her  mind  yearning  and 
dreaming,  as  the  seductive  warmth  penetrated  into  every 
fibre  of  her  body.  At  these  times  her  mind  would  carry 

her  off  on  the  enticing  breezes  to  some  new  land,  a  little 

12 


Hagar  Revelly  13 

dream-isle,  where  everything  was  golden-colored  and 
sweet-scented. 

And  now,  though  the  quarrel  between  her  parents 
rather  bewildered  her,  still  she  took  a  keen  interest  in  the 
dissolution  of  their  household,  all  that  day  wandering 
about  the  house,  watching  and  noting  the  changes  that 
had  taken  place.  She  observed,  with  almost  pleasurable 
curiosity,  her  mother's  semi-hysteria  and  the  sad,  sub- 
missive expression  on  Thatah's  countenance.  Only 
gradually,  the  strange  action  of  the  family  brought  home 
to  her  the  really  serious  aspect  of  what  had  happened. 
Early  in  the  afternoon,  when  she  met  Thatah  in  the  hall- 
way and  dropped  into  the  broad  seat  of  the  hat  rack, 
thinking  her  sister  would  stop  for  a  word  with  her,  Tha- 
tah passed  on,  never  lifting  her  saddened  eyes.  And 
again,  when  she  met  her  father,  he  seemed  too  preoc- 
cupied even  to  notice  her. 

All  this  began  to  bother  her  considerably,  though 
strangely  she  felt  no  grief.  It  was  more  a  feeling  of  in- 
terest that  stirred  her,  and  only  the  idea  that  she  was 
neither  taking  part  in  the  family  tragedy,  nor  feeling  it, 
seemed  to  trouble  her. 

It  made  her  feel  somewhat  ashamed  and  guilty  when 
she  saw  Thatah  so  sad.  Once,  she  stopped  in  front  of 
the  mirror  and  tried  to  cry,  in  an  effort  to  take  her  share 
of  the  unhappiness.  It  was  of  no  use.  Something  new 
was  happening  and  she  could  only  feel  queerly  pleased. 

But  toward  evening  the  gloom  of  the  house  and  her 
loneliness  commenced  to  take  hold  of  her  mood  and  she 
really  became  immeasurably  sad. 

When  the  dusk  had  already  settled,  she  went  into  her 
own  little  room  and  closed  the  door.  In  this  manner  she 
thought  she  would  shut  out  the  silence,  which  had  grad- 
ually become  intolerable.  Fanny  called  her  at  supper 
time,  but  she  would  not  go.  Sitting  mutely  by  the  win- 


14  Ha  gar  Revelly 

dow,  she  saw  the  stars  come  out,  and  then  the  dim  moon. 

Looking  out  into  the  darkness,  Hagar  began  to  think, 
for  quite  the  first  time,  of  the  reason  for  all  the  trouble. 
She  thought  of  her  father  and  she  wondered  why  it  was 
that  Thatah  was  unkind  to  her.  She  felt  that  she  liked 
Thatah  well  enough.  She  thought  she  would  have  liked 
to  say  to  Thatah :  "  Thatah,  why  is  it  we  don't  get 
along  together?  Why  do  you  avoid  me  and  look  so 
funny  when  I  talk  to  you?  " 

Until  a  big  clock  in  the  distance  struck  two,  Hagar 
sat  at  the  window  childishly  wondering  what  would  be  the 
outcome  of  the  whole  affair.  Her  mind  seemed  to  be 
whirling  about,  and  as  she  looked  into  darkness  the  trees 
and  lamp-posts  seemed  to  take  on  all  sorts  of  grotesque 
shapes. 

She  became  even  a  little  frightened,  but  would  not 
stop  from  brooding.  There  seemed  so  much  that  needed 
solution,  so  much  to  think  about.  And  then,  too,  al- 
though she  had  twice  lain  down  on  her  bed,  as  much  to 
find  a  refuge  from  the  gruesomeness  of  the  night  as  for 
rest's  sake,  she  could  not  sleep. 

"  I  can't  stand  it,"  she  exclaimed,  suddenly  pulling 
down  the  blind.  There  was  already  peeping  up  from  the 
eastern  sky  a  faint  suggestion  of  dawn. 

So,  silent  and  stiff,  Hagar  rose  and  stole  to  Thatah's 
door. 

Though  she  did  not  at  all  mean  to  do  this,  she  found 
herself  knocking  lightly.  Immediately  she  began  to  wish 
that  Thatah  had  not  heard,  and  her  hand,  as  it  lay  on 
the  door  knob,  was  cold  and  trembling. 

But  Thatah's  voice  inquired:     "Who  is  it?" 

"  It's  me  —  Hagar,"  the  child  answered  shakily. 

"  What  do  you  want?  " 

"  Let  me  in,  Thatah,  I  want  to  see  you." 


Hagar  Revelly  15 

How  she  wished  she  had  not  knocked!  Surely,  how- 
ever, after  all  the  quarrels,  Thatah  would  not  let  her  in. 

But  Thatah  replied :  "  Wait  a  minute,  Hagar ;  the 
door  is  locked." 

Hagar  heard  the  bare  feet  come  across  the  floor  and 
the  sound  of  the  turning  key.  Then  — "  Come  in, 
Hagar." 

She  went  in.  Thatah  was  back  in  bed.  By  her  side 
was  a  lamp  turned  quite  high  and  an  opened  book  lay  on 
the  little  stand  by  her  side. 

"What's  the  matter?"  asked  Thatah. 

Her  light  hair  hung  in  profusion  about  her  shoulders. 
Her  face  was  pale.  But  she  appeared  very  kind  and 
somehow  Hagar  felt  a  desire  to  cry,  and  explain  how 
lonesome  she  was  and  how  scared  she  felt  sitting  by  the 
window. 

"  Oh,  sister,  I  don't  know  what's  the  matter.  Why  is 
everything  so  awful?  " 

"  You  think  everything  is  awful,  Hagar,"  replied  Tha- 
tah, studying  the  soft  face.  "  I  didn't  know  you  felt  it 
so  much." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know,"  answered  Hagar  vaguely.  "  But 
I  do  feel  terribly  unhappy.  I  never  felt  so  nervous  and 
funny  before.  Why  does  all  this  trouble  have  to  come, 
Thatah?" 

"  Because  our  parents  are  unhappy  together,  I  sup- 
pose." 

Hagar  gave  an  impetuous  toss  of  her  head  that 
brought  the  heavy  black  hair  around  to  her  breasts. 

"  Oh,  they  oughtn't  to  do  it  now,  anyway,"  she  ex- 
claimed. "  It's  father's  fault.  Why  doesn't  he  be  dif- 
ferent? He's  so  queer  and  acts  so  funny."  She  looked 
at  Thatah  with  wide  open  eyes.  "  You  know  that  every- 
body says  he's  so  wrapped  up  in  his  work  that  he  neg- 


16  Hagar  Revelly 

lects  mother.     Now,  what  will  they  say?     And  then,  I 
was  to  have  gone  to  a  dance  to-night." 

Thatah  smiled.  "  Can't  you  go  some  other  night, 
dearie?  " 

"  Oh,  it  isn't  that."  Hagar  rose  and  walked  across 
the  room. 

After  a  moment  she  sat  down  again  on  the  edge  of  the 
bed. 

"  You  know  that  father  has  been  mean  to  mother.  I 
have  seen  him  twice  strike  her.  You  know  that,  too.  I 
guess  father  is  crazy  the  way  everybody  says." 

Thatah  searched  the  round,  white  face,  asking  herself 
again  and  again  if  she  should  explain  the  situation  to 
Hagar.  Then  she  decided. 

"  Hagar,"  she  began,  "  mother  is  a  queer  woman.  I 
know  this  better  than  you ;  and  she's  selfish,  too  —  and 
afraid  of  growing  old.  Father's  different  —  he's 
worked  hard.  His  ambition  was  to  become  a  famous  mu- 
sician. Why,  he  might  have,"  she  looked  up  with  her 
eyes  wide  awake,  "  if  he  hadn't  been  compelled  to  support 
us.  You  see,  mother  doesn't  think  of  this.  She  never 
thinks  he  is  really  a  great  man.  Mother  only  believes 
what  other  people  say  about  him. 

"  Have  you  ever  heard  him  play  when  he  was  alone  ?  " 
she  asked,  more  quietly.  "  I  have,  and  that's  the  reason 
I  know  just  how  he  feels.  His  music  cries,  Hagar,  be- 
cause when  he  plays  it  is  the  only  time  he  expresses  his 
real  feelings.  Oh,  you  don't  know  how  wonderful  he  is !  " 

"  Oh,  Thatah !  "  the  younger  girl  cried,  astonished. 

So,  Thatah  was  unhappy,  too  —  calm,  superior  Tha- 
tah. Hagar  noticed  how  nervously  her  sister  brushed 
back  the  hair  that  hung  over  her  eyes,  how  her  thin 
fingers  clutched  intermittently  at  the  roll  in  the  sheet. 
She  was  more  struck  at  her  sister's  vehemence  than  bj 
what  her  sister  said. 


Hagar  Revelly  17 

For  some  time  they  sat  in  silence. 

Then  Hagar  spoke.  "  Well,  perhaps  that's  all  true," 
she  said  restlessly.  "  But  I  know  it's  father's  fault  this 
time." 

"  It  is  mother's  fault,  Hagar,"  Thatah  answered 
quickly.  "  She  doesn't  think,  nor  care." 

"  You  mean  that  mother  is  the  one  that  is  causing  all 
this  trouble?" 

"Yes,  Hagar." 

"  Oh,  I  just  can't  understand  you  at  all." 

Thatah  took  hold  of  the  child's  dainty  little  hands  and 
held  them  out  in  front  of  her,  as  if  comparing  them  with 
her  own. 

At  last  she  said  softly :  "  I  guess  I  must  tell  you, 
Hagar."  She  hesitated,  then  went  on  slowly.  "  Well, 
mother  does  not  love  him.  She  loves  some  one  else." 

"Why,  Thatah!"  gasped  Hagar. 

"  Think,  dearie,"  whispered  Thatah. 

Then  Hagar  started,  as  if  given  a  new  understanding. 
"Oh,  you  mean  Mr.  Nealy,  don't  you?  Oh,  no,"  she 
cried  on,  emphatically.  "  You  are  mistaken,  Thatah. 
He  is  as  fond  of  me  as  he  is  of  mother.  I  know  that." 

"  Dearie,  you  don't  know  everything,"  replied  Thatah, 
grasping  her  sister's  hands  again. 

"  Well,  I  know  enough." 

Hagar  was  stretched  alongside  of  Thatah  now,  with 
her  hands  under  her  head  and  her  face  to  the  ceiling,  but 
when  Thatah  said  that  the  mother  was  tired  of  their  pov- 
erty and  wanted  to  look  pretty  for  Mr.  Nealy,  she  sat 
upright,  determined  upon  making  an  answer  which  would 
convince  Thatah  that  she  was  in  the  wrong.  She  tried 
to  arrange  her  thoughts  so  that  she  could  strike  on  some 
incident,  or  occurrence,  which  could  prove  this.  Then 
she  thrust  out: 

"  You  don't  like  me,  Thatah,  that's  it.     You  know  you 


18  Hagar  Revelly 

don't.  That's  why  you  say  these  things  about  mother. 
It's  because  you  know  it  hurts  me  when  you  speak  of  her 
that  way.  Well,  it's  not  my  fault  that  people  think  I 
am  pretty,  or  take  me  out.  If  you'd  take  better  care  of 
your  clothes  and  be  more  agreeable,  they'd  ask  you  too. 
You're  jealous  of  me.  That's  the  reason.  Oh,  mother 
has  told  me." 

Thatah's  ire  was  only  slightly  aroused  by  Hagar's  out- 
burst. 

"  Hagar,  you  don't  know.  And  it's  no  use  for  us  to 
quarrel.  I  am  really  happy  when  I  see  you  happy. 
Then,  I  don't  get  fun  out  of  the  things  you  do.  I  guess 
that's  the  whole  thing.  Anyway,  I  couldn't  go  out  and 
leave  father  alone  all  the  time." 

"  But  why  doesn't  he  go  with  mother?  "  Hagar  inter- 
rupted. "  She  would  be  lonesome,  too,  if  she  was  as 
foolish  as  he  is." 

With  a  sudden  determination  to  explain  away  the  en- 
tire situation,  Thatah  sat  upright  in  bed.  For  only  an 
instant  she  faltered,  wondering  if  she  was  doing  right  by 
exposing  the  secret  which  had  so  long  rankled  within 
her. 

"  I  am  going  to  tell  you  straight,  Hagar,"  she  began, 
her  eyes  blazing,  her  hands  clenched  tightly  together. 
"  Yes,  I  am  going  to  tell  you,  tell  you  what  everyone 
knows.  Only  they  don't  tell  you,  because  you  are  too 
young.  I  guess  I  wouldn't  tell  you  myself  but  that  it  is 
all  over  now.  I've  gone  to  mother  and  begged  and 
begged  her,  but  it's  never  been  of  any  use.  Sometimes, 
I  wanted  to  tell  father  but  I  didn't  dare. 

"  Well,  I've  watched  them  go  out  together,  Hagar. 
Yes,  mother  and  Mr.  Nealy.  I've  seen  her  come  in  late 
at  night  with  rouge  on  her  lips  and  black  plaster  on  her 
cheeks." 

Thatah  could  not  control  herself.     She  went  on,  tell- 


Hagar  Revelly  19 

ing  all  the  things  of  which  Hagar  had  been  so  igno- 
rant. 

"  You  are  pretty,  Hagar,  and  everyone  loves  you.  I 
know  they  don't  care  for  me,  because  I  am  silent  and 
don't  go  a  lot  with  them.  But  I'm  not  jealous  of  you. 
All  along  I've  only  wanted  somebody  to  tell  things  to. 
Don't  you  think  I've  suffered  when  I  didn't  have  anyone 
to  confide  in?  Why,  I've  worried  about  myself,  too,  and 
have  wondered  a  lot  of  times,  why  it  was  that  I  was  so 
different.  I  suppose  it  is  because  I  am  the  only  one  who 
knows  about  the  real  cause  of  this  trouble.  And  yet, 
even  at  that,  I  always  blame  myself  for  being  the  way  I 
am.  Yes,  I  blame  myself  and  never  have  anyone  to  tell 
me  that  I'm  wrong." 

She  continued  earnestly: 

"  Look  at  my  hands.  Look  how  thin  they  are.  I'm 
not  yet  twenty  and  yet  I  look  lots  older,  and  people  think 
I'm  queer  like  father."  She  appeared  to  be  talking  more 
to  herself.  "  And  all  the  time  I've  been  wanting  and 
begging  for  some  one  to  whom  I  could  tell  the  real  cause 
of  my  being  that  way.  Yes,  mother  knows  why  I  am  so 
unhappy,  but  she  only  thinks  of  herself." 

As  Thatah  went  on  she  forgot  Hagar's  presence  en- 
tirely and  that  of  her  mother  in  the  next  room.  Talk- 
ing spontaneously,  she  let  out  the  words  that  had  been 
stored  and  accumulated. 

"  I  couldn't  tell  father.  So  it  has  become  as  if  I  was 
choking  down  a  secret  that  some  day  would  be  bigger 
than  I  could  hold.  Sometimes  I  wanted  him  to  know  it. 
But  I  would  see  him  coming  home  at  night  tired  and 
worried.  So  I  would  go  on  to  the  next  time,  choking  it 
down." 

'*  You  don't  mean  that  mother  is  a  bad  woman,  do  you, 
Thatah?  "  Hagar  asked. 

"  Yes,  sister,"  came  the  reluctant  answer. 


20  Hagar  Revelly 

Hagar  rose  quickly  now  from  where  she  had  seated 
herself. 

"  Oh,  I've  had  enough  of  this,"  she  burst  out  angrily. 
"  You're  lying  —  you're  lying  —  and  I  won't  talk  to 

you." 

Hagar  ran  from  the  room,  and  on  reaching  her  own 
bed,  buried  her  head  deep  in  the  pillows.  Her  heart 
ached  bitterly.  Thatah  was  abusing  her  mother.  How 
Thatah  had  talked.  What  lies  she  had  told  about  her 
mother  and  about  her.  She  would  never  believe  them. 
Mr.  Nealy  was  an  old  friend.  He  only  took  her  mother 
out  walking  and  saw  her  so  often  because  he  felt  sorry 
for  her,  sorry  for  the  way  her  father  neglected  her. 
Then,  hadn't  she  heard  her  father  say  often  enough  that 
he  had  no  time  "  to  waste  "  on  going  out  ? 

Hagar  thought  on  deeply,  asking  herself  again  and 
again  if  there  could  be  some  chance  that  Thatah  was 
right.  Over  the  entire  ground  she  fought  her  way,  bat- 
tling against  the  accusation,  point  by  point,  endeavoring 
to  convince  herself  of  its  absolute  untruth. 

And  then,  gradually,  in  one  way  or  another,  she  became 
bewildered,  one  minute  being  absolutely  sure  of  her  con- 
victions and  the  next  confronted  by  some  shadow  of 
doubt,  which  would  not  let  her  rest. 

At  last,  she  saw  that  she  must  confront  her  mother  for 
a  solution,  telling  herself  that  it  was  only  because  the 
mother  would  show  how  wrong  Thatah  was. 

She  was  hardly  past  the  door  when  she  became  greatly 
frightened.  Her  mother  was  lying,  face  buried  in  the 
pillows,  struggling  to  overcome  the  emotions  that  had 
attacked  her  mind  and  body  throughout  the  night.  Her 
hands  were  gathered  about  her  face,  her  sobs  despairing 
and  mournful. 

Hagar  ran  and  knelt  at  the  side  of  the  bed,  her  heart 


Hagar  Revelly  21 

so  torn  by  her  mother's  pitiful  condition  that  she  hardly 
dared  to  speak. 

In  that  moment  she  forgot  all  her  sister's  imputations, 
all  the  merciless  words  that  had  been  poured  into  her 
ears,  and  her  own  argument  that  had  nearly  convinced 
her  of  their  truth.  Remembering  nothing,  neither  rea- 
soning nor  asking  for  explanation,  she  threw  her  arms 
about  the  quaking  body,  crying,  as  she  kissed  the  white 
hands  and  forehead,  "  Mother,  mother,  I  love  you,  I  love 
you.  I  don't  believe  anything  Thatah  told  me." 

But  her  mother  lay  motionless,  and  except  for  the 
deeply  suppressed  sobs  that  escaped  from  her  now  and 
again,  she  gave  no  apparent  recognition  of  Hagar's 
presence,  while  Hagar,  frightened,  kept  on  pleading, 
"  Mother,  she's  lying  and  I  know  it.  Oh,  please  don't 
be  so  sad.  Talk  to  me  —  please." 

Finally  Mrs.  Revelly  uncovered  her  face  and  Hagar 
saw  the  colorless  cheeks  and  the  blood-shot  eyes  that  were 
dry  and  sunken.  It  moved  her  to  kiss  the  woman  again, 
and  repeat :  "  You  know,  mother,  I  don't  believe  it." 

Mrs.  Revelly  raised  herself  in  the  bed  and  tried  to 
speak.  It  was  a  useless  endeavor,  at  first,  and  only  after 
a  time,  after  she  had  seemed  to  call  into  play  every 
muscle  of  her  body,  was  she  able  to  say :  "  Hagar,  what 
your  sister  told  you  —  is  true.  Oh,  I  heard  it  all." 

She  stared  vacantly  at  the  ceiling  as  she  spoke,  lifting 
her  hands  to  her  throat  in  an  effort  to  ease  the  feeling 
that  was  choking  her. 

"  Yes,  Thatah  hasn't  lied,"  she  moaned,  talking 
through  her  dishevelled  hair.  "  Oh,  God  knows  I  am  suf- 
fering enough  for  it."  With  the  words  came  another 
tumult  of  sobs  and  tears. 

Fearing  some  dreadful  end  to  her  mother's  suffering, 
Hagar  crawled  upon  the  bed  and  wrapped  her  arms  about 


22  Hagar  Revelly 

her  mother's  quivering  body.  And  from  an  instinctive 
fear  that  loud  words  might  make  worse  her  mother's  con- 
dition, she  talked  softly,  in  a  hushed  voice. 

"  Don't,  please,  mother,  please  don't  cry,"  she  mur- 
mured again  and  again.  Her  own  throat  was  beginning 
to  twitch  spasmodically. 

But  her  mother  was  not  to  be  quieted,  and  kept  up  a 
continuous,  running,  self-abasement.  "  I  wronged  him, 
Hagar,  I  wronged  him,  and  now  I  am  suffering  for  it." 

"  You  must  be  quiet,  mother,"  implored  Hagar.  "  I 
love  you  and  I  always  will.  I  shall  never  leave  you  but 
will  stay  and  comfort  you.  I  know  how  mean  father  has 
been.  Now,  please  don't  worry  so." 

They  lay  together,  their  arms  entwined,  cheek  against 
cheek,  and  the  mother  whispered :  "  Oh,  my  little  girl, 
how  little  you  know  of  the  world."  With  a  trembling 
hand  she  stroked  back  the  soft  black  hair  of  the  child. 
"  Yes,  if  you  knew,  you  would  not  forgive  me  so  easily." 

Then  she  drew  Hagar  closer.  "  Listen,  child,  my  be- 
loved, I  do  not  care  for  your  father.  I  have  tried  very 
hard,  but  I  can't.  A  kind  word,  even  a  glance  from  him 
cuts  me  like  a  knife.  Oh,  I  tried  so  hard  before  I  gave 
in  to  the  truth  of  it.  And  I  can't,  I  can't.  With  Mr. 
Nealy,  there  is  peace  and  happiness,  Hagar,  but  with 
your  father  .  .  .  Oh,  my  little  girl,  you  will  never 
forgive." 

"  Why,  I  forgive  you  now,  mother,"  cried  Hagar, 
eager  for  her  mother  to  continue. 

And,  as  if  doubting  her,  the  mother  said  again,  "  You 
wouldn't  if  you  understood." 

"  I  do,  I  understand,"  Hagar  answered.  "  And  I  do 
forgive  you.  Why  I'd  just  die  if  I  didn't  have  you. 
We'll  live  together  and  be  quiet  and  happy.  You'll  be 
happy  because  he  won't  bother  you.  You'll  see.  Now 
don't  be  so  miserable." 


Her  simple  pleading  affected  the  mother  deeply.  She 
clasped  Hagar  in  a  tight,  nearly  painful  embrace,  while 
Hagar,  more  encouraged,  went  on: 

''  You  think  I  don't  understand  —  why,  mother,  some- 
times when  I  get  ,to  thinking,  I  dream  such  wonderful 
dreams,  too,  about  living  in  big  houses,  and  having  car- 
riages and  a  lot  of  money  and  people  looking  at  me. 
Sometimes  I  dream  I  am  very  beautiful  and  very  happy 
because  I  can  have  just  everything  I  want.  You  see,  I 
know  how  it  is.  All  I  have  to  do  is  look  around  and  see 
how  awful  everything  is  here  and  how  poor  we  are." 

Mrs.  Revelly  truly  conceived  the  earnestness  of  Ha- 
gar's  confession.  Though  the  child's  words  were  a  mis- 
interpretation of  her  own  mood,  she  felt  it  better  to  let 
Hagar  believe  in  her  dreams.  It  would  do  no  good  to 
tell  her  that  this  misery  was  something  different,  some- 
thing caused  by  the  sorrow  of  guilt.  And  then,  far 
back  in  some  remote  niche  of  her  brain,  was  there  not  this 
same  childish  thought,  lain  dormant  since  youth? 

"  Hagar,  I  am  going  to  tell  you  something,"  she  whis- 
pered into  the  child's  ears.  "  Many  women  go  through 
this  torture  that  I  have  suffered.  They  get  tired  of  a 
dull  life  and  poverty,  but  never  give  in.  That  is,  they 
never  dare,  and  think  they  are  still  good  women  because 
they  haven't  given  in  —  until  some  day  when  they  get  to 
wishing  and  yearning  so  much  they  just  can't  fight  back. 

"  Then  comes  the  blow,  Hagar.  Some  cruel,  mean 
thing,  makes  them  look  in  the  looking-glass,  maybe  while 
they  are  dressing  that  night  —  to  meet  him.  And  they 
see  awful  wrinkles  and  long  grey  hairs. 

"  Well,  it's  all  over  that  minute.  They  see  it's  no  use, 
that  they  have  grown  old.  It  makes  them  feel  very 
ashamed  of  themselves  and  very  foolish,  Hagar,  whenever 
they  think  about  it,  after  that.  And  they  stay  unhappy 
for  a  long  time.  When  they  get  over  it,  they  don't  care 


24  JIagar  Revelly ' 

any  more,  unless  —  they  have  got  some  one  else."  Mrs. 
Revelly  kissed  Hagar  with  deep  affection,  before  she 
went  on.  "  That  is  the  only  thing  will  save  them,"  she 
added  in  a  whisper. 

More  slowly  she  continued: 

"  Dear  child,  I  met  Mr.  Nealy  eight  years  ago,  when 
I  had  no  one  to  care  for  or  that  cared  for  me.  Every-! 
thing  was  so  monotonous  that  I  couldn't  hold  out.  I've 
loved  him  ever  since  I  met  him.  I  love  him  desperately. 
And  it  is  only  because  I  love  him  so  much  that  I  cling  to 
him  —  just  for  that  reason  alone.  For  he  is  as  poor  as 
we  are,  and  cannot  give  me  anything. 

"  At  first,  he  came  to  me  and  needed  a  friend  as  much 
as  I  did.  He  was  trying  hard  to  make  a  living  and  I  was 
only  interested  in  his  ambition.  But  I  began  to  know 
and  understand  him.  ...  I  would  do  anything  in 
the  world  he'd  ask  of  me,  Hagar.  Except  for  you,  he  is 
the  only  one  I  have  to  live  for." 

By  now  Mrs.  Revelly  was  calm  and  lay  along  Hagar's 
side,  her  eyes  gazing  almost  peacefully  at  the  ceiling 
paper. 

"  Yes,  kiddie,  I  tell  you  because  I  want  you  to  know," 
she  went  on.  "  He  is  so  kind,  and  good  and  tender.  He 
has  given  up  his  life  for  me.  I  never  knew  what  it  was 
to  throb  just  when  some  one  touched  me.  I  never  knew 
how  it  felt  to  have  your  heart  jump  just  at  the  sight 
of  a  person.  But  I  know  now,  and  before  God,  who  is 
my  witness,  I  wouldn't  give  him  up  for  anything  else  in 
life." 

She  added,  in  a  soliloquy,  while  Hagar  lay  in  her  arms 
half  asleep,  "  We  pay  dearly  for  all  the  sweetness  that 
comes  to  us,  and  I  am  willing  to  pay  for  mine." 

Her  eyes  were  filled  with  tenderness  as  she  spoke. 

Suddenly  she  turned  on  her  side  toward  Hagar,  and 
putting  her  arms  about  the  child's  body  convulsively 


Hagar  Revelly  25 

drew  her  near.  "  Oh,  Hagar,"  she  cried ;  "  tell  me  I'm 
not  a  bad  woman,  tell  me,  kiddie,  tell  me.  Say  I  am  only 
a  good  woman,  who  must  suffer  now  because  she  has  en- 
dured her  unhappiness  too  long." 

Her  voice  was  full  of  begging.  The  child  was  wide 
awake  again.  "  Tell  me  more,  mother,"  begged  Hagar. 

"  There  is  not  much  more  to  tell,  dearie.  I  only 
wanted  you  to  know."  Then  she  hesitated.  "  I  won- 
der," she  said  more  slowly,  "  now  that  you  do  know  it,  if 
you  can  be  just  as  fond  of  me,  if  we  can  be  just  as  dear 
to  each  other.  Oh,  Hagar,  you  see  I  am  burying  the 
mother  in  me  deep  enough  when  I  tell  you  these  things. 
But  you  must  know  after  all.  Problems  will  come  into 
your  life  when  you  grow  older,  when  you  are  totally 
unprepared.  Perhaps,  I  am  only  doing  a  mother's  duty 
after  all." 

"  You've  suffered,  haven't  you,  mother?  "  said  Hagar, 
holding  her  mother  more  tightly. 

For  the  first  time  Mrs.  Revelly  smiled  a  little.  "  Oh, 
I  suffered  at  the  beginning,  dearie.  I  feared  your  father 
would  notice  and  I  feared  his  violent  threats  even 
more. 

"  Why  should  I  give  him  up,  if  he  is  so  dear  to  me  ?  " 
she  thought  on.  "  We  could  go  away  some  place  to  live, 
Hagar,  in  a  little  apartment  in  some  other  part  of  town, 
unless  your  father  leaves  here  himself,  as  he  says.  But 
it  is  the  end.  Thatah  will  stay  with  him.  And  you  ?  " 
She  drew  Hagar  near  to  her.  "  Will  you  stay  with  me?  " 

"  Wherever  you  go,  mother,"  Hagar  breathed  softly. 

Mrs.  Revelly  clasped  Hagar  in  her  arms  with  renewed 
affection  and  with  her  lips  at  the  child's  lips,  whispered: 

"  Oh,  Hagar,  you  are  a  part  of  me.  You  must  stay 
by  me."  And  to  reassure  herself  she  asked  again,  "  You 
will,  won't  you?  " 

"  Always,  mother,  always,"  Hagar  murmured.     .     .     • 


26  Hagar  Revelly 

It  was  nine  o'clock  that  morning  when  they  had  quieted 
themselves. 

In  the  next  room  could  be  heard  Thatah  and  her  father 
talking  in  low  tones  and  then  a  number  of  steps  in  the 
hallway,  mingled  with  the  grating  noise  of  a  trunk 
dragged  along  the  bare  boards  of  the  floor. 

Hagar  lay  asleep,  while  Mrs.  Revelly  fell  into  a  new 
paroxysm  of  tears,  as  she  realized  that  her  husband  had 
actually  begun  his  preparations  for  leaving  her. 


CHAPTER  IV 

THAT  she  managed  to  pull  through  the  following  week 
without  losing  all  hold  on  herself  was  a  real  surprise  to 
Mrs.  Revelly.  In  reality  the  one  thing  that  kept  her 
from  giving  in  entirely  to  her  feelings  was  the  unceasing 
effort  she  made  to  persuade  herself  this  great  calamity 
was  not  of  her  own  making. 

After  the  first  few  days  she  gained  strength  rapidly. 
Perhaps  it  was  chiefly  on  account  of  her  material  wor- 
ries, for  during  the  week  following  Eman's  departure 
she  was  forced  to  become  more  practical  than  she  had 
ever  been  before. 

Deciding  that  she  could  not  keep  the  flat  without  more 
money  than  would  be  coming  from  her  husband,  she  in- 
serted a  small  advertisement  in  the  paper.  The  word- 
ing of  it,  which  mentioned  a  delightful  room  in  a  refined 
family  consisting  of  mother  and  daughter,  brought  many 
applicants.  Fanny  also  decided  to  stay  temporarily  for 
a  few  dollars  less  a  month,  which  made  it  possible  for 
Mrs.  Revelly  to  offer  meals  as  well  as  rooms. 

By  the  fourth  morning  the  two  vacant  rooms  had  been 
taken.  The  one  next  Mrs.  Revelly's  was  rented  to  a 
thin-faced  little  woman,  who  wore  rubbers  the  day  she 
came,  because  of  a  slight  fog  in  the  early  morning.  Her 
name  was  Janet  French  and  she  introduced  herself  by 
saying  that  she  attended  to  her  own  business,  never  both- 
ered about  anyone  else's  affairs  and  that  in  place  of  the 
parlor  she  would  expect  to  use  her  bedroom  for  her  com- 
pany. Mrs.  Revelly  gave  her  the  room. 

27 


28  Hagar  Revelly 

Noontime  of  the  same  day  came  another,  a  young 
man. 

Mrs.  Revelly  sent  Hagar  down  to  see  him. 

She  found  him  standing  in  the  vestibule  carefully 
studying  one  of  the  old  weathered  oil  paintings. 

"  You  want  to  see  about  a  room?  "  asked  Hagar. 

"  Yes,  if  you  please."  He  held  in  his  hand  the  ad- 
vertisement clipping.  "  My  name  is  Herrick  —  F.  A. 
Herrick.  I  am  employed  by  the  Raphael  Art  Glass  peo- 
ple, as  designer,"  he  added.  "  What  do  you  want  for 
a  room  and  board?  " 

He  spoke  in  a  very  businesslike  manner  and  had  a  di- 
rect way  of  expressing  himself. 

Hagar  hesitated.  "  If  you  will  wait,  I'll  ask,"  she 
said,  and  left  him  standing  in  the  middle  of  the  hall. 

The  fellow  was  clean  cut  and  rather  attractive 
physically.  His  face  was  boyish  —  he  couldn't  have 
been  past  twenty-two  —  and  as  he  saw  Hagar's  trim  lit- 
tle figure  pass  up  the  stairway,  his  blue  eyes  followed  anx- 
iously. "  I  hope  it  isn't  too  much,"  he  said  to  himself 
as  he  watched  her. 

Into  the  room  upstairs  Hagar  darted  unceremoniously. 

"  Oh,  mother,"  she  cried ;  "  he's  the  dandiest  looking 
fellow,  and  he  wants  to  know  how  much  we  want." 

Mrs.  Revelly,  even  yet  too  weak  and  ill  to  deal  in  busi- 
-ness  matters,  searched  her  brain  for  a  price.  The  room 
that  was  vacant  was  a  much  larger  room  than  the  one 
rented  to  Miss  French. 

After  some  thought  she  said: 

"  Ask  him  what  he  paid  at  his  last  place." 

Miss  French  was  paying  eight  dollars  for  her  room 
and  board.  She  thought  that  for  the  other  room  it 
ought  to  be  at  least  ten.  But  she  let  Hagar  rush  down 
to  the  young  man. 

"  Mother  says  you  can  have  it  for  the  same  as  you  paid 


Hagar  Revelly  29 

in  your  last  place,"  said  Hagar,  before  she  was  fairly 
in  the  hall. 

"  Well,"  he  replied,  "  I  left  the  last  place  because  it 
was  a  little  too  steep  for  me,  but  I  am  willing  to  pay 
nine  dollars  a  week  if  that  is  agreeable." 

Hagar  answered  immediately.  "  Mother  says  that  will 
be  all  right.  I  will  show  you  the  room." 

She  took  him  to  the  room  and  after  he  had  given  it  the 
slightest  kind  of  cursory  glance,  he  told  her  that  he 
would  be  glad  to  send  his  trunk  over  the  same  evening. 

"  Whenever  you  wish,"  said  Hagar. 

They  shook  hands  at  the  door,  and  the  warmth  of  his 
strong  grasp  stayed  with  Hagar  until  her  eyes  followed 
him  around  the  corner  of  the  next  street. 

There  were  four  more  callers  that  day,  three  young 
men,  and  one  rather  old,  who  wore  a  heavy  golden  horse- 
shoe in  his  tie  and  had  big  red  hands.  But  all  were  dis- 
missed, as  Mrs.  Revelly  decided  despite  Hagar's  protests 
that  the  child  should  still  have  her  own  room  to  herself. 

It  was  after  this  first  week  that  Mrs.  Revelly  thought 
it  would  not  be  wrong  for  Mr.  Nealy  to  come  to  her,  and, 
after  holding  off  for  another  day  from  answering  his 
yearning  letters,  she  wrote  to  him.  When  Nealy  came, 
Mrs.  Revelly  felt  that  all  evidences  of  her  tearful  days 
of  stress  and  worry  were  removed.  She  had  spent  an 
hour  getting  ready  for  this  first  meeting  since  her  hus- 
band's departure,  and  he  found  her  quietly  reading  and 
looking  very  well. 

Arising  from  her  chair,  she  ran  to  the  door,  taking  a 
passing  glance  in  the  mirror. 

Nealy  was  paler  than  when  she  had  last  seen  him. 
Deep  lines  ran  down  from  his  eyes  to  the  corners  of  his 
mouth. 

For  a  moment  they  regarded  each  other  without  even 
touching  hands.  Nealy  plainly  showed  how  anxious  he 


30  Hagar  Revelly 

was,  when  he  kissed  her.  Her  arms  were  still  about  his 
neck  as  they  stood  and  talked. 

"  I'm  glad  it's  all  over."  His  voice  was  calm  for  quite 
the  first  time.  "  Now,  tell  me  what's  happened." 

"Well  — he's  left." 

"  Left ! " 

"  Yes,  and  taken  Thatah  with  him." 

His  state  of  bewilderment  was  apparent.  He  grasped 
her  hands  roughly. 

"But  what  is  going  to  happen?     Am  I  mentioned  — 

"Why,  John—" 

"  Oh,  I  know,"  he  said  hastily.  "  But  look  what  it 
means  to  me  if  I  get  mixed  up  in  a  divorce  case.  I 
guess  it's  ruin,"  he  added  intensely. 

Mrs.  Revelly  laughed.  "  John,  you're  acting  foolish. 
Everything  is  all  right." 

Nealy,  still  excited,  took  her  hand.  "  You  mean  he 
doesn't  know  ?  " 

"  Sure,  John,  and  I  don't  think  he  ever  will.  Some- 
how the  quarrel  didn't  seem  to  have  anything  to  do  with 
you  —  so  far  as  he  could  see." 

"But  Thatah  —  doesn't  she  know?  Won't  she  tell 
him?  " 

"  I  don't  think  so.  She  is  too  much  afraid  of  giving 
him  a  new  worry  —  you  know  how  crazy  she  is  about  him. 
She  could  never  tell  him  anything  that  would  bother 
him." 

Nealy's  face  lost  some  of  its  expression  of  excitement 
and  fear.  "  I  was  pretty  much  worried,"  he  confessed. 
"  I  didn't  hear  the  whole  truth.  Your  only  letter  was 
so  vague.  Things  are  bad  enough  for  me  as  they  are, 
and  I  guess  you've  had  a  bad  time  of  it  too,  Rena." 

Then  he  held  her  off  from  him,  gently  observing  her 
for  a  moment,  and  patting  her  pale  cheeks  and  smooth- 
ing back  with  a  touch  of  his  fingers,  a  wrinkle  that  had 


Hagar  Revelly  31 

gathered  on  her  forehead.  "  But  you  are  as  beautiful 
as  ever,  Rena,"  he  said. 

She  let  him  admire  her,  contented  and  happy  to  know 
that  she  was  so  attractive  to  him.  When  they  were 
seated,  on  a  divan  near  the  window,  he  asked,  hesitating 
to  mention  the  subject:  "Where  have  they  moved 
to?" 

"I  think  some  place  below  Thirty-fourth  Street  on 
Lexington  Avenue.  He  left  the  address  with  Hagar." 

"  After  all,  there  will  be  peace  and  quiet  now,"  he 
said,  as  he  took  her  hand  and  kissed  the  back  of  it. 
"  Peace  and  quiet,  and  I  guess  you  deserve  it,  dear  little 
woman." 

"  It  has  been  very  hard,  though,"  she  remarked. 

"  Yes,  but  it  is  over,  and  you  are  going  to  be  very, 
very  happy." 

"  I  have  thanked  Heaven  many  times  that  I  have  you, 
John,"  she  said  seriously,  looking  up. 

She  fingered  the  small  locket  that  he  wore  on  a  gold 
chain. 

"You've  —  looked  at  that  —  this  week?" 

"  You  know  that,"  he  answered. 

"  You  can't  imagine  how  queer  Hagar  is  becoming," 
Mrs.  Revelly  went  on  irrelevantly.  She  told  how  she 
had  lately  noticed  the  strange  way  in  which  the  child 
would  hug  and  kiss  her,  and  how  her  little  fingers  would 
hold  on  after  a  caress. 

"  You  can't  realize  the  affection  there  is  in  that  child," 
she  added. 

"  I  believe  you're  right,"  he  returned,  remembering 
how  one  day  he  had  watched  Hagar  caress  a  young  spar- 
row that  had  fallen  from  a  tree,  with  an  affection  that 
^as  nearly  abnormal.  Though  she  held  the  little  thing 
gently  between  her  fingers  and  stroked  the  feathery  back 
with  great  delicacy,  yet  he  perceived  how  her  hand  trem- 


32  Hagar  Revelly 

bled,  and  her  body  stiffened,  and  the  quivering  of  her 
lips  and  slow  rhythmic  moving  of  her  little  bosom. 

It  had  been  all  suppressed  in  the  child,  but  he  could 
see  the  emotions  that  ran  through  her.  And  now  he  told 
the  woman  beside  him  about  it. 

"  There  is  everything  in  her  that  there  is  in  you, 
Rena,"  said  he ;  "  passion,  emotional  regard,  affection 
—  only  they  don't  come  out  because  they  have  never  been 
brought  out.  But  that  is  only  because  she  is  not  yet 
conscious  of  herself."  Before  he  thought  of  his  words, 
he  went  on :  "  And  she  is  the  kind  of  woman  that  would 
give  her  future,  everything,  in  the  instant.  That  is 
what  you  notice  in  her  embrace.  It  is  passion." 

"  You  mean  like  me,  dear  ?  "  Mrs.  Revelly  questioned. 

"  A  good  deal,  only  you,  poor  child,  were  made  by  cir- 
cumstance to  go  for  so  long  without  what  was  rightfully 
yours." 

Mrs.  Revelly  became  lost  in  thought.  At  last  she 
said :  "  I  am  afraid  you  are  right  about  Hagar.'* 

"  I  am  anxious  to  see  her,"  he  said. 

He  left  very  late  that  evening,  but  his  curiosity  about 
Hagar  kept  Mrs.  Revelly  wondering  considerably.  In 
his  next  visit,  his  first  question  was  again  about  the  child. 
And  when  he  found  she  was  out,  Mrs.  Revelly  could  see 
a  shadow  of  disappointment  spread  over  his  face. 

They  saw  each  other  every  day  now,  and  the  hours 
passed  always  too  quickly.  It  was  as  if  they  were  again 
living  through  a  rejuvenation  of  their  earlier  love. 

One  day  they  discussed  a  new  book  that  had  met  with 
a  great  deal  of  success.  The  title  of  the  book  was  "  A 
Song  of  Life,"  and  Nealy  brought  up  the  subject  since 
it  was  spoken  of  as  a  new  departure  in  literature. 

"  The  woman  in  it  has  a  little  short  nose,  just  like 
yours,"  said  he  playfully. 

While  they  were  discussing  the  book,  they  came  across 


Hagar  Revelly  33 

a  full  paged  picture  on  one  of  the  leaves,  which  showed 
a  woman  stretched  out  at  full  length  upon  a  window  seat.     / 
It    made    him   look    at    the   figure    of   Mrs.    Revelly    and 
then   he    allowed  his    glance   to   follow   down   the   lengthN  / 
of  her  limbs  to  her  feet,  where  just  a  glimpse  of  flesh  | 
could  be     seen    through   the    sheer    fabric    of   her    thin 
stockings. 

He  seated  himself  beside  her,  and  took  her  in  his  arms 
and  ran  one  hand  up  and  down  her  side,  in  a  passionate 
caress. 

"  It's  curious,  Rena,"  he  said,  quietly,  "  how  we  have 
gone  on  for  eight  years,  feeling  and  caring  in  just  the 
same  way  we  did  when  we  first  met." 

"  It  is  all  very  strange,"  she  murmured. 

"  It  sometimes  makes  me  wonder." 

"About  what?" 

"  Oh,  what  it  all  means.  We  get  so  happy  and  so 
sad,  and  we  yearn  so  much  and  get  so  little,  and  then  in 
the  end  —  always  happy  just  to  be  able  to  go  on  without 
realizing  a  thing." 

"  Yes,  I  think  of  that  a  lot." 

"  Of  course  I  am  happier  now,"  he  went  on,  "  but  my 
days  are  a  little  strange,  for  all  that.  I  talk  so  ear- 
nestly to  people,  and  look  into  their  eyes,  and  listen  to 
what  they  say,  and  all  the  time  in  my  inner  consciousness 
knowing  that  it  is  only  to  enable  me  to  make  a  few  dol- 
lars —  just  to  live  a  little  longer." 

When  the  time  came  for  him  to  go  he  murmured  that 
it  was  all  too  soon.  And  at  the  door,  she  held  up  her 
face  to  him  and  he  placed  a  kiss  on  her  lips,  and  said : 

"It   is   going  to   be   different,  now,  Rena,  isn't   it?" 

She  put  her  arm  about  him.  "  Yes,  dear  friend." 
Then  she  added,  "  I  want  you  to  be  happy  now." 

"  I  am,  you  know  that." 

Before  he  passed  onto  the  broken  stone  steps  he  took 


34  Hagar  Revelly 

her  in  his  arms  again,  saying  in  a  hushed  voice :  "  Rena, 
I  do  love  you." 

His  feelings  appeared  to  have  surged  up  and  encom- 
passed him  at  that  last  moment.  It  was  very  reluctantly 
that  he  shut  the  door  after  him. 

When  he  had  gone  Rena  went  back  to  her  room.  It 
was  dark,  but  she  hesitated  to  make  a  light.  Instead  she 
began  thinking,  recalling*  the  first  time  they  met,  the 
beginning  of  their  acquaintance.  Her  thoughts  went 
back  over  the  years.  She  remembered  the  little  glances 
at  first  and  the  short  strange  meetings,  and  talks. 

She  remembered  the  beginning  of  their  acquaintance. 
It  had  commenced  when  he  was  on  the  verge  of  being 
known  as  a  writer  of  serious  fiction  and  more  because  it 
was  fiction  without  the  usual  detail'1  for  romantic  action. 
Then  came  three  years'  separation-  while  he  was  away 
amongst  some  wood  choppers  and  lumber  camps  in  the 
north.  When  he  returned  with  the  work  he  had  written, 
they  met  one  day  at  the  studio  of  a  fellow  musician  of 
her  husband.  That  day  they  mentioned  to  each  other 
another  engagement  that  would  bring  them  together. 
In  a  week  they  were  meeting  regularly  with  a>  feeling  of 
exultation  and  gladness  pervading  their  beings. 

A  book  was  illy  received,  then  another  with  no  more 
success.  He  was  compelled  to  seek  employment  after 
that,  as  an  assistant  in  the  office  of  a  business  magazine. 
And  as  he  became  poorer,  her  interest  in  him  had  in- 
creased. A  year  later  there  was  such  absolute  need  of 
him  that  all  consequences  were  disregarded. 

How  she  had  tried  to  interest  him.  She  remembered 
distinctly  the  way  she  had  managed  her  hair,  how  she 
had  watched  the  blending  of  colors  so  that  her  com- 
plexion would  show  to  better  advantage. 

One  day  he  stayed  later  than  usual  and  her  husband 
met  him,  and  liked  him,  which  eased  her  considerably  and 


Hagar  Revelly  35 

made  her  feel  that  now  it  was  not  at  all  wrong  that  he 
should  stop  in  for  the  cup  of  tea. 

Their  intimacy  grew.  She  had  so  long  suffered  from 
inattention  and  disregard  that  she  had  actually  grown 
to  believe  there  was  in  her  no  longer  any  ability  of  being 
attractive  or  attracting  admiration.  But  he  listened  to 
her  words  in  a  way  that  seemed  to  enhance  every  remark 
that  she  uttered.  Their  clasped  hands  at  parting  each 
time  seemed  to  convey  to  each  other  the  full  meaning  of 
their  deep  regard. 

Once  she  noticed  that  he  was  looking  less  pale,  that 
there  was  more  color  in  his  cheeks  and  glitter  in  his  eyes. 
Gradually  she  became  aware  that  she  excited  him.  How 
pleased  she  had  been  when  she  noticed  that.  It  was 
something  so  new  to  feel  she  could  do  this,  that  she 
went  on  trying,  studying  his  moods  and  wishes.  And 
then  —  she  could  not  explain  how  it  happened  —  but 
very  gradually  it  seemed,  she  began  to  feel  in  herself  the 
strange  quickening  of  her  pulse  and  the  joyous  beating 
of  her  heart  that  she  had  so  delighted  in  seeing  evidences 
of  in  him. 

Soon  after  came  the  day  he  told  her  he  loved 
her  and  was  unable  to  help  it.  His  words  had  indeed 
been  sweet.  "  I  have  held  out  too  long,"  he  said. 

But  she  saw  he  recognized  the  situation,  too,  and 
she  had  to  witness  the  struggle  going  on  within  the  man, 
until  at  last  it  made  her  so  unhappy  she  could  only  turn 
her  face  away  and  beg  him  not  to  suffer  so  intensely. 

When  she  realized  that  afternoon  that  his  lips  were 
upon  her  forehead  and  cheek  for  the  first  time,  she  felt 
like  crying  out  in  the  joy  and  pain  of  it.  Even  wanting 
to  struggle  against  him,  she  knew  it  was  beyond  her 
power  to  offer  resistance. 

Then  had  come  in  quick  succession  the  realization  of 
her  indiscretion,  his  efforts  for  weeks  to  stay  away  from 


36  Hagar  Revelly 

her,  a  begging  note  that  she  had  sent  late  at  night,  tell- 
ing that  she  must  have  him  in  her  life.     .     . 

The  years  had  passed,  and  as  Mrs.  Revelly  viewed  now 
the  many  days  of  happiness  since  then,  she  felt  that  the 
intensity  of  their  regard  for  each  other  was  a  noble 
thing,  and  had  only  been  nourished  by  passing  time  be- 
cause of  its  righteousness. 


CHAPTER  V 

HAGAR  had  been  visiting  a  girl  friend  for  a  few  weeks, 
and  when  John  Nealy,  on  one  of  his  visits,  found  her 
back  at  the  side  of  her  mother,  he  was  very  much  pleased. 

After  their  first  greeting,  he  kept  his  eyes  on  her,  say- 
ing :  "  Well,  Hagar,  it's  been  some  time  since  I've  seen 
you ;  how  are  you?  " 

Hagar  shook  his  hand  warmly.  "  Very  well,  Mr. 
Nealy,"  she  answered.  Her  eyes  smiled  and  sparkled  and 
the  slight  color  in  her  cheeks  was  made  more  prominent 
by  the  very  black  hair  which  hung  in  straight  bangs  over 
her  forehead. 

Nealy  regarded  appreciatively  her  pretty  face  and  su- 
perb little  figure.  "  My,  but  you  are  getting  to  be  a 
young  lady,"  he  exclaimed,  with  his  eyes  alive.  "  I 
wouldn't  think  that  a  few  weeks  could  make  such  a  dif- 
ference." 

"  Why,  Hagar  is  still  a  baby,"  intruded  Mrs.  Revelly, 
who  had  been  watching  almost  enviously. 

He  answered  that  Hagar  would  be  a  young  woman  be- 
fore she  knew  it.  As  he  talked,  Mrs.  Revelly  noticed  that 
his  eyes  never  ceased  their  admiring  look  into  the  girl's 
face. 

"  You  shouldn't  say  that,  John,"  she  commented ;  "  if 
only  because  it  makes  me  feel  old." 

It  pained  her  somewhat  to  think  that  instead  of  giving 
her  his  time,  he  should  be  wasting  it  on  the  bashful  Hagar. 

Nealy,  becoming  vaguely  conscious  of  her  injured  feel- 
ings, replied :  "  You  will  always  be  young  to  me,  Rena.'1 

They  decided  to  walk  over  to  Riverside  Drive,  where 

37 


38  Hagar  Revelly 

life  was  more  splendid  than  between  the  rows  of  shabby 
apartment  houses. 

"  We  will  watch  the  aristocracy,  and  envy  them,"  he 
said  whimsically,  looking  down,  as  he  spoke,  at  his  shabby 
black  suit. 

They  crossed  over  to  Seventh  Avenue  and  then  waited 
along  One  Hundred  and  Twenty-fifth  Street  until  they 
reached  the  driveway. 

Here,  running  along  the  edge  of  the  walk,  was  an  un- 
ending line  of  green  benches,  crowded  with  women  and 
children,  while  a  few  idle  men  were  sprawling  on  the 
nearby  grass.  In  the  distance  Grant's  Tomb,  with  its 
dome,  pointed  into  the  still  air,  in  silhouette  against  the 
mingling  dust  and  smoke  that  hung  above  the  city. 

Nealy  walked  silently  along  between  the  two  women, 
rather  proud  of  his  lovely  companions.  As  they  neared 
a  turn  in  the  road,  a  young  man  sitting  on  a  bench,  fast 
asleep,  attracted  their  attention.  He  was  shabbily 
dressed  and  an  ugly  scar  ran  down  from  the  corner  of 
his  mouth  to  his  throat,  arraying  the  flesh  into  a  series 
of  whitened  ridges,  like  the  ribs  in  a  fan. 

As  they  passed,  Hagar  looked  at  him  and  exclaimed: 
"  Oh,  look,  how  awful ! "  and  became  suddenly  downcast. 

After  they  had  walked  on,  Mrs.  Revelly  noticed  the 
abrupt  change  in  Hagar's  mood  and  asked  her  what  was 
the  trouble. 

"  That  man,  mother,"  Hagar  answered.  "  Did  you 
see  how  awful  he  looked?  Couldn't  we  give  him  some 
money  ?  " 

Amidst  the  mother's  protestations,  John  Neafy  took 
out  a  small  piece  of  change  and  handed  it  co  Hagsr. 
With  the  money  held  aloft  the  girl  skipped  off,  crying 
to  them  as  she  ran :  "  I'll  be  back  in  a  minute." 

While  they  stood  waiting  for  her  Mrs.  Revelly  said: 
"  I  wonder  sometimes  if  I  understand  Hagar.  She  will 


Hagar  Revelly  39 

stay  quiet  for  hours  dreaming  and  thinking.  If  she 
reads  a  book  she  imagines  herself  the  heroine  of  every 
adventure.  Yet  when  she  gets  out  into  the  open  air  like 
this,  she  is  just  as  wild  as  a  boy." 

Hagar  came  rushing  back  to  them. 

''  You  should  have  seen  how  happy  and  surprised  he 
was,"  she  cried  breathlessly.  "  He  just  looked  at  me  and 
was  nearly  too  surprised  to  take  the  money." 

Hagar's  mood  had  indeed  changed.  The  momentary 
overcasting  of  her  spirits  had  passed  and  she  was  again 
buoyant  and  childish.  At  Nealy's  suggestion,  she  told 
as  they  walked  on,  about  a  book  she  had  just  finished 
reading,  and  how  it  had  affected  her. 

He  made  her  describe  in  her  girlish  way  the  hero  and 
heroine  of  the  story. 

"  Do  you  think  you  will  ever  have  anything  like  that 
happen  to  you,  Hagar?  "  he  asked  when  she  had  finished. 

They  were  walking  along  quietly. 

"  I  don't  know,"  she  answered.  In  her  voice  was  an- 
ticipation and  eagerness. 

As  he  questioned  her,  Nealy's  attention  was  called  to 
something  more  than  her  pretty  naive  manner.  At  that 
moment  he  discovered  in  the  glow  of  her  cheeks  and  in 
her  wondering  speech  an  entirely  new  interest. 

Reaching  the  end  of  the  driveway  they  sat  down,  with 
their  faces  to  the  Hudson.  Up  and  down  the  river 
moved  the  different  craft,  while  in  the  distance,  where 
the  water  seemed  to  meet  the  sky,  could  be  seen  a  thin 
line  of  smoke  coiling  its  way  into  the  air.  Then  the 
white  outline  of  an  Albany  boat  came  into  view,  while 
at  the  same  moment  they  noticed  across  from  them  a 
big  electric  sign  that  loomed  up  in  vast  letters,  in  an 
incongruous  comparison  to  the  natural  beauty  of  the 
reddish  cliffs  that  framed  the  water. 

Nealy  found  a  host  of  forgotten  memories  steal  back 


40  Hagar  Revelly 

to  him  as  he  viewed  the  scenery;  thoughts  of  his  own 
youth,  his  earlier  ambitions  and  failures,  all  the  different 
plans,  the  petty  desires  that  had  grown  bigger  with  the 
man.  Events  which  he  thought  he  had  quite  forgotten 
all  came  back  now  and  spun  their  little  web  of  remem- 
brance, and  taunted  him  as  they  had  done  in  the  other 
years  — •  it  seemed  as  if  they  had  been  let  loose  from  some 
sealed  casket  in  his  memory. 

As  he  thought  on,  he  wondered  if  it  was  chance  or  the 
pretty  youthfulness  of  Hagar  that  brought  back  to  him 
these  forgotten  things.  He  asked  himself  the  question 
quite  frankly,  because  he  remembered  that  he  had  been 
always  susceptible  to  a  pretty  face. 

As  they  sat  quietly  viewing  the  scenery,  Nealy  felt 
himself  becoming  really  saddened. 

"  Let  us  walk  back,"  he  said.  Then,  with  the  thought 
that  the  women  might  be  too  tired,  he  suggested  they 
take  one  of  the  passing  omnibuses. 

They  reached  the  door  of  the  flat  while  it  was  yet 
sunny  and  hot.  Mrs.  Revelly  asked  him  to  come  in,  and 
they  were  hardly  seated  in  the  little  parlor,  when  she 
surprised  him  by  asking  why  his  mood  had  changed  so 
perceptibly  in  the  last  few  minutes. 

"  You  are  acting  sad,  John,  and  you  ought  to  be 
happy  now,"  she  told  him. 

"  Why,  Rena,  I  am  happy,"  he  answered.  However, 
he  felt  that  her  question  was  not  groundless.  Deep  in 
him,  there  was  something  disturbing  and  troubling, 
though  when  Hagar  came  back  into  the  room  the  feel- 
ing seemed  to  pass  off. 

After  that  day  Nealy  came  much  more  often  to  their 
home,  and  Mrs.  Revelly  was  made  happy  again.  Some- 
times he  stopped  in  of  a  morning  on  his  way  to  the  of- 
fice, and  again  he  would  very  unceremoniously  drop  in  for 
a  few  minutes'  chat  at  lunch  time. 


Hagar  Revelly  41 

At  first  Rena  Revelly  was  much  pleased  that,  for  some 
reason,  he  should  feel  more  the  need  of  her.  It  gave  her 
a  lot  of  pleasure  and  made  the  days  pass  quickly.  But 
one  evening,  just  after  he  had  left  them,  she  stopped  to 
ask  herself  if  there  were  not  some  new  impulse  that  had 
again  aroused  him. 

She  thought  about  the  problem  a  good  deal  that  night, 
and  gradually  became  assured  that  it  was  something 
other  than  her  caresses  that  was  giving  him  this  new  and 
increased  pleasure.  It  even  came  into  her  mind  that  he 
was  taking  more  care  of  his  clothes  these  days  and  of 
his  face,  for  now  he  never  appeared  unless  he  was  cleanly 
shaven. 

About  a  week  later  they  were  seated  in  the  unlighted 
parlor,  waiting  for  dinner.  Hagar  had  gone  to  her 
room  to  change  her  dress,  and  she  and  Nealy  were  rest- 
ing in  silence.  In  a  few  minutes  Hagar  came  back  to 
have  her  mother  fasten  the  back  of  her  collar,  which  she 
could  not  manage.  The  child  had  on  a  pale  blue  waist 
of  thin  material  and  a  tight  fitting  dark  skirt  which 
showed  all  the  gentle  curves  of  her  form. 

Mrs.  Revelly  drew  the  girl  to  her  and  gave  her  lips 
an  affectionate  kiss.  "  You're  pretty  as  a  picture  to- 
night," she  exclaimed.  Then  she  quite  unconsciously  hap- 
pened to  look  across  to  the  man  and  noticed  the  new 
expression  on  his  face  and  the  new  life  in  his  eyes.  That 
casual  glance,  changed  to  real  belief  her  previous  fears 
and  anxiety,  heightened  the  colors  in  the  ratiocinative  pic- 
ture so  gradually  confronting  her. 

During  the  evening  she  tried  hard  not  to  betray  her 
new  understanding.  But,  when  once  Nealy  remarked  on 
Hagar's  beauty,  she  exclaimed  in  tones  nearly  beyond 
her  control :  "  I  am  getting  old,  John.  I  believe  you 
are  falling  in  love  with  my  daughter." 

"  Don't  be  silly,  Rena,"  he  replied ;  while  she  fought 


4£  Hagar  Revelly 

valiantly  not  to  show  she  had  seen  the  almost  guilty  look 
that  had  stolen  across  his  face. 

The  next  afternoon  Hagar  was  out  when  he  called  and 
he  did  not  stay  for  dinner,  making  the  excuse  that  he  was 
not  well. 

Mrs.  Revelly  was  in  truth  grieved ;  for  planning  on  this 
evening  alone  with  him,  she  had  with  special  care  dressed 
herself  and  ordered  the  meal. 

Depressed  and  lonely,  she  went  to  the  table  almost  hat- 
ing her  two  boarders,  though  after  a  while,  she  found  her- 
self listening  to  their  talk  with  a  certain  vague  enjoy- 
ment. 

Herrick  was  really  a  very  talkative  and  cheering  per- 
son. When  he  joined  Mrs.  Revelly,  and  Hagar,  who  had 
by  now  come  home,  on  the  porch  after  dinner,  he  grew 
even  more  encouraged  and  talked  rampantly,  explaining 
that  he  would  eventually  become  an  artist,  even  though  now 
they  compelled  him  to  do  clerical  work,  on  account  of  the 
dulness  of  the  season.  "  But  I'll  make  them  come  around 
•to  my  work  before  I  am  through,"  said  he  courageously, 
as  he  found  Hagar  listening  attentively  to  his  words. 

To  the  mind  of  the  youthful  Hagar,  Herrick  was  an 
ideal  type  of  physical  beauty,  with  his  broad  shoulders 
and  tall  stature,  and  as  they  sat  on  the  steps,  facing  each 
other,  she  felt  like  letting  him  understand  that  she  ad- 
mired him. 

There  was  always  something,  however,  that  kept  her 
from  looking  directly  at  him  or  indulging  in  any  con- 
versation. She  could  not  explain  this  feeling,  and  only 
once  since  he  had  come  to  their  house  had  she  been  able  to 
answer  directly  his  searching  glances. 

That  night  after  her  mother  had  gone  inside,  and  they 
were  alone,  Herrick  surprised  her  by  saying,  as  if  the 
idea  had  just  come  to  him:  "You  people  are  not  very 
well  off,  are  you  ?  " 


Hagar  R&velly  43 

Hagar  was  startled. 

"  I  do  not  know  what  you  mean." 

"  Oh,  I  mean  that  you  haven't  got  much  money,  back- 
ing, you  know." 

It  was  after  some  hesitation  that  Hagar  replied,  very 
bravely :  "  No,  I  guess  we  haven't." 

"  Well,  that's  what  I  thought."  He  seemed  to  be  driv- 
ing at  some  point  in  his  mind  that  could  not  well  be 
worded. 

After  a  spell  of  silence  in  which  Hagar  wondered  a 
great  deal  about  what  he  was  thinking,  he  went  on: 

"  I  was  just  wondering  what  you  thought  about  it. 
It  seems  a  pretty  big  thing  to  me,  this  being  poor.  And 
I  guess  a  girl  is  in  a  worse  position  because  it  is  harder 
for  her  to  get  out  and  look  around."  He  hesitated. 
"  Of  course,  it  is  too  hot  to  do  anything  now,  but  I  sup- 
pose you  are  going  to  do  something  in  the  fall,  aren't 
you?  " 

"  Why,  why  —  I  haven't  thought  of  that,"  answered 
Hagar.  Then  she  looked  into  his  face.  "  I  don't  know 
what  I'll  do.  Maybe  I'll  stay  here  and  help  mother,  or 
maybe  go  back  to  school."  As  an  after  thought  she 
added :  "  I  hate  school,  though." 

"Did  you  finish  high  school?"  he  asked. 

"  No,  I  was  in  the  grammar  still.  I  was  sick  all  one 
year,"  she  went  on,  meaning  to  explain  to  him  the  cause 
for  her  backwardness,  "  and  when  they  wanted  to  put  me 
back  a  year  on  top  of  that,  why,  I  just  quit.  I  hated 
to  go  to  school  and  study  all  the  time,  anyway." 

Herrick  listened  intently  to  her  words  and  when  she 
had  finished  he  told  her  again  that  the  question  of  work 
was  a  big  proposition. 

"  Why,  in  my  case,  I  went  to  work  when  I  quit  school. 
I  saw  the  way  things  were  going  around  the  house,  and 
I  made  up  my  mind  to  get  right  out  for  myself.  Father 


44  Hagar  Revelly 

was  a  first-class  job  painter,  and  had  his  own  business, 
but  he  was  sick  all  the  time  and  mother  worried  so  be- 
cause no  money  was  coming  in.  Then  the  house  got 
mortgaged  and  I  took  a  job  right  off.  I  wanted  to  study 
oil  painting  as  I  could  draw  pretty  well,  but  of  course 
that  was  all  knocked  in  the  head.  I  had  to  get  out  and 
hustle." 

"  Isn't  that  fine  ?  But  of  course  it's  different  with 
girls,"  remarked  Hagar. 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know,"  he  went  on.  "  Maybe  I  think  dif- 
ferent about  those  things.  I  look  at  the  girls,  society 
girls,  you  know,  who  hang  around  sleeping  all  morning, 
because  they  get  in  about  three  or  four  o'clock  from  some 
dance,  and  then  when  they  get  up  don't  do  anything  but 
fix  their  hair  and  clothes  and  read  novels  all  afternoon, 
waiting  for  their  date  that  night  with  some  new  fellow. 
I  think  of  them  and  wonder  if  they  ever  realize  that  they 
are  no  better  than  a  lot  of  other  women  who  hang  around 
men.  You  know  what  I  mean?  Well,  the  women  that 
make  a  living  that  way,  dressing  and  fussing  up  for  the 
men. 

"  Oh,  there  isn't  so  much  difference,"  he  exclaimed, 
mistaking  her  astonishment  at  his  words  for  some  smoth- 
ered argument  of  defence.  "  There  isn't  so  much  dif- 
ference, I  can  tell  you.  All  the  society  girls  do  is  to  go 
out  and  watch  for  a  husband.  That's  what  it  amounts 
to.  And  if  some  of  them  are  really  pretty  and  all  the 
men  chase  after  them,  then  they  feel  pretty  safe  about 
the  husband  proposition,  and  don't  care  if  they  are  a  lit- 
tle sportier  than  the  other  girls.  They  think  they  can  do 
that,  because  they  know  it  won't  queer  them  like  it  would 
the  ugly  girls.  Why,  one  night,  I  was  in  a  restaurant 
with  our  boss,  when  a  lot  of  them  came  in  and  sat  pretty 
near  to  us.  And  they  weren't  much  older  than  you  are 


Hagar  Revelly  45 

either."  He  looked  at  her.  "  By  the  way,"  he  asked, 
"  how  old  are  you,  Miss  Revelly?  " 

"I  am  —  about  sixteen,"  she  faltered,  wishing  that  he 
had  not  paused  to  question  her. 

"  Gee,  you  look  older  than  that.  I  guessed  you  were 
about  eighteen  or  nineteen,  anyway." 

After  a  moment's  thought,  he  said  partly  to  himself, 
partly  to  the  open  street: 

"  I  guess  I  oughtn't  to  have  talked  so  strong  to  you." 

"  Oh,  it's  all  right,  Mr.  Herrick,"  replied  Hagar. 
"  Maybe  it's  something  I  ought  to  hear.  You  know  I 
haven't  got  any  brothers  to  tell  me." 

"  Well,  where  was  I  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  You  were  saying  something-  about  being  in  a  restau- 
rant with  your  boss  — " 

"  Oh,  yes.  Well,  about  half  a  dozen  of  them  came  in, 
and  they  were  mighty  pretty  I  can  tell  you.  Well,  we 
counted  how  much  they  were  drinking  and  one  little  girl 
—  I'll  bet  she  didn't  weigh  ninety  pounds  —  drank  her 
own  dry  Martini  and  part  of  the  fellow's  that  was  next 
to  her,  and  four  glasses  of  champagne,  and  she  was  used 
to  it  too,  because  it  didn't  affect  her  at  all." 

"  Oh,   how   awful !  "   interrupted   Hagar. 

"  Of  course,  they  are  not  all  like  that,"  he  continued. 
"  Some  of  them  fall  in  love  and  that  straightens  them  up. 
It  even  makes  good  decent  women  out  of  some  of  them. 
But  tell  me,"  he  asked  seriously,  "  what  good  do  those 
society  girls  like  that  do  in  the  world?  " 

"  Don't  some  of  them  work  among  the  poor?  " 

Derisively  he  replied :  "  Oh,  yes.  They  work  among 
the  poor  all  right.  Somebody  wrote  a  novel  once  where 
the  good-looking  hero  worked  among  the  poor.  So  most 
of  them  go  down  to  the  slums  with  the  idea  in  their  heads 
that  they're  going  to  meet  a  hero,  too." 


He  stopped  his  argument  long  enough  to  take  a  cig- 
arette from  a  black  gun-metal  cigarette  case. 

When  he  had  lit  the  cigarette,  he  said,  even  more  seri- 
ously :  "  But  what  I  am  driving  at,  is  that  a  girl  ought 
to  work  like  a  man,  whether  she's  got  money  or  not.  Of 
course,  if  she  has  got  money,  then  she  can  do  the  things 
that  train  her  mind,  and  don't  bring  in  much  money,  like 
writing,  or  painting  or  languages,  and  be  of  some  serv- 
ice afterwards  by  going  in  for  teaching.  She  could  do 
a  lot  of  good  that  way  and  cut  down  some  of  the  taxes 
that  the  poor  people  have  to  pay  to  help  keep  up  the 
schoolhouses  and  things.  "  Yes,"  he  went  on,  "  society 
girls  are  public  burdens,  and  it's  the  poor  people  that 
pay  for  their  dances  and  suppers." 

"  Then  ought  I  go  to  work?  "  Hagar  asked. 

"  Well,  I  guess  you  really  ought  to.  It  would  give 
you  something  to  do  and  help  out  here  at  the  same 
time." 

It  was  this  conversation  that  gave  Hagar  an  entirely 
new  view  of  her  life. 

Many  times  after  that  she  would  stop  short  to  ask  her- 
self some  question  about  this  new  project.  She  said 
nothing  to  her  mother  about  it,  but  as  the  days  and  weeks 
passed  she  formed  a  firm  resolve. 

Then  there  came  one  day,  a  deeper  reason  for  doing 
so.  This  was  a  conversation  she  overheard  between  her 
mother  and  Mr.  Nealy.  When  brought  down  to  its  full- 
est meaning,  her  future  action  now  meant  the  preserva- 
tion of  happiness  to  the  one  person  in  the  world  whom  she 
loved. 

It  seemed  that  Mrs.  Revelly  had  continued  to  notice 
how  the  face  of  the  man  she  loved  brightened  up  at  Hagar's 
appearance,  and  that  he  became  more  cheerful  and  gayer 
the  moment  the  girl  entered  the  room.  Slowly  she  began 
to  understand  with  a  woman's  instinct  that  Hagar 


Hagar  Revelly  41 

brought  to  him  those  things  which  she  knew  were  passing 
in  herself. 

For  a  time  she  tried  to  rival  the  daughter's  freshness, 
her  vivacity  and  innocence.  One  day  when  Hagar's  arms 
were  around  her  neck,  she  noticed  her  own  thin  wrists  in 
comparison  with  the  girl's.  Thinking  perhaps  his  waning 
affection  was  simply  a  question  of  superficial  beauty,  she 
resolved  to  get  stouter,  and  began  immediately  to  eat 
eggs  in  quantity  and  drink  rich  milk.  But  in  two  or 
three  days  this  so  impaired  her  digestion  that  she  was 
compelled  to  give  it  up.  Then  she  tried  resting  and  mas- 
saging her  body.  Finding  this  quite  unsatisfactory  as 
well  as  expensive,  she  undertook  a  new  treatment  that  she 
had  come  across  in  the  beauty  columns  of  the  newspapers, 
which  consisted  of  rolling  about  on  the  floor;  but  this 
only  strained  and  tired  her. 

And  so  she  gave  up  entirely,  as  a  futile  quest,  this  task 
of  inviting  back  her  youth. 

However,  some  harm  had  been  done.  A  species  of  hys- 
terical resignation  and  unrest  was  left  in  her,  which  made 
her  say  and  do  things,  that  in  the  time  before  she  had  been 
able  to  control.  Fearing  that  she  might  lose  the  man 
she  loved,  her  thoughts  dwelt  incessantly  upon  some  man- 
ner of  prevention. 

She  began  to  use  childish  expressions  and  be  artifi- 
cially joyful  and  vivacious.  It  pained  Nealy  to  witness 
this  hysterical  trait  in  her  and  one  day,  the  day  Hagar 
was  listening  in  the  next  room,  he  very  solemnly  begged 
Mrs.  Revelly  to  leave  off  her  queer  actions. 

"  It  isn't  you,  Rena,"  he  said.  "  And  I  hate  to  see 
you  act  this  way."  He  really  felt  the  pathos  of  it,  and 
was  dimly  conscious  of  the  reason. 

Mrs.  Revelly  said  in  answer  to  his  remark: 

"  You  wouldn't  mind  it  in  Hagar,  John." 

He  looked  at  her  with  some  astonishment. 


48  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Rena !  "  he  exclaimed. 

Then  she  came  over  and  kneeled  on  the  floor  beside  him, 
taking  both  his  hands  and  pressing  them  to  her  lips  for  a 
long  kiss. 

"  John,  you  do  not  love  me  as  much  as  you  did,"  she 
began. 

"  Rena,  please  — " 

She  interrupted  him :  *'  No,  you  do  not  love  me  the 
way  you  did  when  we  used  to  walk  together  under  the 
trees  and  be  silent  for  hours.  Remember  how  you  used 
to  say  that  there  was  a  lover's  hush  let  loose  in  the  air, 
when  we  would  be  so  quiet?  Oh,  no,  dear,  you  don't.  I 
know,  I  feel  —  and  I  see  how  it  is  when  Hagar  is  around. 
Why,  John,  your  eyes  light  up,  then  you  become  droopy 
and  quiet.  Oh,  John,  am  I  not  right  ?  " 

"  Rena,  you  are  a  very  foolish  child  to  talk  this  way. 
You  know  everything  is  as  it  always  was.  Now  what  is 
the  trouble?" 

"  No,  you  don't  understand,"  she  went  on.  "  A  woman 
loves  and  she  can  never  go  backwards  in  her  love.  You 
know  the  quotation :  '  To  him  who  has  acquired  a  taste 
for  wine,  water  is  insipid?  '  Well,  John,  so  is  friendship 
after  love." 

She  seemed  to  break  completely  in  an  instant.  In  a 
hushed,  quavering  voice,  she  said :  "  Oh,  my  God,  John, 
you  don't  know  how  I  love  you,  and  how  it  hurts  me  to  see 
you  look  at  me  with  only  sympathy  and  kindness  in  your 
eye." 

For  a  moment  she  paused.  "  To  tell  the  truth,  John," 
and  her  voice  was  more  steady  now,  "  I  really  have  to  beg 
you  to  stay,  after  Hagar  leaves." 

He  seemed  to  be  a  little  annoyed  at  this.  "  I  wish  you 
wouldn't  be  so  foolish,"  he  said  impulsively. 

"Oh,  I  can't  help  it,  I  feel  it  —  I  know  it,  John,"  she 
cried,  clutching  at  his  folded  hands.  "  You  see  my  wrin- 


Hagar  Revelly  49 

kles  now,  while  Hagar  brings  back  youth  to  you.  If 
you  don't  love  her  now,  it  won't  be  long  before  you  will, 
just  simply  because  she  represents  youth  to  you." 

"  I  won't  answer  you  if  you  talk  like  this."  He  spoke 
impatiently  and  tried  to  loosen  the  hold  of  her  fingers. 

She  went  on,  speaking  in  a  low  hoarse  voice.  And 
the  while  she  talked,  she  searched  the  depths  of  his 
eyes. 

"  John,  I  know  you  are  only  living  up  to  yourself. 
You  haven't  loved  me  since  the  day  you  realized  that  I 
was  no  longer  young.  Tell  me,  John,  I  know  it's  true, 
no  matter  what  you  say,  but  I  want  to  hear  it  from  your 
own  lips.  You  don't  care  —  since  you  realized  that  I  am 
growing  into  an  old  woman,  do  you?  Please,  please,  tell 
me!" 

Nealy's  face  grew  red  now  and  he  became  angry,  say- 
ing :  "  Rena,  I  tell  you  I  won't  talk  to  you  on  such  a 
subject." 

He  rose  impatiently,  but  Mrs.  Revelly  caught  at  his 
arm  and  threw  herself  down  in  a  heap  on  the  floor  at  his 
feet,  crying: 

"  Dear,  you  are  all  I  have,  and  I  feel  you  gradually 
slipping  away  from  me.  Please  understand.  I  see  it  in 
the  way  you  look  at  me.  Yes,  the  way  you  hold  me.  Oh, 
John,  a  woman  can  tell  these  things.  I  see  how  you  get 
color  in  your  face  and  light  in  your  eyes  the  moment  Ha- 
gar comes  into  the  room.  I  guess  it  is  my  luck." 

Nealy  raised  her  head  from  where  she  had  rested  it 
against  his  knees.  He  looked  at  the  throbbing  hot  tem- 
ples. Their  palpitation  seemed  the  more  distressing  be- 
cause of  the  few  covering  strands  of  grey  hair.  And  as 
he  looked  at  the  pale  face  and  felt  the  clutch  of  her  fin- 
gers, he  became  filled  with  a  great  pity  and  regret. 

He  took  her  face  between  his  hands  and  lifted  it  to  a 
level  with  his  eyes.  Then  he  kissed  her  lips,  again  and 


50  Hagar  Revelly 

again,  whispering,  each  time :  "  Rena,  I  do  love  you,  I 
love  only  you.  Don't  be  so  foolish." 

And  the  while  they  were  entering  into  a  state  of  pacifi- 
cation, Hagar  in  the  next  room,  her  head  buried  in 
the  pillows  on  the  bed,  was  sobbing  with  deep  tumultuous 
spasms  that  shook  her  whole  body. 

Standing  guiltily  at  the  door  she  had  listened  to  the 
whole  of  the  conversation. 

"  Oh,  my  poor  mother ! "  she  cried  into  the  pillows  — 
"oh,  my  poor  mother!" 


CHAPTER  VI 

THE  boarding  place  that  Thatah  and  her  father  found 
the  afternoon  after  the  quarrel,  was  a  three-story  brick 
building  that  in  some  former  time  had  probably  been  a 
small  school  or  club. 

This  impression  was  to  be  gained  from  the  lower  floor 
of  the  house,  which  was  separated  into  three  big  rooms, 
each  of  the  same  size  and  appearance.  They  were  large 
and  spacious,  and  in  the  front  room,  which  was  the  better 
furnished,  congregated  the  boarders  after  the  evening 
meal.  Into  this  large  room,  with  its  majestic  palm  trees 
outlined  upon  the  dingy  green  wall  paper,  would  come  the 
ladies  and  gentlemen  of  the  house,  with  the  usual  ranting 
and  gossipy  talk  common  to  a  second-class  boarding  place. 

The  other  two  rooms  on  the  main  floor  were  used  as  a 
dining-room,  and  kitchen. 

It  was  not  Thatah's  fault  that  such  an  uninviting  dom- 
icile held  out  its  gaunt  arms  to  them.  One  of  Professor 
Revelly's  pupils  had  an  aunt  living  here,  a  thin  old  lady, 
who  sympathized  deeply  with  him  and  who,  he  felt,  under- 
stood him.  Also  in  this  vicinity  lived  most  of  his  pupils. 

Moreover,  Revelly  and  Thatah,  after  a  few  hours  of 
house  hunting,  were  glad  to  find  any  place  that  offered 
them  a  decent  home.  Neither  of  them  felt  by  nature 
fitted  to  interview  New  York  landladies  and  the  experi- 
ences they  had,  served  only  to  prove  to  them  their  incom- 
petence. 

At  one  place  on  their  hunt  —  it  was  a  brown  granite 
stone  house  on  Fifty-fourth  Street  —  they  had  an  es- 
pecially disconcerting  adventure. 

51 


5£  Hagar  Revelly 

A  stout  lady  with  tightly  curled  hair  and  aquiline  nose, 
which  stood  out  inquiringly  in  front  of  her  face,  had  an- 
swered their  call.  The  professor  was  quite  disturbed  from 
the  very  first  moment,  when  she  asked  him  in  very  coarse 
tones  what  his  business  was.  When  he  noticed  a  large 
dirty  grease  spot  on  the  front  of  her  apron,  he  wished 
that  they  had  passed  on.  But  he  resolved  to  make  the 
best  of  it  and  very  politely  answered  her. 

"  Who's  the  lady  with  you  ?  "  she  inquired. 

"  My  daughter,  madam,"  he  answered. 

Turning  her  eyes  to  Thatah,  she  glanced  keenly  at  her 
for  a  moment.  The  delicate,  quiet  features  and  shrink- 
ing appearance  of  the  girl,  and  the  man's  dark,  shiny, 
long  coat  and  careless  linen  gave  her  an  entirely  false 
idea. 

She  asked  if  they  were  man  and  wife. 

"  She  is  my  daughter,  madam,"  he  replied  with  dignity. 

"  Well,"  she  answered,  "  I've  just  finished  an  experience 
which  has  been  recorded  in  all  the  newspapers  and  has 
nearly  ruined  my  place." 

And  she  went  on  to  say  that  a  few  days  before,  she  had 
harbored  a  man  and  a  young  girl  whose  appearance  was 
extraordinarily  like  that  of  Thatah  and  her  father,  but 
presently  the  police  had  informed  her,  while  on  a  search 
through  her  rooms,  that  the  man  had  some  evil  influence 
over  the  young  girl  and  had  enticed  her  away  from  some 
great  home  of  luxury.  One  experience  had  been  enough 
for  her. 

"  I  don't  believe  I  can  take  any  more  chances,"  she 
said,  looking  Revelly  full  in  the  face.  "  You  better  go 
to  some  other  place." 

The  door  was  closed  with  an  unkind  jar. 

Revelly,  puzzled  and  hurt,  but  hardly  angry,  stood 
still  for  a  moment  and  then  went  down  the  steps  with  the 
perplexed  Thatah  tugging  at  his  side. 


Hagar  Revelly  53 

"  What  did  the  woman  say  ?  "  she  asked.  "  I  stood  too 
far  back  to  hear." 

"  Nothing,  don't  ask  me." 

"  But  she  said  something,  father ;  something  that  hurt 
you,  too." 

He  quickened  his  pace  so  that  she  could  hardly  keep 
up  with  him,  and  Thatah  ceased  her  questioning  and 
mildly  followed  him. 

It  was  after  such  an  experience  that  they  were  glad  to 
find  at  last  at  Mrs.  Neer's,  a  place  where  they  were  wel- 
comed. 

The  first  night  at  the  new  abode  interested  Thatah 
greatly.  There  were  a  half  dozen  persons  at  the  table, 
besides  Mrs.  Neer  and  her  granddaughter,  a  young  girl 
of  twelve  years,  and  it  did  not  take  Thatah  very  long 
after  she  had  sat  down  beside  her  father,  to  conclude  that 
these  people  were  typical  denizens  of  a  boarding  house. 

There  was  an  actress,  Miss  Darcy,  who  sang  in  the 
chorus  of  a  popular  musical  show,  and  who  wore  a  sailor 
suit  and  dressed  very  simply. 

At  night  she  came  home  soon  after  the  performance 
and  read  in  her  room,  which  was  thought  to  be  a  wonder- 
ful example  of  resistance  against  temptation.  Thatah 
discovered  before  long  that  everyone  used  Miss  Darcy  as 
a  model  for  the  chorus  ladies  of  the  world.  But  she  was 
not  beautiful  and  not  young  any  more  and  she  had  a  very 
large  nose.  This  might  have  been  the  reason  for  her 
virtuous  life. 

Another  woman,  Mrs.  Cortello,  was  indirectly  of  Span- 
ish nobility.  Her  husband  had  died  of  broken  spirit  after 
a  New  York  business  venture,  and  she  was  compelled  to 
sell  transfer  paintings  for  chinaware. 

When  Mrs.  Neer  told  the  history  of  this  woman  to 
them,  Thatah  unconsciously  exclaimed :  "  Is  that  all  she 
works .' 


54  Hagar  Revelly 

That  first  evening,  a  young  man  at  Thatah's  side  at 
table  informed  her  that  Madame  Cortello  was  also  a  poet- 
ess. He  showed  her,  handed  along  with  the  bread  plate, 
four  lines  of  poetry  the  woman  had  written  for  some 
magazine.  The  youth  told  her  that  these  lines  meant  to 
him  his  life,  as  they  expressed  the  exact  feeling  in  which 
he  held  the  girl  he  was  courting  and  would  some  day 
marry. 

The  fellow  was  a  clerk  in  a  patent  medicine  house  that 
dealt  exclusively  in  mail  orders,  and,  as  he  explained,  he 
had  come  to  New  York  full  of  sentiment  and  ambition 
and  was  determined  to  lose  neither  of  these  two  qualities. 
Mrs.  Cortello,  he  said,  was  a  great  inspiration  to  him. 
But  Thatah  was  not  moved  by  his  enthusiasm  and  even 
from  that  first  evening,  the  smile  and  manner  of  Mrs. 
Cortello  roused  her  intense  antagonism. 

After  dinner  the  father  and  daughter  lingered  as  long 
as  they  thought  necessary  to  show  regard  for  the  others. 
Then  they  stole  quietly  up  to  their  two  little  rooms  at 
the  top  of  the  house. 

The  larger  of  them  —  a  bedroom  and  sitting  room 
in  one  —  was  decorated  modestly  and  with  a  certain  com- 
fort. Thatah's  room  which  adjoined,  was  much  smaller; 
there  was  a  long  diagonal  crack  in  the  ceiling  paper  and 
a  dirty  threadbare  rug  on  the  floor  at  the  side  of  her 
bed,  but  somehow  to  her  girlish  eyes,  the  large  window 
set  with  geranium  plants  made  up  for  all  these  blemishes. 

"  We'll  make  my  room  the  sitting  room,  Thatah,"  said 
her  father,  as  he  walked  over  and  opened  a  window. 

She  did  not  answer,  but  to  the  professor's  great  sur- 
prise, threw  herself  lengthwise  across  the  bed,  and  begai? 
to  cry. 

"  Don't,  child,"  he  said  kindly,  and  ,/ithout  question, 
for  he  understood  something  of  the  reason  for  her  un- 
happiness, 


Hagar  Revelly  55 

\ 

But  she  let  loose  all  her  inner  feelings,  crying  out: 
"  Oh,  God,  I  can't  stand  it  here." 

"  You  mustn't  be  like  this,  Thatah,"  said  he,  with 
some  evidence  of  control  in  his  own  voice.  "  What  is  the 
matter?" 

Rather  hysterically,  she  went  on,  "  Oh,  father,  just 
think  what  we  have  come  to." 

"  At  any  rate,  we  are  together,  dear,"  Revelly  said, 
to  soothe  her. 

Thatah  tried  to  check  her  tears  a  little,  blaming  herself 
that  by  her  lack  of  self  control  she  had  increased  his  un- 
happiness.  But  only  after  some  time  was  she  entirely 
quiet  again. 

"  You  mustn't  give  way  to  yourself  like  this,  child.  I 
know  it's  pretty  colorless  here,  but  it  will  be  all  right. 
You  must  wait  and  see."  He  petted  her  soft,  white  hand. 
"  It  will  be  better  to-morrow.  The  first  night,  you  know. 
We  must  expect  to  feel  strange  at  first." 

"  But  these  terrible  people,  father !  How  will  we  hold 
out?  " 

"  Wait  till  you  know  them.  They  surely  have  their 
good  traits,  too.  Yes,  we  must  be  patient,  Thatah." 

From  a  room  across  the  alley  way  came  sounds  of  a 
coarse,  popular  melody,  reluctantly  driven  from  a  clang- 
ing piano.  It  floated  in  to  them  on  the  thick,  summer 
air,  and  Thatah,  somewhat  quieted  now,  walked  over  and 
lifted  the  shade. 

Directly  across  the  passageway  in  the  house  which 
backed  up  against  them,  she  could  see  a  stupid  looking  fel- 
low pounding  vigorously  upon  the  keyboard,  while  back  of 
him,  were  two  others,  with  their  hands  on  his  shoulders. 
All  were  bellowing  with  huge  strength,  when  the  one 
standing  nearest  the  window  noticed  her,  and  called  the 
attention  of  the  others.  Then  all  stopped  their  music 
and  came  over  to  greet  her. 


56  Hagar  Revelly 

With  an  angry  jerk,  Thatah  pulled  down  the  shade  and 
ran  from  the  window. 

The  incident  dispirited  her  again  for  a  time,  and  it  was 
not  until  late  in  the  evening,  when  her  father  gathered 
together  the  score  of  a  new  symphony  which  the  orchestra 
was  to  rehearse  in  the  morning,  that  her  mood  was  light- 
ened. Then  she  rose  from  the  bed  and  seated  herself  near 
him,  watching  him  as  he  gathered  the  sheets  together, 
content  —  as  he  always  was  when  handling  manuscript 
of  important  scores. 

"  This  is  like  old  times,  after  all,  Thatah.  At  last 
there  is  peace,"  he  said  slowly. 

"  Yes,"  she  answered,  but  as  she  looked  into  his  face 
she  was  shocked.  It  might  have  been  the  reflection  of  the 
light,  but  there  seemed  a  new  hollowness  about  his  eyes 
and  a  gaunt,  empty  expression  round  his  mouth. 

"  Oh,  I  do  hope  you  will  be  happy  here,  father,"  she 
cried,  impulsively  putting  her  arms  around  his  neck. 

Later  as  she  lay  in  her  quiet  little  room,  staring  with 
wide-open  eyes  out  of  the  window,  her  earlier  mood  of  dis- 
couragement returned.  She  thought  of  what  her  life 
was  giving  her  just  now,  of  how  the  plans  she  had 
made  for  herself,  the  desires  and  wishes  and  little  builded 
dreams,  were  fading  into  a  sordid  present. 

She  marvelled  at  the  ability  she  showed  to  go  on  un- 
ceasingly in  the  same  routine,  doing  over  the  same  mo- 
notonous things  and  never  letting  anyone  discover  the 
real  yearning  for  happiness  that  lay  within  her. 

On  the  following  morning,  the  arrangement  for  separa- 
tion was  drawn  up  between  her  parents. 

Thatah  never  forgot  her  father's  appearance  on  that 
day.  When  they  informed  him  that  he  must  give  part 
of  his  earnings  to  his  wife,  he  was  stricken  speechless  with 
astonishment.  The  lines  of  surprise  that  came  to  his  face, 
when  he  realized  that  he  must  still  work  for  this  woman, 


Hagar  Revelly  57 

remained  indelibly  in  Thatah's  memory  for  many 
months. 

That  was  a  hard  day  for  both  of  them.  Professor 
Revelly  was  so  humbled  by  the  hand  of  the  law  that  his 
submission  was  pathetic. 

As  they  passed  out  between  the  chairs  in  the  lawyer's 
office,  he  whispered  to  Thatah :  "  She's  rid  of  us,  she's 
rid  of  us." 

Thatah  answered :     "  Yes,  we're  lucky,  father." 

But  though  she  spoke  laughingly,  she  prayed  that 
something  might  come  to  her  father  that  would  make  him 
strong  like  other  men.  He  was,  at  that  moment,  so  de- 
jected and  rusty  looking.  He  reminded  her  of  something 
broken,  neglected  and  worn  out. 

That  day  she  saw  plainly  the  path  that  lay  in  front 
of  her.  There  seemed  no  way  of  avoiding  her  fate.  Her 
father  was  lonely  and  isolated  and  it  was  her  duty  to 
stay  by  him  all  his  life.  That  was  how  it  would  go  on, 
she  told  herself. 

In  the  days  that  followed,  Eman  Revelly  was  overtaken 
by  queer  spells  of  brooding  and  meditation.  It  did  not 
take  long  for  the  boarders  and  Mrs.  Neer  to  understand 
that  he  was  an  eccentric,  whom  it  was  best  to  leave  un- 
molested. He  said  so  many  things  that  came  strange  to 
their  mediocre  understanding. 

Far  better  would  it  have  been,  had  he  understood  their 
low  caste  of  intelligence  and  left  his  philosophies  to  smoul- 
der within  him,  unworded.  He  could  not  do  this,  how- 
ever, and  in  a  few  weeks,  by  one  way  or  another,  he  had 
made  himself  to  the  minds  of  each  of  them,  a  strange  and 
unbalanced  man.  Such  an  one  they  had  never  met. 

Meantime,  came  a  new  problem  —  the  question  of  fi- 
nances. The  court  had  decided  that  until  a  divorce  was 
granted  seventy-five  dollars  a  month  was  to  be  given  the 
wife.  The  orchestra  brought  in  only  one  hundred  and 


58  Hagar  Revelly 

twenty-five  dollars,  and  his  pupils  about  twenty-five  more, 
so  only  seventy-five  was  left  for  them.  Out  of  this  must 
come  all  their  expenses,  and  after  paying  Mrs.  Neer 
fifty-two  dollars  for  the  two  rooms  and  their  board, 
the  balance,  they  found,  was  not  enough  to  pay  for  their 
laundry,  clothes  and  carfare.  To  add  to  their  difficulties, 
one  of  his  pupils  was  able  to  pay  only  every  six  months, 
because  the  aunt  who  was  educating  her,  received  her  dead 
husband's  pension  in  that  way  from  the  Indian  service. 

It  seemed  essential  that  they  find  some  road  out,  and, 
after  a  period  of  indecision,  the  Professor  realized 
the  only  thing  was  to  find  employment  for  Thatah. 
Before  he  spoke  to  her,  however,  he  questioned  himself 
incessantly.  It  really  seemed  to  him  a  right  course,  even 
from  Thatah's  individual  point  of  view,  for  there  was 
nothing  else  she  could  do,  and  she  certainly  could  not 
spend  her  days  indefinitely  sitting  alone  in  her  room.  Yet 
he  hated  to  suggest  that  she  should  go  out  and  work  for 
money  —  to  him  she  seemed  still  a  little  girl. 

He  put  off  speaking  to  her  from  day  to  day,  always 
waiting  for  an  opportune  moment,  a  moment  when  she  was 
not  too  sad  nor  too  gay. 

Finally  one  night  he  summoned  up  enough  courage  to 
open  the  subject.  In  soft,  nearly  broken  tones,  he  told 
her  that  she  had  probably  realized  it  was  not  good  for 
her  to  be  so  much  alone.  He  had  been  watching  her 
lately,  he  said,  and  had  noticed  that  it  was  having  an 
effect  upon  her.  Also  he  wanted  her  to  dress  better  and 
go  out  more.  And  an  easy  way  of  solving  the  problem 
was  for  her  to  occupy  her  mind  with  some  kind  of  work. 
Moreover,  it  would  bring  in  a  few  dollars  and  make  them 
happier.  Then,  he  told  her,  he  had  been  fortunate  in 
securing  for  her  a  position  in  the  bureau  of  the  opera 
house.  It  wouldn't  be  hard  work  and  she  required  no 
other  training  than  her  intelligence. 


Hagar  Revelly  59 

She  took  it  very  quietly,  and  seemed  scarcely  to  notice 
what  he  had  said,  only  asking  when  her  work  would  start. 

While  this  attitude  of  hers  relieved  the  old  man,  it  dis- 
tressed him,  too;  with  so  much  to  fight  and  endure,  it 
seemed  hard  that  Thatah  should  be  indifferent  and  apa- 
thetic. 

This  was  indeed  a  trying  time  for  the  unhappy,  broken 
musician.  Things  were  not  going  too  well  for  him,  even 
at  the  orchestra,  and  he  found  himself  constantly  pictur- 
ing the  darkest  outcome  for  the  future.  He  became  very 
nervous  and  was  unable  to  give  his  mind  any  rest.  Night 
after  night  he  was  attacked  in  the  same  manner,  his 
thoughts  making  his  brain  revolve  and  labor  like  some 
mechanical  thing. 

Being  unable  to  sleep  one  early  morning,  he  sat  drow- 
sily in  his  chair,  looking  past  the  stone  ledge  of  the  win- 
dow down  into  the  street.  Sitting  there,  he  saw  a  huge 
automobile,  like  some  big  black  bug,  crawl  around  the 
corner.  It  served  to  throw  him  into  a  chain  of  reveries 
about  his  own  lack  of  enjoyment  of  the  world's  gifts, 
made  him  think  of  the  insuperable  chasm  that  separated 
him  from  this  sort  of  life.  For  hours,  he  sat  there,  mut- 
tering to  himself. 

Such  spells  as  these  became  very  frequent  with  him. 
Every  inanimate  thing  seemed  to  bring  some  significant 
question  to  his  mind. 

He  thought  a  great  deal  about  his  wife  at  these  times 
and  how  easily  she  appeared  to  find  happiness. 

One  day  he  mentioned  this  to  Thatah.  And  she  an- 
swered: "Well,  father,  isn't  it  best  to  take  life  easy? 
If  everybody  was  as  serious  as  you,  no  one  would  be 
happy." 

"  But  they  are  wrong,"  he  argued.  "  One  must  work 
for  real  happiness." 

"  Their  happiness  has  the  same  value  to  them,  hasn't 


60  'Hagar  Revelly 

it  ?  "  she  asked.  "  It  seems  to  me  happiness  could  only 
be  the  one  thing." 

He  appeared  discouraged  by  her  light-hearted  view  of 
his  mood,  and  told  her  that  she  must  take  such  questions 
more  seriously.  "  Happiness  only  takes  its  value  from 
the  things  by  which  you  measure  it.  We  have  to  labor 
and  have  sorrow  to  gain  the  real  thing." 

Thatah  noticed  how  his  earnestness  was  affecting 
him.  "  Please,  father,  let's  talk  of  different  things,"  she 
begged. 

But  he  went  on.  "  No,  Thatah,  it  is  good  for  you  to 
know.  I  want  you  to  learn  the  real  value  in  life."  He 
continued  to  say  that  one  yearns  for  the  unattainable 
during  the  first  half  of  his  years  and  mourns  for  it  there- 
after. "  The  old  ambitions  become  less  acute,"  he  said ; 
"  the  new  ones  less  frequent.  It  is  only  the  need  of  com- 
panionship that  becomes  exaggerated  as  time  passes.** 

As  he  talked,  Thatah  became  more  interested,  for  he 
delved  back  into  his  own  life,  telling  how  a  little  fellow  of 
twelve,  with  his  violin  and  piano,  grew  into  the  lad  of 
twenty. 

"  I,  too,  have  had  my  measures  for  valuation.  In  those 
days  everyone  told  me  how  great  a  musician  I  was.  I  be- 
came encouraged,  and  left  the  violin,  to  which  I  had  de- 
voted myself,  and  went  back  to  the  piano,  feeling  that  I 
must  perfect  myself  on  that,  too." 

He  described  to  Thatah  how  he  had  played  at  the 
Vienna  Orchestral  Hall  a  passionate,  throbbing  Brahms 
Capriccio.  It  was  his  first  public  appearance. 

"  I  was  only  twenty-two,  then,"  he  continued,  "  and  the 
happiness  of  that  day  brings  back  to  me  youth,  whenever 
I  think  of  it.  And  when  I  played  a  little  Chopin  Etude 
for  an  encore,  how  they  all  clapped  and  applauded ! " 

He  dropped  back  in  his  chair.  "  Now,  look  at  me ! " 
he  cried.  And  for  a  little  he  was  silent. 


Hagar  Revelly  61 

Suddenly  he  got  up,  went  to  his  trunk  and  lifted  from 
one  of  its  trays  a  huge  bundle  of  manuscript. 

"  Thatah,"  he  began,  "  I  want  to  tell  you  a  story. 
Something  I  have  never  told  anyone."  He  gently  untied 
the  bundle  of  papers.  "  Here  is  a  symphony,  *  Gwenola 
Days  ' —  you  see  I  call  it.  It's  a  monument  to  my  youth 
in  Vienna." 

Handling  it  daintily,  as  if  it  were  a  piece  of  fragile 
lace,  he  took  the  different  sheets,  one  by  one,  and  studied 
them,  bowing  his  head  over  them  and  saying :  "  Each 
little  note  was  a  hope,  my  dear  girl." 

For  a  time  he  was  silent,  then  continued,  softly,  "  It's 
like  a  fairy  tale,  too.  Only,  the  giant  ogre  in  the  final 
chapter  gets  swallowed  by  the  dwarf." 

As  he  talked,  he  became  more  calm  and  at  last  settled 
in  to  tell  the  story. 

"  I  was  only  twenty  at  the  time,  and  my  parents  kept 
me  very  close  to  the  piano  and  violin.  In  the  morning  I 
was  up  at  six,  then  a  little  breakfast  and  practice  until 
midday.  In  the  afternoon,  a  lesson  from  Herr  Mancker, 
my  master,  and  then  a  walk  in  the  park  with  my  uncle, 
who  lived  with  us.  That  was  the  way  my  days  passed. 

"  You  see,  they  were  preparing  me  for  a  great  career 
as  a  virtuoso.  Ah,  those  days !  It  seemed  preordained 
that  I  was  to  become  great,  too.  So  they  said,  at  any 
rate,  and  I  was  the  clay  model  in  their  hands,  to  do  with 
as  they  wished. 

"  We  would  walk  and  talk  of  my  tour  to  America,  we 
sometimes  even  counted  the  money  I  would  make.  Then 
sometimes  I  would  be  on  my  dignity  with  my  parents. 
*  No,'  I  would  assert,  *  I  shall  not  stay  in  America.  I 
will  come  back  to  Europe  and  build  a  fine  big  stone  villa, 
all  white  and  splendid.  It  will  set  out  into  the  water 
some  place,  like  Chillon,  and  there  I  will  work  in  the  sum- 
mers and  live  with  my  princess.' 


62  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Yes,  I  had  a  princess,  Thatah ;  my  uncle  named  her 
princess  the  first  time  we  saw  her.  Every  day,  we  met 
them,  she,  and  a  woman  of  about  thirty-five,  They 
seemed  to  have  selected  the  same  hour  in  the  park,  for  we 
always  met  them  and  in  usually  the  same  place.  She 
was  pretty,  Thatah,  a  good  deal  like  you.  She  had  soft, 
white  skin,  and  light  hair,  and  the  daintiest,  sad  little 
mouth.  We  would  see  each  other  coming  in  the  distance 
and  I  felt  that  she  saw  me,  too,  although  when  we  passed, 
lier  eyes  were  always  searching  the  ground. 

"  That  went  on  for  weeks.  It  was  bashfulness  on  my 
part,  or  else  fear  that  my  uncle  would  discover  the  queer 
little  thrills  which  surged  through  me  at  sight  of  her, 
that  kept  me  from  being  more  brazen. 

"  One  day  we  came  upon  them  at  a  turn  of  the  path 
and  for  the  first  time  our  glances  met.  She  looked  at 
me.  I  blushed  hotly.  I  was  conscious  of  a  throbbing 
joy  that  was  very  new  to  me.  And  like  a  coward  I  looked 
away." 

The  musician  paused  to  tell  Thatah  that  there  was 
something  in  him  that  always  made  him  hesitate  at  im- 
portant moments. 

"  I  believe  I  should  run  away  if  they  told  me  my  sym- 
phony was  to  be  played,"  he  said.  "  There  is  something 
in  me  that  makes  me  fear  to  hear  good  news.  Perhaps 
it  is  the  unbelief  I  have  in  my  good  fortune 
Well,  I  looked  up  again,  just  to  catch  her  eyes  as  she  too 
looked  up.  I  saw  that  I  was  not  mistaken  in  thinking 
that  she  had  recognized  me.  Her  face  grew  red  and 
white  at  that  instant.  I  was  sure  of  it. 

"  '  Uncle,'  I  cried,  when  they  had  passed  us.  *  Who 
is  she,  that  girl,  who  is  she?  ' 

"  *  Sie  ist  hiibsch,  unsere  prinzessin,  nicht  wahr  ? '  he 
answered. 

"  *  Gott ! '  I  cried,  '  sie  ist  wunderbahr.'     And  I  turned 


Hagar  Revelly  63 

in  the  road  and  studied  the  place  where  our  eyes  had  met. 
It  was  strange,  strange,  Thatah. 

"  '  Oh,  why  didn't  I  say  something ! '  I  cried.  *  I  could 
have  dared.  Why  didn't  I  say  "  Good  morning,  Frau- 
lein," —  anything.  Oh,  why  didn't  I  say  it,'  I  begged  in 
agony  of  my  uncle. 

"  At  least  I  had  not.  It  is  that  way  in  life.  The 
thing  that  is  most  worth  having  to  you,  the  thing  for 
which  you  have  yearned,  comes  to  you  so  suddenly,  that 
you  dare  not  grasp  it. 

"  For  three  weeks  I  had  dreamed  of  her,  had  talked 
to  her  in  my  fancies.  And  now  when  I  met  her,  my  cour- 
age had  forsaken  me. 

"  After  that  she  came  no  more  to  the  park.  The 
companion  had  probably  noticed,  or  she  had  gone  away, 
or  I  had  hurt  her.  Oh,  I  had  a  hundred  reasons  for  her 
staying  away. 

"  Then,  one  afternoon,  it  was  a  year  afterwards,  I 
played  with  the  symphony  orchestra  at  one  of  their  usual 
popular  concerts.  I  played  a  sad,  melancholy  Chopin 
Polonaise  Fantasie. 

"  To  one  the  piece  was  filled  with  thoughts  of  suffering 
and  gloom  and  that  day  I  felt  it  indeed  as  I  played.  For 
my  father  had  been  taken  ill  the  Friday  night  before, 
and  at  the  same  time  my  master  had  told  me  that  I  must 
give  up  my  violin  if  I  wished  to  do  solo  work,  as  it  was 
ruining  my  fingers.  I  remember  as  I  sat  down  at  the 
piano  that  I  encountered  my  master's  eye.  He  had 
probably  noticed  my  feelings  and  he  gave  me  a  little  nod 
of  encouragement.  But  he  had  been  mean  enough  to  me 
before  I  went  on  to  the  stage.  '  Play  with  feeling,  for 
God's  sake,'  he  had  begged  of  me.  '  You  are  a  music 
box,  a  cinematograph. 

"  I  was  at  the  piano.  I  was  nervous.  It  was  the 
biggest  thing  I  had  yet  attempted  and  the  cruel  words 


64  Hagar  Revelly 

of  my  master  tormented  me.  When  I  was  about  to  begin, 
all  alone  on  that  great  big  platform  with  the  musicians 
of  the  orchestra  sitting  quietly  back  of  me,  I  felt  like 
a  sickly  stripling. 

"  I  thought  of  Goethe's  '  Nur  wer  die  Sehnsucht  kennt.' 
Strangely  it  gave  me  some  strength.  My  hands  went 
down  to  the  keys  for  the  opening  cadenza.  .  .  . 

"  They  told  me  afterwards  that  I  played  well.  My 
professor  took  me  by  the  shoulders,  and  shook  me.  '  Du,' 
he  cried,  *  you  youngster,  you  will  play  yet  some  day.* 
Ah,  those  were  very  sweet  words,  Thatah. 

"  They  were  still  clapping  their  hands  out  in  front, 
I  heard  a  few  bravos;  and  I  walked  back  onto  the  stage, 
bowed  gravely,  mechanically,  three  times,  as  they  told 
me  I  must  do.  I  followed  their  instructions.  And  then, 
right  down  there  in  front  of  me,  in  the  first  rows,  a  spot 
of  blue  caught  my  eyes.  It  seemed  to  stand  out,  my 
eyes  were  caught  and  held  by  it.  I  can't  explain  how 
my  youthful  heart  beat.  It  was  my  princess  again. 

"  I  waited  till  the  concert  was  over,  and  then  hurried 
around  to  the  front  of  the  house.  '  This  time  I  won't 
lose  her,'  I  said  to  myself.  No,  not  if  there  were  a  dozen 
companions  with  her. 

"  She  came  out  nearly  among  the  last.  By  her  side 
was  the  same  woman.  I  walked  directly  up  to  them. 
*  Did  you  enjoy  the  fantasie?'  I  asked. 

"  *  Oh,'  she  said,  as  she  gave  a  little  start.  And  then 
what  made  me  fall  more  deeply  in  love  than  ever  was  that 
she  made  no  excuses  for  talking  to  me. 

*' '  I  enjoyed  it  so  much,'  she  said,  seriously.  Then, 
turning  to  the  woman  by  her  side,  *  Herr  Revelly,  this  is 
Mme.  Klochert.  My  name  is  Gwenola  Sabruya,'  she 
added  sweetly. 

"  When  she  mentioned  my  name  I  felt  as  if  I  were  lifted 
to  another  world  by  her  lips,  Thatah. 


Hagar  Revelly  65 

"  I  met  her  in  the  park  the  next  morning  at  the  usual 
time.  Mme.  Klochert  was  a  kind  woman  and  let  us  have 
many  sweet  moments  alone.  It  went  on  for  nearly  a 
month.  Every  day  I  would  meet  her,  we  would  talk  and 
be  silent  together,  and  every  day  my  heart  was  filled  with 
ecstatic  happiness.  In  the  middle  of  the  night,  I  would 
sit  up  questioning  myself,  for  its  reality. 

"  Then  —  there  came  the  beginning  of  sadness.  My 
tower  of  dreams  was  dashed  to  the  ground.  A  little  note 
from  Mme.  Klochert  told  me  that  they  could  not  see  me 
again.  She  was  very  sorry,  she  said,  but  that  day  they 
would  depart  for  a  little  holiday  in  Aix-les-Bains,  and 
then  they  would  go  back  to  Rome.  But  I  could  not  see 
them  in  Rome,  because  there  '  Mademoiselle  was  under 
other  obligations.'  They  would  always  pray  for  my  fu- 
ture. 

"  I  found  out  the  truth.  She  was  the  daughter  of  a 
lady  of  the  court,  while  I  was  a  musician,  albeit  my  music 
was  '  wonderful.'  This  rang  to  the  last  chime  my  unhap- 
piness. 

"  A  week  later,  my  father  died  under  the  illness  that 
had  kept  him  in  bed  for  a  month.  I  had  to  take  pupils. 
There  were  four  of  us,  two  sisters  and  my  brother,  and  I 
had  to  work  to  earn  money.  It  was  different  now.  No 
more  applause,  no  dreams,  no  more  Chopin ;  for  I  had  to 
give  up  the  piano  now  —  but  I  could  not  play  Chopin 
after  she  left  me,  anyway. 

"  That  was  the  end,  Thatah,  and  my  romantic  mind 
suffered  terribly.  I  likened  myself  to  Byron,  to  Heine,  to 
Chopin  himself  —  I  suffered  with  despair.  My  flower  had 
died  before  .  had  smelled  of  its  fragrance. 

"  That  night  I  stole  out  to  the  edge  of  the  town  and 
there,  lying  flat  on  my  back,  on  the  soft  grass,  watched 
the  red  of  the  sun  fade  into  the  horizon  and  blend  with 
the  grey  and  blue  of  the  evening  sky.  Every  star  that 


66  Hagar  Revelly 

twinkled  brought  to  me  a  message  of  lost  success  and 
happiness. 

"  Oh,  Thatah,"  he  continued,  "  you  think  it  makes  no 
difference  when  you  have  these  youthful  dreams?  But 
it  makes  a  great  difference.  Love  remains  unchanged 
through  life,  everything  else  changes  but  that.  Only  in 
youth,  we  are  brave,  strong,  and  we  dash  ourselves  against 
the  stone  walls,  not  minding  at  that  time  if  we  bruise  or 
wound  ourselves.  It  is  fine,  though,"  his  eyes  brightened 
with  the  thought.  "  We  are  innocent,  our  senses  are 
dulled,  our  intelligence  is  numbed,  and  we  are  entranced 
as  if  by  some  wonderful  reality.  .  .  . 

"  Well,  I  came  to  America,"  he  went  on.  "  I  had  nearly 
completed  the  *  Gwenola  Symphony '  by  this  time  and  a 
contract  that  I  had  made  with  an  orchestral  society  here 
in  New  York  made  it  fairly  easy  for  me  to  come  over. 

"  After  a  year  I  met  a  young  American  girl,  your 
mother,  and  married  her.  She  was  not  of  German  par- 
entage, nor  was  she  musical,  but  we  were  very  happy  to- 
gether for  a  time.  Her  name  was  Rena  Gibson,  and  I 
thought  that  in  her  I  had  found  the  fulfilment  of  the 
other,  the  girl  in  Rome.  -But  it  was  not  to  be,  Thatah," 
—  he  turned  his  eyes  to  the  floor  — "  for  you,  better  than 
anyone  else,  know  what  our  marriage  has  been." 


CHAPTER  VII 

IT  was  only  a  day  or  two  later  that  Thatah  went  to  her 
father's  bookcase  and  in  a  book  came  across  a  line  that 
seemed  to  have  been  written  for  her.  It  was  the  first 
time  she  had  ever  dared  to  delve  into  the  Professor's  li- 
brary. He  had  often  warned  her  that  his  books  were  too 
deep  and  unhappy  for  her.  "  Read  some  of  the  American 
writers,  for  a  year  or  two  yet,"  he  would  say. 

"  But  I  thought  you  wanted  me  to  learn  real  values,'* 
she  would  argue. 

"  Yes,  but  I  don't  want  you  to  plunge  too  deeply  into 
the  truth  at  the  beginning." 

And  he  would  bring  home  to  her  a  novel  that  told  per- 
chance of  a  silly  love-affair  between  a  man  and  woman, 
where  to  win  the  maiden,  the  hero  disguised  himself  as  a 
plumber  and  stole  her  off  in  his  wagon,  along  with  the 
tools  and  lead  pots. 

She  saw  that  she  could  not  dare  to  let  him  know  what 
really  lay  buried  within  her,  that  she  could  not  let  him  un- 
derstand that  she  too  had  her  thoughts.  It  would  make 
him  wonder  and  become  unhappier,  she  told  herself,  if 
he  knew  how  she  suffered,  and  how  she  hated  life. 

Neither  could  she  tell  him  that  the  thing  that  kept 
her  so  resigned  and  calm  was  not  that  she  lacked  under- 
standing but  that  she  had  solved  the  problem  of  living. 
She  laughed  at  her  own  audacity  as  she  thought  of  it. 

Her  philosophy  was  this:  There  was  only  one  thing 
in  life  to  have,  and  that  was  the  thing  one  wanted  most. 

Days,  weeks,  years,  made  no  difference,  for  so  soon  as 

67 


68  Hagar  Revelly 

one  understood  what  it  was  one  wanted,  one  need  only 
fight  to  get  it.  And  there  was  nothing  to  have  after  that 
but  the  enjoyment  of  it.  So  what  difference  was  there 
if  one  was  twenty  or  fifty  years  old? 

It  was  this  philosophy  that  had  made  her  forget  about 
time  and  only  wait  for  the  great  thing  to  happen.  She 
wasn't  really  sure  what  the  great  thing  was.  Sometimes, 
in  the  dead  of  the  night,  she  decided  it  was  the  love  of 
some  good  man.  Again  she  thought  it  would  be  to  be- 
come a  great  writer,  or  a  musician,  or  a  worker  among 
the  poor.  It  would  probably  be  the  last,  she  thought, 
because  she  was  not  prepared  for  the  others. 

In  this  state  of  mind  she  had  gone  to  the  little  bookcase, 
not  looking  for  anything  other  than  diversion,  and  when 
she  saw  such  long  queer  names:  Nietzsche,  Strindberg, 
Ibsen,  Stirner,  Hauptman,  Tolstoy,  she  quite  decided  to 
leave  them  secure  in  their  resting  places.  She  was  so 
attracted,  however,  by  one  weird  title,  that  she  took  down 
the  little  book.  The  title  suited  her  exactly.  It  was 
something  light,  she  fancied,  and  she  was  so  sad.  "  Gay 
Science  "  by  Nietzsche. 

But  the  very  first  lines  she  glanced  over  seemed  to 
strike  her  a  queer  blow  in  the  heart  that  made  her  throb 
and  flutter.  Then  she  went  further  and  read  something 
which  though  it  mocked  her,  sickened  her  even,  seemed 
to  make  her  every  previous  thought  clear  and  definable. 
The  lines  seemed  to  tell  the  real  truth.  The  words  stood 
out  in  front  of  her  eyes: 

"  This  life,  as  thou  livest  it  now,  and  hast  lived  it,  Thou 
shalt  have  to  live  over  again,  and  not  once  but  innumerable 
times;  and  there  will  be  nothing  new  in  it,  but  every  pain  and 
every  pleasure,  and  every  thought  and  sigh,  and  everything  in 
life,  the  great  and  the  unspeakably  petty  alike,  must  come  again 
to  thee,  and  all  in  the  same  series  and  succession  .  .  ." 


Hagar  Revelly  69 

Thatah  put  the  book  down,  for  her  eyes  had  filled  with 
tears.  After  all,  the  little  philosophy  she  had  constructed 
had  only  been  built  to  fool  herself.  Of  course,  every- 
thing was  empty,  her  own  life,  her  father's,  her  mother's, 
Mrs.  Neer's.  What  did  they  live  for?  What  this  great 
man  said  was  the  truth  about  life. 

Thatah  took  the  little  book  in  her  arms  and  carried  it 
to  her  room,  as  if  it  were  precious  and  might  drop  and 
be  broken.  Locking  the  door  after  her,  she  sat  on  the 
bed,  with  her  legs  crossed  under  her,  and  read,  devouring 
with  beating  pulse  all  the  burning  irony  of  her  discovery. 

The  finding  of  this  book  opened  a  new  life  for  her. 
She  was  always  happier  now  and  felt  a  pity  for  those 
poor  people  about  her  who  were  sp  ignorant.  She  be- 
came kind  to  them  and  put  herself  out  in  little  ways  to 
please  them. 

And  then  began  for  her  a  period  of  self -questioning,  of 
searching  for  something  that  was  realler  than  what  she 
knew.  It  was  like  taking  her  inside-self,  the  self  she  had 
kept  from  her  mother  and  father,  and  putting  it  into  some 
deep  box,  and  then  looking  down  at  it.  In  her  ears  had 
been  poured  words  that  told  her  that  she  was  odd  and 
different  —  her  father  had  called  her  his  "  vildes  kind." 
Now  she  had  found  the  explanation. 

Thatah  was  happy  those  days.  In  the  evening  she 
talked  to  her  father  of  his  music,  his  work  for  to-morrow, 
anything  —  to  be  able  to  get  back  to  her  room  and  live 
in  her  books  again. 

In  one  book  she  found  a  mention  of  the  friendship  be- 
tween Turgenief  and  Flaubert;  odd  stirring  names  for 
her.  She  went  to  the  public  library  and  when  the  girl 
back  of  the  desk  handed  to  her  "  Mme.  Bovary,"  the  name 
written  on  her  slip,  Thatah  noticed  that  she  stopped  to 
eye  her.  At  least  Thatah  felt  conscious  the  girl  was  do- 


70  Hagar  Revelly 

ing  this,  and  she  slipped  out  of  the  place  as  though  guilty 
of  some  wrong  act. 

But  she  cared  very  little.  "  What  do  they  under- 
stand? "  she  reassured  herself. 

It  was  raining  and  the  streets  were  slippery  and  as 
she  stepped  from  the  street  car  to  the  pavement,  the  book 
accidentally  fell  from  her  grasp  onto  the  muddy  street. 
When  she  stopped  to  pick  it  up  and  wiped  the  mud  from 
the  open  pages,  a  line  caught  her  eye :  "  Emma  grew 
thinner,  her  cheeks  paler,  her  face  longer  — " 

She  hurriedly  reached  home  and  read  on  and  on,  with 
the  door  locked.  Soon  she  was  as  deeply  interested  in  this 
new  work  as  she  had  been  in  the  other  and  it  was  not  long 
before  she  was  familiar  with  the  wonderful  picture  created 
of  a  woman  where  love  was  gnawing  and  eating  at  her 
soul. 

Once  she  stopped  numbly  in  the  middle  of  a  passage, 
crying :  "  Oh,  how  wonderful !  "  She  saw  a  parallelism 
between  Emma  Bovary  and  herself.  Hadn't  she  gone  to 
bed  night  after  night,  aching,  hungry,  yearning?  And 
hadn't  she  known  what  it  was  to  keep  others  from  under- 
standing for  fear  of  abuse? 

Thatah  read  the  book  through  in  two  days.  Her  heart 
pained,  her  eyes  burned  for  the  poor  woman. 

This  reading  had  a  very  evident  effect  on  Thatah,  and 
the  professor  that  evening  questioned  her.  But  she  only 
explained  that  she  felt  dispirited  for  no  reason  that  mat- 
tered. 

He  startled  her,  by  saying :  "  Oh,  my  little  girl,  life 
is  sad,  and  sweet  and  bitter,  all  at  once.  You  don't 
know.  It  hurts  my  heart  that  you  should  work,  but 
what  can  we  do?  I  love  you,  I  love  your  dark  eyes,  and 
your  little  thin  wrists,  and  your  little  mouth  that 
quivers  and  trembles  so  when  you  talk.  It  makes  me 
think  of  a  baby  just  opening  its  eyes  for  the  first  time 


Hagar  Revelly  71 

and  finding  there  is  too  much  light.  Yes,  I  hate  it,  Tha- 
tah,  but  we've  got  to  be  practical.  We  are  in  a  land 
where  we  sweat  for  the  music  and  the  dreams  we  make 
for  other  people.  And  they  think  they  have  paid  us  be- 
cause they  have  given  some  of  their  money.  Ah,  little 
dear,  they  call  it  art.  They  say :  '  Here  is  two  dollars 
for  you.  Give  me  a  chunk  of  your  life.'  Yes,  that  is 
what  they  do,"  he  went  on,  shaking  his  head. 

Thatah  smoothed  back  a  few  grey-turning  hairs. 
"  Don't,  dear,"  she  interrupted,  made  unhappy  by  hear- 
ing his  serious  talk.  She  was  near  to  telling  him  of  the 
book  she'd  found  and  its  soothing  recognition  of  all  the 
horrid  things  he  talked  about.  Then  she  hesitated  in  her 
caresses,  and  he,  noticing,  asked  her  what  she  had  in- 
tended to  say. 

"  Oh,  that  it  doesn't  do  any  good  to  be  so  serious," 
she  spoke  with  emphasis ;  but  the  words  rang  so  untruth- 
ful in  her  ears  that  she  felt  compelled  to  leave  him  and 
busy  herself  with  the  portfolio  he  had  placed  on  the 
table. 

Revelly  studied  her  for  a  long  time. 

"  Thank  God  you  don't  know,  my  dear,"  he  said,  re- 
garding her  as  she  stood  with  her  back  to  him.  His  head 
shook  rhythmically  with  each  word. 

It  was  many  minutes  after,  when  Thatah  thought  she 
could  no  longer  bear  the  odd  staring  way  he  gazed  at  her, 
that  he  turned  around  to  the  piano  and  with  a  deep  sigh, 
gradually  stroked  and  caressed  the  keys  until  they  broke 
for  him  into  sweet,  soft  chords,  and  dainty  little  arpeggios 
that  ran  mysteriously  up  and  down  the  keys. 

Then  Thatah  joined  him,  sitting  quietly  by  his  side, 
gazing  into  his  dark  grey  eyes,  and  feeling  that  his  period 
of  scrutiny  had  passed. 

For  a  time  he  played  at  random  and  then  as  he  kept 
on,  fell  into  a  climax  of  strong  octaves  and  deepened  bass 


72  Hagar  Revelly 

that  shook  the  room.  It  was  as  if  here  were  some  voice 
imprisoned,  working  and  working,  in  its  tempestuous  way, 
at  the  bars  that  imprisoned  it. 

And  as  she  leaned  over  his  shoulders  and  listened  to  the 
fiery  melody,  a  strange  picture  was  brought  to  Tha- 
tah's  mind:  That  his  heart  was  the  music  box  of  his  be- 
ing and  that  harmony  in  the  shape  of  a  key,  was  the  only 
thing  that  would  unlock  it.  And  she  saw  that  the  key 
was  worn  and  rusty,  while  the  doors  remained  fast. 

The  idea  was  so  queer,  she  was  on  the  point  of  inter- 
rupting him  and  telling  of  it,  when  he  startled  her  by 
saying,  as  if  he  had  been  reading  her  thoughts: 

"  You  know,  Thatah,  what  is  the  trouble  between  us, 
your  mother  and  me?  Well,  we  are  all  like  delicate  in- 
struments, violins  or  harps,  and  everyone,  anyone,  can 
play  on  us.  And  those  that  love  us  and  understand  the 
kind  of  music  we  can  give,  play  real  melodies  on  us,  tunes 
that  bring  out  all  the  sweet  harmony,  all  the  real  human 
feeling  that  is  in  us.  Or  else,  they  bring  out  discords, 
dead,  sobbing  tones,  which  is  not  the  kind  of  music  we 
are  fitted  to  give  to  them."  He  added  sadly,  "  Yes,  we 
are  funny  little  violins,  Thatah,  all  of  us,  and  some  peo- 
ple make  us  give  them  such  bad,  pitiful  music." 

His  voice  was  a  little  broken  as  he  turned  away  from 
her.  "  Heine  knew  this.  And  he,  too,  suffered  the  same 
way." 

He  was  back  at  the  keys,  when  he  added :  "  You  must 
know  Heine  some  day,  Thatah,  when  you  are  older." 

Then  he  lost  himself  again  in  a  wild  melody,  yet  a 
melody  so  tender  and  noble  and  caressing,  so  full  of  yearn- 
ing, so  like  a  sighing,  or  a  half -muttered  appeal,  that  it 
seemed  to  Thatah  that  here  was  revealed  the  hidden  man 
she  knew  was  her  father.  She  felt  she  had  never  known 
him  so  thoroughly  before.  They  called  him  eccentric, 
weak,  crazy,  "  with  no  business  head,"  but  as  she  studied 


Hagar  Revelly  73 

the  bent  figure,  it  seemed  that  now,  for  the  first  time,  she 
was  meeting  the  real  father. 

Revelly  must  have  been  conscious  of  her  speculative  re- 
gard, for  he  suddenly  wheeled  around  on  the  little  stool 
and  with  a  voice  that  was  stirring  and  passionate,  said: 
"  Thatah,  you  hear  this  music  ?  You  —  you  —  bring  it 
out  of  me,  my  little  girl." 


CHAPTER  VIII 

WHEN  Thatah  and  her  father  went  to  the  office  of  the 
Metropolitan  Opera  House,  where  she  was  to  receive  the 
position  the  professor  had  arranged  for  her,  they  were 
ushered  into  a  large  room  whose  high  walls  were  covered 
with  pictures  of  the  various  performers  at  the  opera. 
The  familiar  thick  face  of  the  great  tenor,  in  costume 
for  Rudolpho,  the  petite,  dainty  figure  of  Cho-Cho-San, 
and  all  the  rest,  made  Thatah  feel  as  if  she  were  shifted 
into  another  world. 

"  Mr.  Graveur  will  come  in  any  minute,"  remarked  her 
father,  after  they  were  seated.  "  Don't  seem  so  bored. 
You  will  like  the  work.  It  is  good  here." 

The  door  opened  and  a  tall  man  whose  age  was  in  the 
forties,  came  in  and  greeted  them.  He  was  deferential 
and  kind. 

"  My  daughter,  Mr.  Graveur.     Thatah,  Mr.  Graveur." 

They  shook  hands  and  all  sat  down  close  to  a  heavy 
mahogany  table,  on  which  were  piled  innumerable  books 
and  papers. 

"  Your  father  is  an  old  friend,  Miss  Revelly,  and  I 
hope  we'll  find  something  to  keep  you  interested,"  began 
Mr.  Graveur,  smiling. 

Thatah  thought  this  a  very  nice  way  for  him  to  say 
her  job  was  ready. 

They  talked  on  about  different  things  for  a  few  min- 
utes —  the  orchestra,  the  new  director,  and  the  prima 
donna,  who  had  stopped  a  recent  performance  because 
the  kimona  for  Cho-Cho-San's  baby  did  not  fit. 

Thatah  had  been  given  her  preliminary  instructions 

74 


Hagar  Revelly.  75 

and  they  were  on  the  point  of  leaving,  when  a  little  thin- 
faced  woman,  very  nervous  and  excited,  came  in  without 
knocking. 

The  father  and  daughter  stood  by  while  she  inter- 
viewed the  secretary,  and  Thatah  was  given  her  first  view 
of  life  behind  the  stage. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Graveur,"  the  woman  cried ;  "  what  is  it  you 
think  they  have  done  now?  Well,  my  name,  understand, 
that  is  first  in  Warsaw,  in  Moscow,  right  at  the  head  of 
the  Ballet,  right  under  our  leader,  is  now  put  after  that 
nasty  woman  Mr.  Perrini  likes.  I  told  you  it  would  be  so. 
He  likes  her.  Everybody  knows  it." 

She  went  on  to  say  it  was  terrible  that  in  America  an 
artist  must  bow  her  head,  because  another  woman  had  a 
pretty  nose.  When  she  was  pacified  and  had  left,  Mr. 
Graveur  explained  to  Thatah  that  as  he  was  also  secretary 
to  Mr.  Perrini,  the  impresario,  he  was  compelled  during 
the  summer  to  take  all  the  complaints. 

"  I'm  like  a  social  secretary  in  an  embassy,"  he  said, 
smiling.  "  The  Ambassador  does  as  he  wants  and  has  me 
do  what  must  be  done." 

Thatah  was  required  to  be  at  the  Bureau  at  ten  o'clock 
the  next  morning.  Work  was  piling  up  for  the  opening 
of  the  season,  and  the  memory  of  the  past  soon  became 
lost  in  her  many  new  occupations. 

As  the  days  went  on,  she  wondered  to  herself  some- 
times how  hardships  could  be  so  easily  forgotten.  She 
was  astonished,  too,  to  find  that  she  actually  enjoyed  her 
work,  and  to  notice  that  it  was  with  a  good  deal  of 
genuine  pleasure  that  she  went  to  Mr.  Graveur's  office 
each  morning,  and  that  what  she  did  there  seemed  to  her 
really  not  like  work  at  all. 

Mr.  Graveur  was  soft-voiced,  and  his  big  stature  and 
hardened  face  made  the  words  he  spoke  seem  even  kindlier 
than  they  really  were.  To  hear  him  say,  "  That's  it  ex- 


76  Hagar  Revelly 

actly,  Miss  Revelly,"  as  he  did  when  she  performed  some 
task  correctly,  was  very  sweet  to  her. 

Gradually  she  forgot  all  the  quarrels,  forgot  how  she 
had  suffered  in  the  knowledge  of  her  mother's  rendezvous, 
forgot  even  the  stupid  sordidness  of  the  boarding  house. 
Little  by  little  all  the  details  of  her  former  life  escaped 
her.  She  came  to  look  back  upon  that  past  time  as  some- 
thing to  be  viewed  separately  from  anything  in  which  she 
now  took  part. 

Whenever  she  called  at  the  little  office  upstairs  for  her 
salary,  she  would  say  to  herself,  musing  over  the  situa- 
tion :  "  A  week  ago,  I  came  here  —  two  weeks  —  three 
weeks."  But  it  seemed  almost  as  if  it  were  the  only  life 
she  had  ever  known. 


CHAPTER  IX 

ALTHOUGH  Thatah  found  herself  placed  so  happily  in  her 
new  position,  and  her  father  was  at  least  temporarily 
more  pleased  than  he  had  been  since  the  parting  of  the 
family,  Mrs.  Revelly  was  compelled  to  travel  on  a  road 
less  smooth. 

One  day  soon  after  her  conversation  with  Nealy,  she 
came  home  to  find  the  following  letter  lying  addressed  to 
her  on  the  dressing-table  in  her  bedroom: 

"Darling  Mother: 

I  heard  your  talk  with  Mr.  Nealy.  I  was  in  your  room  and 
I  could  not  help  it.  I  heard  what  you  said  and  for  the  last 
few  days  you  don't  know  how  unhappy  I  have  been  thinking 
about  it.  Ever  since  then  I've  been  thinking  what  I  shall  do. 
You  know  how  much  I  love  you.  I  am  not  going  to  let  you 
be  unhappy  through  me.  So  I  have  thought  about  it  very  much 
and  I  know  that  if  I  could  go  some  place  so  that  you  two  can 
be  together  without  me,  then  he  won't  think  about  me  and 
everything  will  be  all  right.  Honestly,  I  know  Mr.  Nealy 
doesn't  care  for  me  and  he  has  never  said  anything  to  me  except 
what  you  have  heard,  but  I  think  I  ought  to  go  away. 

That  is  what  I  have  arranged  to  do.  And  it  is  only  because 
I  love  you,  mother.  You  know  that.  I  am  not  going  to  let 
you  be  unhappy  through  me.  I  have  made  up  my  mind  to  get  a 
job  some  place  anyway  as  I  have  not  any  right  to  stay  at  home 
and  not  do  anything.  I  think  every  girl  ought  to  work  and 
make  some  money.  Even  if  she  was  rich  she  ought  to  do 
something.  I  have  been  to  Siegel-Cooper's  and  Macy's.  But 
they  did  not  have  anything  for  me  and  so  yesterday  I  went  to 
Rheinchild's  Department  Store  on  6th  Ave.  and  I  got  a  good 
job  there.  Mr.  Herrick  gave  me  a  letter  to  somebody  he  knew 

77 


78  Hagar  Revelly 

there.  He  doesn't  know  but  what  you  wanted  me  to  do  it, 
and  please,  mother,  don't  let  him  think  any  different,  because 
he  has  been  so  nice  about  it.  I  moved  my  trunk  j  ust  now  while 
you  are  down  town  and  I'm  going  to  leave  this  on  your  dresser. 

Please  don't  worry  because  I  am  all  right.  Miss  Gillespie, 
the  lady  who  is  in  charge  of  my  department,  told  me  where  I 
could  get  a  nice  room  at  the  boarding  house  where  she  lives. 
So  I  went  there  and  got  an  awful  nice  little  room  right  next  to 
hers.  It  is  at  297  Fifty-sixth  Street  and  that  is  where  I  am 
going  now.  The  lady  of  the  house  is  real  nice  too,  so  every- 
thing is  all  right.  I  told  her  I  was  from  Albany,  because  I 
thought  maybe  if  I  told  her  I  lived  in  New  York,  she  would 
wonder  why  I  didn't  stay  home.  You  know  I  could  not  tell 
her  the  reason  for  that. 

Now  please  don't  come  after  me  because  I  am  doing  this  for 
you.  I  will  write  every  day  and  come  and  see  you  all  the  time. 
I  love  you  with  all  my  heart  and  I  know  how  unhappy  you  are. 
You  were  unhappy  enough  when  father  was  at  home. 

Your  loving  daughter, 

HAGAR." 

< 

At  first  Mrs.  Revelly  could  not  believe  that  this  was 
anything  other  than  childish  humor  on  the  part  of  Hagar, 
but  gradually  she  began  to  realize  it  was  true,  and  was 
overcome  by  a  spell  of  grief  and  hysteria  that  neither 
Fanny  nor  Mr.  Nealy  could  quell. 

Her  impulse  was  to  rush  immediately  after  Hagar  and 
bring  her  home  by  force.  But  Nealy  advised  other- 
wise, thinking  that  Hagar's  wilful  nature  might  make  her 
more  rebellious  and  obstinate  than  ever. 

So  she  immediately  wrote  a  letter  to  Hagar,  which 
Nealy  promised  to  take,  without  in  any  way  indulging  in 
a  verbal  argument: 

"  My  dear  darling  Hagar: 

Your  letter  has  come  like  a  stroke  of  lightning,  and  it  has 
stricken  your  poor  mother.  For  God's  sake,  Hagar,  don't  be 


Hagar  Revelly  79 

so  foolish.  You  don't  know  how  terribly  unhappy  you  are 
making  me.  So  please,  please,  come  back  and  don't  be  so 
foolish.  Mr.  Nealy  is  taking  this  letter  to  you,  which  proves 
that  everything  is  all  right.  He  watched  me  write  this  letter 
and  you  can  understand  that  he  wouldn't  take  it  to  you,  if  he 
felt  anything  like  what  you  think.  And  I  am  not  coming  after 
you,  which  is  what  I  should  do. 

I  can't  believe  that  my  own  dear  Hagar  should  do  such  a 
wild,  impulsive  thing.  Of  course,  dear,  I  know  you  love  me 
and  that  you  think  you  are  doing  right  because  it  is  for  my  sake. 
But  please  think,  dearie,  and  know  that  this  is  bringing  me  a 
thousand  times  the  unhappiness  I  would  feel  even  if  the  other 
were  true. 

Please  come  back  with  Mr.  Nealy. 

Your  heart-broken   Mother. 

P.S. — When  you  do  an  unforeseen  act  like  this,  darling,  it 
scares  me,  and  makes  me  feel  that  I  have  raised  you  to  be  as 
old  as  you  are  and  still  do  not  know  you  or  understand  you  at 
all.  Haven't  you  been  happy  at  home?  Oh,  my  dear  child,  it 
makes  me  think  of  how  quiet  you  always  are  around  the  house. 
Surely,  it  isn't  because  you  think  I  am  doing  wrong.  No,  I 
won't  believe  that.  My  darling,  you  must  come  back  with  Mr. 
Nealy.  The  torture  your  mother  shall  suffer  until  her  little 
one  comes  back,  will  be  unendurable." 

"Mother: 

I  am  writing  this  while  Mr.  Nealy  is  waiting.  He  says  he 
is  going  to  take  me  back  by  force  if  I  don't  come  back  will- 
ingly. Now,  I  will  not  have  him  do  anything  like  this,  and  it 
will  only  make  matters  worse. 

Honestly,  I  like  it  here.  I  have  got  a  dandy  job  at  Rhein- 
child's,  in  the  waist  department,  at  six  dollars  a  week  and  Mr. 
Greenfield,  one  of  the  owners,  and  managers,  says  I  can  get 
seven  or  eight  dollars  pretty  soon.  I  like  it  here  a  lot.  Mr. 
Nealy  will  tell  you  that  I  have  a  nice  little  room  with  a  pretty 
red  carpet  and  the  sun  coming  in  through  a  real  big  window. 
I  have  been  thinking  since  I  left  this  afternoon  and  I  know 
that  I  am  not  doing  any  good  at  home,  just  hanging  around. 


80  Hagar  Revelly 

I  think  that  girls  ought  to  work,  like  men.  So  please,  darling 
mama,  do  not  worry  and  let  me  do  this.  There  are  some  girls 
and  fellows  here  and  the  landlady  says  that  they  have  a  dandy 
time  playing  and  singing  at  night  in  the  parlor.  Really,  I  was 
getting  so  lonesome  all  the  time  at  home.  That  was  why  I 
was  so  quiet.  I  do  want  to  work  and  make  my  own  money. 
Just  think  how  nice  that  will  be.  And  if  I  was  making  eight 
dollars  a  week  I  could  bring  some  of  it  to  you.  You  can  rent 
my  room  and  that  will  help  a  lot,  too.  And  then  you  know  it 
will  be  the  same  about  Mr.  Nealy  if  I  come  back.  And  I  want 
you  to  be  happy. 

All  my  love. 

HAGAR. 

P.S. —  Mr.  Herrick  says  he  will  call  on  me  here.  He  is  so 
nice,  mother.  Please  do  not  say  anything  to  him,  as  I  would 
hate  to  have  to  explain  why  I  really  left.  He  thinks  every- 
thing is  all  right. 

I  have  rented  this  place  by  the  month  anyway  and  of  course, 
couldn't  give  it  up.  Mr.  Nealy  says  you  are  sick  in  bed  because 
I  have  gone  away.  Please,  mother,  do  not  worry  and  I  will 
come  and  see  you  as  soon  as  you  say  everything  is  all  right, 
and  that  you  won't  hold  me  and  keep  me  from  coming  back 
here.  I  will  not  leave  here  now  and  am  going  to  follow  the 
plans  I  have  made." 

•  •  ••  •  •  •  •  • 

"  My  precious  Child: 

I'm  in  bed  and  they  won't  let  me  leave.  Oh,  Hagar,  why  will 
you  persist  in  driving  me  nearly  crazy?  I  can't  understand 
you.  When  Mr.  Nealy  came  in  so  silently  just  now  and  gave 
me  a  letter  instead  of  bringing  to  me  my  precious  girl,  I  nearly 
fainted.  He  was  disgusted  and  would  not  answer  any  ques- 
tions, only  saying,  '  Read  —  read.* 

I  see  that  I  can't  avoid  having  you  away  from  me  to-night. 
Oh,  darling,  you  are  breaking  my  heart.  I  am  so  weak  and 
trembling  and  have  terrible  pains  in  my  head.  But  if  Mr. 
Nealy  would  let  me  I  would  come  to  you  to-night  anyway. 
And  I  would  hold  you  in  my  arms  and  kiss  your  dear  little 
cheeks,  until  you  understood. 


Hagar  Revelly  81 

Hagar,  you  are  young  and  impulsive  and  I  have  always  let 
you  have  your  way,,  But  this  is  too  serious.  I  am  blaming 
myself  for  not  explaining  to  you  more  fully  my  relationship 
with  Mr.  Nealy.  I  feel  that  maybe  you  are  thinking  of  this. 
Surely  you  know  a  mother's  love  is  different  and  the  atmos- 
phere in  our  home  has  always  been  good  and  pure.  But  you 
are  making  me  blame  myself  terribly. 

We  mustn't  write  any  more  letters.  It  makes  me  suffer  too 
much. 

Don't  be  so  foolish  as  to  worry  about  the  agreement  about 
the  rent.  We'll  fix  that. 

If  you  don't  come  as  soon  as  you  get  this,  I  am  coming  to 
you,  whether  I  am  able  or  not. 

My  darling,  I  love  you.     Please  come  to  my  open  arms." 

"  Darling  mother: 

I  will  not  come  home.  That  is,  not  now.  I  am  going  to  stay 
the  month  out  here  and  decide  one  way  or  the  other.  Then  if 
everything  is  not  the  way  I  think  it  is,  I  will  come  home. 

I  only  received  your  letter  just  as  I  was  leaving  the  house  this 
morning  for  the  store  and  am  writing  this  during  my  noon 
hour.  Mr.  Nealy  came  to  the  store  about  a  half  hour  ago  and 
made  a  terrible  scene,  talking  about  child-labor,  and  everything, 
and  then  he  got  excited  and  tried  to  pull  me  in  front  of  all  the 
girls.  I  hate  him  and  would  not  think  of  going  home  now. 
He  has  not  got  any  business  to  put  his  hand  in  my  affairs  like 
that.  You  ought  to  have  seen  him.  He  was  acting  just  like 
he  was  crazy.  You  can  imagine  how  I  felt  in  front  of  all  the 
girls. 

I  never  saw  anybody  so  mean  and  excited  and  I  hate  him. 

I  am  all  right  and  please  don't  worry. 

Your  loving  daughter, 

HAGAR." 

Hagar  received  a  short  note  from  her  mother  on  the 
following  day.  It  said :  "  As  you  wish,  my  poor,  foolish 
girl.  I  see  it  is  of  no  use  to  force  you,  and  you  are  very 
thoughtless  and  stubborn.  Still,  I  want  you  to  know  that 


8£  Hagar  Revelly 

the  home  is  always  waiting.  I  am  coming  to  you  as  soon 
as  I  get  up." 

Many  times  in  the  following  days,  after  an  exciting 
interview  with  her  mother,  Hagar  would  stop  short  to  ask 
herself  whether  she  ought  to  hold  out  against  her  mother's 
wishes.  But  she  had  begun  to  enjoy  and  appreciate  her 
new  life,  and  she  was  loath  to  give  it  all  up.  She  had  a 
new  understanding  of  things  —  an  understanding  that 
would  make  her  stop  short  in  the  middle  of  the  street, 
and  ask  of  herself  questions. 

There  was  much  fun  in  the  evenings  for  her  at  the  new 
place,  and  for  the  first  time  in  her  life  was  she  able  to 
buy  things  with  her  own  money.  At  the  store,  too,  she 
came  in  contact  with  so  many  new  people  and  ideas. 
She  soon  learned  that  in  the  ways  of  the  world  she  was 
like  a  baby,  and  this  was  something  she  tried  to  over- 
come at  once.  She  was  really  ashamed  to  let  anyone 
see  how  little  she  knew  and  understood.  Listening  to 
the  other  girls'  conversations,  she  would  stand  and  won- 
der, asking  herself  why  it  was  that  she  had  been  so  igno- 
rant and  learned  so  little.  The  other  girls  had  so  much 
pleasure  out  of  things  that  she  could  not  understand  at 
all.  It  gave  her  an  intense  craving  to  get  a  peep  into 
the  world  and  be  as  wise  as  they. 

Other  things  came  up,  also.  For  the  first  time  in  her 
whole  life,  she  bought  in  the  hosiery  department,  at  a 
special  rate,  a  pair  of  silk  stockings.  This  she  did  on 
the  day  she  received  her  first  salary  and  as  she  walked 
away  from  the  counter  she  believed  that  there  was  com- 
ing to  her,  for  the  first  time,  a  peep  into  the  glories  of  a 
strange  new  world. 

After  a  number  of  weeks  had  passed,  Mrs.  Revelly 
seemed  to  be  reconciled.  There  was  always  in  her  mind 
to  comfort  her  the  feeling  that  Hagar  would  soon  return, 


Hagar  Revelly  83 

and  that  she  must  let  the  impulsive  nature  of  the  child 
run  its  course. 

Although  mother  and  child  saw  each  other  very  often, 
Hagar  would  never  eat  at  home  nor  take  the  chance  of 
meeting  Mr.  Nealy.  There  was  no  doubt  that  Hagar, 
who  at  first  had  left  home  because  of  a  desire  that  she 
should  not  be  the  cause  of  her  mother's  unhappiness,  was 
now  so  much  happier  in  her  freedom  that  she  could  not 
think  of  giving  it  up.  The  days  became  for  her,  instead 
of  monotonous  passages,  vehicles  that  lightly  bore  her  to 
other  roads. 

At  last  she  saw  that  her  repeated  pleadings  that  she 
be  left  alone  had  succeeded,  for  Mrs.  Revelly  rented  out 
her  former  room  to  a  young  public  school  teacher.  Ha- 
gar when  she  heard  this,  felt  that  now  she  was  at  last 
permanently  established  in  her  new  life. 

She  had  meantime  begun  to  meet  and  take  interest  in 
the  people  of  her  new  circle.  Perhaps  of  them  all  Miss 
Gillespie,  who  lived  in  the  next  room,  was  the  most  sym- 
pathetic and  kind  to  her.  This  woman  was  a  thin,  freckled 
face,  energetic  little  person  and  the  two  very  shortly 
struck  up  a  friendship.  Hagar  learned  from  the  nervous 
little  woman  a  great  many  new  things. 

One  night,  Miss  Gillespie  made  a  confident  of  her.  It 
all  started  with  giving  her  opinion  about  a  girl  whom 
she  knew  in  the  chorus  of  a  musical  show  on  Broadway. 
From  this,  led  by  Hagar's  questions,  she  went  on  to  tell 
of  her  own  marriage  and  the  outcome  of  it. 

"  Oh,  but  isn't  divorce  wrong,  Miss  Gillespie?  "  Hagar 
asked. 

"  Not  a  bit  of  it ! "  was  the  woman's  vehement  answer. 
"  All  this  rot  about  the  moral  side  of  divorce  makes  me 
sick.  It's  like  the  pale-faced  woman  who  says  she  won't 
use  rouge  because  it  isn't  right.  She  neglects  a  remedy 


84«  "Hagar  Revelly 

that  might  make  her  better  looking,  just  because  she 
thinks  there  is  some  moral  reason,  and  yet,  the  result  is 
physical  because  her  looks  stay  the  same.  That  proves 
she's  not  logical.  And  it's  the  same  with  divorce.  You 
can  stay  miserable  if  you  want  to,  if  you  think  it  is  wrong 
to  get  a  divorce.  But  I  didn't  have  any  scruples  along 
that  line.  He  was  a  fool  and  a  brute  and  I  got  rid  of 
him.  That's  all  there  was  to  it." 

With  the  lamp  throwing  its  soft  glow  through  the  red 
shade,  they  sat  on  the  end  of  the  bed  and  talked  till  mid- 
night. It  was  the  first  real  conversation  with  any  woman 
except  her  mother,  that  Hagar  had  experienced  in  her 
sixteen  years  of  life. 

She  found  Miss  Gillespie  a  peculiar  person,  who  talked 
gaily,  then  of  a  sudden  became  so  quiet  that  for  minutes 
she  sat  without  even  a  movement  of  her  body.  Sometimes 
she  would  change  her  mood  so  suddenly  that  Hagar,  from 
sheer  perplexity,  would  not  know  whether  to  laugh  or  be 
silent. 

Once  she  did  laugh  rather  inopportunely,  and  Miss  Gil- 
lespie looked  at  her  with  dull  grey  eyes  just  showing  from 
between  the  lids.  "  Oh,  don't  laugh  at  me,"  she  said. 
"  Just  listen  and  I'll  teach  you  a  lot,  little  sister." 

One  night,  after  they  had  become  more  intimate,  Miss 
Gillespie  broke  into  talking  rather  fully  about  her  life. 

"  No,  it  hasn't  been  all  gay  with  me,  my  little  friend, 
I  can  tell  you,"  she  told  Hagar.  "  The  world  kicked  me 
pretty  good  once,  and  I  am  just  kicking  back.  I  married 
a  fellow  because  I  really  thought  I  loved  him,  and  all  he 
married  me  for  was  because  he  wanted  somebody  to  be 
with  him.  I  was  the  only  one  with  whom  he  kept  com- 
pany, or  who  paid  any  attention  to  him.  Then  he  made 
love  to  me  and  I  took  it  all  in  and  believed  it,  like  a  big 
fool. 

"  Yes,  he  would  have  made  love  to  a  bronze  figure  in 


Hagar  Revelly  85 

a  museum,  if  there  hadn't  been  anything  else  around.  He 
was  that  kind  of  a  man.  You  don't  want  to  believe  men, 
anyway.  They  make  love  a  lot  of  times,  just  to  see  how 
well  they  can  do  it,  just  to  see  if  they've  lost  their  hand 
at  the  game.  Well,  we  weren't  married  very  long  before 
I  found  out  how  selfish  he  was,  and  that  I  was  just  a  piece 
of  furniture  to  him.  I  rebelled,  and  it  got  so,  after  that 
first  big  fuss,  that  I  just  couldn't  stand  him  to  come  near 
me." 

She  stopped  her  narrative  long  enough  to  interpolate, 
"  Oh,  you  don't  know  what  a  wonderful  thing  it  is,  just  to 
want  to  have  come  near  you  the  man  you  want.  I  tell 
you  nobody  ought  to  marry  unless  they've  got  that  kind 
of  a  feeling.  People  may  have  money,  big  homes,  and  a 
lot  of  machines  tagging  them  around ;  still  if  they  haven't 
got  that  great  big  throbbing  feeling  in  their  bodies  — 
why,  nothing  amounts  to  anything.  That's  what  makes 
a  lot  of  these  rich  women  do  so  many  funny  things,  like 
running  off  with  their  coachmen  and  chauffeurs.  Yes, 
that's  my  religion  —  that  is,  if  I  eVer  get  married  again." 

She  fell  suddenly  into  one  of  her  trance-like  silences. 

"  Where  was  I?  "  she  asked  after  a  moment.  Then  as 
Hagar  reminded  her,  she  went  on :  "  Well,  I  got  a  di- 
vorce, made  up  my  mind  that  feeling  and  all  that  is  very 
well  if  you  both  have  it,  but  that  it  always  puts  a  woman 
in  the  hole  if  she's  the  only  one  who  has  it.  Maybe  it's 
all  a  joke  anyway." 

"  Don't  you  think  you'll  ever  get  married  again,  Miss 
Gillespie?  "  asked  Hagar. 

The  woman  took  Hagar's  hands  and  gently  fondled 
them. 

"  Call  me  Mabel,  child  —  you  know  me  well  enough  for 
that,"  she  said. 

"  Won't  you  ever  get  married?  "  persisted  Hagar, 

Miss  Gillespie  smiled,  somewhat  queerly. 


86  'Hagar  Revelly 

"  Well,  no  —  not  unless  I  find  a  man  who  loves  me  so 
much  he'll  forget  whether  I  love  him  or  not.  And  that 
will  never  be."  She  thought  for  a  time,  then  went  on: 

"  It's  strange,  little  friend,  all  right.  Just  like  the 
way  the  rounder  watches  his  little  sister.  He  is  bad  right 
enough,  but  he  wants  that  little  sister  to  be  as  pure  as 
snow.  I  guess  that  is  about  the  way  I  am.  When  I 
come  across  the  man  who  is  as  good  and  innocent  in  his 
thoughts  as  I  ought  to  be,  then  I'll  make  him  marry  me 
before  he  knows  it.  But  I  don't  believe  you  can  find  that 
kind  any  more.  At  least,  not  in  the  big  cities  —  in  the 
country  maybe,  but  then  they'd  be  dummies." 

"  What  difference  does  it  make  where  a  man  lives  ?  " 
asked  Hagar  —  she  could  guess,  but  she  wanted  to  keep 
Miss  Gillespie  talking. 

"  Why,  in  town  the  men  are  all  bad.  Women  are  an- 
other sex  to  them,  you  know,  and  they  feel  their  duty  is 
to  win  over  them,  show  their  manliness,  get  the  best  of 
them  just  like  savages  —  one  tribe  against  another. 
And  they've  got  the  money  to  pay  for  it.  That's  it." 
In  a  more  shadowy  voice,  she  said :  "  And  I  guess  there 
are  some  people  who  get  married,  along  just  such  lines." 

She  continued  slowly  and  quietly  now,  nearly  solilo- 
quizing to  herself,  while  Hagar  listened. 

"  Yes,  the  man  I  want  is  the  man  who  knows  and  yet 
stays  good  because  his  heart  is  good.  You  know  the 
man  who  saves  the  girl  from  drowning  because  he  is  a 
good  swimmer  is  no  hero.  He  only  does  his  duty.  And 
that  is  the  way  it  is  with  being  good.  It  takes  tempta- 
tion, sin  all  around,  to  try  you  out.  And  then  when 
you're  good,  little  girl  —  why,  then  you're  good."  She 
broke  off  into  a  whisper.  "  And  I'm  bad,  and  I  only  tell 
it  to  somebody  like  you,  who  is  just  starting  out,  when  we 
are  together  like  this,  when  it's  dark  and  the  walls  don't 
listen,  and  I  can  tell  it  straight 


Hagar  Revelly  87 

"  I'm  unhappy  because  I'm  bad,  and  yet  —  I  am  not 
bad  —  like  other  women.  It's  all  in  my  mind.  I  just 
want  to  get  even  with  them  for  what  they've  made  me  go 
through.  You're  just  starting  out.  Oh,  I  hope  you'll 
never  feel  the  way  I  do.  .  .  .  You  won't  if  you  take 
my  word  that  only  the  really  good  people  in  the  world  are 
really  happy !  " 

Hagar  went  to  her  work  the  next  morning  with  a  feel- 
ing of  sudden  maturity,  ebbing  in  and  out,  like  the  tide, 
through  her  being.  She  had  come  upon  a  great,  new,  in- 
definable thing.  It  seemed  to  pervade  her.  All  of  a 
sudden  she  understood  how  her  mother,  or  Thatah,  or  her 
father,  could  be  sad  or  happy  over  nothing  but  the  con- 
ditions of  things.  Hitherto  she  had  always  thought 
that  only  sickness  or  injury  could  make  one  suffer. 

Often  before  she  had  said  to  herself  as  she  watched  the 
misery  of  others,  "Why  are  they  unhappy?  There 
hasn't  anything  happened."  Now  she  understood. 

This  new  understanding  filled  Hagar's  days  for  her 
now.  She  did  not  find  as  much  pleasure  in  playing  the 
childish  games,  or  in  singing  ragtime  songs  of  an  evening. 
Very  often  she  would  go  quietly  to  her  room  and  sit  by 
the  window,  happy  to  have  a  moment  alone  in  which  she 
could  think.  Many  times  she  would  find  herself  standing 
quietly  in  some  public  place  wrapped  in  thought.  This 
would  make  her  angry  and  she  would  clench  her  small 
fist  and  try  to  fight  off  the  queer  feeling  that  enveloped 
her.  It  was  strange  how  little  things  would  plunge  her 
into  this  mood.  Often  it  would  come  just  at  the  sight 
of  some  man  whose  face  she  had  not  even  seen,  or  in  the 
passing  of  some  stranger  in  a  moving  vehicle. 


CHAPTER  X 

Miss  GILLESPIE  had  charge  of  the  girls  in  the  cheap  shirt- 
waist department.  She  allowed  them  to  have  their  way 
in  a  great  many  matters  and  accordingly  was  much  be- 
loved, and  the  manager,  Mr.  Greenfield,  gave  her  permis- 
sion to  follow  her  own  judgment,  since  she  was  so  well 
obeyed  by  them.  But  the  head  of  that  side  of  the  store 
was  a  tall  and  very  thin  lady,  who  wore  glasses  and  a 
continuous  smile  upon  a  face  which  easily  showed  in  its 
lines  a  very  disagreeable  temper.  This  woman  was  really 
in  charge,  but  from  past  experiences  the  girls  knew  of  her 
temper,  and  always  carried  their  complaints  to  Miss  Gil- 
lespie,  who  smoothed  out  each  little  controversy  with 
Miss  Gibbs  in  diplomatic  manner. 

Under  Miss  Gillespie's  tutelage,  Hagar  soon  became  well 
acquainted  with  the  machinery  of  the  big  store.  She 
would  register  the  instant  of  her  arrival  on  a  big  round 
time  machine,  and  hang  her  wraps  away  with  the  other 
hundreds  of  girls,  just  as  if  she  were  only  another  one 
of  the  prisoners  in  some  jail  and  with  as  much  mechanical 
unconsciousness  as  the  others. 

Hagar  became  quickly  initiated  in  other  ways,  too. 
Although  Miss  Gillespie  was  kind  to  her,  she  was  com- 
pelled to  submit  to  the  rigid  rules  and  regulations  of  the 
establishment  with  as  close  obedience  as  any  of  the  other 
employes.  One  morning  she  was  fined  for  being  late,  and 
again  when  a  shirt-waist  had  fallen  down  from  a  pile,  a 
floorwalker  from  another  department  came  past  and  rep- 
rimanded her.  She  learned  that  the  store  had  in  its  em- 
ploy detectives  who  were  paid  by  the  management  to  watch 

88 


Hagar  Revelly  89 

the  girls  quite  as  carefully  as  they  watched  the  custom- 
ers. But  it  pleased  her  to  be  in  a  position  where  there 
was  a  constant  stirring  and  interest,  and  the  rules  to 
which  she  was  compelled  to  submit  bothered  her  very  little. 

One  afternoon  Mr.  Herrick  stopped  in  to  see  her,  and 
found  her  waiting  on  a  big  fat  woman,  with  a  puffed  red 
face,  who  persisted  in  having  her  take  down  one  waist 
after  another  to  inspect  the  lace  or  the  collar,  only  to 
push  it  back  disgustedly  and  to  ask  for  something  of  an 
entirely  different  color  or  pattern.  Hagar  found  her 
temper  surging  as  she  waited  upon  the  woman  and  was  on 
the  point  of  asking  for  Miss  Gillespie,  when  Herrick  came 
up,  his  big  broad  shoulders  looming  above  the  crowd  of 
women  that  surrounded  the  counter. 

And  for  the  first  time  she  did  what  she  had  learned  was 
an  easy  way  to  get  rid  of  troublesome  customers.  She 
passed  the  woman  on  to  the  girl  at  her  side,  who  in  turn 
passed  the  lady  to  another  partner.  But  this  girl  was 
busy,  and  compelled  the  woman,  whose  temper  had  long 
ago  become  ruffled,  to  either  wait  or  leave. 

Hagar  and  Herrick  had  not  met  for  over  a  month. 
He  had  been  compelled  to  go  out  of  the  city  in  connection 
with  some  contract  that  his  firm  had  made,  and  he  was 
now  apparently  very  pleased  to  see  her. 

"  Well,  some  difference,  Miss  Hagar,  isn't  it?  "  he  said 
as  he  greeted  her. 

He  looked  at  her  close-fitting  black  waist  with  its  little 
delicate  lace  at  the  collar. 

"  You  look  —  pretty  nice,"  he  faltered,  in  boyish  fash- 
ion. "  How  are  you?  " 

"  Oh,  I'm  fine,  Mr.  Herrick." 

"  Your  mother  told  me,"  he  said,  "  that  you  didn't 
have  to  work,  but  that  you  were  doing  it  of  your  own  ac- 
cord. Of  course,  I  understood,  but  didn't  say  anything. 
But  you  certainly  did  right." 


90  Hagar  Revelly 

He  looked  around.  One  little  woman  with  a  bedragglcJ 
bird  of  paradise  on  her  hat  was  holding  on  to  the  end  of 
a  coarse  muslin  chemise  trimmed  with  cotton  ribbon, 
while  another  woman  had  her  fingers  tightly  clasped  on 
the  other  end,  both  wanting  the  garment,  and  both  having 
seemingly  discovered  it  at  the  same  moment.  At  last 
Miss  Gillespie  was  called  in  to  settle  the  dispute  over  the 
bargain. 

"Do  they  fight  like  that  at  your  counter,  too?"  he 
asked  of  Hagar,  with  an  amused  smile  on  his  face. 

"  No  —  that  is  —  I  don't  know.  We  haven't  had  a 
sale  since  I've  been  here." 

"  Well,  if  you  ever  need  any  help,  call  on  me,"  he  said, 
laughing. 

Before  he  left  he  made  an  engagement  with  her  for  the 
following  Thursday  evening. 

"  We'll  go  to  some  show,"  he  said. 

"  Gee,  that'll  be  fine,"  she  answered. 

And  as  she  watched  him  walk  out  between  the  rows  of 
women,  who  looked  like  pygmies  beside  him,  she  felt 
rather  proud. 

Later  in  the  afternoon  Mr.  Greenfield,  the  manager 
of  the  store,  came  along  and  stopped  in  front  of  her 
counter.  Hagar  felt  the  color  surge  to  her  face. 

"  Well,  Miss  Revelly,  how's  the  work  getting  on  ?  " 
he  asked. 

Although  he  had  been  stopping  at  her  counter  nearly 
every  day  for  the  past  few  weeks,  she  still  felt  bashful 
whenever  he  approached.  It  may  have  been  she  was 
conscious  that  the  eyes  of  all  the  other  girls  centred 
upon  her,  for  she  knew  how  very  seldom  it  was  that  the 
manager  stopped  and  talked  to  any  of  the  others. 

She  replied  to  his  question,  "  Oh,  I'm  getting  along 
fine,  Mr.  Greenfield." 

He  had  already  passed  on,  had  even  nodded  a  parting 


Hagar  Revelly  91 

greeting  to  Miss  Gillespie  at  the  head  of  the  aisle,  when 
he  turned  and  came  back  to  her. 

"  If  you  get  tired,  don't  hesitate  to  sit  down,"  he 
said,  in  a  soft,  kind  voice.  "  You  don't  look  well." 

"What  did  he  say  to  you?"  asked  the  girl  at  her 
side,  as  soon  as  the  manager  disappeared  at  the  head  of 
the  aisle. 

"  Oh,  he  — "  Hagar  was  near  to  telling,  but  something 
whispered  that  it  was  more  than  an  extra  privilege  which 
the  manager  had^  given  her.  She  answered  that  he  had 
simply  asked  her  how  she  liked  the  work. 

"What  did  you  tell  him?  " 

The  girl  was  eyeing  her  steadily,  and  it  rather  embar- 
rassed Hagar  to  be  questioned  so  closely.  It  aroused 
her  anger  a  little. 

"Why,  what  do  you  want  to  know  for?"  she  said 
boldly. 

"  Oh,  don't  be  so  innocent,"  came  the  girl's  answer. 
"  He  likes  you.  I  just  thought  I'd  put  you  wise.  I 
heard  him  asking  Miss  Gillespie  about  you  as  I  was  go- 
ing to  lunch  yesterday." 

Gradually  Hagar  began  to  realize  the  truth  of  this, 
and  in  one  way  or  another  she  became  aware  of  Mr. 
Greenfield's  attentions  to  her.  She  even  felt  that  he 
ought  not  be  so  kind  to  her,  from  a  business  standpoint, 
and  she  accordingly  acted  more  dignified  than  she  felt 
when  he  passed  a  kind  word  to  her,  just  so  the  other  girls 
would  not  notice. 

In  the  following  days  he  came  to  the  aisle  more  often, 
never  failing  to  give  her  some  pleasant  word  of  recogni- 
tion. And  one  day,  he  stopped  long  enough  to  tell  her 
in  low  tones  that  she  should  come  to  his  office  that  even- 
ing to  receive  a  letter  which  entitled  her  to  the  same  dis- 
count price  in  any  of  the  departments,  that  was  allowed 
to  the  department  heads  themselves.  To  give  such  a 


92  Hagar  Revelly 

thing  to  a  salesgirl  was  unprecedented,  though  Hagar 
hardly  realized  it. 

"  If  you  don't  need  anything  now,  you  probably  will 
later  on,"  he  said,  as  he  looked  at  the  little  thin  silk  waist 
that  showed,  through  its  worn  threads  at  the  elbow,  a 
faint  suggestion  of  her  arm. 

Hagar  thanked  him,  and  that  night,  found  her  way 
to  his  private  office.  As  she  opened  the  painted  glass 
door,  a  feeling  of  consternation  and  fear  stole  through 
her.  She  wondered  how  she  would  act  in  front  of  this 
important  man. 

Hesitating  for  only  a  moment,  however^  she  then 
gently  knocked. 

Inside  she  saw  Greenfield  with  his  dark,  shining,  smooth 
hair  and  clean-shaven  face,  bending  over  the  desk. 

He  noticed  her  quite  as  soon  as  she  had  gained  the 
room,  and  asked  very  politely  if  she  would  pardon  him 
for  another  moment  while  he  finished  with  some  work. 

"  Just  sit  down,  Miss  Revelly,  I'll  be  through  in  a 
minute,"  he  said  kindly. 

When  he  had  finished  he  pushed  aside  the  paper  that 
had  occupied  his  attention,  and  looked  up  at  her. 

"  Did  you  have  a  hard  time  finding  this  place?  "  His 
tones  were  so  quieting  she  felt  instantly  at  ease,  and 
loosened  her  nervous  grip  on  the  cords  of  her  purse. 

"  I'm  pretty  hard  to  reach  up  here,"  he  went  on. 
"  Last  year  I  thought  I  would  take  a  place  back  of  the 
alteration  department  on  the  third  floor.  But  I  can 
work  better  here  where  it  is  so  quiet,  even  though  my 
friends  do  have  to  go  on  a  tour  of  exploration  whenever 
they  want  to  find  me." 

Hagar  agreed  with  him  that  it  was  quieter  here. 

"  I'll  make  out  your  slip,"  he  said,  and  took  down  a 
little  box  of  yellow  printed  cards.  Writing  her  name  at 


Hagar  Revelly  93 

the  bottom  of  one,  he  handed  it  to  her  with  a  gentle 
smile. 

*'  There  you  are,  Miss  Revelly,  and  let  me  know  when- 
ever things  don't  go  just  right." 

"  You  are  very  kind,  Mr.  Greenfield,"  said  she,  with 
an  intense  desire  to  get  out  of  the  door  as  soon  as  pos- 
sible. 

He  turned  the  knob  for  her  and  wished  her  good- 
night, and  before  she  knew  it  she  was  in  the  elevator 
again. 

At  the  supper  table  that  evening  she  experienced  a  cer- 
tain feeling  of  aloofness  and  superiority  over  her  fellow 
boarders.  She  was  not  even  bothered  by  the  brassy  voice 
of  Miss  La  Motte,  a  chorus  girl  whom  she  abhorred  be- 
cause of  her  heavily  pencilled  lashes. 

But,  when  she  reached  her  room,  the  place  seemed  un- 
usually stuffy,  small  and  uncomfortable. 

The  days  went  by  evenly  enough  after  that  and  Green- 
field's kindness  to  her  was  a  source  of  much  happiness. 
Somehow  his  notice  of  her  gave  her  self-assurance  and 
poise. 

Herrick  came  quite  often  to  see  her  too,  and  she  was 
always  glad  when  she  heard  from  him  or  found  him  await- 
ing her  in  the  little  parlor  downstairs. 

He  had  been  getting  along  very  well  and  proudly  told 
her  that  a  design  of  his  for  a  window  had  been  accepted 
by  the  company.  There  was  a  good  deal  of  comfort  and 
pleasure  for  them  both  in  their  meetings,  as  he  talked 
about  her  work  and  asked  her  advice  on  different  sub- 
jects. He  was  still  boarding  with  her  mother  but  never 
discussed  home  matters.  However,  one  night  when  they 
were  going  down  in  the  subway  to  the  Brooklyn  Bridge 
station  for  Coney  Island,  he  said  very  suddenly,  "  I  can't 
understand  why  you  don't  come  home." 


94  Hagar  Revelly 

The  train  was  rushing  through  the  dull  warm  at- 
mosphere and  he  had  to  speak  loudly. 

"  You  come  there  often  enough,  why  don't  you  move 
back?  Just  think  how  nice  it  would  be  to  see  each  other 
all  the  time  like  that." 

"  Oh,  I  couldn't  do  that,"  she  replied. 

"You  couldn't?" 

"  No." 

"  I  don't  see  why  not." 

"  You  don't  know  —  all  the  facts,"  she  said  mysteri- 
ously. "  If  you  did  you  wouldn't  ask  me  to  go  back. 
Then  I'm  happier  the  way  things  are,  anyway." 

"What  are  — the  facts?" 

She  hesitated.  "  Oh,  just  a  family  secret,"  she  an- 
swered, refusing  to  divulge  anything  further. 

The  last  closing  days  of  the  gay  resort  were  approach- 
ing and  they  found  very  few  people.  Everything  looked 
so  dreary,  they  decided  they  would  first  go  to  some  pa- 
vilion and  get  a  drink.  And  it  was  after  they  had 
reached  a  restaurant  done  in  Japanese  fashion,  and  were 
sitting  over  a  lemonade  and  a  glass  of  beer,  that  she 
suddenly  broke  the  long  spell  of  silence  and  put  to  him, 
a  hypothetical  question,  embroidered  in  words  that  were 
forcedly  disinterested. 

"  Tell  me,  Mr.  Herrick  — " 

"  Call  me  Frank,"  he  interrupted.  "  You  might  as 
well.  I  guess  this  is  about  the  tenth  time  I've  asked 
you  to ! " 

She  laughed.  "  Well,  Frank,  then,  if  you'll  have  it 
so.  I'm  going  to  ask  you  a  certain  question  and  I  want 
you  just  to  answer  it  the  way  I  ask  it,  and  don't  think  it 
applies  to  me  or  anything." 

He  was  very  attentive  in  the  instant. 

"  At  your  service,"  he  said,  with  a  mock  effort  at  being 
dignified. 


Hagar  Revelly  95 

"  Well,"  she  continued  with  deliberation ;  "  if  you  were 
a  girl  who  lived  at  home,  with  her  mother  and  her  father 
—  and  —  your  father  was  —  dead,  and  another  man  loved 
your  mother  very  deeply  —  and  you  found  this  other  man 
was  beginning  to  care  for  you  and  breaking  your  mother's 
heart  —  what  would  you  do  then  ?  Wouldn't  you  leave, 
too?" 

He  looked  at  her  in  surprise.  "  Is  that  your  case, 
Hagar?" 

"  Why  —  of  course  not.  But  I  know  a  girl  in  a  fix 
like  that." 

"What  did  you  say  too,  for,  then?" 

"Did  I  say  — too?" 

"  Sure,  you  did." 

"  Well,  I  don't  know  why  I  said  that,  I  didn't  mean 
to,"  she  replied,  much  confused. 

The  young  man  gave  her  question  some  very  deep  and 
apparent  thought  before  he  answered  her.  "  I  don't 
know  what  I  would  do,  Hagar.  If  I  was  the  daughter, 
and  thought  the  man  loved  my  mother  so,  I'd  wonder,  I 
suppose,  why  they  didn't  get  married." 

"  Oh,  I  forgot  to  say  that  in  this  case  they  couldn't 
get  married  because  the  man  was  so  poor." 

Herrick  puckered  his  lips.  "  Rather  a  complicated 
affair,  isn't  it?  "  Then  he  asked  why  the  man  didn't 
work  harder  and  make  more  money. 

"  Oh,  he  can't  make  money  —  he's  a  writer,"  she  an- 
swered, innocently. 

Herrick  thought  for  some  time,  interspersing  his  ques- 
tions with  shallow  gulps  of  beer.  Her  problem  changed 
him  into  a  person  of  serious  mien  and  ruffled  brows. 

"  It's  pretty  complicated,"  he  said  at  last.  "  But  I 
suppose  it  would  come  down  to  this.  If  that  man  cared 
enough  for  my  mother,  he  wouldn't  care  for  me  —  and 
if  he  cared  for  me,  I  suppose  my  mother  would  be  glad 


9<J  'Hagar  Revelly 

if  she  knew  I  cared  for  him.  But  if  the  girl  doesn't 
care  for  him  and  the  mother  — " 

"  Oh,  you  don't  understand,"  she  exclaimed.  "  Let's 
talk  about  something  else." 

He  looked  at  her  a  little  hurt.  It  seemed  to  him  that, 
had  she  given  him  time,  he  would  have  cleared  the  situa- 
tion. 

"  As  you  wish,  my  child,"  he  said,  with  the  thought 
that  Hagar  was  a  strange  person. 

Then  he  suggested  a  ride  on  the  switch-back. 

"  Oh,  I'd  be  afraid,"  she  cried,  at  the  same  time  glad 
of  the  suggestion. 

"  Oh,  you  needn't  be.  I'll  —  hold  you  tight,"  he  told 
her. 

He  bought  the  two  tickets  of  a  vender  in  the  middle 
of  the  empty  street,  and  then  going  through  the  turn- 
stiles they  jumped  into  the  last  seat  of  a  moving  machine 
as  it  whisked  past  them  to  a  stop. 

"  It's  better  in  the  last  seat,"  he  explained. 

For  a  moment  the  little  wheels  began  to  move  under 
the  cars,  and  the  car  had  no  sooner  gained  a  momentum 
as  they  rushed  along  the  shining,  black,  narrow  tracks, 
than  they  reached  one  of  the  steep  inclines.  There  was 
a  grating,  screeching  sound,  a  sudden  jerk,  a  plunge, 
and  a  withering  jar  as  they  flashed  up  on  to  a  high  turn. 

"  It's  a  little  scary,  at  first,  isn't  it?  "  he  said  loudly 
in  her  ear.  "  This  isn't  your  first  time,  is  it?  " 

She  shook  her  head,  thinking  it  better  to  answer  him 
in  this  fashion  than  to  yell  a  reply  above  the  din  and 
clangor  of  the  rushing  cars. 

Then  they  whirled  past  a  curve  into  a  long,  black 
tunnel-like  passage.  Here  it  was  very  dark  and  the  two 
cars  tore  along  madly,  as  if  the  first  one  were  a  frenzied 
thing,  running  away  from  the  desperate,  plunging  pur- 
suit of  the  second. 


Hagar  Revelly  97 

With  one  hand  Hagar  held  tightly  to  her  red  sailor 
straw  hat,  while  with  the  other,  she  frantically  grasped 
a  narrow  brass  rail  in  front  of  her. 

And  now  came  a  precipitous  lunge  of  the  cars,  with 
two  shorter  jerks  followed  by  another  and  deeper  plunge. 
It  made  her  cry  out  in  fear.  Her  hat  was  tearing  loose 
from  her  hair  and  she  felt  herself  whirling  around  and 
around,  and  thrown  from  one  side  of  the  car  to  the  other. 

Herrick  kept  one  hand  back  of  her  and  as  they  passed 
around  the  last  curve,  partly  by  intention,  he  allowed 
himself  to  come  against  her. 

Hagar  felt  his  arm  around  her  in  that  moment  and 
his  face  against  her  own.  A  second  later  and  their  car 
glided  gracefully  into  a  long,  well-lighted  passage-way, 
lined  by  people  awaiting  their  turn. 

"  Do  you  want  another  trip  ?  "  he  asked,  as  they  stepped 
out. 

"  Lord,  no !  "  she  answered. 

She  waited  until  they  were  well  out  of  the  building 
before  she  spoke  again.  Then  she  surprised  him  by 
bursting  out  with  a  great  show  of  temper. 

"  What  do  you  mean,  Mr.  Herrick,  by  trying  to  kiss 
me?  "  she  said  to  him  fiercely. 

"  Why,  I  —  I  was  only  holding  you  in  the  car,"  he 
answered  with  a  guilty  smile,  as  much  as  to  say :  "  Well, 
what  difference  would  it  have  made  if  I  had?  " 

"  Well,  don't  you  do  it  again,"  she  said  hotly.  "  You 
don't  act  like  a  man  —  who  understood  women." 

No  sooner  had  she  said  the  words  than  she  wondered 
whence  they  had  sprung  from.  They  sounded  strangely 
familiar  to  her  ears.  Only  after  some  time  did  she  recol- 
lect a  conversation  in  which  Miss  Gillespie  had  related 
how  she  had  handled  a  man  that  got  "  too  fresh." 

Herrick  and  Hagar  walked  along  for  a  few  minutes, 
the  entire  space  of  the  sidewalk  separating  them. 


98  Hagar  Revelly 

Then  he  spoke  up.  "  It's  no  use  for  you  to  get  so 
worked  up  about  it.  I  like  you  and  you  know  it.  And 
we've  known  each  other  pretty  long  anyway.  We're  not 
children,  any  more." 

She  appeared  to  be  weighing  his  argument,  then  in  a 
manner  that  showed  her  temper  had  abated,  said: 

"How  old  are  you?" 

"  Guess." 

"I  can't." 

"  Well  • —  just  say  anything,  twenty-one  —  twenty- 
five—" 

"  Oh,  I  guess  you're  about  thirty,"  after  appearing  to 
have  studied  the  matter  carefully. 

Pleased  a  good  deal  because  her  fury  had  lessened,  but 
more  because  she  thought  him  much  older  than  he  really 
was,  he  gave  a  boisterous  laugh. 

"Why,  I'm  only  twenty-two,"  he  said.  "Though  I 
never  let  'em  at  the  shop  know  it."  Very  proudly  he 
added :  "  They  think  I'm  about  twenty-eight,  I  sup- 
pose." 

They  talked  on,  quite  friendly  again.  Knowing  that 
he  was  nearer  her  own  age  seemed  suddenly  to  make  the 
situation  infinitely  pleasanter  for  her.  She  could  not 
word  the  thought,  but  had  she  been  able,  it  would  have 
been  that  now  he  seemed  less  the  lover  and  more  the 
friend,  or  better  perhaps,  that  he  was  more  a  playmate 
and  would  understand  her  games.  Hagar  had  a  pe- 
culiar understanding  of  men,  which  made  her  feel  in- 
stinctively that  from  the  older  men  should  she  fear  love 
making  and  that  younger  men  were  meant  to  be  friends 
or  playmates. 

It  was  past  one  o'clock  in  the  morning  when  they 
reached  her  home. 

In  the  darkened  vestibule,  their  faces  quite  touched  in 
a  search  for  the  keyhole.  Suddenly  Herrick  reached  his 


Hagar  Revelly  99 

arm  around  her  waist  and  drew  her  to  him,  and  with  a 
diplomacy  bred  by  instinct  and  contact  with  her  sex, 
he  looked  silently  into  her  face. 

"  You're  a  dear  little  girl,  Hagar,"  he  said,  and  then 
gently,  well  before  she  was  aware  of  it,  he  kissed  her  ten- 
derly, firmly,  on  the  lips. 

The  silence  about  them,  the  faint  rays  of  the  electric 
light  on  the  corner,  ever;  'hing  that  had  a  part  in  the 
situation,  seemed  to  give  silent  consent.  Nor  had  she 
a  wish  to  offer  resistance;  though  when  she  had  run  up 
the  stairs  and  reached  her  room,  she  could  not  account 
for  her  lessened  self-control.  Instead  of  being  angry, 
she  was  queerly  pleased  and  comfortable.  She  felt  still 
the  pressure  of  his  hands  —  and  the  imprint  of  his  lips 
—  felt  this  so  strongly  she  even  went  over  to  the  mirror 
with  an  odd  sensation  of  shame,  to  see  if  there  still  re- 
mained on  her  lips  some  sign  of  his  daring. 

She  did  not  think  that  she  loved  him ;  she  really  forgot 
his  identity  at  that  moment.  It  was  only  the  kiss  that 
remained  by  her  —  a  picture,  nearly  the  first  picture,  of 
an  emotion  created  by  a  man. 

And  the  bouquet  of  it  hovered  perilously  near  her 
throughout  the  night,  even  anesthetizing  her  sense  of 
duty,  so  that  in  the  morning,  for  the  first  time  since  she 
had  entered  this  new  life,  she  did  not  hear  the  jubilant 
approach  of  day,  voiced  by  the  shrill  cries  of  every  alarm 
clock  on  her  floor. 

Instead,  she  overslept  herself,  and  was  compelled  to 
go  to  her  work  without  first  breakfasting. 


CHAPTER  XI 

NOT  long  after  accepting  her  position  at  the  Opera, 
Thatah  discovered  there  was  to  be  derived,  even  from  the 
details  of  her  work,  a  real  pleasure.  The  simplest  act, 
like  going  to  the  door  and  informing  callers  that  Mr. 
Graveur  would  see  them  in  a  moment,  gave  her  much  sat- 
isfaction; it  pleased  her  to  interview,  so  nonchalantly, 
the  great  men  and  women  she  had  hitherto  only  read 
about. 

There  were  always  singers  and  musicians  calling  for 
their  mail,  or  asking  for  the  secretary,  and  she  took 
great  delight  in  hearing  these  people  talk,  or  in  study- 
ing the  cut  of  their  clothes. 

One  day  a  little  woman,  with  small,  round  face  and  an 
old  faded  parasol  in  her  hands,  came  tripping  into  the 
private  office  and  over  to  Mr.  Graveur's  desk  without 
waiting  for  an  announcement. 

"  Hello,  Louis,"  she  said,  in  a  high-pitched,  piping 
voice. 

Mr.  Graveur  looked  up,  in  a  surprised  way,  and  then, 
as  a  look  of  recognition  swept  over  his  face,  said :  "  Oh, 
hello,  Rita." 

"  How  about  the  contract  ?  "  she  asked  directly. 

He  hesitated.  "  Oh,  well,  Rita,  I  guess  we'll  have  to 
wait  until  fall.  I  haven't  heard  from  the  other  side  yet, 
you  know." 

She  shook  her  head  knowingly.  "  You  are  a  cute  lot 
here.  But,  I'll  see  you  later." 

As  the  woman  passed  out,  she  said  to  the  clerk  at  the 
little  mail  window  — "  Charlie,  don't  forget  —  The 

Elysee  Palace  —  Paris,  until  November  first." 

100 


Hagar  Revelly    ,  101 

Thatah  was  on  the  verge  of  asking  who  the  little  lady 
might  be,  when  Graveur  exclaimed :  "  That  was  Rita 
Pasale.  She  leads  the  ballet  in  Aida.  She  wants  more 
money  this  year."  And  then,  by  way  of  explanation: 
"  I  knew  her  in  Milan." 

"She  isn't  the  slave-girl,  is  she?"  asked  Thatah,  re- 
membering the  slight  girlish  figure  in  the  first  formation 
of  the  ballet. 

"  Yes,  the  slave-girl,  Thatah.  She's  married  now  to 
a  fool  in  Italy.  But  she  left  him  a  year  ago  and  brought 
her  three  children  with  her.  Her  eldest  son  is  a  cow- 
boy in  La  Fauciulla  del  West." 

"  Why,  she  looks  so  childish  on  the  stage." 

"  She's  got  a  good  soul.  That  keeps  her  young," 
Graveur  answered,  adding  that  the  little  dancer's  body 
was  nearer  fifty  than  forty. 

The  days  passed  pleasantly  for  Thatah.  Louis 
Graveur  was  an  interesting  man  in  many  ways.  She 
liked  his  soft,  brownish  hair  turning  grey  over  the  tem- 
ples, his  kind,  grey  eyes,  the  olive-tinted  skin.  Even 
his  movements,  so  gentle  and  quiet,  seemed  to  be  a  com- 
ponent part  of  his  appearance.  They  seemed  to  match 
up  with  his  physical  aspect,  just  as  some  stretch  of 
landscape  may  be  compared  in  tone  to  a  bit  of  music. 

He  moved  about  quickly  and  always  silently,  yet  there 
was  something  unusual  and  distinctive  in  the  way  he  lit 
his  cigarette  or  fingered  a  pencil  on  his  desk.  She  also 
noticed  a  certain  boyishness  in  his  manner.  Sometimes 
he  would  sit  still  for  a  long  time,  and  then  of  a  sudden, 
jump  up  and  do  what  was  his  intent  in  a  moment.  But 
it  was  always  done  gracefully,  and  he  would  never  upset 
things  or  crush  the  tenderest  objects.  He  was  the  sort 
of  big  man  who  could  carry  a  fly  between  his  thumb  and 
finger  for  half  an  hour  and  then  set  it  free,  unharmed. 

Thatah,  who  had  formerly  come  to  feel  that  she  must 


108  Hagar  Revelly 

forever  bury  as  something  beyond  hope,  her  secret  yearn- 
ing for  colorful  things,  found  new  interest  in  him. 

One  morning  he  told  her  about  himself. 

He  had  started  out,  intending  to  fit  himself  for  an 
operatic  career,  but  lack  of  money  made  him  go  through 
many  hardships,  and  at  last  he  was  forced  to  give  up. 
In  Paris  he  was  compelled  to  live  amongst  a  group  of 
other  poverty-stricken  students,  and  illness  made  work 
impossible;  in  Milan  where  he  at  last  obtained  an  unim- 
portant part,  the  company  disbanded. 

At  twenty-seven  he  accepted  a  clerk's  position  in  the 
business  department  of  the  Milan  Opera,  and  from  that 
time  he  had  risen  in  this  branch  of  the  work  until  he  had 
come  to  America  to  receive  the  office  of  Secretary. 

"  Often  when  I  fall  to  wondering  over  my  rather  un- 
expected fate,"  he  told  her,  "  I  find  it  difficult  to  re- 
linquish my  former  desire  for  another  life,  or  rather 
another  career.  When  a  tenor  runs  over  the  brilliant 
tints  of  an  upper  register,  I  find  strange  spasms  in  my 
throat.  It  makes  me  feel  for  a  moment  that  I'll  go  back 
to  it.  Of  course,  it's  too  late  now,"  he  laughed. 

That  day,  she  came  back  from  lunch  a  bit  earlier  than 
usual  and  found  him  sitting  studiously  at  his  desk,  ap- 
parently not  noticing  her. 

"  You  see  how  punctual  I  am,"  she  said. 

He  looked  up  at  her.  In  his  eyes  came  an  admiring 
smile. 

"  I  wouldn't  reprimand  you  if  you  were  late,"  he  re- 
plied. He  thought  for  a  moment.  "  Why,  I  haven't 
said  a  cross  word  to  you  in  the  months  you've  been  here, 
have  I?  " 

"  Yes,  you  have." 

"When?" 

Thatah  thought  of  a  conversation  in  which  he  had 
told  her  of  an  expression  she  always  wore  on  her  face. 


Hagar  Revelly  103 

"  When  you  said  I  was  always  sad-looking." 

"Well,  wasn't  that  the  truth?"  Then  he  went  on 
more  emphatically,  "  Why  is  it  that  you  are  always  so  — 
well,  sad,  isn't  the  word,  it  is  more  that  you  appear  to 
wonder  at  things,  Thatah." 

"  I  do  wonder  at  things,"  she  replied.  "  But  is  that 
strange?  " 

"  It's  unusual  —  but  you  are  unusual  anyway,  very 
unusual,"  he  added,  with  a  toss  of  his  hand.  "  Do  you 
know  that?" 

Thatah  took  off  her  jacket  and  hung  it  in  the  cloak- 
room. When  she  came  back  she  asked  him  why  he 
thought  so. 

"  Oh,  it's  your  little  eccentricities ;  you're  so  erratic. 
Last  week  you  were  very  kind  to  me.  This  week  you  are 
so  superior.  I  dare  not  look  at  you." 

Thatah  drew  her  lips  up  a  little  haughtily. 

"  That's  the  way  I  want  to  be.  God  pity  those  who 
are  so  placed  they  can  never  do  anything  erratic." 

For  a  time  they  busied  themselves  with  indexing  the 
subscription  list.  Then  Graveur  began  to  talk  of  the 
state  of  mind  of  the  different  artists. 

"  Some  of  them  are  so  self-conscious,"  he  said.  "  Now 
I've  always  been  very  self-conscious,  nearly  girlish  in- 
deed, but  I  don't  believe  that  I've  been  conscious  of  my 
arms  and  legs  or  of  the  impression  I  made  on  my  fellow- 
men.  It's  more  that  I  have  been  conscious  of  my  state 
of  mind,  or  the  impression  I  was  making  on  God." 

Before  he  went  on  he  thought  for  a  minute. 

"  Oh,  when  I  come  to  think,  I  suppose  if  I  were  an 
artist  I  would  be  as  bad  as  the  rest  of  them.  I  remember 
once,  when  I  was  a  little  fellow,  that  I  stopped  my  crying 
just  because  I  suddenly  discovered  that  my  tears  were 
running  down  from  the  outside  corner  of  my  eye  instead 
of  from  the  inside  corner.  And  again,  one  day  at  about 


104  Hagar  Revelly 

my  seventh  year,  when  I  was  sick  and  very  pale,  I  climbed 
into  a  chair  and  stood  in  front  of  the  mirror  on  my 
mother's  chiffonier,  watching  myself  growing  whiter  and 
whiter  until  I  dropped  in  a  faint  to  the  floor.  Now, 
how's  that  for  self-consciousness?" 

"  I  think  you  might  have  made  a  very  temperamental 
opera  singer,"  was  Thatah's  reply,  though,  as  she  an- 
swered him,  she  thought  how  strange  it  was  that  he  should 
so  belittle  himself  before  her.  And  she  thought,  too,  of 
her  father  with  his  meek  manner.  There  seemed  a  cer- 
tain parallelism  between  these  two  men,  though  she  could 
not  quite  name  it. 

After  they  had  finished  the  work  and  he  was  putting 
back  the  files,  Graveur  turned  to  her,  saying,  as  he  studied 
her  face :  "  You  know,  Thatah,  you  puzzle  me  more  each 
day.  I  hardly  know  how  to  handle  you." 

This  was  really  the  first  confession  of  a  thought  that 
had  been  bothering  him  for  many  weeks.  He  had  dis- 
cerned long  before  from  the  manner  of  their  conversa- 
tion that  he  could  discuss  with  her,  quite  freely,  almost 
any  subject.  And  yet  each  time  it  was  with  some  fear 
and  trepidation  that  he  would  start  to  talk  upon  a  sub- 
ject that  was  a  little  unconventional.  Though  she  would 
discuss  freely  with  him  any  argument  which  he  brought 
up,  there  was  always  a  childishness  and  naivete  in  her 
manner  which  he  could  not  fathom. 

One  day  he  came  across  in  print,  a  theory  advanced  by 
a  well-known  professor,  that  had  to  do  with  the  impor- 
tance of  recognizing  a  state  which  the  scholar  called 
"  Psychic  Cohesiveness."  He  told  Thatah  about  this  and 
they  spoke  in  a  quite  unembarrassed  way  about  sex,  as  it 
concerned  the  theory. 

Thatah  was  surprised  at  herself,  but  somehow  she 
felt  absolutely  free  and  secure  in  the  presence  of  this 
man  and  was  only  glad  of  the  opportunity  he  gave  her  to 


Hagar  Revelly  105 

explain  some  of  the  views  that  had  come  from  her  per- 
sistent reading. 

The  conversation  had  gradually  drifted  into  a  discus- 
sion of  the  blind  course  that  a  woman  of  Graveur's  ac- 
quaintance had  taken,  and  Thatah  startled  him  by  the 
seriousness  and  depth  of  her  views. 

"  A  woman  can  give  herself  in  only  two  ways,"  she 
told  him.  "  She  may  do  it  out  of  the  joy  of  life  and 
not  follow  any  special  moral  rule,  or  she  may  do  it  be- 
cause she  really  cares. 

"  In  either  of  these  cases  I  can't  see  what  the  church 
or  marriage  has  to  do  with  it.  Why  should  she  ask  the 
blessing  of  the  church?  It  is  not  a  question  of  right  or 
wrong  but  only  whether  or  not  you  act  sincerely,  and 
that  you  are  doing  no  more  harm  to  others,  than  is  need- 
ful to  get  some  good  for  yourself." 

He  knew  her  better  after  that.  He  found  that  beneath 
her  long  silences,  her  nearly  perpetual  sombreness,  there 
was  hidden  an  intense  desire  for  life  that  was  fairly  prime- 
val in  its  innocence. 

He  could  not  know  the  periods  of  self-searching  and 
studying  she  had  passed  through  in  the  last  few  months. 
Thatah  herself  felt  she  was  immeasurably  more  wise  and 
experienced  than  she  had  been  only  three  months  before. 
In  this  time  she  had  observed  the  people  about  her,  had 
looked  into  their  lives,  and  compared  them  with  her  own. 

Graveur  grew  fonder  of  her  as  the  days  passed  and  her 
frankness  was  her  best  protection.  Her  little  rebellious 
talks  against  conventions  and  life,  only  brought  to  him  a 
greater  reverence  for  the  confidence,  really  increasing 
her  goodness  in  his  eyes.  Here  was  a  woman,  new  to  his 
experience;  a  woman  who  lived  in  the  very  midst  of  sub- 
terfuge and  continental  liaisons,  who  still  did  not,  for  an 
instant,  lose  any  of  the  maiden  shyness  or  charm  that 
comes  from  purity  of  mind. 


106  Hagar  Revelly 

Once,  in  one  of  their  unconventional  talks,  they  turned 
to  Schopenhauer  and  his  regard  for  women.  Thatah 
had  read  a  little  essay  Graveur  had  given  her  just  the 
day  before. 

"  All  the  mean  things  he  says  are  true,  I  suppose," 
said  she. 

"  True  ?  "  he  exclaimed. 

She  thought  for  a  moment.  "  Except  in  one  place, 
where  he  says  women  are  horrid  because  they  are  too  fat. 
I  get  him  there,  don't  I?  And  he  really  is  a  way  off 
when  he  says  men  are  superior  to  women.  He  was  prob- 
ably an  intelligent  person  and  judged  all  men  by  him- 
self, but  I'm  sure  he  judged  women  by  only  the  women 
with  whom  he  associated.  And  I  guess  they  didn't  know 
much.  Intelligent  men  never  run  to  intelligent  women, 
do  they?  " 

Graveur  arose  from  his  desk.  "  I  believe  you  are 
becoming  cynical,  Thatah,"  he  said,  regarding  her  curi- 
ously. 

"  Well,"  she  replied,  smiling  and  answering  his  stare 
in  a  child-like  way,  "  What  if  I  am  ?  "  It  seemed  that 
she  was  tempting  him,  even  daring  him  to  discuss  the 
usually  dangerous  subjects. 

"  Well,  I  don't  want  you  to.  You  are  too  young  for 
that." 

"  Are  you  saving  me  for  something  better  ?  " 

"  I  am,"  he  replied.  "  And  you  will  forget  your 
ideas  some  day  —  after  I  have  taught  you  my  opti- 
misms." 

Thatah  thought  she  discovered  his  hidden  meaning 
and  answered  him  in  a  surprisingly  frank  way. 

"  Mr.  Graveur,"  said  she,  "  I  admire  you  and  I  like 
you  and  you  are  so  kind  to  me.  And  yet,  when  you 
look  at  me  so  steadily,  I  somehow  feel  that  you  mean 
something  that  I  —  well,  that  I  don't  feel  at  all." 


Hagar  Revelly  107 

He  laughed  a  little.  "  You  are  indeed  frank,  Tha- 
tah." 

"  Isn't  that  the  way  to  be?  "  She  looked  up  with  wide 
open  eyes. 

The  conversation  ended  by  the  man  telling  her,  in 
somewhat  breaking  tones  what  an  odd  and  strange  little 
person  she  was. 

Her  relationship  with  this  older  man  was  the  cause  of 
much  perplexity  to  Thatah.  She  realized  that  she  could 
relieve  herself  of  much  misery  and  much  real  suffering  if 
she  would  let  herself  find  pleasure  in  being  with  him. 
But  there  was  something  more  she  wanted,  though  she 
could  not  explain  it  to  herself. 

It  bothered  her  to  think  that  she  could  not  forget  this, 
and  many  times,  while  she  was  sitting  at  the  side  of  his 
desk,  she  would  tell  herself  that  she  must  be  more  sensi- 
ble. And  then  Graveur  would  look  at  her  in  his  kindly, 
affectionate  way,  and  she  would  look  down  and  blush  and 
feel  guilty  because  the  old  feeling  of  indifference  would 
steal  through  her. 

But  the  other  side  of  her  life  had  not  changed  much. 

At  the  boarding  house  the  days  dragged  by  in  mo- 
notonous recurrence.  There  was  the  same  food,  the 
same  conversation,  the  same  disdainful  haughtiness  writ- 
ten on  the  face  of  the  poetess.  And  though  Thatah  felt 
that  her  lot  was  a  little  less  trying  since  she  had  taken 
a  position,  still  she  was  always  harassed  by  a  feeling  of 
arid  isolation  that  could  not  be  overcome. 

For  a  time  she  even  thought  her  father  a  little  less  mel- 
ancholic, a  bit  more  buoyant  and  cheerful.  But  these 
spells  would  last  for  only  a  few  days  and  then  he  would  go 
back  into  his  drab  mood  and  be  as  sad  as  before. 

In  the  early  part  of  December,  when  it  was  dark  at 
six  o'clock,  she  never  failed  to  find  him  sitting  in  front 
of  the  little  soft  coal  stove,  his  head  buried  in  his  hands 


108  Hagar  Revelly 

and  his  eyes  quite  closed,  so  that  he  wasn't  even  conscious 
of  her  entrance. 

He  seemed  changed  in  other  ways,  too.  His  words 
came  softer,  kinder,  though  as  Thatah  soon  perceived, 
more  replete  with  gloominess  and  analytical  searching. 

One  night,  she  came  in  covered  with  snow  from  a  storm 
that  had  lasted  throughout  the  day,  and  found  him  shak- 
ing with  emotion,  as  if  in  some  wild  dream. 

He  gave  a  start,  as  she  entered,  and  his  face  became 
pale  and  blanched. 

"  What  is  it,  father,"  she  asked,  thinking  she  had 
never  seen  him  look  so  ill  and  aged. 

He  answered  simply :  "  Ah,  I've  been  reading,  reading, 
Thatah."  As  he  handed  her  a  book  he  said,  "  I  find  a  place 
where  Faust  says  to  Satan :  *  Je  veux  un  tresor  qui  les 
contient  tous.  Je  veux  la  Jeunesse  — ' >: 

Then  he  quoted  in  English,  "  I  desire  a  treasure  that 
contains  them  all,  I  desire  youth." 

"  Yes,  Thatah,"  he  went  on.     "  It's  youth  —  youth  - 
and  I  haven't  it.     Oh,  be  careful,  little  girl,  and  don't 
waste  the  years  the  way  I  have  wasted  mine  —  on  some 
one  who  doesn't  care." 

"  You  are  thinking  too  seriously  again,  father,"  she 
interrupted,  taking  his  trembling  hands  and  burying  her 
face  in  them. 

He  gently  caressed  her  head,  saying :  *'  My  girl,  you 
are  understanding  more  and  more.  I  see  it  in  you.  And 
how  glad  I  am.  I  want  you  to  understand,  I  want  you 
to  know  what  there  is  in  life.  Oh,  how  wonderful  it  would 
be  if  you  should  grow  into  a  woman  who  would  not  sell 
ner  feelings  and  understanding,  because  of  the  fear  of 
passing  time. 

"  Every  life  is  a  mirror,  dear,"  he  went  on  slowly,  "  and 
reflected  impressions  stay  with  us.  Yes,  we  must  watch 
what  we  give  to  ourselves." 


Hagar  Revelly  109 

As  if  he  hesitated  to  word  the  thought  that  impelled 
him,  he  said :  "  I  think  I  can  tell  you  now,  Thatah.  I 
see  that  you  have  grown." 

"What  is  it,  father?" 

He  spent  a  long  time  in  thought  before  answering  her. 
Then  as  if  it  were  an  effort  to  convince  himself  of  the 
truthfulness  of  his  words,  he  told  her  that  happiness 
only  comes  after  one  has  disappointments  to  measure  it 

by. 

He  went  on,  talking  slowly  and  deliberately,  as  if  he 
were  telling  the  final  result  of  long  thinking,  as  if  it  were 
a  document  handed  down  as  the  complete  result  of  a  great 
problem. 

"  The  men  and  women  who  think  and  act  as  they  feel 
are  the  real  aristocrats  in  this  world.  And  their  suf- 
fering, the  suffering  that  comes  because  of  isolation  and 
cruel  misunderstanding  makes  their  persistence  noble 
and  glorious.  Yes,  Thatah  we  must  seek,  always  seek, 
and  never  give  up. 

"  Our  work,  our  art,  is  only  a  bit  of  a  holiday  from 
the  fruitless  search.  To  yearn  for  something  real,  that 
you  could  feel  in  your  very  breath,  against  your  lips 
and  cheek,  something,  that  if  it  were  tangible  and  you 
could  put  it  in  the  palm  of  your  hand,  you  would  know 
from  its  very  convolutions  to  be  happiness  —  ah,  Thatah, 
that  is  the  quest  of  life." 

From  downstairs  came  the  clanging  sounds  of  the 
dinner  bell,  and  in  a  moment,  a  maid  at  the  head  of  the 
stairs  had  announced,  "  Dinner,  dinner  — "  but  he  kept 
on  talking,  and  Thatah,  thoroughly  under  the  spell  in- 
voked by  the  unhappy  man,  felt  each  word  pierce  into 
her  being. 

Eman  Revelly  appeared  to  be  consumed  by  the  fire 
of  his  thoughts,  for  his  eyes  flashed  with  intensity,  while 
his  mouth,  always  so  drawn  and  cold  and  lifeless,  became 


110  ]Hagar  Revelly 

excited  and  virile  —  the  lips  drew  apart,  the  teeth  showed, 
he  was  a  being1  in  a  state  of  exaltation. 

"  Sometimes,"  he  said  to  her,  in  a  voice  that  was  a 
whisper,  "  I  am  throbbing  all  over.  Yes,  I  get  that  way, 
and  then  I  can  dissect  my  soul  nearly.  And  tear  out  my 
heart,  and  lay  it  out  before  me  as  if  on  a  table,  and  then 
say,  *  You  see  that  place  there  ? '  Well,  there  is  where 
I  imagined  I  was  happy  —  a  long  while  ago  —  before  I 
understood.  And  it  was  a  joke  .  .  .  And  that 
place?  Ah,  you  see  that  place  too,  do  you?  Well,  there 

—  I   thought   was   real   sympathy   and   feeling.     Yes,  a 
long  while   ago  —  before  I  understood.     And  it  was  a 
joke. 

"  Yes,  Thatah,  I  can  do  that  sort  of  thing  sometimes. 
And  when  I  do,  I  gloat  over  it  and  become  unhappier,  and 
mock  at  my  servitude  to  this  throbbing  thing  called 
Heart. 

"  Yes,  it  is  because  I  see  what  a  devilish  thing  it  is  to 
love,  and  yearn  —  that  they  call  me  crazy,  Thatah,"  he 
added,  as  if  in  an  afterthought. 

Thatah  drew  away  from  him.  Her  eyes  were  filled 
with  tears.  "  Oh,  father,  you  make  me  so  unhappy  talk- 
ing this  way,"  she  cried. 

He  went  on,  not  noticing.  "  Yes,  to-day,  at  the  or- 
chestra they  called  me  crazy.  Heineman  called  me  that 

—  because  I  feel  too  much  what  I  play.     They  say  I 
should  play  like  they  do  —  like  a  union  man  —  a  brick- 
layer —  and  when  the  'dinner  bell  rings  I  should  drop  my 
music,  my  soul,  and  go  eat  with  them,  some  ham  and  cab- 
bage." 

When  he  quieted  for  a  moment,  Thatah  suggested  that 
it  was  a  poor  idea  for  him  to  tell  them  about  his  under- 
standing and  feeling.  "  They  don't  understand  you, 
you  know  that,"  she  said.  "  That  is  the  reason  you  suf- 


Hagar  Revelly  111 

fer.  Why  don't  you  fool  them  and  keep  away  from  them 
what  you  feel  and  think.  That  is  the  reason  that 
mother  — " 

He  interrupted  her  quickly. 

"  Yes,  your  mother  —  well  —  she  said  I  was  crazy  too, 
because  she  didn't  understand  me.  No,  Thatah,"  he 
continued  somewhat  bitterly,  "  I  am  sane,  normal,  I  tell 
you.  Only  no  one  can  know  what  I  am  going  through." 

Noticing  that  his  face  at  that  moment  became  more 
pale,  she  asked  him  what  was  wrong. 

There  was  less  strength  in  his  voice  as  he  said :  Si  I 
have  a  continual  feeling,  Thatah,  very  odd,  as  if  I  were 
slipping.  It's  been  with  me  a  long  while.  And  though 
I  know  it  is  only  the  state  of  my  mind,  yet  I  can't  help  it. 
I  guess  I  haven't  much  left." 

"  Why,  father,  you  shouldn't  talk  so.  You  have  your 
wonderful  music." 

"  Yes,  perhaps  I  have.  But  one  disassociates  their 
life  from  their  art.  At  least  they  should.  In  my  life  — 
well,  it  hasn't  been  one  that  ran  along  brilliant  and  glow- 
ing with  flame." 

"  You  feel  too  intensely,  father.  Your  dreams  are  so 
high.  No  one  could  expect  to  reach  them." 

"  My  only  dream  was  for  happiness.  And  that  is 
everybody's  right." 

"  You  were  happy  in  Vienna,  weren't  you,  father?  " 
argued  Thatah. 

"  Very,"  he  smiled,  reminiscently. 

"  Well,  then,  you  ought  to  be  happy  here.  I  know 
you  have  a  lot  of  friends  in  the  orchestra,  and  other 
places." 

Her  father  laughed  a  little  strangely.  "  Thatah, 
listen.  Here  is  a  quotation  from  the  great  Nietzsche  — 
he  says :  *  They  all  speak  of  me  when  they  sit  around 


Hagar  Revelly 

their  fire  in  the  evening  —  they  speak  of  me,  but  no  one 
thinketh  of  me.'  Nietzsche  knew  the  world  well  when  he 
said  that." 

Immediately  Thatah  was  aroused. 

"In  what  book  is  that,   father?"   she   asked. 

"  I  am  not  sure.  In  *  Thus  Spake  Zarathustra,'  I 
think." 

"  You  read  him,  a  good  deal?  " 

"  He  is  my  religion.     Why,  child  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  thought  he  only  made  people  happy." 

"  Ah,  happy.  Nietzsche  saw  the  impossibility  of 
that." 

"  But  wasn't  he  happy,  with  his  own  philosophy  ?  " 
she  asked. 

"  He  was  happy,  my  dear,  in  his  disillusionment." 

Revelly  arose  now  and  with  much  effort  went  to  the 
bookcase,  and  took  out  a  book  that  contained  on  its  front 
cover,  a  picture  of  the  author  they  had  been  discussing. 

"  I  don't  think  that  Nietzsche  was  an  unhappy  man," 
he  said,  as  he  handed  the  book  to  Thatah.  "  And  still 
when  you  study  his  face  you  see  it  lined  by  sorrow.  It 
was  because  his  mind  had  used  his  face  as  a  waste  tab- 
let, there  to  trace  its  struggles,  its  doubts,  its  passions." 
The  professor  paused.  "  He  found  happiness  in  knowing 
that  his  message  was  new. 

"  After  all,  no  matter  how  ignorant  or  intelligent  a 
person  is,  their  happiness  depends  upon  having  something 
that  fills  their  life  so  completely  it  blots  out  everything 
else.  I  remember  a  German  student  friend  of  mine  in 
the  old  Vienna  days.  His  whole  life  was  centred  in  a 
certain  pride  he  took  in  himself  because  he,  of  all  his 
neighbors  and  friends,  knew  that  to  walk  any  great  dis- 
tance without  fatigue,  one  must  walk  with  the  knees  bent. 
And  he  was  an  interesting  sight,  stalking  about  the 
streets,  his  knees  bent,  and  a  benignant  smile  covering 


Hagar  Revelly  113 

his  face,  as  if  he,  of  all  the  world's  inhabitants,  knew  how 
to  walk.  This  bit  of  illusion  filled  his  life  and  kept  him 
happy. 

"  In  Nietzsche's  case,  the  man  was  obsessed  by  an  idea 
wrought  from  his  intelligence,  and  he  was  so  wrapped  up 
in  the  happiness  of  having  it,  that,  I  am  sure,  he  had  no 
time  to  realize  its  sadness." 

Thatah  suddenly  perceived  another  aspect  to  his  story. 

"  Then  why  aren't  you  that  way,  father?  "  she  ques- 
tioned. 

"  I  haven't  anything  to  fool  me.  That  is  the  reason," 
he  answered.  "  I  am  starving  mentally.  And  I  can't 
help  realizing  it." 

Only  after  many  minutes  of  begging,  could  Thatah 
persuade  him  to  turn  from  his  soul-searching  mood.  But 
she  did  succeed,  and  when  they  entered  the  dining-room, 
she  was  surprised  to  see  him  strangely  gay  and  light- 
hearted,  and  to  hear  him  greet  each  of  the  boarders  with 
a  separate  courteous  phrase. 

They  had  for  supper  that  night,  what  Mrs.  Neer  called 
blue-fish. 

"You  care  for  blue-fish,  professor?"  asked  some  one 
at  the  table  as  he  seated  himself. 

"  Yes,"  he  answered,  "  and  I  fancy  that  this  one's 
blueness  brought  him  into  even  greater  tragedy." 

Mrs.  Neer  at  the  end  of  the  table  looked  up  at  his 
vague  remark,  and  scenting  some  slur  in  his  speech,  she 
frowned.  "  You  mean  it  isn't  good,  Herr  professor?  " 
—  she  always  used  "  Herr  "  when  in  temper. 

"  Oh,"  he  answered,  looking  around  nervously,  "  I 
meant  simply  to  say  that  this  fish  had  some  physical  dis- 
order, even  more  than  is  shown  by  his  mental  state.  I 
should  say  he  was  one  of  those  unfortunate  creatures 
that  never  attracted  the  attention  of  other  fishes  and  so 
grew  tough  and  shrivelled  up." 


114?  'Hagar  Revelly 

A  distinct  murmur  passed  around  the  table,  as  Revelly 
went  on  eating.  In  that  moment  even,  though  Thatah 
was  conscious  of  the  disapproval  shown  by  the  other 
lodgers,  she  offered  up  a  little  prayer  of  thankfulness 
that  his  spirit  was  lighter  again  and  his  mood  bantering 
and  playful.  It  had  been  a  long  while  since  she  had  seen 
him  this  way. 

Then  Mr.  Samuel,  the  young  man  sitting  at  the  side  of 
Thatah,  discoursed  on  a  medical  subject  —  the  crenated 
red  blood  cell.  "  It's  this  cell  that  causes  all  the  mischief 
in  pale,  anemic  women,"  he  began.  "  My  company  re- 
gard *  Erythrohydrate '  the  new  drug  they  are  putting 
on  the  market,  as  a  sure  cure  for  this  condition."  While 
everyone  watched,  he  traced  with  his  fork  a  little  ragged 
outline  on  the  table-cloth,  showing  the  appearance  of  the 
crenated  cell,  and  entered  into  a  discussion  concerning  it, 
which  confused  very  much,  the  middle-aged  poetess.  He 
talked  about  the  women  who  clung  to  their  maiden  modesty 
with  the  unceasing  efforts  of  a  martyr. 

"  Why,  that's  the  trouble  with  these  pale  young  girls 
you  see  all  the  time,"  he  said,  going  on  to  describe  an 
article  which  told  that  seventy  per  cent,  of  the  trouble 
that  bothered  women  was  due  to  a  change  in  the  red 
blood  corpuscles. 

"  Our  manager  is  going  to  quote  that  article.  I  tell 
you  it'll  bring  in  the  letters  of  inquiry  from  the  back 
woods." 

He  was  exultant  and  happy  in  the  thought  that  all 
were  listening  to  the  marvellous  words  he  had  only  that 
afternoon  memorized  from  their  pamphlet. 

Suddenly  he  was  interrupted  by  Mrs.  Cortello. 

"  Don't  you  think,  Mr.  Samuels,  we  had  better  not  dis- 
cuss medical  subjects  at  the  meal  hour?  " 

The  boy  blushed  maiden-like.     "  Why,  I  was  only  ex- 


Hagar  Revelly  115 

plaining  to  Miss  —  to  Professor  Revelly's  daughter,  the 
reason  — " 

He  stopped  short,  embarrassed  to  find  the  different 
meaning  he  had  taken  of  their  silence.  "  I'm  sorry,"  he 
said,  and  buried  himself  in  another  helping  of  po- 
tatoes. 

As  time  went  on,  Thatah  went  more  resignedly  to  each 
meal,  though  they  never  ceased  to  be  ordeals.  It  tore 
her  heart  nearly  to  smile  inanely  at  some  remark,  or 
laughingly  acquiesce  with  their  judgment. 

"  Yes,  I  quite  agree  with  you,"  she  would  always  say, 
finding  it  the  better  method  to  agree ;  though  no  sooner 
would  she  reach  her  room,  than  her  hypocrisy  would  slap 
her  in  the  face.  Often  she  wished  that  something  would 
happen  to  keep  her  from  ever  again  being  compelled  to 
talk  to  these  people. 

As  the  winter  passed,  Thatah,  looking  back  over  the 
months,  fancied  that  she  had  aged  years.  It  may  have 
been  her  new  independence  and  resourcefulness  that 
caused  this,  for  now  she  found  herself  relying  nearly 
entirely  upon  her  own  convictions,  and  did  without  any 
self-questioning  whatever  seemed  in  her  own  eyes  to  be 
right. 

Her  greatest  diversion  was  found  about  the  opera  house. 
Sometimes,  in  the  late  afternoon,  when  her  work  was 
finished,  she  would  wander  out  into  the  auditorium  anH 
from  some  seat  in  the  balconies,  would  look  upon  the 
heavy  steel  curtain  that  separated  her  from  the  mystic 
world  that  lay  behind.  And  then  her  mind  would  dwell 
upon  the  lives  of  the  people  who  nightly  sang  and  lost 
themselves  in  the  glory  of  their  art.  She  would  compare 
their  existence  to  her  own.  "  How  wonderful  it  must 
be,"  she  would  often  say  to  herself. 

She  would  think  of  how  these  people  must  feel  with 


116  Ha  gar  Revelly 

their  names  leading  the  columns  of  the  newspapers.  She 
said  as  much,  one  matinee  day,  when  she  was  talking  with 
a  leading  singer. 

"  Oh,  you  don't  know,"  the  woman  answered ;  "  you 
don't  think  of  the  hard  work,  the  years  over  in  Europe, 
and  the  struggles." 

"  But  a"U  that  is  paid  for  by  your  success,"  Thatah 
argued. 

"  Well,"  said  the  singer,  "  I  am  thirty-eight  now,  and 
all  I  have  to  show  for  it  is  lonesomeness  in  my  room  at 
the  hotel.  The  only  thing  to  do  is  to  marry  when  you 
are  young  —  and  watch  the  others  be  ambitious.  Oh, 
one  can't  do  both." 

Thatah  felt  she  was  sincere.  "  Surely  you  couldn't  be 
happy,  and  talk  like  that,"  she  thought  to  herself.  Yet, 
somehow,  the  fascination  of  what  lay  back  of  that  steel 
curtain  never  left  her. 

Spring  came,  and  Thatah  found  that  eight  months 
had  passed  since  the  first  day  she  started  in  the  small  back 
office  of  the  opera.  She  looked  at  herself  one  evening 
in  the  mirror  of  a  weighing  machine  at  the  Grand  Central 
Station,  wondering  if  she  had  changed.  And  it  was  with 
a  prideful  chuckle  that  she  admitted  herself  even  more  at- 
tractive. 

She  had  learned  to  wear  a  low-necked  shirt-waist,  and 
over  it  a  little  piece  of  point  lace  that  Mile.  Frenaud,  a 
singer,  had  given  her,  and  as  she  was  viewing  herself  in 
the  narrow  chewing-gum  mirror,  her  neck  looked  rather 
soft  and  well  molded.  It  pleased  her  so  much  that 
when  she  got  into  the  subway  train,  she  walked  more 
gaily  down  the  aisle.  "  As  nice  as  Hagar's,"  she  re- 
flected. 

Though  the  days  brought  her  some  satisfaction,  the 
nights  at  home  were  always  the  same;  always  the  usual 
dreary,  deadening  conversation  in  the  front  parlor,  or 


Ha  gar  Revelly  117 

else  a  mood  of  her  father  which  made  her  morbid  and  rest- 
less. 

The  monotony  and  mediocrity  of  the  cheap  boarding 
place  was  galling  to  her  after  a  day  spent  amongst  her 
congenial  surroundings  at  the  opera.  And  each  day 
found  her  resistance  growing  less  and  less. 

Once  she  wondered  if  they  could  not  get  out  of  their 
rut  by  going  to  some  other  better  place.  But  when  she 
mentioned  this  to  her  father,  there  was  a  scene,  and  he 
told  her  that  he  was  not  yet  out  of  debt  from  the  past 
winter,  and  that  they  must  guard  against  the  dulness  of 
the  four  summer  months,  when  the  orchestra  was  paid  no 
salary,  and  when  he  might  not  be  able  to  procure  a  sum- 
mer position. 

"  We  must  be  glad  we  are  alive,  my  child,"  he  said  in 
the  end. 

Those  words  grew  in  their  proportions  for  Thatah. 
Exactly  why  should  she  be  glad  she  was  alive,  if  her  life 
held  no  change  in  it?  And  a  few  days  later,  when  both 
were  given  positions  for  the  coming  summer,  she  as  a  com- 
panion in  a  home  in  the  White  Mountains,  and  Revelly 
with  an  orchestra  in  Milwaukee,  she  was  even  more  un- 
happy. The  sick  woman  with  whom  the  position  had 
been  obtained,  offered  very  little  in  the  way  of  pleas- 
ant diversion. 

One  evening  after  the  matinee  she  walked  all  the  way 
to  One  Hundred  and  Forty-third  Street,  and  all  she  did 
was  to  ask  herself  the  question :  "  Why  should  I  be 
glad?  "  She  asked  it  again  and  again,  almost  fiercely. 

However,  through  Graveur's  kindness  she  obtained 
many  diversions,  which  helped  greatly  to  keep  her  from 
being  too  miserable. 

Noticing  that  it  pleased  her  to  wander  about  in  the 
atmosphere  of  celebrities,  he  called  her  into  the  inner 
office  one  day.  She  was  aware  of  his  intentions  as  soon 


118  Hagar  Revelly 

as  she  entered  the  room,  for  only  a  few  minutes  before 
she  had  admitted  in  to  Mr.  Graveur's  presence  one  of  the 
greatest  pianists  in  the  world. 

"  Miss  Revelly,  Herr  Voitner  has  expressed  a  desire  to 
meet  you.  I  have  explained  to  him  how  fond  you  are  of 
music." 

The  big  man  arose  at  Graveur's  words  and  held  out 
his  hand  to  Thatah.  "  You  must  come  to  my  concert 
to-night  in  Carnegie  Hall,  Miss  Revelly,"  he  said,  in 
fairly  good  English. 

And  that  night  she  enjoyed  her  first  piano  recital 
by  a  great  artist.  Her  understanding  of  music  and 
of  the  performer  seemed  to  grow  with  each  note.  He 
had  such  a  concise,  well  defined  manner  at  the  piano. 
His  attitude  from  the  very  first  moment  spoke  of  mastery, 
and  when  later  in  the  evening,  he  played  through  the 
intricate  unkind  movements  of  a  Beethoven  sonata,  he 
seemed  to  have  risen  above  all  technical  obstacles.  Like 
a  giant  woodman  abroad  in  some  gnarled  forest  of 
massive  oaks,  he  attacked  the  unresponsive  passages,  as- 
sailing with  vigor  their  apparent  resistance,  throwing 
himself  upon  his  work  with  an  intensity  that  brought  out 
the  individual  proportions  of  every  measure. 

It  was  a  wonderful  interpretation  of  the  masterpiece, 
and  Thatah  sat  enwrapped  in  a  trance-like  appreciation. 

With  nobility  and  exaltation  he  played  the  grandiose 
opening  bars,  and  yet  when  the  andante  movement  arrived, 
there  was  a  subtle  ecstasy,  a  lambent  coloring  and  expres- 
siveness about  his  tones  that  took  away  all  his  apparent 
strength  and  made  of  him  a  gentle  shepherd,  aloof  in 
the  field  with  his  flocks,  or  a  young  girl  wandering 
through  the  shady  lanes,  gently  chirping  back  the  spring 
melodies  that  came  to  her  ears. 

Thatah  never  realized  until  now  what  a  manly  art  was 
this,  where  for  perfection,  there  must  at  once  be  combined 


Hagar  Revelly  119 

the  virility  of  intelligent  manhood  with  the  teniderness 
and  charm  of  the  complete  woman. 

It  also  pleased  her  immeasurably  to  watch  the  re- 
hearsals. The  soldiers  marching  to  mock  battle,  the 
turmoil  of  shifting  scenes,  the  pleading  cries  of  the 
different  orchestra  leaders  —  all  this  interested  her 
greatly. 

One  day  Mr.  Graveur  joined  her  while  she  was  sitting 
in  the  front  row  of  the  upper  balcony.  A  long  streaking 
light  from  one  of  the  side  windows  pointed  out  to  him,  her 
shadowy  form,  as  he  came  along  in  the  darkness  of  the 
auditorium. 

"  How  are  they  doing?  "  he  asked,  as  he  came  up. 

"  Hush !     It's  beautiful,"  she  whispered. 

It  was  the  second  act  of  "  Butterfly "  and  their  last 
rehearsal.  Everything  was  in  its  place,  the  little  cherry^ 
blossom  scenery,  the  artificial  atmosphere  shimmering 
in  its  golden  haze. 

The  delicate  glory  of  it  affected  Thatah,  and  she  sat 
motionless,  and  entranced,  her  hands  clasped  about  her 
knees. 

"  Hedwig  is  in  wonderful  voice,  again,  isn't  he? " 
Graveur  remarked,  after  a  time. 

"  Wonderful,"  she  murmured. 

Suzuki  and  Cho-Cho-San  were  behind  the  holes  in  the 
rice-paper  Shosi.  The  cannon  had  long  ago  told  of  the 
warship's  arrival,  and  the  charming  music,  so  crooning, 
so  well  shaded,  with  its  wan,  subtle  nuance,  came  up  from 
the  orchestra  and  enveloped  them. 

Then  Graveur  suddenly  exclaimed  ''"•  Thatah,  I 
wonder  if  you  ever  think  what  all  of  this  means?  " 

She  turned  around,  her  glance  full  of  surprise.  En- 
wrapped in  the  picture  on  the  stage,  she  had  become 
unaware  of  his  presence. 

Without  a  word  she  looked  back  to  the  stage,  while  he 


120  Hagar  Revelly 

went  on,  speaking  slowly  and  softly.  His  dark  eyes  were 
shaded  by  his  hands,  and  as  he  talked  he  looked  down  onto 
the  stage  rather  than  at  her.  He  seemed  to  realize 
Thatah's  thoughts  were  full  of  the  impression  wrought  by 
the  music. 

"  I  mean  that  this  sort  of  thing  gives  me  something  to 
think  about.  The  music,  the  tragedy  of  Cho-Cho-San  — 
all  of  it,  so  human,  so  frail,  so  inevitable.  Do  you  ever 
stop  and  think  of  the  lives  of  these  people  on  the  stage?  " 

"  I  think  often,"  she  answered  in  a  whisper. 

"  But  most  people  never  look  back  of  it,  or  at  the  end 
of  it;  on  one  side  the  yearning,  embittering  fight  when 
they  are  young  —  on  the  other,  the  end,  where  the  voice 
fails,  and  they  get  too  old  to  convince  their  audiences. 

"  No,  I  think  people  go  to  the  opera  like  passengers 
ride  on  a  train,  never  thinking  what  is  back  of  the  singing 
any  more  than  the  passenger  considers  the  engineer  or 
fireman. 

"  But  they've  got  to  go  on  just  the  same,  child,"  he 
added,  returning  to  his  original  idea.  "  Why,  sometimes, 
you  can't  imagine  how  affected  I  become  by  all  this 
glamour.  I  come  out  here  and  hear  some  one  in  the  gallery 
cry  his  '  Bravo  ' —  or  listen  to  the  enthusiastic  applause 
in  the  boxes  —  and  I  feel  that  it  is  too  unhappy  a  subject 
to  even  think  about.  It's  because  I  know  what  it  all  leads 
to.  Unless  they  are  at  the  top,  and  we  heed  them,  even 
after  their  voices  have  failed,  half  of  these  people 
now  singing  for  us  find  their  places  soon  taken  by 
some  younger,  fresher  voice.  Then  where  do  they  go? 
They  begin  pleading  with  the  management,  the  direct- 
ors —  and  if  they  haven't  protected  themselves  in  a  finan- 
cial way,  they  find  it  is  all  past  with  them.  And  they  may 
have  sacrificed  everything  else  in  life  for  their  ambition." 

"  Age  is  a  rotten  thing,  isn't  it?  "  said  Thatah,  as  she 
looked  up.  "  But  I  believe  you  are  a  little  blue  to-day." 


Hagar  Revelly  121 

He  smiled  faintly.  "  No,  I  am  really  not,  child.  Just 
reminiscent,  and  thinking  about  myself." 

"  You  should  be  strong,  though,  and  not  talk  so," 
Thatah  said,  her  big  eyes  filled  with  an  expression  of 
pity. 

"  One  cannot  help  thinking  sometimes." 

"About  what?  " 

"  Oh,  age  — " 

"  Which  is  very  bad  for  one,  dear  man  —  yet  age  could 
be  beautiful,"  she  added  as  an  afterthought,  "  if  it 
brought  much  to  us." 

"  Most  often  we  only  become  older.  That  is  about  all 
there  is  to  it."  He  arose  from  his  seat.  "  This  is  one 
of  my  bad  days,  I  guess,"  he  said,  ready  to  make  his  way 
off  in  the  darkness. 

Down  on  the  stage,  the  voices  were  blending  for  the 
finale.  Butterfly  had  pierced  herself  with  her  father's 
inscription-covered  sword;  the  orchestra's  wailing  lamen- 
tation was  crowning  the  pathetic  story.  Soon  the  cur- 
tain descended. 

"  I'll  go  with  you,"  said  Thatah. 

When  they  reached  the  office  she  said  directly :  "  Why 
are  you  so  strange?  You  confide  in  me  and  let  me  know 
all  your  weaknesses."  She  gave  an  odd  little  toss  of  her 
head,  and  even  gently  touched  his  arm,  "  And  you  are  so 
important  and  dignified  with  everyone  else.  Why  are  you 
this  way  with  me  ?  " 

Graveur  took  her  hand  and  held  it  tightly  between  his 
own.  "  Because  I  like  you,  Thatah.  It  is  only  not  quite 
right,  because  you  are  not  fond  of  me.  But  an  old  man 
like  me  shouldn't  ask  that,  I  suppose." 

"  I  am  very  fond  of  you,  Mr.  Graveur." 

"  Not  fond  enough  — " 

Thatah  suddenly  became  rather  serious.  "  I  wish  you 
wouldn't  say  such  things,"  she  said.  "  You  make  it  so 


Hagar  Revelly 

hard  for  me.  I  am  fond  of  you.  But  I  am  too  insignif- 
icant in  the  make-up  of  things  to  deserve  your  caring  for 
me.  And  then  I  am  so  selfish,  so  terribly  selfish,  and  that 
is  the  trouble.  I  want  something  —  that  I  can't  describe. 
It  is  something  greater,  something  more  powerful  than 
what  I  feel  with  you."  She  turned  away  from  him  and 
her  voice  became  more  wistful.  "  Yes,  that's  what  worries 
me  —  worries  me  all  the  time.  You  are  so  kind,  so 
gracious,  but  I  don't  feel  for  you  what  I  want  to  feel. 
That's  it.  And  I  couldn't  make  myself  try,  because  then 
I  would  be  lying  to  both  of  us.  Oh,  you  do  understand, 
don't  you?  " 

He  smiled  a  little  gravely  as  he  listened  to  her  words. 

"  You're  queer,  so  queer,  little  Thatah." 

*'  I  know  it,;  she  replied  directly.  "  Yet  I'm  willing  to 
keep  on  going  through  so  many  miserable  things,  just  for 
the  end."  For  an  instant  she  seemed  intensely  interested, 
then  said  decisively: 

"  I'll  tell  you  why  it  is.  It's  because  there  doesn't  seem 
anything  else  worth  living  for  but  just  that  thing,  what- 
ever it  is,  that  it  is  worth  while  having  at  the  end." 

"  Ah,  you  are  wrong,  Thatah.  You  will  learn  differ- 
ently some  day.  You  are  young  now  and  you  dare  any- 
thing. But  you  will  find  that  this  love  thing  that  every- 
one talks  so  much  about,  is  only  a  phantom,  a  grotesque, 
turgid  fancy,  that  fools  every  one  at  least  once  and  then 
makes  them  bitter  for  life.  I  believe  there  is  only  one 
kind  of  relationship.  It  is  where  there  is  regard  in  the 
place  of  yearning,  sacrifice  in  the  place  of  craving. 

"  I  mean  friendship,"  he  emphasized.  "  It's  friend- 
ship that  is  the  biggest  thing  in  life.  Why  it  is  much 
more  difficult  than  love.  And  it  is  greater  too,  because 
in  friendship  you  give  instead  of  get.  And  it  is  more 
wonderful  than  love,  because  it  is  more  fragile.  Love  you 
can  pull  asunder,  slap  it  and  tear  it  to  pieces  and  yet  feel 


that  you  have  it  still  with  you.  But  I'll  tell  you  the 
truth.  You  think  you  have  it  because  in  reality  you 
never  have  it;  it  is  like  other  intangible,  mystical  things 
—  like  anything  which  is  a  product  of  the  imagination. 

"  But  friendship  is  so  different.  It  is  a  thing  that  you 
can  even  see,  feel  —  because  it  is  built  on  real  material, 
because  you  have  created  it.  It  is  glorious  because  it  is 
something  that  gives  constant  pleasure,  because  it  is  so 
sure  and  quieting,  and  never  a  bit  crazy  like  this  thing 
they  call  love." 

While  Thatah  was  held  fascinated  by  his  odd,  wonder- 
ful manner  of  talking  he  told  her  of  a  case  in  the  opera, 
where  a  leading  soprano  had  met  a  man  in  Paris,  and 
after  a  few  days,  had  married  him. 

"  The  man  loved  life  for  what  he  took  out  of  it,"  con- 
tinued Graveur,  "  and  when  he  met  this  woman,  he  pictured 
in  her,  a  gifted,  beautiful  companion  for  his  restaurant 
and  boulevard  day.  And  she  pictured  him  as  a  loving 
companion  who  would  comfort  her  and  lift  her  out  of  her 
lonesomeness.  They  married  —  deeply  in  love,  and  I 
remember,  were  very  hysterical  about  it. 

"  And  now,  after  only  three  months,  these  people  are 
living  their  lonely  lives  again,  separated  from  each  other, 
and  she  is  getting  a  divorce  with  his  consent.  Why  ?  Well, 
because  they  married  for  love,  selfishness.  She  wanted 
him  to  be  her  companion  and  get  out  of  him  what  she  had 
pictured,  and  he  wanted  to  get  out  of  her  what  he  had 
pictured.  They  wanted  different  things,  but  they  wanted 
to  get  those  things  out  of  the  other.  She  was  domestic 
and  retiring  while  he  was  gay.  But  they  were  both 
selfish,  they  wanted  to  get  instead  of  give  to  each  other. 
Now,  just  because  they  can't  get  out  of  each  other  exactly 
what  they  had  planned,  they  are  separated.  Yet  they 
called  it  love." 

The  talk  that  afternoon  aroused  Thatah  more  than  any 


Hagar  Revelly 

other  conversation  they  had  ever  had  together.  He  had 
so  unfolded  himself  and  had  made  himself  so  sincere  and 
kindly  that  she  was  more  affected  by  him  than  ever  before. 

That  night  she  sat  in  her  little  room,  thinking,  recapit- 
ulating. A  dozen  times  she  nearly  decided  that  it  would 
be  wonderful  to  live  with  this  quiet,  passive  man. 

She  wondered  why  it  was  she  couldn't  feel  in  the  right 
way  for  him.  It  was  so  nice  to  talk  to  him,  to  hear  his 
soft  words.  Yet  the  moment  he  touched  her,  something 
in  her  being  seemed  to  demand  release.  It  was  strange, 
inexplicable. 

"  Oh,  if  I  only  knew  what  it  was  I  really  wanted,"  she 
begged  of  herself. 

From  that  time  she  began  to  study  her  own  desires 
more. 

Often  she  looked  through  the  little  grated  window  of 
the  ticket  office  onto  the  crowd  of  gaily  laughing  girls, 
quite  her  age,  who  came  through  the  lobby  decked  in  their 
magnificent  gowns.  It  would  end  in  her  being  over- 
whelmed by  her  own  realizations.  She  would  say  to  her- 
self :  "  They  don't  understand,  they  don't  know.  But 
look  how  happy  they  are." 

Once  her  little  rebellion  ended  by  her  going  back  into 
the  cloak  room  and  in  purposeless  fashion  fiercely  scrub- 
bing her  hands.  She  didn't  know  why  she  should  scrub 
her  hands  at  that  moment,  other  than  that  she  must  do 
something  to  distract  her  attention.  And  she  murmured 
a  half  dozen  times  to  the  bare  walls,  "  They  don't  under- 
stand, they  don't  understand." 

Thatah  was  no  longer  tranquil  and  resigned  these  days. 
Like  the  hunter  in  the  forest  who  watches  the  horizon  for 
the  rising  sun  to  guide  him,  she  kept  seeking  in  the 
distance  for  understanding  and  the  fulfilment  of  her 
ambition. 

At  times  she  believed  that  it  would  never  be  different 


Hagar  Revelly  125 

for  her,  and  once,  when  she  was  very  tired,  she  was  on  the 
point  of  deciding  that  she  must  estrange  all  of  her  yearn- 
ings and  beliefs.  However,  at  the  end,  she  stayed  close 
to  her  resolutions,  and  her  belief  that  the  ideal  realization 
was  something  that  came  through  the  emotions,  real  and 
unconfmed,  never  forsook  her.  She  forgot  all  other  argu- 
ments, forgot  the  chance  of  years  slipping  by,  or  the 
futility  of  her  quest.  She  was  only  sure  that  she  could 
never  give  up  to  circumstances.  There  were  days  when 
she  was  aware  that  the  future  might  bring  anguish,  disap- 
pointment, sorrow.  But  if  she  tried  to  be  more  normal, 
and  went  out  with  people,  and  listened  to  their  inane  con- 
versation, and  observed  their  petty  demands  of  life,  she 
came  home  always  terribly  bored,  and  feeling  that  she  was 
surely  right  in  wanting  something  more  of  life.  * 

One  evening,  in  early  December,  everything  was  so 
monotonous  she  finally  gave  in  to  young  Mr.  Samuel's 
wish  that  she  accompany  him  to  a  theatre. 

That  night,  however,  just  as  they  were  leaving,  her 
father  had  a  sinking  spell  and  they  all  stood  around  the 
bed  until  two  o'clock  in  the  morning. 

After  that  Thatah  never  left  him  in  the  evening. 


CHAPTER  XII 

HAGAR  continued  along  the  path  of  her  new  life  with  an 
ever-increasing  interest. 

There  was  much  to  occupy  her  mind. 

Little  by  little,  Greenfield  made  her  understand  that  he 
was  deeply  interested  in  her,  in  one  way  or  another  exert- 
ing himself  to  please  her. 

When  the  cold,  sadder  days  in  November  came  on,  he 
arranged  for  her  purchase  of  a  little  fur  collarette  on  an 
instalment  basis  and  one  day,  when  a  sudden  sleet  storm 
had  come  on,  he  sent  down  to  her  an  umbrella. 

In  response  to  a  message  from  him  one  evening,  Hagar 
went  up  to  his  office  after  the  store  was  closed.  It  was 
well  past  six,  and  two  others  ahead  of  her  made  it  nearly 
seven  before  she  was  able  to  see  him. 

But  she  waited  patiently  and  when  he  shook  hands  with 
her  and  asked  her  to  sit  down  for  a  moment,  while  he 
straightened  out  an  affair  that  was  worrying  him,  she  was 
inwardly  pleased,  and  rather  happy  at  the  thought  that 
he  should  want  to  get  everything  finished  before  he  dealt 
with  her.  She  sat  quietly  at  the  side  of  his  desk,  noticing 
his  pink,  well-groomed  nails,  the  careful  appearance  of  his 
shoes  and  their  up-to-date  shape,  his  well-creased  grey 
trousers.  Sitting  there,  she  recollected  how  different 
Herrick's  hand-clasp  was  from  this  man's.  When  Mr. 
Greenfield  took  her  hand,  he  was  not  rough,  but  gentle, 
and  did  not  squeeze  her  hand  till  it  hurt.  Mr.  Greenfield 
gave  only  the  faintest  pressure. 

"  I  wanted  you  to  stop  in,  Miss  Revelly,"  the  manager 

began,  "  as  I  have  some  really  good  news  for  you.     We 

126 


Hagar  Revelly  127 

have  decided  to  create  the  position  of  guide  in  this  store. 
By  this  we  mean  some  person,  some  young  lady,  who  will  be 
well  dressed  and  who  will  show  our  country  trade,  all  the 
different  departments.  It  will  be  up  to  you  —  yes,  I  have 
selected  you  —  to  gain  a  knowledge  of  all  the  different 
features,  like  the  babies'  checking  room  on  the  third  floor, 
or  the  lounging  room  for  people  who  are  tired  or  ill  and 
want  to  recline." 

He  went  on  in  a  measured  voice :  "  This  position  has 
been  given  to  you,  of  course  through  my  direction,  and  I 
am  awfully  glad  to  see  you  have  it." 

A  kindly  smile  lined  his  face  as  he  looked  up.  "  I 
suppose  you  have  no  objections?  " 

"  Why,  I  —  I  am  so  pleased,  Mr.  Greenfield,  I  hardly 
know  what  to  say,"  she  faltered. 

He  noticed  how  bewildered  she  had  become.  An  ex- 
pression —  half  shrewd,  half  pitying,  stole  across  his 
face.  Then  he  resumed  his  former,  businesslike  tone. 

"  The  salary  is  twelve  dollars  a  week,  Miss  Revelly, 
and  will  start  on  the  coming  Monday.  You  will  be 
ready  ?  " 

"  Oh,  of  course,"  she  replied,  eagerly. 

He  went  on  to  tell  her  a  few  more  things  about  the 
position.  "  You'll  have  to  wear  a  black  silk  dress  of  good 
quality,  like  the  models  in  the  cloak  department.  Only  be 
sure  to  put  in  some  small  piece  of  white  lace  about  the 
collar  and  cuffs." 

Hagar's  face  changed  expression  at  this  remark,  and 
divining  her  thoughts,  he  told  her  that  if  she  hadn't  the 
money  to  get  this  dress  at  present,  she  should  go  into  the 
dressmaking  department  and  order  it,  and  have  Mrs. 
Wheeler,  the  head-lady,  call  him  up  over  the  telephone. 

Hagar  volunteered  the  suggestion  that  she  pay  a  few 
idollars  down  each  week,  but  he  laughed  very  cordially  and 
said:  "  I'll  fix  that  end  of  it  all  right." 


128  Hagar  Revelly 

"  But  I  don't  think  it's  right,"  she  insisted. 

He  gently  patted  her  hands.  "  You  mustn't  worry 
about  that." 

Taking  up  her  little  black  leather  purse  she  arose  just 
as  he  was  looking  at  his  watch.  It  had  become  quite  dark 
by  this  time  and  the  distant  tramping  of  the  janitor  as 
he  shut  the  heavy  fireproof  doors  between  each  section  of 
the  store,  resounded  throughout  the  building. 

"  Pshaw,"  he  exclaimed,  "  I  didn't  know  I  was  keeping 
you  so  late,  Miss  Revelly.  I'm  sorry.  Where  do  you 
live?" 

His  manner  was  sincere  and  she  told  him  without  a 
thought. 

Then  he  looked  at  his  watch  again,  and  seemed  to  be 
undecided,  starting  to  propose  something,  then  hesitating, 
and  at  last,  as  if  arguing  with  himself,  saying:  "Well, 
it  doesn't  make  any  difference  with  me  as  I  eat  down  town 
anyway,  but  I  hate  to  think  about  you  going  home  alone, 
Miss  Revelly.  I'll  tell  you  what  " —  the  idea  appeared 
to  please  him  immensely  —  "  we'll  just  drop  in  some  place 
and  get  a  bite  and  I'll  put  you  in  a  taxi.  It's  all  my 
fault." 

To  Hagar  this  seemed  the  greatest  goodness.  That 
this  important  man  should  inconvenience  himself  for  her, 
seemed  too  much  to  accept  without  some  protestation. 

She  exclaimed :  "  Oh,  no,  Mr.  Greenfield,  I  couldn't 
think  of  it.  You've  been  so  good  already  and  really,  I 
don't  mind  going  home  alone.  I  only  live  two  blocks  from 
the  subway." 

But  Greenfield  had  on  his  hat  and  coat.  "  I  couldn't 
allow  you  to  go  alone,"  he  said  authoritatively ;  "  it  is  a 
good  thing  I  thought  of  it." 

His  words  were  so  firmly  and  decisively  spoken  Hagar 
offered  no  more  resistance,  but  fell  in  quietly  with  his 
plans. 


Hagar  Revelly  129 

Going  down  the  elevator  with  him,  she  was  conscious  of 
a  certain  pride  and  as  she  passed  the  counter  where  she 
had  worked  all  afternoon  she  had  a  queer  little  feeling  of 
exultation.  She  was  no  longer  a  saleslady. 

In  the  street,  they  could  not  decide  where  to  dine  and  at 
last,  after  perceiving  that  Hagar  knew  nothing  at  all 
about  the  restaurant  life  in  New  York,  Greenfield  men- 
tioned the  name  of  an  Italian  restaurant  on  Twenty-fifth 
Street. 

"  It's  a  quiet  place  and  you'll  like  it,"  he  told  her  with 
enthusiasm.  "  They  have  great  music  there,  too.  Do 
you  care  for  music  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  like  it  some,  but  I  get  tired  of  hearing  too  much 
of  it.  My  father,"  she  faltered  somewhat,  "  was  a 
musician." 

"  It's  funny  you  didn't  take  it  up  then,"  he  suggested. 

"  Oh,  we  got  so  tired  hearing  it.  We  had  too  much  of 
it,  I  guess." 

As  they  walked  along  it  seemed  to  Hagar  that  his  at- 
tention was  not  at  all  upon  their  little  jaunt,  for  he  walked 
along  silently,  and  every  few  steps  turned  around  to  look 
up  the  street. 

"  It's  pretty  rough  over  here  on  Sixth  Avenue,  about 
this  time  of  night,"  he  said,  becoming  aware  that  she  was 
observing  him.  "  So  if  you  see  anything  that  isn't  just 
right,  shut  your  eyes." 

A  little  further  on  they  turned  into  a  side  street  and 
then  went  up  the  steps  of  an  old  brick  building  where  the 
sign  —  J.  GALOZZO  —  swung  out  alluringly  over  their 
heads. 

"  You'll  like  it  here  a  lot,"  he  said.  "  There  seems  to 
be  a  lot  more  people  here  than  usual,  but  I  guess  you  don't 
mind  it's  being  noisy,  do  you?  " 

"  Oh,  no,"  she  answered. 

Her  eyes  swept  past  the  rows  of  white  tables  onto  the 


130  Hagar  Revelly 

blue-coated  musicians  who  were  playing  on  a  raised  plat- 
form in  the  middle  of  the  room.  And  when  he  stood  off 
to  arrange  for  a  table,  she  thought  how  solicitous  and  pro- 
tecting he  was,  and  how  sadly  Mr.  Herrick,  who  was 
always  thirsting  for  adventure,  fell  away  by  comparison. 
She  remembered  how  the  boy  had  wanted  her  to  go 
"  slumming "  the  very  first  night  they  were  together. 
"  I'll  show  you  all  kinds  of  things  you  never  saw  or  heard 
of  before,"  he  had  pleaded,  and  was  angry  with  her  when 
she  hesitated.  This  man  was  so  good,  so  fatherly, 
so  gentle  with  her. 

They  had  a  very  nice  dinner,  with  a  great  many 
courses,  and  out  of  a  long  bottle  Greenfield  poured  a  thin, 
red  wine.  He  asked  Hagar  if  she  would  have  some  on  a 
lump  of  sugar. 

"  I  never  drink  anything,"  she  asserted. 

"  Fm  glad  to  hear  that,"  said  he  instantly.  "  I  don't 
think  girls  your  age  ought  to  even  think  of  it,  though 
many  of  them  do.  At  least,  they  shouldn't  drink  in  these 
public  places." 

However,  he  drank  part  of  his  glass  of  wine,  and  ap- 
peared to  like  it.  When  the  dinner  was  over,  he  ordered 
an  amber  colored  liquor,  which  he  said  was  Benedictine. 
"  It  isn't  intoxicating  at  all,"  he  told  her.  "  You  can 
drink  that  all  right." 

Hagar  liked  the  place  and  its  joviality  immensely. 
Their  table  was  in  a  sort  of  trellised  alcove,  and  was  away 
from  the  crowd.  The  gauzy  red  shades  over  the  table 
lights  threw  a  soft,  warm  glow  on  their  faces,  and  matched 
up  with  the  sentimental,  languorous  music  of  the  orches- 
tra, while  the  liquor  made  her  feel  warm  and  restful.  As 
she  looked  across  the  table  to  Greenfield,  she  showed  that 
she  was  happy  and  pleased. 

Greenfield  was  playing  with  two  lumps  of  sugar,  which 
he  had  marked  with  black  dots. 


Hagar  Revelly  131 

"  I'll  match  you,"  he  said,  "  to  see  whether  you  go  right 
home  or  stay  and  listen  to  the  music  for  another  half 
hour." 

"  Why,  I'll  be  glad  to  stay,"  she  protested. 

Since  she  felt  that  way,  it  seemed  to  her  useless  to  put 
the  question  to  chance,  but  he  insisted  and  she  took  the 
little  cakes  of  sugar  and  shook  them  in  her  hand  in  the 
manner  he  showed  her. 

She  threw  ten,  and  he  told  her  she'd  won,  adding: 
"  It's  no  use  for  me  to  throw.  I  never  could  beat  that. 
I  guess  we'll  have  to  stay." 

Hagar  shook  the  little  dice  again.  "  Isn't  that  great 
fun ! "  she  cried,  as  they  rolled  between  the  plates  on  the 
table. 

"  That's  what  they  call  dice  —  it's  a  gambling  game, 
if  you  play  it  right." 

"With  lumps  of  sugar  like  that?"  She  was  much 
interested.  "  Oh,  show  me,"  she  begged. 

Greenfield  explained  to  her  the  rules  of  the  game  and 
the  material  out  of  which  dice  were  made.  "  But,  it's  a 
man's  game  and  little  girls  must  not  know  about  it,"  he 
went  on.  As  he  spoke,  he  dropped  the  little  cakes  into  his 
wine  glass.  "  Some  people's  money  melts  away  just  like 
that  when  they  play,"  he  added. 

At  that  moment,  a  stout  Italian  lady,  in  a  fine,  full- 
bodied  Broadway  accent,  began  singing  a  popular  melody. 
When  she  reached  the  chorus,  everyone  joined  in,  whistling 
or  singing. 

"  They  have  a  pretty  good  time  here,  don't  they  ?  " 
Greenfield  asked. 

"  I  should  say,"  she  answered,  with  her  eyes  beam- 
ing. 

Presently  Hagar  observed  a  couple  across  the  room. 
The  man  looked  to  be  older  than  Mr.  Greenfield,  about 
forty-rive,  she  thought,  and  wore  a  red  tie  with  a  big, 


132  Hagar  Revelly 

sparkling  pin  in  it.  The  girl  with  him  was  about  her  own 
age. 

For  a  long  time  Hagar  sat  silently  observing  them, 
then  her  interest  became  more  aroused  when  she  saw  the 
girl  search  for  her  handkerchief,  and  lift  it  to  her  eyes. 

"  I  wonder  what  is  the  matter  with  them,"  Hagar  ex- 
claimed, pointing  out  the  pair  to  Greenfield. 

"  Oh,  I  guess  they're  lovers."  Greenfield  gave  a  sly 
wink  to  the  waiter,  who  at  that  moment  was  presenting 
the  bill. 

"  I'll  bet  something  has  happened  at  home,  and 
that  they  are  just  coming  here  to  try  and  drown  their 
sorrow." 

The  waiter  brought  back  the  change,  and  she  saw 
Greenfield  slip  a  half  dollar  piece  to  him.  Apparently  he 
tried  to  do  it  so  that  she  could  not  see  the  money,  but 
the  coin  slipped  from  his  hand  just  as  he  was  pushing  it 
under  a  plate. 

They  were  seated  in  the  taxi,  when  she  said  rather 
sadly :  "  You  spend  a  lot  of  money  on  me,  Mr.  Green- 
field. I  don't  quite  know  how  to  thank  you." 

"  Oh,  that's  nothing." 

There  was  a  smile  on  Greenfield's  face  and  an  expression 
in  his  voice  that  said  he  would  like  to  spend  a  great  deal 
more. 

"  Some  day  we  will  go  to  a  really  decent  place  and  get 
a  square  meal,"  he  told  her. 

They  were  at  her  front  door  in  what  seemed  to  Hagar 
a  surprisingly  short  time.  Greenfield  took  the  key  from 
her  and  turned  the  lock,  but  he  skipped  back  into  the  cab 
before  she  had  a  chance  to  say  a  word  of  the  little  speech 
composed  to  thank  him. 

All  he  said  was,  as  he  rushed  down  the  steps :  "  Take 
care  of  yourself,  little  girl." 

Until  the  flickering  lamp  at  the  back  of  the  automobile 


Hagar  Revelly  133 

(disappeared  into  the  night,  she  stood  in  the  front  ves- 
tibule, thinking  what  a  nice  man  he  was. 

Then  she  went  upstairs  to  her  room.  So  early  in  the 
evening  sleep  was  an  impossibility,  and  she  busied  herself 
with  putting  back  the  ribbons  into  some  newly  returned 
laundry  and  then  arranging  it  in  the  drawers  of  the 
dresser,  the  clean  linen  in  one  drawer  and  the  little  odd- 
ments, like  bits  of  lace,  a  pair  of  white  linen  cuffs,  and 
some  handkerchiefs,  in  another.  In  her  mind  buzzed  con- 
tinually the  fragments  of  the  Italian  lady's  ragtime  song, 
mingled  with  thoughts  of  Greenfield  and  his  kindness  to 
her. 

She  was  still  sitting  on  the  edge  of  the  bed,  thinking  in 
a  peaceful  kind  of  reverie,  when  she  heard  a  knock  on 
the  door.  It  came  so  suddenly,  she  was  a  good  deal 
frightened. 

"Who's  there?"  she  called. 

"  It's  me,  Queolla  LaMotte." 

It  was  the  chorus  lady  who  lived  in  the  big  front  room 
on  the  floor  above. 

"  Golly,  Miss  Revelly,"  she  exclaimed.  "  What  are  you 
doing  up  so  late?  It's  nearly  two  o'clock." 

"  Why,  I  didn't  know  it  was  so  late."  Hagar  pushed 
out  a  rocker  to  the  girl.  "  Oh,  won't  you  sit  down  ?  " 

"  Sure,  but  I'll  just  stay  a  minute.  I  saw  your  light 
burning  and  I  didn't  know  but  what  you  were  sick  or  some- 
thing. You're  always  in  bed,  or  rather  it's  always  dark 
in  here  when  I  come  home." 

She  placed  on  the  white  cover  a  great  bouquet  of  roses, 
saying :  "  I've  certainly  had  a  funny  time  to-night. 
Yes,  I've  had  a  funny  time." 

In  vivid  fashion  she  told  how  she  had  arranged  with  the 
chauffeur  of  the  taxi  that  he  should  give  her  a  free  ride 
some  night. 

*'  All  I  had  to  do  was  to  run  up  a  big  fare.     And  I 


134  Hagar  Revelly 

certainly  did.  I  kept  him  going  for  hours  after  we  left 
the  Lafayette.  It  cost  my  rich  friend  exactly  eleven 
dollars  and  seventy  cents.  I  saw  the  metre." 

Turning  to  her  purse  she  took  out  a  cigarette.  "  It's 
a  free  ride  next  Sunday,"  she  explained  between  puffs, 
"  or  I'll  know  why.  We  can  go  together  if  you  want 
to." 

For  a  time  the  girl  continued  smoking,  taking  deep 
inhalations  and  then  blowing  the  smoke  in  a  fine  stream 
across  the  yellow  flame  from  the  gas  jet. 

There  was  a  moment  of  meditation,  accompanied  by  a 
wrinkling  of  her  brows.  Then  she  began  again. 

"  Say,  Miss  Revelly,  I've  been  watching  you.  You're 
too  quiet  and  sort  of  sad.  What's  the  matter?  I  was 
going  to  ask  you  the  other  day,  then  I  told  myself  it  was 
none  of  my  business,  and  so  I  let  you  alone.  *  Don't  butt 
into  her  affairs,'  I  said  to  myself.  '  Supposing  she  has 
got  her  troubles.'  But  now  that  we're  together,  maybe 
you  can  tell  me?  " 

She  leaned  over,  saying  in  a  whisper,  "  I  believe  you're 
hanging  around  that  old  maid  Gillespie  too  much.  You 
leave  her  alone.  You  don't  know  her  the  way  I  do.  Why 
she  gets  on  the  worst  periodicals,  you  can't  imagine." 

"  Why,  I  don't  know  what  you  mean ! " 

"  I  mean  she  gets  drunk,  soused  —  about  every  three 
months.  She  drinks  like  a  fish.  They  last  for  two  or 
three  days  at  a  time,  too.  Oh,  we  all  know  about  it.  If 
you're  here  long  enough  you'll  see." 

In  Miss  Gillespie,  Hagar  had  found  her  only  real  woman 
friend.  Night  after  night  they  had  sat  together,  the 
older  woman  showing  her  how  to  mend  her  clothes,  darn 
her  stockings.  More  like  a  mother  had  been  this  good 
woman. 

Hagar  could  not  believe  the  girl's  rash  statement. 
But  she  controlled  herself.  She  had  learned  the  value  of 


Ha  gar  Revelly  135 

silence,  and  only  choked  the  words  that  came  into  her 
mouth. 

The  chorus  girl  went  on :  "  Yes,  you're  too  quiet. 
You  don't  go  out  enough.  Why,  you're  a  fool,  a  beauty 
like  you.  I  wish  I  had  your  looks."  The  pencilled  brows 
drew  together.  "  Yes,  I  could  do  a  lot,  with  a  face  like 
yours." 

Half  to  herself,  Miss  LaMotte  continued,  "  They're 
all  next  to  me.  I  haven't  got  the  innocent  stare,  you 
know." 

Hagar  moved  nervously  into  a  chair  near  the  window. 

Observing  Hagar's  restlessness,  the  chorus  girl  said: 
"  You  certainly  are  nervous,  aren't  you?  But  maybe  you 
want  me  to  go." 

"  Oh,  no,  please  go  on,"  Hagar  answered,  trying  to 
hide  her  weariness. 

"Well,  what  was  I  going  to  say?  Oh,  yes  —  "  Now 
came  a  rapid  fire  argument  against  being  good.  "  You're 
a  fool.  But  you'll  come  around.  I  was  that  way  before 
I  got  wise  —  used  to  buy  silk  stockings,  and  starve  on 
eighteen  per  week  —  before  I  got  on  to  the  ropes.  Yes, 
I  had  a  hard  time  of  it,  too."  There  was  a  sigh  of  rem- 
iniscence in  her  voice. 

"  Then  I  met  —  him ;  the  fellow  I'm  telling  you  about. 
And  I've  stuck  to  him  for  two  years  now."  She  yawned. 
"  But  I'm  getting  tired  of  him,  though  he  is  a  perfect 
cinch.  He's  in  the  brokerage  business,  afraid  he's  getting 
old  too  quick  —  wants  me  to  prove  it  to  him.  But  I  am 
getting  pretty  tired  of  my  job. 

"  Why,  he's  beginning  to  make  love,  real  love  to  me. 
Now  what  do  you  know  about  that,  after  two  years  ?  " 
She  made  a  gesture  of  disgust  by  drawing  up  her  lip  and 
nose.  "  He's  so  funny.  I  came  near  laughing  in  his  face 
to-night.  He  told  me  how  he'd  lost  his  wife  and  how  they 
never  had  any  children,  and  now  she  lives  in  his  memory. 


186  Hagar  Revelly 

Why  I  tell  you  he's  a  perfect  fool,  my  dear.  He  says 
that  he  has  discovered  all  of  a  sudden,  that  I  look  like  her. 
She  must  have  been  a  peach." 

"  I  should  think  that  would  please  you,"  Hagar  inter- 
rupted. 

"  Oh,  no,  I'm  all  past  that  stage.  I  get  so  tired  of  it. 
Sometimes,  you  wouldn't  believe  how  I  feel.  Why,  I'd 
give  anything  on  earth  to  know  I  was  going  to  have  a 
date  with  some  fellow  I  wanted  —  you  know  what  I 
mean  —  some  fellow  that  would  drive  me  crazy  nearly 
when  he'd  just  put  his  arms  around  me  and  kiss  me.  But 
I  guess  I've  got  to  keep  on  seeing  this  guy.  He's  got  the 
money." 

Noticing  the  passing  of  time,  the  girl  became  con- 
fidential, talking  in  nearly  a  whisper,  so  that  Miss  Gil- 
lespie  in  the  next  room,  would  not  hear.  And  Hagar 
listened.  The  words  came  to  her  like  some  distant,  far- 
away echo,  the  echo  to  her  own  troubled  thoughts. 

She  began  to  feel  that  something  buried  in  her  was 
taking  form.  At  the  store,  she  had  heard  the  girls  talk 
of  strange  subjects,  veiled  ami  clothed  by  mystery,  had 
seen  them  happy  and  sad  over  this  great  thing  that  seemed 
on  every  lip,  and  she  had  wondered  why  it  was  that  she 
could  not  learn  of  life  in  the  way  the  rest  learned. 

The  impenetrable  depths  of  understanding  deep  down 
in  her  were  beginning  to  take  on  life. 

Listening  to  the  frank  open  conversation,  with  her  eyes 
wide  open  and  her  lips  apart,  she  found  strange  thoughts 
being  worded,  new  impulses  becoming  impregnated  within 
her. 

Hagar's  first  question  of  Miss  LaMotte  came  strangely 
easy,  even  though  she  was  nervous  and  shaky.  "  Tell  me, 
Miss  LaMotte  do  you  —  do  you  live  —  with  this  man,  and 
does  he  give  you  things,  like  money  and  clothes?"  she 
asked. 


Hagar  Revelly  137 

The  girl  viewed  her  curiously,  murmuring,  "  Well,  I 
will  —  are  you  fooling?  Or  are  you  just  — " 

Hagar  went  over  to  her  and  put  her  hand  on  the  girl's 
arm.  "  I  just  want  to  know,  Miss  LaMotte,"  she  said, 
rather  frightened  at  the  look  that  had  come  into  the  girl's 
eyes.  "  Really,  I  don't  know  anything  about  those 
things." 

"You  don't  know?" 

"  No,  honestly  — " 

"  Well,  I  will  — " 

"  Please." 

The  other  soon  came  to  understand  Hagar's  utter 
innocence. 

"  I  wouldn't  have  believed  it,"  Queolla  said,  over  and 
over  again. 

Hagar  explained  further.  "  I'm  really  not  fooling. 
I  just  want  to  know.  Everybody  talks  about  it  so  much, 
all  the  girls  at  the  store  seem  to  think  of  nothing  else,  and 
I  just  have  to  listen  and  keep  my  mouth  shut  for  fear 
they'll  find  out  how  little  I  know.  Please  tell  me." 

Then,  the  girl  believed  her,  and  told  her  a  dozen  little 
episodes,  some  frankly  avowing  her  wrong,  others  more 
light  in  nature,  which  told  of  narrow  escapes  with  really 
common  men,  who  covered  up  their  meanness  by  good 
clothes.  She  told  one  story  of  a  deep  regret,  of  a  long 
continued  game  with  a  good  man  who  loved  her,  saying 
unconsciously,  "  I  made  my  mistake  then." 

They  talked  on,  Hagar  eager  and  frightened,  Queolla 
proud  and  happy  because  she  had  found  someone  who 
would  listen  and  yet  not  disbelieve  her. 

Before  she  left,  she  asked  Hagar  some  questions  in  turn. 

"  How  old  are  you,  dear?  " 

Hagar  answered  that  she  was  past  sixteen. 

The  girl  exclaimed:  "  And  you  don't  go  out,  just  stay 
in  this  room  all  the  time?  Why,  it's  a  wonder  you  don't 


138  Hagar  Revelly 

go  crazy.  Yes,  you  will  go  crazy  if  you  keep  it  up.  But 
you  leave  it  to  me."  As  she  went  out,  she  whispered: 
"  I  wouldn't  have  believed  it.  I  thought  you  had  some 
affair,  some  real  love  aifair,  and  I  just  let  you  alone. 
That's  the  reason  I  thought  you  were  standing  it.  I 
thought  maybe  you  were  blue  about  some  fellow. 

"  Why,"  she  hesitated,  "  once  I  came  near  making  you 
tell  me,  because  I  thought  you  were  in  trouble.  You 
know  what  I  mean,  and  that  I  could  help  you  out.  And 
you  only  stood  it  all  this  time  because  —  because  you 
didn't  know !  I  wouldn't  have  believed  it,  dear !  " 

The  faint  light  of  dawn  was  coming  through  the  green 
window  shades  when  Miss  LaMotte  left  and  Hagar  turned 
out  the  gas  and  tumbled  into  bed. 

At  breakfast  Miss  Gillespie  said  to  Hagar,  in  a  ques- 
tioning manner: 

"  What  are  those  circles  doing  under  your  eyes, 
Hagar?" 

Then  Miss  Gillespie  called  her  into  the  hall  and  said  in 
a  quiet,  kind  way,  "  Don't  think  I  want  to  interfere,  child, 
but  I  heard  you  and  Miss  LaMotte  until  early  this  morn- 
ing and  I'm  not  going  to  let  you  forget  the  couple  of 
things  that  I've  taught  you.  I  want  you  to  know  that 
she  is  a  fool  who  is  surely  going  to  get  burned  some  day 
for  playing  with  the  flame." 

Then  she  walked  away,  leaving  Hagar  leaning  against 
the  wall  motionless  with  surprise. 

At  the  store  that  day  business  was  rather  quiet,  and  at 
noon  Hagar  felt  so  worried  and  restless,  she  took  ad- 
vantage of  the  lunch  hour  to  go  up  to  her  mother's  house, 
and  tell  her  of  the  new  position. 

On  the  following  Monday  Hagar  was  initiated  into  the 
requirements  of  her  new  occupation,  and  by  the  middle  of 
the  week  she  felt  quite  at  home. 

The  work  was  not  arduous,  and  there  were  hours  at  a 


Hagar  Revelly  139 

time  when  she  had  nothing  at  all  to  do.  This,  however, 
did  not  trouble  her  —  she  was  not  over-industrious  — 
while  her  vanity  gloried  in  the  promotion,  she  felt  herself 
in  quite  a  different  class  from  the  ordinary  sales-girl,  and 
before  she  had  been  in  her  new  position  a  month,  she  could 
swing  past  her  old  place  at  the  shirt-waist  counter  in 
department  "  D  "  without  even  being  conscious  that  she 
had  once  worked  back  of  the  piles  of  boxes  and  muslins. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

HAGAR'S  new  position  made  it  necessary  for  her  to  see 
Benjamin  Greenfield  more  often  than  before.  And  she 
understood  quite  well  now  that  he  was  fond  of  her. 

During  this  period  they  had  many  delightful  suppers 
together.  They  never,  however,  went  to  the  theatre. 

One  night,  when  he  was  on  the  point  of  taking  her  to 
a  musical  show,  he  had  suddenly  stopped  and  explained  to 
her  quite  frankly  that  it  wasn't  a  good  idea  for  them  to  be 
seen  together  publicly.  He  told  her  they  might  very  easily 
in  this  manner  run  into  someone  from  the  store. 

"  I  know  that  I  don't  have  to  ask  you  whether  you 
understand,"  he  said. 

"  Of  course,  I  understand,  Mr.  Greenfield,"  she  told 
him  in  reply,  thinking  more  of  him  for  being  so  careful 
about  his  business. 

Often  Hagar  wondered  why  she  saw  so  little  of  Herrick 
now,  though  she  did  remember  that  she  had  not  been  able 
to  treat  him  as  nicely  as  she  wished,  since  Mr.  Greenfield 
had  been  taking  her  around. 

As  the  days  went  by  she  began  to  have  a  certain  insight, 
a  really  intelligent  understanding,  of  the  great  city  and 
its  mingled  vices;  this  monstrous  pool  where  only  money 
was  a  protection  against  inundation.  She  began  to 
understand  people  by  the  color  of  their  skin  or  the  look 
in  their  eyes,  or  by  the  way  they  talked. 

One  day  in  early  January,  just  after  the  holiday  rush 
had  worn  all  of  them  at  Rheinchild's,  thin  and  exhausted, 

she  was  the  witness  of  something  that  sorrowed  her  and 

140 


Hagar  Revelly  141 

strained  just  a  little  more,  the  thin  filaments  that  held  her 
innocent  and  believing. 

Miss  Gillespie  had  complained  of  being  sick  all  morn- 
ing and  at  noon  had  left  the  store.  Hagar  saw  nothing 
unusual  in  this  until  she  was  leaving  the  supper  table  that 
evening,  when  Queolla  LaMotte  whispered  across  to  her, 
"  Miss  G.  is  at  it  again.  I  told  you." 

Hagar  was  not  quite  certain  of  the  real  meaning  of  this 
until  she  reached  her  room.  Then  she  stood  upright, 
straight  as  a  rod  and  listened;  from  some  place,  as  if 
carried  by  the  wind,  that  was  whistling  and  bellowing  out- 
side like  a  scared  herd  of  swine,  she  heard  long,  muffled 
moans. 

Listening  again,  a  little  frightened,  she  heard  coming 
from  somewhere  near  another  faint,  stifled,  yet  audible 
groan.  She  was  sure  now  that  some  one  in  the  next  room 
was  in  pain. 

Opening  the  door  she  rushed  out  into  the  hall,  cry- 
ing to  herself  —  "It's  Miss  Gillespie  —  It's  Miss  Gil- 
lespie ! " 

For  just  a  moment  she  stood  still,  and  then,  without 
knocking,  she  ran  into  the  woman's  room. 

The  sight  that  met  Hagar's  eyes  frightened  her  incon- 
ceivably. Stretched  taut  on  the  bed  lay  Miss  Gillespie, 
part  of  the  bed-clothes  over  her,  while  the  rest  lay  in  a 
bedraggled  heap  on  the  floor.  Her  hair  was  loose,  and 
hanging  down  dishevelled,  over  her  partly  bared  shoulders. 
Her  face  was  buried  in  the  bedding,  and  just  under  the 
shadow  of  the  bed's  edge  stood  a  black,  half-filled  whiskey 
bottle. 

For  an  instant  Hagar  stood  with  her  back  against 
the  door  in  ghastly  fright.  Then  a  sense  of  duty  over- 
came her  horror,  and  though  trembling  in  body  and  mind, 
she  went  over  and  pulled  the  woman  back  on  to  the  bed, 
and  covered  with  the  quilt  the  bared  arms  and  bosom. 


Hagar  Revelly 

Then  Hagar  opened  the  tightly  closed  window,  as  there 
was  a  nasty  smell  of  stale  air  and  alcohol  in  the  room. 

The  cold,  clear  air  seemed  to  invigorate  the  drugged 
senses  of  Miss  Gillespie.  In  a  moment  she  began  again 
to  moan  pitifully.  Then  her  eyes  opened,  and  she  tried  to 
moisten  her  parched  lips. 

"  Oh,  I  didn't  want  you  to  see  me,"  she  groaned.  "  Who 
told  you?  Why  did  you  find  out?  "  She  covered  her 
face  with  her  arms  now  as  if  ashamed  that  the  little  girl 
to  whom  she  had  given  the  best  that  was  in  her,  should  find 
her  in  this  condition. 

Hagar  answered :  "  Don't  worry,  Miss  Gillespie.  It's 
all  right.  You're  sick  and  I'll  stay  by  you." 

"  Sick,  yes  —  drunk  I  am  —  again.     Oh,  my  God !  " 

Fearing  that  the  woman  would  see  the  liquor  bottle, 
Hagar  pushed  it  with  her  foot,  further  under  the  bed, 
saying  at  the  same  time,  "  You'll  be  all  right,  Miss  Gil- 
lespie, just  keep  quiet." 

The  woman  turned  over  on  her  side,  and  after  a  period 
of  watching,  Hagar  arose  and  taking  the  black  bottle  un- 
der her  jacket,  stole  back  to  her  room. 

In  the  hallway  she  met  two  of  the  boarders. 

"  Is  Miss  Gillespie  sick?  "  one  asked  with  a  suppressed 
chuckle. 

"  Yes,  but  she'll  be  all  right  before  long,"  replied 
Hagar,  with  all  the  dignity  she  could  muster. 

After  hiding  the  bottle  under  the  mattress  of  her  bed, 
Hagar  went  back  to  continue  her  watch.  At  midnight 
the  moaning  began  again,  but  it  was  apparently  a  deliri- 
ous dream  and  Hagar  had  only  to  pull  the  covers  back 
on  the  bed  and  open  the  windows  a  little  more.  But  it 
was  three  o'clock  before  she  dared  to  leave  the  room,  and 
at  seven  o'clock  she  was  again  up  and  dressed. 

Not  knowing  whether  to  disturb  the  sick  woman,  she 


Hagar  Revelly  143 

tried  tapping  lightly  on  the  wall,  feeling  that  this  would 
not  awaken  her  should  she  be  asleep ;  at  the  same  time 
she  said  softly,  "  How  are  you,  Miss  Gillespie?  " 

There  was  a  swishing  of  clothes  and  the  movement  of 
feet,  and  then  a  worn  voice  against  the  wall,  "  Better, 
dearie ;  come  in,  won't  you  ?  " 

"  Are  you  really  better,  Miss  Gillespie?  "  Hagar  called 
back  anxiously. 

"  Yes,  child.     Come  in." 

After  Hagar  had  gained  the  room  the  woman  asked,  in 
a  feeble  voice,  if  she  would  do  her  a  favor. 

"What  is  it?  "  begged  Hagar. 

"  Take  the  bottle  and  — "  she  laughed  faintly  as 
Hagar  grew  pale,  "  throw  it  in  the  alley  on  your  way  to 
the  store." 

"  You  leave  that  to  me,"  said  Hagar. 

There  were  enough  evidences,  to  Hagar,  of  the  ordeal 
through  which  Miss  Gillespie  had  passed.  The  eyelids 
were  red  and  swollen,  face  puffed,  and  her  hands  trem- 
bled and  twitched  constantly. 

Seeing  Hagar  observe  her,  Miss  Gillespie  began  to 
speak  in  a  voice  that  showed  even  more  the  effects  of  her 
struggle. 

"  I  didn't  want  you  to  know,  Hagar,"  she  half  moaned. 
"  No,  I  didn't  want  you  to  know.  Oh,  I'm  so  sorry,  so 
sorry."  Her  voice  gained  more  strength  as  she  went  on. 
"  But  maybe  it  will  teach  you  something,  Hagar.  If  I 
had  always  stayed  the  way  you  are  now,  you  wouldn't 
see  me  here  like  this." 

Hagar  sat  down  on  the  edge  of  the  bed  and  Miss  Gilles- 
pie took  hold  of  the  little  hands  with  her  own  trembling 
fingers. 

"  You  are  good  to  me,  dear,"  suddenly  exclaimed  the 
woman. 


144  Hagar  Revelly 

"  You've  been  good  to  me,  Miss  Gillespie,"  replied 
Hagar. 

"  Yes,  but  you  will  have  everyone  good  to  you,  child. 
They  don't  think  of  me  any  more." 

"  Please  don't  talk  that  way." 

The  older  woman  sat  upright  in  bed  while  the  greenish 
shade  threw  a  sickening  light  upon  her  face  and  empha- 
sized the  deep  pallor. 

"  I  know  what  you  will  think  of  me,  dear,"  she  began. 
"  You  may  have  a  more  innocent  mind  and  a  bigger  heart, 
but  you  will  think  like  the  rest  of  them.  Nearly  every- 
body is  alike,  only  some  don't  like  to  find  themselves 
thinking  the  things  they  do." 

She  stopped  to  press  her  palms  against  her  throbbing 
temples. 

"  Yes,  kiddie,  there  is  only  about  four  drinks  difference 
between  a  good  woman  and  a  bad  woman.  But  those 
four  drinks  are  pretty  important  when  people  have  a 
chance  to  think  hard  about  somebody  else." 

"  Can't  I  get  you  a  cold  towel  ?  "  begged  Hagar. 

"  No,  I'm  all  right,"  sighed  Miss  Gillespie. 

Under  Hagar's  sympathy,  Miss  Gillespie  improved 
rapidly,  and  when  Hagar  returned  from  breakfast  the 
woman  had  fallen  off  into  her  first  healthy  sleep. 

Hagar  was  surprised  to  see  Miss  Gillespie  come  into 
the  store  about  four  o'clock  that  afternoon,  and  it  made 
her  nearly  want  to  cry  when  she  saw  how  the  woman 
turned  off  every  question  concerning  her  illness. 

A  few  nights  later,  Hagar  sat  by  the  side  of  Miss 
Gillespie's  bed,  while  the  older  woman,  now  quite  recov- 
ered, talked  to  her.  In  a  way  that  cheered  Hagar 
greatly,  Miss  Gillespie  told  her  about  the  different  phases 
of  love  and  how  a  woman  must  meet  them.  Only  indi- 
rectly did  she  refer  to  her  drunken  orgie. 

As  the  child  listened,  open-eyed,  Miss  Gillespie  said: 


Hagar  Revelly  145 

"  Oh,  Hagar,  you  don't  understand  the  muddle  of  being 
a  woman  my  age.  I'm  nearly  thirty,  think  of  it." 

"That's  pretty  old,  isn't  it?" 

Miss  Gillespie  smiled.  "  You  dear,  it  certainly  is." 
Then  she  went  on.  "  You  know  a  woman  doesn't  amount 
to  much  unless  she  is  really  a  bohemian  or  a  booby." 

She  hesitated  to  say  that  she  mustn't  talk  in  this  man- 
ner to  Hagar,  but  the  child  begged  her  to  go  on. 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  a  '  booby,'  Miss  Gillespie?  " 

"  Well,  a  woman  who's  married  because  she's  scared 
of  the  game,  afraid  to  hold  out  against  the  odds,  and 
marries  some  man  for  a  meal  ticket  and  a  front 
parlor. 

"  That's  a  problem  you  don't  know  anything  about, 
but  I  guess  I  can  talk  to  you.  I'd  talk  this  way  to  my 
daughter,  if  I  had  one.  If  a  woman  is  a  bohemian,  she 
learns  and  suffers  for  it, —  if  she's  a  booby  she  suffers 
more,  because  she  dreams  of  the  things  the  bohemian  has 
and  can't  get  them." 

"  You  mean  that  a  married  woman  is  worse  off  than  a 
person  who  is  a  bohemian?  " 

"  Much  worse  off,  sometimes,  child." 

Hagar  thought  for  a  time.  "  Well,  I  don't  think," 
she  said  earnestly,  "  that  a  woman  who  has  a  home  and 
is  married  is  as  bad  off  as  those  women  who  go  around 
in  the  restaurants  all  the  time." 

"  Oh,  you  don't  understand,"  answered  Miss  Gillespie, 
with  an  effort  at  smiling.  "  I'm  talking  about  what  they 
go  through  in  their  minds.  The  woman  who  goes  around 
to  the  restaurants,  as  you  say,  at  least  has  not  fixed  her- 
self so  her  dreams  can't  come  true,  if  there  happens  to 
be  a  chance."  She  thought  for  a  moment.  "  I  don't 
believe  that  a  woman  suffers,  no  matter  how  late  it  comes, 
if  she  is  really  in  love.  Love  is  a  kind  of  chloroform 
that  makes  you  laugh  and  be  happy  —  and  then  dulls 


146  Hagar  Revelly 

you;  maybe  it  is  because  it  has  the  power  of  not  letting 
you  know  you  are  suffering,  when  you  really  are." 

Hagar  interrupted :  "  But  you've  always  told  me, 
Miss  Gillespie,  that  people  ought  to  be  good." 

The  woman  paused  to  say  that  Hagar  was  too  young 
to  understand  her  fully. 

"  You  don't  understand,  Hagar,"  she  said.  "  I'm  not 
preaching  that  kind  of  goodness.  It's  only  that  I  like 
you  and  am  going  to  try  to  keep  you  good,  if  I  have 
anything  to  do  with  it. 

"  This  is  the  only  way  you'll  learn.  There's  got  to 
be  some  method.  You've  got  to  get  at  all  sides  of  the 
game.  It's  better  to  be  good  because  you  know  about  it 
and  are  too  tired  of  life  to  be  bad,  than  it  is  to  be  good 
just  because  you're  afraid  to  be  bad." 

She  took  hold  of  Hagar's  hands  and  caressed  them. 

"  Here  I  am  getting  old,  dearie,"  she  went  on,  "  and 
pretty  soon  my  skin  will  get  a  little  drier  than  it  is  now, 
and  I'll  look  older  and  more  worn  out.  You  know  why?  " 

Hagar  kept  silent. 

"  You  don't  know  why,  do  you?  "  Miss  Gillespie  asked. 

"  No,  I  honestly  don't,  Miss  Gillespie." 

"  Well,  I'll  tell  you.  It's  because  I'm  being  what  peo- 
ple call  good.  It's  all  rot,  that's  all.  I'm  just  not  liv- 
ing up  to  myself,  or  to  nature.  Oh,  well,  it's  because  I 
haven't  got  a  baby  around  me.  Yes,  that's  it.  Every 
woman  is  born  to  be  a  mother.  It's  her  natural  instinct, 
and  she  was  made  just  for  that  and  nothing  else.  If 
she  hasn't  a  baby  around  that  will  take  the  affection 
from  her  that  is  stored  up,  she  begins  to  get  old.  That's 
the  reason  old  maids  look  skinny  and  tired.  Oh,  Hagar, 
you  don't  know  how  I  want  a  baby,  especially  in  the  morn- 
ing, when  I  wake  up  and  see  myself  lying  there  worthless 
and  alone.  Now  what  has  good  or  bad  got  to  do  with 
that?  " 


Hagar  Revelly  147 

Hagar  sat  quietly  throughout  the  woman's  confession. 
But  now  as  Miss  Gillespie  revealed  in  words  her  inner- 
most desire,  Hagar  felt  puzzled,  even  a  little  affected. 

"  I  don't  quite  understand  you,  Miss  Gillespie,"  she 
said. 

"  It's  very  plain,  Hagar.  Women  have  got  to  give 
food  to  that  part  of  themselves,  or  they'll  go  to  pieces. 
They  are  born  to  be  mothers.  You  take  a  man  that  is 
used  to  the  farm  and  put  him  in  a  stone  mansion  in  the 
city,  and  watch  him.  Why,  he'll  get  sick  and  die  off, 
because  he  isn't  following  his  natural  instinct.  It's  a 
good  deal  the  same  thing  with  women. 

"  I've  watched  a  lot  of  them  and  just  about  the  time 
they  get  to  be  thirty  or  so,  if  they  haven't  got  this  baby 
around,  they  go  to  pieces.  They  get  reckless,  do  crazy 
things  that  they  would  have  never  thought  of  five  years 
before."  She  looked  steadily  at  Hagar.  "  You  know 
what  I  think,  child?  Well,  I  think  that  they  ought  to 
make  a  law  that  every  woman  should  have  a  baby  before 
she  is  thirty.  One  way  or  another.  And  when  I  say 
that,  I'm  not  telling  you  to  be  bad. 

"  If  every  woman  in  the  world  that  had  waited  until 
she  was  twenty-five,  and  then  had  not  married  for  love, 
would  go  out  into  the  world  with  the  intention  that  she 
would  marry,  without  the  license,  the  first  man  she  loved 
after  that,  there  wouldn't  be  such  a  thing  as  good  and 
bad  people.  It  would  be  because  they  were  too  sincere 
and  honest  with  themselves.  No  woman  who  loves  the 
child  she  has  borne  can  be  a  bad  woman." 

Then  she  discussed  Miss  Gibbs,  the  crabbed  head  lady 
of  her  department  at  Rheinchild's. 

"  Look  at  her.  There  is  a  good  example  for  young 
girls.  She's  mean  and  hot-tempered  and  soured  on  the 
world.  She's  nearly  forty  now  and  yet  when  you  talk 
about  young  men  to  her,  those  hard  eyes  of  hers  get  dim 


14*8  Hagar  Revelly 

and  she  smiles  kind  of  sickly.  That  smile  is  the  most 
hideous  thing  I  know,  Hagar.  Poor  thing,  she  will  never 
let  go  of  the  idea  that  some  day  she  is  going  to  get  mar- 
ried. And  yet  I  know  that  there  was  a  fellow  in  her  life 
when  she  was  younger,  who  loved  her  and  she  him,  but 
who  didn't  get  married  because  he  had  no  money.  There 
is  a  good  sample.  Supposing  they'd  have  gone  ahead 
and  married  without  the  license  until  they  could  have  af- 
forded to  buy  it.  She  would  have  had  a  child  now,  and 
I'll  bet  she  would  be  just  as  tender  and  kind  as  anybody. 

"  But  even  if  she  is  getting  a  little  crazier  each  day," 
Miss  Gillespie  continued,  "  the  idea  that  she's  going  to 
be  married  and  loved  some  day  is  like  a  life-saving  belt 
for  her.  If  she  didn't  have  that  idea  in  her  head  she 
would  go  under." 

Hagar  commented  that  she  thought  Miss  Gibbs  was 
hopeless. 

"  Well,  maybe  she  does  appear  that  way,  but  think 
what  she  might  have  come  to  if  she  would  have  just  been 
what  other  people  call  bad.  Why,  look  at  me,  Hagar. 
Don't  think  I  get  under  the  liquor  because  —  I  want  to. 
Oh,  it  isn't  that,  my  little  friend.  I  don't  like  the  stuff. 
But  it  gets  me  just  the  same.  I  get  so  blue,  sometimes, 
when  I  think  of  what  I  might  have  had,  and  how  I  be- 
lieved in  other  people's  views  of  things  —  why,  I  pretty 
nearly  go  mad." 

She  looked  curiously  at  Hagar  for  a  long  time. 

"  You  know,  kiddie,  I  don't  know  why  I  should  talk 
like  this  to  you  —  I  guess  because  you're  so  soft  to  have 
around,  and  kind  and  sympathetic.  .  .  .  Well,  to  go 
back,  my  head  gets  filled  with  thoughts  of  that  past.  I 
remember  how  I  used  to  hug  and  kiss  him,  and  beg  for  a 
baby  —  and  then  I  think  of  how  he  was  only  fooling 
with  me  —  yes,  I  get  the  blue  devils  when  I  think  of  it, 
get  sort  of  confused.  If  I  didn't  drink,  I'd  do  something 


Hagar  Rerelly  149 

worse."  Her  lips  thinned  and  pursed  together.  "  Once 
I  came  near  killing  myself.  I  even  got  a  revolver." 

Hagar  held  her  breath,  as  the  woman's  voice  died  down. 

"  But  I  am  too  much  of  a  coward.  I'll  always  be 
sitting  in  this  room,  thinking,  and  getting  more  stale, 
and  old.  And  I'll  go  down  to  Rheinchild's  every  day  just 
like  now." 


CHAPTER  XIV 

ONE  night  Hagar  and  Greenfield  sat  together  until  mid- 
night at  a  table  in  the  back  of  a  German  restaurant  on 
Fourteenth  Street,  and  he  revealed  to  her  for  the  first 
time  the  exact  regard  in  which  he  held  her,  telling  her 
how  he  loved  her,  and  relating  in  tender  words  how  it  had 
hurt  him  at  the  very  beginning  to  see  her  back  of  the 
counter  selling  shirt-waists.  He  told  her  how  difficult  it 
had  been  to  keep  from  wording  his  affections  long  before, 
mentioning  that  he  had  created  the  position  of  guide  for 
her,  because  he  couldn't  stand  it  when  he  realized  how 
poorly  she  was  living. 

"  No,  I  couldn't  stand  it,  dear,"  he  said,  with  his  hands 
closed  tight  over  hers.  The  expression  on  his  face  at 
that  moment,  and  the  feeling  in  his  voice,  remained  by 
her  for  many  days. 

He  took  her  home  in  a  carriage,  but  he  did  not  take 
advantage  of  the  privacy  to  kiss  or  embrace  her.  He 
was  really  very  kind  and  gentle.  Yet  she  was  not  able  to 
sleep  throughout  the  night.  For  a  long  time,  she  re- 
alized, she  had  been  aware  of  his  attentions  and  the 
message  they  conveyed.  And  as  she  lay  there  open-eyed, 
she  wondered  why  it  was  that  she  was  always  so  scared 
and  nervous,  whenever  he  came  near  her. 

Standing  in  the  store  vestibule  next  evening,  deep  in 
a  reverie,  she  heard  his  familiar  voice.  It  came 
simultaneously  with  her  thoughts  of  the  night  before. 

"  You  can't  go  home  in  the  subway  in  this  weather," 

he  said,  pointing  to  the  drifting  snow,  and  placing  his 

150 


Hagar  Revelly  151 

hand   over   hers   on   the   umbrella  handle.     "  It'll   be   so 
stuffy  and  crowded,  you  wouldn't  be  able  to  stand  it." 

"Well,  what  am  I  to  do?"     She  answered  him  rather 
sweetly,  as  if  to  say  that  she  was  glad  to  see  him  again. 
'  You're  to  come  take  a  bite  with  me,  and  we'll  see 
about  getting  home  later." 

Hagar  protested  that  they  had  been  together  just  the 
night  before. 

"  I  don't  think  we  ought  to  be  together  so  often,"  she 
said. 

"  Why  not  ?  "  He  looked  at  her  steadily  for  a  mo- 
ment, then  said  firmly :  "  Come." 

She  took  his  arm. 

"  Did  you  miss  me  to-day,  Hagar?  "  was  his  first  ques- 
tion after  they  had  gained  the  opposite  side  of  the  street. 

She  hesitated.  "  Some  — "  she  said  at  last,  with  a  lit- 
tle coy  laugh. 

"  I  missed  you  a  good  deal,  kiddie,"  he  murmured. 

"  I'm  sorry." 

"  I  am  very  glad.  You  don't  know  how  fine  it  is  to 
feel  that  you  want  some  one  by  you  all  the  time.  I  don't 
suppose  you  feel  that  way?  " 

Then,  before  he  gave  her  time  to  answer,  he  said,  point- 
ing to  the  little  worn,  black,  leather  bag  at  her  side: 
"  Why  do  you  carry  that  ?  It's  worn  out." 

"  Well  —  I  —  it  was  a  good  one  when  it  was  new  and 
I  would  rather  have  an  old  good  one  than  a  cheap  new 
one." 

"You're  a  funny  little  thing,"  he  said  jovially,  as  he 
looked  into  her  eyes.  "  You  know  very  well  you  only 
need  go  into  the  leather  department  and  pick  out  what 
you  want.  Why  haven't  you?  " 

"  I  never  thought  of  it." 

"  Well,  you  see  that  you  do  it  to-morrow.  I  don't 
want  anything  about  you  that  will  spoil  your  good  looks." 


152  Hagar  Revelly 

"  You  are  very  kind,  Mr.  Greenfield." 

"  Yes,  but  you  don't  appreciate  me,"  was  his  comment. 

He  took  her  to  Mouqiun's  and  after  dinner  they  had 
their  demi-tasse  downstairs. 

Ordering  coffee  for  two,  and  a  cognac  for  himself,  he 
settled  back  against  the  cushioned  wall,  with  his  hand 
gently  touching  Hagar's. 

Then  a  sudden  thought  made  him  call  the  waiter  and 
order  "  two  cognacs." 

Presently  the  liquors  were  placed  on  the  table  in  front 
of  them  and  he  explained  that  cognac  was  the  only 
dressing  to  use  in  black  coffee.  As  she  hesitated,  he  said 
kindly : 

"  Why,  it's  all  right,  Hagar.  You  know  I  wouldn't 
give  you  anything  that  would  hurt  you.  And  it  would 
please  me  very  much  if  you  would  do  little  things  like  that, 
now  that  we  understand  each  other.  It  would  make  me 
think  that  you  cared  —  just  a  little  —  for  me." 

He  spoke  as  if  he  felt  very  sorry  for  himself.  But 
he  was  delighted  when  Hagar  poured  the  liquor  into  her 
coffee,  as  if  to  show  him  that  she  really  did  care. 

In  friendly  confidential  fashion  they  conversed  the  whole 
evening,  though  he  was  careful  never  to  imply  anything 
suggestive  in  a  direct  way.  Whenever  he  wanted  to  say 
something  along  intimate  lines  he  would  always  handle 
the  subject  as  if  it  concerned  some  one  else,  and  seemingly 
tell  a  story  about  one  of  his  friends.  He  knew  he  could 
talk  to  her  impersonally  and  word  the  daring  emotions 
and  desires  that  surged  through  him,  but  he  knew  too, 
that  with  Hagar,  nothing  could  be  placed  in  blunt,  start- 
ling fashion.  He  must  be  calm,  suave,  kind,  he  told  him- 
self. 

Greenfield  came  all  the  way  back  to  his  office  that 
night  after  he  had  taken  Hagar  home.  A  small  business 
deal  troubled  him  and  he  meant  to  gain  the  seclusion  of 


Hagar  Revelly  153 

his  office  to  plan  out  the  proper  method  of  procedure. 
It  was  nearly  midnight  and  the  night  watchman  had  to 
be  notified  before  he  could  gain  an  entrance  into  the 
building.  It  hardly  seemed  worth  the  trouble.  And 
after  he  reached  the  secluded  room  he  found  himself  utterly 
unable  to  give  the  problem  that  had  brought  him,  the 
proper  amount  of  thought.  Instead  his  mind  continually 
dwelt  upon  Hagar. 

He  sat  in  his  chair  thinking  of  the  soft  delicate  skin, 
of  her  small  full  bosom.  He  recognized  how  different 
was  his  pursuit  of  this  child,  compared  to  his  methods 
with  other  women.  Yes,  there  was  no  doubt  but  what  he 
desired  her  to  an  inordinate  degree;  but  did  she  know 
this  and  would  the  end  come  about  in  the  usual  fashion? 
Or  was  she  just  fooling  him.  Surely  she  couldn't  think 
him  so  gullible  as  that. 

It  was  different  with  Hagar  than  with  other  women, 
after  all,  he  reasoned.  With  her  he  was  forced  to  put 
on  his  best  manners,  to  submit  to  her  apparent  innocence 
without  a  protest.  How  ridiculous  it  was  that  when 
away  from  her,  he  could  plan  on  some  final  mode  of  at- 
tack, and  then  always  have  the  situation  the  same  when- 
ever he  went  to  her. 

Though  he  had  come  on  a  business  quest,  Greenfield 
sat  idle  in  the  darkness  of  his  office,  until  two  o'clock. 
He  thought  over  his  adventures  of  the  last  half  dozen 
years,  of  the  many  women  with  whom  he  had  consorted 
and  the  pleasures  they  had  afforded  him.  And  when  he 
locked  the  door  after  him,  and  walked  through  the  silent 
store  to  the  street,  it  was  with  the  feeling  that  he  must 
be  stronger  with  Hagar  and  not  give  in  to  her  so  easily. 

But  when  he  reached  his  room  at  the  hotel  he  was  less 
defiant  and  more  weak  than  ever.  A  well  defined  pang 
of  loneliness  struck  him  as  he  turned  on  the  switch  button 
of  the  electric  light.  In  that  moment  he  saw  clearly 


154»  Hagar  Revelly 

what  Hagar  had  done  for  him.  It  made  him  somewhat 
rebellious.  He  saw  that  since  he  had  known  her,  he  no 
longer  found  it  possible  to  mingle  with  the  women  of  his 
past  acquaintance.  He  realized  that  this  was  not  a 
passing  impersonal  episode,  but  that  Hagar  was  a  woman 
whom  he  really  loved,  a  woman  whose  arms  would  keep 
him  from  terrible  evenings  of  loneliness  and  unrest. 

For  some  days  Greenfield  reasoned  that  it  was  not  Ha- 
gar's  charms,  but  just  the  fact  that  he  was  growing  older 
which  gave  this  sudden  desire  for  quiet  and  peacefulness. 

In  his  mind's  eye  he  would  see  her,  a  little  innocent 
girl,  with  shining  black  hair  and  wonderful  ivory  skin, 
and  would  imagine  her  wearing  a  Parisian  gown,  her  neck 
encircled  by  rows  of  pearls  and  diamonds ;  he  would 
picture  himself  opposite  her,  in  some  well  lighted  restau- 
rant, where  all  the  eyes  would  be  envying  him,  and  he 
would  realize  that  it  was  the  girl  herself  he  wanted,  that 
he  must  carry  on  the  fight. 

All  his  life  he  had  seen  beautiful  women  in  the  pos- 
session of  ugly  stupid  men,  and  knowing  that  he  was 
thought  rather  handsome,  he  had  come  to  lose  confidence 
in  his  own  ability  for  not  discovering  some  woman  that 
would  vie  with  them.  Here,  indeed  was  the  opportunity. 

About  a  month  after  the  evening  when  Hagar  and 
Greenfield  were  at  Mouquin's,  he  gave  her  a  first  insight 
into  his  philosophy  regarding  her.  The  revelation  came 
so  gradually  that  she  met  it  unsuspiciously,  as  if  he 
had  been  talking  about  some  part  of  her  dress,  or  about 
business. 

Over  a  deep,  blood-red  claret  lemonade  at  Louis  Mar- 
tins,   he    told    her    exactly    what    he    thought    of    her. 
Listening  to   him   she   was   in   turn,   grateful,   startled, 
perplexed,  but  with  it  all  finding  a  great  satisfaction  in  x 
having  her  vague  feeling  of  unrest  at  last  explained. 

"  You  are  built  a  certain  way,"  he   said.     "  I  know 


Hagar  Revelly  155 

because  I  have  watched  a  lot  of  girls,  at  the  store  and 
other  places.  And  it  is  all  fixed  up  for  you.  Your 
eyes,  ycur  lips,  your  whole  body  has  been  built  a  certain 
way,  and  it  wasn't  meant  for  you  " —  he  leaned  over  the 
table  earnestly  — "  to  sell  shirt-waists.  Maybe  it  is  too 
bad  that  you  can't  —  but  you  can't.  It  won't  help  it 
either  if  you  fight,  because  it  would  only  be  fighting 
against  yourself.  And  you'd  wear  yourself  out  doing 
that. 

"  You  might  even  try  to  game  it  out  behind  the  counter, 
until  something  happens,  or  somebody  came  along.  But 
nothing  ever  happens  and  they  never  come.  At  least  not 
to  take  you  where  you  belong.  You  are  not  a  crude 
piece  of  material  that  can  work  on  a  few  dollars  a  week. 
Yes,  I  know.  Maybe  you  do  too.  You  need  pretty 
clothes,  soft  crushy  things  that  cost  money,  and  you  like 
attention,  you  like  having  men  turn  around  after  you 
and  all  that,  don't  you?  I've  watched  you." 

He  went  on  in  a  soft  alluring  way  of  speaking  and 
the  words  came  soothingly  to  her  ears.  He  said  she  was 
like  a  hot-house  flower,  a  rose,  which,  if  exposed  too  much 
to  the  cold  winds  of  adversity,  would  lose  its  beautiful 
blush. 

It  was  this  blush,  he  described,  which  was  in  reality 
her  beauty,  that  protected  her  at  all  times.  It  made 
people  kind  to  her,  it  gave  her  the  best  that  was  in  them, 
and  it  was  a  veneer  that  was  only  beautiful  when  it  was 
well  taken  care  of. 

"  If  you  don't  watch  out,"  he  said  on,  "  the 
raw  air  will  eat  at  the  petals.  Oh,  little  girl,"  he  whis- 
pered nearly  in  her  ears,  "  don't  lose  this  blush,  this 
great  beauty.  Supposing  you  have  beauty  and  fra- 
grance, just  like  a  rose,  you  will  wither  like  the  rest  of 
the  flowers  if  you  expose  yourself  and  are  not  taken  care 
of.  I  make  this  comparison  to  a  rose,"  he  said,  watching 


156  Hagar  Revelly 

the  effect  of  his  words,  "  because  I  think  it  makes  a  pretty 
good  argument.  If  you  expose  yourself  to  hard  work 
you  will  become  just  as  ugly  as  the  rest  of  the  girls." 

As  he  spoke  of  her  beauty  being  lost,  she  looked  at  him 
strangely  aroused. 

Greenfield  perceived  that  his  words  had  carried  some 
message  to  her.  He  hastened  to  add :  "  You'll  have  to 
give  in  some  day,  Hagar,  and  the  longer  you  hold  out, 
the  more  foolish  you'll  be." 

Hagar  was  silent  for  a  long  time.  "  Well,  what  am 
I  to  do  ?  "  she  then  asked. 

"  Why,  make  it  easier  for  yourself.  I  love  you  —  I 
am  willing  to  do  all  I  can." 

She  looked  at  him  in  a  puzzled  way,  saying,  after  some 
time,  "  I  don't  believe  I  quite  understand  you,  Mr.  Green- 
field." 

For  a  moment  Greenfield  thought  that  this  might  be 
the  moment  to  explain  everything.  And  then  he  saw 
that  it  would  be  a  great  mistake,  at  least  at  this  time. 
He  would  not  even  be  able  to  kiss  her  here.  It  would 
have  to  be  in  some  place,  where  they  were  alone. 

With  some  hesitation  he  took  out  of  his  pocket  a  lit- 
tle memorandum  book  and  from  between  its  red  leather 
covers,  tore  a  slip  of  paper.  "  I'm  living  on  Eighty- 
seventh  Street,  at  this  address,"  he  said  simply,  as  he 
wrote  down  a  number.  "Will  you  come?" 

".Why,  I—" 

Greenfield  was  watching  her  closely,  not  quite  under- 
standing whether  she  realized  the  meaning  he  meant  to 
convey.  He  took  her  hesitation  as  meaning  fear  more 
than  anything  else. 

"  Oh,  it's  all  right,"  he  spoke  quickly.  "  You  need 
only  come  to  the  first  door  and  ask  for  me.  Yes,  you 
come  there  and  I'll  tell  you  what  I  mean.  We'll  be  alone 
and  able  to  have  a  dandy  talk.  There  is  a  big  grate  fire 


Hagar  Revelly  157 

in  the  sitting-room  and  it's  perfectly  all  right.  You  will 
come,  dearie,  won't  you?  " 

He  looked  steadily  into  her  eyes  and  gradually  pressed 
with  greater  intensity  the  hands  that  lay  clasped  under 
his  own. 

"  Will  you?  "  he  asked  again,  in  just  a  whisper. 

"  Yes,  I  guess  so,"  she  answered,  her  eyes  looking  far 
in  front  of  her. 

They  set  the  time  for  the  following  evening. 

Hagar  grew  so  restless  during  that  next  day  that  at 
the  closing  hour  she  decided  to  visit  her  mother  for  a 
short  time.  A  chat  might  put  a  stop  to  the  nervousness 
that  so  troubled  her,  and  make  her  look  forward  to  the 
evening  with  more  anticipation.  Then,  it  was  a  good 
time  anyway,  as  one  thing  or  another  had  kept  her  from 
going  up  to  the  house  for  nearly  a  week. 

There  was  the  usual  affectionate  greeting,  when  Hagar 
entered  her  mother's  room;  and  then  Mrs.  Revelly,  who 
had  been  sitting  at  the  sewing  machine,  went  back  to  her 
seat. 

"  I'm  going  to  keep  right  on  working,  dearie,"  she  said. 
"  I  want  to  finish  up  this  waist  to  wear  Sunday." 

Hagar's  eyes  brightened  with  professional  interest. 
"  Let  me  see  it,  mother." 

Mrs.  Revelly  handed  over  the  half -finished  garment,  and 
awaited  with  some  anxiety  her  daughter's  verdict. 

Hagar  looked  at  the  sleeves  critically. 

"  I  think,  mother,  they  ought  to  be  kimono.  We  just 
can't  get  rid  of  anything  that  ain't  kimono." 

"  Wouldn't  it  be  a  little  bit  hard  to  make  kimono  sleeves 
in  this  thin  goods?"  Mrs.  Revelly  asked. 

"  Well,  I  don't  know,  but  all  ours  are  like  that.  Say, 
mother,  why  don't  you  come  around  to  the  store  and  act 
like  you  were  a  customer,  and  I'll  show  you  everything, 
and  you  can  see  how  it's  made." 


158  Hagar  Revelly 

Mrs.  Revelly  was  interested. 

"  Why,  maybe,"  Hagar  went  on,  "  I  could  fix  it  that 
you'd  get  some  stuff  at  discount  —  like  I  do.  I  believe  I 
could  fix  that." 

Mrs.  Revelly  thought  that  would  be  fine.  "  I  suppose 
all  you  girls  can  buy  things  cheap  like  that  ?  "  she  queried. 

"  Well,  I  don't  know  if  they  all  can,"  said  Hagar,  a 
little  self-consciously. 

Mrs.  Revelly  leaned  over  the  sewing  machine  with  an 
expression  in  her  eyes  that  was  a  question. 

Hagar  made  no  reply,  however,  but  played  with  her 
leather  bag. 

"  Why,  can  you  get  a  different  price  from  the  other 
girls,  Hagar?  " 

"  Why  —  I  guess  maybe  —  I  can.  Mr.  Greenfield  — 
said  something  about  it  the  other  day." 

"  He's  the  manager  of  the  whole  store,  isn't  he  ?  "  re- 
marked Mrs.  Revelly. 

"  I  think  he's  got  pretty  much  the  main  say.  We 
hardly  ever  see  Mr.  Rheinchild."  Hagar  picked  up  from 
the  floor  a  piece  of  goods  that  had  fallen  from  the  machine. 
"  He's  been  real  nice  to  me,"  she  added. 

When  Hagar  went  up  the  brown,  crumbled  steps  of  the 
house  on  Eighty-seventh  Street,  she  realized  that  the  visit 
to  her  mother  had  helped  very  little ;  she  really  did  not 
know  exactly  why  she  was  going,  or  the  meaning  of  her 
mission;  she  tried  to  tell  herself  it  was  only  different 
from  going  to  a  restaurant,  in  that  she  was  going  to  his 
house  instead.  No  more  than  that.  And  she  did  not 
know  whether  the  sensation  of  aching  and  emptiness  about 
her  heart  was  due  to  the  fact  that  she  had  walked  fast, 
or  to  a  strange  feeling  of  fear  and  guilt,  that  she  could 
not  explain,  and  for  which  she  saw  no  reason. 

Hagar  did  not  really  understand  at  all  what  Greenfield 
was  proposing,  and  as  she  went  up  the  steps  and  rang 


Hagar  Revelly  159 

the  door  bell,  there  was  in  her  mind  a  little  feeling  of  re- 
gret, because  she  knew  that  she  did  not  love  him  in  return 
for  all  his  great  kindness  to  her. 

It  was  this  feeling  that  was  the  first  thing  she  ex- 
plained to  him,  after  she  was  settled  in  the  big  plush  chair 
he  had  pushed  up  for  her  in  front  of  the  fire. 

"  Don't  worry,  dearie,"  he  said ;  "  you'll  care  more  for 
me  some  day.  I  guess  I  love  you  enough  for  both  of  us 
now." 

He  took  her  dainty  hand  and  petted  it. 

Like  a  picture  of  the  Degas  Dancing  Girl  that  hung 
in  the  framing  department  at  Rheinchild's,  she  seemed  to 
him.  Her  black,  nearly  coarse,  hair  was  in  such  direct  re- 
markable contrast  to  the  soft  transparency  of  her  face, 
while  the  flat  glossy  strands  that  came  down  low  over  her 
forehead  defiantly  accentuated  the  simple  freshness  of 
her  mouth  and  her  eyes. 

Such  charming  youth  he  had  never  encountered.  It 
was  innocence,  he  told  himself,  but  not  doll-like,  or  stu- 
pidly pretty,  such  as  he  had  usually  noticed  in  young 
girls.  Instead  there  was  something  desirous,  expectant, 
in  the  limpid  darkness  of  her  eyes ;  and  when  he  watched 
her  mouth,  a  feeling  that  he  must  kiss  her  came  in  a  hot 
wave  of  passion  that  he  could  barely  subdue.  It  was  a 
mouth  that  was  small  and  yet  well  curved,  with  lips  so 
full,  he  could  only  think  of  it  as  being  some  flower  that' 
was  unfolding  its  petals  for  the  first  time. 

Hagar  became  conscious  of  his  admiration  and  lowered 
her  head  with  a  soft,  little  laugh,  saying :  "  I  wish  you 
wouldn't  look  at  me  like  that,  Mr.  Greenfield." 

"  I'm  only  admiring  you." 

His  face  was  very  close  to  hers  now.  She  wondered  if 
she  would  let  him  kiss  her,  should  he  try ;  while  in  his 
mind  came  the  thought  that  perhaps  this  was  the  time 
to  unleash  his  passions. 


160  Hagar  Reuelly 

But  he  restrained  himself  valorously  as  he  saw  a  fright- 
ened stare  creep  into  her  eyes.  This  puzzled  him.  He 
was  not  sure  but  that  she  knew  his  motive  and  was  using  a 
woman's  strongest  argument,  fear  and  weakness,  to  com- 
bat his  impulses.  However,  he  decided  he  must  still  go 
slowly. 

So  he  was  kind  and  attentive  and  quiet.  They  talked 
of  the  store,  of  the  latest  shows,  the  new  restaurant  that 
had  startled  all  New  York;  he  talked  about  himself,  told 
her  how  he  had  gone  through  high  school  and  graduated 
at  sixteen  and  was  getting  ready  for  college,  when  his 
father's  clothing  establishment  went  into  an  unforeseen 
bankruptcy.  With  a  great  feeling  of  sympathy,  Hagar 
heard  how  he  had  been  compelled  to  start  as  a  bundle 
boy  at  Rheinchild's.  Then  came  the  successive  steps,  at 
last  rising  to  his  present  high  position. 

"  But  I  mustn't  talk  of  myself,"  he  whispered 
sadly. 

She  whispered  back.  "  Oh,  yes,  please  —  I  like  to  hear 
you." 

He  drew  his  chair  a  little  closer,  thinking :  "  This  girl 
is  strange,  so  contradictory.  I  don't  know  whether  she 
wants  me  to  go  on,  or  whether  she  doesn't  yet  understand 
at  what  I  am  driving." 

Stammering  that  his  life  had  not  been  all  roses  and 
gold,  he  took  her  hand  and  said,  with  a  show  of  longing 
in  his  words :  "  Yes,  there  was  a  time  between  twenty 
and  thirty,  little  girl,  that  I  lost  all  the  pleasures  that 
other  men  have.  There  was  no  youth  for  me  then.  I  had 
to  work  hard." 

Hagar  responded  with  a  remark  that  he  shouldn't  think 
so  sadly. 

He  saw  that  she  really  felt  sorry  for  him. 

Then  she  asked :     "  How  old  are  you,  Mr.  Greenfield  ?  " 

"  Well,"  he  replied,  bravely  —  an  effort  which  he  made 


Hagar  Revelly  161 

forcedly  artificial  — "  I  guess  I'm  not  so  awful  old  — 
about  thirty-seven." 

Hagar  thought  that  that  was  a  "  just  right "  age, 
while  he  regretted  that  he  had  lopped  off  four  years 
by  his  lie. 

"  Maybe  she'd  feel  sorrier  for  me,  if  I  were  older,"  he 
told  himself. 

"And  you,  how  old  are  you,  Hagar?" 

"  I'll  be  seventeen  pretty  soon,"  she  said  proudly. 

At  that  moment  there  was  a  loud  ringing  of  the  door- 
bell and  the  sound  of  a  man's  voice  mingled  with  a  tramp- 
ing of  heavy  feet  up  the  stairway. 

"  You  don't  live  here  by  yourself,  do  you  ?  "  she  asked. 

"  Oh,  no,  I  just  have  these  two  rooms." 

Hagar  noticed  his  face  redden,  but  she  attributed  it 
to  the  heat  of  the  room. 

"  It's  hot  in  here,  isn't  it  ?  "  said  she,  in  benevolent  de- 
sire to  justify  his  heated  face.  "  Why  don't  you  open 
the  hall  door?" 

Hagar  had  started  to  do  this  herself,  when  he  arose 
hastily  and  gently  pushed  her  back  into  the  chair. 

"  Too  many  people  coming  in  at  this  time  of  the  even- 
ing," he  told  her. 

"What  difference  could  that  make?"  she  asked. 
"  Anyway  they  have  gone  upstairs." 

"  But  I  don't  want  them  to  see  us,  just  the  same." 

Then  he  changed  the  conversation  to  other  things,  and 
Hagar,  though  puzzled  at  his  manner,  said  to  herself  that 
it  was  just  that  same  strangeness  of  his  she  had  noticed 
so  many  times  before  —  often  he  was  very  strange  and 
changed  the  subject  quickly,  and  she  remembered  an  oc- 
casion when  he  had  very  hurriedly  placed  her  in  a  dark 
doorway  for  fifteen  minutes  and  how  at  another  time  he 
had  suddenly  forgotten  that  she  was  with  him  and  jumped 
off  the  street  car  and  left  her  alone. 


162  Hagar  Revelly 

Then  he  arose  from  the  chair  and  nervously  walked  up 
and  down  for  a  few  minutes  without  speaking. 

"  Have  you  lived  here  very  long  ?  " 

Though  his  cleverness  did  not  forsake  him,  he  still  saw 
that  she  had  steered  him  into  a  tight  place,  with  her  ques- 
tion. He  looked  at  her  in  a  quizzical  way  as  if  to  say, 
"  You're  a  pretty  wise  little  girl,  aren't  you  ?  " 

But  Hagar  was  not  at  all  suspicious,  even  thinking  that 
he  had  everything  put  away  in  the  bedroom.  His  an- 
swer, "  Oh,  I  only  moved  in  yesterday,  my  trunks  are  still 
in  the  other  place,"  satisfied  her  entirely. 

And  when  he  sighed  dejectedly  and  added,  "  That's  the 
way  we  live,  those  of  us  who  haven't  anyone  to  look  after 
us,"  she  felt  actually  sorry  for  him. 

Hagar  looked  up  into  his  face,  and  asked  if  it  was  nec- 
essary that  he  lead  such  a  lonely  life. 

"  What  else  is  there  to  do,"  he  answered  wearily. 

Then  he  leaned  over  and  put  his  lips  very  close  to  her 
eyes.  "  You  don't  mean,  Hagar,  that  —  you'd  help  me 
out  of  it?" 

So  close  were  his  lips  to  her  cheeks  that  he  could  not 
control  himself.  He  kissed  her,  once  on  the  cheek,  then 
on  her  lips. 

Frantically  Hagar  tore  herself  loose  from  his  embrace, 
her  face  coloring  rhythmically,  with  each  breath. 

"  Why,  Mr.  Greenfield,  how  dare  you  do  that,"  she  cried 
angrily. 

It  was  hard  for  Greenfield  to  control  his  temper  at 
this  unexpected  repulse.  He  had  really  thought  that  she 
was  well  under  his  influence.  As  Hagar  stood  glaring  at 
him,  he  could  only  think  of  how  childish  she  looked. 

He  admitted  to  himself  that  perhaps  he  had  been  fool- 
ish, but  he  was  more  determined  now  than  ever  before, 
to  win  her. 

After  some  time,  when  he  had  fairly  well  calmed  him- 


Hagar  Revelly  163 

self  and  Hagar  had  settled  back  in  her  chair  again,  he 
said  : 

"  You're  funny,  Hagar.  You  tell  me  you  like  me,  yet 
you  carry  on  like  that,  and  won't  even  let  me  kiss  you. 
What's  a  kiss  anyway?  " 

For  a  moment  Hagar  was  silent.  "  Oh,  it  seems  dif- 
ferent, Mr.  Greenfield,  with  you  somehow.  It  just  spoils 
things  to  have  you  act  that  way.  Somehow  I  really 
thought  you  were  different.  You've  been  so  kind  to  me." 
She  thought  of  Mr.  Herrick,  and  a  half  dozen  others 
whom  she  had  met  since  she  left  school.  "  Why,  they 
all  act  that  way,"  she  continued.  "  Everybody  tries  to 
kiss  you  and  put  their  arms  around  you.  I  kept  think- 
ing you're  different  than  them,  but  when  you  do  things 
like  that  I  am  so  disappointed  in  you." 

Greenfield  searched  in  his  mind  for  the  right  answer; 
he  came  near  telling  her  that  she  was  more  innocent  than 
he  had  thought,  that  all  men  were  alike,  that  it  was  only 
their  methods  which  differed.  But  he  saw  he  should  not 
say  this.  Strangely  at  a  loss  for  the  right  word,  he 
said  at  last,  "  I'm  sorry  you  feel  that  way  about  it, 
Hagar." 

For  a  time  both  of  them  were  overtaken  by  an  awk- 
ward silence.  Hagar  sat  gazing  into  the  fire  while  Green- 
field studied  her  head  and  face,  feeling  a  little  foolish 
when  he  thought  how  after  all  the  weeks  and  months, 
he  had  let  this  slip  of  a  girl  repulse  him  without  his  offer- 
ing any  resistance. 

He  allowed  her  to  leave  as  soon  as  he  thought  that  the 
incident  had  passed  from  her  mind.  And  she  felt  a  re- 
newal of  her  confidence  in  him  when  she  walked  by  a  fruit 
store  on  Columbus  Avenue  and  noticed  that  a  clock  said 
it  was  not  yet  ten-thirty.  He  had  not  let  her  go,  how- 
ever, until  she  had  agreed  to  come  the  next  evening. 

Greenfield  felt  that  he  understood  thoroughly  the  work- 


164  Hagar  Revelly 

ings  of  Hagar's  virginal  mind.  He  reasoned  that  he  un- 
derstood perfectly  that  defiant  moment  of  repulsion  and 
struggle  to  free  herself  from  his  grasp;  he  told  himself 
it  wasn't  that  she  was  more  innocent  or  that  she  had 
better  self-control  when  she  said,  "  How  dare  you?  "  but 
that  she  was  only  repeating  the  words  that  every  young 
girl  had  instinctively  repeated  from  time  beyond  memory. 

Of  course,  she  was  supposed  to  meet  his  first  caresses 
in  just  that  manner.  It  might  not  have  been  that  she 
wanted  to.  It  was  merely  her  natural  instinct.  That 
was  it.  Had  he  not  noticed,  for  just  the  slightest  frac- 
tion of  a  moment  that  she  clung  to  him,  when  his  arms 
were  around  her?  She  would  probably  run  through  all 
the  set  stages,  at  first  rebellion,  then  the  gradual  re- 
linquishing to  uphold  her  pride,  and  at  last  concessions 
and  surrender  —  with  the  surrender  coming  in  a  state  of 
semi-consciousness  so  that  she  could  say  afterwards  she 
had  no  idea  of  her  action.  Yes,  he  had  been  a  fool  to 
postpone  a  decisive  action  for  so  long. 

There  was  only  one  way.  That  was  to  take  her  by 
storm  so  that  the  brunt  of  blame  could  be  carried  on  his 
shoulders.  Women  were  all  like  that.  They  dare  not 
assume  any  responsibility  for  their  succumbing. 

It  was  past  eight-thirty  the  next  night  when  Hagar 
went  up  the  steps  and  rang  the  bell  of  the  house  on 
Eighty-seventh  Street. 

The  fat  colored  woman  with  the  blue  dress,  answered 
the  door  as  before. 

"Is  Mr.  Greenfield  in?" 

"  Yes.     Just  come  in.     He  expects  you  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  think  so." 

She  went  in.     A  moment  later  Greenfield  met  her. 

Starting  to  greet  him,  she  was  instead  much  bewildered 
when  he  grasped  her  in  his  arms  and  kissed  her  passion- 
ately. 


Hagar  Revelly  165 

"  Now  sit  clown,  dear.     I'm  so  glad  you  came." 

He  had  taken  her  by  surprise.  She  wanted  to  say  sev- 
eral things  at  once,  but  all  her  devastated  senses  could 
muster  was  the  sentence :  "  Why  —  why  —  do  you  do 
that  —  after  last  night  ?  " 

Her  face  was  flushed  and  her  lips  quivered. 

"  Because  I  love  you.  That's  the  reason.  Now  let's 
sit  down." 

Before  she  had  time  for  comment  or  parley,  he  went 
on :  "  We  mustn't  be  fools.  I  love  you,  Hagar,  I  hon- 
estly do,  and  you  know  it  and  this  game  can't  last  for- 
ever." He  looked  up  into  her  face.  She  had  risen  and 
was  gazing  absently  into  the  mirror  over  the  mantelpiece. 

"Why  do  you  stand  up  so  scared-like?  Sit  down, 
won't  you?  " 

He  pushed  the  chair  toward  her. 

Then,  a  great  deal  more  gentle  in  his  manner,  "  I  don't 
think  you  really  and  truly  care  for  me,  Hagar." 

She  turned  her  eyes  to  the  floor.  Within  her  was  a 
question  that  was  nearly  consuming  her.  She  was  asking 
herself  if  all  this  fight  on  her  part  was  not  futile  and 
foolish,  as  he  said  it  was.  Surely  he  did  care  for  her. 
How  kind  he  had  been  to  her.  And  how  he  was  begging 
her  now!  Wasn't  she  really  foolish  to  treat  him  so 
meanly  ? 

Greenfield  repeated  again  his  remark,  noticing  at  the 
same  time  that  she  was  no  longer  fighting  him. 

"  You  know  better  than  that,  Mr.  Greenfield,"  she  re- 
plied. "  I  do  care  about  you." 

"  Then,  why  do  we  fight  each  other  ?  " 

"  Why  —  I  don't  —  believe  —  I  want  to  fight  you?  Mr. 
Greenfield.  I  don't  mean  to." 

Greenfield  studied  her  face  with  evident  seriousness, 
at  last  saying,  "  You've  been  thinking  some  since  last 
night,  haven't  you,  Hagar." 


166  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Yes,  I  guess  I  have,  a  little." 

"  And  what  have  you  thought,  Hagar  ?  " 

She  lowered  her  lids  and  surprised  him  somewhat  by 
taking  hold  of  his  hand. 

"  What  have  you  thought,  Hagar  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know  —  what  I  think.  You  make  me 
feel  so  funny.  Sometimes  I'm  happy,  then  again,  I'm 
so  nervous  and  shaky  when  I'm  with  you,  I  don't  know 
what  to  do."  She  hesitated.  "  I  didn't  want  to  come 
to-night,  but  somehow  I  just  couldn't  help  it." 

Taking  hold  of  her  free  hand,  Greenfield  led  her  over 
to  a  wide  settee  chair. 

"  I'm  going  to  talk  to  you,  little  girl,"  he  began,  after 
they  were  both  seated.  "  And  I  don't  want  you  to  say 
a  word,  until  I'm  through.  I've  thought  about  this  thing 
a  long  time  —  a  good  many  months  I  should  say.  I  don't 
want  you  to  be  scared  at  what  I'm  going  to  tell  you, 
either.  You're  going  to  be  sensible,  and  so  am  I." 

He  lit  a  cigarette,  and  threw  the  burnt  match  into 
the  grate. 

"  Look  how  cosy  it  is  here.  Isn't  it  a  dandy  fire  ? 
You  like  big  coals  like  that,  burning  red,  don't  you?  It 
makes  the  room  happier.  Well,  you  can  have  all  this  sort 
of  thing  and  more,  if  you  will  just  be  wise  and  sensible. 
You  know  what  I  mean?  Well,  that  I  love  you,  and  if 
you  return  my  love  —  well,  I'll  give  you  any  old  thing. 
Now  don't  you  think  you'd  be  foolish  to  fight  off  forever 
the  way  you  do?  You  could  have  a  dandy  little  place  to 
live,  you  wouldn't  have  to  work  at  all  and  you  could  have 
all  the  good  clothes  you  felt  like.  Now  what  do  you 
say?" 

He  looked  at  her  intently.  "  Why,  Hagar,  you  could 
go  out  in  Central  Park  every  day  and  when  you  went 
shopping,  you'd  have  a  taxicab  waiting  for  you  instead 
of  the  subway.  That  would  do  you  a  lot  of  good,  too." 


Hagar  Revelly  167 

For  the  first  time  now,  he  saw  that  she  showed  signs 
of  fear.  The  color  had  left  her  face,  even  her  lips  looked 
pale. 

"What's  the  matter?"  he  asked.  "Are  you  ill,  Ha- 
gar? " 

She  replied,  "  No,  I  feel  all  right." 

"  You  don't  look  it."  He  paused  for  the  moment,  fear- 
ing that  he  was  pushing  matters  too  strongly.  Through 
his  mind  was  running  the  thought,  "  I'm  getting  her, 
I'm  getting  her." 

Hagar  remained  silent  for  a  long  time  and  only  the 
slow  rising  and  falling  of  her  breast,  like  the  uneasy  swell- 
ing of  the  sea,  betrayed  her  hidden  emotion. 

Gradually  had  come  over  her  a  new  understanding,  and 
it  seemed  very  suddenly  to  make  her  see  things  in  the  right 
light.  She  saw  that  she  might  wait  a  life-time  and  not  be 
loved  as  she  was  by  this  man.  Maybe  she  could  learn  to 
love  him  too.  Anyway  it  would  be  nice  to  have  a  home, 
and  be  a  real  woman,  with  a  real  husband.  Why  had  she 
not  thought  before  how  wonderful  that  would  be?  Sup- 
posing he  was  a  good  deal  older  than  she.  If  he  was 
younger  then  he  wouldn't  have  the  money  to  give  her  what 
she  wanted.  And  it  would  be  nice  to  have  all  the  clothes 
she  wanted. 

Continuing  her  reflections,  Hagar  asked  herself  if  she 
ought  not  feel  really  very  lucky  and  happy.  He  was 
quite  good  looking,  and  could  manage  everybody  so  well. 
She  had  seen  how  the  waiters  and  the  girls  at  the  store 
minded  him. 

Greenfield  perceived  that  she  was  deep  in  some  prob- 
lem, and  thought  it  was  the  right  time  now  to  reinforce 
his  argument. 

"  You  know  I  think  it  very  odd,"  he  said,  "  that  you 
should  hold  out  as  if  you  had  the  world  back  of  you,  when 
all  the  time  your  little  heart  and  body  is  starving  for- 


168  Hagar   Revelly 

good,  nice  things — things  like  fine  clothes,  good  food." 
He  waved  his  hand  restlessly.  "  Oh,  why  should  I  go  on. 
A  face  like  yours  should  have  only  one  kind  of  a  life. 
Really,  you  are  beautiful,  Hagar,  only  you're  not  among 
those  who  can  appreciate  you. 

"  Why,"  he  hesitated,  "  you  remind  me  of—  Now  he 
pondered  over  the  thought  for  a  full  minute,  finishing  up 
with  a  pointed  resemblance  that  had  suddenly  come  to  him 
between  Hagar  and  an  actress  for  whom  a  vast  theatre 
»  had  just  been  built.  "  She  got  on,"  he  continued,  gently 
patting  her  hand,  "Why  shouldn't  you?  Now  be  a  sen- 
sible girl." 

Greenfield  watched  her  to  see  the  effect  of  his  words. 
His  heart  was  beating  quickly,  and  as  he  saw  her  sitting 
there  so  pale  and  beautiful,  a  passionate  emotion  swept 
through  him  that  engulfed  all  the  little  subterfuges,  the 
plans  for  calm  persuasion.  Forgetting  himself  entirely, 
he  tremblingly  drew  her  close  to  him  and  held  her  tightly 
from  head  to  foot. 

"  God,  you're  beautiful,"  he  cried  hoarsely. 

For  a  moment  she  appeared  to  resist  him,  then  she  too 
seemed  to  lose  control  of  herself.  Her  body  lost  its 
rigidity,  becoming  lax  and  yielding,  her  small  arms  went 
about  his  neck,  the  while  he  felt  one  wave  of  emotion  after 
another  follow  in  close  succession  through  her  little 
body. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Greenfield,  I  don't  know  what  I'm  doing," 
she  cried.  "  You  must  help  me,  please,  please."  And  as 
if  she  were  ashamed  of  her  thoughts  she  buried  her  head 
in  his  arms. 

Gradually,  then,  fearing  that  she  would  go  back  into 
her  more  sane  self,  Greenfield  drew  her  gently,  even  deli- 
cately, to  the  near-by  alcove,  whispering  continuously 
into  her  ear,  "  Hagar,  my  darling,  I  love  you,  I  love  you, 
I  love  you." 


Hagar  He-velly  169 

She  stared  at  him,  her  face  dulled  by  the  fear  that 
was  sweeping  her  being. 

"  What  do  you  want  with  me?  "  she  asked. 

"Hagar,  girl — don't  you  understand?  I  love  you." 
Then  he  folded  her  arms  about  his  neck.  "  That's  it," 
he  said.  "  I  love  you." 

She  shrank  back  against  the  wall.  Her  heart  was 
pounding  unmercifully  and  she  felt  vaguely  a  ter- 
rible anguish  and  pain  that  comes  as  a  foreboding  of 
guilt. 

"  Why  do  you  pull  away  from  me?  "  he  asked. 

"  Oh,  you  frighten  me  terribly,"  she  whispered. 

He  took  hold  of  her  more  forcibly  now. 

"  Frighten  you  ?  Why,  Hagar,  I  don't  want  to  frighten 
you.  I  just  want  to  love  you.  I  just  want  you  to  love 
me." 

He  spoke  gently  again,  and  for  the  moment  his  soft 
words  allayed  her  fears.  She  trusted  him  to  draw  her 
nearer  again,  but  she  kept  saying,  "  Don't  hurt  me, — 
don't  hurt  me." 

It  was  when  Greenfield  felt  her  yielding  in  his  arms 
that  he  lost  control  again.  And  into  her  ears  now  he 
poured  the  hot  words  of  passion. 

"  Hagar,  do  you  know  what  you  mean  to  me?  Do  you 
see  how  I  have  gone  day  after  day,  thinking,  wanting, 
waiting  for  you?  Don't  you  see,  Hagar?"  He  was 
intoxicated  by  the  cataclysmic  enormity  of  the  under- 
standing that  racked  him.  Almost  brutally  he  forced  her 
close  to  him. 

"  Oh,  don't  come  near  me,"  she  begged,  "  please,  please 
— please — " 

"  Don't  be  scared  little  girl,"  he  whispered.  "  I'll  be 
gentle.  You'll  love  me  more." 

He  took  her  head  between  his  hands  and  drew  her  face 
to  his  lips.  "  Look  at  me,  dear.  You'll  love  me  more,  I  tell 


170  Hagar  Revelly 

you.  And  I'll  be  so  good  to  you,  you'll  see.  To-morrow 
I  want  you  to  go  down  to  Tiffany's  and  pick  out  some  lit- 
tle trinkets.  Now  don't  look  so  frightened  and  pull 
away  ..." 

She  opened  her  eyes,  seeming  somewhat  reassured  and 
quieted  by  the  affection  in  his  words. 

He  felt  less  anxious  too,  as  he  saw  her  become  more 
submissive  in  manner.  But  to  be  patient  was  hard  as,  in 
the  light  from  the  next  room,  he  saw  the  black  lustre  of 
her  hair  and  the  soft  transparency  of  her  face. 

Then  she  came  closer  to  him,  saying,  "  Well,  we  ought 
to  have  gotten  married  to-day,  anyway,  Mr.  Green- 
field." 

"  Gotten  married !  " 

"  Yes,  we  ought  to  have  thought  of  it,  because  some- 
how it  would  seem  more  right.  Will  we  get  married  to- 
morrow, then  ?  " 

The  question  came  to  him  with  all  the  emphatic  im- 
peachment he  knew  his  cunning  deserved. 

"  Why — dearie,"  he  answered,  "  we — are  not  going 
to  get  married !  " 

She  repeated  after  him,  too  startled,  too  stunned,  to 
even  understand: 

"  We  are  not  going  to  get  married !  " 

In  the  instant  her  position  burst  upon  her  with  all  its 
barren  truth,  and  now  instinct  took  the  place  of  experi- 
ence. 

"  You  mean,"  she  begged,  with  a  crying  appeal,  "  that 
you  didn't  mean  all  along  that  we  were  going  to  get 
married  ?  " 

The  man  beside  her  was  totally  unprepared  for  this 
strange  culmination  of  his  arduous  labors.  He  saw  the 
livid,  convulsed  face  of  the  child  with  a  disgust  that  was 
even  greater  than  his  desire. 

"  Why,  you — I  never   said   a   word   about   marrying, 


Hagar   Revelly  171 

dearie.  You  mean  to  tell  me  you  didn't  understand? 
Why,  I've  been  truthful  every  minute.  Other  men  might 
have  told  you  anything,  promised  anything  to  get 
you.  I've  been  fair.  Now,  for  God's  sake,  don't  make  a 
scene." 

But  she  tore  loose  from  his  renewed  grasp,  her  eyes 
dry,  her  voice  gasping.  All  thought  of  fear  had  fled, 
though  the  idea  that  nothing  would  come  of  the  dream 
that  had  nourished  her  for  months,  was  too  overwhelming 
to  realize. 

She  was  in  full  possession  of  her  senses  now — nearly 
calm  even,  in  her  resolve  to  fight  her  way  out  of  her  pre- 
dicament. 

"  What  are  you  going  to  do  ?  "  he  asked  rather  sav- 
agely, as  he  glared  at  her. 

"  I'm  going  home.     What  do  you  think  ?  " 

Instantly  all  the  common  animalism,  the  spirit  of  ra- 
venge  and  conquest  came  back  into  his  being,  throwing 
off  its  ordinary  manacle  of  calmness  and  tact.  He  re- 
alized what  he  was  losing,  how  fooled  he  had  been,  what 
his  builded  dreams,  his  plans,  his  desires,  all  his  invest- 
ment of  time  had  come  to.  He  saw  that  he  was  remaining 
pathetically  by,  while  this  child  was  getting  the  better 
of  him. 

Frenzied,  regardless  of  everything  but  his  own  desire, 
he  caught  hold  of  her. 

"  Why,  you  little  fool,"  he  twisted  her  wrists  painfully, 
"  do  you  mean  to  tell  me  that  you  never  understood  ? 
What  are  you,  a  baby  ?  You  know  I  couldn't  marry  you. 
There  are  a  hundred  reasons  for  that.  Why,  even  if  I 
wanted  to,  it  would  knock  my  business  in  the  head — 
what  would  everybody  say  if  I  picked  a  girl  from  back  of 
the  counter  and  married  her?  Of  course,  you  wouldn't 
understand  anything  like  that,  I  suppose,  looking  at  it 


172  Hagar  Revelly 

from  your  side.  But  I've  got  a  position  that  I've  got  to 
live  up  to,  in  my  private  life  as  well  as  in  my  business. 

"  Then  another  thing — I'm  too  old  for  that  game. 
And  I'm  not  so  sure  but  what  you  know  that.  Yes,  I 
guess  you  knew  it  all  along,  and  just  thought  you'd  have 
a  little  fun  teasing  me.  You  didn't  suppose  I  was  going 
to  spend  months  of  time  and  money,  give  up  everybody 
and  everything,  run  the  chance  of  it  getting  to  the  store, 
just  because  you'd  let  me  kiss  you  in  the  end,  did  you? 
I'm  not  a  school-boy,  Hagar." 

As  his  grasp  tightened,  Hagar  became  frantic. 

"  Let  me  loose,"  she  cried.    "  Let  me  go  or  I'll  scream." 

He  laughed  at  her,  saying: 

"  'Twill  do  you  a  lot  of  good." 

Then  he  backed  up  against  the  door,  drawing  her  with 
him,  his  nails  buried  deep  in  the  skin  of  her  arms.  His 
temper  seemed  to  have  arisen  again. 

"  You  can't  get  out  of  here  unless  I  let  you.  The 
door  is  locked.  Anyway,  what  kind  of  a  place  do  you 
think  this  is?" 

Waiting  for  her  answer,  only  an  instant,  he  went  on: 
"  Well,  I'll  tell  you.  I  don't  live  here.  I  only  rented 
these  rooms  for  the  night."  He  emphasized  each  word 
with  increased  pressure  of  his  nails.  He  was  angered 
now  and  all  his  baser  character,  roused  by  the  thwarting 
of  his  long  cherished  desire,  came  to  the  surface. 

*'  No,"  he  emphasized  again.  "  You  can't  go  until  I 
let  you." 

For  the  first  time,  Hagar  dared  to  look  at  him.  She 
studied  his  face  and  measured  his  power,  hunting  for  the 
truth  of  what  he  was  saying. 

But  this  strength  on  her  part  was  only  that  instant  of 
bravery  that  comes  before  despairing  weakness,  a  search 
for  some  method  of  making  him  have  compassion  on  her. 
At  the  moment  she  wondered  where  had  gone  those  soft 


Hagar  Revetty  173 

words,  his  goodness  to  her;  then  she  looked  at  the  bluish 
imprints  of  his  nails  on  her  arms,  and  great  beads  of 
tears  flocked  into  her  eyes  and  brimmed  over  to  her  cheeks. 

Greenfield  was  getting  more  and  more  excited.  He  saw 
her  eyes  search  the  room  in  their  absent  staring  way,  and 
thought  she  was  hunting  for  some  means  of  escape.  He 
determined  to  give  her  a  little  fight  before  he  would  let 
her  go. 

All  of  a  sudden  Hagar  fell  in  a  crushed  heap  on  the 
floor  at  his  feet. 

It  frightened  him.  He  stooped  over  her,  and  noticed 
that  her  breath  was  missing.  Her  face  was  white  as  the 
sheet  on  the  bed. 

This  was  another  unexpected  dilemma.  "  Damn  it  — " 
he  muttered  under  his  breath. 

Then,  as  she  seemed,  instead  of  regaining  consciousness, 
to  collapse  more  and  get  whiter,  he  ran  to  the  door,  and 
unlocked  it,  meaning  to  call  for  help.  Supposing  she 
should  die,  heart-failure  or  something,  and  he  was  caught 
in  this  room  with  her! 

He  became  bewildered  and  ran  back  into  the  bath- 
room, filled  two  glasses  with  cold  water  and  dashed  their 
contents  into  Hagar's  face. 

"  My  God,  little  girl,"  he  cried,  slapping  her  wrists 
and  shaking  her.  "  Wake  up,  wake  up,  for  God's  sake." 

When  she  opened  her  eyes  and  the  tint  stole  back  into 
her  skin,  he  felt  like  praying. 

"  You've  given  me  a  rotten  scare,  little  one,"  he  said, 
with  a  great  sigh  of  relief. 

Hagar  noticed  his  pale  face,  and  the  beads  of  perspira- 
tion standing  out  on  his  forehead.  Then  she  saw  herself 
a  crumpled  heap  on  the  floor.  She  looked  around  the 
room  distractedly. 

"  Oh,  what  has  happened  ?  "  she  begged. 

It  was  only  a  moment  before  she  realized  her  situation 


174  Hagar  Revelly 

and  began  to  sob  in  low,  tumultuous  tones  that  shook 
her  whole  body,  while  Greenfield  stooped  down  on  the 
floor  beside  her,  a  little  regretful  that  he  had  been  scared, 
now  that  she  had  so  easily  recovered  her  senses. 

At  that  moment  he  felt  a  little  distressed,  too,  that  he 
was  the  cause  of  her  miserableness.  He  said  gently: 
"  I'm  sorry  about  this,  little  girl.  Now  brace  up  and 
forgive  me.  I  guess  you  think  me  pretty  bad."  Lifting 
her  into  a  chair,  he  took  a  wet  towel  and  wiped  the  tears 
from  her  eyes  and  cheeks.  "  Honestly,  I'm  sorry,"  he 
went  on.  "  Now,  let's  dress  and  get  a  taxi  and  go  home." 

He  helped  her  put  on  her  waist  and  when  she  was  too 
weak  to  reach  around  to  her  collar,  he  buttoned  it  for  her. 
After  she  was  entirely  dressed,  he  walked  over  to  the 
mantel  and  rested  his  elbow  on  the  marble  shelf. 

"  Really,  I  didn't  know  that  you  never  understood  the 
whole  thing."  His  voice  had  gone  back  to  its  kindlier 
tones  again. 

"  You  were  so  mean  and  brutal,  I'll  never  forgive  you," 
Hagar  answered  weakly. 

Then  she  asked  him  for  her  coat.  He  handed  it  to 
her. 

Greenfield  wanted  to  get  her  away  quickly,  and  when 
she  found  her  shoes  were  still  unbuttoned,  and  she  could 
not  manage  them  with  a  hair  pin,  he  bent  over  and  fas- 
tened them  with  his  fingers. 

Hagar  thanked  him,  and  her  voice  showed  she  had  re- 
gained some  of  her  composure. 

He  said  to  her  now :  "  Well,  Hagar,  we  understand 
each  other,  at  any  rate.  I'm  your  friend  just  the  same. 
You  can  ask  anything  you  want  of  me,  and  always  feel 
you've  got  somebody  to  go  to,  if  you  ever  need  anybody. 

"  Whenever  you  want  to  come,"  he  continued,  "  I'll  fix 
up  a  little  flat  and  we'll  have  a  nice  time.  In  the  mean- 
time, I  know  I  can  trust  you.  Of  course,  it  would  go 


Hagar  Revelly  175 

pretty  hard  with  me,  if  you  ever  said  anything  at  the 
store.     I  can  trust  you,  can't  I?  "  he  asked  earnestly. 
Hagar  smiled  wearily.     "  Oh,  I  guess  so." 
He  went  out  into  the  hall,  and  at  the  telephone  ordered 
a  cab  for  her,  into  which  he  put  her  alone. 

It  seemed  only  a  minute  before  she  was  back  at  her 
boarding  house,  trudging  up  the  torn  carpet  of  the  stair- 
way to  her  room. 


CHAPTER  XV 

BENJAMIN  GREENFIELD  showed  his  temper  more  than  once 
during  the  next  few  days.  For  nearly  the  first  time  he 
was  mean  to  the  girls,  and  unkind  to  Miss  Gillespie.  And 
when  she  approached  him  on  some  point  of  business  and 
ventured  to  ask  at  the  same  time  what  he  was  doing  with 
Hagar,  he  went  into  a  terrible  rage,  and  told  her  she 
could  give  up  her  position,  if  it  did  not  suit  her. 

Since  Hagar  had  undertaken  her  position  as  guide, 
Miss  Gillespie  saw  very  little  of  her  and  now  that  Green- 
field talked  in  this  manner,  she  understood  his  designs 
upon  the  girl,  and  determined  to  watch  Hagar  more 
closely. 

Hagar,  on  her  side,  went  to  work  the  next  morning 
after  her  experience  with  Greenfield,  feeling  that  she  would 
not  dare  to  look  him  in  the  face.  A  deep  loathing  filled 
her,  a  hatred  that  made  her  want  to  strike  him.  Beset 
by  many  conflicting  emotions  all  morning,  her  greatest 
feeling  was  of  rebellion  against  him,  though  there  was 
still  something  else  in  her  understanding  that  dis- 
turbed her  even  more.  It  was  a  feeling,  that,  instead 
of  wanting  to  run  away  from  him,  she  desired  to  be  nearer 
to  him  and  learn  and  understand  and  gain  a  more  inti- 
mate knowledge  of  this  problem. 

This  feeling  astonished  her  a  great  deal,  for  she  knew 
she  hated  him,  and  was  sure,  too,  that  she  would  never 
give  in  to  him  or  his  temptations. 

Strangely  Hagar  did  not  seek  her  mother's  protection 
and  solace  during  these  days.  Since  she  felt  no  great  re- 
morse or  grief  at  what  she  had  passed  through,  nor  any 

176 


Hagar  Revelly  177 

need  for  advice,  it  seemed  foolish  to  worry  her  mother  — 
at  any  rate  for  the  present. 

Late  that  morning  she  met  Greenfield,  and  notwith- 
standing her  turbulent  thoughts,  forced  herself  to  give 
him  a  friendly  greeting.  When  he  said,  ''  You  are  feel- 
ing better  this  morning,  Miss  Revelly  ?  "  she  answered, 
"  Yes,  much  better,  thank  you." 

The  turn  in  her  affairs  came  during  the  following  week. 

Greenfield,  realizing  his  clumsy  failure,  began  an  en- 
tirely new  tack  in  his  sail  of  conquest,  deciding  to  leave 
her  alone  until  she  should  come  to  him  voluntarily.  And 
Hagar,  intuitively  sensing  this  intention  in  his  manner, 
oddly  enough  became  a  little  resentful. 

But  it  was  over  a  month  before  he  again  asked  her  if 
she  would  mind  lunching  with  him.  He  had  noticed 
the  changes  in  the  expression  of  her  face,  from  defiance  to 
placidity,  from  placidity  to  bewildered  irritation,  and 
then  finally  lonesomeness  and  resignation.  He  thought 
that  he  had  made  her  wait  the  proper  time  for  her  chas- 
tisement and  was  now  rather  sure  that  she  wanted  him,  at 
least  to  talk  to  her. 

At  any  rate  it  was  very  difficult  for  him  to  hold  out 
any  longer.  Hagar  had  surely  spoilt  all  other  women  for 
him.  He  could  not  lose  in  dreams  nor  by  day  the  appear- 
ance of  her  little  hands  and  face  and  ankles.  As  for 
Hagar,  she  had  really  been  lonesome.  Herrick,  whom  she 
saw  often  again,  and  Miss  Gillespie  who  stole  into  her 
room  at  night  and  divided  time  between  lectures  and 
warnings,  failed  to  satisfy  her.  One  had  become  rather 
affectionate,  which  somehow  disturbed  her,  while  the  other, 
the  woman,  lectured  too  much  and  painted  so  many  ter- 
rible pictures  of  suffering  and  sadness,  as  to  be  merely 
depressing  and  tiresome. 

So  she  told  Greenfield  she  would  go,  and,  slipped  into 
the  ladies'  dressing  room  on  the  second  floor  just  before 


178  Hagar  Revelly 

meeting  him,  to  fix  herself  so  that  she  looked  as  nice  as 
possible.  She  felt  exultant  and  happy  again.  Yet,  to 
herself,  while  she  studied  her  reflection  and  primped  her 
hair,  she  told  herself  that  she  would  go  with  him  only 
to  try  to  make  him  understand  that  he  could  be  such  a 
nice  friend  in  a  different  way  if  he  wanted  to,  and  that 
it  was  not  right  for  him  to  put  himself  on  a  level  with 
the  other  men  she  had  told  him  about. 

"  I  wonder,"  she  said,  as  she  tied  the  veil  on  the  back 
of  her  hat,  "  if  I  can  make  him  see  it." 

Conscious  of  a  certain  intimacy  with  him  that  made 
her  feel  nearer  to  him  than  to  anyone  else,  Hagar  was 
strangely  excited,  though  at  the  same  time  aware  that  it 
was  wrong  indeed  that  their  relationship  should  have 
started  upon  such  a  terrible  basis. 

Greenfield  met  her  at  the  corner  and  as  they  crossed 
Sixth  Avenue,  Hagar  was  filled  with  determination.  She 
even  let  him  have  an  inkling  of  this  in  her  manner  towards 
him,  though  he,  with  not  unnatural  egotism,  only  took  it 
for  a  submissive  consent,  and  was  inwardly  pleased. 

"  I've  been  thinking  so  much  about  everything,"  he 
told  her,  as  they  crossed  the  street.  "  Yes,  I've  been 
thinking  a  good  deal."  Then  he  said  very  suddenly, 
"  You  do  love  to  do  startling  things,  don't  you,  Hagar?  " 

"  Do  you  think  so  ?  "  she  replied,  rather  more  sweetly 
than  she  desired.  As  a  reassurance  she  told  herself  that 
she  would  not  start  giving  him  the  new  understanding 
until  they  reached  the  restaurant. 

Greenfield  was  happy  to  find  no  resistance  on  her  part 
at  his  opening  wedge. 

"  Yes,  you  act  the  way  you  think  one  should  act  who 
is  young  and  beautiful,  and  then,  when  it  is  all  over,  you 
wonder  why  you  didn't  act  the  way  you  wanted  to.  Am  I 
not  right?" 

"  You  are  very  —  discerning,"  she  said,  looking  up  at 


Hagar  Revelly  179 

him  under  her  long  lashes,  and  using,  for  perhaps  the 
first  time  in  her  life,  a  word  she  had  heard  used  only  a  day 
before  by  a  lady  shopper. 

As  they  walked  along  Broadway,  Greenfield  thought 
she  was  never  so  beautiful  as  now.  He  told  her  this  and 
ended  by  saying,  just  as  they  entered  a  large  restaurant 
on  Eighteenth  Street,  that  he  was  making  a  bigger  fool 
of  himself  over  her,  than  he  had  thought  possible. 

"  Here  I  am  coming  back  to  you,"  he  said.  "  I  cer- 
tainly didn't  think  I  could." 

Hagar  did  not  answer  him,  deciding  that  as  soon  as 
they  sat  down  she  would  tell  him  what  was  really  in  her 
mind. 

They  passed  between  long  rows  of  tables,  full  of  men 
and  women,  and  when  they  found  their  seats,  her  usually 
pale  cheeks  were  colored  by  a  delicate  tinge  of  red.  It 
was  only  the  old  sign  of  a  certain  embarrassment  that 
overcame  her  whenever  she  entered  a  public  place.  But 
Greenfield  took  her  blushes  to  himself  and  was  proud. 

As  Hagar  waited  for  their  lunch,  putting  off  from 
minute  to  minute  her  desire  to  upbraid  Greenfield,  she 
looked  about  the  crowded  room,  and  noticed  a  rather 
stoutish  man  with  red  face  and  plaid  waistcoat,  seat  him- 
self at  a  table,  where  sat  alone,  two  women. 

The  man  spoke  rather  gruffly  to  them,  and  as  she  ob- 
served, Hagar  thought  they  showed  some  resentment. 
One  of  the  women  wore  a  large,  feathery  hat  that  came 
far  down  over  her  eyes.  To  her  the  man  directed  his  at- 
tention and  the  closeness  of  their  table  made  it  easy  for 
Hagar  to  hear  their  words. 

Said  the  man,  "  I've  seen  you  before.  You  were  at 
No.  —  Seventh  Ave.  last  fall,  weren't  you?  " 

The  blonde  woman  smiled,  and  answered,  "  Yes,  but 
now  I  am  at  —  Then  their  talk  became  lower  and 
Hagar  turned  to  Greenfield. 


180  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Did  you  see  what  that  man  did  ?  "  she  exclaimed.  "  I 
don't  believe  he  even  knew  her." 

"  Oh,  yes,  he  did,"  Greenfield  remarked,  airily.  "  They 
were  only  playing.  They  knew  you  were  listening.  He 
is  probably  her  lover." 

Then  Greenfield  said  that  they  must  get  to  their  meal, 
or  they  wouldn't  have  any  time  to  talk  before  her  hour 
was  over. 

They  ate  in  silence  for  some  time,  when  presently 
Greenfield,  in  soft  low  tones,  interspersed  by  an  occa- 
sional gentle  touch  of  Hagar's  forearm,  or  hand,  told  her 
how  he  was  unable  to  think  of  anyone  else,  and  how  he 
had  missed  her,  so  that  he  could  not  hold  out  any  longer. 
He  belittled  himself  as  he  went  on  talking,  told  her  ear- 
nestly, how  silly  it  was,  after  all,  that  a  man  his  age  should 
think  that  a  girl  of  her  youth  and  beauty  could  care  for 
him. 

His  mind,  planning,  and  full  of  the  decadent  symphony 
that  rang  everlastingly  in  his  being,  now  opened  into 
more  scheming  channels.  He  gained  courage  and  tact,  as 
he  saw  her  eyes  soften,  and  as  he  went  on,  Hagar  really 
became  less  rebellious,  more  of  a  receptacle  for  his 
words. 

When  he  spoke  sadly  of  his  age,  saying  that  he  should 
be  a  father  to  her  instead  of  a  man  in  love,  she  actually 
felt  sorry. 

"  Of  course,  I  know  what  you  think  of  me,"  he  went  on. 
"  You  imagine  that  I'm  playing  with  you  for  a  little 
amusement.  But  I  ask  you,  why  then  do  I  not  play  with 
the  others?  Oh,  I  know  a  face  and  I  trust  you  with 
everything.  And  I  say  it  openly  to  you.  I'm  in  love 
with  you,  Hagar.  That's  it  in  a  nutshell.  I  have  been 
ever  since  you  came  into  the  store  that  first  day." 

His  hand  was  over  her  fingers,  and  she  did  not  draw 
them  away. 


Hagar  Revelly  181 

There  was  in  the  mind  of  Greenfield  one  great  joyous 
realization.  It  was  that  he  had  quite  suddenly  stumbled 
onto  the  fact  that  the  predominant  note  in  Hagar's 
make-up  was  an  abnormal  amount  of  sympathy.  He  saw 
that  he  might  never  have  thought  of  it,  he  even  wonderecj 
how  he  had  come  to  find  it  out. 

It  was  three  minutes  past  one  o'clock  when  Hagar 
pushed  the  button  on  the  big  register  clock  at  the  store. 
She  went  alone,  as  Greenfield  had  thought  it  best  for  them 
not  to  be  seen  entering  together. 

And  not  until  closing  time  that  afternoon  did  Hagar 
suddenly  realize  she  had  forgotten  entirely  her  resolve 
to  go  to  lunch  with  him  only  that  she  might  have  the 
chance  to  let  him  understand  what  she  thought,  and  how 
she  was  determined  to  fight  out  the  battle  to  be  a  good 
woman.  Instead  she  saw  that  she  had  a  new  kind  of 
understanding  of  him,  felt  a  sympathy  for  him  which  his 
word  on  parting,  "  Please,  don't  be  sorry  for  me,"  did 
not  alter. 

In  the  days  that  followed  Greenfield  was  even  more 
kind  to  her,  and  gradually  she  found  again  a  good  deal 
of  happiness  in  being  with  him.  She  spent  much  time 
in  thinking  about  their  new  relationship,  and  before  very 
long  she  came  to  feel  that  although  Greenfield  would  not 
word  it,  he  was  beginning  to  see  things  in  the  way  she 
wanted. 

After  work  one  evening,  Hagar  in  an  impulse  took  the 
ferry  across  to  Hoboken.  It  seemed  somewhat  of  a  jaunt 
to  go  across  the  dark  water  all  alone,  though  the  feeling 
that  really  impelled  her  was  the  desire  to  get  some  place 
away  from  people,  where  she  could  think  about  the  prob- 
lem that  troubled  her. 

Taking  a  place  on  the  upper  deck  where  she  could  lean 
against  the  railing  and  watch  the  towers  of  New  York 
grow  dim  in  the  settling  dusk,  she  felt  as  if  she  were  some 


182  Hagar  Revelly 

adventurer  going  on  a  journey  of  exploration.  Once  she 
thought  she  could  see  the  outlines  of  Rheinchild's  electric 
sign,  but  it  melted  into  the  night  as  the  boat  burrowed 
onward. 

But  the  trip  offered  little  solace  to  her  mood.  Looking 
over  the  city  Hagar  realized  how  small  a  part  she  played 
in  the  great  conglomerate  mass.  She  felt  so  insignificant, 
her  work  seemed  so  futile.  As  she  thought,  she  remem- 
bered what  Greenfield  had  said  to  her  when  she  told  him  of 
her  proposed  trip. 

"  Yes,  go  over,"  he  said,  "  and  don't  forget  to  think  of 
yourself,  as  you  stand  by  the  deck-rail  and  see  New  York 
fade  away." 

At  that  moment  she  wondered  if  he  knew  how  lonely  this 
would  make  her  feel. 

Looking  at  the  black,  purplish  outlines  in  the  haze,  she 
asked  herself  if  he  was  not  right  after  all.  Of  what  use 
was  it  to  struggle.  One  only  lived  once,  and  life  was  the 
way  you  made  it. 

She  said  this  over  to  herself  many  times,  before  the  boat 
went  into  its  slip,  and  each  time  found  herself  trembling 
and  hesitating.  Yes,  she  was  nothing,  no  more  than  a  fly, 
in  the  big  city.  And  yet,  if  she  didn't  work  she  couldn't 
live.  Life  seemed  hard,  especially  if  one  got  so  little  fun 
out  of  living.  She  wondered  why  so  many  people  wanted 
to  live,  why  men  who  were  brave  and  strong  didn't  kill 
themselves. 

Standing  there  in  the  cold  air  of  the  bay,  Hagar  counted 
on  her  fingers  how  many  years  it  would  take  her  to  save 
five  hundred  dollars,  and  found  herself  quite  sobbing  aloud 
when  she  had  reached  three  hundred,  for  then  she  would  be 
twenty-two,  nearly  an  old  woman. 

When  the  boat  made  a  wide  turn  at  the  dock,  she  looked 
down  into  the  eddying  foamy  wake,  which  appeared  like  a 
path  of  bubbling  ice  cream,  and  thought  of  herself  as 


Hagar  Revelly  188 

being  one  of  the  cold,  white  bubbles,  and  of  the  bay,  and 
the  ocean  and  all  that  it  led  into,  as  being  the  world. 

"  That's  what  I  amount  to,  I  guess,"  she  said  to  herself 
several  times.  "  I'm  just  one  of  those  bubbles." 

It  was  a  strange  idea,  but  it  seemed  so  truthful,  as  she 
stood  looking  down  into  the  water,  that  she  gave  a  little 
gasp  and  turned  away,  trying  hard  to  think  of  other 
things. 

Greenfield  came  to  her  mind  again.  And  now,  strangely, 
a  feeling  of  satisfaction  shot  through  her,  when  she 
realized  that  she  had  some  one  like  him  to  turn  to. 

This  was  really  about  all  her  trip  had  accomplished,  for 
when  she  returned  to  the  city  and  took  the  subway  up- 
town, she  felt  even  more  lonesome  than  ever. 

A  week  later,  an  incident  served  to  show  her  that  Green- 
field was  no  worse  than  other  men.  This  came  about  at 
an  interview  with  the  store  physician,  a  man  whom  she  had 
always  respected  because  of  his  dignified  bearing. 

For  many  days  she  had  noticed  a  steady  pain  along  the 
calves  of  both  her  legs.  On  arising  in  the  morning  she 
was  quite  relieved  of  this  drawing,  incessant  ache,  but  at 
about  ten  o'clock  the  pain  would  come  slowly  back  again. 
It  seemed  to  start  at  her  ankles  and  to  extend  all  the  way 
up  to  the  back  of  her  thighs.  The  muscles  of  the  calves 
troubled  her  the  most,  and  she  noticed  that  they  were  hard 
and  sore  to  the  touch. 

One  morning  when  the  aching  became  quite  intolerable, 
and  one  of  the  girls,  a  little  thin  thing  with  chalky  skin, 
had  told  her  at  the  lunch  hour  about  a  disease  that  made 
the  flesh  turn  to  bone,  she  decided  to  seek  medical  advice. 
An  hour  later  she  was  seated  in  the  physician's  little  office 
telling  him  how  she  was  troubled  and  that  she  feared  this 
terrible  disease. 

The  doctor  laughed  and  bared  her  foot  and  leg.  Then 
after  searching  the  limb  for  a  possible  cause,  he  looked  at 


184  Hagar  Revelly 

her  foot,  while  Hagar  felt  sure,  because  of  his  mysterious 
manner,  some  awful  doom  was  about  to  be  pronounced. 

"  You've  got  to  wear  a  brace,"  he  said.  "  Your  arch 
is  giving  away.  Lots  of  the  girls  have  the  same  trouble. 
I'll  write  a  little  note  for  you  to  the  firm  that  makes  them. 
It's  a  steel  piece,  covered  with  leather,  that  fits  into  the 
shoe." 

Then  he  gave  the  white  skin  of  her  foot  an  affectionate 
pinch,  adding: 

"  You're  too  pretty  a  piece  of  machinery  to  stand  up 
all  day,  anyway.  Your  foot  was  built  to  ride  in  auto- 
mobiles. Tell  Mr.  Greenfield  that  I  prescribe  one 
limousine  for  you." 

He  looked  at  her  very  queerly,  and  when  he  said  suid- 
denly  that  she  must  come  back  to-morrow  "  so  that  they 
might  have  more  time  together,"  she  felt  somewhat 
scared. 

That  night  Hagar  visited  Miss  Gillespie  and  told  her 
about  the  malady.  It  was  the  first  time  she  had  seen  Miss 
Gillespie  for  nearly  a  week,  and  she  thought  the  woman 
looked  a  little  paler  than  usual.  Miss  Gillespie  evidently 
noticed  Hagar's  close  scrutiny  and  said,  with  an  effort  at 
light-heartedness,  "  No,  Hagar,  not  drink  this  time.  I'm 
worried  about  you." 

"  About  me,  Miss  Gillespie?  " 

"Yes,  dearie,  I  don't  care  enough  to  be  worried  about 
myself." 

The  woman  placed  herself  comfortably  at  the  foot  of 
the  bed  and  after  asking  the  surprised  Hagar  to  sit  down, 
continued :  "  Yes,  dear  child,  I've  been  watching  you, 
and  my  dear  friend,  Ben  Greenfiejd."  Then  she  asked  in 
rather  curious  fashion,  "  What  is  he  doing  with  you, 
Hagar?  " 

A  few  weeks  before,  Hagar  would  have  told  the  woman 
everything,  had  she  asked  itl  But  now,  she  felt  that  when 


Hagar  Revelly  185 

Greenfield  had  folded  her  in  his  arms,  there  was  placed  in 
her  a  confidence  and  an  obligation  that  was  sacred. 
Then,  Greenfield  had,  at  their  last  meeting,  made  her 
promise  that  she  would  not  tell. 

"  Why  don't  you  answer  me?  "  Miss  Gillespie  asked. 

"  Oh,  why,  there  isn't  anything  to  answer."  Somehow 
at  this  moment  she  was  thinking  how  lonesome  Greenfield 
must  be  in  his  room,  alone. 

"  Has  he  ever  taken  you  out  in  the  evenings  ?  " 

Hagar  hesitated. 

'*  Yes,  a  few  times." 

"  Where  did  you  go  ?  " 

"  Oh,  why  —  we  went  to  some  of  the  restaurants." 

"  No  other  places  ?  " 

This  questioning  roused  ire  in  the  childish  Hagar. 
What  right  did  this  woman  have  to  question  her  so?  She 
was  capable  of  taking  care  of  herself.  It  was  always  the 
same,  everyone  wanted  to  boss  her  about.  Why  couldn't 
they  leave  her  alone? 

And  she  said  angrily :  •  "  I  can't  see  why  it  should  in- 
terest you,  Miss  Gillespie." 

The  woman  looked  at  Hagar  with  an  odd,  searching 
glance  which  was  full  of  soft  humor  and  understanding. 

"  Please,  dearie,"  she  said,  "  don't  get  angry  with  me. 
It  is  only  for  your  own  good  that  I  talk  in  this  way.  You 
don't  suppose  I  would  if  I  didn't  care  for  you,  do  you?  " 
Her  tones  were  a  little  harder  now.  "  Yes,  I  am  fond  of 
you,  and  I  mean  to  watch  you.  I  know  Ben  Greenfield 
and  all  about  his  life  on  the  '  Gay  White  Way,'  though 
I  must  confess  I  never  thought  he  would  pick  on  my  poor 
little  Hagar." 

"  Who  said  he  has  picked  on  me?  " 

Miss  Gillespie  laughed.  "  Why  you,  dear,  just  now  — 
when  you  got  angry  at  my  question.  Oh,  I  know  Green- 
field, he's  really  pretty  clever,  makes  a  woman  feel  sorry 


186  Hagar  Revelly 

for  his  hard  luck,  works  the  sympathy  racket.  Oh,  I 
know  him,  Hagar." 

"  But  I  haven't  told  you  anything,"  blurted  out  Hagar, 
with  an  unconscious  desire  to  prove  to  herself  that  she  had 
not  given  away  his  confidence. 

"  Yes,  you  have.  You  tried  to  protect  him.  That 
answers  my  question."  Miss  Gillespie  drew  her  feet  upon 
the  bed,  as  if  to  make  herself  more  comfortable.  Then  she 
said,  rather  kindly,  "  Now  tell  me,  Hagar,  where  did  he 
take  you  ?  " 

Hagar  rose  from  her  seat  in  the  rocker.  Her  young, 
soft  face  was  flushed  and  her  little  hands  were  clutched 
angrily  together. 

"  I  tell  you,  Miss  Gillespie,  you  shouldn't  talk  that  way 
of  him.  He  is  very  fond  of  me  —  and  —  well,  if  you 
want  to  know  it,  he  would  marry  me  if  I  wanted  to.  Now 
we  won't  talk  about  it  any  more."  She  stopped  for  a 
moment  and  then  went  on  impulsively,  "  I  don't  see  what 
it  brings  to  be  so  darn  good,  anyway.  You  lecture  to  me 
because  you  didn't  manage  right,  and  got  the  worst  of  it. 
Why  you  lost  out,  and  now  you're  only  grouchy  about  it. 
That's  all.  And  then  I've  been  thinking  about  something 
else,  too." 

"  What  is  it,  Hagar?  " 

"  Well,  I've  been  thinking  about  people  that  are  good 
looking.  For  instance,  you  know  that  you're  not  good 
looking  and  I'm  beginning  to  find  out  that  that's  about 
all  there  is  in  this  world.  Everybody  tries  to  make  it 
easy  for  you  if  you've  got  the  looks.  I  know  I'm  —  well, 
not  bad  looking,  and  why  should  I  make  it  just  as  hard 
for  myself  as  it  is  for  those  who  haven't  got  the  looks. 
You  know  what  I'm  trying  to  say.  Honestly,  I'm  getting 
tired  of  being  like  everyone  else.  And  then  everybody 
makes  it  so  hard  for  me,  just  because  I  try.  I  don't  see 
why  I  do  try.  It  would  certainly  be  a  whole  lot  easier  for 


Hagar  Revelly  187 

me  if  I  didn't.  Oh,  you  don't  know.  Even  to-day  the 
doctor  at  the  store  said  something  about  it.  Why,  I 
could  have  a  dozen  dates  for  the  theatre  and  dinner,  if  I 
wanted  to.  And  I  know  some  of  the  girls  in  the  store 
would  be  glad  to  take  just  one  of  them." 

Miss  Gillespie  studied  the  serious  little  face  for  a  long 
time  before  she  spoke.  "  Poor,  foolish  Hagar,"  she  mur- 
mured to  herself.  Then  she  changed  the  conversation  to 
other  things,  knowing  that  Hagar's  impulsive  nature 
might  lead  them  into  some  argument  that  would  make 
trouble  between  them. 

As  Miss  Gillespie  fell  into  a  more  reminiscent  mood, 
Hagar  lost  some  of  her  seriousness  —  the  woman  was 
always  interesting  when  she  talked  of  herself. 

After  some  time,  which  Miss  Gillespie  purposely  let  pass^ 
for  the  belligerent  Hagar  to  become  more  composed, 
she  began  to  tell  of  a  love  affair  when  about  Hagar's 
age. 

"  It  was  when  I  was  eighteen,  at  a  little  summer  resort 
over  in  New  Jersey,"  she  said,  adding  that  she  had  not 
always  had  to  work  in  a  department  store. 

"  I  know,"  assented  Hagar,  vaguely  urging  her  to  go 
on. 

The  woman  continued:  "And  every  year  we  used  to 
go  down  to  this  place,  one  of  those  typical  summer  hotels. 
You  know  the  kind  of  place  —  everyone  sitting  on  the  ve- 
randah and  telling  each  other  that  they'd  dare  do  any- 
thing, because  one  is  never  serious  in  summer. 

"  Well,  there  weren't  so  many  people  at  the  hotel  because 
it  wasn't  very  well  known.  So  I  was  a  sort  of  belle  there, 
though  it  was  not  much  of  a  game,  on  account  of  the  men. 
There  were  only  three  that  weren't  married.  Think  of  it, 
two  old  fools  and  a  young  boy  of  about  fifteen,  a  good- 
looking  little  fellow  who  was  going  to  some  prep,  school 
in  the  East.  He  had  blonde,  curly  hair  and  soft  cheeks, 


188  Hagar  Revelly 

one  of  those  sincere  little  chaps  that  you  could  tell  any- 
thing to  and  they'd  believe  it.  You  know  the  kind?  " 

"  Sure." 

"  Well,  I  picked  him  out  to  play  around  with.  I  needed 
somebody  and  I  really  liked  the  little  fellow,  anyway.  He 
was  easy,  and  comfortable,  although  all  the  front  porch 
brigade  gave  me  the  devil  for  letting  a  little  fellow  like 
that  fall  in  love  with  me." 

"  Did  he  fall  in  love  with  you  ?  "  interrupted  Hagar. 

"  Yes,  he  fell  in  love  with  me,  wrote  notes,  two  and  three 
times  a  day,  spent  every  cent  he  could  get  his  hands  on  to 
buy  me  flowers. 

"  It  lasted  that  way  for  weeks.  Then  came  the  parting 
time,  and  the  hard  part.  He  had  to  go  back  to  school. 
The  last  few  nights  it  was  pitiful  to  see  the  way  he  acted. 
He  went  around  sad,  wouldn't  speak  to  his  mother  even, 
poor  little  fellow. 

"  He  was  in  love  with  me  like  a  man  of  thirty.  And  I 
had  been  playing  with  him,  thinking  that  he  would  under- 
stand. But  he  didn't.  Somehow  I  guess,  an  older  woman 
always  attracts  the  younger  men,  but  she  always  gets  paid 
back.  She  may  do  it  until  she's  twenty  or  so,  and  then 
the  table  changes.  Well,  back  to  my  story.  I  saw  that 
my  duty  lay  plainly  in  front  of  me,  Hagar.  He  must  be 
made  to  see  that  I  had  only  been  fooling  with  him,  had 
only  been  using  him  as  a  little  summer  flirtation. 

"  And  then  the  mother  came  to  me  and  begged  that  I 
talk  plainly  to  Harold  and  tell  him  how  foolish  he  was.  I 
didn't  do  that,  but  I  did  hit  upon  a  great  scheme.  I  saw 
it  wouldn't  be  right  to  flat-footedly  tell  him  that  I  didn't 
care  for  him,  I  had  been  playing  the  game  too  strong  for 
that.  At  least,  I  didn't  have  the  heart  to  do  it.  I 
decided,  rather,  that  I  would  make  him  fall  out  of  love 
with  me  —  what  I  call  a  woman's  prerogative  —  maybe 
that's  not  the  right  way  to  use  it. 


Hagar  Revelly  189 

"  Anyway,  I  went  ahead  with  my  plans.  I've  thought 
about  it  a  good  many  times  since  then.  And  I  guess  I've 
regretted  that  boy  affair,  about  as  much  as  anything  I 
ever  did.  He's  married  now,  living  in  California  some 
place,  got  three  children  and  is  pretty  rich." 

"  That's  a  shame,"  interrupted  Hagar. 

"  Well,  they  had  a  dance,  and  I  decided  to  work  my 
plan. 

"  I  knew  how  he  had  talked  about  a  certain  woman  who 
had  come  up  from  the  city  on  a  Sunday  excursion.  She 
was  all  painted  and  frou-froued,  and  everyone  in  the  hotel 
ignored  her. 

"  So,  knowing  his  dislikes,  I  rouged  my  cheeks  until 
they  looked  like  red  apples,  and  then  went  downstairs  to 
the  dance. 

"  He  was  standing  in  the  doorway  waiting  for  me. 

"  *  Hello,  Harold,'  I  said,  rather  coldly,  and  then  went 
in  and  had  a  dance  with  one  of  the  old  roues  whom  he 
thought  I  disliked." 

"Did  he  like  that?" 

"  You  should  have  seen  him.  At  first  he  glared  at  me, 
and  when  he  saw  me  sit  out  the  next  dance  with  the  same 
old  sport,  I  thought  he'd  murder  me  with  his  eyes.  Well, 
he  disappeared  and  I  saw  him  no  more  until  the  next  morn- 
ing. They  told  me  he  had  gone  into  the  bar  and  bought 
a  pint  of  whiskey,  telling  them  it  was  for  his  mother,  and 
then  had  drank  nearly  all  of  it.  And  they  said  that  when 
the  whiskey  had  taken  effect,  he  swore  and  cursed  me,  until 
he  became  so  maudlin,  they  had  to  carry  him  upstairs  to 
his  bed." 

Miss  Gillespie  paused.  "  Now  what  do  you  think  his 
words  were  as  he  greeted  his  mother? "  she  asked  of 
Hagar. 

"  I  can't  imagine,"  said  Hagar,  rather  excited. 

"  Well,  they  had  no  sooner  thrown  open  the  door  and  he 


190  'Hagar  Revelly 

saw  his  mother  there,  than  he  cried  out,  so  that  they  could 
hear  him  all  over  the  house :  '  Mother,  my  God,  she's 
painted,  she's  painted,  mother.'  " 

"  How  funny,"  Hagar  whispered. 

"  That  was  a  lesson  for  me,  Hagar,"  Miss  Gillespie 
went  on.  "  I  made  him  suffer  and  I  felt  so  ashamed  after- 
wards, I  would  have  done  anything  for  him.  And  that's 
what  would  happen  if  you  went  out  thoughtlessly.  You 
can't  do  it.  Well,  they  took  him  away  the  next  morning. 
You  see,  I  was  his  ideal." 

"  I  should  think  you  would  have  felt  very  badly  about 
it,"  murmured  Hagar,  as  the  woman  finished  her  story. 

"  Yes,  I  suffered  the  same  way  when  I  lost  my  ideal,  so 
I  have  no  quarrel  with  God  about  it." 

Miss  Gillespie  left  that  night  with  a  word  of  warning. 

A  few  nights  later,  Herrick  called  Hagar  on  the  tele- 
phone. His  call  was  announced  to  her  just  as  Miss  Gilles- 
pie was  leaving  her  room,  and  it  pleased  her  to  have  Miss 
Gillespie  know  that  Greenfield  was  not  taking  up  all  of 
her  time.  She  was  pleased,  too,  because  Greenfield,  having 
been  called  to  Baltimore  on  some  business,  Herrick's  visit 
would  break  her  spell  of  loneliness. 

When  Hagar  came  back  into  the  room,  her  face  happy 
and  smiling,  Miss  Gillespie  asked  for  the  cause  of  it. 

"  Who  do  you  think  is  coming?  " 

"  I  can't  imagine,"  replied  the  woman. 

"  You'd  never  guess." 

Miss  Gillespie  took  one  long  chance.     "  Herrick?  " 

"  Now  what  do  you  think  of  that  ?  "  exclaimed  Hagar. 
"  How  did  you  know  ?  " 

"  I  didn't  know  who  else  it  could  be,  except  Greenfield, 
and  I  know  he  is  out  of  town." 

"  Yes,  it's  Herrick.     Do  you  like  him?  "  asked  Hagar. 

"  Yes,  I  do,  from  the  one  time  I  saw  him,"  said  Miss 
Gillespie.  "  He's  clean  cut  and  decent  looking," 


Hagar  Revelly  191 

Herrick  took  Hagar  to  one  of  the  big  dance  halls  in 
Harlem  that  night.  He  told  her  he  had  been  working 
hard  for  over  a  week  and  wanted  to  "  celebrate."  Feeling 
that  she  had  neglected  him,  Hagar  readily  fell  in  with  his 
wish.  Not  having  seen  him  for  a  few  weeks,  she  now 
learned  that  he  had  been  planning  to  leave  her  mother's 
house  for  some  time,  and  that  only  the  day  before,  he  had 
taken  a  much  larger  room,  with  a  bath  attached,  on  One 
Hundred  and  Sixteenth  Street. 

"  I  think  it  will  make  it  easier  to  see  you,  Hagar,"  he 
told  her.  "  Somehow  I  always  felt  that  I  must  account 
to  your  mother  whenever  I  left  you  and  went  home." 

As  they  went  down  the  steps  of  the  Elevated,  Hagar 
thought  him  better  looking  than  formerly.  He  had  on  a 
high  folded  collar,  of  which  the  points  came  close  together 
in  front,  and  his  hair  was  brushed  back  sleek.  It  changed 
his  appearance  a  good  deal. 

"  I've  wanted  to  see  you  for  three  weeks,"  he  said,  when 
they  had  found  their  seat.  "  Why  haven't  you  been  home 
when  I  called?  " 

"  I've  been  so  busy." 

"  Busy?  You  little  devil,  I'll  bet  you've  been  leading 
some  fellow  a  merry  chase." 

"  You  think  you  are  discerning,  Mr.  Herrick,  don't 
you  ?  "  she  answered.  "  Well,  you're  wrong.  My  new 
job  tires  me  out  so,  and  then,  I  haven't  wanted  to  see 
anyone,  anyway." 

"  You  don't  appreciate  me,  Hagar." 

"  What  do  you  want  ?  " 

"  Oh,  be  kind  to  me." 

"  You  think  you  need  it  ?  " 

Her  question  came  roguishly,  but  at  that  moment  she 
happened  to  look  into  his  face  and  saw  that  he  was  down- 
cast and  sad.  More  kindly  she  said: 

"Why,  what's  the  matter,  Mr.  Herrick?" 


Hagar  Revelly 

He  took  her  hand  gently.  "  Well,  in  the  first  place, 
we've  known  each  other  long  enough  for  you  to  always 
call  me  Frank,  and  in  the  second  place,  just  —  just  real- 
ize that  I  am  crazy  about  you." 

"  Now  don't  be  foolish." 

She  pulled  away,  but  he  squeezed  her  hand  more  tightly, 
and  after  a  time,  she  offered  little  resistance.  No  one 
in  the  car  could  see,  for  with  some  forethought,  he  had 
bought  a  newspaper. 

In  the  quarter  of  an  hour  that  it  took  them  to  reach  the 
dance  hall  from  the  Elevated  station,  he  talked  more  of 
himself  than  in  all  their  previous  meetings. 

Hagar  realized,  quite  suddenly,  that  it  was  a  comrade, 
a  playmate,  that  she  was  needing,  that  she  had  needed  all 
along ;  some  one  to  be  gay  with  and  frolicsome,  where  the 
relationship  was  not  serious,  and  where  there  was  never 
talk  about  the  terrible  things,  such  as  Greenfield  had 
always  on  his  tongue. 

Hagar  thought  about  this  as  they  walked  on,  and  only 
once,  when  Herrick  noticed  her  quietness  and  squeezed  her 
arm  and  just  for  the  pleasure  of  seeing  him  pout,  she 
lectured  him,  was  her  mind  taken  away  from  this  thought. 

It  seemed  to  her  now  that  she  had  done  a  terrible  thing 
in  spending  such  a  long  time  with  Greenfield,  with  his 
worrying  talk  and  unhappy  plans.  With  him,  it  had 
always  been  problems.  She  thought  of  all  she  had  en- 
dured with  him.  It  made  her  sad  even  to  think  about  it 
now.  And  at  that  moment  she  decided  never  again  to  be 
sad  and  unhappy,  but  always  frivolous  and  light-hearted. 
Herrick  might  help  her  along  in  that  line,  she  thought. 
Life  was  so  short.  Even  Greenfield  had  preached  that. 
And  how  much  younger  she  felt  with  this  man  at  her  side. 

They  were  within  two  blocks  of  the  dance  hall.  Herrick 
was  telling  her  of  past  vicissitudes,  and  stirring  night-time 
adventures,  while  she  cast  furtive  sidelong  glances  at  him. 


Hagar  Revelly  193 

It  rather  thrilled  her  to  listen  to  his  daring  tales.  Some- 
how he  made  her  feel  proud  to  be  with  him. 

Although  everything  Herrick  said  was  marked  by 
youthful  bravado,  his  words  came  to  her  understanding 
like  a  sparkling  sunlight  that  threw  its  splendor  on  all  the 
dark,  worrying  days  of  the  past  weeks.  Hagar  even  made 
him  walk  a  little  ahead  of  her  for  a  time,  so  that  she  could 
look  at  his  square  shoulders,  his  close-cropped  blonde  hair 
in  the  back  and  the  broad  clean-shaven  nape  of  his  neck  — 
a  conceit  which  he  was  at  a  loss  to  fathom.  Just  before 
they  reached  the  dance  hall  there  even  came  over  her  a 
desire  to  be  near  him,  to  feel  those  muscles  that  lay  pli- 
antly  under  his  coat  sleeve. 

At  the  moment,  she  could  not  help  comparing  him  with 
Greenfield,  and  she  realized  how  the  other  man's  curly  hair 
and  worn  face  had  bothered  her.  She  remembered  too, 
that  Greenfield's  arms  were  soft  and  not  muscular. 

Looking  at  Herrick's  back,  as  at  her  command  he  walked 
ahead  of  her,  she  thought  to  herself :  "  He's  a  dear 
fellow  and  I've  been  mean  to  him.  Yes,  I've  been  a  fool." 

When  Herrick  came  laughingly  back  to  her,  they  walked 
along  slowly,  Herrick  gay  and  light-hearted,  and  Hagar 
also  happy  in  being  with  someone  who  caused  her  no  fear 
and  gave  her  no  cause  for  worrying. 

Gaining  the  Trocadero,  or  the  Hall  of  Joy,  as  Herrick 
called  it,  Hagar  waited  in  the  vestibule,  while  he  went  in 
to  get  the  tickets. 

She  had  thought  they  were  to  be  spectators,  but  as  he 
came  out,  Herrick  exclaimed : 

"  I've  bought  dancing  tickets  for  two.  We'll  have  a 
great  time,  if  you  like  to  dance." 

He  said  it  with  some  doubt  in  his  voice,  and  she 
answered  quickly :  "  Oh,  yes,  you  bet.  I  love  to  dance." 

However,  after  they  went  in,  the  hall  was  so  crowded 
they  decided  to  sit  in  the  balcony  for  a  while. 


194  Hagar  Revelly 

It  had  turned  suddenly  cold  during  the  day  and  the  hall 
was  overheated.  A  low  balcony  ran  around  the  entire 
room  and  in  many  places  under  its  shadow,  were  couples 
sitting  and  drinking,  with  a  draught  blowing  on  them 
from  the  open  windows. 

Over-developed  young  girls,  with  weird,  searching  eyes, 
promenaded  during  the  intermissions,  stopping  now  and 
then  to  converse  with  the  sallow-faced  youths  that  stood 
along  the  edge  of  the  cleared  floor.  Everyone  wore  a  look 
of  strange,  unnatural  eagerness,  and  Hagar  could  not 
resist  letting  herself  slip  into  the  same  mood. 

Sitting  quietly  beside  Herrick,  she  gazed  on  the 
dancers'  gyrations,  which  corresponded  so  closely  with  the 
sensuous  music,  eager  for  a  better  acquaintance  with  this 
happy  bohemian  life.  Every  now  and  then,  as  some 
dancer  would  whirl  past  them,  she  would  exclaim :  "  How 
fascinating ! " 

Herrick  was  more  interested  in  watching  her  than  in 
looking  down  upon  the  dancers.  He  understood  easily. 
the  metamorphosis  that  was  taking  place  in  her.  He  saw 
the  eagerness,  recklessness,  abandon,  straying  into  her 
eyes  and  lips  and  mouth. 

She  was  indeed  enjoying  herself  and  he  felt  pleased  and 
happy  with  her,  even  quite  pleased  with  himself  for  having 
thought  of  this  place.  Hagar  had  shown  such  a  disin- 
clination to  be  unconventional,  like  the  other  girls  he  knew, 
that  he  had  hesitated  to  take  her  out  at  all.  As  he  called 
for  her  that  evening,  he  had  pictured  in  his  mind,  a  few 
dreary  hours  spent  monotonously  in  the  parlor,  or  if  they 
did  go  out  together,  some  petty  quarrels  and  arguments. 
Now  he  was  indeed  happy  to  see  how  he  had  been  mistaken. 

He  turned  to  her  and  said,  "  Do  you  like  it  here, 
Hagar?  " 

"  Oh,  I  certainly  do,"  she  replied.  "  Do  you  come  here 
often?" 


Hagar  Revelly  195 

"  Oh,  I  cpme  here  a  good  deal.  But  I'm  certainly  glad 
you  like  it." 

A  jaded  girl  with  a  thin  pink  dress  and  dark  purplish 
rings  of  dissipation  under  her  eyes,  began  dancing  the 
Bear  Dance,  with  one  of  the  sallow-faced  youths.  Every- 
one clapped  when  they  had  finished,  and  as  she  threw  a 
kiss  to  a  group  of  friends  in  a  corner,  the  golden  bracelet 
around  her  thin  wrist  caught  the  light  and  sparkled  like 
a  brilliant. 

After  the  applause  had  died  out  the  tired  musicians  ac- 
cepted a  round  of  drinks  brought  to  them  by  a  bleary- 
eyed  mulatto  waiter. 

Presently,  another  dance  started  up,  a  whirling,  reckless 
affair,  and  everybody  laughed  and  clapped  again. 

•  It  was  all  a  sham  and  sickly  gaiety,  and  even  Herrick 
was  a  little  aware  of  this,  but  to  Hagar,  who  saw  only  the 
surface  glitter  of  the  sodden  place,  and  heard  only  the 
eager  responsiveness  in  her  own  youthful  being,  this  was 
the  real  life.  Before  the  evening  had  passed,  she  had 
drunk  a  glass  of  beer  and  had  danced  a  waltz  with  Her- 
rick's  strong  arms  holding  her  close  in  to  him. 

Delightful  times  followed  that  evening.  Herrick  took 
her  to  the  theatre,  to  the  different  cafes,  they  sat  and 
talked,  confiding,  complaining,  imparting  hidden  secrets 
of  their  past.  To  Hagar  it  was  very  wonderful  to  be 
young  again,  and  gay.  It  was  so  sweet  to  have  a  comrade 
and  companion. 

He  called  her  up  on  the  telephone  every  morning  before 
she  went  to  work,  and  not  a  day  passed  that  she  didn't  send 
him  a  note,  should  it  happen  that  they  could  not  see  each 
other. 

Greenfield  and  his  wishes  had  really  passed  out  of  her 
mind,  except  for  the  time  she  saw  him  at  the  store.  She 
told  the  manager  whenever  he  stopped  and  asked  her  how 
she  waj  getting  along,  and  why  she  was  avoiding  him,  that 


196  Hagar  Revelly 

it  was  because  she  was  thinking  about  what  he  proposed, 
and  that  she  didn't  want  to  see  him  until  she  had  decided. 
Her  little  hypocrisy  always  made  her  laugh,  after  he 
walked  so  quietly  away  from  her. 

But  she  thought  very  little  of  Greenfield.  Her  days 
were  too  full  of  other  things.  Each  morning,  as  she 
awoke  with  the  sun  shining  in  upon  her,  was  a  fresh  foun- 
tain of  expectancy.  Sometimes  when  she  walked  to  the 
subway  in  the  rare,  crisp  spring  air,  she  felt  as  if  Heaven 
had  looked  down  upon  her  and  had  spread  over  her  some 
magic  kind  of  mantle. 

As  the  days  went  by  Hagar  grew  more  and  more  fond 
of  Herrick.  Her  life  seemed  even  too  full  of  happiness  to 
spend  a  moment  in  sleeping  or  eating.  For  long  periods 
at  a  time  she  would  find  herself  sitting  with  nothing  in  her 
head  but  an  inexplainable  feeling  of  happiness,  and  in  her 
soul  the  vague  sense  of  pleasure  that  comes  to  one  who 
loves,  that  sense  of  pleasure  that  makes  one  liken  every 
shadow,  every  spot  of  sunshine  to  some  word  or  thought  of 
their  lover. 

When  she  looked  into  the  mirror  and  perceived  how 
radiant  and  fresh  she  looked,  and  then  compared  herself 
to  what  she  had  been  only  a  few  months  before,  she  felt 
so  exultant,  that  had  Herrick  been  near,  she  would  have 
taken  him  in  her  arms  and  hugged  him.  Very  distinctly 
now,  she  remembered  how  worn  out  she  had  formerly  been 
when  she  went  out  with  Greenfield. 

Hagar  and  Herrick  saw  each  other  almost^  every 
evening.  Sometimes  they  found  a  strange  happiness  in 
being  silent,  and  would  spend  hours  together,  without  a 
word  from  each  other. 

Then,  on  other  evenings,  they  would  tear  around  from 
one  bohemian  place  to  the  other,  with  Herrick  always 
boyishly  eager  to  spend  his  last  penny,  and  Hagar  repri- 
manding him  for  his  recklessness. 


Hagar  Revelly  197 

She  had  a  task  now,  to  save  him  from  his  own  daring, 
and  she  took  an  astonishing  delight  in  this  mission,  making 
him  stop  his  incessant  smoking  of  cigarettes  and  giving 
her  his  solemn  word  that  he  would  never  drink  again. 

And  when,  for  a  few  weeks,  he  gave  her  a  part  of  his 
salary  to  keep  safely  for  him,  she  was  pleased  inex- 
pressibly. 

At  night,  when  it  was  time  for  them  to  part  so  that  both 
could  get  a  decent  rest,  the  ordeal  was  a  Spartan  one. 
But  it  pleased  her  to  make  this  sacrifice,  for  his  health's 
sake,  and  she  found  a  certain  comfort  in  her  common 
sense.  He  responded  to  her  caresses  and  commands  like 
a  toy.  She  would  say,  "  Time  to  go  now,"  and  he  would 
pout  and  look  sad-eyed,  and  then  as  she  petted  his  cheeks 
and  said,  "  Poor  boy,"  he  would  give  a  great  boyish  laugh, 
and  kiss  the  lips  that  were  uttering  the  command. 

At  other  times  she  would  murmur  sweet  words  into 
his  ears  in  an  impulse  of  pity,  which  he  found  could 
always  be  brought  on  by  telling  her  how  hard  he  was 
working. 

Time  passed.  One  Sunday  they  went  into  the  country, 
to  a  queer  little  place  a  few  miles  up  on  the  Hudson.  It 
was  wonderful  to  be  in  the  woods  in  the  spring  sunshine, 
and  after  taking  lunch  at  the  hotel,  they  found  a  path  that 
led  through  a  pretty  forest  glen,  all  alive  with  sprouting 
maples  and  elm  trees.  It  was  early  spring,  and  they  came 
to  many  soggy  places,  little  miniature  swamps.  More 
than  once  he  lifted  her  over  a  marshy  spot,  where,  shaded 
by  the  trees,  the  last  remnants  of  a  snow  storm  lay  perish- 
ing. 

Once  a  great  windfall,  with  its  bruised  bark,  lay  directly 
across  their  path,  and  by  common  impulse  they  halted 
their  arm-in-arm  progress  to  sit  on  its  trunk. 

Something  compelled  them  to  talk  in  hushed  voices,  and 
for  a  long  time  they  sat  there  quietly. 


198  Hagar  Revelly 

Then,  in  the  trees  overhead,  a  solitary  robin,  chirping 
'  gaily,  attracted  their  attention.  Its  red  breast  stood  out 
like  a  drop  of  blood  against  the  lofty  blue  sky. 

"  Isn't  it  wonderful,  dear,  with  all  the  birds  and  trees  ?  " 
she  whispered,  solemnty,  as  if  afraid  that  the  forest  might 
hear. 

"  Wonderful,"  he  whispered  back. 

For  a  long  time  they  sat  with  arms  around  each  other, 
their  feet  dangling  above  the  ground.  When  they  talked, 
they  always  spoke  in  the  same  hushed  voice,  as  if  they 
must  needs  match  up  with  the  silence  and  hush  of  the 
forest. 

"  It's  great  being  here  like  this,  isn't  it,  Hagar?  "  said 
he,  after  a  spell  of  stillness. 

"  Oh,  I  should  say  so.     I  just  love  it.     Don't  you?  " 

"  I  should  say.  It's  just  like  that  story  about  the  two 
orphans  in  the  woods.  It's  just  like  we  were  the  onl}' 
people  in  the  world,  as  if  there  wasn't  anyone  else  but  just 
you  and  me." 

"  Tell  me  about  the  story,  Frank." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  remember  it,  but  it's  something  about  two 
orphans  being  lost  in  the  woods  and  then  they  got  married, 
or  something,  and  lived  happily  ever  after." 

She  clasped  his  hand  tightly. 

"That's  pretty  near  like  us,  isn't  it?"  after  she  had 
thought  about  the  fairy  tale. 

"  Well,  we're  happy  anyway,  aren't  we,  Hagar  ?  " 

"  I  should  say,"  she  sighed.  "  Aren't  you  awfully 
happy?  " 

"  Sure  I  am." 

"  I  certainly  never  was  happy  like  this,"  she  confided ; 
"  why  I'm  happy  all  the  time  now.  I  just  go  to  bed  feel- 
ing so  happy,  Frank,  and  when  I  wake  up  I  —  well,  I'm 
just  happy,  that's  all." 

The  conversation  drifted  on  to  how  pleased  she  was  that 


Hagar  Revelly  199 

he  gave  up  all  his  vices.  He  asked  why  he  ought  not  make 
the  sacrifices,  if  she  desired  them. 

"  Why  shouldn't  I,"  he  said;  "  if  you  wanted  it?  " 

"  It  was  good  of  you  just  the  same,"  she  replied,  ear- 
nestly. 

They  had  spent  a  long  time  in  this  lover-like  companion- 
ship, when  they  noticed  that  darkness  was  coming  on  and 
the  air  was  getting  chilled  from  the  absence  of  the  sun. 

"Don't  you  think  we'd  better  go?"  suggested  Hagar, 
with  the  wish  that  they  could  stay  there  indefinitely. 

He  looked  around. 

"  Say,  it  is  getting  late,  isn't  it?  "  he  exclaimed. 

Then  he  took  her  in  his  arms  and  started  to  lift  her 
from  the  log,  though  first  he  planted  a  long,  ardent  kiss 
on  her  lips. 

When  she  pushed  him  away,  she  said,  playfully,  "  You're 
a  naughty  boy,  I  nearly  lost  my  breath ;  I  thought  you'd 
never  finish." 

The  remark  seemed  so  droll  that  both  nearly  fell  off 
the  log,  from  laughter. 

It  was  quite  dark  and  cold  when  they  reached  the  little 
inn-like  hotel.  The  train  back  to  the  city  was  caught  with 
just  a  few  seconds  to  spare. 


CHAPTER  XVI 

SPRING  neared  its  end  and  the  hot  sultry  (days  of  early 
summer  took  the  place  of  exhilarating  zephyrs  and  crisp 
sunshine. 

Hagar's  companionship  with  Herrick  was  now  an  ac- 
cepted affair  of  love,  with  all  the  exaltation,  all  the  less- 
ened forethought  of  youth,  coupled  with  its  sweet  vigor 
and  fragrance.  With  him  she  was  happy  always.  If  a 
night  passed  that  she  did  not  hear  from  him,  she  was 
obsessed  by  a  sadness  that  engulfed  her,  spending  hours 
on  end,  listening  for  the  telephone,  starting  with  a  clutch 
at  her  heart  at  each  little  fantastic  tingle,  and  terribly 
unhappy  and  mournful,  if  she  had  to  seek  her  bed  with 
word  from  him,  still  wrapped  in  the  black  silence  of  the 
night. 

Sometimes  it  happened  that  after  she  had  gone  to  bed 
his  belated  ring  down  in  the  hallway  would  awaken  her 
out  of  some  unhappy  dream.  Then  she  would  rush  out  of 
bed  athirst  for  his  voice,  and  it  would  seem  that  life 
were  again  worth  the  living. 

The  telephone  became  their  best  means  of  communica- 
tion. She  grew  to  nearly  know  the  ring  of  his  call.  To 
think  there  had  to  be  a  central  who  brought  them 
together  was  hard  to  bear.  It  seemed  wrong  that  anyone 
should  share  in  this  message  of  affection  between  her  lover 
and  herself.  When  she  heard  his  warm  voice,  it  was  as  if 
he  had  actually  come  and  touched  her,  as  if  his  words  were 
little  winged  kisses  that  flew  over  the  wires  and  nestled  on 
her  lips ;  as  if  lingering  there,  they  would  say :  "  Poor 

dear,  here  are  his  kisses." 

200 


Hagar  Revelly  201 

And  after  such  a  time  as  this,  when  a  belated  vigil  had 
at  last  been  rewarded,  she  would  rush  into  Miss  Gillespie's 
room  or  into  Miss  LaMotte's  and  talk  herself  hoarse  about 
her  work  at  the  store,  or  a  new  idea  in  the  management  of 
her  position,  while  all  the  time  she  would  be  thinking  of 
Herrick. 

Her  thoughts  were  of  him  always.  One  day  she  saw 
a  man  in  the  street  wearing  a  hat  that  resembled  one 
Herrick  wore.  She  rushed  after  him,  so  that  she  could  see 
his  face.  There  was  a  hurried  "  Excuse  me,"  and  the  man 
was  left  in  wonderment. '  He  could  not  know  how  empty 
was  her  heart  after  this  disappointment. 

Hagar's  love  for  Herrick  made  a  marked  change  in  her 
attitude  towards  those  about  her.  She  was  more  genial 
and  kind,  and  even  talked  more  amiably  to  Greenfield. 

Noticing  this,  Greenfield  felt  sure  that  it  would  not  be 
long  before  she  responded  to  his  desires.  He  told  himself 
with  more  assurance  that  he  must  only  hold  out  and  give 
her  time.  To  Miss  Gillespie  also,  Hagar  was  sweeter,  and 
the  woman  was  made  happier  because  now  she  felt,  as  she 
watched  Hagar's  crazy  little  rushes  about  the  place,  that 
the  child  was  content  again,  and  had  now  found  balance  in 
the  youthful  pleasures  offered  by  Herrick. 

"  You're  just  like  a  little  furry  kitten  these  days, 
Hagar,"  the  woman  would  say.  "  I'm  so  glad." 

One  evening,  Hagar  found  her  lover  in  a  mood  that  was 
taciturn,  even  tinged  with  a  slight  melancholy.  He  told 
her  the  cause  was  an  unkind  word  at  the  factory  and  the 
fear  that  he  might  be  laid  off  on  account  of  an  unusually 
dull  season.  She  tried  to  cheer  him  by  her  sympathy  and 
caresses,  and  when  his  face  at  last  brightened  again,  she 
felt  a  great  pride  in  the  fact  that  she  had  been  of  service 
to  him.  To  herself  she  reflected,  that  he  needed  her,  and 
wished  that  she  could  share  all  his  troubles  in  this  manner. 
She  wished  that  she  might  ever  be  his  servitor. 


202  Hagar  Revelly 

That  evening  they  went  into  a  cafe,  and  every  chord 
from  the  orchestra's  strings  breathed  indescribable  charm 
to  her.  It  made  her  realize  more  than  ever  before 
Herrick's  ability  for  keeping  her  in  a  land  of  enchantment. 
They  sat  for  three  hours  in  an  ecstatic  silence  and  only 
the  glances  that  crossed  between  them,  showed  the  tumult 
of  emotion  that  was  being  engendered. 

Herrick  managed  to  get  ahold  of  money  during  this 
period  so  that  they  might  keep  up  their  hunt  for  pleasure. 
Once  she  missed  the  signet  ring  that  he  usually  wore,  and 
knew  that  he  had  pawned  it.  Somehow  this  made  him 
seem  to  her  more  manly.  She  was  affected  a  good  deal 
when  she  thought  that  he  cared  so  much  for  her  as  to 
make  this  sacrifice. 

One  Saturday  evening,  toward  fall,  a  railroad  advertise- 
ment on  a  Broadway  surface  car  caught  their  eyes,  and 
almost  simultaneously,  they  decided  on  the  morrow  to  re- 
visit the  little  place  on  the  Hudson. 

Herrick  called  for  her  at  the  boarding  house  at  about 
noontime  the  next  day,  and  they  reached  the  West  Forty- 
second  Street  ferry,  just  in  time  to  board  their  boat. 
Their  hurried  plunge  through  the  crowd  left  them  breath- 
less and  flushed. 

"  Supposing  we  had  missed  the  boat,"  she  exclaimed. 

"  I  guess  we  would  have  had  to  walk,"  he  replied. 

"  Foolish  boy." 

"  Well,  we  wanted  to  have  a  little  holiday  together, 
didn't  we?" 

The  boat  was  moving  slowly  out  into  the  bay,  tooting 
and  puffing  its  way,  like  some  huge,  clumsy,  water  animal. 

"  Didn't  we  ?  "  he  asked  again. 

Hagar  took  his  hands  and  looked  kindly  into  his  stern 
set  face,  happy  because  she  knew  that  of  all  the  people 
who  might  see  him,  she  alone  was  able  to  read  what  lay  in 
his  thoughts. 


Hagar  Revelly  203 

"  Of  course,  boy,"  she  answered. 

"Well?" 

"Well?" 

"  Then  we  would  have  walked  because  it's  the  only  place 
I  know  where  people  don't  bother  you.  I  think  I'll  take 
a  year's  lease  on  it  and  rent  it  out  to  lovers."  He  laughed 
at  the  idea. 

"  Yes,  how  grand,"  she  cried.  "  Then  I  could  take 
tickets  at  the  gate  and  see  that  only  real  lovers  like  us 
got  in." 

Herrick  nodded  meditatively,  adding  that  they  might 
not  do  much  business,  because  they  were  the  only  two  real 
lovers  in  the  world. 

It  was  mid-afternoon  when  they  reached  -the  little  inn. 
A  soft  grey  mist,  laden  with  a  purplish  refraction  of  the 
sun,  lay  in  a  heavy  blanket  over  the  river  and  chased  away 
their  desire  for  a  boat  ride. 

But  on  land  the  air  was  clear  and  fragrant,  and  from 
the  trees  overhead,  came  a  sighing  breath  of  wind. 

"  It's  certainly  a  great  day,  Frank,"  said  Hagar,  after 
they  had  climbed  the  steep  path  back  of  the  hotel. 

A  wish  came  into  her  mind  to  walk  along  a  certain 
wooded  pathway,  where  they  could  be  alone,  and  the 
shadows  unmindful. 

Herrick,  reading  the  unspoken  words,  said :  "  Our  old 
walk,  then,  Hagar?  " 

Quickly  agreeing,  Hagar  added  that  they  shouldn't 
come  in  with  the  first  appearance  of  dusk,  but  should  get 
a  basket  with  sandwiches  at  the  hotel  and  stay  out  and 
watch  the  moon  rise  over  the  water. 

It  seemed  a  fine  idea,  and  for  a  moment  they  quarrelled 
petulantly,  both  claiming  ownership  to  the  happy  sug- 
gestion. Then  they  ran  down  the  hill  to  the  hotel  for 
the  basket  of  lunch. 

The  inn  was  kept  by  a  middle-aged  man  and  his  wife, 


204  Hagar  Hevelly 

and  the  childlessness  of  their  domicile  was  made  appar- 
ent by  the  number  of  cats  that  shared  their  home.  Mrs. 
Mallory  carried  a  pet  kitten  on  her  shoulder,  while  her 
husband  sat  upon  the  verandah,  his  pipe  in  his  mouth 
and  two  big,  grey,  purring  animals  at  his  feet.  They 
were  very  kind  people  and  to  Hagar  they  showed  their 
regard  by  their  petting,  solicitous  words  and  caressing 
glances,  while  to  Herrick  they  said,  as  the  pair  went  off 
gaily  with  a  heavy  basket: 

"  Take  good  care  of  the  little  lady,  young  man." 

"  Oh,  I  will,"  Herrick  laughed,  saying  that  he  was  as 
fond  of  Hagar  as  they  were. 

As  the  young  people  went  up  the  hill  back  of  the  house, 
the  old  man  and  his  wife  stood  in  the  sunlight  on  the 
porch,  waving  a  farewell  until  they  had  disappeared. 

"  They're  funny,  aren't  they,"  Hagar  said,  as  soon  as 
they  were  out  of  ear-shot.  "  But  the  old  lady's  a  dear. 
She  thought  you  wouldn't  take  good  care  of  me,  didn't 
she?" 

"  Yes,  I  suppose  she  was  afraid  I'd  throw  you  from 
some  precipice,  or  into  some  chasm  of  oblivion." 

"  Whatever  that  means,"  Hagar  added  quickly. 

They  were  walking  along  Indian  fashion,  through  a 
thickly  wooded  trail,  and  Herrick  was  too  much  occu- 
pied in  separating  the  low-hanging  branches  to  notice 
her  remark. 

But  she  called  his  attention  to  the  big  words  he  had 
used,  and  he  answered: 

"  Why,  Hagar,  do  you  mean  that  you  don't  know  what 
a  chasm  is  ?  " 

She  laughed  playfully.  "  I  don't  know  what  an  ob- 
livious chasm  is.  I'm  not  a  teacher  of  geography,  or 
whatever  it  is  that  talks  about  chasms  and  things."  She 
added  as  if  she  were  hurt,  "  I  don't  think  you  ought  to 
• —  to  make  fun  of  me,  either." 


Hagar  Revelly  205 

Herrick  relieved  the  situation  by  saying  that  he  was 
not  serious  and  that  she  only  lacked  sense  of  humor. 
Then  he  turned  around  to  her  and,  as  an  apology,  kissed 
her,  while  she,  in  acknowledgment  of  the  offering,  slipped 
her  hands  through  his  arm  and  gave  it  a  slight  but  well- 
meaning  squeeze. 

"  You  must  teach  me  all  these  wonderful  things,  my 
boy,"  said  she,  very  softly. 

In  silence  they  walked  up  a  steep  hill,  until  they  found 
a  grassy  plot  that  was  not  too  rolling.  Here  they  en- 
sconced themselves. 

Down  in  the  valley  the  waving  tops  of  the  maples  and 
elms  danced  gaily  in  the  fading  sunlight,  and  off  in  the 
distance,  hanging  like  a  halo  over  the  curving  ribbon  of 
water,  was  a  faint  rainbow,  flaunting  its  subtle  colors  in 
the  dying  glow. 

"  Let  us  watch  the  sunset  from  here,"  suggested 
Hagar. 

"  Isn't  it  too  windy  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  It  will  die  down  with  the  sunset." 

She  threw  her  jacket  on  the  ground,  and  then  pulled 
him  down  beside  her. 

"  The  grass  will  get  damp  pretty  soon.  We  ought 
to  have  thought  and  brought  a  blanket." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  thin'k  it  will  get  very  bad,"  Hagar  re- 
plied. 

For  a  long  time  they  sat  in  peace.  Hagar  was  so 
happy;  her  heart  so  full  and  yet  so  light;  she  felt  as  if 
they  were  floating  above  the  world  in  some  big  ship  that 
kept  them  beyond  all  bother  and  trouble.  Sitting 
quietly,  they  held  each  other's  hands  and  looked  out  over 
the  river. 

Presently  their  attention  was  diverted  by  a  daring 
little  woodpecker,  who  began  pecking  his  way  into 
a  tree  a  few  feet  from  them.  For  a  time  both  Hagar 


206  'Hagar  Revelly 

and  Herrick  were  lost  in  regarding  its  energetic  labor. 

"  He's  working  his  head  off,  and  jet  he  won't  ever  get 
any  place,"  Herrick  said,  as  they  watched  its  efforts. 
"  That's  the  way  a  good  many  of  us  do,  I  guess." 

Listening  to  his  words,  Hagar  discovered  a  bit  of  sad- 
ness in  them. 

"  Don't  be  unhappy,  Frank,"  she  exclaimed,  as  she 
puckered  her  lips.  "  You  couldn't  be  if  you  knew  how 
happy  I  was." 

Then  the  woodpecker  flew  away  and  left  them  both 
staring  at  the  setting  sun,  which,  like  a  rim  of  red  and 
gold,  was  slowly  disappearing  behind  a  rift  of  clouds  in 
the  horizon. 

"  We  really  ought  to  be  happy,  dear,"  she  said,  very 
quietly.  "  Everybody  else  is  so  unhappy." 

Herrick  regarded  her  with  a  kindly  glance. 

"  Yes,  I  know,  but  it's  pretty  hard  to  keep  from 
thinking,  when  you  see  what  happens  to  people,  just  be- 
cause they  don't." 

"Don't  what?" 

"  Oh,  don't  think,  and  plan  ahead." 

"  Oh,  I  know,  but  I  think  one  gets  along  just  the  same, 
sometimes  even  better,  don't  you?  " 

Feeling  intuitively  that  under  her  words  was  veiled  the 
understanding  that  he  took  life  too  seriously  (she  had 
told  him  that  before),  he  said: 

"  You  don't  know  how  the  world  is  balanced,  Hagar. 
When  there  is  somebody  really  happy  on  one  end  of  the 
plank,  there  is  somebody  on  the  other  end  who  has  lost 
what  the  other  has  gained,  and  is  just  as  unhappy." 

Hagar  studied  his  serious,  expressive  face  before  she 
spoke. 

"  You  talk  in  such  riddles  sometimes,  Frank.  You  are 
just  like  father  when  he  discussed  Wagner.  It  used  to 
bore  me  to  death." 


Hagar  Revelly  207 

"  I'm  sorry,  little  girl." 

But  now  there  was  something  so  strange  in  his  tone 
that  she  turned  to  him  and  found  him  staring  vacantly 
off  into  the  settling  dusk  below  them  in  the  valley. 

She  gave  his  coat  sleeve  a  little  tug,  as  if  to  bring  him 
to  his  senses.  "  For  heaven's  sake,  Frank,  don't  let's  get 
sad." 

And  he  jerked  his  head  back  and  squared  his  shoulders 
at  her  pleading. 

"  Of  course,  we  won't,"  he  exclaimed.  "  We'll  be 
happy  —  like  two  kids,  the  two  in  the  woods  —  yes?  " 

"  Sure,"  she  replied  seriously.  "  It's  the  only  way 
to  be." 

Coming  up  the  river  in  the  distance  was  a  little  steamer. 

"  Oh,  look  at  the  Albany  boat."  He  directed  her  gaze 
with  his  finger.  "  Doesn't  it  look  like  a  big  grey  bug, 
crawling  along  in  the  dark?  " 

"  It  certainly  does." 

"  How  would  you  like  to  be  on  it,  Hagar?  " 

"  I'd  rather  be  here,"  she  laughed.  "  We'd  have  to  be 
sitting  stiffly  against  the  rails,  there." 

They  watched  the  boat  until  the  darkness  crept  up  and 
enveloped  them.  And  then,  as  the  stars  began  peeping 
out  from  behind  the  weird  banks  of  clouds,  Herrick  was 
inspired  to  repeat  to  her  a  little  poem  he  had  come  across 
and  memorized  a  year  before. 

"  The   spell   is   broke,   the   charm   is   flown 
Thus  is  it  with  life's  fitful  fever: 
We  madly  smile  when  we  should  groan 
Delirium  is  our  best  deceiver. 

Each  lucid  interval  of  Thought 
Recalls  the  woes  of  nature's  charter 
And  he  that  acts  as  wise  men  ought 
But  lives,  as  saints  have  died,  a  martyr." 


208  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Oh,  how  wonderful,"  she  exclaimed,  when  he  had  fin- 
ished. "You  didn't  write  that,  did  you?  " 

"  No  —  not  exactly.  It's  something  from  Lord  Byron. 
I  saw  it  once  and  learned  it.  I  think  it's  wonderful, 
don't  you?  It's  got  so  much  feeling  in  it." 

"  Wonderful,  indeed,"  she  agreed.  "  I  didn't  even 
know  you  liked  poetry." 

"  Well,  it's  the  only  one  I  know,  but  I  love  it.  Don't 
you?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Yes,  I  like  it  a  lot,"  he  added. 

"  So  do  I." 

Hagar  threw  herself  on  her  back,  her  hands  folded  un- 
der her  head,  her  eyes  studying  the  stars. 

In  this  manner  she  lay  silently  for  some  time,  looking 
up  at  the  changing  patterns,  watching  each  little  spot 
of  twinkling  light  as  it  made  its  first  appearance.  Fall- 
ing into  a  reverie,  she  dreamed  herself  a  queen,  walking 
through  the  silvery  bowers  of  the  stars.  She  was  so 
happy  .  .  .  every  streak  in  the  sky  seemed  a  Jacob's 
Ladder  —  leading  to  future  bliss,  and  every  rung  of  it 
that  she  trod  was  jewelled  with  porphyry  or  topaz,  and 
garlanded  by  wreaths  of  delicate  spring-time  blossoms. 

Then  she  gave  a  deep  sigh. 

"What's  the  matter,  Hagar?"  he  asked. 

"  Oh,  Frank,  I'm  just  thinking  how  wonderful  it  is  to  be 
up  here,  away  from  everybody,  all  alone." 

He  too  lay  back  by  her  side. 

"  I  see  the  great  dipper,"  he  cried  out  boyishly. 

"Where?" 

To  show  it  to  her,  he  drew  closer  and  passed  one  arm 
under  her  head.  With  the  other  he  pointed  it  out  to  her. 

They  studied  the  heavens  until  they  had  exhausted 
all  the  old  figures:  the  Little  Dipper,  the  Great  Bear, 
the  Milky  Way;  then  they  began  counting  the  stars 


that  lay  wedged  in  between  two  great  ropes   of  clouds. 

But  the  clouds  moved  with  the  wind  and  more  and  more 
stars  showed  themselves,  and  at  last,,  after  they  had 
counted  the  numbers  aloud  with  greater  and  greater  ra- 
pidity they  became  very  excited. 

"  Oh,  such  fun,"  Hagar  laughed. 

Soon  they  gave  up  this  occupation  to  watch  the  slow 
mounting  of  a  great,  large  star  at  the  horizon.  Slowly  it 
moved  up  into  the  heavens,  and  Hagar  was  astonished  to 
learn  from  him  that  the  stars  had  motion. 

He  tried  to  explain  to  her  that  there'  were  little  sys- 
tems, each  with  its  own  course  to  pursue.. 

"  I  thought  it  was  the  earth  that  moved,"  she  pro- 
tested. 

Herrick  thought  a  moment,  somewhat  puzzled. 

"  Well,  maybe  you're  right.  But  I  believe  it  is  the 
way  I  say." 

*'  I  never  heard  of  it  before,"  Hagar  commented. 

Using  his  fingers  as  imaginary  bodies,  he  tried  to  ex- 
plain to  her  this  theory,  a  little  doubtful  himself  as  to 
the  correctness  of  his  remark. 

When  -he  had  finished,  he  said :  "  That's  what  they  call 
astronomy." 

Hagar  looked  upon  him  full  of  admiration.  "  Gee, 
Frank,  you  certainly  know  a  lot,  don't  you  ?  " 

With  a  modest  shrug  of  his  shoulders,  he  laughed 
off  her  exclamation,  though  Hagar's  eyes  were  still 
searching  him  proudly. 

Then  Herrick  saw  another  planet  rise  along  the  black 
rim  of  the  earth.  He  tried  to  point  it  out  to  her,  but 
she  could  not  locate  it. 

Angered  with  herself,  she  cried :     "  I  can't  find  it." 

"  You  can  if  you  try." 

"Oh,  where  is  it?" 

"  There  it  is,  where  my  finger  is  pointed." 


210  Hagar  Revelly 

"Oh,  Frank!" 

"  There,  don't  you  see  ?  It's  coming  up  now,  right  in 
the  path  of  the  Big  Dipper.  Don't  you  see  it  ?  " 

"  No  —  you  foolish  boy." 

And  as  they  lay,  laughing  at  her  inability  to  find  the 
star,  their  bodies  suddenly  touched,  and  instantly,  by 
common  consent,  as  if  they  had  been  fighting  off  the  im- 
pulse all  evening,  their  lips  met  in  a  long,  impetuous, 
heated  kiss. 

"  I  love  you,  Hagar.     Do  you  love  me?  " 

"  Yes,"  she  whispered. 

The  next  instant  they  were  struggling  desperately  in 
each  other's  arms,  and  a  moment  later  he  had  won  her. 

.  .  .  The  moon  had  come  into  its  own,  caparisoned 
in  a  medley  of  yellow  and  red;  the  stars  were  echoing 
faint,  silent  messages  to  each  other  in  the  firmament  above 
them. 

Side  by  side  they  sat,  isolated,  alone  and  beyond  a 
worldly  turmoil. 

Hagar  took  his  hand  and  entwined  her  dainty  fingers 
amongst  his  own. 

"  I  love  you  very,  very  much,  Frank,"  she  murmured. 

He  remarked  that  he  could  outline  the  distant  ap- 
proach of  a  locomotive  on  the  shining  rails  in  the  valley 
below. 

"  We'd  better  be  going,"  he  said.     "  It  must  be  late." 

She  did  not  heed  his  words,  only  searching  his  face 
and  whispering :  "  How  wonderful  it  will  be,  Frank, 
when  we  are  married." 

Her  words  startled  Herrick  somewhat,  but  he  whispered 
back,  "  Yes,  darling." 

As  they  walked  to  the  inn  there  was  chastity  in  her 
thoughts,  and  a  deep  belief  in  her  heart  of  hearts  that 
now  she  had  entered  into  perpetual  happiness. 


CHAPTER  XVII 

A  SERIES  of  moods,  unusual  indeed  to  the  phlegmatic 
Greenfield,  overtook  him  after  he  became  actually  aware 
of  Hagar's  indifference. 

At  times  he  would  be  gay  and  go  out  upon  the  streets 
or  to  the  different  restaurants,  and  meet  his  friends,  in 
his  usual  affable,  pleasant  manner;  again  he  would  be  sol- 
emn, morose,  and  show  palpable  signs  of  his  unhappiness 
to  anyone  who  would  come  near  him. 

During  this  period  he  often  walked  the  streets  wonder- 
ing why  he  was  so  different  now,  so  disturbed,  when  all 
the  old  possibilities  for  pleasure  were  still  at  hand.  He 
would  walk  along,  a  tight  grip  upon  the  handle  of  his 
cane,  murmuring  that  he  did  not  deserve  this  lonesome- 
ness,  that  he  must  get  above  it,  and  not  be  such  a 
fool.  Breathing  self-imprecations,  forming  new  reso- 
lutions for  the  future,  he  would  stalk  from  one  place  to 
another. 

As  the  weeks  passed  and  he  was  becoming  actually 
aware  that  Hagar  was  growing  farther  apart  from  him, 
and  that  he  was  probably  losing  her,  a  species  of  unrest 
belayed  him  that  brought  to  his  life  probably  the  intens- 
est  feeling  of  loneliness  he  had  ever  suffered.  Many 
times  he  would  be  so  worn  out  from  thinking  and  analyz- 
ing that  he  would  retire  early  in  the  evening,  only  to  be 
up  at  twelve  or  one  o'clock,  dressed  again,  confessing  to 
himself  that  he  could  not  get  to  bed  so  peaceably.  If 
he  stayed  up  till  very  late,  a  feeling  of  dissatisfaction 
overcame  him  for  having  passed  through  the  whole  even- 
ing without  any  real  pleasure  or  diversion. 

211 


Hagar  Revelly 

One  evening  he  dined  in  a  Broadway  restaurant  with 
some  friends  that  he  had  known  when  his  life  had  been 
gayer,  and  another  time  he  played  poker  with  some  theat- 
rical managers  until  nearly  breakfast  time.  But  this  did 
not  attract  him  at  all  in  the  manner  it  formerly  had,  and 
when  another  party  was  suggested  by  them  to  take  him 
out  of  his  mood,  he  made  some  petty  excuse,  and  instead 
stayed  in  his  room. 

For  a  few  days  he  tried  looking  up  some  of  his  old 
women  friends,  with  just  as  little  success.  Now  he  no- 
ticed defects  in  their  appearance,  things  about  them  that 
had  become  strangely  repellant  to  him;  on  one  a  smudge 
of  paint,  a  pencilled  eyebrow,  or  a  furrowed  line  about 
the  eyes  and  mouth. 

One  night  Greenfield  drank  more  than  usual  and  after 
spending  quite  the  whole  evening  in  searing  reflections,  he 
suddenly  determined  to  forget  his  ridiculous  longing  for 
Hagar,  at  any  price.  Near  midnight,  he  entered  a  glit- 
tering, gold-bedecked  restaurant  on  upper  Broadway. 
For  a  moment  the  music  and  gaiety,  the  white  rows  of 
tables,  the  coverlet  of  smoke  that  hung  flimsily  in  the  up- 
per air,  made  him  wish  to  leave  immediately.  But  he 
took  a  table  far  back  on  one  side,  and  when  the  waiter 
drew  out  the  chair  for  him  and  said  "  Alone  ?  "  he  hesi- 
tated awkwardly  and  made  a  resolution  that  he  would  not 
be  alone  very  long. 

"  Yes,  I'm  alone  —  Then  he  recognized  in  the  waiter 
one  who  had  served  him  quite  often,  a  year  or  so  before. 

"  Yes,  I'm  alone  all  right,"  he,  repeated  as  the  man  won- 
deringly  placed  before  him  a  menu  card.  "  How  are 
you?  " 

"  Oh,  I'm  all  right,  Mr.  Greenfield.  I  haven't  seen  you 
for  near  onto  a  year." 

"No?" 

"  But  the  lady  comes  in  quite  often." 


Hagar  Revelly 

"  Bring  me  a  lobster  Newburg  and  a  Scotch  highball," 
Greenfield  demanded  restlessly. 

The  fellow  hurried  out  through  a  door  panelled  in  gold, 
and  Greenfield,  shot  through  with  temper  at  the  joyless 
reminder  of  his  past  adventures,  busied  himself  in  view- 
ing those  near  him. 

Sitting  directly  across  from  him,  was  a  blonde  little 
lady,  who  seemed  to  prop  her  head  upon  her  arm,  in  just 
the  manner  which  was  so  characteristic  of  Hagar.  This 
annoyed  him  and  for  a  time  he  would  not  look  in  her  di- 
rection. When  he  looked  again,  he  realized  she  was  ac- 
tually someone  he  knew.  At  that  moment  she  too  looked 
up  and  immediately  arose  to  give  him  a  greeting. 

"  Well,  you've  changed  so,  Bennie,  I  might  not  have 
known  you,"  she  exclaimed,  as  she  took  the  seat  he  offered 
her.  "  Where  have  you  been  keeping  yourself  —  and  the 
Titian-haired  one,  what's  become  of  her?  " 

He  answered  her  rather  laconically :  "  Haven't  seen 
her  for  a  couple  of  years." 

She  continued  to  study  his  face. 

"  Well,  you  certainly  have  changed,  Ben,"  she  mused 
on.  "  We've  missed  you  on  the  Way." 

She  went  on  sprightly,  probably  for  an  effect  upon 
those  at  the  near-by  tables,  since  getting  up  and  ap- 
proaching a  man's  table  had  come  to  be  looked  upon  as 
not  quite  a  proper  thing. 

"Yes,  I  was  just  telling  Mabel  —  you  remember  Ma- 
bel, Mrs.  Rokher,  of  course  —  well,  I  was  telling  her  just 
the  other  day  that  you  were  one  of  the  people  who  seemed 
to  be  wiped  off  the  map,  all  of  a  sudden.  I  came  near 
calling  — " 

"  What'll  you  have?"  asked  Greenfield,  as  the  waiter 
shadowed  their  conversation. 

"  Oh,  I  ought  to  get  back  —  but  bring  me  the  same," 
she  turned  to  the  waiter  —  "a  silver  fizz." 


Hagar  Revelly 

She  stopped  to  fix  h«r  back  hair,  aided  by  h«r  refles- 
tion  in  a  near-by  mirror. 

"  What  was  I  saying?  "  she  asked,  after  a  moment. 

Greenfield  smiled,  with  the  smile  that  comes  to  the  face 
of  a  man  who  is  bored  and  yet  blames  himself  for  caus- 
ing it. 

"  You  were  telling  me  how  you  intended  telephoning,  I 
think." 

"  Oh,  yes." 

Then  she  went  on,  relating  in  stereotype  fashion  how 
others  had  asked  about  him,  and  the  ordeals  she  had 
passed  through  since  she  had  last  seen  him. 

While  she  talked  Greenfield  looked  at  the  forced  viva- 
ciousness,  covering  the  hunger  in  her  eyes ;  he  studied  the 
heightened  color  of  her  cheeks,  the  sallowness  of  htr 
throat.  And  as  she  continued,  he  unconsciously  remem  • 
bered  how  really  pretty  she  had  been  in  the  years  before, 
when  youth  was  still  nourishing  her. 

"  You're  getting  older,  Ida,"  he  said,  tactlessly  word- 
ing his  thoughts. 

"  Oh,  I  know  what  you're  thinking,"  she  replied. 
"  But  it  isn't  that.  I'm  taking  pretty  good  care  of  my- 
self." 

Then  she  told  him  how  she  had  really  fallen  in  love  and 
that  the  pain  of  finding  her  man  truthless  had  driven  her 
back  into  the  ways  of  least  resistance. 

"  I  was  so  on  the  square  with  him,  you  wouldn't  be- 
lieve," she  confessed.  "  I  wanted  to  give  this  all  up,  once 
and  for  all.  Oh,  you  don't  know  how  really  bad  I  wanted 
to  —  but  he  wasn't  square,  he  wasn't  square." 

More  in  detail  the  woman  ran  over  the  old  story,  the 
story  that  every  cocotte,  every  demi-mondaine,  uses,  as  a 
last  resort,  to  bolster  up  her  derisive  regard  of  normal 
life. 


Hagar  Revelly  215 

When  she  had  finished,  Greenfield  asked  why  she  hadn't 
stayed  "  right  "  anyway,  just  for  the  good  of  it. 

"  Oh,  what  was  the  use  ?  "  she  faltered.  "  I'm  in  a 
rut  and  if  I  try  to  get  out  of  it,  I  bump  into  some  of  my 
friends,  and  instead  of  trying  to  help  me,  they  push  me 
back  again."  A  little  wearily  she  added,  "  Oh,  I  guess 
it's  no  use  any  more." 

Although  Greenfield  had  answered  her  in  monosyllables, 
she  felt  that  she  would  somehow  succeed  in  getting  him 
into  a  conversation.  Her  surprise  was  great  when  she 
saw  him  call  for  his  check. 

"  Where  are  you  going,  Ben  ?  "  she  asked. 

"  Oh,  back  to  the  rooms,  I  guess.     I'm  blue  to-night." 

Her  face  lit  up  and  her  sadness  flitted  away  on  the  in- 
stant. 

"  Say,  I'll  tell  you  what  I'll  do.  I'll  get  rid  of  the 
party  " —  she  pointed  to  the  fattish  man  who  had  been 
sitting  at  her  side  — "  and  then  I'll  take  a  little  stroll 
with  you.  What  do  you  say?  I  am  lonesome  myself  to- 
night." 

Into  Greenfield's  mind  there  chased  a  thought  that  she 
was  being  rather  clever  in  fitting  her  mood  to  his  own. 
But  he  reasoned  that  at  least  here  was  someone  who  knew 
him,  who  would  listen  to  him  and  keep  him  from  thinking 
about  himself.  And  how  he  dreaded  going  back  to  that 
room,  alone  —  and  turning  on  the  black  button  of  the 
electric  switch ! 

Already  he  could  see  the  book  he  had  thrown  on  the 
floor,  the  cigar,  half  burnt,  that  had  dropped  on  the  rug. 

"  Yes,  get  rid  of  him,"  he  said.  "  I'll  wait  five  min- 
utes outside  the  revolving  door." 

When  she  joined  him  and  they  walked  off  down  the 
lighted  street  together,  he  was  really  glad  of  her  pres- 
ence. 


Hagar  Revelly 

They  were  turning  off  into  the  street  of  his  apartment, 
when  she  said,  "  I  don't  see  why  you  live  alone,  Ben." 

"  It  isn't  right,  is  it?  "  he  asked,  feeling  a  certain 
comfort  in  her  sympathy. 

"  Why,  of  course  not.  But  I  guess  you've  got  the  bug 
too  —  that's  the  reason  and  I  know  what  that  means." 

"  You  mean  I'm  in  love  ?  "  he  asked,  with  a  faint  effort 
at  smiling. 

The  woman  seemed  very  sincere  as  she  answered,  "  Sure, 
what  other  reason  is  there.  Oh,  I've  watched  a  bunch 
of  you  men,  and  you're  all  alike  when  you  get  it." 

They  were  turning  up  the  steps. 

"  Well,"  he  confessed,  as  he  thrust  the  key  in  the  door, 
"  You  may  be  right,  Ida.  I'm  blessed  if  I  know  myself." 

Going  up  the  stairway,  she  hung  heavily  upon  his  arm. 

"Like  old  times,  isn't  it?"  she  exclaimed,  and  when 
they  gained  the  hall,  on  the  second  floor,  she  stopped  him 
to  take  his  head  between  her  hands.  Before  he  quite 
understood  her  intention,  she  had  kissed  him,  full  on  the 
lips. 

He  drew  away  from  her. 

"  Wait  here,  till  I  make  a  light,"  said  he. 

He  spoke  rather  coldly,  she  thought,  and  wondered  why 
he  could  not  have  taken  her  inside. 

However,  she  occupied  her  time  in  the  dark  hallway  by 
dusting  her  face  with  a  little  powder  rag  taken  from 
the  top  roll  of  her  stocking.  To  herself  as  she  applied 
it  fiercely  to  her  maltreated  cheeks,  she  thought :  "  He's 
not  a  bad  sort.  You've  just  got  to  know  how  to  handle 
him."  At  the  moment  she  even  wished  she  had  worn  her 
gown  of  blue  rajah  silk,  which  she  liked  so  well. 

Greenfield  came  out  into  the  hall. 

"  You  can  come  in,  now,"  and  as  she  entered,  he  pushed 
out  to  her  a  chair.  She  thought  he  had  never  before 
been  so  courteous  to*  her,  and  told  him. 


Hagar  Revelly 

"  It's  because  I  appreciate  your  sex  more,  now,"  he 
replied,  offering  her  a  cigarette. 

In  careless  fashion  she  took  one  from  his  heavily  in- 
itialed silver  case. 

"  Now,  tell  me  all  about  her,"  she  exclaimed  airily. 

"  There's  no  one  to  tell  about  —  or  rather  there  isn't, 
as  yet." 

She  tossed  the  match  out  of  the  window. 

"  Not  landed,  then,  eh.  But  tell  me,  is  she  pretty  and 
young  —  like  I  was  when  I  started  out?" 

"  Let's  talk  about  something  else,  Ida,"  said  Green- 
field, firmly. 

"  Very  well  —  dear  friend."  She  laughed  and  gave  a 
long  pause  before  "  dear  friend."  She  added  that  he 
certainly  had  the  symptoms  of  being  in  love. 

To  Greenfield,  the  woman's  question  was  only  an  echo 
of  what  he  was  asking  of  himself.  For  already  he  was 
wondering  why  he  had  admitted  to  his  apartment  this 
woman.  A  half  hour  before  he  was  longing  for  some  one, 
really  anyone,  who  would  alleviate  the  poignant  ghastli- 
ness  of  his  mood.  He  had  told  himself  that  a  greeting 
from  the  lowest  mucker  of  the  streets  would  have  been  a 
welcomed  message. 

And  now,  when  out  of  the  gloom  had  come  this  com- 
panion of  former  years,  of  whom  he  had  once  been  actu- 
ally fond,  he  could  hardly  talk  to  her.  Instead  he  no- 
ticed that  her  face  was  very  weak  and  not  pretty,  that  her 
lower  lip  drooped,  and  her  nostrils  were  strangely  dilated 
and  thinned. 

The  woman's  cigarette  had  burned  out  and  she  asked 
for  another,  saying,  as  she  left  her  chair  and  went  over 
to  him :  "  My,  but  you're  quiet,  Ben." 

"Am  I?"  he  asked. 

"  Sure,  are  you."  There  was  some  mockery  in  her 
voice. 


218  Hagar  Revelly 

Noticing  that  she  failed  to  interest  him,  she  busied 
herself  by  glancing  around  the  room,  studying  the  open 
keyboard  of  an  automatic  piano  in  one  corner,  the  blue 
canopy  over  his  bed  in  another. 

"  You're  cosy  here,  aren't  you  ?  "  she  exclaimed  rather 
casually. 

"Quite,"  he  replied. 

"  And  you  say  your  little  prayers  each  night  and  go 
to  bed  like  a  good  boy  —  what?  " 

Strangely  silent  he  remained. 

She  stopped  her  restless  loquacity  altogether,  for  a 
time,  quieting  herself  in  the  smoke  of  another  cigarette. 

Presently  she  could  no  longer  stand  the  silence,  or  his 
inertia. 

"  My  God,  Ben,  what's  the  matter  with  you?  "  she  im- 
plored. 

"  Nothing,"  he  smiled. 

She  thought  it  a  very  sickly  effort  to  appear  light- 
hearted. 

"  Then  say  something,  for  heaven's  sake.  Got  any- 
thing to  drink?  " 

He  went  over  to  a  little  cabinet  and  threw  open  the 
inlaid  mahogany  door.  "  Help  yourself,"  he  told  her, 
"  and  fix  me  a  high-ball,  too.  A  good  stiff  one  while 
you're  at  it." 

After  their  drink  they  seemed  to  get  along  much  bet- 
ter together,  and  for  a  half  hour  or  more,  were  quite 
immersed  and  forgetful  in  talking  over  old  times,  delving 
into  the  past  episodes  they  had  encountered  in  common. 

Then  the  drink  lost  its  effect  upon  Greenfield,  and  she 
saw  creeping  back  into  his  eyes  the  old  vague  disinter- 
ested look. 

It  hurt  her  a  little  bit,  as  she  thought  she  had  been 
really  amusing  him.  She  saw  too  that  after  an  hour, 
nothing  had  been  gained,  and  that  all  the  little  tricks  of 


Hagar  Revelly  219 

her  trade  had  failed.  It  disappointed  her  a  good  deal. 
She  told  herself  that  she  must  be  less  subtle. 

So  she  went  over  to  where  he  sat  on  the  rocker  and 
leaned  over  the  back  of  his  head,  putting  both  arms 
around  his  neck. 

"  Dearie,"  she  said  jauntily,  unaware  that  the  mirror 
reflected  to  Greenfield  the  weariness  in  her  face,  "  you 
are  no  companion  for  poor  me  to-night.  Maybe  we'd 
better  give  up  talking,  and  just  be  affectionate  without 
the  conversation." 

He  gently  loosened  himself  from  her   embrace. 

"  Dear  Ida.  I  didn't  bring  you  up  here  for  anything 
else  but  a  little  talk." 

She  looked  at  him  steadily. 

"  Why,  I  don't  understand,  Ben."  Her  voice  was  sud- 
denly hard  and  cold. 

In  that  moment,  before  he  answered  her  question,  all 
the  frantic  age  returned  to  her  face,  shining  through 
to  the  surface  for  all  the  powder  and  paint.  To  her 
mind  there  came  the  recollection  of  a  dismal  failure  the 
night  before ;  she  remembered  now  how  she  had  even  hesi- 
tated to  give  up  the  fattish  gentleman  in  the  restaurant, 
only  doing  it  after  deciding  that  Greenfield  would  be  bet- 
ter game.  All  evening  she  had  sat  with  that  cheerful 
smile  on  her  face  while  her  head  ached  and  back  pained 
—  and  now  her  efforts  were  proving  futile ! 

"  You're  not  —  going  to  have  me  stay  ?  "  she  begged. 

He  spoke  up  decisively.  "  No,  no."  There  was  de- 
termination in  his  tone.  "  Good  God,  no  — " 

She  layed  her  hand  on  his  shoulder. 

"  Now  don't  get  excited  like  that.  I'm  sorry  that  I'm 
not  more  alluring  to-night.  (A  regret  crossed  her  mind 
again  for  the  blue  silk  gown.)  Yes,  I'm  real  sorry. 
Though  of  course  you  know  I've  wasted  two  or  three 
good  hours,  and  — ' 


220  Hagar  Revelly 

Greenfield's  voice  was  very  gentle  when  he  spoke  to  her. 

"That's  all  right,  Ida,"  he  interrupted.  "Don't 
worry  about  that  end  of  it.  How  much  do  I  owe  you  ?  " 
He  gave  a  little  ironic  laugh.  "  You  know,  I'd  quite 
forgotten  that  I  was  hunting  for  companionship  on  a 
business  basis." 

"  I  don't  see  why  you  speak  that  way.  You  know  I've 
got  to  look  out  for  myself.  But  I  know  too  how  it  is 
if  you  care  for  somebody.  That's  what's  the  matter  with 
you.  You're  tired  of  the  old  game,  Ben.  After  all," 
she  sighed,  and  then  went  on  in  words  that  were  full  of 
longing,  "  I  guess  you're  right.  Settle  down  in  a  decent 
little  home  some  place,  have  the  little  kids  calling  you 
*  daddy.'  Oh,  God,  that's  sweet  music  when  you  come 
right  down  to  it." 

Then  the  woman  left  him  to  hide  her  feelings  by  look- 
ing out  of  the  window. 

"Ida,  come  back  here  a  minute,"  said  Greenfield. 

She  came  back  to  their  chair  and  placed  her  hand  on 
his  shoulder.  He  was  watching  some  rings  of  smoke 
from  his  cigarette  circle  up  to  the  ceiling. 

"  Ida,  do  you  see  those  rings?  Well,  I  am  just  as  able 
to  do  what  you  say  as  I  am  to  keep  those  rings  of  smoke 
from  breaking  apart.  Just  as  able,"  he  went  on,  quite 
to  himself. 

The  woman  met  his  words  in  silence.  Then  she  looked 
up,  as  if  a  new  determination  had  come  to  her. 

"We're  old  pals,"  she  asked,  "aren't  we?"  There 
was  a  certain  sincerity  in  her  question. 

"  Why,  yes." 

"  And  we  understand  just  about  Jiow  much  is  the  goods 
and  how  much  is  bluff  in  this  world,  don't  we  ?  " 

"What's  that  got  to  do—?" 

"  Oh,  wait  till  I  finish,"  she  interrupted.  "  I  want  to 
tell  you  something.  I've  been  up  here  for  a  couple  of 


Hagar  Revelly 

hours,  now,  trying  to  figure  out  some  sort  of  way  to  get 
to  you.  Understand?  Some  way  I  could  get  you  to 
come  out  of  your  grouch.  First  I  thought  I'd  let  you 
alone  but  I  saw  that  that  wouldn't  work.  Then  I  tried 
to  be  soft  and  sweet,  and  to  get  you  interested  in  me  — 
in  the  old  way  —  and  you've  kept  on  dreaming,  about 
something  else.  Am  I  right? 

"  So  I  said  to  myself,  *  Ben  brought  me  here  just  to 
try  to  fool  himself  into  believing  I  am  somebody  else.'  I 
explained  all  this  to  a  studious  chap  from  Cambridge  the 
other  night  and  he  said  it  was  —  what  you  would  call  — 
psychological.  Well,  whatever  it  may  be,  I  know  just  as 
sure  as  I  am  here  that  there  is  somebody  you  want,  and 
somebody  you  can't  get  or  haven't  got  yet.  Oh,  it's 
easy.  And  that  one  thing  is  the  one  thing  you  want. 
And  you  won't  take  anything  else." 

Greenfield  took  out  his  pocketbook.  "  Will  this  help 
you  any,  Ida  ?  "  he  asked. 

He  laid  a  greenback  before  her  on  the  table. 

She  had  already  put  on  her  black  kid  gloves,  that 
showed  at  the  ends  of  the  fingers  worn  grey  places. 

"  Well,  of  course  you  know  how  things  are,"  she  re- 
plied, hesitatingly  fingering  the  money. 

"  Oh,  I  understand  how  things   are,  Ida." 

Folding  the  bill  she  put  it  in  her  pocketbook,  and 
then  bent  down  toward  him  to  kiss  him.  As  he  sat  back 
in  his  chair,  their  eyes  met  on  a  common  level. 

"  You've  kissed  me,  Ida,"  he  said,  gazing  directly  at 
her,  before  her  lips  had  come  near  him. 

"  Oh,  all  right."  With  a  little  shrug  of  her  shoulders, 
she  arose,  without  performing  her  mission. 

For  a  moment  she  stood  awkwardly  in  the  doorway. 

"  I  guess  I'll  go  then,  Ben.  You're  not  angry,  are 
you?" 

"Angry?" 


222  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Yes." 

"  Of  course  not."  A  strange,  wistful  expression  cov- 
ered his  face.  "  I've  got  more  to  thank  you  for  than 
you  know,  Ida." 

In  the  hallway  she  still  appeared  reluctant  to  leave,  as 
if  she  felt  the  money  too  easily  earned. 

"  What's  the  matter,"  he  asked,  looking  up  as  if  he 
expected  to  find  her  gone. 

"  Nothing,  I'm  going." 

"  Good-bye,  Ida." 

Already  on  the  steps,  she  again  turned  to  ask  him  when 
he  was  coming  over  to  see  her. 

''I'm  not  coming,  Ida,"  he  called  back,  smiling. 


CHAPTER  XVIII 

THE  echo  of  her  feet  was  still  on  the  stairway,  when 
Greenfield  looked  at  his  watch.  It  was  three-thirty  in 
the  morning. 

"  Good  heavens,"  he  muttered  to  himself.  He  silently 
undressed,  and  tumbled  into  bed.  At  four  o'clock  he  lay 
pathetically  wide  awake. 

Then  he  arose,  put  on  a  dressing  gown,  and  with  grim 
determination,  went  over  to  the  writing  desk. 

Many  times  before,  he  had  thought  of  writing  Hagar  a 
letter,  had  thought  quite  often  of  the  sort  of  letter  it 
would  be;  he  had  even  worded  the  sentences  and  made 
them  full  of  expression,  so  that  it  would  bring  her  flying 
back  to  him.  Seeing  her  in  the  store  every  day  made  this 
task  a  little  difficult,  but  now  he  was  determined.  A  let- 
ter would  express  exactly  what  he  wanted  to  say,  without 
his  being  influenced  by  her  innocent  glances. 

Mechanically  he  took  the  pen  and  wrote: 

"  Dear  Hagar: 

I  wonder,  little  one,  if  you  have  ever  experienced  the  pangs 
of  loneliness  that  I  am  going  through  at  this  moment.  Oh,  if 
you  only  knew  how  I  want  you.  If  I  had  you  here,  I  would 
make  you  forget  your  little  foolish  morals.  Yes,  I'd  take  you 
in  my  arms  and  you'd  put  your  arms  around  my  neck,  and  then 
when  we  were  close,  you'd  just  forget  and  tell  me  how  happy 
you  were  that  I  br  lught  you  back. 

Think,  Hagar,  my  love,  how  glorious  it  would  be  if  we 
were  together.  In  the  morning,  I'd  let  you  sleep.  You'd  be  so 
tired  and  happy,  and  when  you  awoke,  there  would  be  placed  on 
the  little  table  beside  your  bed  some  cantaloupe  and  eggs,  and 

293 


Hagar  Revelly 

nice  steaming  coffee  and  rolls  and  then  you'd  eat  and  about  noon 
you  would  come  down  to  meet  me  and  we'd  have  lunch  together, 
and  you  would  tell  me  about  some  pretty  piece  of  lingerie  you 
were  going  to  buy. 

Oh,  my  little  sweetheart,  the  real  heaven  is  not  up  in  the 
skies,  but  concealed  in  the  lips  and  eyes  of  the  one  we  love. 

Why  can't  you  see  it?     Why  can't  we  make  it  real?  " 

He  dropped  his  pen.  What  on  earth  was  he  writing! 
The  very  thing  he  dared  not  say  to  her,  he  was  putting 
into  ink.  And  she  would  read  it  with  cold  regard  the 
next  day,  perhaps  pass  him  by  in  the  aisles  with  a  look 
of  superiority  in  her  face.  Yes,  he  could  not  humble 
himself  before  her,  and  give  her  the  "  upper  hand." 

He  tore  up  the  scribble,  and  after  some  minutes  of  in- 
decision, started  anew: 

"  My  dear  Hagar: 

It  is  after  a  good  deal  of  thought " — (at  least  he  was  on 
the  right  track.  After  all  he  would  write  just  as  he  really  felt) 
— "  that  I  write  this  note  to  you.  To-night  I  have  realized 
for  the  first  time,  that  I  have  let  you  carry  too  long  the  wrong 
opinion  of  me.  I'm  not  a  bad  man,  Hagar,  though  I  must 
surely  have  given  you  that  impression,  when  I  told  you  that  it 
was  to  be  the  one  thing  or  nothing. 

I  don't  know  why  I  put  it  that  way.  Perhaps  it  was  be- 
cause I  longed  for  you  so  when  I  was  with  you,  or  perhaps, 
though  not  likely,  it  was  because  I  thought  that  was  the  only 
way  to  get  you.  At  least  now  I  am  going  to  give  you  the  truth 
of  it,  and  I  can  fancy  your  surprise  when  you  read  what  I  am 
going  to  say.  I  can  see  you  exclaiming,  '  I  wonder  what's 
his  game  now.'  Well,  dear  little  friend,  it  isn't  a  game.  It 
is  simply  this  —  I  miss  you,  miss  you  terribly  and  I  beg  you  to 
come  back  to  me,  just  as  a  friend.  And  I  promise  you  that  it 
will  be  free  of  all  the  old  thing  entirely.  Yes,  Hagar,  only 
to  hear  you  talk  and  to  have  you  to  talk  to.  Nothing,  abso- 
lutely nothing  else?  I  swear  it, 


Hagar  Revelly  225 

You  will  wonder  what  has  come  over  me,  wonder  more  I 
suppose  what  makes  me  say  a  thing  which  to  a  man  of  my 
age,  and  who  knows  the  world  as  I  do,  sounds  like  silly  rub- 
bish. But  nevertheless  it  is  what  I  mean.  To-night,  I  am  filled 
with  loathing  of  myself  and  can  never  again  live  the  old  life. 
Even  as  I  write  this  it  makes  me  happy  to  say  it.  I  am  so 
lonely,  so  sick  of  it  all  and  am  coming  back  to  you  like  a 
penitent  schoolboy.  But  I  mean  it  this  time.  Aren't  you 
glad? 

I  know  you  will  be  happy  to  get  this  and  see  this  change  that 
you  have  worked  in  me.  I  am  sure,  too,  that  we  will  have  a 
lot  of  fun  together  now,  in  our  new  way. 

Honestly,  I  never  began  to  realize  what  it  meant  to  be  like 
this,  without  thinking  of  the  other  along  with  it.  You  can  see 
what  you  have  brought  me  to,  little  girl. 

To-morrow  night  I'll  stop  for  you  and  we'll  have  dinner. 
And  then  go  over  to  Wallack's  or  the  Broadway.  Or  would 
you  rather  go  to  the  Hippodrome? 

And  I'll  send  you  straight  to  your  bungalow  in  fairyland 
immediately  after.  You've  got  to  have  your  sleep.  God  bless 
you. 

Sincerely, 
BEN." 

When  he  had  finished  he  regarded  the  letter  for  some 
time,  wondering  at  the  truth  that  seemed  conveyed  in  its 
words.  After  all  it  seemed  that  he  really  felt  this  way 
about  Hagar.  But  it  made  him  feel  a  little  ashamed, 
and  he  offered  to  himself  an  explanation  that  it  was  really 
not  true  but  only  a  clever  effort  to  get  Hagar  back  to 
him.  However,  as  he  turned  the  note  over  and  over,  he 
felt  happier  than  he  had  been  for  months. 

The  next  afternoon  he  found  the  following  letter,  pok- 
ing its  nose  out  from  amidst  a  lot  of  letters  whose  black 
imprints,  spoke  only  of  dry  goods  and  business. 

He  tore  open  the  little  envelope  with  a  good  deal  of 
anticipation. 


226  Hagar  Revelly 

"Dear  Mr.  Greenfield: 

I  have  just  received  your  note  and  have  slipped  up  here 
to  the  waiting  room  to  answer  it.  I  am  so  sorry  to  have  to 
disappoint  you  because  after  all  it  is  so  nice  that  you  under- 
stand exactly  what  sort  of  a  girl  I  am.  However,  I  can't  help 
it  now,  because  I  am  keeping  steady  company  with  Mr.  Her- 
rick  (you  remember  the  man  I  introduced  to  you  in  the  aisle 
one  afternoon)  and  we  are  very  much  in  love  with  each  other. 

His  position  won't  allow  us  to  get  married  just  at  present, 
but  I  don't  feel  that  I  ought  to  see  anyone  else  because  he 
wouldn't  wish  me  to.  But  I  won't  ask  him. 

I  know  you'll  be  glad  to  hear  I'm  so  happy  and  I  am  awfully 
sorry  you  didn't  write  that  kind  of  a  note  sooner,  and  so  I 
guess  that  we  can't  see  each  other,  though  of  course,  we  can 
always  be  friends. 

Sincerely  yours, 

HAGAR  REVELLY. 

P.S. —  Of  course  it  won't  make  any  difference  with  my 
job  now,  will  it?  You  said  I  could  ask  any  favor  of  you. 
Anyway  I  know  that  you  are  a  good  friend  and  don't  want  to 
see  me  unhappy." 

Between  his  finger  and  thumb  Greenfield  held  it  up  and 
viewed  it  much  as  if  it  had  been  a  living  thing. 

"  Poor,  foolish  little  girl,"  he  muttered. 

And  as  he  remembered  the  swift  darting  messages  of 
passion  and  longing  that  were  such  a  part  of  her  soft, 
dark  eyes,  he  gave  an  unnatural,  wild  laugh. 

For  many  minutes  he  sat  numbly  in  the  chair  by  his 
desk,  quite  oblivious  of  his  surroundings  —  gazing  ahead 
onto  the  long  vista  of  future  loneliness. 

He  was  brought  to  his  senses  by  finding  that  tears  had 
gathered  in  his  eyes. 


CHAPTER  XIX 

IT  was  an  odd  stroke  of  fate  that  at  the  time  of  Green- 
field's greatest  suffering  from  his  loss,  Hagar  should  be 
so  deliriously  happy. 

She  was  indeed  deeply  in  love. 

The  days  that  followed  her  subjection  were  to  her  still 
more  glorious.  She  opened  her  arms  to  her  wooer  and 
he  —  pulled  back  the  curtains  that  draped  from  his  con- 
science, and  was  very  happy. 

How  the  days  and  weeks  passed  with  her.  The  little 
spring-time  flutter  of  love  found  a  welcome  haven  in  her 
soul,  and  one  day  after  the  other,  found  her  as  eager,  as 
desirous,  as  though  the  denouement  had  come  only  the 
day  before. 

Sundays  and  holidays  usually  found,  them  seeking  the 
shelter  of  the  Mallorys.  The  little  inn  on  the  sloping 
bank  of  the  Hudson  had  for  them  become  transformed 
into  a  modern  Arcadia.  At  one  time  it  was  their  little 
chalet  upon  the  steep  incline  of  some  Swiss  mountain 
slope,  another  day  the  hacienda  that  held  out  its  welcom- 
ing arms  as  they  returned  from  a  hot  tramp  through  the 
prairies.  And  then  when  night  came,  with  their  backs  on 
the  cool  grass  and  their  eyes  to  the  heavens,  Herrick 
would  pour  into  her  ears  little  madrigals,  that  seemed 
to  penetrate  into  her  very  heart,  with  their  rune  of  love. 

He  could  not  say  that  for  her  benefit  he  had  invested 
in  a  book  of  poems  — "  Choice  Poems  by  Famous  Poets  " 
—  or  could  he  confess  that  none  of  the  effusions  were  the 
result  of  the  inspiration  she  gave  him.  None  the  less, 
however,  did  his  soft  words  inspire  her,  and  she  often 

227 


228  Hagar  Revelly 

lay  enwrapped  in  a  wondrous  gaze,  too  happy  to  dare  look 
at  him. 

Now  and  then  were  there  days  when  she  could  not  see 
him,  for  some  reason  of  business  or  otherwise.  These 
periods  became  hours  of  torture  for  her. 

One  early  morning,  in  bed,  she  thought  of  a  great 
plan. 

And  after  that  on  the  days  she  could  not  see  him,  her 
devotion  was  entrusted  to  a  little  china  nudity  about  an 
inch  in  length. 

At  first  she  did  not  know  what  to  name  the  miniature 
doll,  thinking  over  several  in  succession.  She  wanted 
most  to  name  it  Frank,  but  since  the  little  figure  was  to 
be  her  confidant  and  a  receptacle  for  all  her  secrets  it 
would  never  do ;  since  all  her  secrets  would  be  about 
Frank  himself.  At  last  she  named  it  Bennie,  absolutely 
forgetful  at  the  time  why  the  name  came  familiar  to  her 
ears. 

So,  to  Bennie  was  entrusted  many  great  secrets;  and 
Bennie  never  betrayed  the  confidence.  It  was  a  wonder- 
ful help  to  pour  into  the  stone-deaf  ears  of  the  little 
figure,  her  surplus  of  love  and  happiness.  And  for  some 
months  Bennie  remained  faithfully  by  her. 

But  tragedies  come,  guised  sometimes  in  the  thinnest 
garb.  One  day,  near  the  beginning  of  winter,  the  tiny 
figure  was  tramped  underfoot  in  a  crowded  street  car. 
The  piece  of  china  had  fallen  from  her  pocketbook,  and 
in  another  moment,  was  crunched  under  the  heavy  heel  of 
a  man's  shoe. 

This  was  indeed  an  ill  omen.  For  an  intelligence  was 
imparted  to  her,  that  in  a  moment,  brought  to  her  senses, 
the  real  importance  of  a  secret  that  she  had  treated 
lightly  for  very  many  weeks. 

When  the  little  doll  had  fallen  onto  the  floor,  Hagar 
sprang  quickly  from  her  seat.  And  then  was  brought 


Hagar  Revelly  229 

back  to  it  by  a  terrific  pain  that  shot  from  the  middle 
of  her  back  downwards  into  her  limbs. 

She  was  not  entirely  innocent  of  the  strange  process 
of  nature,  that  had  gone  on  for  quite  four  months. 
Many  weeks  before  she  had  found  herself  growing  sud- 
denly stouter  about  the  waist,  had  even  to  invest  in  a  new 
skirt  and  make  larger  her  petticoat. 

But  she  had  failed  utterly  to  consider  seriously,  whether 
from  lack  of  understanding  or  plain  fear  of  self-revela- 
tion, the  condition  that  confronted  her.  Often  she  had 
stopped  to  think  about  this  new  problem,  and  for  a  time 
would  be  strangely  disturbed  in  many  ways.  Everything 
was  so  vaguely  defined,  so  perplexing. 

But  the  days  had  slipped  by,  without  her  even  daring 
to  tell  of  it  the  man  she  loved. 

A  few  months  before  she  had  ransacked  her  brain  for 
a  cause,  or  rather  an  excuse  for  her  continued  condition. 
But  that  time  too,  had  passed  off  and  more  from  igno- 
rance than  anything  else,  she  had  given  the  trouble  little 
concern. 

Indeed  one  day,  while  at  lunch,  she  came  very  near  tell- 
ing Herrick,  but  it  seemed  so  terrible  to  word  such  a 
thing,  such  a  chance  of  spoiling  the  blissful  tranquillity 
of  their  association,  that  she  let  it  go  altogether  and 
rather  dismissed  the  subject  from  her  mind. 

Then  another  month  passed,  and  though,  as  the  days 
went  by,  she  gained  a  deeper  intelligence,  a  greater  under- 
standing of  this  thing  that  troubled  her,  yet  her  under- 
standing of  the  phenomena  did  not  grow  apace  with  the 
physical  proportions  of  it. 

And  as  she  stepped  from  the  car,  and  was  pierced  by 
the  pain,  her  only  thought  was  of  her  lack  of  intelligence 
concerning  herself.  She  told  herself  that  she  might  have 
been  injured,  jerking  herself  in  the  manner  she  did. 

She  delved  no  further,  but  only  muttered :     "  Oh,  how 


280  Hagar  Revelly 

dreadfully  ignorant  I  am.     Just  think  what  I  might  hav« 
done." 

At  that  moment  she  wished  she  really  knew  "what  she 
might  have  done. 

Yet  her  thought  was  never  to  divulge  the  secret  or 
even  to  mention  it  to  Herrick,  as  the  means  of  protection. 
Somehow  everything  seemed  all  right  in  that  direction  and 
she  reasoned  that  there  was  no  need  to  worry.  As  soon 
as  Herrick  got  a  daily  expected  raise  in  his  salary,  they 
would  be  married.  It  would  be  time  enough  then,  to  tell 
him. 

But  that  pain  at  the  destruction  of  Bennie,  somehow 
altered  this  decision,  and  she  decided  she  would  tell  him, 
more  to  have  him  as  a  companion  to  share  her  troubles, 
than  anything  else.  A  thought  lurked  in  her  mind  that 
he  probably  knew  already  and  had  only  refrained  from 
telling  her  because  of  fear  that  she  might  worry. 

With  the  question  definitely  settled,  she  felt  happier, 
and  for  a  reason  which  she  could  not  explain  to  herself, 
she  decided  to  present  herself  to  him  that  evening,  in  her 
most  pleasing  gown.  Expecting  him  at  eight  o'clock, 
she  left  the  dining  table  before  the  others  had  finished 
and  rushed  upstairs  to  dress. 

But  dressing  did  not  terminate  as   she  had  thought. 

Her  black  crepe  de  chene  fitted  her  no  longer,  and 
she  could  hardly  wear  her  already  altered  tailored  suit. 

When  Herrick  came  she  was  in  no  state  to  receive  him. 
Her  temper  was  high,  she  had  cried,  and  the  stains  of 
tears  were  still  apparent  under  the  slight  coating  of 
powder  that  covered  her  face. 

When  Hagar  met  him  in  the  parlor  downstairs,  she  was 
so  shaking  with  sobs,  she  could  not  look  into  his  face. 

"  Dear,  dear,  what  on  earth  is  wrong,"  he  begged,  as 
he  greeted  her. 


Hagar  Revelly  231 

She  could  not  gather  enough  courage  to  answer  him. 
But  his  strong  arms  about  her  and  the  feel  of  his  body 
near  to  her,  was  comforting,  and  she  made  a  little  effort 
to  smile. 

"  Well,"  he  asked  patiently. 

She  buried  her  face  shamedly  in  his  arms. 

"  Goodness,  you're  queer  to-night."  He  turned  her 
face  so  that  he  could  look  into  her  eyes.  "  Now  tell  me 
what's  up,"  he  demanded,  though  his  voice  was  no  less 
kind. 

For  a  moment  Hagar  looked  directly  at  him,  then 
clutching  him  around  the  neck  she  cried :  "  Oh,  Frank, 
there's  something  —  I  can  hardly  tell  you  —  I've  known 
it  for  a  long  while.  I've  been  so  —  so  uncomfortable, 
dear  —  and  I  feared  to  tell  you,  because  I  thought  you 
might  get  angry  with  me." 

Herrick,  thinking  it  best  to  pay  little  attention  to  her 
hysteria,  placed  her  gently  beside  him  on  the  sofa. 

But  Hagar's  sobs  were  increasing  in  their  paroxysmal 
gulping.  She  moaned  steadily :  "  Oh,  Frank,  you  act 
as  if  there  was  nothing  the  matter." 

Raising  the  hands  that  covered  her  face,  he  said, 
"  Now,  little  girl,  no  more  of  this.  Tell  me,  what's  up?  " 
He  thought  for  an  instant.  "  By  gracious,  I  did  forget 
to  kiss  you." 

He  suited  the  action  to  his  words.  She  drew  away 
from  him. 

"  Oh,  it  isn't  that,"  said  Hagar,  between  her  tears. 
"  I  am  —  I  am  sick.  We  must  get  married." 

Dropping  her  shiny,  pink-tipped  little  fingers,  as  if 
they  had  been  so  many  prongs  of  hot  steel,  he  exclaimed: 
"  What  on  earth  are  you  saying,  Hagar  ?  " 

In  that  instant,  Herrick  seemed  to  scent  the  cause  of 
her  hysteria. 


Hagar  Revelly 

Hagar's  eyes  were  covered  by  her  arms  but  her  in- 
stinct told  her  that  he  was  drawing  away  from  her,  blaz- 
ing with  temper. 

And  now  she  felt  his  cruel  grasp  on  her  wrists. 

"  For  God's  sake,  tell  me  what  you  mean,  Hagar,"  he 
cried. 

Slowly  then,  he  began  to  comprehend  entirely.  His 
answer  met  in  silence  spoke  more  forcibly  than  any  word 
of  explanation  she  might  have  offered  him. 

"  You  don't  mean,  Hagar,  that  —  that  — " 

Staring  at  him,  fright  and  fear  inextricably  mingled 
in  her  face,  she  answered  him. 

"  Frank,  you  don't  mean  you  are  sorry  —  Oh,  tell  me 
you  don't  mean  that." 

The  tears  were  drying  in  her  eyes,  while  she  pulled  his 
head  down  near  to  her  own,  and  ran  her  fingers  through 
his  soft,  blonde  hair.  "  You  don't  mean,"  she  whispered, 
"  that  you're  not  glad." 

Hagar  began  to  understand  the  tumult  of  thought 
that  was  rushing  through  his  senses,  while  Herrick, 
swayed  by  a  feeling  of  pity,  did  not  give  vent  at  first 
to  the  angry  vehemence  of  his  pent-up  words;  but  at 
last  he  could  not  control  himself,  and  nearly  shouted: 
"  Do  you  mean  to  say  —  you  are  —  in  trouble?  " 

He  took  her  by  both  shoulders,  as  if  he  were  trying 
to  shake  the  truth  out  of  her.  Then  he  went  on,  "  Good 
heavens,  is  this  your  little  game.  Want  to  trap  me  —  so 
I'll  have  to  marry  you?  " 

Hagar  could  only  sob  out  his  name  in  an  imploring, 
begging  way,  while  Herrick,  seeming  to  realize  he  had 
lost  his  temper,  now  said  more  gently  to  the  girl,  "  Why 
on  earth  —  Hagar  —  didn't  you  —  take  better  care  ?  " 

The  wickedness  of  his  words  echoed  into  the  remotest 
recesses  of  her  virginal  being.  She  looked  up  into  his 
face,  muttering  between  sobs,  the  while  she  ran  her  hand 


Hagar  Revelly  233 

over  his  forehead,  "  Why,  Frank  —  dearie  —  I  don't  un- 
derstand you." 

Even  at  that  moment,  as  she  saw  the  haggardness  in 
his  eyes,  she  felt  sorry  she  had  told  him  and  made  him 
unhappy.  Even  she  wished  she  had  allowed  everything 
to  rest  as  before. 

For  a  few  minutes  they  sat  in  the  little  parlor,  both 
of  them  staring  down  at  the  floor,  each  searching  for 
an  expression  to  their  thoughts. 

At  last  his  eyes  wandered  to  her,  as  quietly  he  said, 
"  How  long  have  you  —  been  —  Hagar?  " 

At  first  she  tried  to  answer  indirectly,  then  it  appeared 
so  difficult  to  speak  about  this  hidden  thing,  that  she 
could  only  sink  back  into  the  pillows  and  bury  her  face  in 
her  hand.  Her  body  quivered  and  fluttered  like  a  leaf, 
and  he  noticed  that  the  hand  that  clung  so  frantically 
to  his  own  was  icy  cold. 

But  now  the  question  had  become  too  important  to 
be  considered  sentimentally. 

He  repeated.  "  Answer  me,  Hagar.  You've  got  to 
tell  me." 

Conquering,  only  after  a  struggle,  the  terrible  tide 
of  miserable  realization  that  had  swept  over  her,  she 
said :  "  Oh,  it's  been  four  —  or  five  months,  Frank  —  I 
don't  know." 

"  And  you  never  tried  — "  He  choked  his  words  off. 
"  You  never  told  me." 

Then  he  went  on  relentlessly.  "  What  were  you  afraid 
of?  Afraid  that  I  might  do  something,  I  suppose  " — 
he  was  talking  wildly  now  — "  so  you  waited  until  it  was 
too  late !  A  nice  game ! 

"  Thought  you'd  cinch  our  marriage?  I  see  now  what 
you  meant  about  wanting  a  baby.  .  .  .  Oh,  you're 
pretty  cute,  Hagar." 

Only    a   few   months   before,   their   conversation  had 


turned  onto  the  subject  of  maternity.  As  they  spoke  about 
it  at  that  time,  Hagar  had  mentioned  how  she  would 
like  to  be  the  mother  of  his  children.  Now,  all  the  words 
came  back  to  Herrick's  memory  and  he  used  them  most 
vindictively. 

"  Yes,  I  suppose  you  wanted  to  be  a  mother,"  he  re- 
peated, looking  hard  at  her. 

Hagar  interrupted  him  now,  for  the  first  time  wording 
her  inner  feelings. 

"  Oh,  Frank,  for  God's  sake,"  she  cried,  "  please  — 
please  —  don't  talk  in  this  way  to  me.  I  kept  it  from 
you  —  because  I  didn't  want  to  bother  you,  and  because 
at  first  I  didn't  know  what  was  wrong  myself.  I  didn't 
dare  ask  anyone  else,  you  know  that.  Oh,  you  are  so 
mean  to  me  now.  And  you  say  that  you're  not  glad. 
Why,  Frank,  I  thought  you'd  be  so  happy,  because  you 
loved  me  and  we  were  going  to  get  married.  I  thought 
it  would  mean  so  much  more  to  us  and  would  bring  us 
closer  together." 

Seeing  his  face  yield  somewhat,  she  went  on,  even  more 
desperately,  with  her  pleading.  "  Why,  darling,  it  will 
only  mean  that  we  must  get  married  a  few  months  earlier, 
that's  all.  If  you  are  not  ready  on  account  of  the  fac- 
tory, why,  what  difference  can  that  make.  I  am  making 
something  and  I'll  get  a  new  job  if  you  say  so,  and  work 
harder  and  make  more  money.  We  can  live  the  way  we 
are  right  now  —  until  you're  able  to  come  with  me." 

She  threw  herself  into  his  arms.  "  Darling,  darling," 
she  whispeiad,  "you  don't  know  how  I  love  you." 

But  Herrick  tore  himself  loose,  impatiently  telling  her 
that  she  talked  like  a  fool,  that  she  understood  absolutely 
nothing  about  what  she  was  saying. 

"  Why,  if  I  listened  to  you,  I'll  begin  thinking  it's  the 
right  thing,  too,"  he  exclaimed.  "  No,  no,  a  thousand 


Hagar  Revelly  235 

times  —  we're  in  a  fix,  and  we've  got  to  get  out  of  it. 
That  is  all  there  is  to  it." 

She  drew  back  aghast.  He  had  torn  himself  away 
from  her,  for  the  first  time. 

"  Then  you  don't  mean  that  we  are  to  get  married  ?  " 
she  gasped. 

"  Yes,  that's  what  I  mean."  His  reply  came  sullenly. 
His  face  went  into  hard  lines  that  were  utterly  new  to 
her.  "  That  is,  not  for  the  present.  We  can  see  later. 
But  certainly  not  while  this  thing  hangs  over  our  heads." 

With  his  foot  he  drew  a  chair  up  to  the  edge  of  the 
divan,  and  then  left  her  side  to  occupy  it. 

"  We've  got  to  talk  this  thing  over  in  a  businesslike, 
sensible  way,  Hagar,"  he  went  on.  "  Now,  tell  me,  do 
you  know  anyone  you  could  go  to  ?  " 

Hagar  sprang  up,  staring  at  him  with  protruding  eyes. 

"Go  to?" 

"  Yes,  someone  you've  heard  of  who  does  — " 

"  Why  Frank,  good  heavens,  you  don't  want  me  — " 
There  was  a  quiver  in  her  voice  that  had  all  the  fluttering 
hesitancy  of  innocence,  yet  the  determination  to  fight  to 
the  very  last.  Her  eyes  flashed,  her  lips  were  pressed 
tightly  together. 

"Exactly,"  he  said.  "Do  you  know  any  place  to 
go?" 

With  his  persistency,  she  seemed  to  lose  all  her  strength 
to  battle.  "  I  do  not  know  of  such  places,  Frank.  Oh, 
God—" 

Between  the  cries  that  came  from  her  breaking  heart, 
she  explained  to  him  now  how  ignorant  she  was  of  such 
things,  how  she  had  never  considered  anything  but  her 
love  for  him  and  his  love  for  her.  With  deep  sobs  she 
told  how  she  had  always  left  the  other  girls  when  they 
gathered  in  groups,  in  the  wash  room  or  the  cloak  room 


£36*  Hagar  Revelly 

at  the  store,  to  (discuss  such  things,  and  how  she  had  al- 
ways hated  to  hear  their  jokes. 

Herrick  listened  to  her,  nearly  frenzied  by  the  con- 
tagion that  spread  to  him  from  her  wounded  feelings. 
As  she  finished  off  her  explanation,  he  turned  away,  his 
hands  over  his  face,  his  brain  in  a  turmoil,  at  the  re- 
alization of  her  helplessness. 

It  would  have  made  him  braver,  he  realized,  were  she 
not  so  innocent. 

"  I  can't  believe  it,  I  can't,  I  can't,"  he  said  over  and 
over. 

After  a  good  deal  of  thought,  during  which  time  he 
paced  the  room  back  and  forth,  he  came  over  and  sat 
by  her  side.  Very  gently  he  began  to  talk  to  her. 

"  Now  listen,  Hagar.  Of  course  it  is  of  no  use  for  us 
to  fall  out  like  this,  and  for  us  to  get  all  excited  is  very 
foolish.  But  we  can't  let  this  go  on.  It  would  be  all 
right,  perhaps,  if  we  were  living  where  no  one  knew  us. 
But  here  it  is  different.  Supposing  we  should  get  mar- 
ried to-morrow.  What  would  everybody  say?  Oh,  yes, 
they  wouldn't  know  anything  —  for  a  few  months  maybe. 
But  after  that  it  would  be  open  news  to  all  the  world, 
that  we  had  lived  together  before  we  were  married.  No- 
body would  look  at  us.  We  couldn't  stay  very  long  in 
one  place,  we'd  be  disgraced  —  that  is,  you'd  be.  And 
how  would  you  like  that?  " 

He  looked  into  her  face.  And  Hagar,  seeing  some 
of  the  old  kindness  in  his  eyes  again,  answered,  "  I  wouldn't 
mind  it,  Frank,  so  long  as  I  had  you." 

She  was  much  surprised  to  find  that  he  became  some- 
what angry  again.  Arising  from  his  chair  at  her  words, 
he  walked  up  and  down  the  room  a  half  dozen  times  before 
he  could  calm  himself. 

"  Hagar,  why  don't  you  understand,"  he  implored. 
"  Either  you  are  so  blind  to  the  ordinary  ways  of  the 


Ha  gar  Revelly  237 

world  that  you  don't  grasp  it  at  all,  or  else,  you  are  — 
well,  you  are  more  in  love  with  me  than  I  am  with  you." 

"  Frank !  "  she  cried. 

"  I.  mean  —  more  than  I  am  capable  of  loving  you,  or 
anyone.  Anyway  you  don't  seem  to  see  what  people 
think  of  us.  Why,  just  think  what  would  happen.  We'll 
just  take  the  case  as  it  stands.  Say  we  got  married. 
Good  and  well.  Then  a  couple  of  months  or  so  comes 
around.  What  then?  Well,  we're  living  in  some  little 
flat  up  in  Harlem.  Some  of  the  fellows  hunt  me  up,  see 
the  kid,  know  what's  gone  on.  They'd  know  how  long 
we'd  been  married.  And  what  would  they  do?  Can't 
you  see  ?  " 

"  Oh,  Frank." 

"  Well,  they'd  accuse  me  of  marrying  you  just  —  just 
because  I  had  to  " —  he  went  on  impetuously  with  this 
new  idea  — "  not  because  I  loved  you.  Can't  you  see? 
You  wouldn't  care  for  that,  now  would  you  ?  " 

"  Not  very  much,"  she  faltered. 

"  And  then  maybe  the  boss  would  find  it  out.  I  would 
get  in  bad,  though  the  worst  thing  they'd  probably  say 
was  that  I  was  square,  and  stood  by  you.  But  how  would 
I  like  to  hear  them  say  that  if  I  loved  you.  No,  you'd 
get  the  worst  of  it  all  around.  Your  mother  and  sister 
would  find  it  out  too.  Oh,  it  would  be  hell." 

"  I'd  care  very  little  — "  Hagar  started  to  answer. 

At  that  moment  the  door  opened  and  Miss  Gillespie 
came  in,  stepping  her  way  in  precise  manner  up  to  the 
side  of  Herrick.  Her  thin,  frail  body  was  wrapped  in 
a  faded  dressing  gown,  her  pale  freckled  face,  rigidly 
set  and  determined.  For  a  time  she  looked  slowly  from 
one  to  the  other  without  saying  a  word. 

Then  Hagar  blurted  out :  "  Frank,  you  remember  Miss 
Gillespie,  Mr.  Herrick." 

"  Oh,  he   remembers  me,  little  girl,"  said  the  woman. 


238  Hagar  Revelly 

"  I've  been  listening.  I  was  just  passing  on  my  way  to 
the  bathroom,  when  something  he  said  stopped  me.  I 
know  all  that's  gone  on  in  this  room  for  the  last  half 
hour.  And  from  what  I  know,"  she  looked  bitterly  into 
Herrick's  eyes,  "  I  don't  guess  I  missed  much." 

She  took  hold  of  Herrick's  arm  saying :  "  You  go 
now.  I  want  to  talk  with  Hagar." 

Herrick  noticed  how  her  lips  were  set  and  in  a  first 
impulse  started  to  follow  her  command.  Then  he  stopped 
suddenly  and  said  to  Hagar,  "  Dear,  has  this  woman  any 
right  to  come  into  our  private  affairs?  " 

In  blind  submission  Hagar  spoke  to  Miss  Gillespie, 
after  only  a  moment's  hesitation :  "  Miss  Gillespie, 
couldn't  you  come  in  later  on?  "  while  Herrick  noticing 
the  influence  he  still  possessed  over  the  girl,  turned  back, 
encouraged  by  Hagar's  allegiance. 

But  Miss  Gillespie  was  obdurate.  "  I've  got  my  hands 
in  this  affair,  Mr.  Herrick,"  she  said  quietly,  "  and  the 
best  thing  all  around  is  for  you  to  go  home  without  any 
fuss.  Now,  I'm  talking  business." 

The  boy  stood  by  the  side  of  Hagar,  folding  back 
and  forth,  his  grey  felt  hat.  Then  he  seemed  to  suddenly 
decide  that  here  was  a  good  chance  to  get  rid  of  much 
responsibility.  He  took  a  step  towards  the  door. 

"  Shall  I  go,  Hagar?  "  he  asked. 

The  girl  looked  at  him  with  great  tears  welling  her 
eyes.  A  sob,  swelling  in  her  throat,  stifled  whatever  word 
she  had  wished  to  give  him. 

"Well,  I'll  go."  Then  he  took  her  hand  and  held  it 
for  a  moment.  "  Now  don't  worry,  little  girl,"  he  said, 
as  he  went  through  the  doorway. 

Leaving  the  room,  he  closed  the  door  behind  him  with 
rude  strength,  as  if  to  show  Miss  Gillespie  that  he  still 
had  some  rebellion  left  in  him. 


Hagar  Revelly  239 

"  God,  what  a  cad ! "  said  the  woman,  while  the  furni- 
ture in  the  room  shook. 

Hagar  turned  away  from  her,  and  leaned  over  the 
mantel,  with  her  head  buried  in  her  arms. 

Miss  Gillespie  walked  over  and  raised  the  girl's  head. 

"  Brace  up,  dear,"  said  she,  kindly.  "  We've  got  a 
situation  to  face  that  demands  something  more  than 
tears."  Half  to  herself  she  added :  "  And  to  think  how 
I  was  fooled." 

"  It's  dear  of  you  to  come  in,"  murmured  Hagar. 

"  Well,  I  couldn't  stand  out  there  hearing  him  bully 
you." 

"But  it  isn't  his  fault,"  Hagar  pleaded.  "You 
mustn't  blame  him.  He  was  right.  I  should  have  told 
him,  I  guess." 

Miss  Gillespie  stood  gazing.  "  Oh,  you  poor  child, 
you  don't  blame  him  for  anything,  do  you?" 

"  I  blame  myself  more." 

"  And  don't  you  blame  him  ?  " 

Hagar  dried  her  eyes  with  her  tiny  blue  handkerchief. 
"  Is  he  any  more  to  blame  than  I  am?  "  she  asked  softly. 

"  You're  a  fine  champion  for  our  sex,"  Miss  Gillespie 
answered,  letting  a  smile  break  through  her  face.  Even 
Hagar  had  to  laugh  a  little.  But  in  a  moment  Miss  Gil- 
lespie became  more  serious.  "  Yes,  you  think  he  has  a 
right  to  throw  all  the  blame  on  you.  Well,  this  may  be 
a  funny  world,  Hagar,  but  you're  the  strangest  thing 
I  ever  met.  You  intend  letting  him  out  of  it  alto- 
gether? " 

"  Oh,  Miss  Gillespie,  I  don't  know  what  to  do.  I'm 
not  able  to  think  now.  Everything's  so  terrible." 

Miss  Gillespie  put  her  arms  around  her  and  drew  the 
tearful  face  close  to  her  lips. 

"  Dear  Hagar,  tell  me  something,"  she  asked.     "  Do 


240  Hagar  Revelly 

you  love  this  man,  after  he  has  told  you  that  he  wouldn't 
marry  you  ?  " 

"  He  hasn't  said  that,"  she  flared. 

"  He  said  quite  as  much." 

"  But  not  that.  And  I  do  love  him.  Oh,  you  can't 
know  how  happy  we've  been." 

"  You  poor  dear,"  whispered  the  woman. 

"  And  I  know  how  he  feels  with  me  now,"  Hagar  con- 
tinued. "  Why,  he  isn't  really  the  one  to  blame  after  all. 
I  guess  I  should  have  known  better.  And  then  I  don't 
see  what  this  has  got  to  do  with  marriage  anyway.  Mar- 
riage isn't  just  raising  children.  It's  being  altogether, 
and  having  each  other  all  the  time." 

Over  an  hour  later,  after  the  woman  had  put  Hagar 
to  bed  and  covered  her  eyes  with  cold  towels  a  good  many 
times,  did  they  again  get  back  upon  the  subject. 

Hagar  was  much  quieted  now  while  Miss  Gillespie 
marvelled  at  the  strange  composition  of  this  child  who 
seemed  to  take  her  distress  so  easily. 

"  There  is  many  a  woman,  Hagar,"  said  Miss  Gillespie, 
while  she  was  busy  over  the  girl,  "  who  doesn't  want  to 
have  children  at  first,  but  who  would  give  half  her  life 
to  have  a  child  when  it  is  too  late.  You  see,  we  women 
get  older  more  quickly  than  men,  and  we've  got  to  have 
that  little  chain  of  flesh  around  their  necks,  or  they'll 
forget  what  we've  given  them." 

"  But  haven't  we  got  as  much  fun  from  them  as  they 
have  from  us?  "  asked  Hagar,  earnestly. 

"  Child,  child,  do  you  think  that  marriage  means  only 
having  fun?  "  She  studied  the  face  of  the  girl,  then 
went  on  in  a  deliberate  way :  "  Yes,  I  guess  you  do, 
that's  what  a  good  many  children  like  you  get  married 
for.  And  how  long  do  you  think  the  fun  lasts?  Mar- 
ried people  after  a  while  realize  that  marriage  means 
something  more  than  fun.  And  pretty  soon  they  begin 


to  hunt  around  for  that  something  and  can't  find 
it." 

Hagar  thought  that  Miss  Gillespie  was  settling  into 
a  discussion  of  the  present  trouble.  And  at  her  first 
words  Hagar  cried :  "  Oh,  please,  Miss  Gillespie,  don't 
let's  talk  of  that  yet.  Honestly,  I'm  afraid  I'll  go  to 
pieces  if  you  do."  Suddenly  she  thought  of  a  new  argu- 
ment and  hurried  into  it  to  keep  the  woman's  words  from 
forming. 

"  Tell  me,  Miss  Gillespie,"  she  asked ;  "  why  has  a 
woman  the  right  to  make  a  man  share  something  he 
doesn't  want  to  share?  " 

"  You  mustn't  think  like  that." 

"  But  supposing,"  Hagar  thought  on,  "  that  a  man 
fought  against  —  loving  you  as  hard  as  he  could  ? 
What  then?" 

"  Is  that  Herrick's  case  ?  "  asked  Miss  Gillespie. 

Hagar  answered,  "  Yes,"  remembering  his  stern  set 
eyes  and  drawn  mouth  as  he  would  leave  her  at  night. 
"  I  know  Frank  loved  me  all  along,"  she  added.  "  And 
now  I'm  not  going  to  make  him  so  unhappy,  even  before 
we're  married." 

"  Then  you  think  he  intends  marrying  you,  do  you?  " 

"  Why  of  course.  We've  never  spoken  of  anything 
different.  This  hasn't  got  anything  to  do  with  mar- 
riage." 

Miss  Gillespie  walked  restlessly  about  the  room  for  a 
long  time.  Then  she  went  over  and  turned  off  the  gas. 
The  full  moon  lit  up  the  room  with  a  warm  yellowish 
glow. 

"  I  am  going  to  say  something  to  you,  child,"  she 
began ;  "  I  think  you'll  hear  it  better  in  the  dark.  We're 
not  getting  down  to  the  facts.  In  the  first  place  you 
see  I  haven't  said  a  word  of  blame  about  this.  And 
then,  when  I  do  ask  you  one  question,  you  answer  it  by 


Hagar  Revelly 

asking  me  another.  This  is  serious,  so  serious  that  you 
have  no  conception  of  its  meaning.  You  are  reasoning 
with  a  baby's  mind  and  are  confronted  with  the  problem 
of  a  woman.  .  .  .  We've  got  to  get  down  to  the 
main  facts.  Tell  me,  has  anyone  explained  to  you  what 
this  means,  the  entrusting  to  you  of  a  living  thing  that 
some  day  will  be  born  to  grow  up  into  a  being  that  lives 
and  breathes  just  like  you  do?  Has  anyone  ever  told 
you  that?" 

"  Why,  no,"  hesitated  Hagar,  not  knowing  exactly  the 
idea  which  Miss  Gillespie  was  trying  to  bring  out. 

"  Well,  all  right,  no  one  has  told  you.  So  much  the 
worse.  It's  a  thing  that  they  ought  to  teach  in  every 
school  of  the  land.  It's  no  disgrace  to  talk  about  it. 
It's  life,  it  means  happiness  to  you  and  me,  and  it  means 
wrecked  lives  and  rotten  living.  It's  certainly  more  im- 
portant than  anything  else  they  could  teach.  Well,  this 
is  how  it  stands."  She  took  a  deep  breath.  "  We,  in 
ourselves,  only  amount  to  as  much  as  we  can  give  —  and 
we  women  have  been  given  a  mission.  It  is  through  a 
woman  only  that  the  world  can  be  kept  going,  can  be  kept 
filled  by  human  beings.  Oh,  it's  a  big  thing,  Hagar. 
The  most  glorious,  God-given  right  in  all  the  world,  is 
to  be  able  to  give  birth  to  a  child.  And  it's  a  sacred 
thing,  too,  Hagar. 

"  Well,  people  don't  think  of  this,"  she  continued. 
"  All  the  glory  is  taken  away  by  the  laws.  But  it  is  the 
only  way  they  can  do  it.  So  they  have  a  law  that  if  you 
kill  this  thing,  which  isn't  even  born  yet,  it's  murder  — 
and  they  punish  you  for  murder." 

"  Murder ! "  repeated  the  startled  Hagar  after  her. 

"  Yes,  child,  murder.  It's  the  only  way  they  can  keep 
people  from  doing  things  like  this  boy  Herrick  is  think- 
ing of  doing.  Yes,  it  is  unfortunate  that  the  minute  you 
make  a  law,  people  don't  settle  down  to  think  how  they 


Hagar  Revelly  243 

are  going  to  live  up  to  it,  but  how  they  are  going  to 
get  around  it.  And  there  you  are.  This  glorious  hal- 
lowed privilege  is  made  so  that  the  police  become  the 
guardian  angels,  instead  of  the  Almighty  Father.  And 
there's  no  two  ways  about  it,  which  may  be  a  good  thing 
after  all.  You've  got  to  live  up  to  the  law.  If  you  don't 
you  commit  a  crime  against  God  and  against  the  State, 
too.  Now,  you  don't  want  to  be  a  criminal,  do  you,  Ha- 
gar?  » 

"  Good  heavens,  how  you  scare  me,  Miss  Gillespie,  talk- 
ing so  hard  like  that,"  Hagar  cried,  grasping  the  woman's 
hand. 

"  I'm  telling  you  the  plain  truth." 

"  Then,  we  are  committing  a  crime  if  the  child  isn't 
born?" 

"  Sure." 

"  But  supposing  —  that  —  that  the  police  don't  find  it 
out?  Is  there  a  way  to  stop  it  the  way  Frank  says?" 

"  Yes,  perhaps,  but  if  you  are  caught,  everybody  con- 
cerned goes  to  jail." 

"  Oh,  how  terrible,  how  terrible ! " 

"  Yes,  Hagar,  it  is  terrible." 

Hagar,  trying  hard  to  present  the  case  so  that  in  her 
own  eyes,  there  would  be  better  opportunity  to  protect 
Herrick,  said :  "  But  supposing,  Miss  Gillespie,  I  don't 
do  —  this  crime,  what  then  ?  If  I  have  the  child,  Frank 
says  he  won't  marry  me." 

"  Hagar  —  you  are  a  fool,"  said  Miss  Gillespie  sternly. 

Then  she  relented,  as  she  saw  the  beautiful  young  face 
redden,  and  the  dark  limpid  eyes  fill  with  tears.  She 
hugged  the  child  to  her  breast. 

"  Don't  cry,  kiddie,  I'm  only  trying  to  pay  off  a  debt 
—  for  my  past  sins,  I  guess,"  the  woman  said  brokenly. 
"  You  just  go  to  sleep.  I'll  see  you  to-morrow  evening 
right  after  work.  But  you  must  remember,  dearie,  that 


you  do  owe  more  to  God  than  you  do  to  Herrick  or  your- 
self. You  will  suffer  more  if  you  don't  think  of  this." 

It  was  a  woeful  night  for  poor  Hagar.  Maudlin 
dreams  beset  her,  or  else  wide-awake  misery,  and  she 
prayed  hysterically  all  through  the  night  for  dawn  to 
come.  When  the  faint  grey  of  morning  began  touching 
the  green  shade  of  the  window,  she  felt  as  if  a  year's 
vigil  had  passed. 

Miss  Gillespie  went  to  work  quite  early  in  the  morn- 
ing. And  Hagar  felt  that  another  scene  had  been  averted, 
for  Herrick  came  only  a  few  minutes  after  the  little 
woman  had  left. 

When  she  met  him  in  the  parlor,  he  took  her  in  his 
arms,  in  a  long  tumultuous  embrace. 

"  Poor  dearie,"  he  cried,  guiltily,  as  she  came  into  the 
parlor,  "  I  was  mean  to  you  last  night.  But  we'll  fix 
it  all  up  to-day,  and  then  we'll  be  happy  again." 

"  I  want  to  be  happy  so  badly,  Frank,"  she  said,  as  they 
stood  regarding  each  other. 

"  Well,  don't  you  worry,  we'll  have  a  lot  of  happy 
days  yet.  Now,  I've  been  thinking  all  night,  Hagar," 
he  went  on ;  "I  suppose  you  have  too  — " 

"  Yes,  I  have.     I  couldn't  sleep  a  bit  all  night." 

"  What  did  you  think  of?  " 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know,  I  pretty  nearly  went  crazy." 

"  Well,  it  will  be  all  over,  soon.  We'll  just  get  busy 
right  away." 

She  perceived  in  his  face  at  that  moment,  a  peculiar 
expression  that  frightened  her. 

"  You  mean  that  we  —  that  we  —  should  do  some- 
thing? "  she  begged. 

"  Yes,  but  don't  be  scared."  Nearly  whispering  into 
her  ear,  he  added :  "  I've  got  the  name  of  three  good 
ones  to  go  to  already." 

All  the  anguish  that  had  risen  through  Miss  Gilles- 


Hagar  Revelly  245 

pie's  words,  and  had  tortured  her  through  the  long  night, 
now  came  back,  surging  heedlessly  through  her  being. 

"  Oh,  Frank,  what  will  they  do  to  me?  Will  they  hurt 
me?" 

"  Don't,  kiddie,"  he  said  rather  lightly ;  "  we'll  see 
about  that  when  the  time  comes.  First,  I'm  going  to 
take  you  to  see  a  Dr.  Neugarde,  and  see  what  he  says. 
Maybe  he'll  do  it  for  us.  Then  it  will  be  easy  sailing. 
In  a  few  days,  we  can  go  up  to  the  Mallorys  and  have  a 
celebration." 

"  But,  Frank  — "  Hagar's  eyes  were  choked  with  tears ; 
she  was  making  a  valiant  effort  to  control  herself. 

Herrick  was  kinder  than  ever.  "  Don't,  old  girl,"  he 
said  softly.  "  You  leave  it  all  to  me.  I'll  take  care  of 
you."  After  a  moment's  hesitation,  he  asked  earnestly: 
"  Do  you  love  me  ?  " 

"  Oh,  Frank,  of  course." 

"Well  —  that's  all  that's  necessary.  I'll  do  the 
rest." 

His  tone  conveyed  so  much  finality  and  decisive  force, 
there  seemed  no  reprieve  in  his  words. 

She  did  as  he  bade  her.  After  a  few  more  words,  in 
which  time  Herrick  was  more  ardent  than  ever  before, 
she  left  him  and  went  upstairs,  and  with  trembling  cold 
fingers  put  on  her  coat  and  hat. 

"  You  promise  to  take  care  of  me,  Frank?  "  she  begged 
falteringly,  as  she  rejoined  him. 

"  Of  course,  I  promise." 

Herrick  hurried  her  out  of  the  house,  and  they  were 
well  on  the  way  to  the  office  of  Dr.  Neugarde  before  he 
gave  her  an  opportunity  to  express  any  more  hesitation 
at  the  undertaking. 

They  had  already  alighted  from  the  street  car,  and 
were  turning  a  corner  into  the  little  street  where  the  doc- 
tor lived,  when  Hagar  clutched  his  arm. 


246  Hagar  Revelly 

"  You're  sure  we're  doing  right,  Frank  ?  "  she  asked 
tremblingly. 

"  Why,  of  course,  Neugarde  is  one  of  the  best  in  town 
—  if  he  will  do  it." 

Hagar  walked  along  silently  by  his  side- 

After   some  thought,   she  asked: 

"Why  shouldn't  he  do  it,  Frank?" 

"  Oh  —  he  may  be  too  busy  —  or  want  too  much." 

"  How  much  will  it  cost  ?  " 

"  Well,  that  is  according  to  whom  you  go  to.  I  guess 
if  you've  got  a  lot  of  money,  and  they  know  it,  they'd 
soak  you  pretty  good,  but  I  won't  pay  more  than  twenty- 
five  dollars." 

"  Does  it  cost  so  much  as  that  ?  " 

"  If  you  go  to  the  good  ones,  it  does,  and  we  won't 
run  any  chances.  I'm  too  fond  of  you  for  that."  He 
gave  her  hand  an  affectionate  squeeze. 

It  was  after  nine  o'clock  before  they  gained  admit- 
tance to  Dr.  Neugarde's  inner  office.  The  doctor  was  a 
man  of  perhaps  fifty  years,  with  heavy  elliptical  spec- 
tacles over  his  eyes  and  an  odd  semi-circular  scar  across 
his  mouth  and  chin. 

"  Good  morning,  Dr.  Neugarde,"  said  Herrick,  as  he 
pushed  Hagar  into  the  room  ahead  of  him. 

The  doctor  answered  quietly,  "  Good  morning." 

Being  calmly  scrutinized  by  the  physician  disturbed 
Herrick  for  a  time,  and  he  was  very  apparently  at  a  loss 
for  words  to  explain  his  mission. 

At  last  he  gained  courage  and  said :  "  You  are  a 
specialist  for  women,  aren't  you?  " 

"  I'm  a  gynecologist,  yes.  Take  a  seat,"  replied  the 
physician. 

Herrick  started  talking  immediately,  while  Hagar  sat 
at  the  doctor's  side.  It  confused  Herrick  even  more  when 


Hagar  Revelly 

he  saw  the  doctor's  eyes  roam  restlessly  to  the  face  of 
the  girl. 

"  Well,"  Herrick  commenced,  "  I've  —  I've  brought  — 
my  wife  to  see  you,  doctor.  We  are  not  desirous  of  hav- 
ing any  children,  and  so  we  thought  we  would  3ee  you 
about  it." 

"  How  long  have  you  been  married  ?  "  the  physician 
asked,  noticing  at  that  moment  that  Hagar's  face  be- 
came drawn  and  pallid. 

"  About  a  year." 

"  Who  sent  you  to  me?  " 

The  physician's  questions  confused  Herrick.  He  had 
not  expected  to  be  subjected  to  such  an  interview. 

"  Why,  nobody,  I  just  heard  of  you." 

"You  heard  that  I  do  this  kind  of  work?" 

Herrick  was  a  little  angered.  "  Oh,  no,  only  just  that 
you  are  a  specialist  for  women." 

"  And  nobody  sent  you  ?  " 

"  No,  sir,  nobody." 

"  Then  how  did  you  hear  of  me?  " 

"  Why,  I  don't  know.  I  just  inquired  around-  I 
think  maybe  it  was  in  some  drug  store." 

Dr.  Neugarde  rose  slowly  from  his  chair  and  took 
hold  of  Hagar's  hand. 

Very  gently  he  asked,  "  What  is  your  name  ?  " 

Herrick  reddened,  but  did  not  notice  the  full  meaning 
of  the  physician's  subtle  question.  This  was  indeed  a 
point  that  had  been  overlooked. 

However,  Hagar  startled  Herrick,  even  herself,  by  an- 
swering spontaneously,  "  Mrs. —  Mrs.  Kennedy,  doctor." 

The  doctor  turned  to  question  her  directly  There 
was  a  playful  smile  hovering  about  his  mouth. 

"  Well,  Mrs.  Kennedy,  how  long  have  you  been  in  your 
condition  ?  "  he  asked  gently. 


248  Hagar  Revelly 

Hagar  tried  to  answer,  but  something  clutched  at  her 
throat.  She  could  only  turn  away  and  hide  her  face  in 
her  hands. 

Herrick  came  over  to  her  and  said  in  words  that  were 
tinged  with  some  anger,  "  Now  don't  give  way  to  your- 
self this  way,  Hagar."  Then  to  the  doctor,  he  said: 
"  We  don't  know  exactly.  It  has  been  several  months." 

"  And  you  didn't  think  of  such  a  thing  as  this 
before?  " 

Hagar  started  to  reply,  but  Herrick  was  the  first  to 
speak,  blurting  out :  "  Sure,  doctor,  I  told  her  about  it 
all  the  time  —  but  we  just  neglected  it,  that's  all." 

The  physician  walked  over  to  Herrick's  side. 

"  Well,  young  man,"  he  began,  "  take  the  dear  little 
wife  back  to  your  home  and  thank  God  you're  so  lucky ! " 

"Why,  what  do  you  mean?" 

"  I  mean  —  that  you  are  a  lucky  boy  to  have  such  a 
beautiful  girl  for  a  wife."  He  looked  kindly  at  Hagar. 

Herrick  showed  his  perplexity.  "  Then  you  won't  do 
anything,  doctor?  " 

The  physician  turned  on  him  angrily.  "  Why,  abso- 
lutely not." 

"  But  it's  all  right.     We're  married." 

"  I  don't  question  you." 

"  Then  I  can't  see  why  you  refuse.  I'll  pay  twenty- 
five  dollars  cash." 

A  sudden  thought  seemed  to  come  to  Herrick's  mind, 
now.  "  Doctor,  it  isn't  because  it  is  too  late,  is  it  ?  " 

The  doctor's  face  relaxed  somewhat  from  its  former 
sternness. 

"  Well.  It  is  probably  pretty  late  to  (do  the  kind  of 
despicable  business  about  which  you  have  approached  me. 
However,  so  far  as  that  goes,  for  me,  my  young  friend, 
it  is  always  too  late.  I  don't  dabble  in  this  kind  of  busi- 
ness." 


Hagar  Revelly  249 

"  You  mean  if  there  was  danger  of  her  losing  her  life, 
you  wouldn't  do  it  ?  " 

The  doctor  asked  Hagar  to  stand  up,  and  for  a  mo- 
ment he  studied  her  well-rounded  hips  and  full  bust. 

After  only  a  moment's  scrutiny,  he  said :  "  I  think  I 
can  easily  say,  without  further  examination,  that  she'll 
have  no  trouble." 

"  Then  there  is  no  more  to  do  ?  "  questioned  Herrick. 

Dr.  Neugarde  smiled.  "  Yes,  young  man  —  get  out  of 
my  office."  He  walked  over  and  opened  the  door  for  them, 
then  went  back  to  his  desk  and  engaged  himself  in  some 
work. 

There  was  a  moment  spent  in  contemplation,  and  Her- 
rick sulked  out  of  the  room,  dragging  Hagar  with  him. 

They  were  dismissed.  And  Herrick's  temper  was  not 
cooled  by  the  interview. 

"  I  wonder  if  the  old  fool  knew,"  he  said  to  Hagar,  as 
they  gained  the  street.  Then,  "  Oh,  I  guess  he  did,  but 
never  mind." 

Hagar  ventured  the  information  that  perhaps  they  had 
not  offered  enough,  while  Herrick  took  a  slip  of  paper 
from  out  his  pocketbook.  He  showed  her  the  first  of 
three  names  he  had  written  upon  it. 

Mrs.  H.  D.  Delabar, 

Midwife. 
—  Second  Ave. 

Hagar,  with  increased  alarm,  saw  him  study  the  ao!- 
dress. 

A  fresh  surging  of  fear  swept  over  her.  She  pulled 
at  his  arm,  crying,  as  she  held  back :  "  Oh,  Frank,  for 
God's  sake,  I  can't  go,  I  can't,  I  can't.  Didn't  you  see 
the  doctor?  He  knew,  and  I  can't,  I  won't,  because  it  is 
a  terrible  crime." 


250  Hagar  Revelly 

Herrick  looked  at  her  with  a  glance  that  presaged  the 
losing  of  his  temper. 

"  Miss  Gillespie  has  been  talking  to  you,  I  suppose,"  he 
answered. 

"  She  told  me  a  good  deal,"  affirmed  Hagar. 

"  Then  you  care  more  for  Miss  Gillespie  than  you  do 
for  me,  do  you?  " 

His  argument  bore  home.  Reluctantly,  feebly,  but 
without  a  protest,  she  dragged  along  by  his  side,  like  a 
little  old  woman,  until  they  reached  the  number  on  Second 
Avenue. 

"  You  wait  here  until  I  take  a  look  at  the  place,"  he 
said,  disappointedly,  as  they  found  the  business  abode  of 
Mrs.  Delabar  to  be  a  decrepit  two-story  brick  building, 
ready  at  any  moment  to  tumble  to  the  ground. 

"  I  won't  make  out  why  I  came  at  first,"  he  said.  "  I 
will  just  ask  her  a  few  questions.  I  can  tell  by  that  if 
it  is  all  right." 

Leaving  her  standing  on  the  sidewalk,  fearsome  and 
wondering,  he  went  up  the  dingy  stairway.  About  Hagar 
were  a  half  dozen  dirty-faced  children,  playing  like  little 
kittens  in  the  gutter. 

In  a  moment  he  came  back. 

"  I  believe  it  is  all  right.  I'm  not  struck  with  the  looks 
of  the  place,  but  the  woman  talked  as  if  she  knew  her 
business." 

Automatically  Hagar  followed  his  bidding.  Slowly 
they  ascended  to  the  second  story  of  the  delapidated  build- 
ing, first  having  to  go  back  through  a  long  hallway,  that 
had  on  one  side  a  combination  butcher-shop  and  grocery 
store,  and  on  the  other  side  a  Chinese  laundry. 

When  they  reached  the  top  of  the  stairway,  a  tall,  gaunt 
negress  ushered  them  into  a  little  reception  room.  Mrs. 
Delabar  didn't  come  in  for  a  few  minutes  and  Herrick 
went  over  to  the  window  while  Hagar  sat  down  immediately 


Hagar  Revelly  251 

under  a  nervous,  chirping  canary,  that  flitted  back  and 
forth  in  its  little  prison  cage. 

Soon  Mrs.  Delabar  came  in. 

She  too,  was  very  thin  and  surveyed  the  pair  suspi- 
ciously. 

"  Mrs.  Delabar,  we've  come  to  see  you  in  regard 
to  my  wife,"  began  Herrick  —  rather  decisively  this 
time. 

The  woman  only  looked  at  him  silently.  Herrick  went 
on :  "  And  we  thought  we'd  come  and  see  you  about  the 
case.  I  was  told  that  you  are  competent." 

The  woman's  eyes  seemed  to  brighten,  but  there  was  a 
dulness,  a  sadness  in  them  that  spoke  of  a  fire  long  ex- 
tinguished. Just  as  she  was  to  answer  Herrick,  a  little 
crippled  youngster  with  a  bright,  happy  face  and  curly 
hair,  ran  into  the  room. 

"  S-sh,  go  back  to  the  kitchen,"  whispered  the  woman, 
as  she  patted  the  child  on  the  head.  Then  she  turned  to 
Hagar  and  Herrick,  and  said,  "  Hip-joint  disease,  poor 
child."  When  the  door  was  shut  after  the  boy,  she  re- 
joined them,  saying,  "  I'm  sorry  to  interrupt  you.  Please 
go  on." 

"  Oh,  that's  all  right,"  Herrick  replied,  still  retaining 
his  positive  manner.  "  We  only  wanted  to  see  you  about 
it  now,  find  out  what  you'd  charge,  and  so  forth." 

"  That's  according  to  the  length  of  the  confinement, 
and  how  much  you  want  me  to  do  afterwards,"  replied 
Mrs.  Delabar  —  hesitating  to  start  first  on  the  money 
part  of  the  agreement. 

Herrick  spoke  up,  "  Oh,  we'd  want  you  to  go  right 
ahead  with  it  until  everything  was  all  right." 

"  Well,"  said  the  woman,  "  I'm  not  so  busy  now,  and 
would  like  to  have  the  case  very  much.  My  time  isn't 
very  full  for  the  next  three  or  four  months,  so  whenever 
you  expect  to  be  ready,  you  could  let  me  know." 


252  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Why, —  we're  ready  now,  right  away,"  the  boy  ex- 
claimed earnestly. 

The  woman  surveyed  Hagar  closely,  apparently  puzzled 
at  Herrick's  words. 

"  Dear  child,"  she  then  said  to  Hagar,  "  you  mustn't 
lace  so  tightly.  You  hardly  show  a  sign." 

"  Oh,  I'm  only  —  it's  still  a  few  months  before  — " 
Hagar  confessed  with  a  desire  to  show  that  she  was  not  so 
ignorant  as  the  woman  probably  thought. 

Though  neither  Hagar  nor  the  boy  beside  her  under- 
stood the  strange  manner  that  came  over  the  woman  at  this 
moment,  they  did  not  have  to  wait  long  for  elucidation. 

She  turned  to  Herrick  with  set  jaws. 

"  I  thought  you  said  you  expected  the  time  right 
away  ?  " 

"  I  meant  we  were  ready,"  he  answered. 

"So  —  you  wanted  me  to  do  a  criminal  abortion?  Is 
that  it?  " 

Herrick  winced  as  she  spoke  the  name,  and  at  her  lack 
of  delicacy  in  expressing  it. 

"  We  want  to  have  the  matter  attended  to  right  away," 
he  said  firmly.  "  We  were  afraid  my  wife  wasn't  strong 
enough  to  have  a  child." 

"  Well  —  you'll  have  to  go  elsewhere."  Mrs.  Delabar's 
eyes  were  bright  with  anger.  Arising,  she  went  over  and 
opened  the  door,  and  at  the  same  time,  said,  with  a  little 
bitterness  in  her  voice,  "  Thank  God,  my  hands  are  clean, 
even  if  my  pocket  book  is  empty." 

Hagar  had  walked  quickly  out  into  the  little  landing  of 
the  stairway. 

But  Herrick  hesitated,  as  if  he  wished  to  debate  the 
question  with  her. 

"  You've  struck  the  wrong  place,  young  man,"  the 
woman  went  on,  as  he  hesitated  to  leave.  "  You'll  find  a 
lot  who  will  do  it.  There  are  a  lot  of  people  who  make 


Hagar  Revelly  253 

their  living  doing  this  thing.  It's  making  New  York  into 
a  hell-hole.  And  they've  got  police  protection  too.  But 
whoever  sent  you  here,  sent  you  to  the  wrong  place. 
Good  day,  sir." 

And  again,  they  were  dismissed. 

Going  down  the  steps,  Herrick  thought  to  himself:  "I 
should  have  asked  her  the  names  of  those  other  places." 

But  he  fished  back  into  his  pocket  book  for  the  little  slip 
of  yellow  paper. 

"We're  having  some  time,  aren't  we?"  he  said  to  Ha- 
gar, with  a  laugh. 

"  I'll  only  go  to  one  more  place,"  she  murmured.  Her 
tone  rang  cold,  full  of  bitterness  and  despair.  "  I'm  sick 
of  this  disgusting  business." 

Herrick  counselled  her  to  be  calm,  saying  that  theirs 
was  only  a  duty  that  lay  on  ahead  of  many  hundreds  of 
men  and  women  each  day.  Reluctantly  she  gave  in  to 
him. 

They  approached  the  second  midwife,  a  stout  colored 
lady,  on  Third  Avenue. 

The  interview  was  short,  very  short. 

"  I'm  willing  to  do  the  business,  but  not  on  a  case  so 
far  advanced,"  she  told  them.  "  I've  got  to  look  out  for 
number  one.  I'm  sorry,  sir,  but  it's  too  late,  and  you 
won't  find  anybody  else  —  that's  got  any  sense." 

In  a  frenzy  of  disappointment,  Herrick  dragged  the 
girl  across  the  alley-like  street,  through  the  throngs  of 
drunken  men  and  ragged  anaemic  women,  to  the  third 
place,  the  last  on  his  list. 

And  they  received  the  same  answer. 

The  woman,  nearly  a  counterpart  of  Mrs.  Delabar, 
"  would  be  glad  to  do  it,  but  it  was  too  late." 

"  Then  what  are  we  to  do  ?  "  begged  Hagar,  as  they 
stumbled  along  the  sidewalk. 

"  Oh,  we'll  find  somebody,"  he  replied,  somewhat  hope- 


Hagar  Revelly 

lessly.  "  I  guess  a  thing  like  this  has  got  to  be  done  in  a 
hospital." 

They  walked  the  entire  way  home,  both  overwhelmed  by 
the  calamity  that  now  engulfed  them,  though  in  Hagar's 
mind  lay  a  thought  that  she  was  thankful  for  the  turn 
events  had  taken. 

"  He'll  know  now  that  I  was  at  least  willing  to  do  as  he 
asked,"  she  kept  saying  to  herself. 

It  was  nearly  noontime  when  they  reached  her  steps  and 
as  Herrick  was  obliged  to  hurry  back  to  the  factory,  she 
trudged  alone  up  the  stairway,  immersed  in  a  feeling  of 
isolation  and  despair. 

On  reaching  her  room,  she  found  a  little  white  envelope 
laying  face  upwards  on  her  dressing  table.  She  opened  it 
quickly  and  searched  for  the  signature.  It  was  from 
Miss  Gillespie.  She  read: 

"  Dear  Hagar: 

I  could  not  get  you  over  the  telephone,  and  so  am  sending  this 
note  by  special  messenger.  Don't  come  near  the  store  until  I 
see  you.  If  you  do,  Greenfield  will  question  you,  and  make 
you  think  I  told  him  all.  However,  he  knows  absolutely  noth- 
ing, though  I  have  had  a  quarrel  with  him  and  have  given  up 
my  position.  See  you  to-night. 

MABEL  GILLESPIE. 

P.S. —  You  have  a  very  bad  cold,  understand.  And  don't 
you  dare  to  leave  the  house." 

In  vain  Hagar  cast  about  for  explanation  of  the  note. 
It  was  nearly  impossible  for  her  to  await  the  evening. 

What  had  Miss  Gillespie  told  Greenfield  ?  And  why  was 
she  leaving  her  position?  If  they  hadn't  talked  about 
her,  why  should  Miss  Gillespie  have  any  fear  that  he 
would  question  her? 

Mingled  ire  and  curiosity  flooded  her  senses.  It  was  a 
relief  indeed  when  Miss  Gillespie  came  home  from  the  store 


Ha  gar  Revelly  2S6 

that  night.  Her  first  question  of  Hagar  was  to  know  if 
the  note  had  been  received. 

"  I  didn't  see  you  at  the  store,"  she  said ;  "  but  I  wasn't 
sure." 

"  I  got  it,"  answered  Hagar,  "  but  I  don't  understand 
it." 

Then  Miss  Gillespie  related  her  entire  interview  with 
Greenfield.  She  had  gone  to  him  utterly  unable  to  control 
a  desire  to  censure  him  for  putting  Hagar  in  the  way  of 
enticing  things.  She  had  not  meant  to  give  him  the  idea 
that  there  was  any  trouble,  but  in  a  moment  of  anger  he 
had  turned  on  her,  accusing  her  of  keeping  Hagar  away 
and  of  telling  her  that  he  was  not  the  right  company. 
Then  what  could  she  do?  She  thought  she  could  not  dare 
to  tell  him  the  real  reason  for  Hagar's  staying  away  — 
so  she  let  him  believe  that  he  had  struck  the  right  expla- 
nation. 

"  One  word  brought  another,  Hagar,"  Miss  Gillespie 
went  on,  "  and  at  last  he  told  me  I  could  leave  on  the  15th, 
so  there  you  are.  I'm  out  of  a  job." 

Hagar  thought  a  long  time,  at  last  saying,  "  Well,  I'm 
awfully  sorry,  of  course.  But  I  don't  see  what  right  you 
had  to  discuss  my  affairs  with  Greenfield  —  or  anyone 
else." 

Of  a  sudden,  a  remorseless  anger  appeared  to  have  shot 
up  in  her.  Completely  ignoring  her  benefactor,  Hagar 
walked  angrily  back  and  forth  across  the  room. 

"  Why  Hagar,  you  don't  feel  that  way  against  me,  do 
you?"  asked  Miss  Gillespie. 

All  the  pent-up  emotions,  the  disappointments  she  had 
suffered,  the  product  of  her  agonizing,  withering  experi- 
ence, now  came  forth  in  a  torrent  of  words. 

"  Yes,"  she  went  on,  "  that's  the  way  I  feel.  You've 
put  ideas  in  my  head  that  spoiled  everything  between 
Frank  and  me.  I  would  have  submitted  to  whatever  he 


256  Hagar  Revelly 

wanted  me  to  do,  and  now  since  I  know  more  about  it  —  I 
can't  —  my  God,  I  can't.  And  he's  so  unhappy,  and  I  am 
unhappy,  and  you've  lost  your  job,  all  because  of  it. 
You're  always  preaching  and  talking  rotten  stuff.  Good 
heavens,  why  couldn't  you  leave  a  thing  that's  bad  enough, 
alone.  Now  look  what  you've  done  by  your  med- 
dling." 

Miss  Gillespie  took  her  by  the  shoulders. 

"  You've  been  out  to-day,  haven't  you?  " 

"  Yes,  I  have,"  replied  Hagar  bravely. 

"  And  you  found  out  —  that  it's  —  too  late,  haven't 
you?" 

Hagar  shook  her  head,  and  less  defiantly,  faltered,  "  I 
think  so." 

"  I  thought  as  much." 

Then  Miss  Gillespie,  in  a  very  quiet  way,  told  what  her 
plans  had  been. 

"  I  don't  know  just  what  to  say  to  you  about  this, 
Hagar,"  she  continued.  "  But  I'm  going  to  tell  you  now, 
why  I  tried  to  make  you  see  all  that  was  good  and  holy. 
It  was  that  I  knew  that  it  was  too  late.  And  that  was 
one  reason  why  I  didn't  want  you  to  leave  the  house 
to-day.  I  didn't  want  him  to  get  hold  of  you.  To  my 
mind  that  seemed  the  best  way  of  making  you  understand. 
It  would  take  a  longer  time  than  we've  got  to  get  you  to 
see  the  sacredness  of  it.  So  I  just  made  up  my  mind  to 
have  you  hold  out  against  the  possibility  of  getting  this 
information.  He  would  have  stayed  by  you  then,  I'm 
sure  of  it.  But  now  — " 

"What  — now— " 

"  Well,  now  he's  heard  them  tell  you  the  truth  of  it,  and 
I  don't  dare  to  think  what  he  might  do." 

"  You  think  he  won't  marry  me  now  ?  " 

"  I  think  —  more  than  that  — "  came  the  answer. 
"  Oh,  why  did  you  leave  the  house  to-day  ?  " 


Hagar  Revelly  S57 

Hagar  understood  more  fully  now  the  meaning  of  Miss 
Gillespie's  suspicions. 

Late  that  night,  after  Hagar  had  waited  over  three 
hours  for  Herrick  to  keep  his  word  and  come  to  her,  there 
came  instead,  by  special  messenger,  a  short  note.  In  the 
envelope  was  twenty -five  dollars.  The  note  said  that  there 
had  been  some  words  with  the  boss  at  the  factory  and  as 
they  were  reducing  his  salary  anyway,  he  had  decided  to 
leave.  He  had  heard  of  another  job  in  a  small  town  in 
Michigan,  and  he  was  leaving  that  night  because  there 
was  a  chance  of  losing  it  if  he  didn't  get  there  right  away. 
He  hoped  everything  would  be  all  right  and  was  glad  to  do 
the  square  thing  by  her  and  leave  her  the  twenty-five 
dollars.  She  must  not  hesitate  to  use  it. 

Miss  Gillespie  sat  up  the  night  with  her. 

In  the  morning  a  doctor  came,  procured  through  the 
landlady's  young  son,  and  pronounced  the  attack  as  one 
of  typical  hysteria,  which  sometimes,  for  no  apparent 
reason  attacked  girls  of  about  her  age.  It  was  probably 
due  to  nervous  exhaustion  accompanied  by  some  indis- 
cretion of  diet. 

Three  days  later,  Miss  Gillespie  moved  Hagar  and  her- 
self into  another  boarding  house,  an  old  brick  building 
on  Second  Avenue,  near  Twentieth  Street. 

Through  the  loquacity  of  Queolla  LaMotte,  all  the 
boarders  knew  the  real  order  of  things,  and  so  she  thought 
it  best  that  they  both  leave  now,  of  their  own  accord. 
Realizing  also  that  Greenfield's  scrutinizing  eye  would 
be  more  alert  than  ever,  she  persuaded  Hagar  to  give  up 
the  position  at  Rheinchild's.  And  as  Hagar  saw  that  she 
must  do  this  anyway  before  many  weeks  passed,  she  readily 
gave  in  to  the  older  woman's  wishes. 

Another  event,  which  did  not  altogether  displease 
Hagar  was  to  be  told  by  her  undiscerning  mother,  when  she 
visited  her  on  the  second  day  of  her  residence  in  the  new 


,258  Hagar  Revelly 

boarding  place,  that  Mr.  Nealj  had  procured  a  very  good 
position  in  Poughkeepsie,  as  the  editor  of  an  evening 
paper,  and  that  she  had  thought  it  over  and  decided  for 
the  sake  of  companionship,  to  also  take  up  her  residence 
in  that  city.  She  would  leave  in  another  week,  and  open 
a  refined  boarding  place ;  through  Mr.  Nealy  it  would  not 
be  long  before  she  could  do  even  better  than  she  was 
doing  in  New  York.  Hagar  would  take  all  her  vacation 
there,  and  run  up  now  and  then  on  Sundays. 

She  told  Hagar  how  she  had  written  a  letter  to  the 
professor  many  weeks  before,  saying  that  she  did  not  want 
him  to  send  any  longer  the  entire  monthly  allowance  of 
seventy-five  dollars. 

In  the  dim  twilight  that  evening,  the  mother  told  the 
daughter  of  future  plans ;  while  the  child,  her  mind  full 
of  her  own  troubles,  felt  that  she  must  get  away  quickly 
or  else  through  weakness  divulge  to  the  mother  the  hidden 
secret. 


CHAPTER  XX 

GREENFIELD  received  Hagar's  written  resignation  without 
a  word  of  remonstrance.  She  had  thought  that  he  would 
perhaps  send  a  note  to  her  at  least,  might  even  come  him- 
self to  find  out  the  trouble.  Indeed,  so  curious  was  Hagar 
to  ascertain  whether  he  had  done  this,  she  called  up  the 
old  boarding-place.  But  no  word  had  been  received,  and 
when  Miss  Gillespie  secured  for  her  a  position  at  Macy's, 
there  was  in  her  acceptance  of  it  a  certain  spirit  of 
revenge  for  his  apparent  indifference  to  her. 

Meanwhile,  Miss  Gillespie  had  found  it  not  so  easy  to 
obtain  a  position  for  herself.  Feeling  she  could  not 
go  backwards  in  her  progress,  she  soon  realized  it 
was  only  in  this  manner  that  she  would  be  able  to  procure 
anything.  The  field  was  rather  limited  at  this  season  of 
the  year,  and  even  had  she  been  willing  to  take  a  smaller 
salary,  she  could  not  obtain  a  position  with  anything  like 
the  amount  of  responsibility  to  which  she  had  been  ac- 
customed. 

After  nearly  an  entire  week  spent  in  a  fruitless  search, 
she  entered  into  correspondence  with  the  Chicago  branch 
of  a  New  York  firm,  and  at  last,  when  this  seemed  the  only 
thing  left  for  her  to  do,  she  accepted  the  position. 

It  was  a  woeful  task  for  Hagar  to  see  the  kind  woman 
board  the  train  at  the  Pennsylvania  Station.  When  the 
thin  figure  disappeared  into  the  tunnel-like  stairway  lead- 
ing down  to  the  tracks,  Hagar  felt  as  if  it  were  she,  and 
not  Miss  Gillespie,  who  was  being  swallowed  up  and  taken 
away. 

Until  the  rear  lights  of  the  train  entered  the  tunnel, 

259 


260  Hagar  Revelly 

Hagar  stood  peering  down  between  the  black  iron  bars, 
while  surging  over  her  was  an  intensified  sensation  of  un- 
satisfaction,  of  loss,  arid  great  sadness. 

Walking  over  Thirty-second  Street  to  the  Broadway 
car,  her  face  pale,  her  eyes  glancing  far  ahead,  Hagar's 
thoughts  went  back  many  times  to  the  little  freckled  face 
woman.  When  she  reached  her  home,  and  realized  for  the 
first  time  that  she  was  actually  alone,  there  seemed 
nothing  else  left  for  her  to  do  but  to  cry.  And  in  rather 
a  methodical  fashion,  she  undressed  and  went  to  bed,  with 
a  yellow  paper-backed  novel  she  had  found  in  the  writing 
room  at  the  store  and  a  plentiful  supply  of  handkerchiefs. 

Each  day  became  a  separate  ordeal  after  that.  Her 
position  at  Macy's  was  an  unpleasant  one,  since  she  must 
sit  confined  in  a  sort  of  cage  and  make  the  change  that 
came  to  her  in  little  rubber-capped  brass  boxes.  The  puff- 
ing of  the  air-tubes  and  the  sudden  shooting  out  of  the 
rubber-padded  cases,  continually  startled  her.  Then  there 
was  none  of  the  freedom,  none  of  the  feeling  of  ownership, 
that  had  been  hers  when  at  Rheinchild's. 

Many  times  as  she  sat  in  her  little  wire  house,  she  would 
wish  that  she  might  be  back  in  her  old  position.  She 
would  even  think  that  she  had  acted  wrongly  in  doing  as 
Miss  Gillespie  had  told  her,  and  once  when  thinking  in  this 
fashion,  she  asked  of  herself  if  Miss  Gillespie  had  not  made 
her  do  this  just  to  get  even  with  Mr.  Greenfield. 

The  days  dragged  slowly.  She  had  been  in  the  new 
position  about  six  weeks  when  she  found  she  could  not 
longer  meet  the  inquisitive  glances  of  the  girls  about  her. 
Whenever  she  went  into  the  wash-room,  always  there 
would  be  a  half  dozen  or  more  giggling  youngsters  ungal- 
lantly  screwing  themselves  through  the  crowd,  passing 
hushed  comments  here  and  there. 

Even  at  the  boarding-house  it  was  nearly  as  bad.  She 
had  to  lie  and  smirk  at  every  step,  telling  the  landlady, 


Hagar  Revelly 

who  had  a  bigger  heart  than  was  apparent  at  first  ac- 
quaintance, that  her  husband  was  ill  in  the  West,  and  out 
of  a  position ;  that  he  had  been  on  a  big  surveying  scheme 
that  had  fallen  through  and  would  not  be  able  to  get  back 
for  two  or  three  months.  She  was  surprised  to  find  how 
easily  she  told  the  story  which  Miss  Gillespie  had  spent 
a  whole  evening  in  framing. 

But  never  before  had  she  encountered  such  a  period  of 
loneliness  as  was  now  her  lot.  Her  mother's  letters  from 
Poughkeepsie  and  occasional  letters  from  the  unhappy 
Miss  Gillespie  in  Chicago  did  not  fill  the  gap  made  when 
they  had  left  her. 

One  evening  she  walked  the  entire  length  of  Riverside 
Drive  up  to  One  Hundred  and  Twenty-fifth  Street,  and 
with  every  step  she  took  there  seemed  to  be  presented  a 
new  angle  to  her  misery.  She  walked  until  her  legs  and 
back  ached  her  so  she  could  no  longer  stand  the  pain; 
then  she  sank  into  a  bench  alongside  the  road,  with  the 
realization  that  it  was  not  many  months  before  when  she 
had  been  so  happy  in  nearly  the  same  place,  with  her 
mother  and  Mr.  Nealy.  She  reached  home  about  eleven 
o'clock,  and  as  she  dragged  herself  up  the  stairway,  her 
legs  felt  as  if  they  were  hot  coals,  and  her  back  a  thing 
of  glass. 

The  nights  were  the  hardest  to  bear.  Where  formerly 
she  was  at  least  sure  of  seeing  Miss  Gillespie,  or  Herrick, 
or  her  mother  when  she  wished  her,  she  was  now  compelled 
to  stay  in  her  room.  One  evening  she  spent  sitting  on  the 
stoop  downstairs  with  the  other  boarders.  But  their 
glances  made  her  so  unhappy,  she  never  again  went  near 
their  nightly  gathering. 

Her  only  real  diversion  was  a  moving  picture  establish- 
ment about  a  block  away.  And,  after  she  had  discovered 
the  place,  she  was  almost  a  nightly  visitor. 

Nearly  every  evening  she  would  pay  the  small  fee  and 


Hagar  Revelly 

then  occupy  some  seat  in  the  last  row.  After  a  time,  she 
began  to  feel  that  one  of  these  seats  was  being  reserved 
for  her,  as  often  she  found  one  of  them  vacant,  when  the 
rest  of  the  hall  was  comfortably  filled. 

At  least,  it  was  a  good  pastime  for  her,  and  her  grasp- 
ing mind  made  alive  the  heroes  and  heroines  of  the  shad- 
owed canvas.  Many  times  would  tears  come  into  her 
eyes  when  some  engrossing  love  scene  was  depicted;  and 
when  the  lovers  were  at  last  happily  united  in  each  other's 
arms,  she  would  come  out  of  her  trance  to  find  herself 
sobbing  with  joy. 

Hagar  found  that  a  bond  of  kinship  existed  between 
herself  and  the  other  "  regulars  "  of  the  picture  show. 
A  speaking  acquaintanceship  sprung  up  between  herself 
and  a  half  dozen  others  as  she  continued  to  visit 
the  place.  They  were  all  women,  and  they  usually  sat  in 
the  last  row ;  most  of  them  came  alone  and  only  seldom  did 
she  see  them  in  company  with  some  man  or  some  other 
woman. 

One  night  she  stopped  to  speak  to  a  woman,  a  good  deal 
past  her  own  age,  who  for  the  last  few  times  had  been 
sitting  next  to  her. 

"  I  see  you  nearly  every  night,"  said  Hagar.  "  Do 
you  always  come  so  often  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes.     There  is  nothing  else  to  do." 

The  woman  asked  Hagar  where  she  lived  and  when 
Hagar  told  her,  the  woman  begged  her  to  call  sometimes. 
She  lived  only  a  block  away. 

"  I  come  here  about  every  other  night,"  she  went  on. 
"  I've  got  a  man,  but  we  can't  be  seen  out  together.  He's 
married,  you  know."  She  gave  a  sad,  weary  smile. 

In  one  way  or  another  Hagar  came  to  understand  that 
a  moving  picture  show  was  an  institution  that  harbored 
many  lonely  women.  The  back  row  was  always  filled  and 
she  would  often  wonder  if  their  story  was  the  same  as  that 


Hagar  Revelly  263 

of  the  woman  she'd  met.  As  she  kept  on  visiting  the 
place,  she  came  to  feel  that  the  air  of  mystery  that  hung 
about  these  silent,  lonesome  people  was  a  thing  to  be 
sought  for,  and  when,  after  a  time  she  came  to  have  a 
nodding  acquaintance  with  most  of  them,  her  childish  mind 
put  her  too,  in  this  charmed  circle. 

In  only  a  few  weeks  Hagar  felt  it  a  solemn  duty  that 
she  appear  in  her  usual  seat  in  the  last  row. 

A  great  change  had  really  taken  place  in  her  since  Miss 
Gillespie's  departure.  No  longer  was  she  the  innocent, 
eager  child  that  had  confronted  Greenfield,  or  who  had 
become  so  embittered  towards  Nealy. 

It  seemed  that  something  in  her  had  broken,  as  if  she 
were  a  big  bubble  that  had  been  pierced  by  some  sharp 
instrument.  She  felt  so  little  interested  now  in  the  things 
that  interested  other  people.  Everything  appeared 
rather  useless.  When  she  would  become  excited  over  some 
passing  thing,  she  would  feel  a  little  ashamed  of  herself 
for  having  the  emotion. 

This  period  of  resignation  lasted  until  about  a  month 
before  the  expected  event.  Then  there  came,  quite 
suddenly,  it  seemed,  a  gradual  metamorphosis.  She  be- 
came awakened,  without  being  able  to  account  for  it,  and 
found  herself  stimulated  by  the  things  that  previously  had 
made  her  resigned  and  submissive. 

One  night,  standing  in  front  of  the  mirror,  she  found 
as  she  regarded  herself,  that  she  was  possessed  of  a  fierce 
desire  to  get  over  her  trouble,  and  be  pretty  and  young 
again.  After  that  night,  the  quest  for  freedom  and 
happiness  was  the  dominating  influence  that  made  her 
enter  into  each  day  with  a  nearly  frenzied  desire  for  fur- 
ther enduring. 

And  now  she  would  walk  along  the  street,  shutting  her 
eyes  and  gritting  her  teeth  at  the  perilous  facts  that 
awaited  her.  Terrible,  strange  sensations,  would  again 


Hagar  Revelly 

and  again  nearly  force  her  into  the  most  abject  periods  of 
despondency.  But  it  only  made  her  fight  more  grimly. 
She  found  the  only  way  to  battle  against  these  weaker 
moments  was  to  set  her  teeth  and  repeat  over  and  over 
again  in  her  thoughts :  "  I  am  going  to  live  —  I  am 
going  to  live  —  I  am  going  to  live." 

The  advisability  of  sending  for  some  one  often  came  to 
her  mind.  She  had  so  little  money,  there  was  only  about 
thirty  dollars  left  in  the  Adams  Bank  where  she  kept  her 
deposit,  and  each  day  was  eating  steadily  into  that.  She 
wished  a  good  deal  that  Miss  Gillespie  was  in  New  York, 
and  even  thought  she  would  write  to  her  mother,  who  was 
now  so  happy  in  Poughkeepsie,  and  tell  her  everything. 

But  a  picture  of  their  meeting,  and  all  the  wrath  and 
censure  would  quickly  dismiss  the  idea.  Even  telling 
Greenfield  was  considered,  but  that  showed  itself  to  be  out 
of  the  question  —  since  he  knew  nothing  of  her  dilemma, 
it  seemed  very  foolish  to  inform  him. 

The  only  one  to  whom  she  could  turn  was  Thatah,  and 
Hagar  fully  decided  to  send  her  a  note  in  the  next  few 
days,  begging  for  an  interview.  Of  course,  Thatah  hated 
her,  but  she  couldn't  really  blame  her,  and  there  seemed  no 
way  out  of  it. 

As  she  thought  it  over,  it  appeared  she  must  be  able 
to  endure  the  humiliations  for  the  benefit  to  be  gained. 
Thatah  could  loan  her  a  little  money  until  she  was  able  to 
get  back  to  work. 

However,  she  put  off  sending  for  her  sister  until  the 
doctor  should  give  her  a  definite  period. 

The  darker  days  crept  on  quickly. 

She  gave  up  her  position  in  Macy's  and  now  spent  the 
time  in  her  room,  sitting  and  waiting  in  a  vague,  bewil- 
dered way,  full  of  suspense  and  dread. 

One  morning,  after  a  long  time  spent  in  hesitation  she 
wrote  the  letter  asking  Thatah  to  come. 


Hagar  Revelly  265 

It  was  a  dark,  gloomy  day,  and  at  noontime,  Hagar 
felt  so  restless  and  uneasy,  she  sought  her  bed.  An  odd 
feeling  of  lassitude  hung  over  her,  and  a  little  later  in  the 
afternoon  she  felt  so  ill,  she  called  in  the  young  physician 
to  whom  she  had  spoken  about  her  case. 

The  doctor  came  and  comforted  her  a  good  deal  by 
telling  her  there  was  no  need  to  worry,  that  it  was  many 
days  before  she  need  be  watchful,  and  that  she  was  only 
suffering  from  nervousness  and  apprehension. 

For  this  information,  she  handed  him  a  dollar  and  a 
half.  However,  she  felt  that  he  was  not  giving  her  case 
enough  importance,  or  else  that  he  was  really  worried  and 
only  put  the  matter  lightly  so  that  she  would  not  be  aware 
of  it.  She  wished  that  she  could  have  afforded  a  more  ex- 
pensive physician. 

Hagar  was  hardly  settled  in  bed  that  night,  after  a 
meal  which  had  been  brought  up  from  the  dining  room, 
when  a  great  discomfort  overcame  her.  At  five  o'clock, 
the  next  morning,  the  child,  a  boy,  was  born  to  her. 


CHAPTER  XXI 

THE  child  was  hardly  three  weeks  born,  before  Mrs. 
Kempfest,  the  landlady,  inquired  of  Hagar  about  the  pay- 
ment of  the  accumulated  board  money. 

This  was  a  difficult  situation  to  face  for  the  girl,  as 
Thatah  had  paid  no  attention  to  her  note,  and  there 
having  been  some  signs  of  inflammation  that  necessitated 
her  remaining  in  bed  for  a  time  longer  than  the  usual 
period,  every  bit  of  money  had  been  given  to  the  doctor  to 
make  him  continue  his  visits. 

"  I  must  inquire,  Mrs.  Kennedy,  as  to  who  will  pay  me 
my  board  money,"  said  the  woman,  as  she  stood  in  the 
shadow  of  the  doorway.  "  It  is  already  three  weeks,  and 
I  never  wait  for  more  than  a  week  for  anybody." 

Hagar  was  lying  quietly  in  bed.  Arousing  herself 
slowly,  she  asked,  as  if  she  had  not  heard,  what  was  the 
trouble. 

The  woman  repeated  the  object  of  her  visit. 

Hagar  drew  herself  up  on  the  pillow,  her  face  still 
flushed  with  fever. 

"  Please,  please,  Mrs.  Kempfest,"  she  begged,  weakly, 
"  don't  worry  me  now.  I'll  be  better  in  a  few  days,  and 
you  won't  lose  anything." 

Standing  on  the  threshold  of  the  door,  with  her  red 
hands  on  her  hips,  and  a  very  stern  expression  about  her 
mouth  and  eyes,  the  woman  regarded  Hagar  for  some 
time,  and  then,  with  mumbled  words  to  herself,  abruptly 
left  the  room  and  went  down  the  stairway. 

That  evening  Hagar  wrote  another  note  to  Thatah, 

again  begging  her  to  come. 

266 


Hagar  Revelly  267 

"  Ask  for  Mrs.  Frank  Kennedy,"  she  wrote.  "  I  am 
sick  in  bed.  Please  come,  please."  It  was  a  discordant 
whisper  of  despair  that  Hagar  penned  on  the  white  paper. 

Then  she  called  down  to  Mrs.  Kempfest,  asking  that 
someone  come  up  to  take  the  letter.  One  of  the  women, 
with  whom  she  had  formed  something  of  a  friendship, 
came  up,  after  over  an  hour  of  waiting.  But  it  was  only 
to  hear  again  repeated  in  her  ears,  as  if  in  payment  for 
the  errand,  the  intelligence  that  no  one  had  called  on  her 
since  she  had  been  sick,  and  that  everybody  was  remarking 
about  it. 

It  was  suspicion  again,  but  the  full  importance  of  the 
woman's  remark  did  not  penetrate  into  poor  Hagar's 
understanding,  until  the  woman  was  well  down  the  stair- 
way. Then  she  called  her  back. 

"  I  want  you  to  understand,"  Hagar  emphasized,  "  that 
my  husband  —  that  my  husband  is  on  a  surveying  trip, 
and  if  you  knew  anything  about  it,  you'd  know  that  they 
stay  away  from  civilization  for  months  at  a  time." 

"  I  am  sorry,  child,"  said  the  woman  quietly,  noticing 
in  Hagar's  face  an  unhappiness  that  for  all  the  child's 
harsh  words  made  her  feel  kindly  toward  her. 

To  Hagar's  great  surprise,  Thatah  came  up  very  early 
the  next  morning.  The  milkman  had  just  left  his  bottles 
at  the  bottom  of  the  stairs,  and  as  she  came  softly  up  the 
stairway,  the  rattle  of  his  cart  was  mingled  in  her  steps. 
Thatah  had  an  opportunity  to  come  into  the  room  even, 
without  Hagar  being  aware  of  it. 

A  cheerless  sight  met  Thatah's  eyes.  Hagar,  whom 
she  had  thought  so  lucky,  lay  in  the  bed,  her  head  buried 
in  a  heap  of  soiled  white  blankets,  her  body  outlined  by 
a  curved  ridge  in  the  covering. 

The  room  smelled  illy,  as  of  clothing  drenched  by  rain, 
or  the  stale  smell  of  hair  and  bristle.  On  the  floor  was 
spread  a  worn  bit  of  rug ;  on  the  window,  as  though  bur- 


268  Hagar  Revelly 

dened  by  some  human  effort,  were  two  geranium  plants 
struggling  for  existence  in  the  foul  atmosphere. 

It  was  dark  in  the  room,  and  Thatah's  eyes  did  not 
penetrate  to  the  bed  and  its  occupants  with  anything  more 
than  a  casual  glance,  until  her  eyes  swept  past  nearly 
every  other  object;  the  bits  of  ribbon  that  lay  scattered 
on  the  bureau,  a  broken  toilet  bottle,  a  waterbag,  a  bit 
of  hair  puffing,  a  dejected-looking  silk  hairnet  hanging 
carelessly  on  the  arm  of  the  gas  jet. 

Then  she  saw  the  huddled  mass  in  the  bed. 

She  began  slowly.  "  Hagar,  the  woman  downstairs  — 
told  me  to  come  right  up  —  what  — " 

But  now  she  perceived  something  more.  A  frantic  cry 
arose  from  her  heart,  and  formed  into  terror  as  the  words 
came  from  her  lips. 

"  Hagar,  oh,  Hagar,  what  on  earth  has  happened  to 
you ! " 

Hagar,  thinned,  gaunt  looking,  turned  a  white,  tear- 
stricken  face  towards  her  sister.  A  great  fear  had  her 
in  its  grasp. 

She  tried  to  answer,  but  there  was  in  her  throat  a 
spasmodic  gripping  that  held  the  cords  inarticulate.  It 
was  only  with  a  blank,  incomprehensible  stare  that  she 
could  return  Thatah's  words. 

At  last,  after  hovering  between  fear  and  shame,  she 
managed  to  say :  "  Forgive  me,  Thatah  —  I  had  no  one 
else  to  send  for." 

Then  she  gave  a  wild  cry  as  she  burst  on :  "  Oh, 
Thatah,  how  glad  I  am  you've  come.  I  don't  know  what 
would  have  happened  to  me  if  you  hadn't." 

"  I  wish  I  had  known,"  said  Thatah.  "  I  was  away  in 
a  horrid  position  in  the  White  Mountains  for  nearly  three 
months,  and  just  came  home  last  night.  Oh,  I  wish  I  had 
known." 

It  is  difficult  to  say  how  Thatah  first  noticed  the  child. 


Hagar  Revelly  269 

For  the  first  time  in  nearly  a  week,  it  had  lain  absolutely 
quiet  and,  in  the  darkened  room,  its  slight  movement  of 
breathing  was  not  discernible.  It  was  while  Thatah  was 
taking  off  her  coat  and  hat,  that  she  gave  a  sudden  stop 
and  ran  over  to  the  bed,  while  she  forcibly  turned  Hagar's 
face  toward  her. 

Though  intense  feeling  and  surprise  was  pent  up  within 
Thatah,  the  words  came  softly,  even  sweetly  to  Hagar 
who  had  expected  a  torrent  of  abuse  from  her. 

"  Hagar,  you  —  are  —  a  mother !  "  Thatah  ex- 
claimed. 

But  she  did  not  speak  harshly  and  the  kindness  of  those 
words  was  the  first  tonic  that  had  come  to  Hagar  in  all 
the  heart-aching  days. 

For  just  a  moment  Hagar  hesitated,  then  she  took  hold 
of  Thatah's  hands  and  drew  them  down  to  her  face  in  a 
begging  plea  of  forgiveness. 

"  Oh,  Thatah,  you're  so  good,  so  good,  not  to  scold 
me,"  she  cried.  "  Tell  me,  you'll  stay  by  me.  Tell  me 
that  first  before  you  say  another  word."  Then  as 
Thatah,  who  was  too  rapt  in  surprise,  in  consternation 
at  her  sister's  plight,  failed  to  answer,  Hagar  went  on, 
half  raising  herself  in  bed,  and  saying  in  a  voice  that 
burrowed  to  the  very  depths  of  Thatah : 

"  Oh,  sister,  you've  got  to  stay  by  me.  You  don't 
know  what  I've  gone  through  the  last  few  weeks.  You 
mustn't  forsake  me.  You're  the  only  one  I  can  turn  to. 
You  will,  dearie,  you  will,  won't  you  ?  " 

And  then  her  tears  flooded  more,  though  now  from 
gratitude,  for  on  Thatah's  face  was  a  smile,  tender  and 
forgiving. 

"  Of  course,  sister,  I'll  stand  by  you,?>  answered 
Thatah,  who  looked  steadily  into  Hagar's  eyes.  Going 
on  gently,  she  said :  "  After  all,  there's  nothing  to  for- 
give—  if  —  if  —  you  loved  him." 


270  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Oh,  for  you  to  say  that,  Thatah,"  cried  Hagar. 

Thatah  turned  away  to  conceal  her  emotions. 

"  And  you  won't  ever  tell  on  me?  " 

"  I'll  never  tell  any  one,  Hagar." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  believe  it's  true,"  whispered  Hagar. 

"  I've  been  nearly  crazy  thinking  about  what  you  would 
do  when  you  came." 

In  disconnected  sentences,  full  of  anguish,  Hagar  now 
told  of  all  her  trials,  relating  how  Nealy  had  dragged  her 
through  the  aisle  of  the  store,  when  she  refused  to  leave; 
the  faithlessness  of  Herrick,  the  goodness  of  Miss  Gil- 
lespie.  They  talked  and  confided,  and  Thatah,  after  a 
time,  even  related  a  little  of  how  monotonous  had  been 
her  own  existence. 

"  But  I  haven't  seen  it  — "  exclaimed  Thatah,  in  the 
midst  of  their  confidences.  "  Please  — "  and  she  bent 
fondly  over  the  little  pink  face  projecting,  like  a  hidden 
berry,  from  out  the  folds  of  blankets  and  quilts.  Hagar 
uncovered  the  little  long  head. 

"  I  couldn't  look  at  him  for  three  days,"  Hagar  con- 
fessed, as  she  watched  Thatah. 

"How  awful,  Hagar,"  cried  Thatah.  "Why  he's  a 
dear." 

"  And  you  don't  blame  me,  Thatah,  you  don't  blame  me 
at  all?  "  begged  Hagar  after  Thatah  had  put  the  child 
back  among  the  blankets. 

"  Hagar,  if  you  loved  him  and  you  thought  he  loved 
you,  how  —  how  can  I  blame  you?  There  is  nothing  more 
glorious  that  I  can  imagine.  And  though  you  were  young 
and  foolish,  you  lived  up  to  your  understanding  of 
affection,  and  —  why  I  envy  you.  I  wouldn't  want  to  be 
blamed." 

"  But  Thatah,  you  don't  think  I  did  wrong?  " 

"  Oh,  let's  not  discuss  it  now.  I've  got  views,  I  guess 
they're  strange  ones." 


Hagar  Revelly  271 

"  They  are  strange,  sister  —  some  people  would  say 
you  are  a  bad  woman  to  think  like  that." 

Thatah  smiled.     "  You  don't  think  I'm  a  bad  woman  ?  " 

Hagar  seemed  hurt  by  her  remark. 

"  Thatah,  how  can  you  ask  that  —  when  you  have  been 
so  good  to  me !  Of  course  not." 

"  We've  been  separated  a  year  or  more,  Hagar,"  con- 
tinued Thatah.  "  In  that  time  I've  thought  over  and  over 
again  that  just  this  thing  —  the  thing  that's  befallen 
you,  was  the  most  glorious  thing  that  could  happen  to 
anyone."  She  looked  away  from  Hagar  for  a  moment, 
saying  in  a  voice  full  of  yearning  — "  Just  to  be  purely  a 
material  thing,  without  laws,  anything  —  just  to  be  a 
human  being  in  the  way  God  made  you,  because  you 
wanted  to  be  that  way  — "  Her  eyes  dimmed  a  little. 

"  Thatah,"  said  Hagar,  grasping  her  sister's  arm, 
"  you're  being  so  strange." 

Thatah  smiled  and  went  on.  "  You  see,  sister,  I'm 
not  bitter  and  hard.  It's  because  I've  thought  so  much 
about  this  thing.  Yes,  I've  thought  this,  repeated  it  over 
and  over  to  myself,  wished  it  in  the  face  of  marriage  even, 
when  I  thought  that  marriage  put  a  damper  on  one's  truer 
self.  .  .  .  Oh,  I've  thought  this  when  I  was  sitting  in 
the  room  watching  father  read  and  smoke,  I've  thought 
of  this  when  I  looked  down  into  the  backyard  next  door, 
with  the  feeling  that  I  would  like  to  throw  a  looking  glass 
or  a  water  pitcher  down  there  on  the  cement  pavement, 
just  to  wake  up  somebody,  just  to  startle  myself  even. 

"  No,  you  oughtn't  to  feel  so  bad  about  it,  Hagar.  You 
ought  to  be  even  a  little  proud,  and  hold  your  head  up 
bravely  in  front  of  the  world." 

"  Oh,  how  beautiful,  for  you  to  talk  that  way,"  Hagar 
cried,  finding  for  the  first  time  some  vindication  in  her 
misfortune. 

"  Well,  it's  got  deep  meaning,  I  guess,"  said  Thatah. 


"  I  think  a  good  deal  just  like  this.  You  would  too,  if 
you  lived  alone." 

Then  she  took  Hagar' s  extended  hand,  saying :  "  Why, 
I've  known  a  man  over  a  year,  and  though  he  is  much 
older  than  I  am,  and  it  probably  would  not  hurt  anything, 
yet  I  have  never  let  him  kiss  me  even,  though  he  has  often 
wanted  to  do  it  out  of  pure  fatherliness.  And  when  he 
was  close  to  me,  I  would  have  given  anything  on  earth,  if 
I  had  cared  enough  for  him,  to  have  wanted  him  to  do  it. 
After  all,  there  is  not  much  difference." 

"  I  know,"  exclaimed  Hagar.  "  I've  felt  that  way, 
too." 

"  So,  the  only  thing  that  is  worth  while  is  to  be  truth- 
ful to  yourself.  That's  what  it  comes  to,"  Thatah  went 
on. 

"  Oh,  Thatah,  you're  a  wonderful  woman  —  I  never 
knew,"  interrupted  Hagar,  with  reverence  in  her  voice. 

They  talked  for  a  long  while.  Thatah  experienced 
great  pleasure  in  fondling  the  infant,  and  as  Hagar  saw 
the  eyes  of  her  older  sister  become  bright  as  she  handled 
the  baby,  a  feeling  stole  over  her  that  she,  too,  ought  to 
feel  this  way. 

After  a  time,  Thatah  rose  to  go,  with  a  promise  to 
return  at  night.  But  Hagar  grasped  her  hand,  begging 
her  to  stay  longer. 

"  Oh,  please,  sister,  don't  leave  me ;  it's  so  good  to  have 
you.  Please  don't  go."  Then  she  repeated  again,  "  I 
can't  understand  why  you  are  so  kind  to  me.  I  thought 
you  hated  me." 

Thatah  stood  looking  down  at  the  pale  little  face  in  the 
bed.  "  Why  should  I?  "  she  asked. 

"  Because  —  because  I've  done  so  wrong,  I  guess." 

In  a  flame  of  gratitude,  Hagar  kissed  the  long  narrow 
hand  that  stroked  her  forehead,  while  Thatah  only  smiled, 
and  felt  that  for  the  first  time  she,  too,  was  beginning  to 


Hagar  Revelly  273 

understand  this  strange  thing  she  had  been  trying  to 
express. 

Hagar  held  her  hand  tightly,  as  if  possessed  of  a  fear 
that  Thatah  would  forsake  her,  and  to  keep  her  from 
leaving,  she  spoke  about  the  first  thing  she  could  think  of 
—  how  insensible  she  had  been  to  Herrick's  advances  and 
slyness. 

"Slyness,"  Thatah  interrupted.  "Didn't  he  love 
you?" 

Hagar  looked  at  her  with  downcast  eyes,  saying,  "  I'm 
afraid  I  loved  him  more  than  he  loved  me." 

A  little  hysterically  she  put  her  arms  around  Thatah's 
neck,  and  as  Thatah  bent  over  her,  cried  bitterly,  "  Oh, 
I'm  such  a  fool,  sister  —  such  a  fool !  " 

Hagar  related  to  her  now,  the  story  of  the  whole  affair, 
and  this  time  she  gave  Greenfield  his  share  of  the  blame. 

"  I  blame  him  for  putting  that  strange  understanding 
in  me,"  Hagar  went  on.  "  Miss  Gillespie  was  right.  It 
was  he  who  made  me  realize  for  the  first  time  how  good  it 
was  to  be  loved,  and  have  somebody  hold  you  close.  And 
though  I  never  wanted  Mm,  yet  I  couldn't  help  seeing  how 
good  it  would  be  if  I  really  loved  somebody  the  way  he 
said.  Then  Frank  came  just  at  the  right  moment,  I 
guess." 

Hagar  continued  the  story,  telling  how  it  didn't  seem 
to  be  the  same  thing  when  Herrick  was  with  her,  because 
he  never  worried  her  by  proposing  anything  that  had  to 
do  with  their  intimacy. 

"  I  guess  Greenfield  was  squarer  with  me  than  he  was. 
He  told  me  right  out  and  out,"  she  added. 

Before  Thatah  left,  the  room  was  put  in  order,  the 
window  opened  wider;  Hagar  had  given  her  the  address 
of  the  doctor,  and  Mrs.  Kempfest  was  called  in  and  made 
to  understand  that  she  should  not  worry  about  the  rent. 

Though  it  had  been  a  strange  interview,  this  conversa- 


274  Hagar  Revelly 

tion  with  Hagar  was  the  first  break  Thatah  had  experi- 
enced in  many  months  of  undiversified  monotony. 

Something  human,  real,  had  come  in  her  path,  and  the 
words  of  daring  opinion  that  came  to  her  lips,  or  the  feel- 
ing of  exultation,  that  filled  her  as  she  walked  to  the  office, 
were  part  of  some  inner  feeling  of  defiance  and  revolution 
that  she  could  not  name  nor  even  understand. 

Why  had  she  talked  so  kindly  to  Hagar?  Why,  in 
walking  up  those  squalid  steps  to  Hagar's  room,  had  a 
feeling  of  kindness  for  Hagar  permeated  her  being.  Had 
she  not  expected  to  find  the  girl  in  trouble?  Surely  she 
had  known  that  Hagar  was  in  dire  circumstances,  else 
would  she  have  been  called? 

As  Thatah  reasoned  with  herself,  she  saw  that  it  was 
because  she  understood  the  child's  utter  blamelessness, 
even  helplessness,  that  she  had  been  so  benevolent.  She 
knew  the  inheritance  that  had  been  handed  her.  It  was 
her  mother,  not  Hagar,  she  decided,  who  was  to  be 
blamed. 

Thatah  was  overwhelmed  by  the  fact  that  this  zest  for 
truth  in  life  should  so  fill  her  that  she  should  see  no  wrong 
in  Hagar's  predicament.  The  days  for  her  had  been 
so  colorless,  so  lacking  in  anything  that  would  disturb  the 
galling  monotony. 

That  day  Thatah  found  it  very  difficult  to  keep  to  her 
work.  Hagar's  troubles  seemed  to  act  like  a  stimulant. 
For  a  time  she  was  really  at  a  loss  to  know  whether  it  was 
Hagar,  or  the  new-born  child,  that  brought  to  her  this 
feeling  of  exhilaration. 

As  she  sat  at  the  side  of  Graveur  she  was  enveloped  by 
many  recollections.  Her  employer  would  talk  to  her  of 
business  details,  while  her  mind  dwelt  amongst  the  days 
and  nights  of  the  year  that  had  passed ;  he  talked  to  her 
of  singers  and  contracts,  things  which  had  formerly  in- 
terested her  intensely,  and  she  only  thought  of  the  ghastli- 


Hagar  Revelly  275 

ness  of  her  life ;  recollecting  how  she  had  wondered  dur- 
ing those  lonely  nights,  if  she  was  always  to  be  so  un- 
happy. 

She  remembered  a  day  that  she  had  pleaded  illness  to 
him,  so  that  she  might  go  home  and  sit  by  the  window  and 
plan  some  way  out  of  it.  And  after  that,  when  she  began 
to  feel  that  there  was  no  way  out,  she  remembered  how  she 
had  likened  herself  to  a  prisoner. 

There  was  rebellion  that  day  in  Thatah.  Her  body, 
her  mind  and  soul  became  permeated  by  it,  and  she  never 
before  felt  so  ashamed  of  the  emptiness  of  her  existence. 
"  Not  a  thing  in  it  that  counted,  not  a  feeling  or  an 
emotion  that  mattered,"  she  kept  thinking  to  herself. 
The  only  thing  she  was  proud  of  was  her  allegiance  to  her 
father. 

Graveur  was  puzzled  by  her  mood.  He  thought  she 
looked  prettier  somehow,  too,  for  he  saw  now  color  in  her 
formerly  pale  cheeks,  and  a  look  of  desire  in  her  eyes  of 
which  he  had  never  before  been  conscious. 

"  Thatah,"  he  said,  after  they  had  shut  the  lid  of  his 
desk,  "  I  have  watched  you  all  day  —  and  I  have  dis- 
covered something." 

"What?"  she  asked. 

He  hesitated. 

"  Well,  to  explain  myself,  I  must  go  back  a  little.  You 
know  I  used  to  watch  you  a  good  deal,  and  after  you'd 
been  here  some  months,  I  decided  that  you  were  a  cold, 
passionless  individual,  who  neither  thought  of  anything 
emotional  nor  cared  about  it.  And  now  to-day,  I  have 
been  watching  you  again  and  I  seem  to  see  that  I  have 
been  mistaken." 

"  What  do  you  mean  ?  " 

"  Oh,  that  you've  got  all  this  human  understanding, 
all  the  feeling  —  but  that,  must  I  say  it  —  that  you  are 
simply  a  good  woman  and  fight  it  out." 


276  Hagar  Revelly 

"  So  you  think  I'm  good,  Mr.  Graveur  ?  "  she  asked, 
wondering  at  the  similarity  of  their  thoughts. 

"  Yes,  I'm  sure  of  it." 

"And  —  do  you  think  I  deserve  any  credit  for 
it?" 

"  Now  that's  a  question,"  he  answered,  with  a  smile. 
"  So  many  people  deserve  no  credit  at  all  for  being  good, 
because  they  don't  know.  It  takes  temptation  to  make 
one  good  —  because  then  they  have  something  to  resist. 
A  person  that's  good  just  because  there  is  nothing  else 
to  do  surely  deserves  no  credit  for  it. 

"  In  which  class  am  I?  "  she  said,  rather  naively. 

"  I'm  not  exactly  sure,  yet." 

"  Well,  I'll  enlighten  you,  Mr.  Graveur.  I  am  not 
good,  thank  Heavens !  " 

"  Another  one  of  your  theories." 

"  No,  not  a  theory,  but  a  real  fact."  As  she  went  on 
there  was  a  wistfulness,  a  certain  shading  in  her  voice, 
that  showed  Graveur  she  was  in  deep  earnest.  "  I'm  not 
good.  I'm  only  what  looks  like  being  good  because  things 
don't  tempt  me  enough.  Or  else  it  is  circumstance,  as 
you  say.  However,  I  am  not  good.  I  want  things,  only 
I  don't  want  them  to  come  cheaply,  through  resignation. 
I  want  what  I  want  when  I  dream.  Oh,  you  don't  know 
what  I  dream. 

"  I've  got  a  little  sister,  Mr.  Graveur,"  she  said,  look- 
ing up  at  him,  "  that  I've  been  thinking  about  all  day. 
She  doesn't  know  the  world  is  moving  around  her.  She's 
like  a  cork  in  the  water,  bobbing  up  and  down  when  the 
waves  are  rough,  placid  and  quiet  when  the  water  is 
smooth.  But  she  doesn't  know  she's  living,  poor  child. 
And  yet  she  goes  through  —  a  good  deal.  And  some 
day  she'll  go  down  under  the  waves.  She's  at  the  mercy 
of  everyone,  at-the-mercy-of-world  like.  And  when  she 
goes  down,  people  will  blame  her,  and  say  she  is  a  bad 


Hagar  Revelly  277 

woman,  when  in  reality  it  is  because  she  is  believing  and 
good. 

"  But  I  repudiate  the  very  word  good.  Ough,  it's  like 
the  smell  of  onions  to  me,"  she  added. 

Graveur  listened  to  her  in  a  state  of  mingled  interest 
and  perplexity.  As  she  finished,  he  said: 

"  Thatah,  you  puzzle  me.  I  don't  believe  I  will  ever 
understand  you.  You  jump  so  on  everything  I  sug- 
gest." 

She  saw  that  his  fingers  were  clenched  tightly  together. 
"  You  think  too  deeply,  and  strangely.  It  isn't  good  for 
you." 

The  girl  folded  her  hands  restlessly,  and  leaned  a  lit- 
tle forward.  "  Yes,  I  know,  but  I'd  rather  think  in  this 
fashion  and  even  be  unhappy,  than  to  be  happy  igno- 
rantly,  Mr.  Graveur." 

When  Thatah  left  the  office,  she  hurried  back  to  Hagar. 
The  late  summer's  sun  was  penetrating  through  a  light 
veil  of  mist  and  though  it  was  growing  rapidly  dusk,  Tha- 
tah walked  all  the  way.  It  seemed  to  give  her  better  op- 
portunity to  turn  over  in  her  mind  the  problem  that  con- 
fronted her. 

One  thought  occupied  her  most.  It  was  the  idea  that 
lay  back  of  the  words  she  had  poured  into  Hagar's  ears 
that  morning. 

Entering  the  vestibule  of  Hagar's  place  she  paused 
to  ring,  and  then  as  no  one  came,  silently  went  up  the 
stairs. 

At  the  second  landing,  she  met  Mrs.  Kempfest. 

She  asked  of  the  woman,  "  Is  Hagar  asleep  ?  " 

"Hagar!  Oh,  you  mean  Mrs.  Kennedy?  I  didn't 
know  her  first  name  — " 

"Mrs.  Kennedy—" 

"  Yes,  miss,  I  just  left  her.  She  is  not  sleeping;  she'll 
be  glad  to  see  you." 


278  Hagar  Revelly 

Thatah  went  up  the  third  flight.  As  her  glance  fell 
upon  the  half-closed  door,  shutting  off  all  the  unhappiness 
and  ugliness  that  lay  back  of  it,  an  uncomfortable  feel- 
ing of  awe  took  hold  of  her. 

She  heard  Hagar  stir  in  the  bed. 

"  May  I  come  in?  "  she  asked  softly. 

"Yes,  sister." 

"  I'm  all  out  of  breath,"  said  Thatah,  as  she  entered 
the  room  and  sat  by  the  side  of  the  bed.  She  added,  a 
little  jocularly,  "  You  should  have  an  elevator,  Hagar." 

"  On  seven  dollars  a  week?  " 

Hagar's  remark  gave  Thatah  the  opportunity  to  re- 
mark that  she  had  brought  along  ten  dollars.  "  I 
thought  that  would  help,"  Thatah  said  carelessly. 

Hagar  would  not  accept  it  however,  until  Thatah  had 
promised  to  let  her  pay  it  back. 

Immediately  they  fell  to  talking  of  prospects  for  the 
future. 

"  You  know,  I'm  going  to  be  up  against  it,  when  I  get 
out  of  bed,"  confided  Hagar.  "  I'll  have  to  get  a  j  ob, 
and  the  way  I  feel  now,  I  don't  believe  I  will  be  able  to 
hold  down  anything  that  requires  hard  work.  Why, 
sometimes,"  she  said  faintly,  "  I  think  that  —  that  he'll 
come  back  —  and  marry  me,  and  make  things  all  right. 
Somehow  it  seems  the  only  way  for  everything  to  end 
happily." 

"  Would  you  marry  him,  after  what  he's  done  ?  "  asked 
Thatah. 

"  Why,  sure.  It's  his  duty  to  support  me  —  and  the 
child." 

"  But  supposing  you  hated  him  —  as  you  probably 
ought  to  hate  him  for  leaving  you  —  you  couldn't  go  and 
live  with  him  after  that,  could  you  ?  " 

"I  —  well,  I  never  thought  of  that.  What  would  you 
do?" 


Hagar  Revelly  279 

Thatah  smiled.  "  Oh,  I  don't  know.  I  suppose  I'd 
mind  convention  and  think  more  of  the  child's  name  than 
of  my  feelings.  That's  the  usual  thing." 

Hagar  swept  a  furtive  glance  in  Thatah's  direction. 
;<  You  know,"  she  said  with  some  spirit,  "  I  feel  different 
sometimes,  when  I  am  not  so  puzzled  about  the  right  and 
wrong  of  the  thing.  Then,  I  feel  like  I  ought  to  hunt 
up  Frank's  mother.  She  lives  near  Albany  some  place, 
and  get  his  address,  and  then  go  where  he  is,  and  — " 

"And  what?" 

"  Oh,  sometimes  I  feel  as  if  I  ought  to  kill  him  for  get- 
ting me  in  this  trouble.  And  then  —  there'll  come  a 
feeling  that  makes  me  remember  how  happy  we  were  to- 
gether up  there  on  the  hill,  all  alone  —  and  I  forgive 
him." 

Thatah  walked  over  to  the  window.  "  Poor  little  sis- 
ter," she  murmured,  quite  inaudibly. 

"  But  if  I  get  out  of  this  all  right,  I'll  make  somebody 
pay  —  pretty  dearly  for  it,  too." 

Thatah  came  over  and  sat  down  on  the  bed's  edge. 
"Why,  what  do  you  mean,  Hagar?" 

"  Oh,  I  mean  that  I  will  get  even  for  what  I've  gone 
through." 

"  You  mean  you'll  take  a  revenge  on  the  whole  sex, 
then?" 

"  Yes,  something  like  that,  I  guess." 

"  Which  is  exactly  what  every  woman  says,  Hagar," 
exclaimed  Thatah  earnestly.  "  We  love  and  yearn 
blindly,  without  anyone  sharing  our  happiness,  and  yet  if 
we  suffer  by  them,  we  want  the  whole  world  to  share  our 
misery." 

At  that  moment,  Mrs.  Kempfest  knocked  at  the  door 
and  asked  if  she  should  bring  in  the  supper. 

"  Oh,  will  you  stay?  "  Hagar  pleaded,  taking  Thatah's 
hand. 


280  Hagar  Revelly 

As  her  sister  hesitated,  Hagar  gave  the  order  for  two 
suppers. 

"  But  what  will  father  think?  "  interjected  Thatah. 

"  Good  Lord,  can't  you  stay  away  without  having  to 
account  for  every  moment?  " 

"  I  haven't  yet,  sister,"  smiled  Thatah. 

"  I'll  bet  7  wouldn't  pet  him  so.     How  is  he?  " 

"  Oh,  getting  along  all  right,  I  suppose." 

"Does  he  ever  ask  for  me?" 

"  He  asks  very  often,  Hagar." 

Both  were  silent  for  some  minutes. 

Then  Hagar  spoke  up.  "  Oh,  well,  things  had  to  be 
the  way  they  were,  didn't  they  ?  " 

"  I  guess  so."  An  enigmatical  smile  covered  Thatah's 
pale  face. 

"  He  never  showed  he  cared  for  me,"  blurted  out  Ha- 
gar, after  some  thought. 

Thatah  answered  immediately :  "  Don't  talk  so,  dear, 
he  is  very  fond  of  you.  Perhaps  more  so  than  of  me. 
It  would  break  his  heart,  if  he  knew  —  of  this,  for  in- 
stance. He's  always  looking  at  your  picture." 

"Does  he  do  that?" 

Thatah  nodded. 

"  Oh,  for  Heaven's  sake,  you  won't  tell  him,  will  you? 
You  must  promise  that.  You  won't  ever  tell,  will  you, 
Thatah?" 

"I  won't,  Hagar,"  promised  Thatah. 

But  before  Hagar  was  pacified,  she  made  Thatah  swear 
with  one  hand  on  the  little  Bible  that  Mrs.  Kempfest 
had  left  on  the  mantelpiece. 

Then  Hagar  lay  back  on  her  pillow,  her  chin  doubled 
against  her  chest,  her  arms  back  of  her  head. 

As  she  sat  on  the  edge  of  the  bed,  Thatah  smoothed 
back  the  hair  that  hung  over  the  girl's  forehead.  "  I 


llagar  ftevelly 

used  to  wonder,  what  you'd  come  to  some  clay,  Hagar," 
she  remarked. 

Hagar  laughed  sadly.  "  You  don't  wonder  any  more, 
do  you,  sister?  " 

"  Well,  I  don't  know.     This  isn't  the  end." 

"  But  you  don't  think  —  I'm  only  beginning,  do  you  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  rather  think  so,  Hagar." 

"  But,  sister,  I  don't  understand  you,"  Hagar  inter- 
rupted, with  wrinkled  brows.  "  Surely  you  see  what  I'm 
up  against.  I've  got  to  support " —  she  hesitated,  as 
if  she  disliked  the  word  — "  this  child,  and  raise  it,  and 
then  some  day  tell  it  the  truth,  and  see  it  run  away  from 
me—" 

"  Because  people  will  be  telling  him  you've  no  right  to 
him?" 

"  Yes.  That,  and  because  he'll  probably  be  like  his 
father." 

"  Poor  child,  Hagar." 

"  Oh,  to  tell  the  truth  —  I'm  tired  of  it  before  I  be- 
gin, Thatah.  Everything  seems  so  foolish,  useless  —  I 
wish  —  oh,  I  don't  know  what  I  wish,  sometimes." 

"  There  is  a  way  out  of  it,  sister,  if  you  just  think." 

"  Oh,  tell  me,  Thatah." 

"  Well,  just  live  for  the  some  day,  Hagar.  If  I  didn't 
have  that  to  think  about,  I  don't  know  what  I'd  do,  either. 
Of  course  we're  poor,  and  we  have  got  to  be  reconciled  to 
the  fact  that  in  the  meantime  we've  just  got  to  live  in  the 
niche  set  aside  for  our  kind." 

Hagar's  lips  were  pressed  together  with  determina- 
tion. 

"  I'll  bet  I  get  out  of  it,  if  they  ever  give  me  a  chance," 
she  exclaimed. 

Thatah  noticed  the  bitterness  in  her  sister's  words. 

"  Well,  after  all,  that  is  the  only  way  to  look  at  it. 


282  Hagar  Revelly 

Hope,  dream, —  after  all,  it's  been  just  that,  that  has 
kept  me  up  more  than  anything  I've  ever  fed  myself,  Ha- 
gar. It's  true,  though  " —  she  rose  from  the  side  of  the 
bed  — "  one  has  to  wait,  wait,  wait,  and  yet  we  have  no 
more  chance  of  getting  what  we  want  than  if  we  ran  on 
to  it  by  accident,  the  first  day  of  our  search.  That's 
the  way  things  are  run,  though.  Oh,  things  aren't  a  bit 
fair,  not  a  bit." 

Thatah's  face  presented  a  strange  appearance  to  Ha- 
gar as  she  went  on  talking.  The  languor  seemed  to  have 
died  from  the  eyes,  the  lips  were  thinly  drawn  —  in  that 
moment  she  imagined  she  could  see  all  the  yearning 
and  aching  days  her  sister  had  gone  through.  And 
she  became  filled  with  a  feeling  of  deep  pity  and  af- 
fection. 

Thatah  went  on  talking  in  hard,  compressed  tones. 
"  That's  the  reason,  Hagar,  people  think  me  soured  and 
vindictive;  that's  the  reason  father  thinks  I  have  no  feel- 
ing or  understanding  for  human  things ;  yes,  that's  the 
reason  I'm  going  to  take  this  baby  off  your  hands,  Ha- 
gar." 

"  Thatah,  whatever  are  jou  saying?  "  said  Hagar  in 
astonishment. 

"  Just  what  I  mean,  Hagar.  I  am  going  to  take  him 
home  as  soon  as  the  doctor  thinks  I  can." 

Hagar  was  overwhelmed  by  the  enormity  of  the  idea, 
made  perhaps  more  startling  and  expressive  by  its  non- 
chalant entrance. 

"  You  can't  mean  —  that  you  are  going  to  take  him> 
and  raise  him  —  for  me?" 

"  More  than  that.  I  am  going  to  take  him  and  teach 
him,  and  fall  in  love  with  him.  Why  shouldn't  I?  I  am 
a  woman  —  it's  my  right.  You  don't  need  ever  to  bother 
about  him.  I'll  tell  them  at  home  that  I  have  taken  him 
from  some  Foundling  Asylum.  Why,  it's  the  only  way 


Hagar  Revelly  283 

out  of  it  for  you,  though  I'm  not  doing  it  for  that  reason 
—  unless,  someone  knows  already." 

"  No  one  knows,  Thatah."  Hagar  thought  of  Miss 
Gillespie  and  Herrick.  "  That  is  —  that's  here." 

"  Well,  then,  it's  the  only  possible  way  out  of  it  for 
you.  You  ought  to  be  happy  about  it." 

"  Happy  —  why  you  take  my  breath  away,  Thatah. 
Are  you  doing  this  for  me?" 

"  Oh,  for  both  of  us,"  answered  Thatah  vaguely. 

"  I  certainly  can't  understand,"  Hagar  kept  on. 

Herself  really  surprised  that  she  had  so  easily  worded 
the  vague  idea  that  had  bothered  her  all  day,  Thatah 
now  became  quite  determined.  "  Yes,  I'll  take  him  — 
be  as  a  mother  to  him  • —  only  you  must  promise  one 
thing." 

"What's  that?" 

"  That  if  I  take  him  —  that  you  won't  ever  want  him 
back." 

"  Gee,  you  needn't  worry  about  that,"  Hagar  said  posi- 
tively. 

And  so,  before  Thatah  left,  arrangements  had  been 
quite  completed  to  carry  out  Thatah's  desire. 

That  night,  as  Hagar  lay  in  her  bed  with  the  crying 
baby  at  her  side,  there  came  speculatively  before  her 
vision,  a  half  dozen  words ;  they  seemed  to  be  emblazoned 
in  burning  embers  against  a  black,  cloudy  sky ;  and  the 
words  blazed  back  and  forth  and  beckoned  to  her  in  their 
dancing,  shooting  jets  of  flame:  "Free  again  —  free 
again  —  free  again."  And  each  little  spark  had  its  own 
vague  significance. 

Hagar,  with  the  wonderful  rebound  of  youth,  gained 
strength  in  the  days  that  followed.  It  was  not  long 
before  the  young  smiling  physician,  in  his  old-experienced 
manner,  told  her  that  she  could  leave  the  bed. 


CHAPTER  XXII 

WITH  Thatah's  money,  a  nurse  was  paid  to  stay  with  the 
baby,  and  two  months  after  Hagar  left  her  sick  bed,  she 
was  strong  enough  to  take  a  position  in  another  depart- 
ment of  Macy's. 

Though  the  extra  expense,  for  the  nurse,  drained  heav- 
ily on  Thatah,  she  met  the  outlay  with  a  good  deal  of 
satisfaction,  feeling  that  she  could  only  look  at  it  in  one 
way  —  the  building  of  a  foundation  for  her  future  hap- 
piness. With  this  in  her  mind,  it  became  a  pleasure, 
during  the  period  of  waiting  until  the  baby  could  be 
placed  on  bottled  nourishment,  to  stint  herself  and  bor- 
row advance  salary. 

Then  one  day,  after  talking  with  the  doctor,  Thatah 
went  to  Hagar's  room  with  the  news  that  the  baby  could 
be  taken  away. 

After  very  little  ceremony,  the  nurse  woman  was  dis- 
missed, and  Thatah  took  the  child  back  to  Mrs.  Neer's 
boarding  house.  It  was  quite  late  when  she  arrived  with 
her  little  human  bundle  but  there  was  no  surprise  ex- 
pressed by  any  of  the  different  boarders  who  saw  her 
come  into  the  house.  For  weeks  she  had  followed  a  care- 
fully laid  plan,  casually  mentioning  now  and  then  the 
fact  that  she  thought  of  adopting  a  child. 

It  was  not  long  before  the  relationship  between  Hagar 
and  Thatah  was  as  quiet  and  slumbering  as  it  had  always 
been. 

In  fact  tb«  only  time  that  they  had  anything  in  com- 
mon again  was  when  Thatah  wrote  and  asked  if  she  might 

name  the  youngster  "  Edric." 

284 


Hagar  Revelly  285 

"  It  seems  to  fit  him,"  wrote  Thatah.  "  What  do  you 
say?" 

Hagar  wrote  back :     "  It's  all  the  same  to  me." 

So  the  boy  was  named  "  Edric,"  and  the  former  state 
of  sisterly  disinterestedness  became  as  it  was  before. 
Hagar  felt  quite  free  again,  while  Thatah  understood  in 
a  queer  sort  of  way,  that  in  taking  the  child  she  had 
somehow  justified  her  ambitions. 

Hagar  was  free  again.  Indeed,  great  as  was  her  ap- 
preciation of  an  escape  from  a  lifetime  of  devotion  to 
this  child  which  she  could  not  love,  her  eagerness  for  a  new 
life  was  greater,  and  after  a  short  time  encompassed  this 
feeling  of  gratitude  which  for  a  few  days  after  Thatah 
had  taken  the  child,  had  been  quite  keen. 

It  was  not  a  saddened  woman  that  stepped  out  from 
her  fetters,  but  a  young  eager  girl  again.  There  was 
only  added  to  her  former  state  of  youthful  anticipation, 
the  appreciation  of  life  that  enters  into  the  mind 
of  the  matured  woman.  She  was  clever  now,  but  not 
any  longer  in  the  former  childlike  way.  Now  she  knew 
how  to  read  people's  faces,  search  their  minds,  play  upon 
their  points  at  least  resistance. 

Before  her  new  position  was  three  months  old,  the  man- 
ager raised  her  salary  to  nine  dollars  a  week  because  of 
the  increased  sales  in  her  department,  and  it  gave  Hagar 
some  satisfaction  when  she  put  four  dollars  of  this  money 
in  an  envelope  and  sent  it  to  Thatah. 

However,  the  recipient  of  the  envelope  was  having  a 
harder  time  than  Hagar  imagined. 

A  few  days  after  the  infant  was  brought  into  the 
domicile  of  Mrs.  Neer,  there  seemed  to  enter  along  with 
it  a  peculiar  condition  of  apathy  on  the  part  of  the  en- 
tire household.  It  affected  Mrs.  Costello,  Mr.  Samuels, 
and  even  Mrs.  Neer  felt  as  if  an  alien  or  intruder  had 
been  allowed  to  enter  the  house. 


286  Hagar  Revelly 

At  the  table  one  night,  Mrs.  Neer  spoke  up.  "  I  can't 
see  why  Miss  Revelly  should  undertake  to  raise  some 
foundling,  just  because  of  a  whim.  I  should  think  her 
father  would  have  more  control  over  her." 

"  Where  did  she  get  it  ?  "  intruded  a  little  woman  at 
the  end  of  the  table. 

"  At  some  Foundling  Asylum,"  Mrs.  Costello  answered 
coldly. 

The  little  woman  answered  back :  "  It  seems  to  me 
they  have  had  a  hard  enough  time  living  as  it  is." 

"  Some  people  are  fools,"  added  Mrs.   Costello. 

When  Thatah  and  her  father  came  downstairs  there 
was  a  hush,  as  if  to  bury  the  subject  for  future  use, 
though  there  was  the  usual  effusive  hypocrisies  — "  Good 
evening,  professor  " — "  Good  evening,  Miss  Revelly  " — 
"  Good  evening,  Mrs.  Neer  " — "  Won't  you  pass  the  meat 
platter  for  the  professor,  Mr.  Samuels?" — "Ah  —  we 
were  just  saying,  Miss  Thatah" — while  to  herself  Tha- 
tah counted  the  moments  till  she  could  rush  upstairs  and 
confide  in  the  little  pink-skinned  youngster. 

They  had  small  steaks  for  supper  that  evening  and 
Mrs.  Costello  was  asking  Thatah  to  pass  the  dish  for  a 
second  helping,  when  she  remarked,  in  a  well-meant  effort 
to  cover  up  her  request: 

"  Well,  Miss  Revelly,  it  will  be  nice  to  watch  the  young- 
ster grow  older,  won't  it  ?  " 

"  You  think  so  ? "  replied  Thatah,  amused  by  the 
woman's  effort  to  get  her  into  a  discussion  concerning 
Edric. 

"Don't  you?" 

"Well,  I  don't  know,"  said  Thatah.  "I  can't  help 
thinking  it  might  make  me  feel  awfully  old,  and  make 
me  realize  that  I  ought  to  have  gotten  married  myself." 

Mrs.  Costello  ignored  her  latter  remark,  and  went  on 
to  say  that  she  thought  one  could  get  a  great  deal  of 


Hagar  Revelly  287 

pleasure  seeing  a  baby  grow  up  and  go  through  all  the 
processes  of  age. 

"  Well,"  Thatah  replied,  "  I  had  a  conversation  with 
Mme.  Reppy  yesterday  —  you  know  her,  she  sings  in 
Wagnerian  Opera  —  and  I  asked  her  if  she  didn't  get  a 
lot  of  pleasure  from  her  two  children.  Her  reply  startled 
me." 

"What   did   she   say?"   asked  the   Spanish  woman. 

"  That  she  couldn't  help  acknowledging  that  she  dis- 
liked seeing  her  children  grow  up.  *  I  see  my  children 
living  the  life  I  should  like  to  live  myself,'  she  said; 
*  and  I  can't  confess  anything  else.  I  love  them,  but 
when  I  see  my  oldest  so  happy  and  gay,  when  she  calls 
me  mother  —  well  —  it  hurts  me,  because  I'd  like  to  be 
doing  that  myself.' ' 

"  She's  a  bad  woman  to  talk  like  that,"  added  some 
one  near  the  professor. 

"  I  don't  think  so,"  said  Thatah.  "  I  believe  I'd  feel 
the  same  way." 

"  Then  why  did  you  adopt  a  child  ?  " 

"  Oh  —  I  suppose  to  see  if  my  surmises  were  right. 
Then  I  think  every  woman  should  have  a  child  —  before 
she  is  thirty,  anyway.  I  didn't  want  to  be  left  out." 

That  she  shouldn't  have  made  such  a  careless,  at  ran- 
dom statement,  Thatah  realized,  when  her  words  met  with 
an  incomprehensible  silence.  But  she  minded  very  little; 
the  same  sinister  glances,  the  same  unsaid  words  had 
been  exchanged  at  that  board  for  months;  she  had  al- 
ways longed  for  some  phrase,  some  sentence,  that  would 
shock  them.  Many  times  she  had  run  upstairs  gleefully, 
when  her  words  had  brought  about  the  desired  effect. 

"  You  must  not  say  such  things,  Thatah,"  her  father 
would  exclaim.  "  We  live  here,  and  these  people  are 
fools." 

"  Oh,  I  can't  help  it,  father,"  she  would  answer. 


288  Hagar  Hevelly 

The  seed  of  suspicion  was  being  planted  deeply  now. 
Before,  Thatah  had  always  been  so  quiet,  never  going 
out,  living  the  life  of  a  recluse.  And  now  that  she  smiled 
and  was  happy,  they  decided  that  a  hidden  reason  was 
the  cause  for  this  change  in  her.  Formerly  when  she  was 
very  quiet,  they  had  cast  about  for  explanation,  only  to 
be  piqued  by  their  continuous  fruitless  search.  Now  it 
was  with  satisfaction  that  they  began  to  probe  something 
that  gave  them  a  return. 

In  the  minds  of  those  in  the  house  that  interested  them- 
selves about  it,  there  was  a  complete  chain  of  incidents 
to  work  upon.  Surely  the  baby  was  the  secret  of  it  all 
—  and  night  after  night  they  went  about  the  house  asking 
of  themselves  why  it  was  that  a  girl  her  age  should  indulge 
in  so  maternal  a  pastime,  and  what  they  should  do  about 
it. 

One  evening  a  few  weeks  later,  Mrs.  Costello  stopped 
Thatah  in  the  hallway  and  asked  her  directly,  the  name  of 
the  Foundling  Institution  from  which  Thatah  had  pro- 
cured the  infant. 

The  girl  was  taken  completely  by  surprise. 

"  Why  —  the  St.  Vincent's  Asylum,"  she  managed  to 
say  at  last. 

"  I  was  just  wondering,"  explained  Mrs.  Costello ;  "  a 
friend  of  mine  was  thinking  of  doing  the  same  thing." 

There  was  a  whispered  council  held  in  the  drawing-room 
that  night  between  Mrs.  Neer  and  the  poetess. 

"  I  tell  you  she  got  as  pale  as  a  sheet !  " 

"What  did  you  ask  her?"  whispered  Mrs.  Neer. 

The  woman  told  her. 

"  Did  she  answer  you  right  off?  " 

"  Right  off  ?  Why,  she  fumbled  around  for  a  full  min- 
ute. You  bet  she  never  got  that  child  at  a  Foundling 
Asylum ! " 

"Then  what  do  you  think?" 


Hagar  Renelly  289 

"  I  don't  know.  She  was  gone  for  nearly  three  months 
on  her  position,  as  she  said.  Still,  would  that  make  it?  " 

"  You  don't  believe  — ?  " 

"  It's  hard  to  tell ;  there's  something  wrong." 

"  Well,  I'm  going  to  find  out  at  St.  Vincent's.  It's  the 
only  way." 

"  Yes,  you  do  that,"  emphasized  Mrs.  Neer.  "  I  won't 
have  the  respectability  of  this  place  spoiled." 

"  It  is  for  that  reason  I  told  you." 

For  a  few  days  the  embers  lay  smothering,  though  with 
every  mood  of  Thatah,  every  word  that  escaped  her  lips, 
there  was  added  a  few  more  coals  to  the  heap.  Sig- 
nificance was  given  now  to  her  fondness  for  the  child. 

"  How  could  she  become  so  excited  over  it,  if  it  wasn't 
her  own,"  was  asked  of  Mrs.  Neer. 

And  then  Mrs.  Costello  could  find  no  record  of  the 
child  at  the  Asylum. 

It  ended  by  Mrs.  Neer  voicing  her  suspicions  and  that 
of  the  boarders,  to  the  professor. 

"  I  feel  compelled  to  talk  to  you,  Professor  Revelly," 
she  said  to  him  one  evening,  "  about  a  matter,  a  very 
serious  matter  that  has  been  given  a  great  deal  of  serious 
attention  before  I  come  to  you.  As  you  know  I  have 
some  people  with  me,  who,  although  they  may  not  be 
blessed  by  any  great  amount  of  worldly  goods,  yet  who 
are  nevertheless,  highly  respectable,  and  whose  respecta- 
bility, it  is  my  duty  to  protect.  As  you  know,  Mrs.  Cos- 
tello was  born  of  a  fairly  near  connection  with  the  Royal 
Family  of  Spain — " 

He  interrupted  her.  "  Tell  me  what  it  is  you  wish  to 
say  to  me,"  he  said  impatiently. 

"  Well,  professor,  it  is  very  difficult,  since  it  is  about 
your  daughter — ' 

"  My  daughter !  " 

"  Yes,  the  knowledge  of  what  I  am  going  to  say  has 


290  Hagar  Revelly 

been  quite  as  hard  for  us  to  bear,  as  it  is  for  me  to  tell 
you.  But  I  feel  that  I  must  do  it  to  protect  my  house- 
hold. Of  course  if  I  were  living  alone  it  would  be  a  dif- 
ferent thing.  I'd  just  say  to  them,  '  mind  your  own 
business.' ' 

"  What  do  you  want  to  know  about  my  daughter  ?  " 
he  now  demanded,  with  all  the  nervous,  explosive  energy 
that  had  accumulated  during  her  speech. 

"  Well  —  we  think  that  she  —  that  she  is  not  the  same 
woman  she  was  when  she  left  you." 

He  was  puzzled. 

"  When  she  left  me,"  he  repeated ;  "  she  was  no  more 
than  a  baby."  He  was  indeed  thinking  of  Hagar.  That 
it  was  Thatah  of  whom  she  was  speaking  never  entered 
his  mind.  Anything  unusual  about  her  was  too  remote  to 
consider. 

"  How  did  you  know  of  Hagar?  "  he  asked  bewildered. 
"  Tell  me  quick,  tell  me  how  you  know  about  her,  and 
what  she  has  done?  " 

It  was  Mrs.  Neer's  turn  now  for  confusion. 

"  Why,  professor,  I  was  speaking  of  Thatah,  your 
daughter.  I  didn't  know  you  had  another  child." 

"  You  are  talking  of  Thatah  ?  "  he  exclaimed. 

"  Yes,  when  she  was  away  for  three  months." 

He  looked  at  her,  utterly  unable  to  comprehend  her 
words. 

"  And  now  she  brings  into  the  house  a  baby." 

"Well?" 

"  Well,  you  know  how  people  talk.  Right  at  the  first 
they  asked  me  about  it,  and  I  told  them  that  Thatah  had 
the  right  to  adopt  a  child  if  she  wanted  to.  Then  of 
course,  the  baby  was  a  good  deal  older,  which  I  told  them ; 
but  they  tried  to  convince  me  that  perhaps  we  hadn't 
watched  — " 

"  Go  ahead,"  he  demanded  fiercely. 


Hagar  Revelly  291 

"  Well,  then,  they  pointed  out  that  you  were  too  poor 
to  indulge  in  anything  like  that.  They  said  there  was 
something  queer  about  it.  Of  course,  I  didn't  believe 
them,  never  have,  really.  But  you  see  my  position." 

He  looked  at  her,  smiling  faintly. 

"  My  dear  Mrs.  Neer,"  he  asked,  "  what  is  it  you  want 
me  to  do?  " 

"  We  want  —  oh,  it's  so  hard  to  say  it,  professor  — 
but  we  want  to  know  —  who  —  rather  —  if  Miss  Thatah 
is  married?  " 

"  Ach,"  he  exclaimed,  "  you  speak  in  metaphors.  I 
don't  follow  you.  You  want  to  know  if  Thatah  is  mar- 
ried? "  He  laughed  sadly.  "No,  poor  dear,  she  is  not 
married,  but  what  do  you  want  to  know  for?  You  think 
the  child  is  hers?  And  you  wonder  why  the  father  never 
comes.  Yes  ?  Am  I  right  ?  " 

"  You  are  very  right,"  she  answered,  straightening  her 
shoulders  for  the  ordeal  she  supposed  would  follow. 

For  a  long  time  he  was  lost  in  deep  thought. 

Then  he  began  slowly :  "  My  daughter  has  adopted  the 
kittle  fellow.  It  has  pleased  her  to  do  so,  and  as  she  is 
of  an  age  where  she  can  use  her  own  mind  and  spend  her 
own  money,  I  make  no  objection  to  it.  She  pays  for  the 
nurse  girl,  I  do  not.  Is  there  anything  else  ?  "  he  asked, 
arising  from  his  chair. 

But  Mrs.  Neer  remained  seated. 

"Do  you  know  where  she  adopted  the  child?"  Her 
lips  set  into  hard  lines. 

"  Why,  Thatah  said  —  I  believe  I've  forgotten."  He 
searched  his  mind  for  recollection  of  the  time  Thatah  in- 
formed him  that  she  had  learned  of  a  child  in  one  of  the 
Asylums  and  intended  adopting  it. 

His  hesitation  encouraged  Mrs.  Neer. 

"  You  don't  know,  do  you  ?  "  She  gave  a  little  mock- 
ing laugh.  "  Of  course  not.  I  guess  she's  fooled  you 


292  Hagar  Revelly 

too,  professor.  Well,  I  can  tell  you  the  name  of  the 
place  she  gave  Mrs.  Costello." 

"And  what  of  that?" 

"  Only  that  they  don't  know  anything  about  it,  at  the 
place  she  told  us  —  St.  Vincent's." 

Now  the  name  came  back  to  him. 

"  Yes,"  he  said,  "  that  was  the  name  she  told  me  the 
other  day."  He  looked  at  her  fully  in  the  face.  With 
some  satisfaction  she  perceived  that  he  was  becoming 
aroused.  "  You  asked  her,  and  she  told  you  St.  Vin- 
cent's," he  went  on,  "  and  they  don't  know  anything 
about  it  there?  " 

"  Yes.  And  to  make  it  sure,  we  —  or  rather,  the  party 
who  went,  got  the  names  of  the  only  other  two  institu- 
tions where  there  was  any  resemblance  of  the  names. 
And  she  got  the  same  information  at  these  places,  too* 

"  Why,  no  one  ever  adopted  a  child  from  any  of  these 
places  during  the  week  she  brought  Edric  here.  So  you 
see,  professor,  the  situation  that  confronts  me.  It  pains 
me  so  much,  but  — "  she  hesitated. 

"But  what?" 

" —  but  I  must  ask  you  —  you  to  leave  —  unless  Miss 
Thatah  can  offer  some  explanation  that  is  satisfactory  to 
us.  I  am  sure  you  understand.  It  protects  you  and 
her  as  well  as  it  does  us." 

That  night  Revelly  confronted  Thatah  with  a  recount 
of  the  interview.  And  as  the  girl  sat  forlornly  in  front 
of  him,  he  mistook  her  anguish  for  wrath,  and  begged  her 
to  go  to  them  and  tell  them  their  mistake.  "  You've 
got  to,  Thatah,"  he  begged. 

Then  he  asked  her  why  they  couldn't  find  any  record 
at  St.  Vincent's. 

From  anger  and  vindictiveness,  her  mind  now  answered 
more  quickly  than  her  lips. 

"  I  didn't  get  Edric  at  St.  Vincent's,"  she  said  hotly. 


Hagar  Revelly  293 

"  Then  why  did  you  say  that  ?  "  he  begged  in  surprise. 

"  I  told  them  that  because  they  were  so  inquisitive  and 
suspicious.  I  would  have  told  them  the  police  station  if 
I  had  thought  of  it,  I  hate  them  so." 

"Thatah!" 

"Yes—!" 

"  Then  you  didn't  get  Edric  at  St.  Vincent's?  " 

"  No,  I  didn't." 

"  Then  where  did  you  get  him  ?  " 

"  I  won't  tell." 

She  answered  quietly,  and  added  after  a  moment's 
thought,  "  nor  will  I  ever." 

"  You  must  tell  me,"  he  demanded.     "  I  can  tell  them." 

Thatah  looked  at  her  father  with  fast  dimming  eyes. 

"  Father,  please  don't  ask  me,"  she  begged. 

"  You  refuse  to  tell  me,"  he  cried,  greatly  bewildered. 

"  I —  I  —  I  can't  tell  anyone,"  she  replied  in  a  voice 
that  wavered. 

Revelly  grasped  her  hands.  "  My  God  — !  Do  you 
know  what  they  are  saying?  They  say  that  you  are  the 
mother  and  that  we  must  leave  the  premises." 

Thatah  was  overwhelmed  by  his  statement. 

"  They  say  that !  "  she  cried  in  anger.  "  They  say 
that  I'm  the  mother?  Good  Heavens!" 

"  Yes,  Thatah,  they  say  that.  And  you  must  tell  them, 
therefore,  where  you  got  it.  This  thing  must  be  proven." 

In  that  moment  all  the  possibility  of  her  position  came 
vividly  before  Thatah.  She  saw  that  she  must  think 
quickly,  even  calmly  —  and  then  a  queer  feeling  came  into 
her  head. 

"  Father,  come,  I  feel  sick.  I'll  tell  you  in  a  moment," 
she  said,  sinking  into  a  chair. 

As  she  sat  there,  staring  at  her  father,  she  searched 
her  mind  frantically.  Could  she  tell  him  the  truth? 
Surely  not.  Even  though  she  break  her  promise  to  Ha- 


294  Hagar  Revelly 

gar,  the  news  might  cause  his  collapse  in  his  worn  con- 
dition. Though  he  never  mentioned  Hagar  to  her,  yet  she 
knew  the  place  Hagar  had  in  his  regard.  Had  she  not 
noticed  that  he  mentioned  Hagar's  name  with  a  little  hush 
and  reverence  in  his  voice.  For  him  Hagar  was  the  last 
cherished  memory  of  the  past,  and  he  clung  tenaciously 
to  that  last  remnant. 

Thatah  recalled  how  he  had  taken  a  picture  of  the 
girl  from  his  trunk  and  put  it  on  his  bureau.  She  re- 
membered how  he  would  often  look  at  it.  And  now  to 
herself  she  moaned,  "  Oh,  I  can't  tell  the  truth  —  I  can't. 
She  is  the  youngest.  It  would  kill  him." 

Her  father  was  studying  her  closely. 

"  You've  thought  long  enough,"  he  said  hotly.  "  Now 
tell  me."  He  grasped  her  arm  a  bit  roughly,  as  if  to 
awaken  her  to  action. 

"  I  can't,  father,"  she  confessed  at  last.  A  great  lump 
rose  in  her  throat.  "  I  can't  tell  them  —  or  you." 

Revelly  walked  away  from  her,  his  hands  clasping  and 
unclasping  at  his  back.  At  last  he  stopped  and  with  his 
back  still  to  her,  said  to  the  bare  walls,  "  You  hear,  it's 
true,  it's  true  —  oh,  my  God !  " 

His  senses  seemed  to  give  way  entirely.  Everything 
pointed  to  the  justification  of  their  accusation.  He  saw 
that  he  had  been  taken  in,  by  his  own  daughter.  His 
mind  was  flooded  by  proofs.  Thatah  was  now  making 
less  than  twenty  dollars  a  week,  yet  she  was  willing  to 
pay  four  dollars  out  of  that  sum  for  a  nurse  who  stayed 
with  the  child.  Why  had  he  not  thought  to  question  her 
about  that! 

Perceiving  the  anguish  that  lay  plainly  evidenced  in 
his  countenance,  Thatah  went  to  him  and  put  her  arms 
around  his  neck,  and  said: 

"  Father,  for  pity's  sake,  listen  to  me !  Don't  make 
this  thing  so  serious.  I  can't  tell  you.  I  wish  I  could. 


Hagar  Revelly  295 

I  promised  —  I  promised  the  woman  I  would  not  tell.  I 
dare  not  break  that.  Oh,  please  —  please  —  believe  me !  " 

And  in  turn  Revelly  pleaded  with  her  not  to  sacrifice 
the  other  woman  for  their  future  happiness.  "  Think 
what  it  means  if  you  don't  explain.  They  will  say  that 
their  convictions  are  right.  We  will  have  to  leave." 

"  I  can't  —  father  —  I  can't,"  she  begged. 

"  Then  you  care  more  for  this  —  other  woman  —  than 
you  do  for  me  —  than  you  do  for  yourself?" 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know.     Don't  ask  me." 

For  some  time  he  pleaded  with  her,  and  then  as  he  re- 
alized she  would  not  give  in,  he  turned  from  her,  and 
left  her  alone  for  some  minutes.  When  he  did  speak,  his 
words  choked  with  anger. 

"  I  can't  believe  that  you  are  so  foolish,"  he  said. 
"  However  " —  and  now  his  lips  were  drawn  tight  — "  you 
know  your  own  plans  best.  You  will  either  have  to  share 
the  secret  with  me  along  with  everything  else  —  that  — 
or  else  go  your  own  way." 

She  ran  to  his  side.  "  Oh,  father,  don't  say  that ! 
You  don't  know  what  I'd  go  through  for  you  —  or  have 
gone  through.  Please  don't  say  that !  " 

She  could  see  the  terrible,  strange  gaze  creeping  back 
into  his  eyes. 

"  I  don't  want  you  to  leave,"  he  said  sternly,  though 
a  bit  broken ;  "  but  I  won't  harbor  such  a  misdeed.  I  can 
only  believe  now  that  you  are  keeping  something  from  me, 
Thatah.  You've  told  me  so  little  about  your  work  this 
summer."  He  was  silent  for  a  time.  "  And  you've  been 
so  queer,  so  unusual,  since  taking  the  child.  Won't  you 
tell  me?" 

"  I  tell  you  they  are  wrong.  I  can't  tell  you  any  more, 
father,"  she  cried. 

"  Well,  we  will  have  to  leave  here,  and  wherever  we  went 
it  would  be  the  same.  One  boarding  house  is  like  another. 


296  Hagar  Revelly 

And  my  pupils  —  if  they  heard,  or  their  parents  heard, 
do  you  suppose  they  would  be  allowed  to  come  to  these 
rooms  ?  " 

Thatah  rose  from  the  chair. 

"  Enough,  father,  I'll  go  —  so  you  can  stay,"  she  said. 
"  I'll  get  things  fixed  up  and  leave  in  a  few  days,  with 
Edric."  Her  eyes  were  dry  and  her  voice  dull. 

At  the  end  of  the  week,  under  a  fusillade  of  glances 
from  behind  closed  shutters,  Thatah  moved  her  few  be- 
longings out  of  the  house,  and  with  Edric  who  was  now 
creeping  merrily  in  a  vain  effort  to  gain  his  unsteady 
feet,  she  rented  a  room  in  a  lodging  house  on  Fifty- 
seventh  Street.  .  .  •  . 

It  was  when  the  express  wagon  was  out  of  sight  that 
Mrs.  Costello  rushed  to  Professor  Revelly's  room  with  the 
desire  to  unload  some  words  of  sympathy. 

But  her  knock  was  answered  by  a  mumbled  oath  from 
within ;  she  could  hear  his  restless  pacing  across  the  floor 
of  the  room. 

So  she  stole  downstairs,  guiltily  fearing  that  some  one 
would  see  her  and  think  that  she  had  weakened  or  had 
sought  forgiveness  from  the  father. 

It  was  only  three  days,  however,  before  Thatah  was 
called  back  from  her  new  boarding  place.  Her  father 
had  become  seriously  ill. 

And  at  the  end  of  a  week  of  suffering,  the  sick  man 
became  too  weak  to  leave  his  bed.  Thatah  stayed  con- 
stantly by  his  side,  watching,  and  praying  that  her  fears 
were  groundless.  But  the  doctor  came  each  day  and 
pointed  out  to  her  further  signs  of  dissolution,  and  the 
sobbing  and  shaking  girl  was  soon  barely  able  to  keep  up 
under  her  load. 

It  seemed  to  her,  as  she  watched  the  shrunken  figure 
in  the  bed,  that  she  were  in  some  trance,  and  all  that  was 
happening,  only  a  dream ;  but  it  seemed  a  trance  which 


Hagar  Revelly  297 

left  her  in  full  possession  of  her  senses  and  made  her 
realize  the  painful  circumstances  even  more  keenly. 

An  unusual  part  of  his  illness  was  that  between  the 
deliriums,  his  mind  would  be  very  clear.  And  then  his 
words,  full  of  sadness  and  disappointment,  would  further 
rend  the  feelings  of  the  girl  at  his  bedside,  although  he 
never  mentioned  the  incident  that  had  driven  her  from 
him. 

"  Do  you  remember,  Thatah,  when  I  used  to  carry  you 
on  my  shoulder  ?  "  he  would  ask. 

Thatah  could  not  speak,  her  heart  too  full  of  unhap- 
piness.  She  could  only  take  his  vein-ridden  hand  and 
press  it,  feeling  that  she  dare  not  answer  him,  for  fear  of 
weakening  and  betraying  her  emotions. 

Often  he  spoke  of  his  favorite  Heine,  seeming  to  liken 
his  own  life  to  that  of  the  dead  poet.  One  afternoon, 
when  the  light  from  the  setting  sun  came  into  the  room 
and  gave  it  a  queer  appearance  of  mingled  shadows  and 
high  lights,  he  quoted  to  her  the  last  lines  of  the  "  Enfant 
Perdu." 

"  But  I  have  fallen  unvanquished  —  sword  unbroken, 
The  only  thing  that's  broken  is  my  heart." 

Then  he  looked  up,  exclaiming :  "  Oh,  Thatah,  how 
true  that  is." 

She  could  scarcely  breathe,  a  great  sense  of  constric- 
tion coming  into  her  throat,  while  the  tears  ran  down  her 
cheeks. 

He  perceived  her  unhappiness,  and  said,  "  No,  no,  Tha- 
tah. You  have  youth  yet,  child.  You  must  not  be  un- 
happy." 

Thatah  made  an  effort  at  smiling  and  wiped  away  her 
tears,  at  the  same  time,  saying  in  a  low  voice :  "  Oh,  I 
am  not  unhappy,  father.  But  you  must  get  well,  you 
must,  you  must !  " 


298  Hagar  Revelly 

He  answered,  half  to  himself :  "  Oh,  what  does  it  all 
amount  to?  Everything  ends  in  nothing,  everything  is 
empty,  futile,  at  the  end." 

At  another  time,  a  few  evenings  later,  she  came  into  the 
room  to  find  him  staring  at  the  ceiling,  and  muttering 
aloud.  She  ran  up  to  him  crying :  "  Please,  father, 
please  — " 

But  he  went  on  speaking,  seemingly  unaware  that  she 
was  listening  to  him,  although  he  directed  his  words  en- 
tirely to  her.  For  the  first  time,  he  seemed  dazed.  There 
were  tears  in  his  eyes. 

"  Yes,  I  know  life,"  he  said,  shaking  his  head,  as  shej 
tried  to  stop  him.  "  Yes,  I  know  how  we  fool  ourselves 
over  it,  how  we  expect  and  build  and  believe,  knowing  full 
well  that  we  have  nothing  to  do  with  our  destiny." 

Though  he  spoke  slowly,  laboriously,  and  each  effort 
appeared  to  take  all  his  strength,  he  kept  on,  and  nothing 
that  Thatah  could  do  would  divert  his  attention. 

The  sunlight  had  slowly  disappeared  from  the  room, 
leaving  his  gaunt  face  in  a  veil-like  shadow.  Thatah 
could  not  look  at  him  and  sat  with  her  face  to  the  wall, 
while  she  clasped  his  hand. 

"  We  are  constructed  to  live  out  a  certain  period  of 
years,  if  all  goes  well,  Thatah,"  he  kept  on  feebly.  "  Yes, 
it's  unalterable.  Even  then  it  would  not  be  so  bad,  if  a 
mind  had  not  been  given  us ;  but  we  have  placed  within 
us  a  propensity  for  feeling  and  experiencing  emotions. 
Yes,  that  is  the  great  wrong." 

"  Please,  please,  quiet  yourself.  You  need  this 
strength,"  Thatah  begged. 

His  voice  was  weak  and  the  hands  that  lay  in  Thatah's, 
trembled  with  every  breath.  However,  he  seemed  deter- 
mined to  word  his  thoughts. 

"  The  normal  state  should  be  happiness,"  he  whispered. 
"  We  should  all  be  free  beings  —  to  breathe  and  enjoy  - 


Hagar  Revelly  299 

and  sing  the  song  of  life.  Yes,  that's  the  way  it  ought 
to  be.  But  the  abnormal  state  is  happiness  —  and  we 
can  only  measure  it  —  by  the  contrast  —  born  of  our 
misery." 

"  Please,  father,  don't  tremble  so." 

He  was  speaking  from  his  very  depths,  his  hands  shak- 
ing, his  lips  quivering,  his  eyes  closed. 

"  You  have  been  so  unhappy,  all  your  life,  father," 
pleaded  Thatah.  "  Please,  don't  let  me  see  you  this  way 
now." 

He  searched  for  her  hand  along  the  border  of  the  white* 
sheet  and  when  at  last  he  had  found  it,  a  sigh  escaped 
from  his  lips. 

"  Yes,  I  am  going  to  die,"  he  breathed,  nearly  inaudibly. 
The  words  brought  to  Thatah's  aching  heart  a  fresh 
tumult  of  agony. 

Although  he  was  suffering  intense  physical  pain,  his 
agony  of  mind  was  manifestly  greater.  And  she  labored 
gallantly  to  soothe  him  into  a  state  of  greater  calm. 

It  was  only  after  night  had  brought  its  darker  shadows 
into  the  room  that  she  was  able  to  quiet  him,  and  could 
go  into  the  small  room  that  was  temporarily  her  own 
again,  for  a  few  hours  of  sleep. 

The  professor  rested  better  the  next  few  days  and  Tha- 
tah became  more  encouraged.  It  seemed  that  her  coming 
had  given  him  added  strength. 

Then  the  disease  began  to  attack  afresh  his  non-re- 
sistant organisms ;  the  anasarca  became  more  noticeably 
apparent,  the  oedema  infiltrated  into  the  lower  lids,  until 
they  looked  like  little  sacks;  his  entire  shrunken  frame 
spoke  of  fast  ebbing  vitality. 

On  the  twelfth  day  after  he  had  taken  to  his  bed,  Eman 
Revelly  died. 


CHAPTER  XXIII 

HAGAR'S  feeling  of  ecstasy  in  her  first  month  of  the  new- 
position  soon  passed  into  the  second  month,  when  her  in- 
terest waned  —  the  third  bored  her  altogether,  even 
though  she  had  success  in  her  sales. 

The  very  things  which  had  at  first  been  so  pleasant, 
now  bothered  her.  After  the  weeks  of  turmoil  and  heart 
stress  she  had  endured,  the  petty  gossip  of  the  girls  be- 
hind the  counter  had  come  like  some  sweet  music  to  her. 
They  were  welcoming  chimes  that  spoke  of  quiet  and 
peace. 

But  her  previous  soul  weariness  and  fathoming  into 
the  depths  had  played  their  part.  She  quickly  became 
dull  and  stupid,  and  soon  found  herself  fairly  ashamed  to 
look  into  the  eyes  of  a  customer. 

A  rebellion  arose  in  her  now.  Why  should  she  be  wait- 
ing on  people,  talking  respectfully  and  courteously  to 
them?  Who  were  they  that  she  should  act  like  their  serv- 
ant? 

One  day  she  was  openly  insulted.  A  dark  woman,  at- 
tired in  a  rich  crimson  broad-cloth,  swept  into  the  aisle, 
and  stopped  at  her  counter. 

"  Tell  me,  Mary,"  said  the  woman,  looking  at  Hagar ; 
"  where  are  the  laces  ?  " 

"  That  way,"  answered  Hagar,  pointing  to  a  distant 
counter,  and  then  adding  a  little  angrily ;  "  however,  my 
name  isn't  Mary !  " 

The  woman  looked  at  her,  "  Such  impertinence,"  she 

gasped. 

300 


Hagar  Revelly  301 

Then  Hagar  saw  her  edge  off  in  a  flustering  indigna- 
tion to  hunt  up  the  floor  walker. 

It  aroused  Hagar  tremendously,  and  she  had  to  fight 
hard  to  keep  from  leaving  her  position  back  of  the  counter 
and  confronting  the  woman. 

The  metamorphosis  in  Hagar  took  place  gradually, 
during  the  weeks  that  followed.  When  a  well-dressed 
woman  approached  her,  immediately  she  became  absorbed 
in  a  contemplation  of  the  gown  that  adorned  her  patron, 
even  to  the  neglect  of  the  customer's  wishes ;  if  the  little 
woman  who  worked  at  her  side  spoke  to  her,  she  answered 
with  coldness  and  disdain. 

At  the  beginning  of  the  third  month,  the  manager  had 
spoken  to  her  three  times,  regarding  her  lack  of  polite- 
ness. 

She  became  abnormally  quiet,  as  the  weeks  went  on,  as 
though  she  were  always  thinking  deeply.  When  people 
talked  to  her,  a  queer  little  smile  pirouetted  about  her  full 
lips ;  if  she  laughed  sometimes  it  was  a  laugh  that  was 
vague  and  unfathomable,  with  a  ring  of  derision  in  it.  It 
was  as  if  she  had  battled  with  giants  and  was  now  looking 
upon  their  prostrated  forms  and  pitying  their  weakness. 

If  ever  she  talked  to  those  around,  there  was  something 
savage  in  her  words.  Had  she  been  less  pretty,  they 
would  have  called  it  plain  anger.  As  it  was,  they  found 
mystery  and  romance  in  her  bitterness. 

Another  and  greater  change  took  place  in  her.  No 
more  did  she  become  excited  or  have  strange  throbbings 
in  her  heart ;  not  even  when,  one  day,  she  nearly  ran  into 
Greenfield  in  front  of  the  store.  She  simply  sulked  into 
the  crowd  that  was  watching  a  display  in  the  show  win- 
dows, and  became  one  of  the  conglomerate  mass  until  he 
had  passed. 

Often  there  crept  into  her  thoughts,  a  question  that 
begged  for  the  reason  of  this  peculiar  change  in  her.  It 


302  Hagar  Revelly 

seemed  that  something  had  gripped  her  heart  and  held  it 
away  from  her  realler  feelings.  She  found  that  she  could 
understand  the  hidden  meanings  in  every  word  of  hypoc- 
risy which  came  to  her  ears.  When  men  glanced  at  her 
now,  she  read  their  thoughts.  There  was  no  more  a  feel- 
ing of  elation  when  people  talked  kindly  to  her.  She  only 
reasoned  that  the  kind  words  were  of  very  little  material 
use,  the  way  the  world  goes  on.  Almost  uncanny  was 
she  now  in  her  ability  to  discard  everything  but  what 
would  teach  her  something  or  make  her  more  wise  and  ex- 
perienced. 

In  only  a  few  months  did  she  seem  to  have  come  from 
her  youthful  innocence  into  a  woman  of  the  world.  And 
though  her  eyes  were  quite  as  limpid,  her  mouth  just  as 
virginal  and  youthful,  there  was  in  her  mind  a  wild  clamor- 
ing, a  relentless  searching  for  more  and  greater  gifts  from 
life. 

Always  waiting  for  something  to  happen,  hoping  eter- 
nally, but  silently,  and  never  confiding  the  slightest  con- 
fidence to  anyone,  she  lay  in  bed  each  morning,  with  the 
sun  streaming  in  upon  her  from  between  the  slits  in  the 
shutters,  asking  that  the  something  happen  that  day ;  and 
when  the  day  was  over,  and  the  vague  thing  that  would 
stimulate  her  had  not  made  known  its  presence,  she  would 
go  home,  resigned,  saddened  a  little,  but  waiting  for  the 
morrow. 

It  was  fortunate  that  her  charming  manner  did  not  so 
easily  desert  her,  although  it  may  have  been  a  pose  on 
her  part.  When  she  was  away  from  the  store  and  people, 
and  alone  in  her  little  room  at  the  boarding  house,  there 
would  be  some  minutes  when  she  became  hard  visaged,  and 
her  countenance  would  gain  the  appearance  of  some  caged 
animal  —  of  an  animal  who,  as  he  walks  up  and  down  be- 
hind the  steel  bars,  peers  out  enigmatically  into  the  faces 
of  the  crowd  before  it. 


Hagar  Revelly  303 

But  in  her  eyes  there  still  lurked  the  expression  of 
dormant  passion  so  tremendously  attractive.  It  continued 
to  be  part  of  the  mysterious  veil  of  beauty  that  fascinated 
anyone  with  whom  she  came  in  contact,  just  as  her  voice 
retained  the  dulcet  music  that  spoke  of  yearning  and  in- 
nocence. 

One  night  she  passed  the  Belasco  Theatre.  A  desire 
to  eat  alone,  downtown,  instead  of  sharing  the  board  at 
home,  kept  her  until  nearly  eight  o'clock.  Then,  her 
umbrella  in  hand  (the  weather  had  warmed  suddenly  and 
settled  into  a  fine  drizzle),  she  wandered  up  Sixth  Avenue 
and  over  past  Broadway.  When  she  came  to  the  broad 
passage  way  in  front  of  the  theatre,  with  all  the  carriages 
and  automobiles  pouring  out  their  well-dressed  occupants, 
she  drew  back  into  the  shadow  of  the  gallery  door. 

A  long  time  had  it  been  since  she  had  witnessed  such 
gaiety,  emblazoned  by  silks  and  jewels,  and  she  stood 
quietly,  observing  closely  the  people  that  walked  by. 
Once,  as  an  elegantly  gowned  woman  passed  her,  she  un- 
consciously looked  down  onto  the  frayed  edge  of  her  own 
coat  sleeve  —  and  suddenly  remembered  how  poor  she  was 
and  that  she  was  not  of  this  world  of  silks  and  jewels. 

Just  missing  by  an  inch  the  slanting  mist  as  it  came 
down  onto  the  sidewalk,  Hagar  became  filled  with  a  feeling 
of  utter  resentment.  The  ugly  faces  buried  in  their 
ropes  of  pearls  taunted  her,  the  sheen  of  their  silks,  that 
covered  the  many  illy-formed  ankles,  made  her  feel  like 
running  out  and  showing  them  her  own  well-rounded 
limbs. 

She  half  whispered  to  herself  that  they  had  no  more 
right  to  the  fine  clothes  than  she.  Hadn't  she  known 
depths  to  which  they  would  never  descend ;  hadn't  she  suf- 
fered, loved;  was  not  her  face  quite  as  pretty,  if  not 
prettier  than  any  one  of  those  who  stepped  from  the  au- 
tomobiles and  carriages? 


304  Hagar  Revelly 

Involuntarily  she  grasped  at  the  little  lace  piece  about 
her  collar.  It  was  stiff  and  coarse.  But  no  wonder  — 
did  she  not  have  to  pay  full  price  now  for  such  things? 
When  she  was  with  Greenfield  —  she  remembered  the  box 
of  silk  stockings  he  had  presented  to  her.  Why,  she  could 
be  as  richly  dressed,  as  these  people,  if  she  wished  it.  The 
thought  brought  back  a  little  of  her  proud  spirit. 

That  night,  Hagar  sat  on  the  edge  of  her  quilted  bed 
and  for  nearly  the  first  time,  carefully  manicured  her 
nails  —  until  it  was  long  past  midnight. 

It  was  a  difficult  task  for  Hagar  to  stay  at  her  work, 
after  that  night  in  front  of  the  Belasco  Theatre.  She 
could  not  quite  account  for  it,  except  that  it  seemed  such 
a  waste  of  time  and  energy  to  be  working  for  a  few  dol- 
lars a  week  and  such  a  hardship  to  be  kind  to  the  patrons, 
when  none  of  the  money  came  into  her  own  pocket. 

One  Monday  morning  she  was  insolent  to  one  of  the 
store  detectives  who  came  to  her  disguised  as  a  shopper. 
And  that  afternoon  a  little  red-faced  woman,  took  her 
place  beside  Hagar,  and  Mr.  Mathering,  the  head  of  the 
department,  notified  her  that  she  was  to  "  break  in  "  the 
little  woman,  then  call  for  her  pay. 

On  the  first  of  the  month  Hagar  found  herself  without 
a  position,  and  utterly  without  knowledge  of  any  posi- 
tion that  might  please  her.  But  it  really  bothered  her 
very  little. 

A  few  months  before,  childish  innocence  might  have 
compelled  Hagar  to  suffer  deeply  from  her  present  cir- 
cumstance. 

It  was  indeed  different  now.  Instead  of  giving  in  and 
sitting  in  her  room,  to  brood  over  her  luck,  she  became 
more  determined  and  resolute  than  ever  in  her  life. 

Fixing  up  the  little  brown  tailor-made  suit  she  had 
saved  from  the  past,  she  spent  the  whole  evening  in  mend- 
ing and  pressing  it ;  and  then  sallied  into  the  bright  sun- 


Hagar  Revelly  305 

light  the  next  morning,  with  the  mood  of  a  butterfly  which 
had  just  come  from  out  its  chrysalis. 

True,  she  realized  what  might  happen  if  she  were  un- 
successful in  obtaining  the  position  she  wanted. 

But  of  one  thing  she  was  certain.  No  matter  in  what 
straits  she  found  herself,  she  would  not  again  accept  a 
position  in  a  department  store.  There  was  so  little  chance 
for  advancement  there,  and  so  very  little  opportunity  for 
excitement. 

It  was  excitement  she  craved  after  all,  Hagar  now  re- 
alized. How  foolish  she  had  been  not  to  know  that  be- 
fore, how  idiotic  she  had  been  when  listening  to  those 
cooing  words  of  Herrick,  and  thinking  that  the  earning 
of  eight  dollars  a  week  was  the  road  to  riches  and  success. 

Many  plans  swept  through  Hagar  as  she  stepped 
blithely  down  the  poverty  worn  stair's  carpet  that  led  to 
the  street  vestibule.  She  would  not  be  a  fool  again.  She 
was  free.  Thatah  had  been  fool  enough  to  burden  herself 
with  the  Herrick's  off-spring;  so  much  more  reason  was 
there  that  she  should  not  be  a  fool,  too. 

Hagar  thought  of  the  places  that  she  might  visit  in 
search  for  a  position.  Of  course,  Greenfield  would  take 
her  back  —  but  she  remembered  his  conditions.  And  then 
she  would  not  again  do  department  store  work,  anyway. 

At  noon  she  stopped  to  rest  against  a  counter  at  Alt- 
man's.  By  her  side  stood  a  young  woman,  who  was  deep 
in  the  purchase  of  some  silk  stockings.  Absorbed  with 
her  own  thoughts,  Hagar  gave  her  very  little  attention 
until  by  instinct,  her  attention  was  attracted  to  the  pur- 
chaser. 

The  young  woman  said  to  the  girl  back  of  the  counter : 
"  Send  them  up  to  the  Plotel  Astor,  right  away.  I  want 
to  wear  them  to-night."  Then  a  sudden  thought  made 
her  change  her  mind  and  she  directed  that  the  parcel  be 
sent  to  the  stage  door  of  the  Casino. 


306  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Oh,  are  you  an  actress?  "  Hagar  heard  the  girl  ask 
with  admiration. 

The  actress  answered,  very  patronizingly,  "  Yes,  child." 

Immediately  after  she  left  the  counter,  Hagar  ques- 
tioned the  salesgirl. 

"  What  was  her  name  ?  "  asked  Hagar. 

"You  mean  the  woman  that  just  left?"     ' 

Hagar  nodded. 

"  Gee,  she  was  a  beauty,  wasn't  she  ?  "  the  girl  com- 
mented, and  then  looked  on  her  order  slip. 

"  Helene  Travers,  that's  her,"  said  the  girl  in  a  mo- 
ment. 

Hagar  was  at  the  little  box  office  window  of  the  Casino 
Theatre,  quite  before  she  realized  that  something  more 
crucial  demanded  her  attention  than  following  up  a  bit 
of  curiosity.  But  there  seemed  so  little  else  for  her  to 
'do.  Four  want  columns  had  failed  to  show  anything  that 
enticed  her. 

"  I  just  wanted  a  programme,"  she  told  the  ticket  man. 
"  I've  got  a  friend  in  the  show." 

Out  in  the  street  again,  she  read  in  very  small  print, 
under  the  sub-title  — "  Waitresses  in  Restaurant,"  third 
act ;  the  name  — "  Helene  Travers." 

"  And  she  lives  at  the  Astor,"  thought  Hagar.  "  A 
charge  account  and  living  at  the  Hotel  Astor ! " 

As  Hagar  thought  over  it  she  wondered  if  it  would  not 
be  an  adventure  to  seek  employment  at  some  theatrical 
agency,  telling  herself  quite  seriously  that  she  would  be 
willing  to  take  a  very  small  salary  for  a  few  weeks  until 
she  could  learn  about  the  work. 

A  dozen  times  she  asked  herself,  as  she  walked  down  the 
street,  "  I  wonder  if  I  could  do  it." 

By  the  time  she  had  reached  Forty-second  Street,  she 
had  bought  an  Evening  Telegram,  and  managed  to  find 


Hagar  Revelly  307 

the  name  of  a  hall  on  Sixth  Avenue,  where  "  Girls  were 
wanted  for  a  new  Broadway  success." 

It  was  an  adventure  indeed,  and  she  felt  quite  gay  and 
light-hearted  as  she  hunted  for  the  address.  She  was  not 
at  all  aware  that  no  reputable  management  obtained  girls 
in  this  manner. 

The  hall  was  over  a  drug  store  and  after  climbing  up 
three  flights  of  stairs,  she  entered  a  long  narrow  room 
filled  with  people  and  tobacco  smoke.  At  the  farthest 
end  were  congregated  about  twenty  men  and  women  in  a 
group,  chatting  and  laughing,  while  at  the  end  nearest 
the  door  behind  a  dilapidated  Japanese  screen,  sat  a  man, 
coatless  and  sleeves  rolled  up,  busily  engaged  in  interview- 
ing two  young  women  who  confronted  him. 

Taking  him  to  be  the  manager,  from  the  pompous  man- 
ner in  which  he  talked,  Hagar  decided  to  quietly  stand 
by  their  side  until  she  could  speak  to  him.  Her  heart  was 
giving  queer  little  jumps  and  as  she  heard  the  questions 
he  asked  of  the  girls,  she  was  actually  too  startled  to 
move. 

"  What  have  you  done? 

"Your  last  engagement? 

"  Stand  off  over  there. 

"  Let's  see  your  legs  ?  " 

Then  she  turned  and  fled  precipitously  down  the  wooden 
stairs. 

"  Oh,  my  Lord !  "  she  muttered  to  herself.  "  Oh,  my 
Lord !  " 

Buried  in  troublesome  thought,  Hagar  entered  a  drug 
store  and  was  at  the  telephone  before  she  was  really  aware 
that  it  was  Greenfield  to  whom  she  was  calling  in  her  mo- 
ment of  distress. 

"  Give  me  Chelsea  68131,"  she  called  in  a  trembling 
voice. 


308  Hagar  Revelly 

All  too  soon  she  recognized  the  voice  of  the  central  at 
Rheinchild's. 

She  half  whispered.  "I  —  I  want  to  speak  —  tq  Mr. 
Greenfield." 

The  small  voice  came  back.  "  Out  to  lunch.  Back 
at  two  —  good-bye." 

How  she  thanked  Heaven  for  the  respite,  as  she  hung 
up  the  receiver. 

But  when  she  called  again  and  had  him  on  the  wire, 
her  heart  pounded  as  treacherously  as  ever,  though  she 
was  somewhat  reassured  by  the  kindness  of  his  voice.  It 
seemed  so  good  to  hear  him  again. 

"  Well,  well,  Hagar,"  she  heard  him  say.  She  could 
quite  distinguish  the  surprise  and  wonder  in  his  words. 

"  Yes,  it  is  Hagar,"  she  answered.  And  then,  "  Oh, 
Mr.  Greenfield,  I  didn't  want  to  see  you  again  —  but  I 
can't  help  it.  I'm  —  I'm  out  of  a  job  —  that's  all  I  want 
to  see  you  about.  Can  I  have  back  the  guide  job?" 

"  Well,  well,  well,"  his  voice  came  back,  so  soft  and 
comforting. 

There  was  a  silence. 

"  What's   the   matter  ?  "   she   begged. 

"  Come  over  and  see  me  right  away,  child,"  he  replied. 

She  hesitated.  Stand  before  him  again,  face  to  face! 
How  could  she? 

But  hadn't  she  believed  that  she  must  do  that  sooner 
or  later? 

"  What  time  will  you  be  here  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  I  can  come  right  away.     I'm  not  working  to-day." 

For  fear  that  her  voice  would  weaken  at  the  last  mo- 
ment and  betray  her  feelings,  she  quickly  hung  up  the 
receiver,  and  then  regretted  her  abrupt  ending  of  their 
talk. 

In  the  ladies'  dressing  room  at  the  Knickerbocker  Hotel, 
she  sat  down  for  a  few  minutes  to  collect  her  thoughts. 


Hagar  Revelly  309 

For  the  first  time  she  asked  herself  what  she  was  doing. 
Was  she  returning  to  Greenfield  to  really  get  back  her 
position  as  guide?  After  all,  was  there  not  a  little  un- 
truth in  that?  And  would  he  approach  her  again  upon 
the  old  subject? 

A  bit  of  lip  rouge  and  a  dab  of  powder  made  her  feel 
braver,  and  the  kind  smile  of  the  woman  in  charge  gave 
her  more  assurance. 

Yet  when  she  entered  the  great,  huge  entrance  of  Rhein- 
child's,  she  felt  stiff  and  cold  —  as  though  she  were  in  a 
trance. 

"  Where  —  where  is  Mr.  Greenfield's  office  now  ?  "  she 
asked  of  the  blonde-haired  starter  of  the  elevators. 

The  man  looked  at  her :  "  Sixth  floor,  lady.  What  do 
you  — "  Then  he  recognized  her.  "  Oh,  the  same  as 
always,"  he  added. 

And  somehow,  his  word  of  recognition  gave  her  a  certain 
feeling  of  intimacy,  that  braved  her  in  much  the  same 
manner  as  had  the  smile  of  the  lady  in  the  dressing  room. 

The  elevator  man  could  not  know  how  crucial  was  his 
smile,  and  how  her  heart  was  beating  as  she  walked  into 
the  mirrowed  cage. 


CHAPTER  XXIV 

SHE  was  before  Greenfield,  holding  his  hand.  She  told 
herself  that  he  was  better  looking  now  than  when  she  had 
known  him  before;  he  seemed  to  have  more  color  in  his 
face.  But  she  felt  disappointed  when  she  saw  his 
clothes  fitted  him  less  snugly,  and  that  he  seemed  to  be 
careless  in  the  way  his  hair  was  combed.  His  nails  were 
unmanicured,  too,  and  his  shoes  were  dull  and  streaky. 

Hagar  was  coming  in  for  a  like  examination  at  his  hands 
and  the  while  he  realized  she  was  studying  him,  Greenfield 
told  himself  this  little  woman  had  suffered  since  he 
had  last  seen  her ;  that  she  was  more  calm  and  experienced 
looking. 

Greenfield  held  her  hand  for  a  long  time  before  saying 
anything. 

At  last,  very  softly,  even  wistfully,  as  if  a  year  of  long- 
ing lay  wrapped  in  his  words,  he  said :  "  So,  Hagar  — 
you  are  back?  " 

"  Yes,  I  should  like  to  have  my  old  position  back,  if 
possible,  Mr.  Greenfield."  Noticing  that  he  was  willing 
to  let  her  go  on,  she  added :  "  To-day,  I  didn't  think  I 
wanted  to  work  in  a  department  store  again  —  but  I  think 
I'd  take  back  my  old  position." 

She  stood  quietly  in  front  of  him,  feeling  that  it  would 
be  poor  policy  to  say  anything  further  until  he  spoke. 

Greenfield  was  playing  with  a  little  paper  knife  on  his 
desk. 

"What's  the  matter?"  asked  Hagar. 

Smiling  faintly,  he  turned  to  her.     "  Sit  down,  Hagar, 

won't  you?  " 

310 


Ha  gar  Revelly  Sll 

She  took  the  chair  he  offered  her. 

"  Well,  I'm  awfully  glad  to  see  you,  little  girl,"  he  said. 

It  was  a  relief  for  her  to  hear  him  speak. 

He  repeated  again,  "  Awfully  glad." 

At  that  moment  Hagar  wished  that  she  could  ask 
him  about  the  year  that  had  passed,  and  if  he  had 
been  well  and  having  a  good  time.  However,  something 
seemed  to  keep  her  from  showing  that  she  had  given  him 
a  thought  in  that  time.  "  Then  I  could  have  my  position 
back?  "  w.as  all  she  could  say.  Without  answer,  Green- 
field continued  to  look  at  her  in  his  queer  searching  way. 
She  wondered  if  he  knew  what  had  happened  to  her  and 
had  heard  in  some  way  of  her  past  trouble.  She  even  felt 
that  it  would  be  best  to  tell  him  everything  before  he  had 
a  chance  to  ask  her. 

Then  he  spoke,  and  although  his  words  brought  little 
encouragement,  yet  she  felt  very  happy  to  know  that  he 
was  totally  unaware  of  the  details  of  her  woeful  expe- 
riences. 

"  I'm  afraid,  Hagar,"  he  began,  "  that  you  can't  have 
the  position  —  that  is,  I  don't  believe  I  could  fix  it  offhand. 
Maybe  —  in  time ;  but  there  is  another  girl  in  the  position 
now  —  she's  had  it  since  you  left,  and  as  she  is  fairly 
satisfactory  to  the  firm,  I  couldn't  —  well,  you  under- 
stand, Hagar,  don't  you  ?  " 

He  looked  up  at  her.  She  hardly  knew  how  to 
answer. 

"  Well,  I'm  sorry,"  she  mastered  at  last. 

She  had  never  thought  of  this  contingency. 

"  But  don't  be  unhappy,"  he  came  back  with  a  smile. 
"  I  am  still  as  fond  of  you  as  ever." 

Quite  before  she  thought,  she  said :  "  I'm  awfully 
glad." 

"Are  you,  Hagar?"  he  asked,  as  he  looked  at  her 
steadily. 


31  £  Hagar  Revelly 

She  thought  that  after  all  it  would  not  be  so  difficult  to 
get  back  her  position. 

Soon  he  leaned  over  to  her,  and  grasped  her  hands  im- 
petuously, saying,  once  or  twice,  "  Hagar,  girl,  I'm  glad 
to  see  you." 

Then  he  sat  back  in  his  chair. 

"  Where  are  you  working  now?  " 

"  Why,  I  —  was  at  Macy's." 

"  Don't  you  like  it  there?  " 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know.  I  want  something  different.  The 
girls  there  get  on  my  nerves.  And  then,"  she  looked  down 
at  a  little  hole  showing  itself  in  her  kid  gloves,  "  I 
want  more,  something  —  I  guess  I  can't  explain  it,  only 
—  well,  I  know  I  just  can't  stand  back  of  a  counter  any 
more." 

As  he  remained  silent,  she  added :  "  I  guess  I  am  getting 
a  little  older." 

Greenfield  said  very  softly,  "  I  understand,  Hagar." 

She  noticed  that  his  words  were  kind  and  gentle,  and 
that  he  was  smiling. 

Then  she  cast  her  eyes  upon  the  floor,  waiting  for  him 
to  say  something.  When  she  looked  up,  the  smile  was 
still  on  his  face. 

"  Well,  I  guess  I'd  better  be  going,"  she  exclaimed,  rest- 
lessly, and  arose  from  her  chair. 

He  arose  with  her,  and  extended  his  hand.  "  I'm  sorry, 
Hagar,  that  I  haven't  anything  at  the  present  time." 
When  he  patted  her  hand  and  wrists,  there  seemed  real 
affection  in  his  words.  "  Really,  I  am  sorry,  dear  little 
Hagar.  But  I'll  let  you  know  if  there  is  any  chance. 
Will  you  step  in  to  see  me  in  a  few  days  ?  " 

She  replied  very  earnestly,  "  Yes,  I'd  be  glad  to." 

As  she  was  walking  through  the  door,  he  asked  very 
casually,  "  Where  did  you  say  you  were  living?  " 

Hagar  gave  him  her  address,  wondering  if  she  would 


Hagar  Revelly  313 

have  to  explain  how  she  came  to  be  living  in  a  new  place. 
Then  she  saw  him  studying  the  name  on  the  card. 

"  Yes,  I  use  Mrs.  Kennedy  as  a  name  now,"  she  laughed 
lightly. 

He  gave  a  start.  "  Why,  Hagar,  you  are  not 
married?  " 

She  laughed.  "  Good  heavens,  no.  I  only  do  that  so 
—  well,  so  they  won't  think  it's  funny  because  I  stay  in  so 
much." 

"  Oh,  I  see,"  he  answered ;  and  then,  more  seriously, 
"  All  right,  I'll  remember,  Mrs. —  Kennedy." 

They  both  went  to  the  door  laughing,  for  no  apparent 
reason. 

And  Hagar  was  out  in  the  hall  already,  and  walking 
rapidly  toward  the  elevator,  when  she  heard  Greenfield  call 
her  name.  Looking  back,  she  saw  him  still  standing  in  the 
doorway. 

When  she  had  come  nearer  to  him,  he  asked : 

"  What  are  you  doing  to-night,  Hagar?  Do  you  want 
to  take  dinner  with  me?  " 

A  world  of  thought  swept  over  her  in  that  instant.  So 
he  did  want  her  after  all ! 

"  Why,  I'm  sorry" —  she  stumbled  on  each  word  — 
"  I've  got  an  engagement  for  dinner  to-night." 

Her  knees  trembled,  and  he  seemed  to  be  standing  there 
looking  at  her,  enveloped  in  a  queer  sort  of  haze.  She 
wondered  how  she  could  have  been  so  audacious. 

"  Very  well,  drop  in  to  see  me  any  old  time."  The  dis- 
appointment showed  plainly  on  his  face.  "  Good-bye." 

"  Good-bye."     She  took  his  extended  hand. 

Hagar  was  on  the  street,  before  she  dared  question  her- 
self as  to  the  advisability  of  this  procedure. 

Something  had  told  her  it  was  the  right  thing  to  do,  and 
would  make  him  more  anxious. 

But  when  she  reached  home  and  sat  alone  in  her  little 


314»  Hagar  Revelly 

room,  she  was  more  depressed  than  ever  and  wished  she  had 
not  tried  to  be  so  clever  with  him. 

Drawing  a  rocker  up  to  the  window,  she  sat  for  a  whole 
hour  looking  out  into  the  street  below,  comparing  herself 
with  a  number  of  dirty-faced  children,  who  were  laughing 
and  running  along  the  curbing.  When  the  bell  rang  for 
supper,  she  felt  not  at  all  hungry,  deciding  she  would 
rather  sit  alone  in  her  room,  than  go  downstairs  and  listen 
to  the  boarders'  conversations. 

She  sat  there,  thinking;  thinking  the  wall  paper  was 
more  greasy  looking ;  the  little  carpet  more  worn ;  her  own 
brown  suit  very  shabby,  after  all  her  mending  and 
pressing. 

A  knock  at  the  door  jerked  her  from  her  reflections. 
Somehow,  she  was  really  frightened,  when  she  asked 
"Who's  there?"  Probably,  she  thought,  from  sitting 
quiet  so  long. 

It  was  a  note  in  Greenfield's  handwriting,  brought  by  a 
special  messenger. 

"  Thank  you,"  she  said  to  the  servant  who  brought  it, 
and  when  the  door  was  closed,  she  started  a  little  frantic- 
ally to  tear  it  open. 

Then  she  controlled  herself,  as  if  some  hidden  person  in 
the  room  were  observing  her. 

"  You  fool,"  she  said  to  herself,  and  with  more  than 
necessary  deliberation,  tore  open  the  envelope. 

"Dear  Hagar: 

I  am  sending  this  note  on  a  chance.  I  want  to  see  you,  and 
I  don't  believe  you  have  an  engagement.  I'll  stay  at  the 
address  you  know  on  Eighty-seventh  Street  to-night,  so  you  can 
come  as  late  as  you  want.  It  may  be  that  you  won't  get  this 
note  much  before  nine  o'clock  anyway. 

I  am  so  anxious  to  see  you.     Don't  be  a  fool,  Hagar." 

She  looked  at  the  piece  of  paper  steadily  for  many 


Hagar  Revelly  815 

minutes.  With  a  sudden  determination  she  went  over  to 
the  closet.  "  I  believe  I'll  go,"  she  said  to  herself,  a  feel- 
ing of  pique,  because  he  had  so  easily  fathomed  her  lie 
to  him,  making  her  hesitate  a  moment  as  she  reached  up 
for  a  long  grey  veil.  Then  she  exclaimed,  a  little  sav- 
agely, "  Oh,  what's  the  use  of  fooling  myself,"  and  in  a 
moment  she  had  put  on  her  hat  and  closed  the  door  after 
her,  and  walked  down  the  stairs  to  the  street  and  sub- 
way. 

After  all,  why  shouldn't  she  go  ?  It  wasn't  as  if  she  had 
something  else  to  fall  back  on. 

However,  she  was  just  a  little  nervous,  and  when  the 
man  called  "  Grand  Central,"  she  arose  with  the  crowd  and 
walked  up  the  steps  before  she  was  aware  that  she  was 
getting  off  at  the  wrong  station. 

Then  she  saw  by  a  clock  that  it  was  yet  very  early,  and 
so  decided  to  walk  a  few  blocks.  The  glare  of  light 
Broadway-wards  ended  whatever  thought  she  had  to  go 
into  the  station  and  wait. 

A  great  sign  of  many  thousands  of  incandescents, 
merged  together  in  a  crude  representation  of  a  bottle 
pouring  a  dazzling  yellow  stream  from  its  mouth,  at- 
tracted her  attention,  as  she  walked  over  Forty-second 
Street.  A  new  kind  of  champagne,  she  read,  and  for  a  time 
was  held  fascinated  by  its  changing  colors,  so  dark  and 
silent  for  a  moment,  then  bursting  into  all  its  blazing 
glory. 

"  I'll  get  some  of  that  to-night,  I  guess,"  she  confessed 
to  herself,  smiling  a  little  oddly. 

She  walked  down  the  iron  steps  at  the  Times  Square 
Subway  Station,  and  into  the  crowded  train,  feeling  quite 
in  the  spirit  for  an  adventure. 

The  same  negro  woman,  with  her  blue  dress  and  spec- 
tacles, admitted  her. 


316  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Just  come  in,"  said  she,  and  in  a  moment  Hagar  was 
inside  Greenfield's  room. 

He  was  sitting  by  a  large  rocker  drawn  up  in  front  of 
the  grate  fire,  and  when  she  came  in,  he  arose  and  took  her 
hands. 

"  Well,  Hagar,  I'm  pretty  glad  to  see  you,"  he  said. 

At  his  request,  she  took  off  her  hat  and  coat,  and 
laid  them  on  the  back  of  a  chair.  Hagar  noticed  that 
as  he  offered  to  assist  her,  his  manner  was  polite  and 
gentle. 

But  they  were  hardly  settled  before  the  fire,  when  he 
began  to  ply  her  with  questions. 

"  Now,  tell  me  what  you've  been  doing,  where  you've 
been,  Hagar?  "  he  said  in  one  breath. 

"  Oh,  there's  not  much  to  tell.  I  haven't  been  doing 
anything." 

"Well  —  what  about  that  fellow  —  Herrick?  Wasn't 
that  his  name  ?  " 

Greenfield  noticed  that  she  reddened  somewhat. 

"  Let's  change  the  subject,"  she  begged. 

"  As  you  say,"  he  laughed.  He  was  determined  not  to 
have  the  evening  start  off  badly.  "  Only,  I'm  quite  in- 
terested in  what  has  transpired,  Hagar.  You  can  under- 
stand — " 

"Oh,  tl^re  is  nothing  to  tell,  just  monotony,  bored  to 
death  —  that's  all,"  she  said  slowly. 

Sympathetically  he  exclaimed :  "  Poor  Hagar !  " 

She  threw  her  head  back  somewhat  defiantly. 

"  Oh,  I  don't  need  pity." 

"No?" 

"  No ! " 

"  Then,  you  need  —  what?     Love?  " 

Rather  shamedly  she  looked  at  him  from  under  her  lids. 
Her  moment  of  splendid  defiance  had  vanished. 

"  Oh,  maybe,"  she  whispered. 


Hagar  Revelly  317 

"  I  am  sure  of  it,  Hagar,"  he  exclaimed,  grasping  her 
hands. 

Then  he  dropped  his  parleying  manner. 
"  I  believe  you  know  why  you  came  back  to  me, 
Hagar,"  he  said  earnestly.  "  You  realized  that  I  am  fond 
of  you.  Yes,  you  thought  about  it  a  long  while,  and  sud- 
denly made  up  your  mind  that  I  love  you.  And  you 
wanted  to  be  loved;  so  there  was  nothing  else  for  you  to 
do  but  to  come  back  home.  Am  I  right?  ...  I 
wonder,"  he  went  on,  "  if  I've  been  a  fool  all  this  time,  to 
keep  on  thinking  and  thinking  of  you,  never  forgetting 
you  for  an  instant?  " 

He  took  out  his  watch  and  opened  its  lid.  "  You  see, 
here's  your  picture  —  remember  the  one  that  was  taken  of 
all  the  girls?  I  cut  yours  out  and  had  it  enlarged." 

He  looked  deeply  into  her  eyes.  "  Tell  me,  Hagar,"  he 
asked  softly,  "  was  I  a  fool  for  thinking  about  you  so 
much?  " 

Staring  steadily  ahead  of  her,  she  failed  to  answer. 
"  Was  I  a  fool  for  thinking  about  you  so  much?  "  he 
repeated.     "  Look  at  me,  dear." 

Her  head  was  bent  low,  and  one  hand  shaded  her  eyes 
as  she  gazed  into  the  fire,  while  the  other  lay  stretched 
along  the  arm  of  the  chair. 

Gaining  courage,  Greenfield  took  her  hand  in  his  own, 
and  remarked  at  its  slight  trembling. 

Hagar  did  not  draw  away,  but  only  said,  "  Yes,  I  am  a 
little  nervous  to-night." 

He  felt  the  clasp  of  her  fingers  grow  stronger. 
Then  she  suddenly  looked  up  into  his  face,  with  a  greatly 
changed  expression :     "  You're  pretty  good  to  me,  after 
all,  aren't  you  ?  " 

She  spoke  with  a  good  deal  of  the  old  childishness  and 
appreciation,  and  Greenfield  thought  he  had  never  heard 
her  speak  so  sweetly. 


318  Hagar  Revelly 

"  It's  because  I  love  you,  dearie.  I'd  do  anything  on 
earth  if  I  thought  you  loved  me." 

For  a  half  hour  they  talked  with  friendliness  and 
intimacy.  Greenfield  was  determined  to  be  gentle,  suave 
and  tactful;  if  he  spoke  too  hastily,  he  halted,  and  went 
back  into  more  control,  as  if  ihe  were  following  out  some 
prearranged  plan. 

And  Hagar  was  meek  and  quiet,  never  once  letting  him 
understand  that  she  was  thoroughly  conscious  of  the  situ- 
ation. 

While  they  were  talking,  the  woman  who  had  greeted 
Hagar  in  the  hallway,  knocked  at  the  door. 

"  Did  Mr.  Greenfield  want  any  wine  ?  " 

After  a  whispered  order,  he  came  back  and  sat  again  by 
her  side.  Hagar  thought  he  was  a  little  excited  now,  for 
he  soon  left  his  chair  and  went  over  to  poke  the  fire,  which 
was  already  burning  very  brightly. 

"  It  is  cosier  when  it's  warm,"  he  said. 

Hagar  watched  him  with  interest. 

Leaning  against  the  mantelpiece,  and  with  the  iron 
tongs  still  in  his  hands,  he  stood  quiet  for  a  moment,  re- 
garding her. 

"  So,  you  are  back  home  at  last,  little  girl,  aren't  you  ?  " 
he  commenced.  "  It's  pretty  hard  to  realize." 

With  a  playful  toss  of  her  head,  she  said,  rather  sweetly, 
"Is  it?" 

"  Yes,  you  bet !  "  he  said  slowly. 

He  came  over  and  stood  back  of  her  chair,  and  then, 
with  both  hands,  slowly  stroked  her  glowing  black  hair. 

'*  You  don't  know  how  I  have  missed  you  —  I  have  been 
terribly  lonely,  Hagar." 

There  was  a  thread  of  sadness  in  his  voice. 

"  I  am  sorry,  Mr.  Greenfield." 

"Why  don't  you  call  me  by  my  first  name?"  ex- 
claimed he. 


Hagar  Revelly  819 

"What  is  it?" 

"You  don't  know!" 

"  No,  honestly  not." 

"  I  thought  I  told  you  —  then,  or  rather  asked  you  to 
—  one  night,  some  place." 

"  I  don't  remember  it." 

"  Well,  you  call  me  Ben.  That's  shorter  than  my  whole 
name.  Good  heavens,  what's  the  matter?  " 

Hagar  had  become  suddenly  pale  and  her  face  showed  a 
sadness  that  made  him  start. 

"  What's  the  matter,  kiddie,"  he  asked,  frightened  lest 
some  hidden  meaning,  some  reminiscence  brought  by  his 
words,  had  come  out  of  the  past  to  blight  all  the  progress 
he  had  made. 

"  Your  —  Ben  —  made  me  think  of  something,  that's 
all.  It's  all  right  now." 

And  she  understood  for  the  first  time  how  it  had  come 
that  she  had  named  the  little  china  doll.  It  surprised  her 
when  she  realized  that  in  all  this  time,  she  had  not  once 
been  conscious  in  the  similarity  of  names. 

But  to  all  his  begging,  she  only  gave  the  same  answer: 

"  Oh,  it's  all  right.  It's  nothing,"  even  calling  him 
"  Ben,"  for  the  first  time,  just  to  pacify  him. 

Greenfield  commented  upon  her  vague  explanation. 
"  You  see,  you  don't  tell  me  anything,"  he  said,  as  he  drew 
a  little  away  from  the  fire. 

The  light  from  the  burning  embers  cast  a  soft  crimson 
tint  on  his  face,  subduing  the  usual  sallowness  of  his  thick 
skin.  In  this  light  Hagar  thought  him  not  altogether  un- 
handsome. 

"  Yes,"  he  went  on,  "  you  don't  tell  me  anything, 
Hagar.  Everything  is  so  mysterious.  When  I  asked  you 
about  this  fellow  Herrick,  you  only  say,  *  Oh,  he  left  the 
city.'  If  I  ask  you  about  your  folks,  or  your  job,  or  what 
you  have  done  for  over  a  year,  it  is  always  the  same 


380  Hagar  Revelly 

answer.  Why,  Hagar,  don't  you  realize  that  you  need 
someone  to  tell  the  truth  to.  You  can  lie  to  most  anyone 
you  meet,  but  the  truth  — 

"  It  wouldn't  do  any  good,"  she  ventured.  "  If  I  told 
you  the  straight  of  it,  it  would  be  so  strange  you'd  be  sure 
I  was  lying.  At  least,  now,  you  don't  know  whether  to 
think  I  am  lying  or  not." 

Seeing  it  was  best  to  let  her  have  her  way,  he  left 
the  subject  of  their  conversation  to  tell  how  hard  he  had 
tried  to  find  her. 

At  that  moment  there  was  another  knock  on  the  door 
that  led  into  the  hall. 

It  was  done  in  a  gentle  manner,  being  nearly  inaudible, 
but  it  frightened  Hagar  immeasurably. 

"  You  mustn't  be  scared,"  Greenfield  said,  as  he  noticed 
how  startled  she  was.  "  It's  only  the  maid." 

Then  he  opened  the  door  and  the  woman  brought  into 
the  room  on  a  black  enamelled  tray,  a  large  bottle  of 
champagne.  When  she  went  out  they  both  laughed  at  the 
way  Hagar  had  been  scared.  It  served  to  make  each 
understand  how  tense  was  the  situation  in  the  mind  of 
the  other.  But  at  the  same  time,  Hagar  was  conscious 
enough  of  her  position,  to  look  at  his  back,  as  he  stood 
at  the  door,  and  wonder  when  he  would  begin  kissing  her. 

As  soon  as  the  maid  left,  Greenfield  walked  across  the 
room  to  the  little  table  on  which  was  placed  the 
champagne. 

Quite  nonchalantly,  he  said,  as  he  broke  off  the  wire  over 
the  cork :  "  We  must  take  some  of  this  wine.  We  are  both 
pretty  tired  and  stupid  to-night." 

"  Am  I  stupid,  Ben,"  she  asked  childishly. 

"  I  didn't  mean  that,  I  meant  that  7  was,"  he  apolo- 
gized. 

Now  he  took  the  neck  of  one  of  the  bottles  and  wrapped 
a  large  napkin  about  it  many  times.  Then  he  twisted 


Hagar  Revelly  821 

and  turned  it  until  the  cork  came  out  with  only  the 
faintest  whisper  of  an  explosion.  When  he  poured  the 
sparkling  amber  fluid  into  the  two  broad-bellied  glasses, 
he  showed  that  he  felt  rather  proud  of  himself. 

"  You've  got  to  open  a  good  many  bottles  to  do  it  that 
way,"  he  remarked. 

Hagar  asked  him  why. 

"  Because  there  is  so  much  gas  in  the  bottles  it  would 
pop  all  over  everything.  You  must  do  it  slowly." 

Coming  over  to  where  she  sat,  he  placed  a  glass  care- 
fully on  the  broad  arm  of  the  chair.  He  did  it  with  great 
precision  and  care. 

"  There,"  he  said,  "  you'll  like  it.  I  don't  believe  it  is 
too  dry." 

"  What  kind  of  wine  is  it?  " 

"  Why,  champagne,  child,  Pommery." 

Then  he  raised  the  glass  to  his  lips.  "  Here's  —  to  our 
future  happiness,  Hagar,"  he  said,  looking  directly  into 
her  eyes.  "  Go  ahead  and  taste  it." 

"  I  have  never  drank  champagne  before,"  came  from  her 
doubtfully.  "  Would  it  make  me  drunk?  I've  always 
wanted  to  taste  it." 

He  laughed.  "  Why,  of  course  it  won't  make  you 
drunk,  go  ahead  and  drink  it." 

A  little  longer  she  hesitated. 

"  Really,  Hagar,  you'll  like  it.  A  little  champagne  is 
the  only  drink  for  white  people.  Go  ahead  and  drink  it." 

At  last  she  obeyed  him. 

"  Isn't  it  good  ? "  he  asked,  after  she  had  taken  a 
swallow. 

"  It's  —  so  funny.  All  the  little  bubbles  come  up  and 
sting  you  in  the  face." 

"  See !     I  knew  you'd  like  it." 

She  took  the  glass  again  in  her  hand  and  for  a  long 
time  looked  down  into  it,  while  she  fingered  the  thin  stem 


322  Hagar  Revelly 

in  a  gentle  caress.  Then  she  laughed  outright  and 
placed  the  glass  to  her  lips.  When  she  had  taken  it  away, 
even  the  long  stem  was  empty. 

For  a  time  they  sat  looking  into  the  fire.  Over  Hagar 
there  seemed  to  spread  a  gentle  soothing  feeling  that 
veiled  her  body  in  peace,  and  made  her  more  happy  than 
she  had  been  in  months.  Looking  ahead  of  her,  she  caught 
her  reflection  in  the  mirror;  and  thought  she  had  never 
looked  so  well  since  the  days  when  she  had  been  happy  with 
Herrick. 

Even  Greenfield  seemed  handsome  somehow,  and  as  she 
looked  out  of  the  corner  of  her  eye  to  catch  his  eyes  study- 
ing her,  she  felt  that  she  would  have  suffered  his  arm  to 
be  about  her,  had  he  enough  sense  to  attempt  it  at  that 
moment.  He  seemed  so  foolish,  sitting  there  so  quietly, 
when  they  were  all  alone. 

"  You  know  you  have  changed  a  good  deal  in  the  last 
year,  Hagar,"  said  Greenfield  at  that  moment. 

"Havel?" 

"  Yes.  You  don't  think  those  high-minded  things  about 
life  the  way  you  used  to.  Now,  do  you  ?  " 

"  Oh,  perhaps  not.  A  girl  like  me  hasn't  got  so  much 
chance  in  this  world." 

"  I  told  you  that  a  year  ago." 

"  I  am  beginning  to  believe  it  now." 

"  Hagar,  you  mean  it?  "  he  cried,  jumping  up. 

She  was  startled  by  this  sudden  impulse.  "  Why,  what's 
the  matter?  " 

"  What  you  just  said  —  about  beginning  to  understand 
the  way  things  really  are.  Do  you  think  that  way  now  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  believe  I  do."  Her  answer  was  filled  with  weari- 
ness. 

"  Let's  have  another  drink,"  he  suggested. 

Going  over  to  the  table,  he  again  filled  the  shallow 
glasses.  "  Drink,  Hagar,"  he  said. 


Hagar  Revelly  323 

She  took  the  glass  from  his  hand.  "  Anyway,  it  is  not 
bad  tasting  stuff,"  she  laughed.  And  after  a  moment, 
like  one  who  hesitates  upon  the  brink  of  a  cold  pool,  she 
gulped  down  the  contents  of  the  second  glass,  with  a  ges- 
ture that  was  full  of  abandon  and  daring. 

Greenfield  came  over  and  sat  on  the  arm  of  her  chair. 

"  You're  a  great,  wonderful  girl,"  he  exclaimed.  "  I 
swear  I  have  been  in  love  with  you  ever  since  the  first 
moment  I  saw  you." 

Hagar's  response  was  to  look  up  into  his  face.  His 
lips  were  near  to  hers,  and  in  them  was  such  an  expression 
of  strong  desire,  she  could  hardly  resist  lessening  the  dis- 
tance that  separated  them. 

Somehow,  she  knew  that  in  another  moment  he  would 
kiss  her.  But  it  seemed  a  lot  of  fun  to  hold  off  like  this 
and  tease  him.  And  so  she  drew  away  instead,  just  to  see 
the  flash  of  self-reproach  come  into  his  eyes,  because  he 
had  not  grasped  that  moment. 

They  played  for  nearly  an  hour  in  this  manner.  Green- 
field sat  on  the  arm  of  her  chair,  while  Hagar  gazed  con- 
tentedly into  the  fire. 

Then  they  had  another  drink,  and  to  Hagar  the  room 
seemed  to  be  suddenly  filled  with  a  thousand  noises,  while 
her  head  whirled  around  and  her  heart  matched  up  with 
it  in  riotous  exultation. 

So  came  the  moment  when  restraint  was  thrown  off 
entirely.  They  were  launched  on  a  sea  of  tumult  and 
rapture.  He  had  her  in  his  arms,  kissing  her  head,  her 
cheeks,  her  lips,  in  a  frenzy  of  passion. 

It  was  no  longer  a  chimera  for  Greenfield.  The  beau- 
tiful, soft  arms  were  really  around  his  neck,  hanging  limp ; 
her  body  was  throbbing  close  to  his  own,  while  Hagar,  in 
her  fast  ebbing  consciousness,  kept  repeating  to  herself, 
over  and  over :  "  How  wonderful  this  is.  ...  What 
a  fool  I  have  been," 


Hagar  Revelly 

For  only  a  moment  did  Greenfield  watch  the  drooping 
lashes,  the  quivering  lips,  the  tremulous  pulsation  of  her 
bosom.  Then  he  lifted  her  into  his  arms,  and  despite  a 
moment  of  slight  resistance.  .  0  .  carried  her  into 
the  next  room. 


CHAPTER  XXV 

HAGAR  and  Greenfield  were  three  months  together  before 
the  girl  stopped  to  ask  of  herself  whether  her  happiness 
was  dearly  bought,  or  had  come  by  some  benefactor's  hand 
in  the  time  of  need. 

Everything  appeared  to  have  come  so  gradually  and  to 
run  so  smoothly,  she  could  hardly  believe  that  it  had  not 
always  been  this  way;  and  she  never  thought  of  its  real 
value  to  her  in  the  way  of  a  fulfilment  of  her  wants  and 
desires.  It  actually  seemed  for  a  time  that  this  affair 
with  Greenfield  was  legitimate,  and  nothing  unusual.  It 
was  only  as  the  months  went  on  that  she  found  herself 
conscious  of  the  same  former  longings  and  restlessness. 

During  the  first  few  weeks  she  was  slightly  worried  by 
the  manner  in  which  Greenfield  would  stop  and  study  her. 
She  was  nearly  tempted  once  to  tell  him  the  entire  story 
about  Herrick.  But  this  action  on  his  part,  which  seemed 
to  her  like  suspicion,  soon  passed  off,  and  she  felt  quite 
happy  that  she  had  been  saved  the  confession. 

Often  after  that  she  would  walk  up  and  down  in  the 
suite  of  rooms  that  Greenfield  had  fitted  up,  asking  herself 
why  she  should  be  so  foolish  as  to  not  get  all  the  happiness 
that  was  to  be  obtained. 

Curious  indeed,  was  Hagar's  state  of  constant  unsatis- 
fied longing.  She  did  not  stop  to  ask  of  herself  the 
question:  "Will  I  be  happy?"  but  rather,  "Shall  I  get 
that  which  makes  others  happy?  " 

Perhaps,  had  she  placed  a  greater  value  on  her  body, 
like  other  women  of  mutability,  she  would  have  had  a  dif- 
ferent viewpoint;  would  have  been  more  practical  in  her 

325 


326  Hagar  Revelly 

treatment  of  Greenfield.  But  now  she  merely  used  herself 
as  a  means  to  an  end,  with  the  end,  an  invisible,  mystical 
thing  in  the  perspective.  Indeed,  she  was  totally  unaware 
of  what  process  of  reasoning  she  had  used  to  gain  a  deci- 
sion, or  of  the  trend  her  resolutions  had  taken;  she  was 
really  as  unaware  of  her  own  resolutions  as  she  was  un- 
aware of  the  intentions  of  her  seducer  that  night  on  the 
star-lit  bank  of  the  Hudson.  She  tried  to  find  no  legiti- 
mate name  for  what  might  eventually  happen,  only  going 
on  blindly.  And  all  the  builded  hierarchies  of  virtue 
tumbled  unrecognized  to  her  trodded  soil. 

Better  living  had  its  effect  upon  her.  Since  Greenfield 
always  wanted  her  to  look  well,  and  trusted  her  so  much 
that  she  was  allowed  accounts  in  two  of  the  big  stores,  it 
was  not  long  before  a  dormant  talent  for  cleverly  decora- 
ting herself  became  apparent.  She  spent  much  time  in 
buying  and  looking  at  expensive  garments  worn  by  people 
whom  she  previously  could  only  envy  from  her  position 
back  of  the  counter.  And  she  spent  a  good  deal  of 
money.  Appreciating  Greenfield's  confidence  in  her,  it 
was  only  the  knowledge  of  his  implicit  trust  that  kept  her 
from  taking  greater  advantage  of  him. 

Another  thing  that  troubled  her,  and  probably  kept  her 
from  being  really  extravagant,  was  a  feeling  she  experi- 
enced whenever  she  bought  a  piece  of  goods,  or  a  passemen- 
terie, that  cost  more  than  the  usual  price.  A  momentary 
spasm  of  guilt  always  shot  through  her  at  these  times. 

Ajb  the  beginning  of  her  companionship  with  Greenfield, 
she  had  even  tried  to  overcome  this  feeling  of  faithlessness, 
by  telling  herself  that  she  was  really  in  love  with  him,  but 
that  her  strange  nature  made  it  difficult  for  her  to  be  de- 
monstrative. Then,  after  many  futile  attempts,  she  gave 
up  the  task,  only  doing  what  she  saw  was  necessary  to 
keep  him  from  growing  too  suspicious. 

But  she  liked  the  life,  and  found  much  happiness  in  look- 


Hagar  Revelly  327 

ing  pretty,  not  exactly  because  Greenfield  was  made 
happy,  but  because  it  opened  up  to  her  new  vistas  —  fields 
for  more  ambitious  endeavor.  She  realized  now  that  all 
this  new  world  of  fine  clothes  and  manners  could  be  ob- 
tained by  simply  being  clever. 

Greenfield  was  really  conscious  of  the  change  that  had 
come  over  Hagar  in  the  few  months,  but  his  own  conceit 
gave  him  an  entirely  new  name  for  it.  When  she  walked 
out  to  a  taxicab,  and  showed  no  longer  the  signs  of  her 
former  humbleness  and  gratitude,  but  instead  a  look  of 
defiance  and  indifference  to  every  one  about  her,  he  was 
much  pleased.  Who  else  but  he  had  brought  out  this 
queenly  instinct  in  her?  Mistaking  her  proud  spirit  and 
haughtiness  for  a  sign  of  devotion  to  himself,  he  felt  that 
he,  too,  was  elevated  along  with  her. 

Hagar  was  very  gay  during  those  days.  Instilled  with 
confidence  in  her  physical  self,  gained  by  a  transmission 
of  the  words  of  regard  given  her  by  others,  she  displayed 
an  innate  talent  for  pleasure  that  surprised  her  quite  as 
much  as  it  did  Greenfield.  She  grew  to  love  the  white 
lights  and  the  marvellous  entrances  of  the  great  hotels, 
spending  hours  in  front  of  the  mirror  rehearsing  her 
entrance  into  them. 

She  never  paused  to  consider  the  possible  price  she  was 
paying.  Aside  from  her  duty  to  Greenfield,  the  shirking 
of  which  was  the  only  thing  that  troubled  her,  she  re- 
mained free  of  care ;  and  though,  at  times,  she  would  ask 
herself  if  she  ought  not  to  consider  him  more,  as  a  pay- 
ment of  his  goodness  to  her,  she  would  always  feel  easy 
of  mind  when  she  reasoned  that  the  power  of  affection  was 
something  beyond  her  control. 

One  afternoon  at  the  end  of  the  winter,  she  suddenly 
met  a  girl  whom  she  had  known  at  Rheinchild's.  Hagar 
tried  to  pass  her  without  any  sign  of  recognition,  but 
before  she  could  accomplish  it,  their  eyes  had  met. 


328  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Why,  dearie,"  exclaimed  the  girl,  "  I  am  so  glad  to 
see  you." 

The  girl  eyed  her,  and  then,  after  a  moment,  in  which 
she  had  entirely  surveyed  Hagar,  she  said  in  a  manner  full 
of  awe :  "  Why  —  you  —  where'd  you  get  all  the  rags  ?  " 

Smiling  in  a  superior  manner,  Hagar  replied :  "  Why, 
you  know  I'm  married  —  been  married  for  nearly  six 
months." 

"  I  didn't  know  that.  Well,  you're  pretty  lucky,  all 
right."  She  was  unable  to  keep  her  eyes  off  the  broad- 
cloth and  furs. 

They  had  a  few  more  words,  and  when  the  girl  left, 
Hagar  stood  for  a  moment  rigid  and  silent.  This  was  the 
first  time  she  had  come  into  a  fragment  of  her  old  life,  and 
the  remembrance  burst  in  upon  her  vindictively. 

"  Damn  it !  I  had  to  lie,"  she  exclaimed  quite  aloud. 
"  What  right  had  she  to  ask  me,  anyway  ?  " 

All  the  way  back  to  the  hotel,  the  strangeness  of  having 
to  utter  the  untruthful  words  annoyed  her. 

Two  days  later,  just  as  she  was  coming  out  of  Tiffany's, 
she  met  Thatah.  The  tall,  thin  figure  wore  black  clothes, 
and  a  hat  trimmed  in  crepe.  More  like  an  apparition 
Thatah  seemed  at  that  moment,  and  Hagar  was  too 
startled  to  ward  off  any  of  the  many  thoughts  crowding 
her  brain. 

She  grasped  Thatah's  arm.  "  Thatah,  what's  the 
matter?  I  haven't  seen  you  for  months.  You  are  not  in 
mourning ! " 

Thatah  was  quiet  and  sad.  "  Yes,  sister,  I'm  in  mounv-i 
ing,"  she  replied. 

Realizing  that  some  calamity  had  befallen  Thatah,  and 
from  a  desire  to  appear  sympathetic  and  interested,  Hagar 
cried :  "  For  heaven's  sake,  Thatah,  tell  me  what  has 
happened?  I  haven't  seen  you  for  such  a  long  time." 

"  I  tried  very  hard  to  get  you,  Hagar,"  Thatah  said, 


Hagar  Revelly  339 

quietly.     "  I  inquired  at  the  boarding  house  where  you 
lived,  but  they  seemed  to  know  nothing  about  you.'5 

Then  Hagar  pointed  to  the  crepe.     "  Is  it  father?  "  she 


Thatah  answered  very  softly :  "  Yes,  Hagar,  he  died 
four  months  ago." 

"  He  died  four  months  ago !  "  Hagar  repeated  mechan- 
ically, at  the  same  time  wondering  why  she  could  not  think 
of  some  more  intelligent  question  or  sentence  which  would 
better  show  her  grief. 

"  Yes.  He  had  what  the  doctors  called  nephritis,  with 
complications." 

"  Oh,  how  awful  —  how  awful,"  moaned  Hagar. 

"  Yes,  it  was  awful.     Thank  God,  it  is  all  passed  now." 

Thatah  spoke  slowly,  with  a  little  break  in  her  voice. 
"  He  suffered  so  terribly  at  the  last." 

"  Did  he  —  ask  about  me?  "  Hagar  faltered. 

"  Yes.     He  was  fond  of  you  always." 

"  He  was  fond  of  me,  sister  ?  I  didn't  know  that," 
Hagar  murmured. 

After  a  moment  of  silence,  Thatah  asked  where  Hagar 
was  living. 

"  I'm  living  at  the  Malvern  Hotel.  I'm  —  married 
now,  you  know."  There  was  a  return  in  Hagar's  words  of 
her  usual  spirit. 

And  now  Thatah  was  startled.  "  You're  married, 
Hagar?" 

"  Yes." 

"  Hagar,  to  whom  ?  " 

"  Well,  I  think  you  remember  him  —  Mr.  Greenfield. 
I'm  married  to  him." 

"  You  married  him!  "  exclaimed  Thatah. 

Hagar  looked  up. 

"  Of  course.  He  was  the  only  one  that  was  really 
square  with  me." 


330  Hagar  Revelly 

Thatah  was  so  bewildered,  so  perplexed,  that  the  words 
had  to  fight  their  way  to  her  lips.  "  Well,  Hagar,  it  is  all 
very  strange  —  you  married  to  Greenfield,"  she  said 
finally. 

They  had  stood  at  the  side  of  the  curbing  for  another 
few  minutes,  when  a  feeling  of  discomfort  builded  itself  in 
Hagar  to  such  an  extent  that  she  could  no  longer  stand 
quietly  and  talk  to  Thatah.  Somehow,  she  felt  a  sudden 
return  to  her  old  days  of  misery,  and  as  she  looked  up  and 
saw  how  sad  Thatah  appeared,  how  disheartened  in  spirit 
and  shabby  in  dress  she  was,  as  compared  with  herself, 
she  felt  that  she  could  no  longer  tolerate  the  painful  con- 
trast. 

"  Well,  I  must  go  now,  Thatah,"  she  said,  restlessly. 
"  I'm  living  at  the  Malvern  on  Forty-fifth  Street."  Her 
nervousness  was  overcoming  her.  "  I  wish  you  would  drop 
in  some  time. 

"  You  don't  know  how  sorry  I  am  about  father,"  she 
went  on,  with  her  eyes  cast  down,  ashamed  of  her  absolute 
lack  of  response  to  Thatah's  tears.  "  I  wish  I  could  do 
something."  Extending  her  hand,  she  stammered :  "  Well, 
good-bye,  Thatah.  You  do  know  how  I  feel  about  — 
about  father's  death  —  don't  you  ?  " 

Thatah  remained  silent,  and  she  added :  "  I'd  really 
like  to  have  you  look  me  up,  sometime." 

She  was  well  out  of  sight,  before  Thatah,  who  had  been 
enveloped  in  a  veil  of  reverie  and  wonderment,  brought  on 
by  Hagar's  strange  action,  turned  and  walked  over  to  the 
Thirty-third  Street  Subway.  And  along  the  whole  walk, 
she  kept  repeating  to  herself :  "  She  never  once  asked 
about  Edric."  And  as  she  thought  on,  and  remembered 
the  queer  shifting  of  Hagar's  eyes,  and  her  eagerness  to 
get  away,  she  said,  nearly  aloud,  "  Yes,  Hagar  has  surely 
changed." 

Until  she  reached  home,  the  picture  of  Hagar's  radiant 


Hagar  Revelly  331 

health,  her  wonderful  clothes  and  her  delicate,  refined  man- 
ner, so  utterly  new,  was  vividly  present.  As  she  thought 
about  it,  she  somehow  felt  old  and  shabby,  in  comparison. 

The  thoughts  that  pursued  Hagar  as  she  walked  hur- 
riedly up  Fifth  Avenue  were  of  an  entirely  different 
nature. 

A  dozen  times  before  she  reached  the  hotel,  the  feeling 
of  guilt  so  encompassed  her  that  once  or  twice,  she  nearly 
stumbled.  She  kept  muttering,  "  Good  God  —  good 
God,"  and  yet  was  unable  to  explain  why  she  felt  so  cul- 
pable. The  only  thing  that  lightened  her  burden  of  self- 
ishness, was  the  companionable  rustle  of  her  silk  petticoat. 
It  made  her  think  of  how  much  more  fortunate,  or  better, 
more  wise,  she  was  than  her  sister. 

But  for  days  after  this,  the  apparition  of  Thatah's  thin 
figure  and  pale  face  was  a  burden  on  Hagar's  soul. 

And,  somehow,  it  was  this  episode  with  Thatah  that 
brought  a  fuller  understanding,  and  a  different  meaning, 
to  her  disregard  'of  Greenfield.  Things  seemed  suddenly 
to  have  become  more  serious,  and  time  more  valuable. 

One  night,  when  Greenfield  and  she  were  going  to  the 
opera,  she  found  it  difficult  to  conceal  any  longer  the  fact 
that  she  was  getting  tired  and  wearied  of  having  to  ap- 
pear responsive  to  his  caresses. 

When  he  came  into  the  room,  and  said :  "  The  opera, 
kiddie  —  everyone  will  look  at  you,"  she  had  a  struggle 
to  hide  from  him  the  shudder  that  swept  through  her. 
At  that  moment  she  wished  she  could  have  bravely 
told  him  exactly  how  she  felt.  Then  she  spied  a  blue 
silk  evening  dress  hanging  in  the  closet;  it  brought  to 
her  the  old  instinct  of  reasoning.  With  the  same  cold 
weariness,  she  answered :  "  Yes,  Ben."  How  she  wished 
she  might  have  been  free  to  walk  up  to  him  and  say: 
"  Ben,  I'm  sick  of  fooling  you.  I  can't  hold  out  any 
longer.  Now,  do  what  you  please." 


332  ,    Hagar  Revelly 

They  were  to  play  the  "  Rheingold,"  an  opera  with 
which  Greenfield  had  become  familiar,  and  as  he  left  her, 
he  hummed  over  boyishly,  the  music  of  the  first  scene, 
where  the  three  water  nymphs  frolic  in  the  deep  waters 
of  the  Rhine.  It  made  him  appear  in  her  eyes  even  more 
silly  than  before,  and  Hagar  had  to  walk  over  to  the 
window  in  an  effort  to  get  him  from  her  mind. 

However,  she  made  her  toilet  that  evening  with  an 
infinite  care,  reasoning  there  would  be  others  who  might 
watch  her.  She  brought  her  black  hair  low  down  on 
her  forehead,  in  a  very  new  method;  she  put  a  little 
extra  rouge  on  her  cheeks,  and  a  little  bit  more  of  extra 
coloring  on  to  her  lips,  and  when  she  put  on  her  soft 
grey  gown,  with  its  quivering  silvery  rows  of  beads  at  the 
bodice,  her  happiness  seemed  to  have  come  back  again, 
with  the  music  brought  on  by  their  faint  jingle. 

Greenfield  came  in  long  before  she  had  finished  dressing. 
Walking  up  and  down  the  room,  he  looked  at  her  with 
proud  eyes,  admiring  the  fingers,  so  small,  so  soft  and 
well  formed.  There  was  even  a  feeling  of  envy  in  his 
heart  as  he  watched  them  put  a  strand  of  hair  in  place, 
or  fold  themselves  together. 

When  she  was  nearly  dressed,  she  asked  him  to  button 
her  dress  in  the  back,  and  after  he  had  finished,  he  was 
so  much  enraptured  he  made  an  effort  to  kiss  her. 
"  Whee,  you  are  beautiful  to-night,  Hagar,"  he  exclaimed, 
exultantly. 

But  she  drew  away  from  him,  and  said :  "  Don't. 
You  will  spoil  my  hair.  It  took  me  an  hour  to  fix  it." 

They  reached  the  Opera  House  just  as  an  announce- 
ment was  being  made  that  Romeo  and  Juliet  would  be 
played,  instead  of  the  opening  drama  of  the  Nibelung's 
Ring.  One  of  the  singers  had  a  severe  cold. 

In  a  way,  the  announcement  pleased  Hagar  a  good 
deal,  as  she  hated  Wagnerian  music  intensely.  Besides, 


Hagar  Revelly  333 

it  always  made  her  think  of  her  father,  sitting  at  the 
piano,  with  his  shoulders  humped  and  his  head  bowed. 

Her  mood  changed  completely  as  the  performance  went 
on.  Enveloped  by  hazy  clouds  of  romantic  thoughts,  she 
sat  through  the  sad  drama,  likening  herself  and  her  lot 
to  every  situation  in  the  play.  When  Romeo  entered 
Capulete's  palace,  disguised  as  the  pilgrim,  she  fell  in 
love  with  him,  quite  as  soon  as  did  Juliet.  She,  too, 
became  his  lover,  his  champion,  and  she  struggled  through 
the  duel  with  Mercutio,  and  then  with  Tybalt,  with  her 
heart  beating  in  unison  with  each  fiery  challenge  of  their 
swords.  It  was  she  who  awakened  and  stabbed  herself  to 
death  with  a  dagger,  when  the  fatal  poison  was  taken  in 
the  fifth  act:  it  was  her  heart  that  bled  for  the  unfor- 
tunate lover. 

Then,  everything  changed  when  the  performance  was 
over,  and  the  curtain  descended,  and  she  saw  again  the 
sallow  face  and  thick  figure  of  the  man  at  her  side. 

As  they  went  down  the  broad  marble  stairs,  after  the 
performance,  Greenfield  noticed  her  agitation  and  ex- 
plained to  her  that  he  too  felt  sad. 

"  It  is  full  of  tragedy,"  he  said.  "  It  makes  a  person 
think,  doesn't  it?" 

"  Yes,  I  should  say  it  does." 

"  I  was  in  the  store  the  other  day,  and  heard  two  mu- 
sicians with  long  hair  talking  about  it.  What  do  you 
think  one  of  them  said?  " 

"  I  can't  imagine." 

"  Well,  one  of  them,  he  really  must  have  amounted  to 
something,  said  that  it  could  be  done  in  pantomime,  or 
without  the  acting  altogether.  He  said  it  spoilt  the 
message,  or  something,  and  that  to  those  who  under- 
stood, the  music  speaks  plainer  than  all  the  singing.  I 
think  he  was  crazy,  don't  you?  " 

"  Well,  I  should  say,"  answered  Hagar. 


Hagar  Revelly 

Passing  out  into  the  street,  Hagar  accidentally  brushed 
shoulders  with  a  young  blonde-haired  person  in  a  dress 
suit.  The  man's  black  clothes  clung  to  his  muscles,  and 
moved  like  the  skin  of  some  animal  with  each  step  that 
he  took.  He  was  so  clean  looking,  and  his  blue  eyes  were 
so  fresh  and  sparkling,  she  felt  the  impulse  gather  in  her 
to  throw  her  arms  around  him.  It  had  been  long  since 
she  had  felt  a  quiver  brought  on  by  anybody  >  that  had  fas- 
cinated her. 

For  a  moment,  she  and  Greenfield  were  jostled  by  the 
crowd,  and  then  she  lost  sight  of  the  dark  clothed  figure 
altogether.  With  her  attention  no  longer  diverted,  she 
looked  up  at  Greenfield,  only  to  see  that  beside  the  figure 
of  the  blonde  young  man,  he  appeared  more  sallow  and 
weary  than  ever. 

"Are  you  tired?"  she  asked.  Her  eyes  were  still 
searching  through  the  crowd. 

"  Oh,  pretty  tired,  I  guess,"  he  answered.  "  We  had 
a  hard  day  at  the  store.  Was  over  to  Newark.  Bought 
out  a  dandy  bankrupt  lot  —  but  we  had  to  invoice  the 
whole  stock." 

Hagar  had  to  turn  away  to  hide  her  feelings,  and! 
when  she  looked  up  again,  it  was  to  see  just  ahead  of 
them,  the  carefully  groomed  man  dart  through  the  crowd 
and  lift  into  an  automobile  a  woman  in  a  pale  blue  gown. 

For  a  moment,  Hagar  stood  watching  the  woman,  think- 
ing how  she  would  have  liked  to  be  in  the  man's  arms. 
Then  she  looked  up  at  Greenfield  again.  His  tie,  at  that 
moment,  had  unfortunately  crept  up  on  his  collar. 

"Yes,  let's  go  home,  Ben.     I  feel  pretty  tired,  too." 

There  was  a  little  quavering  catch  in  her  voice,  a  faint, 
wistful  suggestion  of  her  proud  spirit  bowing  its  head. 

That  evening  at  the  opera,  only  added  to  the  restlessness 
brought  on  by  Thatah.  During  the  following  days, 
Greenfield  noticed  her  unhappy  mood  many  times  —  it 


'Ha gar  Revelly  885 

was  made  more  apparent  to  him  by  her  fits  of  absent- 
mindedness,  her  apparent  lack  of  regard  for  him,  even 
when  he  was  talking  to  her. 

Scenting  now,  some  possible  spell  of  chastisement  or  re- 
proach on  her  part,  he  never  left  her  alone  for  more 
than  a  few  hours  at  a  time,  but  instead,  put  himself  out 
to  be  with  her,  even  when  his  business  demanded  his  at- 
tention. Organizing  frequent  shopping  expeditions,  he 
would  make  her  buy  things  he  knew  would  please  her,  even 
though  she  would  not  ask  for  them;  he  took  her  to  the 
gayer  places  again,  Churchill's,  Maxim's,  a  little  French 
restaurant  in  University  Place,  where  he  thought  th& 
lack  of  conventional  life  would  divert  her. 

And  so  it  was  not  long  before  she  was  gay  and  buoyant 
again,  and  he  was  proud  and  pleased  over  his  ability  to 
discern  her  feelings  and  control  them. 

Two  or  three  months  passed  before  Hagar  really  gave 
him  an  understanding  of  her  feelings.  And  then,  it  was 
only  to  realize  and  become  rather  disappointed  over  the 
fact  that  she  had  such  influence  over  him  that  he  was 
powerless  in  her  hands,  and  could  not  fight  back.  At  the 
very  height  of  this  quarrel,  Greenfield  became  so  excited, 
he  held  his  fist  above  her  as  if  to  strike  her.  And  then  he 
threw  his  hands  over  his  eyes,  crying :  "  Oh,  my  God,  I 
can't  —  I  can't." 

But  Hagar  had  become  actually  tired  of  trying 
to  fool  him.  And  to  justify  herself  in  her  own  eyes,  or 
perhaps  more  to  have  places  of  refuge  for  her  guilt,  she 
began  to  hunt  in  him  for  possible  fault.  When  he  wore 
a  hard,  stiff  bosom  to  his  shirt,  she  looked  around  and 
compared  him  with  the  men  that  wore  soft,  finely  plaited 
bosoms;  she  noticed  that  he  wore  high  shoes  in  the  even- 
ing; that  his  cuffs  were  not  attached  to  his  shirt,  as  she 
saw  in  the  advertisements. 

What  made  her  most  unhappy  was  that  she  was  begin- 


336  Hagar  Revelly 

ning  to  have  a  certain  sort  of  sympathy  for  him.  His 
fits  of  sadness,  into  which  his  love  for  her  plunged  him, 
made  her  feel  uncomfortable  and  a  little  disgusted  with 
him,  but  she  could  not  deny  that  she  felt  sorry  and  wished 
that  she  might  for  the  moment  be  able  to  please  him,  and 
stop  his  worry,  or  better  —  that  he  cared  less  for  her. 

One  morning  at  breakfast  time,  Greenfield  spoke  what 
had  been  on  his  mind  for  several  weeks. 

"  I  wish,  Hagar,"  he  said,  "  that  you  wouldn't  flirt 
with  people  the  way  you  do."  He  remarked  in  as  casual 
a  manner  as  possible  upon  her  actions  the  night  before, 
with  a  fellow  named  Kettle.  All  evening  she  had  sat  fac- 
ing this  friend  of  his,  and  whenever  Greenfield  happened  to 
look  up,  it  was  to  see  her  eyes  deep  in  an  encounter  with 
the  guest. 

At  first  Greenfield's  remark  made  Hagar  angry.  Then 
she  said  playfully:  "You're  not  jealous,  are  you, 
dearie  ?  " 

"  I  don't  like  it,"  Greenfield  answered. 

This  was  in  reality  the  first  wedge  driven  against  their 
continued  companionship.  In  the  next  few  days,  there 
followed  many  little  incidents,  unspoken  words,  strange 
sidelong  glances,  that  stored  up  in  their  cumulative  efforts 
the  beginning  of  the  denouement. 

At  the  table,  while  Greenfield  was  lost  in  some  selfish 
depiction  of  his  own  cleverness,  she  would  watch  and 
study  him;  while  he  glowed  with  self-satisfaction  she 
would  look  at  his  mouth  and  eyes,  and  find  in  them  great 
points  of  displeasure. 

She  began  to  be  less  cautious  in  keeping  from  him  the 
idea  that  she  was  very  tired  of  his  kisses,  his  love-hungry 
eyes,  the  monotonous  trips  to  the  restaurants  and  hotels. 

To  herself,  she  commenced  to  argue  now :  "  He  thinks 
he  owns  me.  Well,  I'll  show  him." 

A  longing  for  excitement  still  breathed  through  her 


Hagar  Revelly  837 

being,  but  somehow  what  she  was  getting  failed  to  sat- 
isfy her  entirely.  When  she  stopped  to  look  at  herself 
in  the  mirror,  she  would  say :  "  I'm  pretty  young  yet 
—  what's  the  matter  with  me  ?  " 

She  indulged  frequently  now  in  a  sort  of  personal  sur- 
vey of  herself.  In  her  bath,  she  would  lie  thinking; 
while  she  dressed,  she  would  question  herself;  and  the 
only  solace  she  would  find,  would  be  in  the  sheen  of  her 
silk  dressing  gown,  or  in  the  delicately  colored  underwear 
that  she  could  not  have  had  other  than  through  Green- 
field's aid. 

Greenfield  came  home  with  a  bad  cold  in  his  head  about 
this  time.  Hagar  was  sitting  in  the  bedroom  reading,  a 
novel,  when  his  violent  paroxysms  of  sneezing  at  the 
door  aroused  her,  and  when  he  came  into  the  room,  she 
noticed  his  face  was  paler  than  usual,  and  his  eyes  bor- 
dered by  thick  reddened  lids. 

"  Your  boy's  got  a  cold,  baby,"  he  said,  as  he  took  off 
his  coat. 

"  Have  you  ?  "  she  replied  drily. 

He  seemed  so  old  at  the  moment,  and  his  efforts  to 
appear  boyish  bothered  her.  Greenfield  noticed  the  lack 
of  kindness  in  her  voice. 

"  You  are  not  very  sympathetic  to-day,  kiddie." 

«  NO?  " 

He  looked  at  her.     "  No,"  he  replied. 

"  Oh,  I'm  sympathetic  all  right.  I'm  just  tired,  I 
guess." 

Greenfield  went  into  the  bathroom  and  when  he  came 
back,  he  drew  up  a  chair  very  close  to  her. 

"  I  had  a  funny  experience  to-day,  Hagar,"  he  began. 

"  What  was  it,  Ben  ?  "  as  she  put  her  book  down. 

"  Well,  I  was  fiddling  away  in  the  office,  not 
much  knowing  what  I  was  doing,  when  I  found  myself 
scribbling  away  on  the  blotter."  He  paused  for  a  mo- 


338  Hagar  Revelly 

ment.  "  It  was  very  interesting,  Hagar,  because  I  hon- 
estly didn't  know  what  I  was  doing." 

When  he  paused  again,  Hagar  said :  "  Well,  what  are 
you  driving  at?  " 

"  I  was  making  a  plat  of  our  —  friendship,  Hagar  — 
and  I  got  down  to  the  word  *  indifference,'  before  I  knew 
what  I  was  doing.  Then  I  pushed  the  thing  away  from 
me,  and  made  up  my  mind  that  I  was  going  to  be  a  little 
meaner  with  you.  And  then,  when  I  got  in  the  elevator 
out  there,  I  somehow  saw  your  little  figure,  and  your 
pretty  face — "  He  gave  a  sigh,  and  then  added: 
"  That's  all,  Hagar.  I've  just  found  out  what  a  fool 
I  am." 

"What's  all  that  got  to  do  with  me?" 

He  turned  his  eyes  out  of  the  window  in  a  strange  way : 
"  Oh,  nothing,  I  guess." 

After  a  time,  he  said :  "  It's  gloomy  in  here.  Why 
don't  you  make  a  light?  " 

"  I  like  the  twilight,"  she  answered.  "  It  makes  you 
think." 

"  Think?  » 

"Yes." 

"Of  what?" 

"  Oh,  things,"  she  answered  rather  vaguely. 

Greenfield  arose  and  stood  back  of  her  chair,  regarding 
her  for  a  long  time  before  saying  anything.  "  Hagar, 
you  don't  care  for  me  in  the  old  way,"  he  began. 

"  Why  do  you  say  that,  Ben?  " 

"  I'm  sure  of  it.  I  couldn't  be  surer  of  anything  than 
I  am  of  that." 

"  You've  no  reason  to  say  that." 

She  took  a  deep  breath,  as  if  pondering  over  some- 
thing about  which  she  had  thought  considerably.  Then, 
she  said,  quite  suddenly :  "  No,  you've  no  reason  to  say 
that,  and  then  I'm  getting  tired,  anyway,  of  having  you 


Hagar  Revelly  339 

come  home  every  evening  with  a  scowl  on  your  face.  I 
don't  see  why  you  can't  be  pleasant." 

"  Well,  if  I'm  that  way,  I  have  a  reason.  Remember 
how  you  used  to  put  your  arms  around  me  when  I  came 
in,  and  how  we  used  to  kiss  each  other?  It's  not  that 
way  any  more,  Hagar.  I  can't  help  noticing  it.  Why, 
you  haven't  said  '  good  night '  to  me  for  a  week." 

"  Oh,  well,  people  need  a  change.  Maybe  I'm  getting 
a  little  tired.  You  know  we've  been  together  for  a  long 
while.  Then  you  don't  ever  let  me  look  at  any  one  else 
anyway.  I  guess  that's  it,"  she  added.  "  You're  so 
jealous,  I'm  getting  tired  of  it." 

Greenfield  grasped  her  hand.  "  Don't  you  understand 
that's  because  I  love  you,  Hagar?  If  I  didn't  care  for 
you,  I  wouldn't  care  what  you  did." 

"  But  you  are  always  happy  when  you're  showing  me 
off  to  others,"  she  pointed  out.  "  You  think  I  am  some 
sort  of  a  toy,  that  walks  pretty  just  for  other  people, 
Ben.  Oh,  I  am  getting  sick  of  not  having  any  fun. 
Maybe  we've  been  together  too  much."  She  leaned  over 
and  rested  her  chin  on  her  hands.  After  a  time,  she 
sighed,  "  I  believe  I  ought  to  go  away." 

Greenfield  had  been  conscious  of  the  increasing  bitter- 
ness in  her  words  as  she  argued  with  herself.  But  now 
he  was  actually  startled,  exclaiming  in  tones  full  of  anx- 
iety :  "  You  mean  to  leave  me !  " 

Up  to  this  moment,  Hagar  had  not  even  the  slightest 
inkling  of  such  a  desire.  But  now,  in  the  instant,  Green- 
field's suspicion  made  a  certain  plan  seem  actually  feas- 
ible. The  suggestion  opened  up  such  a  wealth  of  pos- 
sibilities, she  wondered  why  she  had  not  thought  of  it  her- 
self. 

Now  she  answered  his  question.  "  No,  I  don't  want  to 
leave  you.  I  just  want  to  go  on  a  little  trip.  Then 
when  I  come  back,  maybe  it  will  be  different  again.  I've 


340  Hagar  Revelly 

thought  about  it  for  a  long  time.  I'd  go  to  —  Paris, 
maybe,  and  pick  up  a  few  clothes  while  I  was  at  it.  I'd 
like  to  get  some  foreign  things,  anyway." 

Her  eyes  were  dancing  as  she  worded  the  idea,  and 
when  Greenfield  came  over  and  sat  on  the  cushion  he  had 
placed  at  her  feet,  she  stroked  his  black,  curly  hair  with 
long,  gentle  caresses. 

"  Why  haven't  you  told  me  this  before  ?  "  he  asked. 
"  You  know,  I've  been  wondering  what  was  wrong." 

He  was  happy  again.  And  Hagar  worked  with  every 
resource  that  lay  in  her  being. 

Taking  hold  of  both  his  hands,  she  said :  "  I'm  aw- 
fully fon^  of  you,  Ben.  But  you  know  we've  hardly 
been  separated  for  nearly  a  year.  I've  worried  about  it, 
too,  fearing  that  such  a  thing  might  kill  our  love  for 
each  other  altogether.  And  I  didn't  want  that  to  hap- 
pen —  for  we've  had  some  pretty  good  times  together, 
haven't  we,  Ben  ?  "  She  spoke  wistfully,  and,  as  Green- 
field thought,  a  little  sadly. 

"  You  poor  kiddie,"  he  answered,  and  then,  "  But  why 
didn't  you  give  me  some  idea  of  what  was  troubling  you? 
I  worried  too,  Kiddie.  I  was  afraid  you  weren't  caring 
for  me.  The  other  night  you  just  sparkled  when  I 
brought  in  young  Kettle.  Something  came  into  my  mind 
that  night  that  kept  me  awake  for  hours." 

"What  was  it,  Ben?" 

"  Oh,  I  thought  —  well,  I  thought  that  maybe  I  was 
a  little  too  old  for  you." 

"  Foolish  boy,  -  you  don't  think  that,  do  you  ?  " 

"  No,"  he  said,  grasping  her  hand,  "  I  believe  I  under- 
stand you  now." 

That  night  he  sneezed  and  coughed  so  continually, 
that  after  a  few  hours,  Hagar  arose  from  her  disturbed 
sleep  and  fixed  for  him  a  hot  whiskey,  and  then  turned 


Hagar  Revelly  341 

on  the  hot  water  in  the  tub,  and  made  him  take  a  hot 
foot-bath. 

She  was  on  the  point  of  climbing  back  into  bed,  when 
she  happened  to  look  into  the  bathroom. 

He  was  half  asleep,  his  head  hung  loosely  on  his  shoul- 
der, while  the  light  from  the  single  incandescent  accentu- 
ated every  haggard  line  in  his  face. 

She  didn't  go  off  to  sleep,  and  when  he  came  into  the 
room,  told  him  she  thought  she  would  make  her  bed  on 
the  davenport.  "  I  believe  I  might  catch  your  cold," 
she  explained. 

"  You're  right,"  he  answered  drowsily,  a  little  dazed 
from  the  effects  of  the  whiskey  and  the  heat  of  the  bath- 
room. "  I  don't  see  why  I  didn't  think  of  it." 

Hagar  found  sleep  that  night  impossible. 

"  I've  got  to  get  away,"  was  her  one  thought. 

It  was  only  after  she  had  decided  not  to  wait  much 
longer,  that  she  found  any  rest. 

The  subject  of  a  trip  abroad  was  the  main  topic  of 
conversation  for  the  next  few  days. 

"  Oh,  you'll  be  proud  of  me  when  I  come  back,"  she 
told  him.  Then  she  would  do  a  sweeping  entree  in  some 
long-trained  Parisian  gown,  while  Greenfield  looked  on 
beaming,  pleased  with  the  return  of  her  lost  spirit. 

A  stop  was  put  to  their  preparations,  however,  when 
a  business  deal  in  Chicago  necessitated  Greenfield's  ab- 
sence from  the  city  for  about  a  week. 

Hagar  took  him  to  the  Pennsylvania  Terminal  amid  a 
storm  of  protestations,  though  she  was  more  concerned 
about  the  break  in  her  own  plans  than  about  his  leaving 
her. 

"  Oh,  I'll  be  back  before  you  expect  me,  little  one," 
said  he,  and  when  he  left  there  were  actual  tears  in  her 
eyes,  which  he  perceived  eagerly. 


Hagar  Revelly 

"  You  poor  child,"  he  remarked  brokenly,  and  refrained 
from  further  comments  lest  she  perceive  his  surging  feel- 
ings. 

When  the  porter  grasped  his  satchel  and  said :  "  Bet- 
ter leave,  Mister,  ain't  got  much  time,"  Greenfield  could 
hardly  hold  up  under  his  feelings. 

He  took  Hagar's  hand,  and  whispered :  "  Well,  Ha- 
gar, don't  worry,  I'll  be  back  soon."  He  looked  directly 
into  her  eyes.  "  Will  you  miss  me,  Hagar  ?  " 

She   breathed   a   faint,   wondering,   "  Yes." 

At  that  moment  Greenfield  seemed  to  break  completely. 
He  placed  both  of  his  hands  on  her  shoulders. 

"  Good-bye,  darling." 

"  Good-bye,  Ben." 

"I  love  you,  Hagar.     Do  you  love  me?" 

"  You  know  better  than  to  ask  that,  dear,"  she  an- 
swered softly. 

Resolutely  turning  away,  he  passed  through  the  iron 
gate,  while  Hagar  watched  his  set  shoulders  and  head, 
and  thought  to  herself  that  for  a  man  he  was  taking 
their  parting  rather  foolishly. 

When  Greenfield  settled  himself  in  his  seat,  his  temples 
were  throbbing.  An  ecstasy  of  happiness  pursed  through 
his  being.  It  seemed  that  Hagar  was  really  fond  of  him 
again,  and  a  hundred  times  he  recalled  and  clung  to  the 
memory  of  the  tears  in  her  eyes,  and  the  softness  in  her 
voice  as  she  bade  him  good-bye. 

Throughout  the  entire  journey,  each  changing  bit  of 
scenery,  all  the  quiet  of  the  fields  and  meadows,  brought 
to  him  mystic  symbols  from  his  beloved.  The  forests 
were  woodlands  where  shepherds  piped  love's  meditations ; 
the  little  stringed  ribbons  of  water  that  sparkled  in  the 
sunlight,  as  the  train  rushed  over  them,  were  silvery 
strands  that  carried  his  messages  across  the  open  coun- 
try. 


Hagar  Revelly  34S 

For  the  first  time  in  his  life,  he  refrained  from  enter- 
ing the  conversations  in  the  smoking-room,  finding  the 
talk  there,  stupid  and  inane. 

He  was  happy  and  exultant  in  his  loneliness,  and  when 
the  train  puffed  its  way  into  the  Union  Depot  at  Chicago, 
he  was  queerly  sorry  that  he  could  not  have  had  a  longer 
time  to  dwell  amidst  his  solitary  reflections. 


CHAPTER  XXVI 

THE  night  that  Greenfield  left,  Hagar  sat  in  a  rocking 
chair  by  the  window  until  nine  o'clock. 

Then  it  seemed  that  she  could  no  longer  endure  the 
loneliness  or  the  emphasis  of  it,  brought  on  by  watching 
the  moving  crowd  on  the  street  below.  Since  Greenfield 
had  left,  she  had  sat  wondering  if  she  would  have  to  spend 
nearly  a  week  shut  up  in  her  room  in  the  lonesome  hotel. 

Her  mind  worked  quickly,  propelled  by  some  hidden 
yearning  of  which  she  was  not  even  conscious. 

Why  hadn't  Greenfield  realized  how  lonesome  she  would 
be,  and  planned  some  way  out  of  it  for  her?  To  go  away 
without  thinking  of  what  she  would  endure,  showed  his 
selfishness. 

Immersed  in  a  flood  of  thought,  which  soon  passed  into 
anger,  she  went  to  the  telephone  and  called  for  Kettle 
at  the  Hotel  Astor. 

Luckily,  he  had  stopped  in,  to  change  his  clothes  for 
the  evening. 

In  a  moment  she  had  explained  to  him  how  lonesome  she 
was  —  how  she  had  sat  looking  out  of  the  window  for 
three  hours  —  that  Mr.  Greenfield  had  left  for  Chicago, 
and  that  —  she  didn't  know  why  she  asked  it  —  but  if 
he  had  nothing  else  better  to  do,  perhaps  he  would  not 
mind  stopping  in  to  keep  her  from  being  so  lonesome. 
She  added  that  this  was  the  first  time  Mr.  Greenfield  had 
ever  been  away  from  her  —  since  they  were  married. 

Her  eyes  fired  and  her  cheeks  colored,  as  she  tore  off 
her  tailored  suit  and  put  on  a  plain  evening  gown  of 
dark  grey  silk.  In  the  one-half  hour  she  took  to  dress, 

344 


Hagar  Revelly  345 

her  heart  vibrated  harmoniously  and  her  mind  sang  songs 
she  had  never  known  existed.  Nor  did  she  stop  to  ask 
herself  the  reason  for  this  feeling  of  light-hearted- 
ness. 

"  A  gentleman  in  the  parlor,  Mrs.  Greenfield,"  the 
telephone  operator  whispered. 

"I'll  be  right  down." 

In  another  moment,  she  had  finished  her  (dressing  anii 
walked  gaily  to  the  elevator. 

Kettle  stood  in  a  corner  of  the  parlor,  awaiting  her. 
When  he  greeted  her,  he  held  her  hand  a  little  long, 
looked  into  her  eyes  very  deeply,  then  said :  "  I'm  so 
glad  you  thought  of  me  in  your  lonesomeness,  Mrs. 
Greenfield." 

He  had  looked  deep  indeed  into  her  bright  eyes.  In 
five  minutes,  she  thought  they  would  go  out  to  some  cafe, 
as  he  suggested.  It  was  best  after  all  that  they  should 
not  stay  in  the  hotel,  because 

"  I  understand,"  he  smiled.  "  Let's  go  out  to  a  little 
bohemian  place  I  know  of.  You'll  like  it  there,  and  I'm 
nearly  starved." 

It  was  so  good  to  be  with  him.  He  didn't  treat  her 
quite  as  kindly  as  did  Greenfield,  but  that  was  only  a  re- 
lief. There  was  a  deference  in  his  manner,  and  a  certain 
tone  in  his  words,  which  immediately  made  her  feel  close 
to  him. 

When  he  helped  her  into  the  cab,  he  did  it  as  if  he 
knew  how.  And  though  there  was  a  moment  when  his 
arm  was  quite  about  her,  she  did  not  mind  it  in  the  least 
—  he  did  it  in  so  careless  a  manner,  she  was  sure  he  was 
unconscious  of  it. 

In  the  cab,  he  didn't  speak  of  Greenfield,  and  he  did  not 
flatter  her  and  compliment  her,  as  Greenfield  did.  In- 
stead he  talked  of  different  things,  an  interesting  man 
and  wife  episode  that  had  just  come  to  his  ears,  a  de- 


licious  bit  of  intimate  gossip  concerning  a  star  at  one 
of  the  Broadway  theatres.  He  talked  so  well,  dwelt  so 
lightly  upon  the  most  intimate  gossip,  slithered  so  com- 
pletely over  any  chance  for  her  embarrassment,  that  she 
felt  comfortable  and  happy  in  his  companionship  without 
once  searching  for  the  reason. 

When  Greenfield  had  talked  this  sort  of  thing  to  her, 
she  remembered  his  eyes  would  sparkle,  as  if  he  were 
proud  of  the  privilege  of  being  the  only  one  who  could 
talk  of  intimate  things  to  her.  And  yet  this  man  said 
much  the  same  things,  only  Kettle,  it  seemed,  was  really 
made  unhappy  by  being  compelled  to  mention  anything 
that  might  make  her  feel  uneasy. 

Hagar  thought  over  this  comparison  all  the  way  to 
Thibeau's. 

When  they  reached  the  little  Frenchman's  place,  Ket- 
tle took  her  up  the  narrow  stairs  to  the  second  floor, 
where  many  small  tables  had  converted  a  front  bedroom 
into  a  dining  parlor. 

They  were  greeted  by  M.  Thibeau,  who  recognized 
Kettle  at  once. 

"  Ah,  bon  soir,  Monsieur.  Je  suis  heureux  de  vous 
voir,"  he  said,  as  he  bowed  them  to  a  little  table  set  in  an 
alcove. 

After  they  were  seated,  and  the  proprietor's  assistant 
had  very  graciously  placed  upon  the  table  the  plates, 
knives,  forks  and  spoons,  the  polite  Monsieur  explained 
to  them  that  just  that  day  had  some  elegant  escargots 
been  obtained. 

For  a  moment  Kettle  and  the  man  indulged  in  a  con- 
versation concerning  the  dinner,  while  Hagar  looked  upon 
her  companion  with  admiring  eyes.  It  was  the  first  time 
she  had  ever  had  for  a  friend  one  who  spoke  a  foreign 
tongue. 

As  the  waddling  little  Frenchman  made  his  way  to  the 


Hagar  Revelly  347 

kitchen,  Hagar  exclaimed  gleefully :  "  Oh,  isn't  this 
just  great ! " 

"  I  come  here  often,"  Kettle  replied.  "  There's  some- 
thing cheerful  about  this  place.  And  then  you  hardly 
ever  meet  any  one." 

"  You  come  here  alone?  "  she  questioned. 

"Sure.     Why  not?" 

"  Oh,  I  shouldn't  think  any  one  would  want  to  go  about 
alone.  It's  —  so  lonesome." 

Kettle  pulled  his  chair  closer  to  the  table,  and  in  the 
dim  light  from  a  flickering  candle  under  a  red  shade,  he 
looked  steadily  at  her. 

*'  I  wonder  if  you  know  what  it  means,  Mrs.  Green- 
field, to  be  in  a  place  —  like  this,  where  everything  is  so 
quiet  and  so  charming.  You  know  I'd  rather  come  here 
alone  than  bring  some  one  who'd  spoil  the  harmony  of  it. 
To  me,  coming  here  is  like  getting  into  —  a  bed  of  rose 
leaves  —  now,  I  wouldn't  want  to  deaden  the  fragrance 
of  the  place  by  bringing  in  a  sunflower,  or  a  daisy,  would 
I?" 

She  saw  instantly  the  subtle  compliment. 

"  So,  thinking  I  belong  in  this  flower-bed,  you  bring 
me?" 

"  Exactly." 

"  Well,  you  say  it  very  nice,"  she  laughed. 

"  Oh,  I  mean  it,"  he  answered,  and  she  noticed  that  he 
had  suddenly  become  very  serious. 

After  there  had  been  nearly  a  minute  of  silence,  broken 
only  by  his  steadfast  gaze  into  her  eyes,  she  said :  "  I 
would  like  to  come  to  this  sort  of  place  oftener." 

"Why  don't  you?" 

Hagar  thought  for  a  moment.  "  Oh,  he  always  wants 
to  go  to  the  big  hotels,  and  parade  me  in  front  of  the 
gang." 

"Who  do  you  mean?" 


34«8  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Why  —  Ben  —  Mr.  Greenfield." 

"  And  you  don't  like  that?  " 

She  hesitated  before  she  answered  him.  "  Well  —  I 
suppose  I — "  then  she  blurted  on  with  her  little  jaws 
set  hard,  "  No,  I  hate  it.  This  is  the  kind  of  thing  I 
like." 

The  waiter  brought  in  a  big  tray,  filled  with  many  lit- 
tle dishes;  small  sardines,  cold  liver,  onions,  radishes,  and 
sausage. 

After  the  man  had  arranged  the  tray  on  the  table, 
Kettle  asked  him  to  bring  some  caviar. 

"What  did  you  just  say  to  him?  "  Hagar  asked,  eager 
to  pick  up  a  word  of  French. 

"  Oh,  I  told  him  to  bring  some  caviar,  along  with  the 
hors-d'oeuvre." 

"With  the  what?" 

"  The  hors-d'oeuvre  —  those  things."  He  pointed  to 
the  numerous  little  trays. 

"  Oh,  I  see,"  she  cried. 

She  didn't  really  understand,  but  felt  that  she  couldn't 
show  before  him  any  greater  ignorance  than  he  had  al- 
ready discovered.  At  that  moment  she  was  even  a  bit 
ashamed  of  herself,  and  wondered  why  this  suave,  clever 
man  should  be  attracted  to  her. 

"  Of  what  are  you  thinking?  "  he  asked,  as  he  saw 
her  gazing,  vacantly. 

"  Oh,  forgive  me.  I  —  was  just  thinking  —  I've  got 
a  lot  to  think  about." 

Kettle  regarded  her  beautiful  eyes,  her  quaint,  child- 
ish mouth,  for  what  seemed  to  Hagar  an  interminable 
time.  Then  he  said :  "  You  mustn't  chink  too  much, 
child.  You  might  change  the  current  of  things.  You 
know  everything  goes  along  all  right,  if  we  only  leave  it 
alone." 


'Hagar  Revelly  349 

He  was  smiling  at  her  kindly.  She  could  see  how  white 
were  his  well-formed  teeth. 

"Don't  you  think  so?"  he  asked. 

She  thought  a  moment,  then  replied  honestly :  "  Oh, 
it's  too  deep  for  me.  But  it  seems  that  there  are  so  many 
worries,  that  if  I  just  let  things  go  alone,  I  get  to  worry- 
ing, thinking  I  ought  to  do  something  about  it,  or  ought 
to  worry  more  than  I  do.  You  know  what  I  mean?  " 

"  Sure,"  he  smiled.  Leaning  over  the  table,  he 
touched  her  hand  gently.  "  Let's  get  a  bite,"  he  said 
earnestly.  "  I  really  haven't  eaten  anything  since  three 
o'clock." 

And  for  fear  that  he  might  observe  that  she  had  al- 
ready eaten,  and  not  wishing  to  spoil  their  dinner,  she  too 
began  eating,  as  if  she  were  very  hungry. 

He  exclaimed :  "  We're  both  pretty  hungry,  aren't 
we?" 

"  I  should  say  we  are." 

"  How'd  you  like  to  eat  here  every  night,  like  this  ?  " 

"  It  would  certainly  suit  me  all  right,"  she  replied, 
looking  up  from  her  food. 

In  good  crisp  French,  Kettle  ordered  a  quart  of  cham- 
pagne of  some  special  vintage,  which  made  the  waiter 
smile  and  say :  "  Oui  monsieur  —  oui  monsieur,"  several 
times. 

"  You'll  drink  a  little,  won't  you,  Mrs.  Greenfield?  "  he 
asked,  after  the  waiter  had  disappeared  through  a  door 
at  the  back  of  the  room. 

"  Why,  I  don't  mind,"  she  answered. 

The  dinner  passed  along  nicely.  The  wine  dulled  the 
process  of  preliminary  acquaintance,  the  food  justified 
the  practical  side  of  their  being  together. 

"  You  know,  people  don't  know  how  to  live,"  he  re- 
marked, as  he  finished  a  toast  to  the  evening.  "  They 


350  Hagar  Revelly 

fret  and  bother,  and  only  hunt  for  situations  that  will 
make  them  miserable  and  unhappy.  When  they  come 
across  a  little  fun,  they  hunt  up  all  the  things  that  might 
happen,  and  they  worry  about  that  end  of  it  so  much, 
that  when  they  really  do  anything  a  little  out  of  the 
ordinary,  it  is  more  like  a  task  than  anything  else. 

"  They  think  about  it  too  much,  and  then,  of  course, 
they  have  to  carry  off  the  job  just  like  anything  else 
that  is  planned." 

"  You  think  people  ought  to  go  ahead,  then,  and  do 
whatever  they  just  happen  to  think  of?  "  A  vague  sug- 
gestion of  Paris  was  floating  in  her  mind. 

"  Why,  yes.  If  they  think  of  it,  then  it  is  all  over. 
They  wouldn't  be  happy  unless  they'd  go  do  it." 

Hagar  was  silent  for  a  long  time.  "  I  believe  you  are 
right,"  she  said  at  last. 

Kettle  helped  her  to  another  glass  of  wine. 

"  But  let's  not  talk  of  life,"  as  he  raised  his  glass  on 
a  level  with  her  eyes,  and  proposed  a  toast :  "  One  never 
gets  any  place.  We'll  just  be  happy!" 

She  looked  across  the  table  at  him.  He  was  so  kind 
looking,  and  his  eyes  seemed  so  soft  and  gentle,  although 
there  was  about  his  mouth  an  expression  of  sadness  that 
played  back  and  forth  around  the  corners.  However, 
this  added  to  his  manner  a  good  deal  of  strength.  Then 
she  noticed  how  well  he  was  dressed.  His  shoulders 
seemed  so  narrow  and  boyish,  and  his  white  collar  fitted 
him  so  snugly,  and  was  so  close  together  in  front. 

She  was  deep  in  reverie,  when  a  question  from  Kettle 
startled  her  —  although  she  had  been  conscious  of  his 
eyes  for  a  long  time. 

"  I  wonder  if  you  are  happy,  Mrs.  Greenfield,"  he  asked 
earnestly. 

She  looked  at  him,  a  little  puzzled. 

"Why  do  you  ask?" 


Hagar  Revelly  351 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know.     I  just  am  interested,  I  guess." 

Kettle  saw  her  face  cloud,  and  then  settle  into  less 
happy  lines.  "  Well,  I  suppose  I  am  happy  —  some- 
times." 

Gently  he  took  her  hand,  remarking :  "  I'm  sorry.  I 
didn't  mean  to  make  you  unhappy  by  asking  that." 
Then  he  loosened  his  grasp  very  suddenly. 

"  Oh,  it's  all  right,"  Hagar  said  quickly.  "  I  just 
haven't  got  very  good  control  of  my  feelings,  I  guess. 
And  I  " —  she  looked  away  from  him  — "  I  have  a  lot  of 
things  to  make  me  unhappy,  if  I  stop  to  think  of  them." 

"What  are  they?  Tell  me?"  He  leaned  across  the 
table. 

"  Oh,  I  can't  tell  them  —  offhand." 

Her  eyes  fell  to  where  she  was  gradually  unravelling  a 
silken  cord  that  hung  twirling  from  the  wine  list.  A 
strange  feeling  was  swelling  and  receding  within  her. 

Kettle  kept  politely  away  from  her.  His  only  show 
of  affection  had  been  the  one  gentle  touch  of  her  hand. 
It  made  Hagar  wonder,  in  a  bewildered  way,  if  he  didn't 
care  any  more  for  her  than  that.  She  wondered  why  he 
had  jerked  away  from  her  so  suddenly. 

"  Is  it  that  you  don't  want  me  to  know  ?  "  she  heard 
him  say. 

"  Oh,  I  —  I  do  —  want  you  to  know." 

He  said  a  little  heavily :     "  You  mean  that  ?  " 

Then  he  beckoned  with  his  eyes  to  the  waiter  for  an- 
other bottle  of  champagne.  As  he  turned  to  her,  he  said 
again :  "  You  mean  that  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  guess  I  do,"  she  whispered.  Her  voice  was 
full  of  resignation  and  weariness,  as  though  she  were  tired 
of  some  inward  struggle. 

"  Then  tell  me." 

"  Oh,  that's  not  so  easy." 

"  Tell  me,  child." 


352  Hagar  Revelly 

"Well  — oh,  I  can't  —  tell  you." 

He  leaned  over  and  seized  her  hand  somewhat  roughly. 
"You've  got  to  tell  me." 

"  Well  —  you  know  —  well,  I'm  not  married  to  —  oh, 
God !  I  can't  say  it !  " 

.  .  .  Hagar  reached  the  Malvern  Hotel  at  three 
o'clock  the  next  afternoon. 

"  I've  been  out  to  New  Rochelle,"  she  told  the  clerk. 
"  Some  friends  took  me  out  in  a  machine." 

When  she  reached  her  room,  she  sat  by  the  window  until 
dusk. 

Back  and  forth  she  rocked,  taking  deep,  slow  inhala- 
tions from  a  cigarette. 

There  had  come  a  change  in  her  life.  Something  per- 
plexing—  yet  good  —  a  rift  in  the  lute. 


CHAPTER  XXVII 

THE  following  letter  Hagar  received  on  the  third  day 
after  Greenfield's  departure: 

"  My  darling  Girl : 

I've  got  the  dickens  to  tell  you.  It's  this:  I  won't  be  East 
for  three  weeks,  possibly  four.  Just  this  morning,  I  received 
a  long  wire  from  the  old  man,  who  says  that  I  must  go  to 
'Frisco  immediately,  even  if  I  leave  things  rest  here  until  I 
get  back.  A  big  department  store  out  there,  is  going  out  of 
business,  and  he  thinks  it's  a  great  chance  to  buy  at  less  than 
forty  cents  on  the  dollar.  What  can  I  do?  You  know  how  I 
feel  about  it,  kiddie.  I  miss  you  more  than  I  can  tell.  At 
night  everything  is  so  empty,  and  I  get  so  rotten  lonesome. 
This  is  my  last  trip,  you  can  bet  on  that. 

Now,  you  might  think  that  you  could  join  me,  and  that  we 
could  have  a  lovely  time,  going  out  to  the  Coast  together. 
Well,  darling,  you  know  I  would  do  that  if  I  could.  But  I'm 
known  out  there,  and  you  can  understand  —  they  know  I'm 
not  married.  Anyway,  it  might  make  a  fuss,  and  maybe  queer 
things.  So  here  are  my  plans:  I  am  going  to  make  up  for  be- 
ing such  a  bad  boy.  Listen.  Since  it  may  be  nearly  a  month 
before  I  get  back,  I  want  you  to  pack  up  and  get  over  as 
much  of  that  Paris  stunt  as  possible.  You  can  do  all  that  you 
want  in  six  weeks,  counting  going  and  coming,  and  then  I'll 
only  have  to  be  alone  in  New  York  for  a  couple  of  weeks  after 
I  get  back.  I  don't  believe  I  could  stand  it  much  longer  than 
that,  anyway.  You  know  what  New  York  is  in  the  summer 
time. 

I  know  you  will  think  these  plans  O.  K.  You  must  send 
me  a  letter  every  day,  or  a  night  wire,  and  of  course,  a  tele- 
gram when  you  sail.  As  you  see,  I  am  here  at  the  Annex  now. 
My  address  will  be  c/o  St.  Francis  Hotel,  San  Francisco. 

353 


354  Hagar  Revelly 

As  for  money,  I  will  write  immediately  and  tell  the  Bank 
to  fix  up  a  letter  of  credit  for  you  for  one  thousand  dollars. 
How's  that?  Now,  how  much  do  I  think  of  my  little  baby? 

Be  sure  and  write  me  right  away  to  'Frisco.  Also,  don't 
forget  the  telegram. 

Your  lonesome   boy,   with   love, 

BEN. 

P.S. —  I  think  maybe  I'll  make  it  for  twelve  hundred. 

Take  one  of  the  Hamburg-American  boats,  as  we  talked  it 
over.  I  hear  they've  got  a  band  on  them.  Just  now  the  bell 
boy  brought  me  a  folder.  The  Kaiserin  Augusta  Victoria  sails 
the  £0th,  and  the  President  Lincoln,  another  pretty  good  boat 
(I  just  called  up  the  agent  and  he  says  it  is  very  good,  and  not 
as  expensive  as  the  Kaiserin)  sails  the  24th.  Let  me  hear. 

You  don't  know  how  hard  it  is,  to  feel  that  we  are  both 
going  farther  away  from  each  other.  Kiddie,  I  never  knew 
how  much  I  missed  you  until  now.  It  has  set  me  to  thinking 
a  lot.  We've  been  together  a  long  while,  and  know  each  other 
pretty  well,  don't  we?  And  I  guess  we  get  along  pretty  well, 
considering  everything.  Well,  when  I  get  back,  I'm  going 
to  speak  to  you  about  something.  My  guess  is,  it  will  sur- 
prise you  a  lot.  But  I  can  see  now  what  kind  of  a  life  I  was 
leading  before  we  went  together.  Can  you  guess  what  I 
mean  ?  " 

How  she  studied  over  it.  In  her  mind  was  the  question 
as  to  whether  his  goodness  to  her  should  make  her  stop 
her  perfidy,  or  whether  it  was  not  now  an  easier  thing  to 
simply  follow  the  plans  he  laid  out  for  her. 

Somehow,  she  wished  she  had  received  that  letter  before 
going  with  Kettle.  But  now  —  what  action  could  make 
it  right?  His  weakness  seemed  all  of  a  sudden  a  strange 
argument  against  her  taking  advantage  of  him.  Like  a 
huntsman  she  felt,  who  will  not  kill  a  bird  unaware  of  his 
presence  a  few  feet  off,  but  who  hesitates  not  at  all  to  kill 
a  score  on  the  wing. 

It  would  not  be  very  difficult  to  leave  Kettle.     But 


Hagar  Revelly  355 

somehow,  his  clever  attentions  seemed  to  bring  out  some- 
thing big  and  honest  in  Greenfield's  crude  ways. 

For  the  whole  day,  she  stayed  in  her  room,  trying  to 
decide.  Back  and  forth  she  reasoned.  Was  it  right 
to  take  the  money,  just  after  she  had  been  so  false  to 
Greenfield?  Then,  what  good  would  any  money  do  — 
if  she  did  not  lie  to  him?  After  all,  she  only  wanted  to 
leave,  because  he  was  bori~c£  her.  And  if  he  didn't  give 
her  the  money,  she  wouldn't  be  able  to  go.  Would  she 
not  be  foolish  to  let  a  chance  like  this  slip  by?  Why 
couldn't  she  take  the  money,  have  a  good  time  in  Paris, 
and  then  come  back?  Everything  would  be  just  the  same, 
then,  and  if  Greenfield  would  give  her  these  trips  once  in 
a  while,  maybe  she  could  hold  out  with  him.  That  was  a 
point  she  had  never  considered.  It  was  really  Greenfield 
whom  she  was  doing  a  favor. 

Hagar  thought  of  Paris  now  more  pleasantly.  She 
saw  that  she  had  been  a  fool  to  worry  about  it,  even  to 
hesitate.  It  was  a  good  deal  like  what  Kettle  had  told 
her,  about  people  who  spoiled  their  pleasures  for  them- 
selves. 

It  would  be  wonderful  to  go  to  Paris.  She  would  go 
to  the  best  hotel,  to  the  opera,  people  would  look  at  her 
and  wonder  who  she  was,  always  alone.  Maybe  —  she 
wouldn't  always  be  alone  ...  A  soft  voice,  en- 
ticing, alluring,  came  to  her  as  she  pondered,  as  if  blown 
along  on  the  crest  of  the  evening  winds ;  and  it  said : 
"  You  fool,  take  advantage  of  the  opportunity.  Who 
knows  what  Paris  will  bring?  Maybe — " 

Still  thinking,  Hagar  went  out  on  the  little  stone  bal- 
cony and  looked  at  the  blue  sky,  fading  4nto  grey.  Her 
thoughts  seemed  to  bring  her  into  a  limitless  space,  where 
torrents  of  ecstasy  were  bursting  tumultuously  over  her 
in  some  giant  waterfall.  Standing  there  in  the  open  air, 
she  felt  queerly  thrilled. 


356  Hagar  Revelly 

Hagar  was  never  busier  than  she  was  the  next  day. 
Having  retired  quite  early,  after  telling  Kettle  she  could 
not  see  him,  she  was  very  fresh  and  determined,  and  fol- 
lowed Greenfield's  advice  to  the  letter.  By  noon  time 
she  had  booked  her  passage  and  drawn  the  money,  as  he 
suggested.  A  letter  by  special  delivery  had  already 
reached  the  Bank  from  Greenfield. 

The  afternoon  she  spent  in  numerous  fittings  of  a 
mauve  colored  travelling  suit,  which  she  bought  ready- 
made  in  a  Fifth  Avenue  shop. 

It  was  four  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  when  she  reached 
home,  but  she  began  packing  immediately.  Exultant 
and  happy,  she  danced  about  the  room.  "  I'm  going  to 
Paris,  I  am  going  to  Paris."  Each  bit  of  clothing,  as 
she  placed  it  in  the  large  cabinet  trunk,  sent  back  an 
echoed  reply. 

By  the  night  before  she  sailed,  everything  had  been 
attended  to.  And  to  make  sure  that  nothing  would  hap- 
pen to  her  letter  of  Credit,  she  placed  it  in  the  bottom  of 
her  trunk,  under  some  old  shoes.  Even  then,  she  felt  so 
uneasy  about  it,  she  made  an  extra  trip  to  Hoboken,  to 
see  if  the  trunk  had  arrived  at  the  docks. 

The  steamer  sailed  at  ten  o'clock  in  the  morning. 
They  told  her  it  would  be  a  good  idea,  to  be  on  the  safe 
side,  by  getting  on  the  boat  much  earlier,  around  seven- 
thirty  or  eight  o'clock. 

So  she  planned  to  go  to  bed  very  early,  and  finished  her 
dinner  by  seven  o'clock. 

And  only  after  Hagar  had  reached  her  room,  and 
found  herself  unoccupied  for  the  first  time  in  three  days, 
did  she  think  of  Kettle,  and  feel  that  she  had  not  been 
fair  to  him. 

She  was  rather  glad,  then,  when  a  bell  boy  brought  up 
a  message  from  him,  written  on  the  hotel  paper. 


Hagar  Revelly  357 

"  I'm  downstairs.  I  can't  understand  what's  come  over  you. 
Come  down,  or  I'll  come  up." 

The  boy  was  hardly  out  of  the  room  before  the  tele- 
phone bell  rang. 

"  What's  wrong?  "  he  asked.  "  Will  you  come  down, 
Hagar?" 

"  I've  been  so  busy.     Where  are  you  ?  "  she  answered. 

"  I'm  downstairs.     Shall  I  come  up  ?  " 

"  Oh,  you  ean't  come  up,  but  if  you'll  wait,  I'll  come 
down." 

"  Why  —  haven't  —  you  seen  me  ?  " 

"  Oh,  really,  I've  been  so  busy.  I'm  going  over  —  I'll 
tell  you  when  I  come  down." 

She  paused  for  a  moment,  not  knowing  whether  she 
was  really  happy  after  all  at  hearing  from  him.  Some- 
how, she  wanted  to  be  quiet,  in  the  darkness  of  the  room, 
wanted  to  think  and  dream  of  the  trip. 

Her  hat  was  not  yet  on,  when  a  knock  came  at  the 
door.  Thinking  it  was  the  maid,  she  said :  "  Come  in." 

Kettle  quietly  opened  the  door,  came  over  to  her,  folded 
her  in  his  arms  for  a  heavy,  passionate  embrace,  and  then, 
quite  as  nonchalantly,  took  off  his  gloves  and  laid  them 
on  a  chair  with  his  hat  and  cane. 

"  I  couldn't  see  the  use  of  hanging  around  down  there 
in  the  parlor  —  with  Ben  in  'Frisco,"  he  laughed. 

"  I  think  he  gets  there  to-night,"  she  answered.  "  But 
you  shouldn't  have  come  up.  I  don't  think  it's  good 
policy,  do  you?  He's  such  good  friends  with  the  clerks." 

"  Oh,  it's  all  right.  You've  got  a  sitting-room  here, 
anyway.  They  couldn't  say  anything." 

"  You  don't  know,  Ben,"  she  answered. 

He  thought  she  said  it  rather  derisively,  while  to  Ha- 
gar's  mind  there  came  a  thought  that  it  would  have  been 
impossible  for  her  to  go  to  bed  so  early,  anyway.  She 


358  Hagar  Revelly 

added:  "But,  really,  I'm  awfully  glad  to  see  you,  just 
the  same." 

"  I  tried  to  get  you  a  dozen  times  yesterday  and  the 
day  before.  They  always  said  you  were  out." 

"  Yes,  I  know.     I've  been  busy  getting  things  ready." 

"Ready?" 

"  Yes,  I'm  going  to  Europe." 

"To  Europe?  Good  heavens!  What  next?  Are  you 
really?" 

"  Surely.     Going  for  about  six  weeks  or  so." 

Kettle  was  too  astonished  to  speak  for  a  full  minute. 

"Why  —  what's  become  of  Greenfield?" 

Hagar  explained  everything  to  him,  even  telling  how 
guilty  she  felt  by  taking  Greenfield's  money.  When  she 
had  finished,  Kettle  seemed  very  disappointed. 

"  I  thought  you  were  going  to  stay  in  town  this  sum- 
mer. I'll  miss  you,"  he  said  dejectedly. 

While  Kettle  talked  to  her,  he  noticed  that  she  was 
very  restless,  going  to  the  window  and  gazing  in  an  ab- 
stract way.  At  last  he  said :  "  You've  certainly  been 
acting  queer,  Hagar.  And  now  you're  so  restless. 
What's  the  matter  with  you  ?  " 

She  turned  to  him,  exclaiming  suddenly :  "  Oh,  I  don't 
know.  I  just  wish  you'd  go  downstairs.  Somehow,  I 
feel  nervous  having  you  up  here." 

He  took  his  cane  and  hat.  "  As  you  say.  Where 
will  I  meet  you?  " 

"  Down  in  the  parlor.  I'm  sorry,  but  I  believe  I'd 
feel  better." 

Just  for  a  moment  he  looked  at  her.  Then  he  put 
his  arm  around  her.  "  My  God,  child ! "  he  exclaimed. 
"  A  man  could  be  trampled  on  till  his  bones  were  dust 
by  some  other  woman,  yet  there's  something  in  you  that 
would  make  him  do  over  again  all  the  ghastly  things." 

At  that  moment  came  Greenfield  —  tired,  anxious,  up 


Hagar  Revelly  359 

to  the  desk  of  the  office  downstairs.  He  greeted  the 
clerk:  "Hello,  Charlie." 

"  Why,  Ben !  I  thought  you  were  going  to  'Frisco. 
Your  wife  just  told  us  that  to-day." 

"  Changed  my  mind.  Couldn't  stay  away."  He 
laughed  a  little  shamedly,  and  then  asked  if  Mrs.  Green- 
field was  in  the  room. 

The  clerk  looked  around,  on  to  the  high  cabinet-like 
key  rack.  "  Guess  she  is  —  the  key's  not  here.  Have  a 
good  trip?  " 

"  Well,  fair.  Lost  out  on  a  big  job  lot  in  'Frisco, 
right  at  the  last  minute.  Don't  know  as  that  I'm  sorry, 
though." 

The  clerk  gave  an  order  to  the  porter  about  sending 
the  grips  up  to  the  room. 

"  Oh,  better  wait  —  say  —  five  minutes,"  said  Green- 
field, blushing  like  any  schoolboy  lover.  "  I  just  want 
to  surprise  her." 

He  went  into  the  elevator. 

"  Howdy,  Mr.  Greenfield,"  grinned  the  black-faced  ele- 
vator boy. 

"  Howdy,  Clarence." 

"  Thought  youse  'ud  be  in  'Frisco  by  this  time." 

"  Changed  my  mind,  Clarence." 

"Yessah,  yessah.     Fif   floor,   Mr.   Greenfield." 

Ben  Greenfield  walked  hurriedly  and  softly  down  the 
padded  carpet  to  his  door,  and  was  on  the  point  of  open- 
ing it  when  a  thought  struck  him  that  it  would  be  a 
greater  surprise  to  Hagar,  if  he  came  in  through  the  bed- 
room door.  And  so,  very  gently,  he  walked  back  and 
unlocked  the  door  at  the  other  end  of  their  suite. 

For  a  moment  he  stopped  to  better  control  himself, 
and  then  tiptoed  to  the  curtain  leading  into  the  parlor. 
"  She'll  be  in  the  rocker  by  the  window,  I'll  bet  a  dollar," 
he  said  to  himself. 


360  Hagar  Revelly 

He  pushed  aside  the  curtain. 

Outlined  against  the  glare  that  came  in  through  the 
window  from  an  electric  sign  upon  a  near-by  building, 
there  were  two  figures  in  a  close,  silent  embrace. 

One  impulse  after  another  crowded  in  upon  Greenfield's 
devastated  senses. 

Then  he  silently  crept  back  into  the  bedroom.  They 
had  not  noticed  him.  With  a  smothered  cry  he  threw 
himself  across  the  foot  of  the  bed. 

In  the  next  room,  the  figures  in  the  dim  light  were 
parting. 

"  I'll  be  in  the  parlor,"  said  the  man.     "  Hurry." 

**  I'll  be  down  in  just  a  minute,"  she  answered. 

Possibly  premonitions  are  exact  combinations  of 
thought  molecules,  possibly  there  is  some  psychic  force, 
some  moral,  psychic  life  that  presupposes  the  integrity 
of  the  brain.  At  least,  there  came  to  Hagar,  as  Ket- 
tle left  her,  a  renewed  feeling  of  impending  calamity.  It 
seemed  to  be  at  its  height  the  moment  she  shut  the  door 
after  Kettle. 

And  it  was  in  a  state  of  bewilderment  and  daze,  of 
blind  walking  into  tragedy,  that  she  went  into  the  room 
where  Greenfield  lay  sobbing  on  the  bed. 

She  was  not  startled  by  his  presence.  She  even  gave 
no  sign  of  inward  disturbance.  It  may  have  been  the 
feeling  of  guilt,  which,  like  a  narcotic,  had  dulled  her 
senses. 

For  a  minute,  she  stood  at  the  side  of  the  bed,  regard- 
ing him.  When  he  sat  upright,  and  cried :  "  Good 
God,"  she  turned  and  silently  went  over  to  the  dresser. 

**  Now,  don't  make  a  scene,"  she  muttered.  "  Control 
yourself." 

She  told  herself  that  he  would  do  her  no  harm.  He 
was  too  afraid  for  himself  and  of  consequences.  In  that 
second  of  reflection,  she  even  lost  a  little  respect  for 


Hagar  Revelly  361 

him  when  she  realized  that  he  had  been  too  cowardly  to 
assault  the  other  man. 

"  Who  —  was  he  —  tell  me !  "  he  cried  at  her,  hoarsely. 

"Didn't  you  see  him?" 

"  No,  it  was  too  dark." 

"  Then  I  won't  tell  you." 

"  You  damned  — " 

The  telephone  gave  a  thin  little  ring,  and  like  a  lost 
waif  in  a  storm,  made  its  way  into  the  room. 

Greenfield  jumped  up  and  ran  to  the  'phone,  while  Ha- 
gar did  not  move.  "What's  the  use?"  she  was  think- 
ing. 

At  the  'phone,  he  cried :     "  Well,  what  is  it  ?  " 

Even  Hagar  could  hear  the  little  brass  voice :  "  Is 
this  521?" 

"Yes,  521." 

"  Mr.  Kettle  left  his  gloves.  He  says  to  bring  them 
down  when  you  come." 

Greenfield  dropped  the  receiver  and  turned  on  her  sav- 
agely. 

"  So  —  it's  Kettle !  "  he  screamed  at  her.  "  Oh,  to  think 
—  I  never  even  suspected — " 

There  was  a  little  sneer  on  Hagar's  face  as  she  turned 
away.  "  I  have  nothing  to  say.  You  thought  you'd 
play  a  trick  on  me.  You  see  what  you  get." 

Then  she  turned  on  him  savagely. 

"  And  I  swallowed  your  story  whole.  I  suppose  I 
would  have  believed  you  —  if  you  said  you  were  going  to 
Honolulu."  She  snapped  her  fingers  defiantly  in  his  face. 
"  However,  I  care  —  that  much,"  she  remarked  with  the 
action. 


CHAPTER  XXVHI 

HAGAE'S  show  of  defiance  completely  overwhelmed  Green- 
field. For  many  minutes  he  was  unable  to  word  any  one 
of  the  thoughts  that  came  rushing  into  his  brain.  His 
face  had  become  woefully  haggard,  his  eyes  circled  by 
rings  that  were  more  than  ever  yellowish  and  discolored. 

"  I'm  going  down  to  see  Kettle,"  he  said,  as  he  found 
his  way  to  the  door,  while  Hagar  stood  silently  by  the 
window,  not  a  muscle  of  her  body  betraying  the  anger  and 
passion  she  felt.  He  had  tricked  her,  she  reasoned,  and 
her  sense  of  self- judgment  at  that  moment  was  as  im- 
pervious as  a  steel  casket. 

It  was  the  end.  She  saw  that  plainly.  And  she  did 
not  regret  it.  It  had  only  been  toleration  on  her  part 
that  had  kept  off  just  such  a  climax  through  all  the 
months. 

For  a  time  she  stood  perfectly  rigid,  wondering  what 
would  happen  to  Greenfield,  and  then  as  he  failed  to  re- 
turn, and  nearly  an  hour  passed,  she  became  nervous, 
and  turned  on  all  the  lights  in  both  rooms. 

When  she  could  stand  it  no  longer,  she  went  to  the 
'phone  and  managed  to  rouse  the  sleepy  operator. 

"  Is  the  clerk  there  ?  "  she  asked. 

"  The  clerk  lives  in  Harlem,"  came  the  answer. 
:  What's  the  matter?  " 

"  Oh  —  nothing." 

Of  what  good  was  it  to  tell  her  troubles  to  the  sleepy 
operator? 

Greenfield,  drunken  and  sotted,  came  struggling  into 
the  room  about  three  o'clock.  He  managed  to  gain 

362 


Hagar  Revelly  363 

the  bed,  and  then  threw  himself  across  the  white  cover, 
utterly  collapsed.  His  collar  was  torn  off,  his  eyes  were 
bloodshot,  his  face  bruised,  where  he  had  evidently  fallen 
to  the  pavement. 

Hagar  stood  looking  at  him.  And  then,  when  he  be- 
gan to  moan,  she  ran  to  the  window.  The  faint  grey  of 
dawn  was  beginning  to  peep  up  behind  the  Times  Tower. 

Her  path  lay  ahead  of  her,  cleared  and  free  of  all  ob- 
stacles. When  she  actually  realized  how  simplified  mat- 
ters had  become,  she  was  even  a  little  startled.  He  was 
drunk,  it  would  last  until  noon  at  any  rate.  She  would 
sleep  a  couple  of  hours,  dress,  get  a  cab,  and  be  off  — 
for  Paris.  After  all  —  how  lucky ! 

In  a  moment  she  had  flung  off  her  greyish  tailored  suit 
and  undone  her  lustrous  black  hair.  Then  she  took  a 
pillow  from  off  the  bed,  and  lay  down  upon  the  couch  in 
the  parlor. 

At  six  o'clock  she  awakened  spontaneously.  The  sun 
had  already  penetrated  into  the  room  and  she  drew  the 
curtains  down  to  keep  out  the  light.  Then,  to  reassure 
herself,  she  slipped  into  the  bedroom.  But  Greenfield 
lay  snoring  in  an  anesthetic-like  stupor,  his  senses  still 
drowned  by  the  frenzied  drinking  in  which  he  had  in- 
dulged. 

In  a  half  hour,  she  had  bathed  and  dressed,  and  packed 
her  hand  satchel,  ready  for  departure.  It  was  like  a 
thief  in  the  night  that  she  stole  out  of  the  room,  and 
she  was  already  near  the  elevator  when  a  troubling 
thought  beset  her  that  made  her  turn  back.  She  re- 
membered that  she  had  not  stopped  to  see,  at  the  very  last 
moment,  whether  or  not  he  was  breathing.  Supposing  — 
that  he  had  drugged  himself,  taken  an  over-dose,  perhaps 
—  would  she  not  be  accused,  if  they  found  him  dead  ? 

This  thought  sent  her  back  in  a  frenzy  of  fear  and  in- 
decision. She  crept  back  to  the  room,  and  nearly  flung 


364  Hagar  Revelly 

herself  upon   Greenfield's  breast  to  listen  to   his  heart. 

Though  his  snoring  was  stopped,  he  was  breathing 
regularly  and  deeply. 

"  What  in  the  world  is  wrong  with  me  ?  "  she  ques- 
tioned aloud  of  herself,  wondering  if  at  the  last  moment 
she  was  losing  her  nerve. 

Again,  she  was  in  the  hall,  near  the  elevator,  when  she 
turned  back  a  second  time,  actually  deciding  that  it  was 
not  right,  to  her  conscience,  that  she  leave  him  without  a 
word  of  parting.  She  wanted  to  start  her  journey  with- 
out any  conscience  burdens. 

Hurrying  into  the  room,  she  scribbled  off  at  the  writ- 
ing desk,  a  note : 

"  I  am  leaving.  Goodbye.  You  should  never  have  deceived 
me  so;  it  might  have  gone  on  all  right,  otherwise.  But  it's  all 
over  now.  Anyway,  I  thank  you  for  the  money." 

"  That  will  teach  him  a  lesson,"  she  muttered  to  her- 
self. «  He'll  think  I  care." 

She  put  the  note  in  his  half-folded  fingers,  and  after 
an  instant  of  reflection,  which  ended  with  a  kiss  on  his 
forehead,  she  ran  out  of  the  room. 

At  ten  o'clock  the  big  steamer  was  groaning  its  passage 
through  the  waves,  out  into  the  open  bay,  while  Hagar, 
alone  in  the  confines  of  her  gloomy  little  cabin,  was  won- 
dering why  she  felt  so  unhappy. 

But  her  feet  were  keeping  accurate  time  with  the  in- 
harmonious measures  that  came  down  to  her  from  the 
German  band  on  the  upper  deck. 


CHAPTER  XXIX 

HAGAR'S  trip  across  the  ocean  was  a  dull  affair.  For 
four  days  on  end,  rain  and  dripping  fog  submerged  the 
ship  and  its  passengers  in  a  heavy  gloom.  Then  a  period 
of  rough  weather  followed,  quite  as  unrelenting  in  its 
pursuit  of  the  plodding  steamer. 

On  the  afternoon  of  the  fifth  day,  she  attempted  to 
go  into  the  larger  salon,  but  a  spell  of  sea-sickness  pro- 
hibited this  diversion.  Until  the  day  they  were  entering 
port,  then,  she  lay  in  her  little  cabin  —  feeling  that  she 
would  die  of  inertia  and  illness,  unless  calm  weather 
came. 

When  she  stepped  out  upon  the  upper  deck  for  the 
first  time,  she  was  pale-faced  and  weak.  And  after  half  an 
hour,  illness  compelled  her  to  go  back  to  her  bunk  again. 
As  she  lay  there,  gazing  dully  at  the  wooden  bottom  of  the 
unoccupied  berth  above  her,  she  felt  lonelier  and  more 
forsaken  than  she  had  been  for  many  months.  It  seemed 
that  some  one  were  punishing  her  for  being  so  antici- 
pative  of  this  trip  to  Paris. 

However,  late  in  the  afternoon,  her  feelings  improved 
so  much  that  she  dressed  and  again  went  upon  the  deck. 

And  now  was  brought  some  color  into  the  unceasing 
array  of  drab. 

The  deck  was  slippery,  and  as  she  stepped  out  upon 
it  from  the  narrow  doorway,  she  might  haVe  fallen  had 
not  some  one  at  her  elbow  caught  her  by  the  arm  and 
steadied  her. 

Then  her  rescuer  said :     "  It's  a  head  wind,  and  the 

deck  is  like  a  skating  rink." 

365 


366  Hagar  Revelly 

When  she  had  recovered  from  her  momentary  fright, 
she  responded  to  the  man's  courteous  assistance.  Look- 
ing at  him  with  a  smile,  she  said,  very  softly :  "  You 
are  very  kind.  I  really  might  have  hurt  myself." 

He  tipped  his  cap  to  her  and  started  off  in  company 
of  two  others  who  had  stood  by  waiting  for  him. 

On  the  promenade  that  lasted  for  nearly  an  hour,  the 
man  passed  her  a  dozen  times,  with  his  eyes  speaking 
acquaintanceship  each  time  as  he  passed.  When  she  sat 
down  to  rest  in  one  of  the  deck  chairs,  it  was  only  a  mo- 
ment before  he  was  by  her  side. 

"Do  you  feel  all  right?"  he  askecl. 

"  Oh,  yes.     I  didn't  hurt  myself,"  she  replied. 

Rather  hesitatingly,  he  went  on :  "  It's  cold  for  this 
time  of  the  year,  isn't  it?  " 

"  Yes,  it  is,"  she  responded  kindly. 

While  Hagar  felt  inwardly  pleased  that  some  one  had 
come  along  to  whom  she  could  talk,  the  man  was  actually 
startled  to  find  such  beauty  in  his  discovery.  Her  pale, 
soft  face,  outlined  so  enticingly  through  the  folds  of  her 
filmy  white  veil,  and  her  chin  buried  deep  in  the  grey  furs, 
gave  her  an  appearance  of  piquant  charm  and  grace  that 
held  him  speechless. 

For  a  moment  he  stood  silently  at  her  side.  "  You 
must  have  just  got  on  the  boat,"  he  then  managed  to  say, 
with  a  broad  smile.  "  I  haven't  seen  you  until  to-day." 
As  he  settled  himself  into  the  chair  by  her  side,  he  added : 
"  I  guess  that  is  my  misfortune." 

"  Probably  just  the  opposite,"  she  laughed  back,  in  a 
gay,  soft  musical  tone. 

Before  a  half  hour  had  passed,  the  man  at  her  side  was 
looking  into  her  eyes  and  telling  her,  with  silent  messages 
from  his  own,  of  all  the  ardour  and  affection  that  lay  in 
his  being. 

It  was. just  as  the  bugle  was  sounding  for  dinner,  that 


Hagar  Revelly  367 

he  in  a  very  casual  way,  asked  if  her  husband  would  be  at 
the  dock  to  meet  her. 

"  Why,  do  you  think  I'm  married  ?  "  questioned  Hagar. 

"  Oh,  you  are  alone." 

"  You  should  be  more  discerning,"  said  she.  "  Any- 
way, if  you  will  look  on  the  register,  you  will  see  that  I 
am  still  a  Miss." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,"  he  laughed. 

Then  she  said:  "Oh,  I  am  just  running  over  to  buy 
some  things.  I  am  quite  alone." 

Her  reply  very  evidently  pleased  him. 

"Where  do  you  intend  stopping,  if  I  may  ask?"  he 
ventured. 

"  Why,  I  really  don't  know.     Where  is  a  good  place?  " 

Hagar  had  forgotten  that  discretion  was  necessary  on 
this  broad  highway.  Perhaps  she  cared  very  little  about 
it.  And  the  man,  being  a  denizen  of  the  world,  misunder- 
stood her  credulity  for  the  subterfugic  innocence  of  the 
adventuress.  Though  his  tones  lost  none  of  their  gal- 
lantry, his  manner  changed. 

"  I'm  going  to  the  Meurice,"  he  said  blandly.  "  Go 
there  and  register,  and  I'll  look  you  up  for  dinner.  We'll 
do  Maxim's  afterwards."  He  looked  into  her  face. 
"How's  that?" 

"  I  think  that  will  be  very  nice,"  she  replied. 

"  My  name  is  Morgan  Best  —  in  case  we  should  miss 
each  other,"  he  added. 

Hagar  was  leaving  the  tender  the  next  morning,  before 
she  asked  herself  if  she  should  have  done  differently. 
However,  she  felt  rather  happy  about  it,  and  realized  that 
a  terrible  lonesomeness  would  have  assailed  her,  had  she 
not  some  one  whom  she  knew,  awaiting  her. 

The  ride  through  the  open  country  was  very  tedious 
and  hot,  and  it  was  night  before  she  reached  Paris. 

She  could  hardly  realize  that  she  was  actually  in  Paris, 


368  Hagar  Revelly 

Her  dreams,  her  most  avaricial  fancies  had  taken  a  def- 
inite form,  had  come  true ;  a  new  vista  was  open  to  her, 
whose  horizon  was  beyond  a  distance  to  which  her  mind's 
eye  could  carry  her. 

A  porter  placed  her  bag  beside  her  in  a  fiacre,  and  the 
vehicle  started  off. 

Sitting  motionless  in  the  little  carriage,  her  body  bent 
forward,  her  feet  propped  up  on  the  cushioned  seat  op- 
posite, her  fingers  clasping  and  unclasping  regularly,  she 
became  lost  in  the  strangeness  of  her  surroundings.  As 
she  passed  through  the  narrow  streets,  with  its  rows  upon 
rows  of  iron-shuttered  windows,  fear  and  anticipation  be- 
came intermingled  in  her.  The  voices  of  the  passers-by, 
the  clatter  of  the  horses'  hoofs  on  the  wet  pavement, 
seemed  to  breathe  to  her  an  air  of  romance,  or  of  mystery. 

There  was  invitation  in  the  fog-bedecked  entrances  of 
every  passing  cafe,  she  clothed  in  garments  of  unreality 
every  .petty  gar9on,  every  newswoman  on  the  street  cor- 
ner. Overawed,  exultant,  and  again  queerly  saddened, 
she  sat  on  the  worn  cushion  seat  until  she  reached  the 
front  entrance  of  the  Hotel  Meurice,  which  like  some 
gaunt  shadowy  silhouette,  confronted  her  in  the  fog. 

For  a  minute  there  was  some  excitement;  more  porters 
than  necessary  helped  her  from  the  carriage;  the  sump- 
tuousness  of  the  corridor  bewildered  her.  But  it  was  a 
relief  to  find  that  every  one  spoke  English.  After  a 
moment,  it  took  even  a  stretch  of  her  imagination  for  her 
to  realize  that  she  was  not  in  the  Astor  or  the  Waldorf. 

Hagar  had  already  bathed  and  dressed,  and  was  lying 
upon  the  bed,  when  the  telephone  gave  a  short,  emphatic 
ring. 

She  jumped  up  and  took  the  trumpet-like  instrument 
from  off  its  hook,  a  little  puzzled  to  know  which  end  she 
should  put  to  her  ear. 

"  Yes,  hello !  "  she  cried. 


Hagar  llevelly  369 

"  Well,  Miss  Revelly,  you  see  your  boatman  is  prompt." 

How  thankful  she  felt  to  hear  the  voice  of  someone  she 
knew. 

When  they  met  in  the  ladies'  parlor,  the  man  seemed 
quite  like  an  old  friend. 

For  supper  they  tried  Marguery's,  and  afterwards, 
sought  a  weird  Cafe  Chantant  in  the  Latin  Quarter. 

But  somehow,  the  evening  moved  along  sluggishly. 
She  felt  moody  and  tired,  while  a  thousand  thoughts 
bothered  her.  At  midnight,  when  he  proposed  Maxim's,, 
she  asked  that  he  take  her  back  to  the  hotel.  And 
the  man,  disappointed,  even  a  bit  disgusted  to  think  he 
had  anticipated  so  full  an  evening,  and  gathered  so  little, 
was  quite  willing  to  follow  her  bidding. 

"I'm  sorry  we  rubbed  the  wrong  way,"  he  said,  as  he 
seated  himself  beside  her  in  the  cab. 

"  I  am,  too,"  she  replied  wearily.  "  I  don't  know  what's 
wrong." 

"  I  guess  you're  tired." 

"  I  suppose  that's  it." 

But  when  they  reached  the  hotel,  with  its  brilliant 
lights  reflected  between  the  rows  of  marble  columns,  she 
became  more  animated  again.  It  showed  in  her  eyes,  and 
he  noticed  it. 

"  I'll  tell  you  what  we'll  do,"  he  said,  as  if  taken  by  a 
sudden  idea.  "  I've  got  a  parlor,  so  it's  all  right  with 
the  hotel,  and  you  just  come  up.  We'll  have  a  glass  of 
wine  and  a  cigarette.  I  can  look  over  the  whole  Tuileries 
Gardens  from  my  room.  Will  you  ?  " 

She  thought  for  a  moment.  Somehow^  she  felt  no 
affection  for  this  man.  The  evening  had  bored  her.  So 
what  sense  was  there  in  prolonging  it?  She  answered; 
"  No,  I  think  I'll  go  to  bed.  See  you  to-morrow." 

"  As  you  say,"  he  replied. 

However,  when  she  reached  her  room  and  realized  the 


370  Hagar  Revelly 

loneliness,  and  saw  with  a  startling  understanding  that 
she  had  not  an  acquaintance  or  friend  in  Paris  beside  this 
man,  she  decided  upon  a  change  of  her  plans. 

The  strange  noises  that  came  up  from  the  street,  and 
the  queer  babble  of  the  maids  and  bell  boys  from  the  hall- 
way, seemed  to  emphasize  her  lonesomeness. 

She  reasoned  for  only  a  moment,  before  she  threw  an 
opera  cape  over  her  shoulders  and  went  down  into  the 
restaurant. 

"  Bring  me  a  bottle  of  wine,"  she  told  the  English- 
speaking  waiter. 

"  Would  Madame  desire  a  dry  wine,  or  perhaps  a  sweet 
champagne?  " 

"  Oh,  bring  me  anything  you  want,"  she  hurled  at  him 
— "  Pommery  —  I  guess." 

The  waiter  paused  to  again  question  her,  but  she 
waved  him  off. 

That  night  the  degree  of  Hagar's  understanding  took 
a  new  plunge.  For  nearly  the  first  time,  she  saw  the 
exact  meaning  that  had  come  with  the  past  month.  She 
was  getting  older,  and  what  had  she  accomplished?  She 
couldn't  count  as  very  much  gained  the  small  amount  of 
money  Greenfield  had  given  her.  After  all,  that  was  only 
an  episode.  And  at  hand  was  there  not  just  the  begin- 
ning of  one  more  episode,  alike  in  every  detail,  to  the  one 
with  Kettle,  or  perhaps  with  Greenfield?  There  was 
nothing  sure  about  her  future,  if  she  went  on  like  this. 
And  since  she  didn't  dare  go  back  to  Greenfield,  who  else 
would  there  be  after  this  man?  What  else  was  there  to 
do  anyway? 

Immersed  in  her  self-interrogation,  Hagar  was  startled 
to  find  Morgan  Best  standing  at  her  elbow. 

"  You  look  like  you'd  lost  your  best  friend,"  he  com- 
mented. "  Come  now,  what's  wrong?  I  thought  you'd 
be  deep  asleep  by  now."  He  looked  at  his  watch.  "  And 


Hagar  Itevelly  371 

here  I  find  you  drinking  wine  —  alone.  What's  the 
matter?  " 

"  Oh,  I'm  lonesome,"  she  answered  suddenly. 

"  That's  pretty  good,"  he  laughed.  "  You  dismissed 
me  half  an  hour  ago." 

"  I  know  it.  I  wanted  to  go  to  bed.  But  I  couldn't 
stand  it  up  there.  Oh,  I  don't  know  what's  wrong." 

He  drew  up  a  chair  to  the  table,  and  beckoned  to  the 
waiter  for  a  menu. 

"  You  poor  child,"  he  said  kindly.  "  If  you  had  been 
in  this  town  as  much  as  I  have,  you'd  know  what's  wrong. 
There  are  too^many  people  around  that  seem  gay.  That's 
it.  That  always  makes  one  think  they  are  less  happy 
than  anyone  else." 

He  laid  the  card  down  upon  the  table,  with  some 
finality.  "I'm  going  to  cheer  you  up.  I'm  going  to 
make  you  go  over  to  Maxim's  and  then  to  the  Bal  Taberin 
—  and  if  that  won't  do  it,  we'll  take  a  ride  in  the  Bois  by 
moonlight." 

He  had  such  a  decisive  way  with  him  that  Hagar  gave 
in.  It  was  past  four  o'clock  in  the  morning,  when  she 
flung  herself  into  bed,  after  a  round  of  seemingly  every 
cafe  in  town.  Best  was  a  very  pleasant  fellow,  after  all, 
and  did  not  in  any  way  show  a  desire  to  become  more  than 
passingly  friendly  or  intimate. 

Hagar  saw  him  every  day  for  nearly  a  week.  It  was 
something  new  to  her  understanding,  to  find  a  man  ap- 
parently satisfied  to  dine  with  her,  and  yet  not  show  a 
desire  for  greater  acquaintance.  Only  at  times  did  she 
feel  that  her  innocent  manner  was  making  him  hesitate. 

But  one  night,  after  they  had  been  gayer  than  usual, 
he  grasped  her  in  his  arms  and  told  her  that  he  loved  her, 
at  the  same  time  proposing  that  they  dine  together  in  his 
room  —  to  which  she  consented  after  a  good  deal  of 
reluctance. 


372  Hagar  Revelly 

"  And  I  want  you  to  wear  something  soft  —  and  blue," 
he  told  her.  "  We'll  have  the  evening  all  to  ourselves." 

Full  of  anticipation,  Best  arranged  an  elaborate  menu 
for  the  next  night.  He  told  himself  that  his  patience 
would  be  rewarded. 

His  chagrin  was  deep,  therefore,  when  on  the  next  day, 
about  an  hour  before  the  time  of  Hagar's  coming,  the 
telephone  operator  announced  a  visitor. 

It  was  a  blow.  The  man  was  an  old  friend  from 
America,  whom  he  had  not  expected  until  the  following 
day.  It  seemed  difficult  to  tell  him  that  he  could  not  see 
him  until  to-morrow,  and  when  Miller  Jarvis  came  into  the 
room  and  grasped  his  friend's  hand,  Best  was  quite  deter- 
mined not  to  be  robbed  of  his  evening's  pleasure. 

But  the  man  was  so  sober  and  serious  looking,  Best 
faltered  in  his  purpose  for  sometime. 

He  was  fairly  tall,  perhaps  five  feet  ten  or  eleven,  but 
his  height  was  accentuated  by  a  certain  gauntness  of 
body;  though  he  was  not  bony,  there  still  lurked  in  his 
frame  some  hidden  strength,  some  strange  definiteness  of 
purpose  that  became  immediately  apparent  —  a  direct 
contrast  to  the  suave  manner  of  Best.  His  dark  eyes, 
rather  thin  lips,  and  wide,  high  forehead,  gave  to  his 
whole  appearance  a  sense  of  mystery  and  dignity,  that 
put  Best,  who  had  not  seen  him  in  some  years,  ill  at  ease. 

"  Well,  well,  Miller,  how  are  you  ?  "  Best  cried,  study- 
ing him.  "  How  are  you?  " 

Jarvis  greeted  him  very  friendly,  although  he  seemed 
uncomfortable  as  Best's  debonair  manner  became  more 
apparent. 

For  half  an  hour  they  exchanged  stored  up  confidences, 
and  went  over  with  eagerness,  on  the  part  of  Best,  and, 
evident  seriousness  on  his  friend's  side,  the  discussion  of 
past  escapades. 


Hagar  Revelly  373 

While  they  were  talking,  Miller  told  how  his  sister  had 
met  death  by  some  accident ;  a  little  huskily,  he  said : 

"  It  was  hard  to  bear,  Morgan.  She  was  the  only 
woman  in  my  life,  for  whom  I  ever  cared  a  straw." 

"  Why  haven't  you  married  in  the  long  stretch  of 
time?  "  asked  Best. 

Miller  replied :  "  They  don't  want  an  old  codger  like 
me,  my  friend."  As  he  spoke,  he  regarded  Best's  well- 
dressed  figure.  "  They  want  an  Apollo  like  you,  Morgan, 
and  some  soft-spoken  words  in  their  ears  —  they  want  to 
be  told  of  the  humming  birds  that  flutter  in  the  gardens 
of  Elysee,  and  all  that.  I  never  was  a  good  hand  at  that 
sort  of  thing.  Anyway  they  don't  want  a  cowboy  for  a 
husband." 

"  You'll  get  caught,  however,"  commented  Best,  "  be- 
cause you  believe  in  marriage.  I  think  you'd  like  to  be 
harnessed." 

"  What  makes  you  think  that?  " 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know.  You  seem  so  serious  now.  I 
wonder  what's  happened?  "  Best  wondered  too,  if  now 
was  the  time  to  inform  his  friend  of  his  inopportune  en- 
gagement. 

The  man  laughed.  "  Oh,  Montana  is  trying  to  send 
me  to  Congress.  That's  enough  to  make  any  person 
serious." 

"  Then  you'll  have  to  get  married,"  said  Morgan. 

"  How  about  you?  "  asked  Jarvis. 

"  Oh,  I  never  will.  I'm  too  fond  of  my  freedom.  I 
woudn't  marry  the  prettiest,  cleverest  woman  in  the  world 
—  for  about  five  years,  anyway.  But  you  are  different, 
Miller,"  he  added.  "  I  think  it  would  do  a  lot  for  you  — 
make  you  President  of  the  United  States,  or  something 
like  that." 

They  both  laughed  heartily  at  Morgan's  statement. 


374»  Hagar  Revelly 

"  All  right,  I'll  marry  then,  for  political  reasons,"  said 
Miller,  taking  a  cigar  that  Best  offered  him. 

And  now  Best  undertook  to  tell  his  friend  of  the  small 
dinner  party  that  had  been  planned. 

He  painted  in  lurid  words  the  expected  outcome  of  the 
affair. 

"  She's  a  strange  creature,"  he  went  on,  "  and  the 
remarkable  part  of  it  is,  that  we  are  going  to  have  this 
little  tete-a-tete  when  I  haven't  done  more  than  take  a 
harmless  kiss  from  her  forehead.  But  to-night,  my, 
friend  .  .  ." 

His  ecstasies  ceased  as  a  knock  on  the  door  announced 
the  coming  of  a  fat-black-haired  gar9on,  with  the  advance 
guard  of  linen  and  silver. 

After  he  had  left,  Morgan  continued :  "  But  I'm  in  a 
quandary  about  you.  It  seems  a  shame  for  us  not  to  be 
together  your  first  night  in  Paris,  and  I  know  it  would 
queer  things  if  you  stayed  very  long.  It  would  get  late, 
you  know  — " 

'*  How  foolish  you  talk,"  Jarvis  interrupted,  at  the 
same  time  taking  hold  of  his  hat  and  gloves.  "  I'll  go  to 
my  room.  I've  got  a  lot  of  letters  to  write.  Surely  you 
need  not  worry  about  me." 

But  Best  insisted,  after  a  moment's  hesitation,  that  he 
stay  for  dinner.  He  could  make  his  exit  after  the  little 
feast,  and  it  would  be  quite  the  same. 

After  much  argument,  Miller  agreed  to  stay.  Best 
seemed  rather  proud  now  that  he  should  have  the  chance 
of  meeting  Hagar.  "  She  is  a  radiant  beauty,  old  man," 
he  said.  "  I  really  do  want  you  to  see  her." 

So  it  was  that  Hagar  found  the  two  men  awaiting  her 
in  the  soft  twilight  of  the  little  parlor,  and  as  she  per- 
ceived the  second  figure,  she  gave  a  sudden  start,  and 
paused,  with  downcast  eyes.  She  had  dressed  as  Morgan 
wished. 


Hagar  Revelly  875 

A  long,  clinging  robe  of  smooth,  blue  material,  partly 
veiled  by  a  silvery  beaded  shawl  about  her  shoulders, 
made  her  seem  as  nearly  ephemeral  as  the  moon's  rays 
that  came  in  through  the  square,  paned  doors,  leading  on 
to  the  balcony.  At  her  breast,  a  small  cluster  of  violets, 
threw  into  daring  relief  the  paleness  of  her  face,  and  the 
lustre  of  her  black  hair. 

Best  saw  her  hesitate  and  quickly  rose  to  greet  her. 

As  he  grasped  her  hands,  he  said :  "  You  are  so  good 
to  come." 

Then  he  turned  to  his  friend.  "  Miss  Revelly  —  Mr. 
Miller  Jarvis,  an  old  friend  that  I  knew  in  the  West,  in 
my  camping  days." 

Hagar  bowed  and  smiled  gently.  But  there  was  in  her 
a  great  feeling  of  anger  and  rebellion.  What  was  this 
man  doing?  Why  had  Morgan  kept  him?  Was  it  to 
show  her  off? 

Dimly  conscious,  however,  that  Best  was  watching  her 
and  waiting  for  an  answer,  she  said,  as  sweetly  as 
possible,  "  I'm  so  glad  to  meet  you,  Mr.  Jarvis." 

The  meal  was  set  upon  a  small  table,  placed  near  the 
large  double  windows.  And  after  their  cigarettes  and 
cordial,  Best  drew  up  to  the  window  a  large  cushioned 
divan. 

"  Let  us  sit  here  and  look  out  of  the  window,"  he 
said. 

Then  a  very  strange  thing  happened.  Hagar's  eyes 
were  fastened  on  Morgan's  friend,  and  try  as  she  could, 
there  was  something  about  the  man's  strong  face  that 
made  it  impossible  for  her  to  change  her  glances.  All 
through  the  dinner,  she  had  listened  with  interest  to  his 
soft,  low-spoken  words,  and  his  stories  about  hardships 
and  endurance.  And  now,  when  he  arose  to  go,  she  dis- 
turbed Morgan  Best  by  her  strenuous  objections.  "  I 
wish  you  would  stay,"  she  begged  directly  of  Jarvis,  while 


376  Hagar  Revelly 

Best,  who  was  arranging  the  divan  with  pillows,  began  to 
see  the  possible  outcome  of  his  blithe  anticipations. 

For  a  moment  he  realized  that  there  was  hardly  a  way 
out  of  it.  For  each  excuse,  made  by  Miller,  was  met  by 
a  strange  impetuous  demand  on  Hagar's  part  that  he 
stay. 

"  Yes,  I  want  you  to  stay,"  she  said  firmly.  "  Of 
course  you're  not  spoiling  the  evening.  Mr.  Best  wants 
you,  too."  She  called  to  Morgan :  "  Don't  you  ?  " 

What  could  he  say?  Resignedly,  lost  in  a  peculiar 
contemplation  of  the  person  whom  he  had  looked  upon  as 
a  woman  of  the  world,  Best  submitted. 
.  That  night,  Hagar  lay  awake  until  the  vegetable  carts, 
with  their  loads  of  Paris  rations,  rattled  through  the 
streets. 

She  couldn't  understand  what  had  come  over  her. 
With  each  spoken  word  of  this  tall,  thin  man,  she  had  felt 
a  yearning  for  quiet  and  peace,  that  puzzled  her. 

He  seemed  to  fill  her  with  a  desire  to  be  good.  In  her 
imagination  she  pictured  herself  being  taken  care  of  by 
some  one  like  him,  and  living  quietly,  and  trying  to  make 
him  happy.  A  man  like  Jarvis  could  give  her  a  home,  and 
take  away  all  the  little  worries. 

Somehow,  all  in  the  instant,  she  decided  to  win  him. 
A  new  free  life,  people  who  would  know  nothing  about 
Greenfield  or  Herrick  —  what  a  chance! 

As  she  lay  dozing,  Hagar  offered  up  a  dozen  prayers, 
because  Best  knew  nothing  of  her  former  life,  and  had  not 
entered  upon  any  intimacy  with  her  in  their  short  ac- 
quaintance. 

The  next  day  she  met  Morgan  Best  in  the  lobby,  and 
he  questioned  her  closely.  He  was  somewhat  angry,  and 
in  the  queer  vernacular  of  the  worldly  man,  told  her  she 
had  "  gone  back  "  on  him. 

Hagar  made  no  direct  reply  to  his  accusation,  but  after 


Hagar  Revelly  377 

a  moment  of  hesitant  self-questioning,  said  to  him  in  a 
low  whisper  that  very  much  startled  him :  "  I  have  fallen 
in  love  with  your  friend." 

"  You  have  —  fallen  —  in  love  with  him !  " 

"  Yes,"  she  replied  bravely. 

He  looked  at  her  curiously. 

"  Well,  you're  a  funny  child." 

"  I'm  sorry.     I  can't  help  it,"  she  answered  slowly. 

A  little  quizzically,  Best  said:  "But,  I  can't  under- 
stand. You  mean  you're  seriously  in  love  with  him? 
He's  old  enough  to  be  your  father." 

"  I  can't  help  that.  I  don't  know  what  it  is.  I  never 
felt  for  anyone  else  the  way  I  do  for  him." 

Best  laughed.     "  Well,  I  suppose  I  must  tell  him,  then?  " 

"  If  you  want  to,"  she  answered.  "  If  you  don't  I 
suppose  I  will."  Then  she  went  on :  "  It's  no  use  for  me 
to  explain.  You  wouldn't  understand.  You  look  at 
women  as  we  do  —  well,  our  powder-puffs,  for  instance. 
Use  us,  and  then  when  you  get  what  you  want,  put  us 
back  in  our  little  boxes  for  some  other  time.  He's  dif- 
ferent. Oh,  if  you  only  knew  how  sick  I  am  of  all  of 
it!" 

"  Supposing,  little  one,"  the  man  said,  half  tauntingly, 
"  that  he  doesn't  care  for  you  ?  " 

"  I'll  make  him  care  for  me,"  she  replied  decisively. 

That  evening,  when  he  met  Miller  for  dinner,  Morgan 
Best  told  him  all  that  had  happened. 

"  She's  fallen  in  love  with  you,  old  man,"  he  said 
resignedly. 

Miller  laughed  boyishly. 

"But  she  has,  all  right." 

"Well,  I'll  have  to  get  her  out  of  the  notion,  I 
suppose." 

"  Why  not  go  ahead?  "  suddenly  thought  Best. 

"Why?     Because  she's  your  lady,  I  guess." 


378  Hagar  Revelly 

Only  after  a  time  was  Miller  convinced  that  Hagar 
was  in  earnest  with  her  sudden  avowal. 

They  both  laughed  about  it,  but  the  next  morning, 
when  Miller  was  alone  in  his  room,  he  thought  of  Hagar 
and  himself,  and  of  his  life  so  devoid  of  the  diversions  of 
other  men. 

At  night  he  took  Hagar  to  dinner,  and,  in  his  presence, 
found  she  was  a  transformed  being.  She  was  demure, 
eager,  nai've,  petulant,  like  a  child.  Every  move  of  her 
hand,  every  gesture,  spoke  of  innocence. 

"  I  wouldn't  know  you  to-night,"  he  said  to  her  kindly. 
"  You're  so  different.  Mr.  Best  said  "  —  he  hesitated, 
wondering  why  he  could  not  word  his  thought  differently 
— "  that  you  would  be  glad  —  to  go  to  dinner  with  me." 

"  He  told  you  the  truth,"  she  stammered,  while  her 
dark  eyes  rested  on  him. 

He  searched  her  face  in  turn. 

"Little  girl,"  he  hesitated,  "you  wouldn't  find  any 
fun  with  a  sad  lot  like  me." 

Had  she  not  controlled  herself,  she  would  have  burst 
out  into  a  wild  depiction  of  her  longings,  of  her  desire 
to  lead  a  new  life.  But  she  saw  this  would  necessitate  a 
confession  of  her  past.  So  she  contented  herself  with 
the  simple  statement  that  she  liked  very  much  his  grave 
manner. 

They  had  a  quiet,  pleasant  evening  together,  and  on 
parting,  the  same  wild  beatings  in  her  heart,  and  the 
strange  thoughts  and  resolves  in  her  mind,  were  still 
with  her. 

After  Hagar  left  him,  Jarvis  went  upstairs  to  Best's 
room. 

"  Well,  did  you  have  a  good  talk  to-night  ? "  asked 
Best. 

"  I  found  her  a  charming  little  woman,"  Miller  an- 
swered. 


Hagar  Revelly  379 

"She  is  an  interesting  sort,  isn't  she?"  Best  looked 
quizzically  at  Miller,  then  went  on :  "  In  all  the  time  I've 
known  her,  she  hasn't  so  much  as  given  me  a  Hiss,  volun- 
tarily." He  spoke  with  a  knowing  air.  "  But  I  know 
she  goes  in  for  that  sort  of  thing.  You  can't  tell  me  she 
doesn't.  She  must  have  suddenly  determined  to  be  good, 
I  guess  —  change  her  game,  or  something  along  that  line. 
Why,  I  never  saw  any  one  act  so  contrary  to  first  im- 
pressions." He  reflected  a  moment,  saying  half  to  him- 
self, "  And  I  told  her  a  story  about  my  not  thinking  of 
getting  married.  So,  she  couldn't  have  had  a  plan  like 
that  in  her  mind  with  me." 

"  Maybe  you  don't  understand  women,"  Miller  an- 
swered. 

"  Maybe.  At  least,  I  knew  I  couldn't  let  her  under- 
stand that  I  was  even  suspicious.  I  know  this  much:  a 
man  can't  let  a  woman  know  that  he  understands  her.  If 
he  does,  she  will  never  have  in  him  after  that  a  place  of 
refuge  for  her  vanities.  That  means  life  to  most  women." 

"You  do  know  women,  don't  you?  With  your  knowl- 
edge you  ought  to  have  a  lot  of  them  falling  to  their 
knees  for  you." 

"  You  know  me  better  than  that.  But  there  is  no  reason 
why  this  girl  should  not  be  more  true  to  herself.  Why, 
you  ought  to  have  seen  how  wise  she  was  on  the  boat. 
She  didn't  even  know  the  name  of  a  hotel  in  Paris." 

"  Maybe  that  was  innocence,"  Miller  protested. 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know  —  I  don't  know.  At  least,  since 
you  have  come  on  the  scene,  something  has  determined 
her  to  land  you.  Maybe  it  is  the  family  in  financial  dif- 
ficulties." 

"And  if  there  is?" 

"  Well,  that's  her  game,  then.  She's  determined  to 
land  something  over  here.  It  wouldn't  be  the  first  time 
such  a  thing  happened  in  Paris." 


380  Hagar  Revelly 

Miller  smiled.  "  You  don't  know  her.  Your  life  has 
been  too  superficial,  Morgan.  All  of  us  have  the  right  to 
our  ideals,  and  their  fulfilment.  I've  had  mine,"  he  went 
on  reminiscently. 

"  Yes,  work  your  head  off,  get  old  for  an  ambition,  and 
when  you  will  get  it,  you  will  have  lost  all  ability  to 
enjoy  it." 

"  Which  may  be  true.  But  if  I  lived  your  life  I'd  go 
crazy,  realizing  that  each  day  had  been  only  a  selfish  one 
for  amusement.  No,  I  believe  I've  solved  the  problem; 
the  joke  of  life  is  too  great  —  too  colossal,  to  look  at  it 
in  a  whimsical  fashion." 

"  You  are  too  serious,  Miller,"  remarked  Best. 

«  We've  got  to  be  serious  to  get  on,"  Miller  continued. 
"  I  believe  the  whole  secret  is  in  finding  serious  expression 
for  our  inner  motives  and  yearnings." 

They  were  silent  for  a  time,  Best  remaining  in  his  chair 
by  the  little  smoking  table,  while  Miller  walked  over  to 
the  window,  and  glanced  down  on  to  the  street. 

As  he  leaned  slightly  over  the  window  ledge,  he  said: 
"  Morgan,  see  all  those  people  down  there  ?  Well,  I'm 
one  of  them,  and  if  I  lived  your  life,  I'd  feel  somehow  that 
I  was  cheating." 

"  Yes,  I  know  how  seriously  you  take  the  proletariat, 
Miller.  It  will  make  you  a  Senator  some  day,  if  you 
keep  it  up." 

"  No  matter  where  it  takes  me,  I'll  get  happiness  out 
of  it,"  exclaimed  Miller,  leaving  the  window  for  the 
moment  and  coming  over  to  the  smoking  table. 

"  Why,  you  don't  know  how  friendless  people  really  are. 
They  have  no  one  to  be  sad  about,  except  themselves,  and 
they  don't  have  enough  understanding  to  fake  to  them- 
selves an  appreciation  for  inadequate  objects.  Yes,  I 
feel  the  thing,  and  if  I  get  a  little  saddened  by  doing  so, 
it  is  only  because  my  own  good  luck  and  happiness  are 


Hagar  Revelly  381 

emphasized  by  their  misfortune.  It's  enough  to  make 
any  one  humble." 

"  How  about  the  women  down  there,  who  are  walking 
the  streets?  I  suppose  you  have  a  bond  of  friendship 
for  them,  too  ?  " 

"  Poor  little  creatures,  most  of  them  are  mentally 
more  virtuous  than  their  sisters  who  promenade  the  Bois 
on  Sunday  mornings." 

"  I  don't  understand,"  exclaimed  Best,  now  really  in- 
terested for  the  first  time  in  his  friend's  half  soliloquy. 
"  You  think  them  virtuous  ?  " 

"  Virtue  and  purity  are  names  that  are  not  understood. 
Is  not  the  girl  of  seventeen  who  loves,  and  loving,  gives, 
at  the  height  of  her  purity?  You  will  say  she  was  — 
before,  perhaps ;  but  I  tell  you  virtue  is  not  like  a  piece  of 
rubber  that  you  may  stretch,  and  give  the  different  angles 
different  names.  Oh,  no,  the  virtuous  woman  is  always 
virtuous  —  virtue  is  not  an  affair  of  the  body,  it's  an 
affair  of  the  mind.  It's  only  the  degree  of  suffering  that 
differs." 

"  You  mean  virtue  and  truth  are  the  same  ?  " 

"  Yes.  Virtue,  purity  and  truth  have  the  same  mean- 
ing. The  woman  of  the  streets  is  ofttimes  of  greater 
purity  of  mind  than  the  clever  woman  who  hides  her 
throbbing  mental  subterfuges  behind  the  curtain  in  her 
boudoir.  And  these  lies  are  called  virtue  by  her  friends. 
Yes,  Morgan,  nowadays  it  is  only  hypocrisy  that  the 
world  calls  virtue." 

He  turned  to  his  friend,  who  had  been  listening  atten- 
tively to  his  preachment. 

"  Am  I  not  right  ?  "  he  asked  pointedly. 

"  Oh,  it  sounds  right  the  way  you  say  it  —  except  that 
you  are  too  sad  over  it,  and  life  is  too  short  for  that." 
He  sighed  deeply.  "  I  am  like  Gautier,  I  guess  —  not 
being  able  to  prolong  my  life  forever,  I'd  rather  die  of 


Hagar  Revelly 

pleasure  than  of  old  age.  Didn't  he  say  he  was  too  well 
acquainted  with  the  emptiness  of  everything  around  him 
to  be  eager  for  very  long  for  any  one  thing? 
Yes,  that's  the  way  I  feel  about  it.  Then,  what  is  the 
use  of  reasoning,  anyway?  Reason  is  only  an  argument 
to  keep  you  from  doing  what  you  most  want  to  do.  I 
just  stay  happy  —  if  I  can.  Some  day,  I  suppose  the 
cloistered  part  of  my  soul  will  go  careening  to  the  skies, 
with  the  rest  of  my  less  worthy  self,  just  the  same." 

"  And  so,  that's  your  mission  in  life,  is  it  ?  "  asked 
Miller. 

"  Oh,  well,  if  you  want  to  call  it  a  mission.  To  me  it 
seems  more  like  a  kind  of  philosophy  to  pull  one  through 
the  big  game.  However,  you  can  certainly  preach, 
Miller."  Best  walked  out  onto  the  little  balcony.  "  I 
don't  know  about  the  Senator  so  much,  now,"  he  called 
back.  "  You  ought  to  be  a  minister." 

Miller  waited  until  he  came  back  into  the  room,  then, 
rather  earnestly,  looked  directly  into  his  friend's  face. 
"  You  know,  Morgan,"  he  began,  "  if  I  told  you  what  my 
mission  was,  you'd  laugh  at  me.  And  yet  it  has  as  much 
philosophy  in  it  as  your  remark." 

"  Tell  me." 

"  Well,  it  is  a  strange  idea.  But  what  I  should  like  to 
do,  beyond  all  else,  would  be  to  make  people  less  happy. 
The  majority  of  people  are  too  gay,  too  happy  over 
trivialities.  I  would  make  them  see  the  tragic  environ- 
ment in  which  they  live,  make  them  think  and  understand, 
and  realize  the  situation  more  fully.  In  other  words, 
make  them  less  happy,  because  if  one  looks  at  the  per- 
spective of  life  without  any  studying  of  its  make-up,  one 
is  bound  to  be  unhappy. 

"  If  they  felt  this  way,  it  might  make  them  understand 
how  unstable  and  upon  what  flimsy  material  is  life  builded 
—  and  they  might  stop  to  thing  of  someone  else  beside 


Hagar  Revelly  383 

themselves,  might  stop  to  do  some  good  for  someone  else. 

"  Happiness  is  the  most  selfish  emotion  in  the  world. 
Every  other  emotion  that  you  may  name  takes  someone 
else  into  consideration ;  but  one  can  be  happy  quite  alone, 
even  over  the  misery  of  someone  else." 

"  You  are  thinking  of  me?  "  interjected  Best. 

"  No,  I'm  not.  Since  we  started  talking  on  this  sub- 
ject, I'm  only  voicing  my  attitude  towards  this  sort  of 
thing.  This  is  what  other  people  call  my  sadness,  I  sup- 
pose. But  I  am  only  trying  to  prove  to  you,  Morgan, 
that  it  is  the  only  real  kind  of  happiness  possible." 


CHAPTER  XXX 

HAGAR  saw  Miller  Jarvis  every  day  after  their  dinner 
together,  and  while  he  found  her  a  delightful  companion; 
without  any  great  amount  of  intellectual  store,  he  also 
saw  in  her  a  strange  gift  of  intuition,  which  always  put 
him  instantly  at  ease.  She  seemed  to  divine  his  thoughts 
nearly,  as  she  would  sit  and  listen  to  his  talk  with  wide- 
open  eyes.  Never  in  his  life  had  he  encountered  so  sym- 
pathetic a  companion.  He  was  actually  beginning  to 
grow  fond  of  her,  and  often  wished  he  could  return  the 
love  which  she  so  openly  confessed  for  him. 

However,  there  was  something  indescribable  that  de- 
terred him  from  having  absolute  confidence  in  her.  He 
could  not  word  the  thought,  and  would  even  feel  at  the 
moment,  that  he  was  doing  her  injustice;  but  a  half  dozen 
times  or  more,  when  he  had  been  studiously  silent,  gazing 
on  her  features,  he  would  see  a  sudden  change  come  over 
her  face,  a  transformation  in  every  line,  as  if  her  mask 
had  been  thrown  off.  And  in  these  moments,  he  would  see 
cruelty  and  bitterness,  instead  of  the  childish  trust,  which 
was  her  usual  expression. 

He  grew  to  watch  for  these  times,  and  it  was  not  long 
before  he  found  that  instead  of  becoming  more  infatuated 
with  her  innocence  and  goodness,  or  more  engrossed  by 
her  affection  for  him,  he  was  using  her  as  a  study,  or  a 
model,  for  the  solving  of  this  new  human  problem. 

The  days  passed  on  without  Hagar  making  any  great 
headway,  and  as  he  seemed  to  become  more  disinterested, 
she  decided  to  take  a  decisive  step. 

Instinctively  she  felt  that  he  was  doubting  her,  and 

384 


Hagar  Revelly  885 

though  he  continued  so  courteous,  and  showed  a  willing- 
ness to  be  with  her  constantly,  he  never  changed  his  treat- 
ment of  her  to  one  that  was  more  loverlike. 

"  Do  you  trust  me?  "  she  asked  him  one  evening. 

"  My  dear  child,"  he  answered,  "  of  course  I  do." 

"  And  you  know  I  am  —  just  the  way  I  am?  " 

He  looked  at  her  steadily.  "  I  don't  quite  under- 
stand." 

"  Oh,  I  mean  if  you  believe  in  me  ?  " 

"  Surely,  I  do." 

"  Then  why  do  you  act  so  kind  to  me  all  the  time,  and 
gentlemanly?  We've  been  together  enough." 

"  Well,"  he  replied  nervously,  "  you  are  alone  here  in 
Paris.  I'd  be  a  poor  sort,  wouldn't  I,  not  to  recognize 
that?" 

She  turned  the  subject  off  into  other  channels,  but  that 
night  she  stood  for  long  minutes  in  her  room,  saying  to 
herself,  "  So  that's  it."  He  had  realized  her  state  of  un- 
protection,  and  would  not  take  advantage  of  it.  For  a 
moment  it  made  her  angry  with  him.  Surely  he  was  more 
foolish  than  other  men. 

Then  she  thought  that  perhaps  he  doubted  her  on  the 
same  grounds.  Why  hadn't  she  thought  of  an  expla- 
nation before?  She  was,  indeed,  alone  in  Paris,  without  a 
friend  to  whom  she  could  introduce  him,  and  her  only  ex- 
cuse for  that  was  a  quest  for  some  gowns.  It  was  time, 
she  told  herself,  that  she  fixed  it  up. 

Up  to  this  period,  she  had  hardly  thought  of  Thatah. 
But  it  was  only  a  moment  later  that  she  sat  down  at  the 
desk,  and  with  a  controlled  desire  to  shout  for  happiness, 
impulsively  penned  off  a  letter  to  her  sister. 

Dear  Thatah: 

You  are  coming  to  join  me.  I  am  here  in  Paris,  Hotel 
Meurice,  as  you  see  above.  I  will  explain  when  I  see  you.  It 


386  Hagar  Revelly 

is  important  that  you  do  this,  Thatah.  I  am  in  too  big  a  hurry 
now  to  explain.  Only  you  must  come.  Bring  your  best  things 
—  and  be  prepared  to  stay  two  or  three  weeks.  I'll  meet  you 
here  at  the  station.  You  must  come,  you  must  —  it  is  the 
most  important  thing  that  has  ever  happened  to  me,  and  you'll 
be  as  happy  about  it  as  I  am.  I  wait  word  by  cable,  telling 
me  the  name  of  the  steamer. 

Your  affectionate  sister, 

HAGAR. 

P.S. —  As  soon  as  I  get  your  cable,  I'll  cable  back  $250. 
Get  a  dainty  tailored  suit  of  some  kind.  Spend  $75  on  it, 
and  take  the  first  steamer  you  can  get. 

That  night,  over  a  small,  ebony-hued  coffee  in  the  grill 
of  the  Meurice,  Hagar  quite  casually,  and  apparently 
most  undesignedly,  told  Miller  that  she  had  just  received 
word  that  her  sister,  who  at  the  last  moment  had  found  it 
impossible  to  join  her,  had  written  that  she  would  come 
over  in  a  few  weeks. 

"  You  can't  imagine  how  relieved  I'll  be  when  she 
comes,"  Hagar  explained.  "  When  I  came  over,  it  was  the 
first  time  in  my  life  I  was  ever  away  alone.  Why,  I  never 
came  up  on  deck  until  the  last  day,  I  was  that  frightened. 
Mr.  Best  can  tell  you." 

It  made  her  heart  cry  with  joy  when  she  perceived  a 
look  of  approval  spring  into  the  eyes  of  the  man  beside 
her. 


CHAPTER  XXXI 

WEARIED  by  the  continual  struggle,  Thatah  was  on  the 
verge  of  forsaking  the  unresponsive  idealism  to  which  she 
had  so  long  clung,  and  of  yielding  to  Graveur's  prosaic 
offer  of  marriage,  when  Hagar's  letter  came. 

She  had  felt  herself  a  creature  of  ill  fate  for  a  long 
time.  Through  all  her  observations  and  analysis  she 
could  see  no  loophole  of  escape,  no  possible  opportunity 
for  realization ;  all  was  drab,  the  usual  order  of  the  undi- 
versified,  monotonous ;  she  experienced  no  longer  the  mag- 
nified petty  emotions.  Hagar's  letter  found  her  tired, 
calloused,  complaisant,  and  willing  to  bend  her  head  in 
submission. 

How  it  hurt  her  to  realize  this  no  one  knew.  Even  the 
passing  of  one  day  into  the  next,  which  had  always 
brought  her  such  poignant  unhappiness,  troubled  her 
very  little  now.  She  did  not  love  Graveur  at  all,  though 
there  was  a  certain  comfort  in  knowing  he  cared  for  her. 
When  she  realized  that  instead  of  excitement  and  happi- 
ness, she  was  looking  forward  now  only  to  being  com- 
fortable, she  would  shut  her  eyes  to  it,  and  reason  that 
she  had  no  right  to  expect  anything  more  from  life. 
Every  woman,  she  decided,  must  come  to  understand  that 
some  day. 

The  letter  from  Hagar  came  to  the  office  of  the  Opera, 
and  as  Thatah  hastily  tore  open  the  envelope,  she  ex- 
claimed to  her  employer :  "  Why,  it's  a  letter  from  my 
sister ! "  Then  she  saw  the  Paris  postmark. 

"  I  didn't  know  your  sister  was  in  Paris,"  said  Graveur. 

"I  —  didn't  either,"  she  answered. 

387 


388  Hagar  Revelly 

He  observed  that  she  seemed  completely  bewildered  by 
the  knowledge. 

Thatah  read  and  re-read  the  impetuous  scribbling,  re- 
peating it  over  to  herself,  and  wondering  about  different 
bits  of  the  letter.  All  day  she  thought  about  the  course 
she  should  pursue.  At  last  she  sought  Graveur  for 
advice. 

"What  am  A  to  do?"  she  asked.  "She  says  I  must 
come,  that  it  is  most  important." 

"  Do  you  want  to  go  ?  "  he  questioned. 

"  I  don't  know,"  she  said,  perplexedly,  experiencing 
at  the  moment  a  feeling  of  elation  at  the  very  suggestion 
of  a  trip  to  Europe. 

Graveur  looked  at  her,  and  as  if  he  suddenly  under- 
stood, said :  "  Perhaps  I  can  do  without  you  for  a  few 
weeks,  Thatah."  Then  he  sought  her  eyes,  saying :  "  I 
will  do  without  you,  Thatah,  if  you  wish  it." 

She  muttered :  "  You  are  so  good  to  me." 

"  I  am  very  fond  of  you,"  he  answered,  and  immediately 
outlined  a  plan  to  teach  the  stenographer  her  different 
duties. 

Thatah  thought  of  the  matter  the  whole  night,  but  the 
next  day  found  her  quite  as  far  away  as  ever  from  a  de- 
cision. However,  she  did  inquire  about  the  sailing  of  the 
different  steamers.  It  was  now  Wednesday,  and  on  Sat- 
urday one  of  the  moderate  priced  steamers  of  a  German 
line  was  sailing.  Knowing  this,  brought  her  nearer  to  a 
decision  than  she  supposed,  and  Friday  found  her,  all 
breathless  with  expectancy,  with  little  Edric  at  her  side, 
and  Graveur  trudging  along  with  a  grip,  hurrying  up  the 
broad  gang-plank  of  the  vessel. 

A  few  hours  later,  amidst  the  groaning  and  creaking 
of  the  vessel  as  it  left  the  dock,  she  sailed  for  Europe. 

Standing  upon  the  upper  deck  Thatah  caught  a  last 
glimpse  of  Graveur,  as  he  ungraciously  squeezed  himself 


Hagar  Revelly  389 

nearer  the  railing.  She  waved  a  kiss  to  him,  then  held  up 
little  Edric's  hand,  crying :  "  See,  dearie,  wave  to  Mr. 
Graveur,"  and  she  took  the  pudgy  little  fist  and  shook  it 
up  and  down  in  the  direction  of  the  fast  disappearing 
figure  on  the  wharf. 

Seven  days  later,  after  a  voyage  that  brought  back  to 
her  cheeks  some  of  their  lost  color,  and  to  her  soul  a  good 
deal  of  her  former  beliefs  and  hopes,  she  made  out 
Hagar's  figure  in  the  crowd  that  came  up  on  a  tender,  as 
the  boat  steamed  into  the  harbor  at  Cherbourg. 

Finally,  the  tender  was  manoeuvred  into  position  and 
Thatah  went  down  the  stairway  into  the  restless  little 
boat  alongside.  Hagar  had  not  perceived  her  until  she 
ran  up,  quite  close  to  her.  She  could  hardly  believe  that 
the  phantasy  of  her  thoughts  should  have  really  taken 
life,  and  brought  Thatah  to  her. 

"  Oh,  Thatah,"  she  cried,  "  you  dear.  I'm  so  glad,  so 
glad!" 

"  I  was  afraid  you  wouldn't  get  my  cable,"  exclaimed 
Thatah,  at  the  same  time  noticing  the  wonderful  gown 
Hagar  wore,  and  the  heightened  color  upon  her  lips  and 
cheeks,  which  went  beyond  any  effect  brought  on  by  the 
salt  air. 

For  a  moment,  both  stood  looking  at  each  other,  quite 
unable  to  speak. 

Then  Hagar  gave  Thatah's  hand  another  squeeze. 
"  You  are  a  dear  to  come.  I  was  so  afraid  you  wouldn't." 
She  went  on  rampantly :  "  Oh,  Thatah,  I've  got  news,  such 
wonderful  news.  I'm  so  happy  —  and  I've  been  good, 
too.  You  wouldn't  know  me.  But  you'll  understand 
later  on." 

They  were  squeezed  by  the  crowd,  and  there  was  much 
noise  about,  and  Thatah,  too  completely  puzzled  to  in- 
trude a  remark,  intended  to  let  her  go  on  talking. 

But,  at  that  moment,  the  stewardess,  who  had  brought 


390  Hagar  Revelly 

little  Edric  from  the  tender,  moved  a  little  closer  to 
Thatah,  and  Hagar,  for  the  first  time,  noticed  the  pretty 
round  face  of  the  boy. 

Her  lips  parted,  she  gripped  the  arm  of  Thatah  in  a 
vice-like  hold,  and  not  a  vestige  of  color  remained  in  her 
face  beyond  that  of  the  artificial  coating. 

"  My  God ! "  she  whispered,  as  if  not  daring  to  word 
her  suspicion,  "  Thatah,  is  —  is  that  —  Edric  ?  "  As 
she  searched  Thatah's  face  for  answer,  the  mask  of  white 
covered  her  own  even  more  emphatically. 

Then  the  woman  at  Thatah's  side  wanted  to  know  if 
she  should  still  remain,  while  the  baby,  with  its  blonde 
mass  of  hair  and  great  blue  eyes,  showed  a  desire  to  get 
into  Thatah's  arms. 

"  Edric?  Why,  Hagar,  of  course,  that's  little  Edric," 
said  Thatah,  giving  the  youngster  an  affectionate  glance. 
"  You  didn't  expect  me  to  leave  him  alone  in  New  York, 
did  you  ?  " 

Hagar  gave  a  wild  stare  into  the  crowd,  and  as  she 
failed  to  answer,  Thatah  became  alarmed.  "  Why, 
Hagar,  what's  the  matter?  " 

"  Oh,  my  God !     I  didn't  think  of  him." 

"  I  don't  understand.  Isn't  it  all  right  ?  Why  do 
you  take  it  so  hard?  You  —  you  need  not  let  him 
know." 

Hagar  turned  to  her.  "  Who  know?"  she  exclaimed, 
Pondering  why  Thatah  should  be  aware  of  Miller  Jarvis. 

"  Why,"  replied  Thatah,  "  Greenfield,  I  suppose." 

"  Greenfield !  "  The  words  were  started  from  Hagar's 
throat  in  a  coarse,  heavy  laugh.  "  Why  —  did  you  think 
Greenfield  was  here  with  me  ?  " 

Thatah,  more  bewildered  than  ever,  looked  at  Hagar. 
"  Why,  Hagar,  of  course  I  did.  What  else  could  I 
think  ?  How  else  could  you  get  here  ?  " 

Hagar's     lips     were     pressed     thin     for     a     moment. 


Hagar  Revelly  391 

"What  did  you  think  I  wanted  you  for,  Thatah?"  she 
asked  on. 

"  I  didn't  know.  Your  letter  was  imploring,  Hagar. 
I  just  came  any  way." 

"  And  you  thought  that  it  was  something  concerning 
Greenfield  and  me  ?  " 

"  Of  course  I  did." 

One  of  the  attendants  from  the  boat  came  up  and  gave 
them  some  directions  about  landing. 

As  soon  as  he  left,  Hagar  began  earnestly :  "  I'll  tell 
you  the  truth,  Thatah.  I  want  to  do  it  before  we  go 
any  farther.  This  is  the  funniest  thing  I  ever  heard  of. 
We're  older  now,  both  of  us,  and  I've  learned  a  good  deal 
in  the  last  year  or  so.  I've  learned  the  world  doesn't 
care  much  what  happens.  In  fact,  everything  just 
happens  and  you've  got  to  get  the  most  of  what  falls  to 
your  lot.  That's  one  of  the  reasons  I'm  here.  I  used 
Greenfield  a  little  bit.  He  paid  my  way  over  —  and 
that's  all.  Everything  is  a  thing  of  the  past  between  us 
now." 

"You  mean  that  you  are  alone  here?" 

"  Sure." 

"  And  that  you're  not  going  back  to  him?  " 

Hagar  nodded  her  head. 

"  What  —  about  a  divorce  then  ?  " 

"A  divorce?     A  divorce  from  whom?" 

"Why,  from  Greenfield." 

Hagar  broke  into  a  laugh,  saying  loud  enough  for 
those  close  to  her  to  hear :  "  Why,  you  silly.  I'm  not 
married  to  Greenfield." 

They  were  nearing  the  shore  now.  Passengers  were 
crowding  against  the  railing,  hunting  for  relatives  or 
friends,  the  white-coated  porters  were  gathering  together 
the  luggage  in  their  charge,  a  bass  voiced  official  was 
shouting  an  order,  while  another  tall  man  in  a  blue  coat 


392  Hagar  Revelly 

was  giving  orders  to  some  tourists  of  the  Cook  Company. 
But  the  sisters  did  not  change  their  position.  Entirely 
oblivious  of  their  surroundings,  they  both  stared  hard 
into  the  countenance  of  the  other. 

, "  You  lived  with  him,  and  never  married  him  ?  "  Tha- 
tah  said  in  a  whisper. 

Hagar  shook  her  head.  Very  carelessly,  she  answered : 
"  Yes,  that's  it.  I  lived  with  him  for  nearly  a  year,  and 
then  I  got  sick  of  him,  and  fixed  it  so  I  could  come  over 
here." 

She  took  Thatah's  hand.  "  Listen,  Thatah,"  she  com- 
menced, "  we  can't  stand  here  talking  like  this,  even 
though  there  is  so  much  to  say.  I'm  pretty  much  upset. 
I  can't  tell  you  how  I  feel  about  —  your  bringing  Edric. 
I  know  you  didn't  do  it  on  purpose,  though  sometimes  I 
get  to  thinking  all  kinds  of  ways  about  you.  Some- 
times I  blame  you  for  making  me  think  i"..z  way  I  do. 
You  remember  what  you  said,  when  I  was  sick,  about  it 
being  all  right  if  I  loved  Herrick?  Anyway,  that  isn't 
what  I  want  to  talk  about  now.  You  know  we're  both 
victims  of  a  hard-luck  family.  Things  haven't  come  our 
way  at  all.  You  know  that.  Of  course,  we're  both  very 
different  from  each  other,  and  if  you  think  I'm  wrong,  in 
looking  at  things  light-heartedly,  maybe  I  think  you're 
wrong  to  be  so  serious  about  everything.  Anyway 
things  have  taken  a  turn  now.  I've  met  a  man,  a  wonder- 
ful man,  who  is  just  right  for  me,  and  I'm  crazy  to  settle 
down."  Her  voice  softened  somewhat.  "  He  doesn't 
care  so  much  for  me  —  yet,  but  I'm  going  to  win  him.  I 
guess  maybe  I'm  in  love.  I  don't  know.  At  least,  I 
think  about  it  all  the  time." 

The  first  shock  of  their  quarrelsome  meeting  was 
passed,  and  now  Hagar  explained  the  reason  for  her  let- 
ter. When  they  had  landed,  and  were  on  their  way 
through  the  cobbled  streets  to  the  one  important  hotel 


Hagar  Revelly  393 

of  the  town,  there  was  something  of  the  old  feeling  in 
Thatah  that  had  possessed  her  when  she  took  Edric  away 
from  Hagar's  garret  chamber. 

By  the  next  morning  everything  was  arranged  as  Ha- 
gar desired.  They  would  get  comfortably  fixed  at  the 
Meurice  for  a  few  days,  and  then  would  seek  a  smaller 
and  cheaper  place;  the  child  was  an  adopted  son  of  a 
friend  of  Thatah's,  who  had  recently  died;  the  truth 
would  be  told  about  their  parents. 

To  every  idea  Hagar  advanced,  Thatah  readily  con- 
sented. Somehow,  she  could  bear  no  ill  will  toward  Ha- 
gar, and  her  sister's  helplessness  and  impulsive  nature 
made  her  take  a  certain  delight  in  helping  Hagar  to 
avoid  possible  consequences. 

Discovering  soon  after  breakfast  that  the  train  for 
Paris  did  not  leave  until  nearly  noon,  Hagar  suggested 
that  they  take  a  walk  along  the  beach  in  front  of  the 
hotel. 

They  were  quite  good  friends  again,  as  they  started 
off  on  the  sandy  beach ;  hand  in  hand,  they  followed 
the  line  of  shore,  and  only  stopped  when  a  great  wall 
of  crimson  rock  loomed  up  through  the  misty  veil  of 
fog. 

The  day  was  warm,  and  the  cooling  effect  of  the  cold 
water  of  the  ocean  had  thrown  into  the  air  a  fantastic 
bank  of  vapor. 

They  walked  in  silence,  both  thinking  how  strange  it 
was  they  should  be  together,  when  Hagar  exclaimed: 
"  Oh,  sister,  how  beautiful  this  is."  Then  they  both 
stopped  to  admire  the  view. 

Like  a  huge,  low  pinnacled  cathedral,  with  its  irregular 
Gothic  outline  and  jagged  columns  and  steeples,  the  rock 
stood  above  the  line  of  fog.  The  early  morning  sun  could 
only  meekly  pierce  the  cloud  of  moisture,  and  the  effect 
was  that  of  mingling  rainbows  and  snow-capped  moun- 


394  Hagar  Revelly 

tains,  kissed  by  the  sunlight.  It  was  truly  beautiful, 
and  both  were  held  in  admiration. 

Thatah  was  affected  so  deeply  she  could  not  speak, 
but  stood  very  still,  in  a  vagrant  contemplation  of  the 
beauty  of  the  vision.  Never  before,  to  her,  had  Nature 
seemed  so  impelling,  so  over-awing.  It  made  her  think 
of  her  life  at  the  office,  with  its  regular  duties,  day  after 
day. 

"  Oh,  Hagar,  this  is  wonderful ! "  she  exclaimed. 
"  How  I  should  like  to  live  here  a  whole  lifetime."  Be- 
fore she  could  speak  again  there  were  tears  flocking  to 
her  eyes. 

"  What  in  the  world  — "  exclaimed  Hagar,  noticing, 
but  not  understanding  Thatah's  emotion,  and  after  a 
moment  of  utter  amazement,  adding :  "  I  guess  we'd  bet- 
ter be  going  back."  She  said,  as  she  led  the  way  to  the 
hotel :  "  If  I  stayed  here  a  whole  day,  the  place  would 
get  on  my  nerves,  too." 

"  Oh,  it  didn't  get  on  my  nerves,  Hagar,"  said  Thatah 
softly. 

"  Well,  it  did  something  to  you.  I  hate  the  country 
and  the  open  air,  and  all  the  stuff  people  rave  about  so 
much.  It  makes  me  sad,  and  I  hate  to  be  where  any- 
body's sad." 

"  I  love  the  open  country,"  answered  Thatah. 

"  Is  that  why  you  cried  ?  "  Hagar  asked,  with  curiosity. 

"  Well,  I  guess  it  is." 

"  From  joy  —  what?  " 

"  I  suppose  so." 

Hagar  studied  her  for  a  moment.  "  My,  but  you're 
funny,"  she  observed. 

Near  noontime  the  train  left  for  Paris.  Thatah  did 
not  lose  her  spirit  of  exaltation,  however.  Passing  so 
swiftly  through  the  silent  lanes,  and  vine-covered  or- 
chards, was  like  unfolding  into  tangibility  the  proper- 


Hagar  Revelly  395 

tions  of  some  past  dream.  The  charming  little  red 
roofs  of  the  Normandy  villages  sang  an  appeal  into  her 
heart  that  made  her  feel  gay  and  free  again,  for  the 
first  time  in  many  months. 

It  may  have  been  this  song  in  her  soul  that  made  her 
want  to  be  kind  and  forgiving  to  Hagar,  for  when  they 
entered  the  Gare  St.  Lazare,  and  she  had  already  met 
the  silent,  tall  man,  she  felt  she  would  do  absolutely  the 
bidding  of  Hagar. 

"  Sister,  this  is  Mr.  Miller  Jarvis,"  said  Hagar. 

"  I  am  happy  to  know  you." 

Thatah  looked  up,  and  there  were  cold  grey  eyes,  sad- 
dened, questioning,  peering  into  her  own. 

He  took  her  hand.  "  Miss  Revelly,"  he  said  simply, 
while  a  strange  silence  hung  over  the  three  as  they  stood 
there. 

Hagar  was  the  first  to  speak.  "  We  are  so  happy  to 
have  you  with  us,  Thatah." 

"  I'm  happy,  too,"  Thatah  replied. 

"  Aren't  you  glad,  Mr.  Jarvis  ?  "  questioned  Hagar. 
"  It'll  be  so  nice  for  us  three  to  be  together." 

"  You  know  I  am  very  glad,"  he  said  quietly. 

They  went  to  the  hotel,  all  three  sitting  huddled  closely 
together,  with  little  Edric  asleep  on  Thatah's  lap.  They 
spoke  very  little,  and  Hagar  was  considerably  bothered 
when  she  perceived  Miller's  eyes  continually  glancing  at 
the  child  on  Thatah's  lap.  She  felt  relieved  when  they 
reached  the  hotel. 

"  He  feels  sorry  for  Thatah,  I  guess,"  she  explained 
to  herself.  "  Thatah  always  looks  so  sad." 

As  soon  as  they  reached  the  room,  Hagar  questioned 
Thatah. 

"What  do  you  think  of  him?" 

"  I   don't  know,"   replied   Thatah  vaguely. 

"  He's  nice,  don't  you  think  so  ?  " 


396  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Oh,  yes." 

Hagar  went  on :  "  You'll  get  over  his  grave  manner. 
That's  his  way.  He's  always  thinking  about  funny,  deep 
things.  But  wait  until  you  talk  to  him.  Anyway,  I 
wouldn't  want  a  man  that's  sporty." 

Then  she  came  nearer  to  Thatah's  side,  saying :  "  Just 
think,  Thatah,  how  great  it  would  be.  You  know  he's 
running  for  Senator,  or  something,  out  there,  and  say, 
won't  I  have  a  great  time,  being  the  lady?  I'd  make  him 
a  good  wife,  though,  and  be  true  to  him,"  she  added  con- 
templatively. 

Noticing  Thatah  looked  vacantly  down  into  the  street, 
she  asked:  "What's  the  matter?  Don't  you  think  so?  " 

"  Oh,  I  hope  it  all  comes  out  the  way  you  want  it,"  re- 
plied Thatah. 

Through  the  hotel  management,  they  procured  an 
English-speaking  nurse-girl  for  Edric,  and  the  next  even- 
ing Miller  took  them  to  dinner,  though  Thatah  begged 
hard  to  be  left  with  Edric. 

"  I  must  stay,"  she  insisted.  "  You  people  don't  want 
me  with  you,  anyway." 

"  It  would  be  better  if  you  came,"  said  Miller,  and  in 
his  words  there  seemed  to  be  an  understanding  and  beg- 
ging, and  command.  Something  made  her  nearly  rush 
to  the  answer :  "  All  right,  I'll  come  then." 

The  dinner  was  a  failure  from  the  standpoint  of  buoy- 
ancy and  spirit.  The  man  was  quiet,  as  if  some  over- 
whelming thing  encompassed  him,  while  Hagar  sat  wearily 
across  from  him,  her  elbows  buried  in  the  table,  her  mind 
puzzled  and  wandering. 

He  had  not  commented  upon  the  dress  she  had  just 
received  from  Liberty's.  This  hurt  her  deeply;  she  was 
also  conscious  of  the  fact  that  once  or  twice  she  had 
smiled  to  him,  thin] ring  his  gaze  was  upon  her,  only  to 
find  his  eyes  dwelling  far  away. 


Hagar  Revelly  397 

After  dinner,  they  moved  further  in  from  the  street 
for  their  coffee,  and  found  a  fairly  inviting  corner  right 
near  a  very  fat  Frenchman  and  his  wife.  The  man  wore 
a  flaming  red  tie  and  spoke  loudly,  while  his  wife  an- 
swered him  in  a  series  of  acquiescing  grunts. 

"Isn't  it  wonderful  in  Paris,  That  ah  ?"  Hagar  ex- 
claimed, after  they  had  gained  their  seats  and  the  waiter 
bowed  himself  back  to  the  kitchen. 

"  It's   truly  wonderful,  sister." 

The  glittering  life,  meeting  her  gaze  in  every  direction, 
surely  interested  her.  A  tall,  beautiful  woman  seated 
herself  with  her  escort  at  the  table  directly  back  of  them. 
The  woman  was  dark  and  sensuous  looking,  and  the  man, 
well  groomed  and  intelligent,  sat  silently  at  her  side. 
The  music  crooned  out  a  slow  throbbing  melody  from 
some  opera. 

It  was  all  of  a  piece,  the  lights,  the  coloring,  ev- 
erything —  both  animate  and  inanimate  —  and  to  Tha- 
tah  it  gave  a  feeling  of  restlessness  and  vague  discon- 
tent. 

She  heard  Miller's  voice  in  her  ear :  "  This  makes  one 
dream,  doesn't  it,  Miss  Revelly?" 

His  voice  startled  her,  but  she  gained  her  composure 
quickly,  and  answered :  "  Yes.  It's  the  first  time  I've 
dreamed  —  in  a  great  long  while,  too." 

Then  Hagar,  who  had  been  watching  them,  said :  "  Oh, 
come,  for  Heaven's  sake,  let's  not  get  sad." 

Miller,  continuing  to  look  at  Thatah,  asked :  "  You 
like  — this  kind  of  life?" 

Thatah's  mind  was  wandering.  She  felt  more  happy 
and  restful  now,  full  of  a  glorious  peace.  It  seemed  that 
everything  at  this  moment  had  been  made  especially  for 
her,  as  if  the  pale  men  and  women  on  the  tapestries,  with 
their  mandolins  and  fans,  were  serenading  and  watching 
her. 


398  Hagar  Revelly 

Then  Hagar  touched  Thatah's  elbow:  "  Thatah,  Mr. 
Jarvis  is  speaking  to  you." 

Thatah  looked  up  to  see  Miller's  gaze  on  her.  "  Oh, 
I  beg  your  pardon,"  she  said,  apologetically,  "  I  have 
been  dreaming,  haven't  I?  What  were  you  saying?  " 

"  I  only  asked  if  you  like  this,"  he  said  gently. 

"  I  would  like  to  live  in  it  always,"  she  answered. 

"  Well,  it  would  take  a  lot  of  money,"  intruded  Hagar. 

"  Money  could  never  make  me  feel  the  way  I  do  now," 
replied  Thatah.  "  Money  can't  do  everything."  Then 
she  caught  Miller  listening  intently  to  every  word.  "  But 
I  guess  you're  right  after  all,  Hagar,"  she  added.  The 
presence  of  Miller  made  her  conscious  of  every  word  she 
uttered. 

Hagar,  however,  since  she  had  started  them  talking, 
reached  out  blindly  for  some  way  of  maintaining  the  con- 
versation. 

"  Well,  money  is  a  pretty  big  thing,  just  the  same. 
It  takes  a  lot  of  money  to  live  in  Paris,  doesn't  it,  Mr. 
Jarvis  ?  "  As  Hagar  turned  to  the  man  who  intuitively 
understood  her  fluttering  effort,  she  added :  "  We  know, 
don't  we?  " 

"  You  bet  it  does,"  he  smiled,  and  added  thoughtfully : 
"  Still,  it's  sentiment  that  makes  the  world  go  round. 
There  are  a  lot  of  people,  especially  the  artists  who  come 
over  here,  who  would  rather  starve  in  an  interesting  fash- 
ion, than  make  money  prosaically,  especially  if  starving 
meant  the  attaining  of  something  they  craved." 

"  Would  you?  "  asked  Thatah,  turning  to  him.  Some- 
how to  her  the  question  seemed  important. 

He  thought  for  a  moment,  then  answered,  a  bit  rem- 
iniscently :  "  Well,  I  don't  know.  I  think  responsi- 
bility would  be  the  only  thing  that  would  keep  me  from 
it." 

The  conversation  dragged  after  that,  and  for  a  long 


Hagar  Revelly  399 

time  following  the  coffee,  absolute  silence  fell  over  the 
entire  party. 

Miller  suggested  that  they  go  to  some  other  cafe  for 
a  short  time,  but  Hagar  felt  so  queerly  restless  and  un- 
happy, she  would  only  agree  to  them  going  back  to  the 
hotel. 

"  Let's  go  back  to  the  hotel  —  I've  got  a  headache," 
she  pleaded,  and  she  cast  her  eyes  down  for  a  moment, 
perhaps  to  appear  more  wan  and  weary.  But  when  she 
looked  up,  with  a  subconscious  feeling  that  his  sympathy 
would  bring  the  old  caress  in  its  glance,  she  found  him 
staring  at  Thatah. 

After  some  discussion,  they  decided  not  to  ride  back 
to  the  hotel,  but  rather  to  walk  slowly  along  the  Boule- 
vard. 

The  moving  throng  had  the  same  effect  upon  them, 
however.  For  Miller  and  Thatah  there  was  no  note  from 
the  tangible  now.  Something  indefinable  seemed  to  set- 
tle about  them,  and  made  them  understand,  as  they 
walked  peacefully  and  silently  side  by  side,  that  there 
existed  between  them  a  perfect  feeling  of  unity. 

The  days  passed  into  the  first  week  after  Thatah's 
arrival,  when  one  afternoon,  perceiving  that  Thatah  be- 
came silent  as  soon  as  Miller  left  them,  Hagar  said: 
"  Thatah,  you're  trying  to  win  him  from  me,  and  you 
know  it." 

Thatah,  noticing  Hagar's  sullen  and  angered  face, 
exclaimed:  "Oh,  sister,  you  shouldn't  say  that." 

Braving  herself,  Thatah  went  on.  Her  voice  trembled 
as  she  spoke :  "  Hagar,  I  came  over  here  blindly  —  to 
do  what  you  wanted  of  me.  And  I'm  here  to  be  as  loyal 
to  you  as  you  want  me  to  be.  I  know  you've  been  watch- 
ing me." 

"  But  you  know  he  cares  for  you.  Honestly,  I  didn't 
know  what  was  wrong  until  I  became  suspicious  just  a 


400  Hagar  Revelly 

couple  of  days  ago.  I'm  no  fool.  I  can  tell  what  he 
thinks  and  feels,  when  he  looks  at  you  the  way  he  does." 

"  I'm  sorry,  Hagar.  I've  done  nothing,  absolutely 
nothing.  Why,  I've  hardly  spoken  to  him." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  blame  you  so  much,  Thatah,  but  look  at 
the  way  things  stand." 

Hagar  gave  a  deep  sigh,  then  exclaimed :  "  Good 
heavens,  who  can  tell  the  crazy  turns  things  will  take? 
As  if  I  ever  gave  it  a  thought  that  he  would  care  for 
you.  But  we've  got  to  do  something,"  she  went  on,  ear- 
nestly. "  I'll  be  in  a  rotten  fix  if  things  don't  take  a  turn 
for  me.  And  you're  trying  to  spoil  it  all,  instead  of 
helping  me."  As  she  saw  Thatah's  eyes  flash,  she  went 
into  softer  tones :  "  Sister,  you  mustn't  go  back  on  me. 
You  will  help  me,  won't  you?  Why,  I  guess  it  means 
my  whole  life.  I'd  never  work  in  a  store  again." 

"  I  understand  everything,  Hagar.  You  can  trust 
me.  I  stood  by  you  once.  I'll  do  it  again." 

As  Thatah  went  into  the  next  room  to  hide  her  feel- 
ings, her  senses  were  torn  by  her  dilemma. 

Miller  soon  became  conscious  that  Thatah  was  avoid- 
ing him  in  every  possible  way. 

At  first  he  was  curious  and  wondered  whether  it  was 
out  of  regard  for  Hagar  that  she  kept  away  from  him, 
but  as  she  most  palpably  avoided  every  meeting,  he  de- 
termined that  she  really  felt  no  part  of  this  feeling  that 
was  overwhelming  him. 

Then  one  afternoon,  he  passed  her  in  the  hallway, 
and  their  eyes  met.  He  went  to  his  room,  and  sat  for 
hours  with  his  pulses  beating  wildly.  At  last,  blind  with 
the  sudden  determination  to  know,  he  rushed  to  Thatah's 
apartment.  Luckily,  Hagar  had  gone  to  the  dining- 
room,  and  he  found  Thatah  on  a  seat  by  the  open  win- 
dow. 

For  an  instant  they  stood  facing  each  other. 


Hagar  Revelly  401 

"  You  here !  You !  "  she  exclaimed.  There  was  trem- 
bling and  eagerness  in  her  voice. 

He  stood  silent,  his  face  full  of  begging:  "I  had  to 
come,"  he  said  quietly. 

Thatah  meant  to  say  several  things,  to  explain  the 
situation,  to  make  him  understand  the  cause  for  which 
she  was  fighting,  or  even  express  some  word  that  would 
turn  him  off  altogether. 

But  all  she  could  do  was  to  answer  his  beseeching  eyes 
by  extending  to  him  her  hand. 

"I  knew  you  would  understand,"  he  cried. 

He  led  her  back  to  the  seat  by  the  window. 

"  I'm  so  happy,"  he  said  impetuously.  "  This  is  so 
wonderful  —  so  good.  Oh,  you  must  know  that." 

As  she  drew  away  from  him,  he  went  on  hotly :  "  We're 
man  and  woman,  Thatah.  Do  you  think  that  when  I've 
discovered  the  reality  of  every  thought  I've  dreamed  for 
years  —  do  you  think  I'm  going  to  give  you  up  ?  Oh, 
you  must  know.  We've  got  to  be  brave  —  but  we've  got 
to  be  true  to  ourselves.  I'll  tell  little  Hagar  —  I'll  tell 
her  everything." 

For  the  first  time  she  looked  up  into  his  eyes,  crying: 
"  Oh,  no,  no  —  I'm  doing  wrong.  Please,  please,  don't 
let  me!" 

Jarvis  perceived  the  truth  in  her  confession.  "  Tha- 
tah, I  love  you,"  he  pleaded.  "  What  need  have  people 
like  us  for  explanation  and  words?  What  difference 
would  it  make  if  we  had  known  each  other  for  years? 
Why,  I've  loved  you,"  his  voice  softened  somewhat,  from 
the  very  first  moment,  there  at  the  station. 

"  And  I've  thought  and  thought  about  it  this  last  week, 
until  I've  been  nearly  crazed.  Oh,  child,  there  is  some- 
thing better  and  bigger,  and  greater,  that  is  guiding  us. 
We  are  not  doing  wrong." 

He  saw  her  saddened  eyes  filled  with  tears. 


402  Hagar  Revelly 

"  Look  at  me,"  he  begged.  "  Tell  me  I  haven't  judged 
wrongly." 

He  paused  for  only  a  moment  now,  feeling,  as  she  kept 
silent,  that  it  was  the  overflowing  emotions  that  con- 
trolled her.  Then  he  went  on,  talking  slowly  and  ear- 
nestly :  "  I've  believed  all  my  life  in  impulses,  Thatah. 
They  are  the  only  true  emotions  that  stored  up  craving 
can  give,  and  I'm  speaking  to  you,  following  the  dictates 
of  something  that  comes  from  deep  in  me.  And  I  mean  it. 
Oh,  every  word  of  it." 

And  now  she  looked  up  into  his  face,  as  he  pleaded, 
and  the  outlines  of  it  were  as  familiar  to  her  as  if  she  had 
beheld  them  a  lifetime.  And  though  she  meant  not  to 
let  him  perceive  her  feelings,  she  awakened  to  find  his 
lips  upon  her  forehead,  while  in  her  soul  there  arose  a 
feeling  of  thankfulness,  that  paid  up  in  the  moment,  for 
all  the  years  of  waiting  and  inertia  she  had  endured. 

"  Thatah ! "  came  nearly  inarticulate  from  Miller. 

She  raised  her  face,  and  when  her  eyes  were  at  a  level 
with  his  own,  and  she  saw  there  all  the  strength  and  love 
hunger  of  the  man,  her  resolutions  fled  entirely,  swept 
away,  as  if  by  some  overpowering  maelstrom  of  emotion. 

"  Thatah !  "  he  cried  again. 

But  she  said,  in  a  half  whisper,  "  Oh,  I  can't.  .  .  . 
Please,  man,  I  must  not." 

He  folded  her  deep  into  his  arms,  saying  over  and 
over :  "  Thatah,  I  love  you." 

Then  she  seemed  slowly  to  yield  to  his  caresses. 

"  I  love  you,  too.  I  can't  help  it,"  she  answered  at  his 
lips. 


CHAPTER  XXXII 

IN  the  fast  ebbing  light  of  late  day,  Thatah  and  Hagar 
stood  facing  each  other.  The  battle  cry  of  defeat  and 
disappointment  were  silently  told  in  the  younger  girl's 
trembling  lips  and  flaring  eyes.  But  she  kept  her  forces 
together,  and  nothing  beyond  a  slight  unsteadiness  of 
speech  revealed  to  Miller  the  feeling  of  rage  and  despair 
that  flooded  through  her. 

"  I've  stood  out  there  for  half  an  hour,"  she  cried. 
"  I  don't  know  what  it  was  that  made  me  hurry  up  so 
soon.  Anyway,  I've  heard  everything."  Then  she 
turned  in  the  man's  direction.  "  So  you've  loved  sister 
all  the  time,  haven't  you  ?  "  she  cried. 

Miller,  standing  erect,  his  grey  eyes  softened  some- 
what, as  he  perceived  the  appeal  concealed  in  Hagar's 
voice,  answered :  "  Yes,  Hagar,  I  love  her." 

Utterly  bewildered  by  the  understanding  of  the  truth 
of  her  fears,  she  searched  his  face. 

Then,  instinctively  realizing  the  entire  situation,  and 
knowing  that  she  could  not  make  any  fight  with  them  to- 
gether, she  hurried  towards  the  door,  saying  as  she  went : 
"  I'll  leave  you  two  alone." 

But  Thatah,  surmising  Hagar's  intention,  had  gone  to 
the  door  ahead  of  her.  "  It  is  my  place  to  go,"  she  said, 
as  she  caught  Hagar's  arm. 

Miller  started  after  her,  then  he  went  back  to  his  chair. 
"  She's  right,  Hagar,"  he  said.  "  Let  us  sit  down  and 
talk  this  thing  over." 

"  All  right,  that's  what  I  want  to  do,"  Hagar  replied 

bitterly.     And  then  she  began  immediately :     "  You  think 

403 


404*  Hagar  Revelly 

I  don't  understand  —  that  I  don't  know  what  it  is,  to 
have  a  real  affection  for  some  one,  don't  you?  But  I  do 
understand.  That's  the  whole  trouble.  I  let  you  know 
from  the  start  how  I  cared.  Yes,  it's  always  that  way 
with  men.  You've  got  to  lie  to  them  and  keep  them  off. 
Or  else  they  won't  think  they're  clever  when  they  win  you. 
That  was  just  the  trouble.  If  I  had  played  right  with 
you,  and  never  let  you  know  how  I  felt,  it  would  have 
been  different." 

He  started  to  interrupt  her,  but  she  exclaimed  impetu- 
ously :  "  Oh,  let  me  go  on."  And  quite  recklessly- 
with  a  fierce  tone  of  defiance  ringing  throughout  her 
words,  she  pointed  out  to  him  wherein  lay  her  weakness, 
and  the  gradual  process  by  which  Thatah  had  fascinated 
him.  Then,  quite  suddenly,  she  burst  forth  into  a 
strange  argument :  "  Do  you  know,"  she  glared  at  him, 
"  why  it  was  that  I  feared  all  this  ?  Tell  me,  have  you 
ever  thought  ?  " 

"  I  don't  quite  understand." 

"  Well,  you  ought  to,"  she  answered.  "  You're  a  sen- 
sible man,  and  if  you  think  a  little  bit,  you'll  realize  that 
that  story  about  adopting  a  friend's  child  sounds  fishy. 
Of  course,  I  didn't  say  anything  in  the  beginning,  because 
I  thought  you  cared  for  me.  But,  it  doesn't  make  any 
difference  now." 

She  hesitated,  and  the  man,  seeing  that  her  anger  was 
bringing  forth  some  confession,  begged  her  to  go  on. 

"Yes,  I'll  tell  you,"  she  replied.  "Oh,  I  knew  you 
cared  for  her  that  first  night  at  Marguery's,  but  I  just 
couldn't  believe  it  then.  Well  — " 

"  Go  on,  Hagar,"  said  Miller,  firmly. 

"  Well,  have  you  ever  thought  what  might  be  the  real 
truth  about  little  Edric?" 

"Edric!     Why,  what  do  you  mean?" 


Hagar  Revelly  405 

"  Well,  it's  all  on  account  of  Edric  that  I've  been 
worried.  I  didn't  think  she'd  bring  him  over." 

Her  voice  changed  somewhat  now,  as  she  said  softly: 
"  Edric,  you  know  —  is  —  her  illegitimate  child." 

Miller  grasped  her  roughly  by  the  shoulders.  Then 
he  said  fiercely :  "  Do  you  know  what  you're  telling 
me?" 

"  I  know  —  I  understand  how  you  must  feel.  I  — 
you  don't  know  how  sorry  I  am." 

Like  a  flash  there  came  over  him  at  that  instant  Tha- 
tah's  expression  when  she  had  said :  "  I  love  Edric  so, 
I  wouldn't  give  him  up  even  if  his  mother  wanted  him 
now." 

Miller  exclaimed :     "  I  don't  believe  it,  Hagar." 

"  I  fought  hard  not  to  tell  you,  Miller.  Why,  good 
Lord  — "  she  started  to  say  that  which  lay  uppermost  in 
her  mind,  came  near  telling  him  in  her  suppressed  frenzy, 
how  she  had  wanted  to  win  him,  and  the  plans  she  had 
made  to  accomplish  it. 

However,  she  answered  quite  tranquilly :  "  I  wanted 
you.  That's  the  reason  I  didn't  tell  you  then,  and  wh;; 
I'm  telling  you  now.  I  —  just  wanted  to  get  away  — 
away  from  this  noise  and  faking-  I  wanted  to  go  some 
place  where  a  man  would  believe  in  me,  some  place  where 
—  it  would  be  nice  and  quiet,  and  peacef ul-like,  and 
chickens  and  cows,  and  I  could  hear  the  birds  sing,  and 
breathe  the  fresh  air.  Oh,  that's  what  I  wanted.  God, 
I  wanted  it  bad,  too.  I  wanted  somebody  I  could  be 
proud  of,  somebody  that  would  teach  me  things,  I'm  — 
I'm  pretty  sick  of  men  like  Morgan  Best." 

As  if  overwhelmed  by  some  outburst  from  a  hidden 
fountain  of  truth,  Hagar  now  laid  bare  her  feelings. 
Imploringly,  half  crazed  by  the  realization  that  she  was 
to  lose  this  opportunity  for  home  and  peace,  she  went 


406  Hagar  Revelly 

on;  but  in  her  words,  was  the  abandon  of  one  who  knows 
the  futility  of  their  quest. 

Very  gently  she  knelt  by  the  side  of  his  chair,  and 
slowly  took  hold  of  one  of  his  big  hands  and  stroked  the 
fingers. 

"  I  want  you,"  she  said  earnestly.  "  I  want  you,  and 
I'm  not  afraid  to  let  you  know  it.  I  haven't  any  pride 
with  you,  Miller,  or  else  my  only  pride  is  in  the  feeling 
that  I'm  daring  to  be  honest  with  you.  Oh,  can't  you 
understand?  I've  never  known  anybody  like  you  before. 
You're  so  strong  and  big  and  serious  and  kind.  Your 
whole  life  isn't  made  up  of  thinking  of  clothes  and  things 
like  that.  Why,  that  used  to  be  the  only  kind  of  man 
I  ever  thought  of,  until  I  met  you.  You  could  teach  me 
a  lot,  Miller." 

She  reached  up  and  turned  his  face  toward  her.  The 
dark  lines  about  his  mouth  and  eyes  seemed  coarser  and 
deeper  than  ever. 

"  Please  look  at  me,"  she  begged. 

Some  joy  came  to  her  at  this  moment,  for  she  saw  that 
he  had  been  affected  by  her  words.  Her  happiness  was 
shortlived.  He  arose  from  the  chair  and  half  dragged 
her  up  with  him.  It  was  not  affection,  however,  that 
controlled  him,  for  he  seemed  more  stern  and  resolute 
than  ever,  and  a  certain  fierceness  in  manner  and  speech 
had  beset  him. 

In  nearly  a  whisper  he  began :  "  Hagar,  this  is  a  rot- 
ten world  of  ours,  a  great  joke  .  .  .  but  when  once  I 
get  a  thing  in  my  head,  it's  there  for  good.  And  I 
know  now  what  I  think,  and  I  don't  believe  anything  in 
the  world  could  make  the  slightest  difference.  There  is 
something  about  Thatah's  eyes,  that  tells  me  I  can  be- 
lieve in  her.  If  she  has  had  this  child,  I'll  feel  the  sorrier 
for  her,  and  know  that  she  needs  my  help  just  that  much 
more." 


Hagar  Revelly  407 

Hagar  understood  the  futility  of  further  pleading. 
Miller's  words  had  come  so  emphatic  and  earnest,  she  saw 
that  she  would  only  humiliate  herself.  She  had  followed 
the  wrong  course  with  him. 

So  she  turned  away  from  him,  and  without  speaking 
opened  the  door  and  went  into  the  next  room.  Miller 
picked  up  his  gloves  and  hat  from  a  chair,  and  after 
hesitating  for  a  moment  at  the  door  which  had  just  closed 
on  Hagar,  he  walked  out  into  the  hall. 


CHAPTER  XXXIII 

THE  next  day  brought  a  complement  of  events. 

Miller  told  Thatah  that  he  had  made  Hagar  acquainted 
with  every  detail  of  his  regard  for  her. 

He  did  not  mention  Hagar's  accusation  concerning 
Edric,  feeling  that  she  had  been  in  the  next  room  and 
might  have  heard.  Even  when  she  told  him  that  she  had 
been  in  the  Tuileries  Gardens,  he  hesitated  to  tell  her, 
simply  through  the  fear  of  losing  her. 

And  so,  through  ignorance  on  Thatah's  part,  and 
Miller's  fear,  Hagar  went  about  with  them,  quite  as  if  her 
story  was  a  forgotten  triviality. 

On  the  following  evening,  the  three  had  dinner  to- 
gether, but  Hagar,  hardly  able  to  endure  her  pangs  of 
conscience,  complained  at  its  close  that  she  felt  ill,  and 
left  them. 

Miller  then  suggested  to  Thatah  that  they  take  a  walk 
in  the  cool,  evening  air,  and  she  went  up  to  her  room  for 
her  hat  and  coat.  When  she  returned,  and  they  walked 
across  the  Rue  de  Rivoli  into  the  Tuileries  Gardens,  Ha- 
gar watched  them  from  the  balcony  window. 

For  a  time  they  strolled  on  in  silence,  Thatah  experi- 
encing for  the  first  time  in  her  life  the  thought  of  comfort 
and  thorough  peace,  such  as  she  had  always  imagined 
and  longed  for. 

"  I  wonder  if  many  people  know  how  wonderful  the 
nights  are,"  said  he,  as  they  walked  along.  "  Day- 
time, I  abhor  with  its  shuffling  crowds  and  mock- 
ing sunlight  and  noise.  But  there's  something  rather 
fine  in  the  night-time,  isn't  there? " 

408 


II  a  gar  Revelly  409 

"  You  mean  that  you  like  the  quiet  ?  "  she  asked. 

"  Oh,  I  mean  more  than  that.  I  think  at  night  you 
are  less  disturbed  by  ordinary  things.  I  fancy  that  is 
why  people  are  lonelier  at  night." 

"  I  wonder." 

Miller  observed  her  face  as  she  answered  him,  and 
when  she  noticed,  she  asked  what  was  wrong. 

"  Nothing,  child,"  he  said.  She  perceived,  however, 
the  affection  that  lay  in  his  eyes  and  voice. 

Off  across  the  Gardens  and  outlined  faintly  in  the 
early  evening  twilight  like  some  gigantic  balloon,  could 
be  seen  the  dome  of  a  cathedral.  It  was  in  marked  con- 
trast to  the  surging  crowds  on  the  well-lighted  Boule- 
vard, and  unconsciously  they  wandered  in  its  direction, 
at  last,  sitting  upon  a  little  bench,  near  the  high  iron 
picketed  enclosure  that  separated  the  Park  from  the 
street. 

As  they  peered  through  the  bars,  Thatah  remarked 
how  gay  everyone  seemed  in  the  moving  crowd. 

"  Do  you  think  any  one  of  them  ever  speculates  on  the 
future  ?"  she  suggested.  "  There  they  promenade,  night 
after  night.  I  should  think  they  would  try  to  find  some- 
thing new." 

"  I  guess  their  philosophy,  Thatah,  is  to  gather  the 
rosebuds  while  you  may,"  he  remarked. 

"  Yes,  and  then  the  rosebuds  go,  and  the  rosebushes 
live,  and  all  you  get  is  the  prick  of  the  thorns." 

"  At  least  the  pricking  of  the  thorns  ought  to  stir 
them." 

When  he  saw  that  she  did  not  quite  understand  him, 
he  said :  "  I  mean  people  like  that,  who  are  surfeited 
and  blase,  can  only  store  up  greater  monotony  in  their 
restlessness.  They  are  not  building  for  the  future  any 
more,  because  they  do  not  know  what  they  want.  It's 
like  Morgan  Best's  case.  I  can't  help  thinking  that  there 


410  Hagar  Revelly 

is  nothing  for  him  to  fall  back  upon,  except  some  extreme 
of  what  he  has  already  had. 

"  Why,  sometimes  I  pity  him,"  Morgan  went  on  ear- 
nestly. "  He's  always  selling  himself  for  a  price.  That's 
what  his  pleasures  come  to.  But,  we  don't  buy  anything 
when  we  sell  our  hearts,  do  we?  "  He  paused  for  a  mo- 
ment, then  added :  "  I  guess  it's  only  when  we  give  that 
the  returns  are  greatest." 

He  took  her  hand  gently.  "  I  wonder,  dear,"  he  said, 
"  if  you  ever  felt  that  you  couldn't  take  something  just 
because  it  didn't  happen  to  have  a  certain  attraction  that 
you  really  craved?  I'm  like  that.  It's  idealism,  I  guess. 
But  to  me,  idealism  is  only  realizing  the  importance  of 
the  things  we  most  want.  Yes,  I've  tried  pretty  hard  to 
get  the  same  values  out  of  things  that  come  to  other  peo- 
ple —  but,  oh,  I  can't.  I  want  the  height  always  — - 1 
want  things  real,  no  illusion.  I  guess  I'm  foolish." 

"  Oh,  no  you're  not,"  Thatah  broke  in. 

"  At  least,  I've  been  perfectly  willing,  Thatah,  to  go 
along,  waiting  and  waiting,  for  the  day  when  the  great 
happiness  would  come  to  me.  When  I  could  recognize  it, 
and  then,  in  my  imagination,  go  out  on  the  prairies  or 
high  places,  and  square  my  shoulders  —  and  throw  back 
my  head,  and  say  to  the  winds  on  the  hills :  '  Here's 
what  I  want.  It's  what  I've  always  wanted  —  and  by 
God,  I'm  going  to  take  it.'  " 

He  had  lost  himself  in  his  words,  and  as  he  looked  up 
and  realized  what  he  had  said,  he  became  more  humble 
again,  saying  bashfully :  "  I  really  forgot  what  I  was 
doing,  Thatah.  Forgive  me." 

"  Oh,  go  on,  I  love  to  hear  you  talk  like  that,"  she 
begged. 

He  held  her  hand  more  tightly. 

"  Once  I  came  across  a  phrase  that  I've  always  re- 
membered :  '  For  a  dreamer  is  one  who  can  only  find  his 


Hagar  Revelly  411 

way  by  moonlight,  and  his  punishment  is  that  he  sees 
the  dawn  before  the  rest  of  the  world.'  I  used  to  think 
that  was  going  to  be  my  fate,"  he  said  quietly. 

"  Oh,  I  think  dreaming  is  good  for  one,"  Thatah  added 
gently  — "  when  the  dreams  come  true." 

"  People  that  study  life  have  to  dream  a  lot,  I  guess. 
They  learn  the  real  values,  too.  I  knew  a  fellow,  once," 
he  went  on,  "  who  would  make  plans  on  paper  for  the 
next  day,  then  he  began  doing  that  for  his  own  life,  and. 
for  those  about  him  whom  he  knew  very  well.  One  day, 
some  one  asked  him  what  he  was  doing.  I'll  never  forget 
his  answer :  *  I'm  only  a  photographer  of  life,'  said  he, 
4  trying  to  take  pictures  with  the  end  of  a  pencil.'  It 
was  in  the  Western  country,  too,  Thatah,  and  out  there 
it  isn't  all  sunlight  snapshots." 

"  I've  always  wanted  to  be  in  the  West,"  said  she. 

"  It  won't  be  long,  Thatah,"  he  answered,  looking 
ahead,  with  eagerness  in  his  eyes. 

As  they  walked  back  to  the  hotel,  and  Thatah  hung  on 
his  arm,  and  felt  the  protection  offered  her  by  this  man, 
she  wondered  what  would  have  happened  to  her  had  she 
not  come  to  Paris. 

At  her  plate  the  next  morning,  she  found  a  letter  from 
him,  and  a  great  joy  flooded  her  whole  being  when  she 
realized  that  Miller  might  have  sat  up  a  good  part  of  the 
night  to  write  to  her. 

The  letter  ran: 

Dear  Thatah: 

I  am  in  a  mood.  I'm  young  all  over  again,  and  when  I  find 
myself  affected  as  I  am  to-night  since  leaving  you,  there  is  only 
one  thing  to  do  —  that  is,  act  just  like  the  youth  himself. 

I've  been  sitting  here  for  hours,  just  thinking  about  you,  in 
a  sort  of  ecstasy.  You  mustn't  laugh  at  me.  I  keep  on  think- 
ing how  happy  I  am,  how  I  thank  God  I  found  you.  Why, 
you  seem  to  have  been  my  companion  through  all  the  years, 


Hagar  Revelly 

through  all  the  lonely  vigil.  I  wonder  —  is  there  some  wild 
nomadic  strain  in  you,  that  matches  up  with  that  something  in 
me  that  has  always  kept  me  dreaming  and  yearning. 

My  watch  says  it  is  nearly  three  o'clock.  It's  grey  white 
outside  now.  The  milk  man  has  been  to  the  hotel.  I  can  hear 
his  rumbling  cans  go  down  the  street. 

I  can  hardly  wait  until  I  see  you  in  the  morning.  Ah,  I 
am  as  frail  as  the  rest  of  my  sex. 

I  thought  I  should  stop  now,  only  to  find  myself  filled  with 
a  desire  to  talk  further  with  you.  I'm  afraid  this  letter  will 
become  grotesque  —  incoherent  —  surely  there  is  nothing  more 
interesting  than  the  words  a  man  will  pour  into  the  ears  of  the 
woman  he  loves.  I  don't  believe  women  are  like  this.  They 
convey  their  feelings  by  some  stray  glance,  some  inadvertent 
touch,  they  even  say,  '  I  love  you/  but  that  is  all.  No,  women 
are  really  not  given  to  wording  their  emotions,  as  are  men. 

Well,  I  promise  one  thing  —  you  will  never  be  for  me  an 
asylum  for  my  worries.  To  those  of  whom  we  are  fond,  we 
should  only  dare  to  give  that  part  of  us  which  will  make  them 
happy.  If  we  try  to  get  only  sympathy,  it  means  selfishness, 
and  I  know  love  is  not  that. 

I  must  stop  my  rambling.     We've  talked  so  little. 

Good  night. 


It  was  her  first  love  letter. 

For  a  long  while  she  meditated,  feeling  a  certain  dis- 
appointment indefinable  to  herself.  Having  been  vaguely 
mindful  for  some  time  of  his  austere,  unbending  view  of 
life,  his  lessened  understanding  of  the  gayer  moments  of 
which  even  she  felt  life  was  full,  she  only  gradually  could 
perceive  his  sobriety  of  manner  to  be  the  expression  mir- 
rored forth  from  a  soul's  past  torment. 


CHAPTER  XXXIV 

IN  the  days  that  followed,  Hagar  went  about  as  though 
she  were  in  a  state  of  narcosis.  When  Thatah  and  Mil- 
ler decided  at  the  last  moment  to  go  back  together  to 
New  York  for  their  marriage,  she  stood  like  some  dumb 
animal,  watching  the  train  until  it  disappeared  into  the 
distance. 

Her  senses  distorted  by  series  of  unrelenting  thoughts, 
she  wondered  if  Miller  had  already  told  Thatah  of  her 
lie,  and  if  she  had  done  right  in  refusing  to  go  along  with 
them,  when  Thatah  had  asked  her.  After  all,  she  re- 
flected, as  she  walked  along,  that  she  would  surely  have 
had  to  settle  down  with  Miller.  Thatah  was  different  — 
she  was  made  for  a  quiet  home.  She  wondered  a  little  if 
Thatah  really  loved  Jarvis,  with  his  stiff,  foolish  ideas 
about  things. 

But  all  the  way  back  to  the  hotel,  Hagar  felt  as  if 
someone  had  struck  her  a  blow.  Her  house  of  dreams 
lay  shattered  about  her,  and  Miller's  going  with  Thatah 
and  little  Edric,  took  away  the  last  invisible  prop.  When 
she  reached  her  room,  she  sat  wearily  in  a  rocker  by  the 
window.  The  dark  of  the  room  made  it  easier  for  her  to 
think  and  she  rocked  back  and  forth  with  monotonous 
regularity  for  nearly  two  hours. 

Alone  in  the  dark  she  pondered  deeply.  Until  now  she 
had  not  realized  the  fact  that  the  to-morrow  held  out 
nothing  for  her.  Then  she  thought  of  the  money  she  had 
spent  so  recklessly,  and  where  more  would  come  from. 

When  she  realized  quite  suddenly  the  state  in  which  Tha- 

413 


414  Hagar  Revelly 

tah  had  left  her,  she  cried:  "  Am  I  an  outcast?  "  again 
and  again. 

It  was  a  wail  of  self-revelation.  Suddenly  her  spirit 
of  pride  and  resourcefulness  seemed  absolutely  taken 
away. 

Until  ten  o'clock  she  paced  the  room,  her  hands 
clenched  and  her  eyes  searching  the  bare  walls,  as  if  she 
could  bring  out  of  them  some  hidden  thought  or  plan. 
She  felt  rather  regretful  now  that  she  had  not  accepted 
Thatah's  invitation  to  go  back  to  America  with  her. 

About  an  hour  later,  Hagar  called  up  Morgan  Best. 

"  I  thought  you'd  forgotten  me,"  he  said  in  his  gay 
manner.  "  But  I  was  going  to  look  you  up,  anyway. 
I  promised  Miller  that  this  afternoon." 

When  she  was  seated  in  his  little  parlor,  she  wondered 
why  Miller's  face  was  continually  in  front  of  her.  This 
man  had  such  a  clever  manner,  he  seemed  so  sure  of 
himself,  and  his  hair  and  clothes  were  so  well  taken  care 
of.  But  somehow  she  missed  Miller  more  at  the  moment 
than  ever  before.  However,  she  spoke  very  sweetly  to 
Best.  "  I  got  awful  lonesome  sitting  up  there  after  Tha- 
tah  left.  So  I  just  thought  I'd  call  you  up." 

It  was  quite  dark  in  the  room  and  Best  wondered  if  he 
should  make  a  light. 

"Oh,  I  like  the  twilight,"  she  objected. 

"  As  you  wish,"  he  replied. 

Hagar  walked  over  and  looked  out  of  the  window,  down 
into  a  deep,  dark  areaway. 

"  Gee !  it's  dark  down  there ! "  she  exclaimed. 

"It  is  dark,  isn't  it?" 

"  I'd  be  so  scared,  I'd  keep  this  window  locked  all  the 
time,  for  fear  I'd  wake  up  in  my  sleep  some  night."  As 
he  failed  to  answer  her,  she  looked  around  at  him. 
"Why,  what's  the  matter  with  you?"  she  asked. 
"  You're  as  quiet  as  a  clam." 


Hagar  Revelly  415 

He  suppressed  a  yawn  as  he  answered :  "  I'm  pretty 
tired,  I  guess.  Had  a  big  party  last  night  at  L'Ab- 
beye's." 

For  some  time  Hagar  gazed  over  the  sill,  peering  into 
the  darkness,  without  saying  a  word.  Then  she  came 
back  into  the  room,  and  walked  over  to  him,  and  leaned 
somewhat  over  his  shoulder.  "  I  thought  we  might  have 
some  fun  to-night,"  said  she  slowly,  as  if  he  had  hurt  her 
by  his  silence. 

Best  looked  up,  with  a  kind  expression  upon  his  face. 
"  I'm  pretty  tired,"  said  he. 

Then  he  became  silent  again,  while  Hagar  walked 
about  the  room,  touching  one  or  another  of  the  different 
things  on  the  writing  desk  or  on  the  mantel. 

At  last  she  said :  "  God !  say  something.  You  act  as 
if  you  didn't  want  me." 

"  Why,  you  know  better  than  that,  Hagar." 

She  had  taken  the  chair  by  his  side  when  the  telephone 
gave  a  short  ring.  As  he  rushed  across  the  room,  his 
spirits  appeared  to  come  back  in  an  instant.  "  I  guess 
that's  about  my  tickets,"  he  said.  "  I  forgot  to  tell 
you  I'm  leaving  for  Switzerland  in  the  morning." 

He  put  the  mouthpiece  to  his  lips,  and  though  Hagar 
strained  hard  to  hear  what  he  said,  his  tones  were  so  low 
and  so  well  directed,  she  could  only  get  an  occasional 
fragment  of  a  woman's  rather  high-pitched  voice. 

When  he  placed  the  instrument  back  on  the  hook,  his 
face  was  very  red,  and  she  thought  he  was  a  little  nerv- 
ous. 

"  I'm  sorry,"  he  explained ;  "  I've  got  to  run  down- 
stairs. A  friend  with  whom  I  had  a  partial  engage- 
ment — " 

Hagar  took  the  silver  beaded  shawl  from  the  back  of 
the  chair  and  threw  it  over  her  shoulders. 

"  Oh,  don't  worry.     I'll  go,"  she  cried  a  bit  angrily. 


416  Hagar  Revelly 

"  I'm  sorry."  He  spoke  rather  dejectedly.  "  Maybe 
I  should  have  thought  about  it  before,  but  I  — 

"  Oh,  don't  worry.  It's  all  right."  In  her  throat 
was  a  choking,  uncomfortable  feeling. 

She  had  walked  as  far  as  the  door,  when  he  stopped  her 
and  looked  steadily  into  her  face. 

"  Let  me  tell  you  a  plan  I  have  in  mind,  Hagar,"  he 
said,  as  he  took  hold  of  her  arm.  "  And  we  best  talk 
straight  to  each  other."  For  a  moment  he  paused,  as 
if  in  a  search  for  the  right  way  of  beginning.  Then 
he  exclaimed :  "  Well,  it's  no  use  to  fake  with  yourself. 
I  understand.  I've  been  watching1  you  ever  since 
you  came  in  here.  And  it's  hurt  me  a  little  bit  to  see 
how  hard  you  were  working.  You  —  are  pretty  much 
up  against  it,  aren't  you,  Hagar?  " 

She  grasped  the  knob  of  the  door  for  support,  and  he, 
noticing  her  quivering  lips  and  trembling  fingers,  made 
his  own  interpretation  of  her  silence. 

"  Now,  listen  to  me,"  he  began. 

"  Oh,  please  don't  say  anything  that'll  make  me  feel 
bad." 

He  gave  a  restless  laugh.     "  I  won't." 

For  a  moment  he  stood  watching  her.  "  I  know  — 
what  you  told  Miller  —  about  the  child  — 

"  Oh,  please,  please  don't  talk  about   that." 

"  Well,  I'm  going  to  ask  one  question  —  for  his  sake. 
Tell  me  — " 

Hagar  grew  pale,  and  she  half  shut  her  eyes  as  if  she 
already  knew  what  he  would  ask  of  her. 

Best  continued  in  a  measured  voice :  "  Isn't  Thatah 
—  a  good  woman  ?  " 

She  drew  herself  to  her  fullest  height.  In  her  face 
was  the  old  proud  spirit.  But  before  she  could  muster 
her  words,  she  gave  way  entirely.  Her  little  body  wilted, 
as  if  it  had  been  struck  a  blow. 


Hagar  Revelly  417 

"  Oh,"  she  said  weakly.  "  Thatali  is  —  an  awful  good 
woman." 

"  And  the  child  ?  "  he  questioned  further. 

"  Oh,  please  —  please,"  she  begged. 

Very  calmly  he  looked  at  her.  "  I  knew  it,"  he  said 
simply ;  "  but  I  wanted  to  make  sure.  I  want  to  tell 
Miller." 

"  It  didn't  make  any  difference,"  she  started  to  say. 

"  Thank  heavens,"  he  added  to  her  words.  "  But  I'll 
write  him  to-night." 

He  walked  away  from  her  for  a  time,  leaving  her  alone 
at  the  door.  Somehow,  he  was  sure  she  would  not 
leave.  When  he  came  back  to  her  side,  he  said :  "  Well, 
we  must  get  down  to  business  anyway.  I  want  to  do 
something  for  you.  Perhaps  I  should  tell  you  that  I 
believe  that  I  can."  He  looked  into  her  face.  "  You 
know  what  I'm  driving  at  ?  " 

"  Not  quite,"  she  faltered. 

"  Well,  it's  just  this.  I've  got  a  friend  who's  coming 
over  here.  He's  got  —  money  — " 

Hagar  grasped  his  arm.  "  Please  don't  say  it,"  she 
murmured. 

"  Just  as  you  wish,"  Best  replied.  "  If  you  don't 
want  — " 

"  Oh,  go  on,  don't  mind  me,"  turning  her  head  away. 

"  All  right.  You  know  it  isn't  for  me  I'm  doing  this. 
I'm  —  well,  I'm  just  sorry  for  you,  little  girl,  and  Paris 
is  a  pretty  cold  proposition."  He  went  on  mercilessly 
now,  the  while  Hagar  sat  herself  dejectedly  in  a  large 
chair.  "  This  friend,  a  man  named  Jack  Weller,  is  a 
rich  jewellery  importer  in  Chicago.  I've  bought  a  lot 
of  jewellery  from  him.  He's  a  good  spender,  a  nice 
looking  fellow,  and  I  believe  he'll  like  you.  What  do  you 
say?  Shall  I  —  fix  it  up?  He'll  be  here  in  about  ten 
days  .  .  ." 


CHAPTER  XXXV 

HAGAR  commenced  her  search  of  the  hotel  registers,  given 
in  an  English-printed  paper,  about  two  weeks  after  Best 
had  left  Paris.  And  the  few  days  passing  the  arrival 
of  Weller's  steamer,  without  his  appearance,  made  her  be- 
gin to  fear  that  Best's  arrangements  had  gone  wrong. 

Every  day  she  inquired  at  the  Herald  office  and  looked 
through  the  lists  for  his  name. 

During  this  time  she  bought  a  long  fur  coat  for  winter 
wear,  and  two  new  gowns. 

Only  once,  as  she  was  shopping,  did  she  think  it  would 
be  a  better  plan  to  save  her  money.  But  the  coming  of 
Weller  seemed  to  make  impracticable  any  plans  beyond 
the  point  of  his  arrival.  It  was  really  only  after  the 
two  weeks  of  waiting  that  she  realized  that  Weller  was 
not  coming.  That  same  day  she  was  confronted  by  the 
hotel  management  for  the  payment  of  her  bill,  and  as 
she  stood  facing  the  pale  young  clerk,  she  saw  that  she 
could  not  stay  at  the  hotel  and  await  Weller,  and  that 
she  had  not  enough  money  to  pay  for  her  leaving. 

But  she  told  him,  "  Oh,  I'll  fix  it  up  all  right,  don't 
worry,  I'll  fix  it  up  to-morrow." 

When  night  came,  she  wandered  out  to  the  Rue  de 
Rivoli.  She  was  hungry  from  not  eating,  completely  at 
a  loss  for  some  method  of  meeting  her  obligations.  She 
had  not  the  heart  to  go  into  the  dining-room,  after  her 
interview  with  the  clerk,  and  going  into  some  other  res- 
taurant seemed  so  humiliating  that  she  decided  to  do  with- 
out eating  altogether. 

The  street  was  dark  and  depressing  and  she  turned  off 

418 


Hagar  Revelly  419 

toward  the  Rue  de  la  Madeleine.  Here  it  was  gayer  and 
better  lighted  and  her  spirits  lifted  accordingly. 

In  front  of  Maxim's,  a  young  fellow  eyed  her  and 
said  several  words  in  French  to  her.  When  he  under- 
stood she  did  not  speak  his  language,  he  said  politely  but 
with  an  effort :  "  Why  not,  Mademoiselle,  a  little  dinner, 
some  place?  " 

He  was  quite  at  her  side,  and  as  he  whispered  into  her 
ear,  his  body  touched  her. 

"  Get  away  from  me,"  she  cried,  and  tore  along  the 
boulevard  at  a  much  quicker  pace.  Before  she  had 
walked  another  block,  she  was  accosted  by  a  half  dozen 
others. 

The  first  incident  stayed  with  her,  however,  and  as  she 
thought  about  it,  the  idea  that  for  nothing  she  might 
have  managed  a  good  dinner,  seemed  much  less  repellent 
than  at  first  thought. 

She  kept  on  her  way  into  the  Boulevard  des  Capucines, 
and  when  she  came  to  the  Olympia  cellar,  she  went  down 
the  stairs  without  being  in  any  way  capable  of  account- 
ing for  it.  Two  women  ahead  of  her  had  gone  down  into 
the  burst  of  light,  and  she  followed  them  automatically. 
She  did  not  recognize  the  long,  low  running  wine  room 
and  dance  hall  as  being  one  to  which  Miller  had  taken 
them  one  night. 

There  were  many  women  standing  about  or  sitting  at 
tables  here,  so  her  first  moment  of  fright  did  not  turn 
her  away.  Instead,  she  found  herself  climbing  upon  a 
stool  after  her  two  companions  of  the  street.  A  long 
electrically  lighted  sign  over  her  head  said :  "  American 
Bar." 

It  may  have  been  the  instinct  that  had  driven  many 
women  before  her  to  the  same  row  of  high  stools  in  front 
of  the  liquor-shining  bar,  that  impelled  Hagar  to  follow 
the  women.  At  least,  her  mind  was  not  prepared,  when 


420  Hagar  Revelly 

the  bartender  flung  at  her,  in  coarse  tones,  an  inquiry 
of  her  desires. 

In  English  he  spoke :  "  What'll  you  have,  Mad'- 
m'selle?  " 

Hagar  looked  about  her,  still  bewildered  by  the  strange- 
ness of  her  surroundings.  Then  she  seemed  to  forget 
the  man  altogether,  and  leaned  wearily  over  the  groove 
that  ran  along  the  shining  surface  to  catch  the  spilt 
liquor.  Her  eyes  were  sunk  deep  in  the  frame  of  dull 
black  hair. 

One  of  the  women  who  had  preceded  her  along  the 
Boulevard,  turned  to  her.  She  had  evidently  noticed  the 
expression  on  the  face  of  the  bartender,  as  he  spoke  to 
the  forlorn,  pale  face  of  Hagar. 

"  What's  the  matter  with  you,  little  one  ?  "  the  woman 
questioned. 

Hagar  looked  up.  "  Oh,  I'm  pretty  tired,"  she  an- 
swered. Then  she  heard  the  woman's  voice  say :  "  Well, 
tell  the  man  what  you  want,  dearie.  He's  waiting.  You 
need  a  bracer,  I  guess." 

A  little  more  aroused,  and  realizing  the  obligation  she 
had  assumed  by  getting  on  the  stool,  Hagar  asked  of  the 
woman :  "  What  are  you  taking  ?  " 

"  A  little  absinthe.  I  need  it  about  this  time  of  the 
night." 

"  Give  me  the  same,"  said  Hagar  to  the  man. 

The  woman  went  on  regarding  her.  "  Why  in  the 
world  don't  you  get  some  rest?  I  always  make  it  a  point 
to  take  it  easy  during  the  day.  You  look  all  worn  out, 
and  the  night  is  just  starting." 

As  Hagar  failed  to  answer,  she  went  on :  "  Why  don't 
you?  You  do  look  like  the  devil." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know." 

The  woman  took  her  drink  at  one  gulp.  "  You  know, 
I  knew  you  were  an  American  the  way  you  said,  tired. 


Hagar  Retielly  421 

The  English  don't  speak  at  all  the  way  we  do.  I'm  from 
New  York.  Where  are  you  from,  dearie?  " 

"  Oh,  I'm  —  from  New  York,  too." 

"  Are  you  ?  Well,  it's  the  only  town  in  the  world,  all 
right."  She  grew  quiet  for  a  time  and  Hagar  noticed 
that  she  was  no  longer  young,  and  had  a  hard-look- 
ing face,  that  for  all  the  paint  showed  many  wrinkles. 
Then  the  woman  again  turned  towards  her :  "  God,  for 
just  a  smell  of  Forty-second  Street,  what  wouldn't  I 
give!  How  long  have  you  been  here?" 

She  had  been  speaking  a  good  deal  to  herself,  until  she 
had  asked  the  question  of  Hagar,  and  now  as  she  saw 
the  look  of  disinterestedness  in  Hagar's  face,  she  nearly 
interrupted  her  own  words :  "  You  are  certainly  tired 
out,  aren't  you?  I  guess  it's  because  you  don't  know  the 
system.  Anyway,  one  oughtn't  work  so  hard  now.  The 
best  paying  bunch  of  Americans  don't  come  over  until 
fall.  These  are  all  tourists,  now.  Why,  last  night  — " 
Then  she  broke  off  suddenly,  "Where  are  you  living?" 

"Why?"  asked  Hagar. 

The  woman  looked  up,  hesitated  an  instant,  and  then 
said:  "  Oh,  well,  business  is  business.  I  was  just  think- 
ing that  you  could  come  with  me.  You're  young  and 
pretty  all  right,  and  I  think  you  could  do  pretty  well. 
You're  new  at  the  game,  aren't  you?  Well,  anyway," 
she  went  on,  "  you  come  around  with  me.  We'll  talk  it 
over." 

She  paid  for  Hagar's  drink  and  started  to  get  down 
from  her  stool. 

"I  —  I'll  see  you  to-morrow  night.  I'm  too  —  tired 
to-night,"  faltered  Hagar. 

Apparently  undecided  as  to  her  next  course,  Hagar's 
companion  stood  thinking  for  a  minute.  Then  she  took 
Hagar's  hand :  "  Oh,  it'll  be  a  good  thing  for  you.  I 
know  what  your  kind  of  life  is  now.  There's  nothing  to 


it.  The  game  is  too  hard  when  you  go  it  alone.  Yes, 
you're  a  fool  to  do  the  Avenue,  even  one  more  night. 
You're  too  pretty  to  be  so  —  so  common." 

"  I'll  see  you  to-morrow  night  —  sure,"  pleaded  Hagar. 
Her  face  was  bloodless,  and  her  lips  were  as  dry  as  her 
tongue.  "  I'm  awful  tired." 

"  Well,  all  right.  I  guess  it's  better  for  you  to  get 
some  rest  to-night.  But  go  home  and  rest.  If  I  was 
you,  I'd  cut  it  out  entirely  for  to-night.  But  you'll 
meet  me  here  sure  to-morrow  night,  then  ?  "  She  took 
out  a  card  from  a  small  leather  case.  "  If  I'm  not  here 
by  ten  o'clock,  just  come  around  to  that  address,"  she 
said,  "  and  knock  once  and  walk  in.  It  will  only  let  you 
into  the  sitting-room.  I've  got  two  dandy  rooms,  and  a 
bath." 

"  All  right.  I  guess  I'll  go  now,"  said  Hagar,  as  she 
took  the  card  and  slipped  down  from  the  high  stool. 

"You  won't  forget?" 

"  Oh,  of  course  not." 

When  she  was  well  out  of  the  place,  Hagar  ran  until 
she  had  reached  her  room. 

At  six  o'clock  the  next  morning  she  sent  a  cablegram 
to  Greenfield: 

"  I  want  to  come  back  to  you,  Ben.  Please,  for  old  times' 
sake.  Will  you  cable  me  four  hundred  dollars  ?  " 


CHAPTER  XXXVI 

BENJAMIN  GREENFIELD  met  Hagar  before  the  boat 
reached  the  docks.  In  some  manner,  he  had  obtained  the 
privilege  of  coming  out  on  the  pilot  boat,  while  the  big 
steamship  was  still  considerably  out  of  her  New  York 
harbor.  Anxiously,  fraught  with  emotion,  he  followed 
the  pilot  up  the  rope-ladder,  and  found  Hagar  awaiting 
him  upon  the  deck. 

The  thoughts  that  had  accumulated  during  the  two 
weeks  interval,  between  the  time  he  had  cabled  her  the 
money  and  now,  spent  itself  in  the  instant.  He  .grasped 
her  in  his  arms,  in  front  of  the  curious  passengers,  and 
kissed  her  again  and  again  upon  her  lips  and  face. 

"  Oh,   Hagar,"    he    cried,   with   half-shut   eyes. 

As  quickly  as  possible  she  hurried  him  down  to  her 
cabin.  He  seemed  even  more  frenzied  when  they  were 
alone,  and  kept  murmuring  in  a  strange  way :  "  Hagar 
—  Hagar  —  it  can't  be." 

It  seemed  that  only  in  her  name  could  he  find  expres- 
sion for  the  many  weeks  of  misery  he  had  endured. 
When  he  had  seated  himself  upon  the  little  sofa,  she 
asked  if  he  had  been  lonesome.  It  was  a  simple  thing  to 
say,  as  a  first  answer  to  his  tempestuous  greeting,  but 
she  could  think  of  nothing  else. 

In  a  low  voice,  he  whispered :  "  Hagar,  you'll  never 
know  what  I've  gone  through." 

"  You  poor  boy,"  she  breathed. 

Then  he  tenderly  put  both  his  hands  on  her  shoul- 
ders, and  turned  her  face  toward  him.  "  But  God 

knows,  I'm  happy  now."     The  tears  glistened  in  his  eyes. 

423 


424  Hagar  Revelly 

"  I  don't  believe  you  can  understand  what  I  feel,  Hagar, 
you've  been  cruel  as  the  devil  to  me." 

She  smoothed  back  his  hair  with  her  hands. 

"  I  don't  believe  I  can,  Ben,"  she  whispered.  Then 
she  added :  "  Oh,  I  want  to,  though." 

Her  voice  took  on  more  life.  From  the  first  instant 
of  their  meeting,  she  had  been  trying  to  word  some  rest- 
less thought,  and  now  she  began  earnestly,  removing  his 
hands,  in  a  graceful  confession  of  her  inability  to  think 
as  she  wanted,  with  him  so  near. 

"  Ben,"  she  began,  "  we'd  best  talk  straight  right  away. 
You  can't  know  what  I  went  through  the  morning  I 
sent  you  that  cable.  And  after  that  I  just  counted  the 
seconds  until  I  heard  from  you,  fearing  you  would  still 
—  be  angry  with  me.  You  don't  know  what  getting  that 
answer  meant  to  me." 

"  I  can  imagine,"  he  said,  with  his  eyes  steadily  upon 
her. 

Her  tones  lost  none  of  their  firm  purpose  by  the  inter- 
ruption. 

"  Any  way,  I've  come  back,  Ben,  but  I'm  going  to  come 
back  straight,  if  you  want  me.  And  I'm  going  to  be 
honest  about  it,  too.  You  know  I  haven't  —  been 
square." 

"  It's  all  right,  child.     Don't  talk  about  it,"  he  pleaded. 

"  But  I  must  have  my  say."  Her  voice  faltered  a 
little  as  she  continued :  "  Oh,  Ben,  you  don't  know  what 
I've  suffered,  just  in  my  thoughts.  All  of  a  sudden  I 
changed  over  there  —  just  felt  sick  and  low  and  cheap 
—  felt  afraid  .  .  .  as  if  I  was  going  to  jump  off 
into  some  hole  that  I  could  never  get  out  of.  Oh,  I  can't 
explain  it.  And  what  scared  me  so  much  was  that  I  was 
getting  so  I  didn't  care. 

"  At  least,  I've  changed,  Ben.  I  guess  I'm  a  woman 
now.  I  guess  I've  found  myself."  She  took  his  hand 


Hagar  Revelly  425 

and  gently  caressed  it.  "  And  it  comes  down  to  this,  old 
boy  " —  she  paused,  with  her  head  bowed  — "  I  want  a 
home.  I  want  to  be  loved  —  but  I  want  a  home  more. 
I  want  you  to  marry  me.  That's  —  why  I  came  back, 
Ben.  I  was  just  thinking  of  myself." 

He  interrupted  her.  "  You're  a  little  excited  now, 
dear,"  he  said,  rising  from  the  seat  and  walking  restlessly 
over  to  the  porthole.  "  Everything  will  be  O.  K.,  I  sup- 
pose." 

"  No,  I  must  talk  now.  I'm  so  sick  of  everything. 
And  we've  got  to  be  square.  I  don't  really  love  you,  Ben. 
I  honestly  don't.  I  don't  really  love  anybody.  I  can't 
love  now.  It  seems  like  there  ain't  any  time  for  that.  I 
just  want  some  place  to  be  in.  I  want  .  .  .  Oh,  well 
.  .  ."  maybe  after  a  while,  if  you'll  marry  me,  and  we're 
all  settled,  and  I  can  appreciate  you  more  .  .  .  may- 
be, I'll  learn  ...  to  love  you.  I  hope  so.  Oh, 
but  the  main  thing  is  —  I  want  somebody  to  love  me. 
See ! "  she  exclaimed,  with  a  sad  smile,  "  I'm  talking 
honest,  Ben.  You  know  I'd  never  said  that  in  the  old 
days.  But  that's  straight,  Ben.  I  do  want  something 
like  that.  You're  pretty  good  —  you've  been  better  to 
me  than  —  well,  than  you  ought  to  have  been,  at  any 
rate." 

She  rose  and  with  him  looked  out  through  the  little 
window,  over  the  rough  surface  of  the  green  water. 

"  Yes,  Ben,  I  want  you  to  marry  me.  That's  the  only 
way  that  you  can  save  me.  And  I'll  try  hard  to  be  good, 
to  you." 

Thinking  perhaps  that  he  would  reply,  she  remained 
silent.  But  he  only  looked  away  from  her,  with  his  head 
bowed  upon  his  hand. 

She  slowly  put  his  arm  around  her  neck. 

"  Ben,"  she  went  on,  with  a  little  loss  of  control  in  her 
tones,  "  I  believe  I  can  make  you  happy.  I'm  willing  to 


426  Hagar  Revelly 

try  —  if  you're  willing  to  let  me.  I'm  sorry  I  don't  love 
you,  but  you  understand,  Ben,  don't  you,  boy?  I'm  just 
trying  to  be  honest." 

Then,  for  the  first  time,  Greenfield  answered  her.  With 
a  cry,  he  grasped  her  to  him :  "  Oh,  darling,  you  don't 
know  what  I've  gone  through.  You  don't  know  how  I've 
suffered  and  wanted  you.  Why,  once  I  thought  I'd  kill 
myself.  Oh,  you  don't  know.  I  can't  help  loving  you. 
But  that  night  — " 

"  Let's  bury  that  night  with  the  rest,  Ben." 

"  It's  been  pretty  hard  to  do." 

With  soft  tones,  words  full  of  a  caress  in  them,  Hagar 
said :  "  Well,  Ben,  perhaps  I've  got  something  to  blame 
you  for,  too.  So,  it's  an  evened  up  game.  You  didn't 
know  what  you  were  doing  that  day  when  you  took  the 
little  black-haired  kid  from  behind  that  waist  counter, 
did  you?" 

It  was  his  turn  to  beg  that  she  let  the  past  burv  itself. 

C5  X  v 

"  No,"  she  went  on.  "  I  guess  men  don't  think  what 
might  happen,  when  they  try  to  do  that  sort  of  thing. 
They  don't  think  that  the  little  girl  might  learn  — to  want 
—  in  the  same  way  he  does.  So,  Ben,  it's  evened  up.  I 
might  have  gone  further  —  the  night  I  cabled.  And  I 
could  have  blamed  you  for  it.  You  were  the  first  human 
being  that  put  thoughts  like  that  in  my  head. 

"  Anyway,  it's  all  right  with  me  —  if  it's  all  right  with 
you.  I  don't  love  you  now  —  but  I'll  be  square  with  you, 
and  work  for  you,  and  be  true  to  you  —  if  you'll  just  — 
marry  me." 

She  framed  his  face  with  her  hands.  "  Ben,"  she  fal- 
tered, "  tell  me,  is  it  all  right?  " 

From  the  upper  deck  came  the  blatant  notes  of  a  brass 
band,  which  had  started  its  jubilant  entrance  into  the 
inner  harbor. 

Greenfield  took  her  in  his  arms,  and  his  face  —  drawn 


Hagar  Revelly  427 

and  tense  —  showed  his  feelings  plainly.  "  Hagar,  \ 
love  you,"  he  whispered.  "  It's  all  right  with  me.  God 
knows  how  I  want  you."  Then  his  voice  broke  a  little. 
"  I  know  what  you're  worth  — and  mean  in  my  life  — 
now." 

"  Well,  if  it's  all  right  with  you,  Ben  —  it's  all  right 
with  me." 

Silently  Greenfield  folded  her  hands  and  drew  them  to 
his  lips. 

"  It's  all  right,  Hagar.  You  needn't  worry.  You 
don't  know  how  wonderful  it  is,  just  being  here  with  you. 
Why,  I'm  ten  years  younger  this  minute.  Oh,  Hagar- — 
my  girlie." 

Neither  of  them  spoke  for  some  time  —  but  gazed 
through  the  portholes,  out  over  the  swiftly  passing  water, 
so  nearly  on  a  level  with  their  eyes.  Bits  of  sunlight,  re- 
flected from  the  waves,  danced  fantastically  on  their  faces, 
while  carried  through  the  air  came  down  to  them  the  faint 
jingling  notes  of  a  rag-time  melody. 

Hagar  remained  passive  in  his  arms.  Then  she  began 
to  disengage  herself  from  his  close  embrace.  Suddenly 
she  seemed  worn  and  tired. 

"  It's  so  stuffy  down  here,  dear,"  she  said.  "  Let's  go 
up  and  listen  to  the  band." 

Dare  we  further  dog-ear  the  pages  of  Hagar's  life? 

Is  it  within  our  province  to  analyze  and  dissect  the 
comedy  of  fate  and  circumstance  —  to  approach  life  with 
lens  and  forceps,  as  though  it  were  a  magnified  Proteus, 
and,  when  it  suits  our  fancy,  to  pinch  off  an  inquisitive 
pseudopodia  from  the  protozoan  bulk,  to  hold  aloft  for 
the  appreciation  of  fellow  students? 

Who  shall  take  the  divine  prerogative  in  dispensing  re- 
wards to  those  spent  in  travail  —  to  those  who  must  needs 
traverse  the  labyrinth  of  life's  doldrums?  In  the  idea  of 


428  Hagar  Revelly 

the  parable,  the  good  are  rewarded  —  the  bad  made  to 
suffer.  But  is  justice  so  dispensed?  Can  reward  drip- 
ping hot  from  the  pen  always  finish  the  story?  .  .  . 

We  live  on  hopes,  expectations  —  hanging  speculatively 
in  mid-air  over  the  abyss  .  .  .  tight-rope  walkers  on 
the  road  to  destiny.  Only  with  our  eyes  far  ahead  are 
we  able  to  keep  to  the  present  task.  Dare  we,  then,  re- 
vert our  gaze  to  a  faltering  fellow-traveller? 

Experience  teaches  more  than  meditation.  The  abyss 
gaped  deep  and  shadow-filled.  Had  not  Hagar  peered 
into  its  depths? 


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